1
00:00:21,480 --> 00:00:24,680
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices. I'm Erica and

2
00:00:24,680 --> 00:00:27,360
Speaker 1: I'm Meila. Happy Wednesday.

3
00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:30,120
Speaker 2: Boobs are coming on.

4
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:37,199
Speaker 1: Okay, they're in secure the titties. We're posting this a

5
00:00:37,240 --> 00:00:38,440
Speaker 1: little late because.

6
00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:43,040
Speaker 3: Because it's hard, because this shit is hard to have

7
00:00:43,840 --> 00:00:48,080
Speaker 3: content to put out every single, oh fucking week, no

8
00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:50,159
Speaker 3: matter if we're tired, no matter if it came from

9
00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,559
Speaker 3: out of town, no matter if baby daddies are.

10
00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,680
Speaker 2: Getting on our nerves, no matter what is going on,

11
00:00:55,240 --> 00:00:59,320
Speaker 2: Delivering quality podcasts every week becomes challenging.

12
00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,319
Speaker 1: True, it does so.

13
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:03,600
Speaker 2: Easily.

14
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:07,319
Speaker 1: I'm tired. I don't even know why I'm tired. I've

15
00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,520
Speaker 1: been tired for like, I just I feel like my

16
00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,280
Speaker 1: energy has kind of been just a little bit low.

17
00:01:14,040 --> 00:01:15,800
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's because I'm in love and

18
00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:18,600
Speaker 1: I'm just like I want to be tired and lazy,

19
00:01:18,959 --> 00:01:23,040
Speaker 1: laid up, or if I just haven't been eating. I've

20
00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:26,520
Speaker 1: been eating more meat than ever and I don't really

21
00:01:26,560 --> 00:01:29,360
Speaker 1: eat meat like that, and I've been having tons of

22
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:34,520
Speaker 1: bacon and beef, I know, and so I don't know.

23
00:01:34,520 --> 00:01:37,880
Speaker 1: I'm just not feeling well. I just feel lazy as fuck.

24
00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,920
Speaker 4: Yeah, I've been kind of feeling the fuck is.

25
00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:46,920
Speaker 1: Happening, honestly, my neighbor and the trash.

26
00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:50,040
Speaker 2: I feel like I have.

27
00:01:50,280 --> 00:01:53,480
Speaker 4: I've been not drinking enough water, not like I eat.

28
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,160
Speaker 2: My eating habits they're so fucked up that I usually

29
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:59,280
Speaker 2: don't eat until like five pm. I fast all day

30
00:01:59,280 --> 00:02:01,000
Speaker 2: and then eat at night, and then I'm like, my

31
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:05,640
Speaker 2: stomach hurts. Oh, no, shit, bitch, you haven't eaten all day? Right, Yeah,

32
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,360
Speaker 2: a lot of things that need to be done to

33
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,400
Speaker 2: have higher energy.

34
00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:12,760
Speaker 1: I know. I went on a trip to like Tahoe

35
00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:17,160
Speaker 1: this weekend, and uh, it was beautiful, so beautiful, But

36
00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:19,440
Speaker 1: like when I got back, I felt like I needed

37
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:24,200
Speaker 1: a transitional day between the trip and life. Like I

38
00:02:24,200 --> 00:02:28,519
Speaker 1: felt like I needed like another day to like decompress

39
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,280
Speaker 1: from the trip.

40
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,239
Speaker 4: Yesterday, I just felt so anxious.

41
00:02:32,440 --> 00:02:35,880
Speaker 2: Everything was giving me fucking anxiety everything, and I just

42
00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:36,400
Speaker 2: felt like.

43
00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,560
Speaker 4: I was just stressed and I don't even know why.

44
00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:43,840
Speaker 1: Well, your birthday's coming up, do you know? His birthdays

45
00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,880
Speaker 1: on Monday? Guys, My birthday's on Monday.

46
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:50,800
Speaker 2: I will be thirty two. And yeah, I think I

47
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:52,880
Speaker 2: do get a little anxious before my birthday's just because

48
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:53,600
Speaker 2: it's another year.

49
00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,160
Speaker 1: You every year, you do, I do.

50
00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:57,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the wrong with me?

51
00:02:58,040 --> 00:02:58,160
Speaker 1: Oh?

52
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,160
Speaker 2: Yes, my birthday is coming, and I just feel like

53
00:03:01,200 --> 00:03:04,320
Speaker 2: it's such a weird time because like there's so much

54
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:04,880
Speaker 2: going on.

55
00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,400
Speaker 4: It's draining. Also, I feel like we have a lot

56
00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:09,280
Speaker 4: of stuff going on.

57
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,680
Speaker 2: It's really hard to focus on those things. It's really

58
00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,000
Speaker 2: hard to fucking focus. Also, I don't have a million

59
00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,360
Speaker 2: dollars yet. It's just I'm like, what the fuck?

60
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:17,760
Speaker 1: Okay?

61
00:03:17,880 --> 00:03:19,680
Speaker 2: And when I was twenty three, I planned on being

62
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:23,720
Speaker 2: rich by thirty, own a house, supposed to be married,

63
00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:25,000
Speaker 2: I supposed to be have my second child.

64
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:25,639
Speaker 1: I know about this.

65
00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:27,600
Speaker 2: Every year I made what I was supposed to do.

66
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,200
Speaker 1: Well, you know, I think for people listening, if you're

67
00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:34,440
Speaker 1: in your early twenties and you have all these anxieties,

68
00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:36,240
Speaker 1: as I did when I was in my twenties, I

69
00:03:36,280 --> 00:03:38,440
Speaker 1: was like, for sure, like when I'm thirty, all these

70
00:03:38,600 --> 00:03:40,600
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to hit all these milestones, guess what, you

71
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:44,280
Speaker 1: probably won't. And that's okay. I'm not saying like don't

72
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:47,960
Speaker 1: try or don't like have aspirations or goals, but I

73
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:50,320
Speaker 1: feel like we put so much pressure on ourselves and

74
00:03:50,320 --> 00:03:53,000
Speaker 1: then we hit these ages and then we're like, why

75
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,800
Speaker 1: am I not a millionaire? Why am I not married? Why?

76
00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:58,320
Speaker 1: Like my life isn't what I thought? And we were

77
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:02,640
Speaker 1: talking about that before we started recording, Like how it's

78
00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,320
Speaker 1: a it's a time. I mean, I think that it's

79
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,400
Speaker 1: all you You never really know how shit's gonna play out.

80
00:04:06,440 --> 00:04:09,480
Speaker 1: But like we're in a time right now where I

81
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:12,440
Speaker 1: feel like those feelings are even more highlighted because we

82
00:04:12,520 --> 00:04:14,640
Speaker 1: really there's really a lot of question marks in the air,

83
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,159
Speaker 1: Like am I gonna get sick? Is the one? Is

84
00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:21,280
Speaker 1: the pandemic? Ending? Why do black people keep dying? I'm

85
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,520
Speaker 1: scared to be black? Will I die when I walk

86
00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:24,160
Speaker 1: out the house?

87
00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:24,719
Speaker 2: Like?

88
00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:27,880
Speaker 1: Will will school ever be the same again? Is my kid? Okay?

89
00:04:28,279 --> 00:04:32,120
Speaker 1: Like all these things that there's just there's just like

90
00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,440
Speaker 1: not a lot of answers, just.

91
00:04:34,320 --> 00:04:36,919
Speaker 2: A huge fear of the own, the unknown. As I

92
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:41,200
Speaker 2: get older, I become more I have I hate to

93
00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,160
Speaker 2: say this, but I have.

94
00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:43,320
Speaker 4: More fear of the unknown.

95
00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,520
Speaker 2: I'm more aware that there's I have very little control

96
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:50,760
Speaker 2: over everything, and fear of the unknown. It's amost gives

97
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:54,279
Speaker 2: me anxiety, you know, like even like am I gonna

98
00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:55,240
Speaker 2: have a lifelong partner?

99
00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:56,840
Speaker 4: Am I gonna have another kid?

100
00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:59,839
Speaker 2: Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Like if there's

101
00:04:59,880 --> 00:05:04,960
Speaker 2: just so much shit like happening all the time, and

102
00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,360
Speaker 2: there's we're so like I feel like I always say,

103
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,920
Speaker 2: like our brains are only supposed to have so many channels.

104
00:05:10,960 --> 00:05:13,640
Speaker 2: Like remember back in the day, it's only like thirty channels.

105
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,480
Speaker 2: Now with social media, there's like six hundred channels, and

106
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:21,240
Speaker 2: so our brains are not programmed to be able to

107
00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:25,240
Speaker 2: switch channels that quickly and on so on so fast levels.

108
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,760
Speaker 2: So it's almost like our brains and our bodies are

109
00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:32,080
Speaker 2: over exposed and jumping from feelings and thoughts so quickly

110
00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,880
Speaker 2: that I think that's the leading cause and anxiety, like

111
00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:38,440
Speaker 2: really and truly, because we're not programmed to be paying

112
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:41,839
Speaker 2: attention to everybody's fucking life on Instagram plus our own,

113
00:05:41,880 --> 00:05:44,240
Speaker 2: plus all these other factors. You know, there's just like

114
00:05:44,520 --> 00:05:47,760
Speaker 2: an over and over charge of information, and I think

115
00:05:47,800 --> 00:05:50,520
Speaker 2: it's making us like function wrong.

116
00:05:51,320 --> 00:05:54,000
Speaker 1: But I agree, I think though I will say I

117
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:57,279
Speaker 1: think the channels in the last few months have decreased.

118
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,039
Speaker 1: I mean, I think social media is obviously you know,

119
00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,720
Speaker 1: not going anywhere, and it's been a tool for you know,

120
00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:06,599
Speaker 1: the movement that's happening and you know, keeping people socially aware.

121
00:06:07,080 --> 00:06:10,159
Speaker 1: But I think staying at home has eliminated some of

122
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,680
Speaker 1: those channels. And I think that probably was some of

123
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,360
Speaker 1: the source of my anxiety when the pandemic first started,

124
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:17,680
Speaker 1: because like I didn't know how what, Like I had

125
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,040
Speaker 1: all these channels and I didn't know I was sitting

126
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,000
Speaker 1: with them, and like, I feel like they slowly started

127
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:26,280
Speaker 1: because I feel like people are doing less now, like

128
00:06:26,400 --> 00:06:28,680
Speaker 1: they're more conscious about doing less because if you're doing

129
00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:32,000
Speaker 1: too much, you look stupid. And now I know, like

130
00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:33,880
Speaker 1: things are starting to open back up and like people,

131
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,560
Speaker 1: you know, are you going out and like traveling more

132
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:40,200
Speaker 1: and doing all those things. But I don't know. I

133
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,719
Speaker 1: think that I hope that there's I feel like there's

134
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:47,080
Speaker 1: a shift in consciousness happening for sure, definitely for the better,

135
00:06:47,440 --> 00:06:53,120
Speaker 1: I think, I hope. But with that comes like a deprogramming,

136
00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:59,120
Speaker 1: and that can feel weird, exhausting even, and like like

137
00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:01,080
Speaker 1: you're losing something but you're not well.

138
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,520
Speaker 4: It's probe right, you don't have a lot of energy.

139
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:05,800
Speaker 1: Maybe, I think, I don't know, because I think it's

140
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,360
Speaker 1: my diet diet, to be honest, I think that.

141
00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:12,400
Speaker 2: As all these things are happening, it is obviously a

142
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:15,400
Speaker 2: pivotal and transitional time. And I think it, you know,

143
00:07:15,640 --> 00:07:18,040
Speaker 2: when shit is shifting and changing, it takes energy from me,

144
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,720
Speaker 2: just like when you're growing, you got to sleep more.

145
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,840
Speaker 2: And I think because we're doing less, I think now

146
00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,600
Speaker 2: is really a time to self reflect on your own

147
00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:29,800
Speaker 2: energy and what lessons are being taught and what's right,

148
00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:32,280
Speaker 2: you know, And I think that's my lesson right now.

149
00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:35,320
Speaker 2: Like you can't control everything, and that means that you

150
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:39,200
Speaker 2: definitely can't be afraid of the unknown because everything is unknown.

151
00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,400
Speaker 2: Finding peace in the unknown and being able to be

152
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:47,800
Speaker 2: like chill, accept what it is right now and that's it,

153
00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:50,760
Speaker 2: you know, like focus on the ship that you do. Know,

154
00:07:50,960 --> 00:07:54,480
Speaker 2: you know, how you're conducting yourself now and making better

155
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:58,320
Speaker 2: decisions than I've made, and being like aware of why

156
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,200
Speaker 2: I'm making certain decisions or like why I'm afraid of

157
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:01,920
Speaker 2: certain things?

158
00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, I mean I when I so when I

159
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,440
Speaker 1: went to Tahoe this weekend, I went with like a

160
00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:15,320
Speaker 1: group of friends including Poetry Bay and Irie and all

161
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:19,680
Speaker 1: those things. And we we were up there and at night,

162
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,040
Speaker 1: like we ended up taking some mushrooms and at some

163
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,360
Speaker 1: point in my trip it was it was a really

164
00:08:24,440 --> 00:08:26,000
Speaker 1: it was cool. It was very light and it was quick.

