Speaker 1: Good.
Speaker 2: All right, break it down.
Speaker 3: If you ever have feelings that you just won'ts ay
Speaker 3: and Cat gotcha covin locking a brother, Ladies and folks,
Speaker 3: do you just follow ann the spirit where it's all
Speaker 3: the front and real stuff to the chill stuff and
Speaker 3: the am But Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can
Speaker 3: do it just stop you feel things. This is feeling
Speaker 3: things with Amy and Cat.
Speaker 2: Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm Amy and I'm Kat,
Speaker 2: And my feeling of the day is anticipation. I am
Speaker 2: full of anticipation because, let me tell you, in about
Speaker 2: two weeks or so, apparently I'm going to be a
Speaker 2: whole new person, whole new in what ways. Well, Marty,
Speaker 2: I'm already halfway there. Yeah, to this new person that
Speaker 2: I'm gonna feel like because I've started my hormone replacement therapy,
Speaker 2: which a lot of it I'm trying to do through food.
Speaker 2: But we got my blood work back and my doctor
Speaker 2: was like, look, I can intervene with some other things
Speaker 2: that are just gonna help kickstart you and sort of
Speaker 2: put you to the front of the line and then
Speaker 2: you can maintain with food. But she's like, it's gonna
Speaker 2: take a minute, and we can be patient and you
Speaker 2: can do that, or I can put a yam based
Speaker 2: rice size pellet into your upper butt hip area and
Speaker 2: it'll slowly release plant based testosterone into your body.
Speaker 1: But it's just like putting a little piece of a
Speaker 1: vegetable inside of.
Speaker 2: Your I guess, so, I mean in layman's terms.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a very saturated piece of vegetable.
Speaker 2: It's slowly releasing. Well, I mean, I don't know that
Speaker 2: it's it's not a piece of vegetable. I do know
Speaker 2: that it is a yam based pellet. Do your own research.
Speaker 2: Do not listen to me on this. But I have
Speaker 2: done testosterone cream in the past, and I do think
Speaker 2: that it helped me. But I told her I didn't
Speaker 2: mind the cream, but she was like, look, they've come
Speaker 2: a long way with the pellets, the type of pellet
Speaker 2: that I use, and how I sort of engineer the
Speaker 2: pellet to work specifically for you and slow release, like
Speaker 2: you're not going to get too much. She's had a
Speaker 2: bad experience with pellets, certain types of pellets in the past,
Speaker 2: but this particular pellet she's all about. And she's a
Speaker 2: guynecologist that also has a pharmaceutical background, So I like
Speaker 2: too that she knows a lot about anything she's prescribing
Speaker 2: for me. And I have the pellet in.
Speaker 1: My butt right now, can you feel it like?
Speaker 2: No? Well, I don't know because I say no just
Speaker 2: moving around and sitting.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 2: But I still have the bandage on it, and I
Speaker 2: get to remove the bandage tonight. So right now, if
Speaker 2: I rub my hand over it, I feel the big, thick,
Speaker 2: padded bandage.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean, can you feel like it's haynes like
Speaker 1: sore or something like when you're sitting down on your butt?
Speaker 1: Does it kind of hurt?
Speaker 2: No? No, it's not tender to the test. She did
Speaker 2: have to numb the area before inserting.
Speaker 1: That's shocking to me because I did see the bandage
Speaker 1: in a This is not to scare anybody, but it
Speaker 1: looks like it would be painful, like.
Speaker 2: There's some blood, just a little bit. And then she's
Speaker 2: just like, I want you to keep this vandage on
Speaker 2: for four days and no plates because she didn't want
Speaker 2: me doing squats while the pellet's still finding it's home.
Speaker 2: I guess because if I crossplat it could like move
Speaker 2: the pellet go somewhere else if they need the pellet
Speaker 2: to settle in right where we put it. So all
Speaker 2: I've been able to do is just walk, no squatting.
Speaker 2: And I was like, hey, don't have to tell me. Darn,
Speaker 2: I guess I can't good love your plot. I do
Speaker 2: love my plates, but I welcome to the break. The break.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I feel like I have pilates pressure because I
Speaker 2: bought a package, and so I feel like I want
Speaker 2: to It's not I don't have pressure to work out
Speaker 2: for my well being.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I got to get my money for you. Like,
Speaker 1: if I go four times a week, that means each
Speaker 1: class is this much money. Yes, done them.
Speaker 2: Before, done the math, and it feels good. So I've
Speaker 2: got the pellet in my bottom that will hopefully get
Speaker 2: me up to a seventy. I need to be like,
Speaker 2: there's different ways to measure testosterone the way she's measuring mine.
Speaker 2: I have ten, and she would like to see most women,
Speaker 2: depending on who they are and their body type structure.
Speaker 2: I don't know heightweight, whatever, anywhere from seventy to two hundred,
Speaker 2: and I'm at ten.