165
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,840
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, you have these chocolatemushrooms. They lasted

166
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:31,040
Speaker 1: like three hours or something. Yeah, it was like three hours,

167
00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:37,040
Speaker 1: and it was cool. They were visual, not like overly intense,

168
00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:39,800
Speaker 1: but like yeah, for sure, like saw breathe, like the

169
00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:43,000
Speaker 1: room breathing and stuff. But there was a time at

170
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:45,440
Speaker 1: at some point I like was looking at my hands

171
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:49,400
Speaker 1: and like it was like almost like I was looking

172
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:52,800
Speaker 1: at them from outside of myself, and like I was

173
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:55,160
Speaker 1: looking at my body from outside of myself, and like

174
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:59,720
Speaker 1: suddenly like my mortality became so real, like to look

175
00:08:59,760 --> 00:09:02,840
Speaker 1: at me from like an outsider looking in and like

176
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:07,280
Speaker 1: how like none of this all this is like gonna

177
00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,240
Speaker 1: disappear one day, you know what I mean? And like

178
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,720
Speaker 1: I think, I don't know. I just became super aware

179
00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:15,840
Speaker 1: of my mortality and then like oh I started. I

180
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:17,480
Speaker 1: wasn't like I was kind of going dark, but I

181
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,120
Speaker 1: wasn't like sad, but I was just like damn, like

182
00:09:21,160 --> 00:09:26,120
Speaker 1: does any of the shit matter? Like like we're here,

183
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,560
Speaker 1: then we're not, and it's happened so fast, and like

184
00:09:30,640 --> 00:09:36,360
Speaker 1: you know, we we've been told that. We're like I

185
00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:39,080
Speaker 1: don't know, like what were we talking about. We're saying

186
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:45,120
Speaker 1: that like basically we are reflect like saying like dust

187
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:47,880
Speaker 1: particles and like the sand like not the sand, like

188
00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,800
Speaker 1: the light reflects upon us and that's what kind of

189
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:56,280
Speaker 1: creates like these bodies. And I was like, is this

190
00:09:56,360 --> 00:09:56,960
Speaker 1: even real?

191
00:09:57,160 --> 00:09:58,120
Speaker 2: Are you even here?

192
00:09:58,760 --> 00:10:00,000
Speaker 1: Like does love even.

193
00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:02,480
Speaker 2: For how long?

194
00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:03,680
Speaker 1: Like what's the point?

195
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:03,920
Speaker 2: Like?

196
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,320
Speaker 1: And I wasn't like like to kill myself or anything,

197
00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,840
Speaker 1: but I was just like it just made everything seem

198
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:12,520
Speaker 1: everything so important not seem so important, so temporary. Yeah,

199
00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:16,439
Speaker 1: And I was like shit, like all these things were chasing,

200
00:10:16,600 --> 00:10:19,240
Speaker 1: like trying to make money, trying to do all these things,

201
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:20,719
Speaker 1: all these things that we feel like we need while

202
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:22,080
Speaker 1: we're here, while we're here, we're here, and then it

203
00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,400
Speaker 1: doesn't matter anymore.

204
00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,319
Speaker 4: It's like literally what actually matters.

205
00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:28,040
Speaker 1: And then part of me was like, well that's why,

206
00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:29,840
Speaker 1: like I have to do everything that I want, I

207
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 1: have to earn everything that I want because it doesn't

208
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:33,880
Speaker 1: matter and it's quick. Yeah. But then the other party

209
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,640
Speaker 1: is like, well does it even fucking matter? Like should

210
00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:39,160
Speaker 1: I even do it? It was like I know, I

211
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:41,920
Speaker 1: feel I feel you. Yeah, literally I feel, and I

212
00:10:41,960 --> 00:10:44,120
Speaker 1: just kept looking at my hands and I was like, fuck,

213
00:10:44,240 --> 00:10:46,880
Speaker 1: these are hands, These are my these are Erica's hands,

214
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,680
Speaker 1: and like one day they won't be here anymore, and

215
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:52,120
Speaker 1: one day they'll age and they'll look weird. And I remember,

216
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:54,480
Speaker 1: like when my grandfather died, like I was in the

217
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,160
Speaker 1: hospital with him, and I was holding his hand as

218
00:10:57,200 --> 00:10:59,920
Speaker 1: he was dying, and like I was there like the

219
00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:03,120
Speaker 1: while he took his last while he took his last breath,

220
00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,400
Speaker 1: and I remember looking at his hands and they were

221
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,280
Speaker 1: so aged and they looked like they'd been through so

222
00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,440
Speaker 1: many things, and I couldn't I couldn't stop thinking about

223
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,120
Speaker 1: his hands when I was on my mushroom trip and

224
00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,200
Speaker 1: thinking like one day someone's gonna be holding my old

225
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,920
Speaker 1: ass hand and it's like then I leave and then

226
00:11:16,960 --> 00:11:20,240
Speaker 1: it's it's done. I mean, of course, like I don't know,

227
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:29,000
Speaker 1: like and even like the most iconic people, Oh shit, why.

228
00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:31,040
Speaker 4: Is that an alarm?

229
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:33,280
Speaker 2: I'm alarm and I don't know. I don't know why

230
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:39,280
Speaker 2: that's happening. One o'clock it stopped video.

231
00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:40,920
Speaker 1: That's really fucking.

232
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:54,760
Speaker 2: I think that's where it was. Is a airplane anyway.

233
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:56,360
Speaker 1: Sorry about that alarm? Like even the most, like even

234
00:11:56,400 --> 00:11:58,839
Speaker 1: the most iconic people, the people that have left their

235
00:11:58,840 --> 00:12:02,920
Speaker 1: mark here, Like when the world ends, does it matter?

236
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,920
Speaker 1: Because the world is gonna end one day. This ship

237
00:12:06,040 --> 00:12:07,840
Speaker 1: is not gonna be here forever, and as.

238
00:12:07,679 --> 00:12:11,280
Speaker 2: We know absolutely, I mean even I think for me, like, yeah,

239
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:14,079
Speaker 2: all these things that we're chasing, how important are they?

240
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,360
Speaker 2: Even in these spaces that we're like finding new new

241
00:12:17,559 --> 00:12:20,439
Speaker 2: ventures and love and that I get so much anxiety

242
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,040
Speaker 2: over that, like is this gonna be? It? Is this forever?

243
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:25,000
Speaker 2: Is this gonna be my partner? Can I do this?

244
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:28,720
Speaker 2: Like there's all these like intense questions, but it's also like, bitch,

245
00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:31,120
Speaker 2: just enjoy it and shut the fuck up, you know,

246
00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:35,160
Speaker 2: like why does why, even in goodness that we have

247
00:12:35,280 --> 00:12:38,880
Speaker 2: to ruin it with expectation and like final like what's

248
00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:40,480
Speaker 2: the what's gonna be the final thing?

249
00:12:40,679 --> 00:12:40,959
Speaker 1: You know?

250
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,880
Speaker 4: Like why do I have to ruin what I'm enjoying?

251
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:44,160
Speaker 2: Right?

252
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:47,080
Speaker 1: It's being present essentially.

253
00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:50,679
Speaker 2: Yeah, without the without the fear pouring in you know,

254
00:12:50,760 --> 00:12:52,800
Speaker 2: like what if this doesn't last as long as I

255
00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:55,679
Speaker 2: wanted to? You know, like what's after that? You know what,

256
00:12:56,240 --> 00:12:58,280
Speaker 2: It's just a bunch of bullshit that doesn't matter.

257
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,680
Speaker 1: None of this should matters, I know, I know, and

258
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:03,600
Speaker 1: that I just became so aware of my body and

259
00:13:03,640 --> 00:13:06,920
Speaker 1: the fact that I don't like really analyze it like

260
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,120
Speaker 1: I like I should. Yeah, Like, I mean, obviously it

261
00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,720
Speaker 1: was some drugs. But I was looking at my hands

262
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,160
Speaker 1: and I was like, well, I've never really taken them

263
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:17,320
Speaker 1: in and like really looked at every part of me,

264
00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:21,280
Speaker 1: and like one day, every all this it'll start changing

265
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,040
Speaker 1: and it'll start looking different and then it just will disappear,

266
00:13:25,760 --> 00:13:30,360
Speaker 1: you know. Yeah. So I don't know. I was so

267
00:13:30,559 --> 00:13:32,400
Speaker 1: that my trip I was kind of I was really

268
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,880
Speaker 1: quiet on it. I didn't really I laughed a lot though.

269
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:40,040
Speaker 1: I cried laughing. I cried laughing. It's fun and funny.

270
00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:44,600
Speaker 1: Nisha came out at one point. This airplane is so loud. Wow,

271
00:13:44,720 --> 00:13:47,760
Speaker 1: it's like the loudest one I've ever heard. What is

272
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:49,400
Speaker 1: it a jet? Is it a fighter jet?

273
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:51,280
Speaker 4: It's a big one.

274
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:55,120
Speaker 1: Nisha came out at one point and she had a

275
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:57,800
Speaker 1: sheet mask on her face. Girl, I almost passed out.

276
00:13:58,040 --> 00:13:59,120
Speaker 1: She came out and she.

277
00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,880
Speaker 2: Looked like, oh, like a mask face.

278
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm like tripping and I was like, oh

279
00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:05,440
Speaker 1: my god. And then she was like, do you want

280
00:14:05,440 --> 00:14:07,880
Speaker 1: me to pull it off, and then she like slowly

281
00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,480
Speaker 1: peeled her face off, and me and art my Bay

282
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:15,520
Speaker 1: were like, oh my god. I was like, I love drugs.

283
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,160
Speaker 1: I was like, just for these moments, you know, and

284
00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:22,400
Speaker 1: then it's over and it's fine. And you know, I've

285
00:14:22,400 --> 00:14:25,120
Speaker 1: had like I've had a life awakening moments. I've had

286
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:27,520
Speaker 1: moments where I've cried and lapped, i had moments of

287
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,520
Speaker 1: self reflection, and that's all I could ask for. I

288
00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:36,520
Speaker 1: don't understand why people have these such negative, like you

289
00:14:36,560 --> 00:14:40,000
Speaker 1: know what rules and experiences, and like I'll tell you why.

290
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:42,320
Speaker 4: Because people take drugs like.

291
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:46,440
Speaker 2: Hallucinogens like mushrooms, and then they try to fight what's

292
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:49,480
Speaker 2: happening and you can't fight it. If you fight it,

293
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:53,480
Speaker 2: you're going against God. Honestly, it's like it's like the

294
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:56,440
Speaker 2: peel away of what we of the fakeness, like of

295
00:14:56,760 --> 00:15:00,560
Speaker 2: these like layers that we've essentially created. And so when

296
00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,560
Speaker 2: you take drug like the peel that shit off, and

297
00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,600
Speaker 2: if you hold on to those those layers instead of

298
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:08,760
Speaker 2: just letting him slide off, it's gonna hurt.

299
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:09,680
Speaker 4: It's gonna be hard.

300
00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:13,360
Speaker 2: Like even that time when I'm totally like I'm emotional,

301
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:15,320
Speaker 2: but I cry by myself. That's my thing. I'll do

302
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,720
Speaker 2: it in the car, I'll do it alone, maybe in

303
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,680
Speaker 2: front of Lon because I'm I'm emotional bitch. But like

304
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:25,880
Speaker 2: that time I took mushrooms with Adventure Bay and literally

305
00:15:26,800 --> 00:15:28,600
Speaker 2: he was just sitting there and I just nestled up

306
00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:32,120
Speaker 2: to the side of his neck like this, and I

307
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,440
Speaker 2: was like, I just cried.

308
00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,320
Speaker 4: I just let that shot out, and that is not

309
00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 4: my style.

310
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:37,920
Speaker 2: Like essentially, I didn't really know him it at all

311
00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,840
Speaker 2: at this point, and I just cried for like five

312
00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,600
Speaker 2: straight minutes, and I didn't try and stop it.

313
00:15:43,600 --> 00:15:45,480
Speaker 4: I didn't even understand why. I knew I could feel

314
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:46,160
Speaker 4: that it was coming.

315
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,680
Speaker 2: I was just feeling in like an immense, intense energy

316
00:15:49,720 --> 00:15:51,720
Speaker 2: pour over me, and I decided to not fight it,

317
00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:54,440
Speaker 2: even though I don't know what to expe like he

318
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,600
Speaker 2: would expect. You know, it's not ideal. It was our

319
00:15:57,640 --> 00:16:00,440
Speaker 2: third okay, it wasn't ideal to be just in front

320
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,440
Speaker 2: of the nigga I met on him, yeah, for no reason.

321
00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:05,960
Speaker 4: And I just sat there and cried for like.

322
00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:08,360
Speaker 2: Seven minutes, and then I was like.

323
00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 4: Hmm, that was weird.

324
00:16:12,640 --> 00:16:15,040
Speaker 2: That's all I said that that was weird, that's never

325
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:19,040
Speaker 2: happened before, and he just held me like really tight,

326
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,080
Speaker 2: and I felt it wasn't a release for me.

327
00:16:21,160 --> 00:16:21,880
Speaker 4: I felt safe.

328
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:25,000
Speaker 2: I felt like like I just felt safe and like

329
00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:28,240
Speaker 2: I could just peel off and let go, and that's

330
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,840
Speaker 2: what I did. But I think if you're being like

331
00:16:31,080 --> 00:16:33,640
Speaker 2: vulnerable with someone you're not comfortable with, or even with

332
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,479
Speaker 2: yourself alone, if you're not comfortable with being vulnerable.

333
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:38,040
Speaker 1: And you can't no, it'll come up. Then it will

334
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:38,400
Speaker 1: come up.

335
00:16:38,440 --> 00:16:41,360
Speaker 2: And sometimes, like I said, I didn't really know why

336
00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:43,680
Speaker 2: I was crying except for the fact that I felt

337
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 2: like I was letting somebody in. I knew that was

338
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,920
Speaker 2: happening low key and my subconscious, But if I had

339
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,080
Speaker 2: any if I was trying to say face and be cool,

340
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,040
Speaker 2: it would have been a terrible time because it's hard.

341
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:57,280
Speaker 2: It's difficult because those drugs like that really take away

342
00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:01,480
Speaker 2: like your perception, like the masks that people put on

343
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,440
Speaker 2: or that you put on, and it really makes you

344
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,560
Speaker 2: just see like time, space, distance.

345
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:10,160
Speaker 4: None of that shit matters, right, I know. That's why

346
00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,119
Speaker 4: we advocate for mushroom so hard.

347
00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:19,040
Speaker 2: Me and Erica had a side conversation one time that

348
00:17:19,160 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 2: maybe like if like in Good Moms, We're just gonna

349
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,760
Speaker 2: have a side hustle. Then we're gonna we're gonna put

350
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:26,359
Speaker 2: out our own mushroom, Good Mom's Mushroom. We don't know

351
00:17:26,359 --> 00:17:28,440
Speaker 2: how we're gonna start that side business.

352
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,879
Speaker 1: But oh actually we did. We did have we did

353
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,520
Speaker 1: have a plan. We said we're gonna start out a

354
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:34,720
Speaker 1: fans only page and just sell mushrooms on there.

355
00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:36,399
Speaker 2: So look up for that.

356
00:17:37,359 --> 00:17:39,359
Speaker 1: We won't be shaking ass. Well, maybe they'll be ass

357
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:42,880
Speaker 1: towerks and and well, I think because people have reached

358
00:17:42,920 --> 00:17:44,639
Speaker 1: out to us asking where to get them in the

359
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:46,480
Speaker 1: different cities, and I'm like, I don't know, So I.

360
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:48,240
Speaker 4: Like, I'm in San Diego, where can I find out?

361
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:48,720
Speaker 2: My girl?

362
00:17:48,800 --> 00:17:50,480
Speaker 4: When you find and let me know because if I

363
00:17:50,560 --> 00:17:51,760
Speaker 4: come out there, I might need to know.

364
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,600
Speaker 1: But we're gonna start creating like you know that Lonely

365
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:56,960
Speaker 1: Planet how like you know Lonely Planet is the website,

366
00:17:57,359 --> 00:17:59,800
Speaker 1: Like it's like a it's like a guide throughout the

367
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,080
Speaker 1: plan in it like tell you different places. Yeah, so

368
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,520
Speaker 1: like we'll be like the Craigslist of mushrooms. Like any

369
00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:08,000
Speaker 1: city you go, just go to Good Mom's Good Mushrooms.

370
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:12,080
Speaker 1: It's like it's like it's like the Green Book for mushrooms.

371
00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 1: If you're black, you can buy mushrooms safely in this

372
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 1: part of town.

373
00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:20,800
Speaker 2: Make it right. There's gonna meet Jojo and the Brick

374
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:25,320
Speaker 2: at the Brick House. Tell them good moms.

375
00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:27,440
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

376
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,040
Speaker 2: Now I do I do advocate for it. It's been great.

377
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:32,720
Speaker 1: I mean I think I don't. I think you have to.

378
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,800
Speaker 1: I don't think everyone needs to do them, honestly, I

379
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:38,840
Speaker 1: think you have to know yourself, be careful. You know

380
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:41,320
Speaker 1: some people you need to be ready.

381
00:18:41,560 --> 00:18:44,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like we take them for fun.

382
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,120
Speaker 4: But mostly for their spiritual purpose.

383
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,040
Speaker 2: You know, I think even though you do it for fun,

384
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:52,800
Speaker 2: but we I think we've learned that to consume certain drugs,

385
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,200
Speaker 2: it's important to have an intention.

386
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 1: That's really important. I feel like, obviously there's times where

387
00:18:57,320 --> 00:19:01,040
Speaker 1: I don't, and but I find that it's when you

388
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:03,680
Speaker 1: do though, like you might forget it too along the way.

389
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,680
Speaker 1: You might forget what that intention was at some point

390
00:19:05,720 --> 00:19:07,240
Speaker 1: in your journey. But like and.

391
00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,520
Speaker 2: Also sometimes just be opening, just be open to what comes.

392
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:12,679
Speaker 2: You know, it doesn't have to be necessarily an intention

393
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:15,679
Speaker 2: that's nice too, but like whatever comes and visits you, whatever,

394
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,240
Speaker 2: resonates while you're on your trip.

395
00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:20,080
Speaker 4: I think you have to be open to receiving that.

396
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,280
Speaker 2: If it's tears, if it's releasing you know, it's just

397
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:24,119
Speaker 2: like because I'm.

398
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:26,639
Speaker 1: Also doing it with someone that you feel safe with.

399
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:28,760
Speaker 1: I think is really important. Like, don't do mushrooms at

400
00:19:28,760 --> 00:19:31,520
Speaker 1: like a house party because also unless it's all your friends,

401
00:19:31,560 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 1: unless it's a homie, a house full of homies.

402
00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,840
Speaker 2: Have you ever not? There's some times the mushrooms and

403
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:40,080
Speaker 2: I can't talk. Yeah, a lot of times you can't talk,

404
00:19:40,119 --> 00:19:43,159
Speaker 2: like you have deep intense thoughts, don't try to express

405
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 2: them anywhere. They don't make sense for me and Adventure,

406
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 2: we have conversations that I'm what the fuck are we

407
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 2: talking about? Like, yeah, you know, oh it doesn't.

408
00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:54,679
Speaker 1: Matter, Well, I yeah, I don't really. I find that

409
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 1: when I do do them, I rarely want to talk,

410
00:19:57,520 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 1: and that I'm constantly mind blown on other people can't

411
00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,320
Speaker 1: like when I when we did them in Taho, like

412
00:20:03,359 --> 00:20:05,600
Speaker 1: they were having full conversations. I was sitting there just

413
00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:07,960
Speaker 1: in silence, and I literally was I was like, I

414
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,919
Speaker 1: don't know how you guys were talking. What are you

415
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:15,240
Speaker 1: talking about? Why are we talking about TV shows? Talking

416
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,159
Speaker 1: there's nothing. There's more work to be done here. We

417
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,120
Speaker 1: don't care what happened on Insecure. I want to talk

418
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:23,520
Speaker 1: about my hands.

419
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,960
Speaker 2: Look at them, just sharing my hands, you'll feel that.

420
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: I do you see these hands?

421
00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:29,439
Speaker 1: Do you look at that?

422
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:30,680
Speaker 2: This is the answer to life?

423
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 1: Wait?

424
00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:32,320
Speaker 2: Did I tell you that?

425
00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,480
Speaker 4: Speaking of answers to life and mushrooms?

426
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,399
Speaker 2: And did I tell you?

427
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 1: I can't.

428
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,600
Speaker 2: I can't remember what I sat on the podcast and

429
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,920
Speaker 2: what I said to my friends, because all the same ship.

430
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:45,600
Speaker 2: When we went when we went camping last weekend with

431
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 2: adventure Bay to Petrona Pannacles, we mean Adventuree took mushrooms

432
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:55,560
Speaker 2: and got in the tent. I don't know how again,

433
00:20:56,000 --> 00:21:01,080
Speaker 2: met very little talking, but at some point he was

434
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,240
Speaker 2: like eating my pussy in the tent and I like

435
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:06,879
Speaker 2: looked up and I was just I had this epiphany.

436
00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:10,120
Speaker 4: And my epiphany was like I am mother Earth.

437
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,800
Speaker 2: This is the beginning of life under the stars, in

438
00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:18,840
Speaker 2: the dirt with the black man, black woman under this

439
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:23,000
Speaker 2: is my womb. Like I was feeling myself. I was

440
00:21:23,080 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 2: fucking like mother Earth in that bitch. Suddenly I was

441
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:27,520
Speaker 2: like I was reaching up in the tent and I

442
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:31,159
Speaker 2: was like this is how life was created. In my belly.

443
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:35,080
Speaker 2: I was like feeling my belly was the stars. He

444
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 2: was like, your vagina is always so high. He's like

445
00:21:37,359 --> 00:21:39,479
Speaker 2: that that makes sense because you're like the you're that's

446
00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:42,320
Speaker 2: where creation starts. And I was like, oh, he's right,

447
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 2: eat my pussy, because this is.

448
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:44,800
Speaker 4: How life starts.

449
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,119
Speaker 2: I was getting real deep. Yeah you didn't. You did?

450
00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:50,879
Speaker 1: You mentioned that part, but you didn't you mentioned the

451
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 1: creation story. I did not know you were getting your

452
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,880
Speaker 1: pussy eight at that time. You failed to mention that part.

453
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,040
Speaker 4: Sitting on his face, feel like I was fucking mother Earth,

454
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:02,560
Speaker 4: that bitch.

455
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:06,399
Speaker 2: I was like, in this darkness under the stars dirt

456
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:10,360
Speaker 2: because there's only like fucking dirt out there, like dirt stars.

457
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 4: I'm like, this is how everything started.

458
00:22:12,359 --> 00:22:14,600
Speaker 2: Like the wind was blowing really hard. I was like, yeah,

459
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:15,840
Speaker 2: this is how we started to create.

460
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:16,840
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm in Africa.

461
00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:18,120
Speaker 2: It's literally in my mind.

462
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:21,760
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah.

463
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,720
Speaker 4: I also even though we've both had very.

464
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:33,760
Speaker 2: Earth shaking love affairs from Hinge recently the last sixty

465
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:37,639
Speaker 2: day Deep Love in sixty days Love and.

466
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,680
Speaker 1: Sixty days Oh yeah.

467
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:43,520
Speaker 2: A step by step guide. First, get my first, join hine.

468
00:22:43,960 --> 00:22:47,159
Speaker 1: Second, take my shirts with the stranger, so.

469
00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:51,840
Speaker 2: You cry if you want to. Well, I wanted to

470
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 2: say Erica because she asked me this, because we also

471
00:22:55,400 --> 00:23:00,800
Speaker 2: took We had a nice Molly run too. But we're

472
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 2: not always doing drugs, so I know that it's even. So,

473
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,879
Speaker 2: just in case you guys were all wondering if we

474
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,320
Speaker 2: were in love or we were on drugs, we're both.

475
00:23:10,720 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 2: We've done our fair share of sober hanging.

476
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,200
Speaker 1: It's confirmed. I still like him sober.

477
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:18,520
Speaker 2: No, honestly because asking that in the beginning, I was like,

478
00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:22,040
Speaker 2: I'll get back to you on Monday. But now I'm like,

479
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,200
Speaker 2: so we went to the beach all day, no drugs.

480
00:23:25,240 --> 00:23:27,080
Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, this is good to know. We've hang

481
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:28,160
Speaker 2: out lots of times drugs.

482
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:30,160
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, you sound like you sound like a crackhe

483
00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,239
Speaker 1: it sound like a crack up.

484
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:37,439
Speaker 4: No, but it's not.

485
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 2: No sober and not sober. It's great.

486
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:43,920
Speaker 4: So that was just making that.

487
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,840
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm so glad. I'm so glad. We've got an update.

488
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:49,600
Speaker 1: You guys, you've heard it here first breaking news.

489
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,960
Speaker 2: Well, I think a part of me, myself sabotage and

490
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:58,199
Speaker 2: my fear of everything, like I'll leave him on Monday

491
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,560
Speaker 2: or Tuesday, and then I was like do I like,

492
00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,240
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm fine, I'm pretty cool, like I

493
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:06,640
Speaker 2: got this maybe not. Then on a Friday I see

494
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,359
Speaker 2: him again, I'm like, fuck, I'm in long.

495
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,240
Speaker 1: I thought I was, Oh my god.

496
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,920
Speaker 4: So much fear, but yeah, it's actually ridiculous.

497
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 2: Do you have those well? Never mind what say it?

498
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,560
Speaker 1: But we haven't left each other's side.

499
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:24,639
Speaker 2: I don't want to put your business out there everything

500
00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:25,399
Speaker 2: which I put.

501
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 1: Your business out here all the time. Don't be shy.

502
00:24:27,000 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 2: Now, Kay has been with this niggative for an approximately

503
00:24:30,720 --> 00:24:34,119
Speaker 2: fifteen days straight, like literally approximately fifteen day straight. I

504
00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:35,439
Speaker 2: was gonna say, do you feel like you try to

505
00:24:35,440 --> 00:24:37,879
Speaker 2: convince yourself otherwise? But she doesn't know because she hasn't.

506
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:39,880
Speaker 1: I'm not denying. I'm not denying it.

507
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:40,800
Speaker 2: I know you can't.

508
00:24:40,840 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 1: I've seen you. Yeah.

509
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 2: Also, I didn't tell you this, but since we're talking,

510
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:48,400
Speaker 2: I don't care if you get a boyfriend. Bitch, don't

511
00:24:48,440 --> 00:24:50,720
Speaker 2: you ever keep texting me back when I've called you?

512
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 2: When did you call me two times this week? I've

513
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:54,359
Speaker 2: called you?

514
00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 1: My service is terrible. There ye ask everyone, I don't

515
00:24:57,480 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 1: know any I got no miscalls.

516
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,400
Speaker 2: I think the phones have been fucking Look.

517
00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 1: At my Look at my boyfriend getting pissed, look at

518
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,720
Speaker 1: my husband. She's jealous.

519
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:06,760
Speaker 2: I'm like, is she text me back? When I just

520
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,040
Speaker 2: called her? I was like, I know that she got

521
00:25:09,080 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 2: my misscall because I called. That's how the cellular's work.

522
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,119
Speaker 1: She saw, well, not when you're in the mountain.

523
00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:18,960
Speaker 2: This is when you're back when she's just when I

524
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,800
Speaker 2: was back here. Then I told him tell her to

525
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 2: call me when she's done. She did not call me.

526
00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:25,760
Speaker 2: I said, is he not telling her the messages I'm

527
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 2: sending her. I don't slap everybody. I'm a real boyfriend.

528
00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 2: When I realized, I was like, why is she text me?

529
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:32,840
Speaker 2: And I just called her?

530
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 1: Was like, we go together? We we go together. Yeah.

531
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 1: So backing up on my scorpio obsession, Actually today we

532
00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,440
Speaker 1: had a conversation because I got something in the pattern

533
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:54,240
Speaker 1: app that said basically, when I'm in when i'm in

534
00:25:54,240 --> 00:25:58,719
Speaker 1: love or i'm with someone, I can be obsessive And

535
00:25:59,520 --> 00:26:03,880
Speaker 1: oh no, you don't say obsessive and impulsive or something.

536
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:07,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. It was another if, like a if impulsive,

537
00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:10,119
Speaker 1: So I don't know, and so I was like, oh

538
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,960
Speaker 1: my god, I am being obsessive and I was like, wait,

539
00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 1: this is why I know this is And I had

540
00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 1: this conversation with him too afterwards because I sent it

541
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:20,879
Speaker 1: to him and I was like, look, I was like,

542
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,280
Speaker 1: I'm obsessive and he was like, no, you're not. I

543
00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:27,320
Speaker 1: was like, well, you haven't left. You haven't left. I

544
00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:29,560
Speaker 1: was like, well, you're a cancer too, so you're also

545
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 1: a little bit obsessive as well, Like you will you'll

546
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,600
Speaker 1: just do you'll be You'll feed into the obsession with

547
00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:37,480
Speaker 1: me because it's comfy and shit.

548
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 2: I'm actually really lucky that adventure Prase is not feeding

549
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:42,040
Speaker 2: into any type of this shit.

550
00:26:42,480 --> 00:26:42,919
Speaker 4: I would be.

551
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:44,360
Speaker 2: I would be I would do the same thing.

552
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:49,879
Speaker 1: So I realized that I he left today and I

553
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:52,560
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I just feel like fifteen. Yeah.

554
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:54,640
Speaker 1: He was like, I don't feel He's like, I don't

555
00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:56,760
Speaker 1: feel like I'm not getting shit done, like I'm working.

556
00:26:56,840 --> 00:26:58,560
Speaker 1: Like when you do you do your thing, you do

557
00:26:58,600 --> 00:27:01,360
Speaker 1: your thing. I do my thing. I was like, it is, yes,

558
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,199
Speaker 1: that's true, but also I do feel distracted. I have

559
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 1: been somewhat distracted. And also there's a difference between like

560
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:11,560
Speaker 1: you being here and me working versus you not being

561
00:27:11,600 --> 00:27:13,360
Speaker 1: here and me working, like I want to get back

562
00:27:13,359 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: to you, so I'm gonna like try to like hurry up,

563
00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:17,960
Speaker 1: or like maybe I'll cut something short that like I

564
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: could have probably finished had you not been here. So

565
00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 1: I think those things are like I've had to. I'm

566
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:27,480
Speaker 1: checking back in with myself because I know myself and

567
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,959
Speaker 1: I know that that has been detrimental for me in

568
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: the past. Like it doesn't seem that way at first,

569
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,480
Speaker 1: but then suddenly I'm like, wait, why I'm not fulfilling

570
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 1: my dreams because I'm just here with you, And also

571
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,960
Speaker 1: like you're fulfilling yours and I'm here to support yours,

572
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:45,280
Speaker 1: and I don't really feel like doing mine, so I

573
00:27:45,280 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: don't I have to like be conscious of that and

574
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: he and he kept saying, no, you're not, No, you're not,

575
00:27:49,880 --> 00:27:54,600
Speaker 1: and I was like, listen, I know myself, Like you

576
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 1: may not feel this way, but I know who I've

577
00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,439
Speaker 1: been in previous relationships, and like, I know how it

578
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: starts to show up in my life. It's it doesn't

579
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,200
Speaker 1: immediately feel that way, and it starts to slowly chip away,

580
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 1: and then suddenly I'm doing nothing but fucking like one

581
00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:11,760
Speaker 1: thing I.

582
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 2: Will I appreciate about our friendship is that we're honest

583
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:17,639
Speaker 2: with each other and like I like, and I know,

584
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,720
Speaker 2: like we can both be digmatized dumb bitches.

585
00:28:19,840 --> 00:28:21,720
Speaker 4: You know, the records have shown.

586
00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:25,320
Speaker 2: But I also know that like you're not, so you're

587
00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,440
Speaker 2: there's no point that you're not. You're not gonna check

588
00:28:27,480 --> 00:28:29,320
Speaker 2: yourself and be like like, you're not gonna be like

589
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,600
Speaker 2: choosing dick dick dick, dick dick dick over like day

590
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,119
Speaker 2: to day, day to day just is not. I know,

591
00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 2: eventually You're gonna be like, Okay, well this I gotta

592
00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 2: shift my ship because that's how we check ourselves for

593
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:40,000
Speaker 2: the most part.

594
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:41,640
Speaker 4: And if not, you know, I'll check you and then

595
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 4: you'll have to listen, right.

596
00:28:43,920 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: I mean, And that might even be the reason that

597
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: you know what that's probably is the reason why I'm

598
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: in tired because I've been putting I've been putting a

599
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 1: lot of energy into this new relationship that I've been

600
00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: in and also trying to balance this new relationship and

601
00:28:57,680 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 1: motherhood and like trying to like the new opportun tunities

602
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 1: and figuring out, like am I doing this the right way?

603
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,040
Speaker 1: Is she okay? Am I okay? Is he okay? Are

604
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,760
Speaker 1: we okay, like you know, and.

605
00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:10,840
Speaker 2: Now it's it's it's like and then I and then

606
00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,640
Speaker 2: I've even asked myself like do I have time to

607
00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:15,680
Speaker 2: be liking someone? Like why did I do?

608
00:29:15,840 --> 00:29:17,440
Speaker 1: Like why was I on hand?

609
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:18,600
Speaker 2: This is crazy?

610
00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,480
Speaker 4: Like I want to be over here, I want to

611
00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:20,880
Speaker 4: do work.

612
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:22,719
Speaker 2: I have to do that I want to like It's

613
00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,200
Speaker 2: the answer I was feeling like I was getting overly

614
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 2: anxious about just like there's so many things that we

615
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 2: need to do that work behind on. And then you know,

616
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 2: my like my personal shit, you know, Corona, my business,

617
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:37,400
Speaker 2: My baby is she is she learned, gonna go to

618
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,560
Speaker 2: kindergarten and know all this shit she's supposed to know.

619
00:29:39,960 --> 00:29:43,200
Speaker 4: Plus I'm in love, like it's it's crazy.

620
00:29:43,320 --> 00:29:46,040
Speaker 2: And then like adventure Bay is like a real adventure bae,

621
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:50,200
Speaker 2: and people not stup sending me links to stuff and

622
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 2: I love it, my spear, but so many links, so

623
00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:57,160
Speaker 2: many trips, so much reason, so many outdoor trips, so

624
00:29:57,200 --> 00:29:59,360
Speaker 2: many outdoor and I'm so excited about them. But also

625
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, just tell tell me the day, send the calendar,

626
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:02,680
Speaker 2: invite and I will tell me what to bring. What's

627
00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,280
Speaker 2: the weather going to be? Like I don't need the links,

628
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:09,240
Speaker 2: but it's so intense, and I think also we're in

629
00:30:09,280 --> 00:30:14,080
Speaker 2: this like we're growing as women, we're growing as mothers,

630
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 2: our children are growing and.

631
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 4: It's like these it's like they are so hyper.

632
00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,360
Speaker 2: Aware and now we're in these spaces where we've never

633
00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:22,800
Speaker 2: done this before.

634
00:30:22,880 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 4: Our kids are aware of what we're doing.

635
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:28,800
Speaker 2: I took Lona to the drive in movie with Adventure

636
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 2: Bay and we'd hung out all three of us together before,

637
00:30:31,640 --> 00:30:36,120
Speaker 2: but I was feeling like a little nervous because she's

638
00:30:36,160 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 2: looking at me. I'm a certain way with him generally

639
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:40,920
Speaker 2: without her, and I kind of was like enjoying our

640
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,880
Speaker 2: separate lives. But now I'm like, that's not realistic. And

641
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 2: then because it's not realistic, I'm like, am I Like

642
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 2: what kind of mom thinks that way? It's a guilty thought,

643
00:30:50,920 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 2: but like eventually, like it's just something that has to happen.

644
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 2: They have to have a chemistry, they have to get

645
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 2: to know each other, and it's just like a very

646
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:00,160
Speaker 2: strange place to be right now.

647
00:31:00,200 --> 00:31:02,479
Speaker 4: I feel like with like these five year olds going

648
00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:03,120
Speaker 4: on twenty.

649
00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:07,360
Speaker 1: Five, I know, I mean, I know Ari is over

650
00:31:07,400 --> 00:31:11,080
Speaker 1: here asking me is can't is blah blah, blah spending.

651
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:12,840
Speaker 1: Is he gonna spend the night? And I'm like what?

652
00:31:13,560 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: And then I don't know, Like I was like on

653
00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:20,240
Speaker 1: my trip, I was I was trying to be aware

654
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:24,520
Speaker 1: of our interactions in front of her. You know, I

655
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: have to admit though, like I was affectionate towards him.

656
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: I don't how can you not be? I mean, like

657
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:33,560
Speaker 1: he didn't. I don't know if she ever saw us kiss,

658
00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:37,600
Speaker 1: but she definitely saw us hugging alive, like I don't

659
00:31:37,600 --> 00:31:41,200
Speaker 1: think she did. I don't think she did, but there

660
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 1: was definitely enough that it was like, this is not

661
00:31:43,400 --> 00:31:47,760
Speaker 1: Uncle Sebastian, right, this is something else. And you know,

662
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,920
Speaker 1: at one point he asked her, He was like, Iri, like,

663
00:31:51,120 --> 00:31:53,640
Speaker 1: how would you feel if I took your mom on

664
00:31:53,680 --> 00:31:55,840
Speaker 1: a date? Can I take her on a date? And

665
00:31:55,880 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: she was like yeah, And then she was like, but

666
00:31:58,480 --> 00:32:00,800
Speaker 1: you have to get her a ring. I was like,

667
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: oh my god, fucking Adrian, Adrian, fucking Ladybug, Miraculous. I

668
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:07,920
Speaker 1: don't know if anyone else's kids watch Miraculous Ladybug. Don't

669
00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:08,800
Speaker 1: let them watch that show.

670
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:11,160
Speaker 2: They're girls. Don't let any kids watch it because it's

671
00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:12,320
Speaker 2: it's brainwashed.

672
00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,200
Speaker 1: Honestly, Like I don't, and that's another thing I feel

673
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:16,840
Speaker 1: bad that I don't. I haven't really sat down and

674
00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:18,920
Speaker 1: watched the ship. I have my kid watching because I'm like, wait,

675
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:20,520
Speaker 1: what the fuck are they talking about over here?

676
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:26,880
Speaker 5: But just like yeah, just when there's a third person

677
00:32:26,920 --> 00:32:29,800
Speaker 5: in the relationship, it's a huge dynamic. Even I realized,

678
00:32:29,840 --> 00:32:32,520
Speaker 5: like this is this is mean, and this is actually

679
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:36,000
Speaker 5: I haven't discussed this with him, so I shouldn't.

680
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:36,960
Speaker 1: Say it, but I'm going to.

681
00:32:38,520 --> 00:32:40,960
Speaker 2: He doesn't have kids, and he's not around well I

682
00:32:40,960 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 2: mean it's probably his ex had a kid, but he

683
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:49,080
Speaker 2: fucking and I'm my parenting skills are adultish. But he

684
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 2: talks to Luna like he's goddamn like Barney and mister Rogers.

685
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 2: And it drives me crazy. And I know he's really trying.

686
00:32:58,640 --> 00:33:00,680
Speaker 2: He is really trying, and she likes it, and she

687
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,480
Speaker 2: really likes him. And maybe I'm just a bad mom

688
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:06,320
Speaker 2: because I refuse to talk any regular than this. That's

689
00:33:06,360 --> 00:33:10,520
Speaker 2: fucking up, what are you doing? Whatever, let's go. So

690
00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 2: he's like really animated and his talking and it was

691
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:14,560
Speaker 2: just like making me like a little.

692
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: Tense, not tense, How dare you talk about a kid

693
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: like a child.

694
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:23,760
Speaker 2: But also I I've come to the conclusion this week,

695
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:27,880
Speaker 2: probably yesterday, I think that I'm so cool and so

696
00:33:28,320 --> 00:33:29,920
Speaker 2: relaxed and so go up the flow.

697
00:33:30,040 --> 00:33:30,840
Speaker 4: But that's not true.

698
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,640
Speaker 2: I'm actually very rigid, and I actually get annoyed very quickly.

699
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,200
Speaker 2: And Erica will tell you my number one thing I

700
00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:39,920
Speaker 2: say is so fucking annoyed. It's a fucking annoyed I

701
00:33:40,040 --> 00:33:42,200
Speaker 2: say it probably four hundred times a day.

702
00:33:43,000 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 1: I say it too, though, and then.

703
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 2: But then I'm like, what are you really annoyed about?

704
00:33:46,760 --> 00:33:52,640
Speaker 2: This nice man? Is being nice to your Child's wrong

705
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,800
Speaker 2: with me? Everything bothers me. I'm like, don't like it.

706
00:33:56,440 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: That's not how we parent. Well that's why I said

707
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:01,960
Speaker 1: to you, Like I say, think it's a simple conversation.

708
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 1: I think these men are show but are showing up

709
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:06,680
Speaker 1: in our lives, and we have to talk to them

710
00:34:06,720 --> 00:34:09,319
Speaker 1: about how we have gotten to this place so far

711
00:34:09,400 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 1: with our kids, you know, like how where they're at,

712
00:34:12,360 --> 00:34:15,680
Speaker 1: like in their emotional development, Like Iris really sassy right

713
00:34:15,719 --> 00:34:18,279
Speaker 1: now and like doing ship that like there's low key embarrassing,

714
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 1: and I'm like, yo is I'm like, is this a

715
00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:23,040
Speaker 1: reflection of me? And then like I'll realize that she

716
00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,040
Speaker 1: says ship that I say, and I didn't even realize.

717
00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,719
Speaker 1: I say, like she always like, she goes like what

718
00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: does she say? Like what do you mean?

719
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 2: Like they're in this stage where that they can't curse,

720
00:34:33,600 --> 00:34:34,719
Speaker 2: so they try to what the heck?

721
00:34:34,760 --> 00:34:35,160
Speaker 1: What do you mean?

722
00:34:35,200 --> 00:34:35,879
Speaker 2: What do you mean?

723
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:36,239
Speaker 1: What the heck?

724
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,080
Speaker 2: She's like, what the heck? What do you mean? What

725
00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 2: the he.

726
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 1: And then the other day I was like, what do

727
00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:44,160
Speaker 1: you mean? And he was like, that's where she gets

728
00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 1: it from. And I was like, fuck, he's right.

729
00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,640
Speaker 2: But you have the correct because I realize what they're

730
00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:50,960
Speaker 2: doing is they're trying to say what the hell, like

731
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:53,960
Speaker 2: trying to emulate a grown person talking, but they know

732
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:54,759
Speaker 2: they can't say that.

733
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:55,759
Speaker 1: So I, yeah, what the heck?

734
00:34:55,880 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 2: I literally tell Lena, I said, I don't know why

735
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,480
Speaker 2: you keep doing that, and you're attempting to curse, but

736
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 2: you're not al So stop inserting it in a way

737
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:04,480
Speaker 2: that you think that you're cursing, because it's annoying. You're

738
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:06,520
Speaker 2: not grown. Don't talk to me like that. Even if

739
00:35:06,560 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 2: you say heck, I'll still slap you.

740
00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 1: I think it's also she doesn't she doesn't realize, like

741
00:35:10,640 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 1: she's still trying to understand the boundaries of adults and kids,

742
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:16,480
Speaker 1: like what's acceptable to say to adults and what's acceptable

743
00:35:16,520 --> 00:35:19,000
Speaker 1: to say to her little friends, and so those lines

744
00:35:19,040 --> 00:35:22,200
Speaker 1: get blurred often. And for me, like, I know, I

745
00:35:22,239 --> 00:35:24,359
Speaker 1: know what's happening because I'm in her life every day,

746
00:35:24,560 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: but for someone else coming in who's just being exposed

747
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,319
Speaker 1: to these little nuances that she's going through, like they

748
00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: don't know that. And so it's I think it's important

749
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,480
Speaker 1: for us as parents that are dating people and know

750
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:38,120
Speaker 1: are going to be in our kids' lives to kind

751
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: of have these conversations with them about where our kids

752
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:42,520
Speaker 1: are at, and this is how I'm dealing with it,

753
00:35:42,840 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: and like I need you to get on board with it.

754
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,360
Speaker 1: Do you have any other opinions, Like I'll be open

755
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,200
Speaker 1: to hearing them, because I don't know what the fuck

756
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,560
Speaker 1: I'm really doing, But for the most part, like this

757
00:35:51,719 --> 00:35:57,080
Speaker 1: is I have some sort of like blueprint as to

758
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:01,040
Speaker 1: like how I'm doing dealing with certain things, you know, and.

759
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 2: So and also I think it's the first time in

760
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 2: our like really in our parents, like that first time

761
00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:10,800
Speaker 2: that it's actually I realized. It's also like we're also

762
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,480
Speaker 2: kind of concerned because there's someone judging our parenting.

763
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 1: That's too. I feel me too. I felt I thought,

764
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 1: I thought, I kind of felt I'm barras. I was like,

765
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 1: oh my god, he thinks that she's a brat. My fault.

766
00:36:22,400 --> 00:36:24,000
Speaker 1: It's my fault. She's a brat because of me.

767
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:25,919
Speaker 2: She keeps calling him a poopy head.

768
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 1: I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad parent.

769
00:36:29,880 --> 00:36:31,680
Speaker 2: Her, Like, I feel like a fucking angel.

770
00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:33,120
Speaker 1: You are proud.

771
00:36:33,600 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 2: We're trying to we're trying to get wet and how

772
00:36:36,320 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 2: I like a good child.

773
00:36:42,120 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 1: When I was even telling Jamila, like there was a

774
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,359
Speaker 1: there was a point where on the on the road

775
00:36:46,360 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: trip there, it was a really long ride, and like

776
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:51,560
Speaker 1: she said something to him or like wanted a pillow,

777
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:54,000
Speaker 1: but like wasn't going about it in a good way.

778
00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:55,680
Speaker 1: Like she was just not going about it in a

779
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,960
Speaker 1: good way and he wasn't giving into it. And then

780
00:36:58,040 --> 00:36:59,759
Speaker 1: like she was being a brade. And then he got

781
00:36:59,840 --> 00:37:02,600
Speaker 1: your id and was like, no, I'm not giving you

782
00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:05,160
Speaker 1: the pillow. And then I'm hearing what's happening backseat, I'm

783
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:08,040
Speaker 1: immediately triggered. I'm like, what give her the fucking pillow?

784
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:09,719
Speaker 1: What the fuck? Like, what do you mean?

785
00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:12,120
Speaker 2: What do you mean, What do you mean.

786
00:37:14,600 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 1: Why are you giving her the pillow? I don't And

787
00:37:16,080 --> 00:37:17,520
Speaker 1: then I was like, she is being a little bitch,

788
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:21,000
Speaker 1: but like only I can do that. And then I

789
00:37:21,080 --> 00:37:22,719
Speaker 1: was like, oh god, but this is what I asked for.

790
00:37:22,800 --> 00:37:25,799
Speaker 1: I wanted someone that was like going to, like, you know,

791
00:37:25,920 --> 00:37:28,840
Speaker 1: help me obviously, like he he has to have boundaries

792
00:37:28,880 --> 00:37:30,879
Speaker 1: and like this is my child, and like, but that's

793
00:37:30,880 --> 00:37:33,560
Speaker 1: why it's important. That's when I realized on this trip,

794
00:37:33,600 --> 00:37:35,920
Speaker 1: I realized it is important for us to me to

795
00:37:35,960 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 1: have conversations with him. And he even said it. He

796
00:37:37,840 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 1: was like, you know what, I realized that, like I

797
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:44,239
Speaker 1: should probably ask you how you're you know, disciplining her,

798
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:46,920
Speaker 1: and like if you want me to help you in

799
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:49,760
Speaker 1: that way, what you feel comfortable with? And like, because

800
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:52,440
Speaker 1: I didn't know, I didn't fel uncomfortable until it happened,

801
00:37:52,520 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 1: and I was immediately triggered and I wanted to curse

802
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,600
Speaker 1: him out even though she was wrong.

803
00:37:57,080 --> 00:37:59,600
Speaker 2: I think it also requires for us, because I've had

804
00:37:59,640 --> 00:38:02,920
Speaker 2: to do this a lot in this process, is remind myself.

805
00:38:02,760 --> 00:38:05,400
Speaker 4: What is it that you actually want? Jamila?

806
00:38:05,520 --> 00:38:08,239
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Because we ask for these

807
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 2: things we write this manifestation list, we love my baby

808
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 2: like it's your own, you know, and then it happens

809
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:17,719
Speaker 2: We're like, ah, how'd you know? And then like or

810
00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,400
Speaker 2: we're taking her with us to places and I'm like,

811
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:23,160
Speaker 2: this feels weird. Yeah, should I have left your home?

812
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:25,839
Speaker 2: You know what I mean? And I'm like and it's

813
00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:29,520
Speaker 2: like I have to check myself all the time, because no, actually,

814
00:38:29,800 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 2: I do want this. I do want us to be

815
00:38:32,239 --> 00:38:34,400
Speaker 2: able to blend. I do want this to feel comfortable.

816
00:38:34,440 --> 00:38:36,759
Speaker 2: I don't know why I'm sweating so hard while this

817
00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,880
Speaker 2: is happening, Like I'm gonna like this is It's just

818
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:45,400
Speaker 2: we've lived our single mom lives so so, you know,

819
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:48,399
Speaker 2: so long. At this point, it's just like it is

820
00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,040
Speaker 2: a shift, and it does require us to kind of

821
00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 2: check ourselves in the process, because we do want partners

822
00:38:54,120 --> 00:38:55,600
Speaker 2: that are not going to be like, well, it's not

823
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:59,120
Speaker 2: my baby my problem. And it's also it's early and

824
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 2: so you have to establish those boundaries. But also, you know,

825
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:05,000
Speaker 2: like even having the conversation to say, like, what is

826
00:39:05,040 --> 00:39:08,120
Speaker 2: you know, I think that's cool because I don't want

827
00:39:08,160 --> 00:39:09,880
Speaker 2: a guy who wants to be in my life but

828
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:12,120
Speaker 2: also doesn't think you know what I mean. This isn't

829
00:39:12,160 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 2: like you're not gonna be beaten my cad or no

830
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: shit like that. But you know, I just want, I think,

831
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:18,640
Speaker 2: if we want to have more kids, I need to

832
00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:20,439
Speaker 2: know where you're out on parenting, Like, these are.

833
00:39:20,360 --> 00:39:23,799
Speaker 4: Things that are important to understand about one another. That

834
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:24,760
Speaker 4: is your kid voice.

835
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:28,439
Speaker 2: Why why if you have to talk in that voice?

836
00:39:28,520 --> 00:39:33,040
Speaker 2: I don't understand. But it's just like it's a very

837
00:39:33,040 --> 00:39:39,320
Speaker 2: interesting dating dynamic with children and having to have chemistry abroad.

838
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,440
Speaker 2: You know, it's not just you and this person. It's you,

839
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:46,279
Speaker 2: this person and your child. So oh Lord Jesus said help.

840
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:52,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's definitely been Really I don't even want

841
00:39:52,160 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 1: to say the word. It's the word triggered comes up.

842
00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:58,480
Speaker 1: But it's not that, it's just like it's just pulling

843
00:39:58,520 --> 00:40:02,319
Speaker 1: things open that I'm I'm like, oh, even things that

844
00:40:02,360 --> 00:40:03,799
Speaker 1: I thought, like I think I talked about this in

845
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 1: the last episode that like things I thought I had

846
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 1: worked on that it were done. I haven't really had

847
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,440
Speaker 1: the chance to work on them because there hasn't been

848
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,919
Speaker 1: someone to like force me to have to actively address them.

849
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:17,719
Speaker 1: It's just like I've been addressing them by myself. You know,

850
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,680
Speaker 1: and now and now I have someone here challenging me,

851
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:24,480
Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm still not I'm still

852
00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:26,160
Speaker 1: not healed from that all the way, even this whole

853
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:29,719
Speaker 1: like we've been together for like two weeks straight, you know,

854
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:31,239
Speaker 1: like I thought like, oh, yeah, I'm good.

855
00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:31,799
Speaker 2: I don't do that.

856
00:40:32,040 --> 00:40:34,440
Speaker 1: I'm really good at not doing that. No I'm not.

857
00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:35,840
Speaker 1: I'm not good at not doing that.

858
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:40,800
Speaker 2: I realized, like because like poetry, Bay is a cancer,

859
00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:44,360
Speaker 2: and so I have we have. I think there's traits

860
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:46,719
Speaker 2: that I see, like because I need a lot. I

861
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,960
Speaker 2: if you don't give me a lot of reassurance, like

862
00:40:50,160 --> 00:40:51,520
Speaker 2: tell me you want me to come, tell me you

863
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:54,960
Speaker 2: want me to stay, I've immediately in my mind, I'm like,

864
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,600
Speaker 2: they don't really like me. Do they want me to

865
00:40:57,600 --> 00:40:59,080
Speaker 2: sit here? Should I leave? Are you trying to tell

866
00:40:59,080 --> 00:41:00,400
Speaker 2: me to leave? I can get high, I know if

867
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,520
Speaker 2: they make up some whole shit in my head. He

868
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,319
Speaker 2: told me believe is he tired of me? Does he's

869
00:41:04,360 --> 00:41:06,759
Speaker 2: looking at me funny? He's tapping his pen. I think

870
00:41:06,800 --> 00:41:09,680
Speaker 2: he's annoyed, you know, like the ridiculous things. But also

871
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:13,880
Speaker 2: like I have to train myself out of that, like

872
00:41:13,880 --> 00:41:16,040
Speaker 2: like thinking that I'm a burden, like, no, I'm here,

873
00:41:16,239 --> 00:41:17,960
Speaker 2: Like I could stay if I want. If he didn't

874
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 2: want me to be here, tell me. If he does

875
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:21,640
Speaker 2: say leave give me space, then I'm okay with that too.

876
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,840
Speaker 2: And actually, one of our four hundred links that he

877
00:41:24,960 --> 00:41:26,719
Speaker 2: sent me, but one of our four hundred trips that

878
00:41:26,760 --> 00:41:30,440
Speaker 2: were planning, he basically said, I want to do these,

879
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,120
Speaker 2: this and this, but if you don't want to do it,

880
00:41:33,160 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 2: I'm totally cool with you staying behind and doing something else.

881
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 2: In fact, I really encourage you to do some travel,

882
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:40,480
Speaker 2: like we can go to blah blah blah together, but

883
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:42,880
Speaker 2: I really encourage you to do some traveling alone and

884
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:44,520
Speaker 2: do some things on your own. I think it's important,

885
00:41:44,520 --> 00:41:47,320
Speaker 2: as you know, as a female, to just travel alone.

886
00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 4: And initially my first instinct was.

887
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,000
Speaker 2: Like, why are you trying to get rid of me

888
00:41:52,480 --> 00:41:55,440
Speaker 2: on a trip that we've planned, we're planning together. And

889
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,480
Speaker 2: then after I had to really sit and sit with

890
00:41:57,520 --> 00:41:59,759
Speaker 2: it and think, I'm like, actually, that's really nice of

891
00:41:59,800 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 2: you to even like give me the option.

892
00:42:02,600 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 4: It's really nice that there's someone who.

893
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:05,960
Speaker 2: Like, first of all, you're not like women are gonna

894
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,239
Speaker 2: get raped and killed in a foreign country. You know,

895
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,279
Speaker 2: like that propaganda that everybody gives and then that you

896
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:12,799
Speaker 2: want to give me freedom to go explore and do

897
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 2: my own thing. I've never had that really in a relationship.

898
00:42:15,760 --> 00:42:19,400
Speaker 2: And so I've realized I've developed this understanding of relationships

899
00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:21,040
Speaker 2: that if you don't want to be up under me

900
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,080
Speaker 2: and love me and need me all the time, you

901
00:42:23,120 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 2: don't love me, which is sick in psycho, but I

902
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,560
Speaker 2: see as the dynamics. I thought of my parents codependence

903
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:31,200
Speaker 2: like a motherfucker till this day, you know, like very

904
00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,040
Speaker 2: like my mom. I love my mom, She's amazing, but

905
00:42:34,200 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 2: like her, my dad is her fucking kryptonite. She can

906
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:39,440
Speaker 2: call him from the aisle six to ask what beans

907
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:41,720
Speaker 2: shoes shit buy? He could be in a different country.

908
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:45,680
Speaker 2: It's just like this thing. But like I've realized that

909
00:42:45,800 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 2: I because I probably have some sort of abandonment issues

910
00:42:48,520 --> 00:42:51,520
Speaker 2: and other shit that if someone's not constantly reinsuring me

911
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:54,040
Speaker 2: or be like please come with me, please come stay,

912
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,480
Speaker 2: be with me, stay, I love you, then I'm like,

913
00:42:56,640 --> 00:42:58,799
Speaker 2: maybe they don't want me here, maybe I shouldn't be here,

914
00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:02,640
Speaker 2: And how fuck that you know of a mindset that is?

915
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:05,440
Speaker 2: And so I'm having to really like address those things

916
00:43:05,440 --> 00:43:09,040
Speaker 2: in this relationship with someone who's obviously like enjoys his

917
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:12,279
Speaker 2: his boundaries and his space, and I actually do too.

918
00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,960
Speaker 2: So I don't know why I've come to believe this,

919
00:43:15,719 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 2: that relationship should work that way or else.

920
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,240
Speaker 4: It doesn't mean shit, right right, No, it's true.

921
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:22,920
Speaker 1: I mean, I think there's all the other ways for you,

922
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:25,359
Speaker 1: for it seems like he does that, like there's other

923
00:43:25,400 --> 00:43:28,600
Speaker 1: ways to make you feel secure in it when you

924
00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 1: are when you guys are apart, you know. So I

925
00:43:33,400 --> 00:43:36,760
Speaker 1: don't know. I don't know if poetry Bay is exactly

926
00:43:36,840 --> 00:43:39,680
Speaker 1: like that, But I don't know. I mean I think,

927
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,520
Speaker 1: I think, I think I'm like that too. I think

928
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:45,120
Speaker 1: that's why I have had I think it's not so

929
00:43:45,239 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: much about like I, if you're not with me, you

930
00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:55,000
Speaker 1: don't love me. It's more so like I don't know,

931
00:43:55,040 --> 00:43:57,359
Speaker 1: I don't know what it is part of me is

932
00:43:57,440 --> 00:44:00,279
Speaker 1: like in the past, it was me avoiding myself. That's

933
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 1: why I did it because I didn't know what I

934
00:44:02,040 --> 00:44:04,239
Speaker 1: wanted to do with my life. I didn't know. I

935
00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: didn't know if I was good at anything, and like

936
00:44:06,120 --> 00:44:08,600
Speaker 1: he was good at at something, and like I knew

937
00:44:08,600 --> 00:44:11,960
Speaker 1: I could empower that and I could support that and

938
00:44:12,920 --> 00:44:15,680
Speaker 1: that was good enough for me at the time, which

939
00:44:15,719 --> 00:44:19,160
Speaker 1: is really weird and sad to say, No, it's honest.

940
00:44:19,239 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 2: I think we all go through questioning if we're adequate,

941
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:24,399
Speaker 2: if we're doing enough.

942
00:44:24,520 --> 00:44:26,600
Speaker 1: It was it was just so much easier to avoid

943
00:44:26,680 --> 00:44:29,200
Speaker 1: doing anything if I was just with him all the time,

944
00:44:29,640 --> 00:44:31,400
Speaker 1: and like I was going with him everywhere.

945
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:32,359
Speaker 2: And he wasn't the.

946
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:33,759
Speaker 4: Type of guy tod be like, what did you want

947
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:34,000
Speaker 4: to do?

948
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:36,480
Speaker 2: No, of course, not fostering those dreams.

949
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,239
Speaker 1: You know, he wanted someone to join him. He didn't.

950
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:41,080
Speaker 1: He didn't like to be alone either, So it was

951
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 1: like the perfect codependency, Like he doesn't have to really

952
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:46,080
Speaker 1: ask me what the fuck I'm doing, and I'm still

953
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:47,759
Speaker 1: going to come on the long for the ride with him.

954
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:52,520
Speaker 2: I've been in that relationship where the codependency was equal,

955
00:44:52,719 --> 00:44:56,120
Speaker 2: and I've seen where that's taken me, and it's not

956
00:44:56,320 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 2: good because I know I can get comfortable like that

957
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:00,840
Speaker 2: and then I'll get resentful, but and I'm still doing it.

958
00:45:00,880 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 2: And then, and I've said this before, I think in

959
00:45:03,360 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: new relationships in general, and even though you guys have

960
00:45:06,080 --> 00:45:09,040
Speaker 2: been together for forty seven days and nights, I think

961
00:45:09,360 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 2: part of the problem is when we do that, it's

962
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:12,520
Speaker 2: like not only like you can eat burns hot and

963
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:13,920
Speaker 2: then it can sizzle. I'm not saying that at all,

964
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:17,520
Speaker 2: but I think what happens is there becomes this routine.

965
00:45:17,719 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 2: I'm being together all the time, routine, routine, routine, and

966
00:45:19,880 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 2: it feels good and it feels nice. And as soon

967
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 2: as some break steps out of that routine, you're like, hmmm,

968
00:45:25,360 --> 00:45:27,160
Speaker 2: this feels different. Where are you going? Why are you

969
00:45:27,280 --> 00:45:30,400
Speaker 2: doing that? And so because you've become accustomed to being

970
00:45:30,400 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 2: with someone, so it's not so much that you're really

971
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 2: jealous or offended or feel really any probably there's real

972
00:45:36,440 --> 00:45:40,120
Speaker 2: no deeper reasons except that, wow, it's changed from the

973
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: routine that we've been in, and so now it feels

974
00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:44,919
Speaker 2: it feels uncomfortable and it feels awkward.

975
00:45:44,600 --> 00:45:45,719
Speaker 4: Like well, why didn't you invite me?

976
00:45:46,200 --> 00:45:47,440
Speaker 2: Why why can't I come?

977
00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:49,720
Speaker 1: Or you know, like that's not and that's it's something

978
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:51,799
Speaker 1: I definitely don't I don't want.

979
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:53,520
Speaker 2: I think we do that as women in it and

980
00:45:53,600 --> 00:45:56,399
Speaker 2: like and when that happens, because I've done that, I've

981
00:45:56,440 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: done that, like to the point where I would fucking

982
00:45:58,160 --> 00:46:01,800
Speaker 2: take a shower without would be like, why are you

983
00:46:01,880 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 2: taking shower right now? I'm like, because I want to

984
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,839
Speaker 2: wash my ask He thought we were supposed to take

985
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:08,319
Speaker 2: showers every single day together, you know what I mean,

986
00:46:08,360 --> 00:46:10,680
Speaker 2: because it was our routine. It felt weird for him

987
00:46:10,719 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 2: when I did it, and then I was like, this

988
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,839
Speaker 2: is getting too much, so that this is my first

989
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,640
Speaker 2: time like being an adult and like liking someone and not.

990
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:20,439
Speaker 4: And actually being able to come.

991
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 2: Up for air. I think we've switched, you know, it's

992
00:46:23,560 --> 00:46:24,640
Speaker 2: I don't even know who I am.

993
00:46:24,800 --> 00:46:27,440
Speaker 1: I think we've switched. I think that was me before.

994
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:29,799
Speaker 1: That's that's been me in my dating situations, even with

995
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 1: Happy Bay, like we had we were together a lot,

996
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:36,280
Speaker 1: but we also like had a lot of boundaries just

997
00:46:36,280 --> 00:46:39,319
Speaker 1: just different boundaries or whatever. But like I know, for me,

998
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 1: I do need space period, like I do, and like

999
00:46:43,080 --> 00:46:44,959
Speaker 1: I don't want to ever be in the position where

1000
00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:46,960
Speaker 1: like I'm like I'm gonna go on a trip with

1001
00:46:47,000 --> 00:46:49,520
Speaker 1: my friends and like someone is like, what, like it

1002
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:51,560
Speaker 1: feels weird because that's gonna make me feel triggered. I'd

1003
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:53,560
Speaker 1: be like, Nigga, what fuck exactly? Like because I know

1004
00:46:53,640 --> 00:46:56,480
Speaker 1: I'm not like, no, I need time. I need my girl,

1005
00:46:56,600 --> 00:46:58,719
Speaker 1: like I need my girl time and that's it, you know.

1006
00:46:59,320 --> 00:47:01,440
Speaker 1: But I think I've been moving really fast in the

1007
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:03,920
Speaker 1: last obviously like month and a half, and for me,

1008
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:07,759
Speaker 1: like if it has felt natural, I'm not. And That's

1009
00:47:07,760 --> 00:47:09,960
Speaker 1: why I've been going with it because before I was

1010
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 1: navigating and set in a space of such fear that

1011
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,279
Speaker 1: I was like, let me just explore this and like

1012
00:47:15,920 --> 00:47:19,240
Speaker 1: walk into something not feeling scared, and see where it goes.

1013
00:47:19,440 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: But now I think I think today too was like

1014
00:47:22,239 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 1: a big realization for me, not realization, it was just

1015
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:29,280
Speaker 1: like a reminder like hey, bitch, like okay, y'all secure,

1016
00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 1: you did it. Now let's let's break it up a

1017
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:38,480
Speaker 1: little bit, do what you gotta do. And but like

1018
00:47:38,520 --> 00:47:41,400
Speaker 1: still like there's it doesn't mean anything is wrong, anything

1019
00:47:41,440 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 1: negative has happened, but I need to find the balance again.

1020
00:47:45,640 --> 00:47:49,120
Speaker 2: Well, we're not you know, we're thirty something year old women.

1021
00:47:49,280 --> 00:47:52,160
Speaker 2: You know, we're not like in high school. Like we've said,

1022
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:55,080
Speaker 2: we have other things going on. We have children, we

1023
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:59,320
Speaker 2: have friendships, we have businesses, and those things need tending

1024
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:01,879
Speaker 2: to too. So it's just like you know, doing relationships

1025
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:10,320
Speaker 2: with the adult style, attempting to be adults again. Anyway,

1026
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 2: I feel thirty two.

1027
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,920
Speaker 4: Okay, I'm thirty two. I've seen my boyfriend on the weekend.

1028
00:48:16,040 --> 00:48:21,400
Speaker 2: Ooh, oh my god.

1029
00:48:21,480 --> 00:48:24,319
Speaker 4: So stupid. Not my boyfriend, Just.

1030
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: Kidding, m hm.

1031
00:48:27,480 --> 00:48:31,960
Speaker 4: Anyway, anyway, do you have any horries?

1032
00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:35,880
Speaker 2: Somebody asked, are horries done because Erica has a boyfriend?

1033
00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:40,960
Speaker 2: I said, bitch, so, oh my god, speaking of horries,

1034
00:48:41,000 --> 00:48:45,759
Speaker 2: you guys, if you haven't listened, you should go back

1035
00:48:45,760 --> 00:48:47,239
Speaker 2: and listen to Paid.

1036
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 1: Sex, Strange Sex, Paid Sex with Wheezy for hormal Decisions.

1037
00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:54,200
Speaker 2: Because I don't know what came up. I don't think

1038
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:58,799
Speaker 2: my adventure Bay has listened to the podcast yet, but

1039
00:48:59,000 --> 00:49:01,680
Speaker 2: I was like, let me do. I was like, it's

1040
00:49:01,680 --> 00:49:03,480
Speaker 2: only a matter of time, right, So, like, I don't

1041
00:49:03,480 --> 00:49:06,080
Speaker 2: know what came up. He admitted to some shit he

1042
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:07,520
Speaker 2: had paid for some pussy or something. He had made

1043
00:49:07,520 --> 00:49:09,600
Speaker 2: a ground tender or something and.

1044
00:49:09,560 --> 00:49:10,600
Speaker 1: Paid for it off tender.

1045
00:49:10,760 --> 00:49:12,480
Speaker 2: Well, he thought it was a date, and then in

1046
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:14,360
Speaker 2: the date she was basically like, okay, well you know

1047
00:49:14,400 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 2: this is my intention. Okay. First of all, I meture

1048
00:49:16,239 --> 00:49:20,319
Speaker 2: Bay is a fucking he's a fucking angel. He was like,

1049
00:49:20,480 --> 00:49:21,640
Speaker 2: he's like, you know, we were on Monday and then

1050
00:49:21,680 --> 00:49:23,640
Speaker 2: went again. She kind of laid down and tell me

1051
00:49:23,640 --> 00:49:25,600
Speaker 2: what she you know, what heard what the game was,

1052
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:28,319
Speaker 2: and you know, I thought she was a really cool girl.

1053
00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:30,799
Speaker 2: And it's a hard time. It was hard times, and

1054
00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:33,440
Speaker 2: people have different ways of making, you know, different hustles,

1055
00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:35,240
Speaker 2: and you know, so I gave her the money.

1056
00:49:35,680 --> 00:49:37,359
Speaker 1: Oh my god, shut up.

1057
00:49:37,560 --> 00:49:39,600
Speaker 2: I said, you were a fucking angel. And he's like,

1058
00:49:39,680 --> 00:49:41,600
Speaker 2: she was nice. I tried to date her. I was like,

1059
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:43,240
Speaker 2: you were an angel, He's like, But then I realized

1060
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:43,960
Speaker 2: she was kind of get.

1061
00:49:43,880 --> 00:49:45,640
Speaker 4: Out what anyway?

1062
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,359
Speaker 2: So I felt that I should tell him about my

1063
00:49:48,360 --> 00:49:49,560
Speaker 2: paid sex. Oh you told it?

1064
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:50,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh my god.

1065
00:49:50,920 --> 00:49:52,600
Speaker 2: I was like, well, I just don't want I'm like,

1066
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:53,640
Speaker 2: let me tell you the story.

1067
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:57,759
Speaker 4: Once upon a time episode pa change sex.

1068
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 2: I told him about this, you know, incident where I

1069
00:50:00,680 --> 00:50:03,640
Speaker 2: accepted money for sex and very many many moons ago,

1070
00:50:03,920 --> 00:50:07,640
Speaker 2: and that it was actually a really nice experience. And

1071
00:50:07,880 --> 00:50:11,760
Speaker 2: he was just like, yeah, whatever, like you know, laughed

1072
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,239
Speaker 2: it off, like whatever. But I just like, I don't

1073
00:50:14,280 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 2: ever want you to be in a position where someone

1074
00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,920
Speaker 2: else has listened and tells you some shit about me

1075
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:20,360
Speaker 2: and you have no fucking clue.

1076
00:50:20,480 --> 00:50:22,960
Speaker 1: You know. It's so funny that you did that because

1077
00:50:23,160 --> 00:50:26,799
Speaker 1: I shared something with Poetry Bay yesterday that was like

1078
00:50:26,840 --> 00:50:30,720
Speaker 1: really personal because when I've talked about it on another episode,

1079
00:50:30,719 --> 00:50:34,000
Speaker 1: which I think was like which one was it? Like

1080
00:50:34,640 --> 00:50:35,680
Speaker 1: I said, no, motherfucker.

1081
00:50:36,280 --> 00:50:37,120
Speaker 4: Oh yeah.

1082
00:50:37,160 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 1: And we drove by this hotel that I always get

1083
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:43,359
Speaker 1: triggered by in the valley every time I drive by it,

1084
00:50:43,440 --> 00:50:46,040
Speaker 1: like I get flashbacks. And we had driven by it

1085
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:49,200
Speaker 1: yesterday and it was like out then the outside it

1086
00:50:49,239 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: so like the best fried chicken in town, and I

1087
00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:53,600
Speaker 1: was like at the best Western Oh yeah, I saw that,

1088
00:50:54,440 --> 00:50:56,440
Speaker 1: you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, And like I

1089
00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,440
Speaker 1: thought about telling him and I was like embarrassed, and

1090
00:50:58,480 --> 00:50:59,880
Speaker 1: I was like I don't want to tell him about this.

1091
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: And then like he told me. We were we were

1092
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:04,399
Speaker 1: on a walk and he's like, man, I really want

1093
00:51:04,520 --> 00:51:06,719
Speaker 1: I do want some fried chicken. And then I like

1094
00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:07,799
Speaker 1: started talking.

1095
00:51:09,040 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 2: Not there, no, he was just saying in general.

1096
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:12,800
Speaker 1: And I was we go back to that place and

1097
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 1: then he was like huh, and I was like, actually,

1098
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:19,759
Speaker 1: that place is really holds a lot of like when

1099
00:51:19,760 --> 00:51:22,879
Speaker 1: I drive by that place, I it takes me back

1100
00:51:22,880 --> 00:51:25,120
Speaker 1: to a really fucked up time. And he and I

1101
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:26,840
Speaker 1: almost didn't tell Like, he was like, we're gonna tell me,

1102
00:51:26,840 --> 00:51:28,960
Speaker 1: and I was like, no, I'm not.

1103
00:51:29,080 --> 00:51:29,799
Speaker 2: And it's so weird that.

1104
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:31,799
Speaker 4: Really not it's not even your doing.

1105
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:35,200
Speaker 1: I know it's not my doing, but it's embarrassing. It's

1106
00:51:35,280 --> 00:51:38,040
Speaker 1: more so like I I feel embarrassed that I allowed

1107
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 1: it to happen. Because I allowed it to happen, you know,

1108
00:51:41,160 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 1: yeah whatever, you go listen to the episode. You don't

1109
00:51:44,080 --> 00:51:47,520
Speaker 1: know what I'm talking about. But but sharing that with him,

1110
00:51:47,560 --> 00:51:49,040
Speaker 1: like I felt like, oh my god, Like I know

1111
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,200
Speaker 1: he wasn't gonna judge me. But I've never told a

1112
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:53,320
Speaker 1: man that i've dated that. I've never told anyone that

1113
00:51:53,520 --> 00:51:55,919
Speaker 1: because I felt like it makes me look weak. Yeah,

1114
00:51:56,320 --> 00:51:59,719
Speaker 1: I mean I but inevitably everyone who's listened to our

1115
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:03,080
Speaker 1: pod know that story about me, and so I'm like,

1116
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 1: I might as well just tell him because he does listen,

1117
00:52:07,239 --> 00:52:10,040
Speaker 1: and you know, it's just I don't know.

1118
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 2: I yeah, I think I even I also mentioned my

1119
00:52:14,600 --> 00:52:17,400
Speaker 2: two three way kisses in New York, and I was

1120
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:21,439
Speaker 2: just like that was hell it out.

1121
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:25,840
Speaker 1: I mean that was fun that I love watching it.

1122
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:29,120
Speaker 4: I mean, yeah, I just.

1123
00:52:29,400 --> 00:52:34,200
Speaker 2: I've been really okay. I've had a bad habit being

1124
00:52:34,239 --> 00:52:37,960
Speaker 2: super blatantly hardcore honest in a dating situation, because I

1125
00:52:37,960 --> 00:52:40,759
Speaker 2: feel like that was my defense mechanism. Like if I'm

1126
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,680
Speaker 2: blatantly honest to people, then like I don't have to

1127
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:45,839
Speaker 2: worry about taking it there because then they won't really

1128
00:52:45,880 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 2: like see me that way. But also, like I realized

1129
00:52:50,280 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 2: what I do is when I really start developing feeling

1130
00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:55,040
Speaker 2: for someone, I start to like pull the back well

1131
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 2: in honesty because it's too honest and it's too crazy

1132
00:52:57,719 --> 00:52:59,600
Speaker 2: because I'm crazy. And then I'm like, I.

1133
00:52:59,600 --> 00:53:01,480
Speaker 4: Don't want to do that in this relationship.

1134
00:53:01,520 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 2: I don't want to like start really getting feelings for

1135
00:53:04,080 --> 00:53:06,640
Speaker 2: someone and then start like altering the truth or not

1136
00:53:06,680 --> 00:53:09,719
Speaker 2: being completely honest because I'm scared of what that how

1137
00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,200
Speaker 2: you're gonna look at me. I want to feel safe

1138
00:53:12,200 --> 00:53:14,080
Speaker 2: in telling you, and I want to continue to do

1139
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:16,960
Speaker 2: that even if it's uncomfortable, because what's the worst you're

1140
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:19,240
Speaker 2: gonna do? Like I've had a life before you, and again.

1141
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:22,000
Speaker 1: Right right, I'm not perfect, you know? So right?

1142
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:23,600
Speaker 5: This is it?

1143
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:27,160
Speaker 1: So do we have horries? Did we ever? Even? People

1144
00:53:27,160 --> 00:53:27,879
Speaker 1: have submitted some.

1145
00:53:28,239 --> 00:53:35,440
Speaker 2: Where is our hories file? So many? Here? You guys,

1146
00:53:35,520 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 2: I just want to give a shout out to May Tarini,

1147
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:43,760
Speaker 2: to our team for holding us down because we got help, y'all,

1148
00:53:43,840 --> 00:53:48,480
Speaker 2: and we're so fucking lucky because yeah, honestly, we can't

1149
00:53:48,480 --> 00:53:59,080
Speaker 2: do it alone. Okay, So now it's time for horror stories, stories,

1150
00:53:59,680 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 2: horse story, hashtag, three a kiss hashtag, Mama unicorn O

1151
00:54:04,120 --> 00:54:06,600
Speaker 2: Mama Unicorn. Okay, so I'm going to make this as

1152
00:54:06,600 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 2: short and sweet as possible. So I'm in this mom

1153
00:54:08,719 --> 00:54:11,800
Speaker 2: group on Facebook. It's already good for cannabis positive melan

1154
00:54:11,840 --> 00:54:13,680
Speaker 2: and mothers in this group. Okay, can you add us?

1155
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,520
Speaker 2: There are several other side group chats to promote other

1156
00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:19,319
Speaker 2: causes as well. Every Friday and Saturday, there's a group

1157
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:23,680
Speaker 2: chat where we members of the secret group post nudes, selfies, stories,

1158
00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:26,279
Speaker 2: and whatever else we feel sexy we feel sexy about

1159
00:54:26,320 --> 00:54:28,560
Speaker 2: in order to get maybe approval before we need it,

1160
00:54:28,600 --> 00:54:30,799
Speaker 2: to need it, to send to Bay or maybe to

1161
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:33,600
Speaker 2: just because we are proud of the photo. So never

1162
00:54:33,719 --> 00:54:36,720
Speaker 2: in my life have I been with a woman before,

1163
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:40,200
Speaker 2: but I could definitely say I've always appreciated the woman's body. Well,

1164
00:54:40,239 --> 00:54:42,360
Speaker 2: there is this one girl in the group who happens

1165
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:44,600
Speaker 2: to be my friend from my hometown, but we both

1166
00:54:44,680 --> 00:54:47,840
Speaker 2: now live here in Atlanta, whom I've found myself constantly

1167
00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:50,320
Speaker 2: flirting with, and I can just definitely tell she was

1168
00:54:50,360 --> 00:54:54,520
Speaker 2: feeling me. Long story short, After like a year of

1169
00:54:54,520 --> 00:54:57,440
Speaker 2: online flirting, we finally link up. I went over to

1170
00:54:57,480 --> 00:55:00,120
Speaker 2: her house and she had cooked her man and I dinner. Ok.

1171
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:05,440
Speaker 2: M sexing delicious by the way. After we ate, we

1172
00:55:05,480 --> 00:55:07,560
Speaker 2: went to the living room to play Dranka Jinga with

1173
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:10,439
Speaker 2: a bottle of tequila and Hella blunts of course fun.

1174
00:55:11,000 --> 00:55:14,440
Speaker 2: Finally the bottle is finished, finished, conversation between the three

1175
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:17,799
Speaker 2: of us was flowing, just vibing perfectly. Finally, her man

1176
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 2: gets up and runs to the bathroom for a moment.

1177
00:55:19,719 --> 00:55:21,920
Speaker 2: As he leaves, she looked to me, looked me at

1178
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:25,719
Speaker 2: dead in the eyes with the look of desire, and says, hey,

1179
00:55:25,920 --> 00:55:28,080
Speaker 2: can we talk about that picture you posted earlier in

1180
00:55:28,120 --> 00:55:31,120
Speaker 2: the chat blushing and flirting? I say, what about it?

1181
00:55:31,760 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 2: She then just straight up asked if she could taste it?

1182
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:36,359
Speaker 2: Matter of fact, she said she wants to taste it.

1183
00:55:36,440 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 2: I told her I had never been with the woman before,

1184
00:55:38,920 --> 00:55:41,319
Speaker 2: but fuck it. She then proceeded to say that her

1185
00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:44,439
Speaker 2: man doesn't mind, he could just watch It doesn't matter

1186
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 2: to her. As long as she can taste it, he

1187
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 2: kind of get tasty. Honestly, I need to get to

1188
00:55:50,120 --> 00:55:54,279
Speaker 2: this Facebook group. When tequila is involved. I am very

1189
00:55:54,320 --> 00:55:59,000
Speaker 2: open to suggestions, and since she this is the most.

1190
00:56:01,239 --> 00:56:03,200
Speaker 1: Only went to kill me too.

1191
00:56:03,440 --> 00:56:08,360
Speaker 2: All the suggestions, all the suggestions on tequila. Absolutely tequila

1192
00:56:08,400 --> 00:56:11,920
Speaker 2: will open that mind. And since she suggested to let

1193
00:56:11,920 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 2: me let her eat me out, I said sure, because Tequila.

1194
00:56:15,880 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 2: So we moved to the room and her man puts

1195
00:56:17,760 --> 00:56:20,640
Speaker 2: on a movie as background noise. She wastes no time

1196
00:56:20,640 --> 00:56:22,839
Speaker 2: and began to start making out with me. That wasn't

1197
00:56:22,880 --> 00:56:24,640
Speaker 2: the first time I kissed a girl, so that wasn't

1198
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:28,239
Speaker 2: new territory. However, the kissing definitely turned her man on,

1199
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:31,239
Speaker 2: so he began to start touching us both and hell

1200
00:56:31,320 --> 00:56:33,239
Speaker 2: I was turned on, so I thought to myself, I

1201
00:56:33,280 --> 00:56:35,759
Speaker 2: was just gonna let it go where it goes. The

1202
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:38,799
Speaker 2: two person make out then turned into three. As she's

1203
00:56:38,880 --> 00:56:42,759
Speaker 2: eating me out, he gets he starts giving her backshots. Ooh,

1204
00:56:43,200 --> 00:56:52,120
Speaker 2: and I look at this man is hung Helena. Can

1205
00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:57,000
Speaker 2: you put some Hellelia Now? I'm Hella excited because I

1206
00:56:57,080 --> 00:57:02,719
Speaker 2: know I'm next winky face. This goes on for hours

1207
00:57:02,760 --> 00:57:06,279
Speaker 2: of just endless orgasms for everyone. Needless to say, I

1208
00:57:06,320 --> 00:57:10,120
Speaker 2: will be going over there again now the Facebook meeting

1209
00:57:10,719 --> 00:57:12,920
Speaker 2: side note, I have since spoken with her as she

1210
00:57:13,080 --> 00:57:16,880
Speaker 2: and him have checked up checked up on me every day,

1211
00:57:16,920 --> 00:57:20,600
Speaker 2: making sure I didn't need anything sweet. Oh, that's really nice.

1212
00:57:20,720 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 2: We were talking about our previous dick life, our previous

1213
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:26,080
Speaker 2: dick life, and she explained her theory on how all

1214
00:57:26,240 --> 00:57:30,560
Speaker 2: how all uncircumcised men were extremely big. I don't know

1215
00:57:30,600 --> 00:57:33,160
Speaker 2: if that's true. I scoffed up my nose and told

1216
00:57:33,160 --> 00:57:35,840
Speaker 2: her i'd take her word as I had never been

1217
00:57:35,880 --> 00:57:40,000
Speaker 2: with an uncircumcised man before. She laughed so hard and said, bitch,

1218
00:57:40,080 --> 00:57:42,280
Speaker 2: you were last night I died.

1219
00:57:42,680 --> 00:57:44,520
Speaker 1: She didn't even know she did. Well, that's the thing.

1220
00:57:44,560 --> 00:57:46,000
Speaker 1: When it's hard, it looks the same.

1221
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:49,800
Speaker 2: That was amazing. That was a beautiful story.

1222
00:57:50,320 --> 00:57:52,520
Speaker 1: So send the link to the Facebook group. Me and

1223
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:55,320
Speaker 1: Miela are joining asap because me and my man are

1224
00:57:55,320 --> 00:57:56,200
Speaker 1: trying to have fun too.

1225
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:57,680
Speaker 2: Are you guys trying to find it?

1226
00:57:57,760 --> 00:57:57,920
Speaker 1: Wait?

1227
00:57:57,920 --> 00:58:00,320
Speaker 2: Okay, I have a question the unicorns a third person. Okay,

1228
00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:01,480
Speaker 2: so you guys trying I've only.

1229
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,920
Speaker 1: Ever been a unicorn. I've never been in a relationship

1230
00:58:04,040 --> 00:58:05,360
Speaker 1: and had someone come.

1231
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 2: I'm generally I've generally been in you know, I've only

1232
00:58:07,960 --> 00:58:10,240
Speaker 2: ever been in Unicorn. I've attempted to not be the

1233
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:15,120
Speaker 2: unicorn once and that didn't work out. Yeah, I've been

1234
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:18,080
Speaker 2: discussing opening up the bedroom doors myself, but it's just

1235
00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 2: some pickens because we can't go anywhere. And I told

1236
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 2: them I actually said I need to join field. Is

1237
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 2: that for three ways? Oh my god, I can't wait.

1238
00:58:27,040 --> 00:58:29,680
Speaker 2: She he I told him. Actually he was like, oh, so,

1239
00:58:29,920 --> 00:58:31,240
Speaker 2: like he wanted you really want to do that. I

1240
00:58:31,280 --> 00:58:33,400
Speaker 2: was like, yeah, I'd be open to it. I'm not

1241
00:58:33,560 --> 00:58:35,360
Speaker 2: like trying to have a relationship with a girl, but

1242
00:58:35,360 --> 00:58:38,120
Speaker 2: I don't mind like, you know, playing, And he was like,

1243
00:58:38,160 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 2: so should I find someone? I was like, okay, first

1244
00:58:39,880 --> 00:58:42,600
Speaker 2: but you need to do is go and listen to episode.

1245
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 1: Successful Ways to have a free experience, And rule number

1246
00:58:46,680 --> 00:58:48,440
Speaker 1: one is let the woman choose.

1247
00:58:48,720 --> 00:58:51,520
Speaker 2: I said, you cannot choose. Shit, Okay, you don't even

1248
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:53,320
Speaker 2: make a suggestion. It's like, actually, I kind of want

1249
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:57,720
Speaker 2: to see you would choose, just because I'm curious. But yeah,

1250
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:01,720
Speaker 2: so I'm always here for a fun, loving, respectful threesome.

1251
00:59:01,880 --> 00:59:03,560
Speaker 2: I just think it's you know, it could be it

1252
00:59:03,560 --> 00:59:05,600
Speaker 2: could be a fun night tequila.

1253
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:09,720
Speaker 1: It's like it's like a it's like an enhancement. It's

1254
00:59:09,840 --> 00:59:13,800
Speaker 1: like a human sexd on, like an add on, like

1255
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:15,880
Speaker 1: we add on something in a car wash or a spa.

1256
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:19,920
Speaker 2: Right, Like, just do at the wax, wax those tires.

1257
00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:24,200
Speaker 1: You don't anything else is fine. Everything you can do.

1258
00:59:24,160 --> 00:59:26,280
Speaker 2: The regular maintenance, but sometimes you need a little extra.

1259
00:59:27,320 --> 00:59:30,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, we've been talking about it, and I'm

1260
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 1: ready to not be the unicorn. And actually I don't

1261
00:59:32,560 --> 00:59:36,040
Speaker 1: know what the other I don't know what I'm called now, what's.

1262
00:59:35,520 --> 00:59:43,760
Speaker 2: Like the mom, the mama, corn head, honcho, horse and charge.

1263
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:53,160
Speaker 2: I'm curious. I'm curious to see how a man can

1264
00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:54,000
Speaker 2: handle two women.

1265
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:57,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, it needs a lot of work. It's a special

1266
00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:00,040
Speaker 1: gift and talent as.

1267
01:00:00,000 --> 01:00:01,960
Speaker 2: So me alone is a lot of work. Like I

1268
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:04,240
Speaker 2: can have a lot of sex. I can be like

1269
01:00:05,560 --> 01:00:08,360
Speaker 2: five days, five to seven days a week easily and

1270
01:00:08,600 --> 01:00:09,840
Speaker 2: be totally happy about it.

1271
01:00:10,000 --> 01:00:10,280
Speaker 1: You too.

1272
01:00:10,560 --> 01:00:13,640
Speaker 2: So I'm just like, can you handle me plus another bitch?

1273
01:00:13,640 --> 01:00:17,760
Speaker 2: Because my pussy stays wet, stays ready, stays ready, And

1274
01:00:17,800 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 2: if I bring another bitch in, is that going to

1275
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:20,160
Speaker 2: take away from me?

1276
01:00:20,320 --> 01:00:22,320
Speaker 1: I don't know, Well, that's what you need to check

1277
01:00:22,360 --> 01:00:23,480
Speaker 1: in with yourself.

1278
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:25,480
Speaker 2: You dissect I'm not tired. I'm not tired yet when

1279
01:00:25,480 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 2: I get tired on my tax ah.

1280
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 1: I think it's a matter of safety and how secure

1281
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:32,240
Speaker 1: you feel in the relationship. Don't obviously we've already done

1282
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:34,840
Speaker 1: this episode, and like, don't do it. If you don't,

1283
01:00:34,840 --> 01:00:37,480
Speaker 1: don't do it unless you feel really secure and in

1284
01:00:38,240 --> 01:00:39,640
Speaker 1: where you're going in it. And you guys, are a

1285
01:00:39,680 --> 01:00:42,080
Speaker 1: boyfriend or girlfriend yet but technically whatever the fuck that means.

1286
01:00:42,080 --> 01:00:45,160
Speaker 1: But like, I mean, I just feel like just if

1287
01:00:45,200 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 1: you have any sort of anxieties around the status of

1288
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:49,960
Speaker 1: your relationship, then probably don't you know.

1289
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:52,080
Speaker 2: I mean, I don't I know. I mean, I think

1290
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:53,400
Speaker 2: it will just happen when it happens. I'm not going

1291
01:00:53,440 --> 01:00:56,280
Speaker 2: to go fucking out my way and go assign a

1292
01:00:56,360 --> 01:00:58,520
Speaker 2: friend to this task or now she's like, I don't

1293
01:00:58,600 --> 01:00:59,439
Speaker 2: have any friends, though.

1294
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:02,040
Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like at this point in the game,

1295
01:01:02,080 --> 01:01:03,360
Speaker 1: in the world we live in, we might have to

1296
01:01:03,400 --> 01:01:04,080
Speaker 1: go out of our way.

1297
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,080
Speaker 2: Oh oh my god, I know he did say I

1298
01:01:06,080 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 2: don't want to offend anyone, but I said that I've

1299
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:13,120
Speaker 2: only eaten one white pussy.

1300
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:12,880
Speaker 1: All the white people don't be offended.

1301
01:01:12,920 --> 01:01:18,640
Speaker 2: But and he's and he was like, I've never you haven't.

1302
01:01:19,040 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 2: He was like, well, that that's where I come in.

1303
01:01:21,080 --> 01:01:24,440
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, that could work. Kay of sounds

1304
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:24,960
Speaker 2: like that could work.

1305
01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:25,400
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1306
01:01:25,680 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm not saying I'm apposed to it, just

1307
01:01:27,280 --> 01:01:34,080
Speaker 2: you know, you know, I've only done it once. Yeah

1308
01:01:34,320 --> 01:01:39,000
Speaker 2: for me. Yeah, but the sex is good. This is

1309
01:01:39,040 --> 01:01:43,080
Speaker 2: just a very new place for me. I'm so happy

1310
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:46,160
Speaker 2: that I put girthy big penis on my manifestation list.

1311
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,320
Speaker 2: It was I put it twice, so important. I was like, Wow,

1312
01:01:49,320 --> 01:01:50,000
Speaker 2: I wasn't kidding.

1313
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 1: Hut manifestations are we well anyway, you guys, that's enough

1314
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:59,720
Speaker 1: of our anting. That's enough of our ranting. Make that

1315
01:01:59,760 --> 01:02:03,160
Speaker 1: man infestation list. Whether it's for a man, career, life,

1316
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:06,280
Speaker 1: your kids, whatever, do that shit because it really fucking works.

1317
01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:09,880
Speaker 1: Me and Jamila have done it in so many realms

1318
01:02:09,880 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 1: of our worlds, whether it's with love or even with

1319
01:02:12,840 --> 01:02:16,520
Speaker 1: good moms. And it's a beautiful thing once once you

1320
01:02:16,560 --> 01:02:19,480
Speaker 1: watch it unfold. So I really encourage you guys to

1321
01:02:19,520 --> 01:02:23,080
Speaker 1: do it. Just take the time. Takes ten minutes, maybe longer,

1322
01:02:23,080 --> 01:02:23,840
Speaker 1: because then once you.

1323
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:25,560
Speaker 2: Start writing, you're like, oh goshit, keep going back.

1324
01:02:25,560 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 1: I haven't really thought about this.

1325
01:02:27,320 --> 01:02:29,160
Speaker 2: And even cross reference with your friends because some of

1326
01:02:29,160 --> 01:02:30,800
Speaker 2: the things I didn't think about Erica had and that's

1327
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 2: always nice, Like, oh, you're right, I forgot about that.

1328
01:02:34,160 --> 01:02:35,760
Speaker 2: Actually it should be you should do a party if

1329
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:38,600
Speaker 2: you have like five friends, that would be best. No, sure,

1330
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:42,880
Speaker 2: you don't forget shit. Also, my birthday is on Monday.

1331
01:02:43,160 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 2: Send me nudes and sign up for Patreon. If you

1332
01:02:45,560 --> 01:02:48,080
Speaker 2: want to send me a birthday gift, sign up for Patreon.

1333
01:02:48,200 --> 01:02:51,280
Speaker 2: For us, support us, rate this episode, leave a comment

1334
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:55,080
Speaker 2: if you love us, If you fuck with us, sign

1335
01:02:55,120 --> 01:02:57,400
Speaker 2: up for our newsletter on our website, Good Moms, Bad

1336
01:02:57,520 --> 01:02:59,280
Speaker 2: Choices dot com.

1337
01:02:59,320 --> 01:03:03,920
Speaker 1: And follow us on Instagram at good Mom's Underscore Bad Choices.

1338
01:03:04,040 --> 01:03:07,400
Speaker 2: And also, can you call us and leave us some confessions.

1339
01:03:07,600 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 1: I know you guys have been slacking on the hotline

1340
01:03:12,240 --> 01:03:16,920
Speaker 1: because we've been waiting for some confessionals. Some people have

1341
01:03:17,000 --> 01:03:19,120
Speaker 1: left text messages no, some people have been texting and

1342
01:03:19,160 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 1: asking if it's did you see Someone was like I

1343
01:03:21,400 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 1: just it's just really good moms, and I was like yes,

1344
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:25,600
Speaker 1: and she's like, this doesn't sound like a good mom's response.

1345
01:03:25,640 --> 01:03:26,520
Speaker 1: I was like, bitch, it's me.

1346
01:03:28,200 --> 01:03:29,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, hell yeah.

1347
01:03:30,600 --> 01:03:32,760
Speaker 1: She wrote me back in a text through the Google

1348
01:03:32,920 --> 01:03:35,000
Speaker 1: phone and was like, this doesn't sound like a good

1349
01:03:35,040 --> 01:03:37,800
Speaker 1: mom's response. I was like, bitch, it's me and the

1350
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:39,040
Speaker 1: good how about now.

1351
01:03:39,800 --> 01:03:42,520
Speaker 2: Also, the numbers in our bio, so it's ours eight

1352
01:03:42,600 --> 01:03:46,120
Speaker 2: one a mom, zero one five four. Again that's eight

1353
01:03:46,160 --> 01:03:48,400
Speaker 2: one A mom, zero one five four.

1354
01:03:48,520 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 1: Leave us a message. Don't make it too long because

1355
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,560
Speaker 1: it will cut you off, but confess. Leave a little

1356
01:03:53,560 --> 01:03:58,800
Speaker 1: confession and we'll catch you guys next week. Bye bye,

1357
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:01,479
Speaker 1: Lave

1358
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 2: Suso, Ellen j Solo baa record