Speaker 1: Oh, so you could be at two hundred and no.
Speaker 2: She doesn't want me to be at two hundred. I
Speaker 2: might grow a beard. I don't think she wants me
Speaker 2: at two hundred.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no. You might not know the answer
Speaker 1: to this, but age wise, is seventy based anything to
Speaker 1: do with your age or is it?
Speaker 2: I think it's just normal female like to feel. When
Speaker 2: I say normal, it's what helps you feel your most normal.
Speaker 2: Because when you're low on testosterone, you are more fatigued.
Speaker 2: No low libido, brain fog.
Speaker 1: So do you have low testosterone when you're pregnant?
Speaker 2: I don't know, because I feel this. I think you are.
Speaker 2: You're growing a human in your body, so brain fog
Speaker 2: and fatigue would make sense. But I actually have never
Speaker 2: been pregnant, so I don't know what hormones are fluctuating.
Speaker 2: And let's be honest, even if I had been pregnant
Speaker 2: and probably wouldn't remember, Yeah, that's fair, I'd be like,
Speaker 2: it's one of those testosterone estrogen for gesturine. So I
Speaker 2: am just over the moon excited about what is in
Speaker 2: store for me once my testosterone gets up to at
Speaker 2: least seventy. I mean, shoot, I might start feeling better
Speaker 2: if I hit fifty. Yeah, because I'm at ten. And
Speaker 2: then I will say when I did the cream and
Speaker 2: this was the different doctor. And the reason why I
Speaker 2: know people measure it differently is because I remember her
Speaker 2: telling me I was like at a three or something,
Speaker 2: and I don't know if it was the same measurement.
Speaker 2: But then I was talking to my friend Gracie the
Speaker 2: other day and she was like, yeah, I'm at like
Speaker 2: a point like I had a decimol And I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: there's no way the measurement's the same because she would
Speaker 2: not have a point like. She wouldn't even be at
Speaker 2: a one. She's at like a point four out of seven.
Speaker 2: That can't be right.
Speaker 1: We need a universal test, yeah, measurement.
Speaker 2: Yeah, So that's where my tea is, my testosterone, my
Speaker 2: iron is really low, and my vitamin D might as well.
Speaker 1: Not exist, which that I feel like is pretty common.
Speaker 2: Very common. Apparently every woman is low in vitamin D,
Speaker 2: so get on that. And the thing is if I
Speaker 2: want my body to produce testosterone and naturally through food,
Speaker 2: so with iron, for example, I'm low on iron, so
Speaker 2: I need to be eating more beef and spinach. However,
Speaker 2: I believe with vitamin D the same with the iron
Speaker 2: and the testosterone. If you're lacking vitamin D, your body's
Speaker 2: not going to do all the things it needs to
Speaker 2: do to produce the iron and the testosterone.
Speaker 1: So yeah, they all play a part.
Speaker 2: So they all play a part. So my pellet is
Speaker 2: just jump starting me and then hopefully I can get
Speaker 2: my body. I keep it in my mind. I'm just
Speaker 2: going to invite you into my mind like right now,
Speaker 2: like just ready on the edge. I'm just ready. Maybe
Speaker 2: because she described it as like a car and there's
Speaker 2: four key things she's looking for, and three of the
Speaker 2: four of my tires are basically flat, So what we're metife.
Speaker 2: So I've got one working tire and then my vitamin D,
Speaker 2: my iron which is also attached to my thyroid and
Speaker 2: my testosterone or flat tires. So I'm get hitting the
Speaker 2: road every day, hitting life, going out into the world
Speaker 2: with one working tire.
Speaker 1: Think about how functional you are.
Speaker 2: That's why I'm full of anticipation.
Speaker 1: Yeah, wouldn't that be you're feeling one hundred percent. I
Speaker 1: feel like I was about to be like a superhuman
Speaker 1: and I could like lift a car or something.
Speaker 2: But also in two weeks, if you feel like I'm
Speaker 2: the same, just don't keep it to yourself.
Speaker 1: I won't say a word but also I wonder if
Speaker 1: you're gonna have this feeling of like, oh, I've been
Speaker 1: doing it this way for so long that I didn't
Speaker 1: need to because you know a lot of times people
Speaker 1: are high achieving because they don't have any other option
Speaker 1: inside their brain, right, Like a lot of people with
Speaker 1: ADHD feel that way. Like I had a doctor one
Speaker 1: time tell me like, well, if you have ADHD, how
Speaker 1: did you get good grades in school? Almost like saying
Speaker 1: I was like making stuff up and it's because emotionally
Speaker 1: and mentally I didn't have a choice. So you just
Speaker 1: like go the extra seventeen thousand miles and run yourself
Speaker 1: into the ground when you realize that it didn't have
Speaker 1: to be that hard. So I wonder if you're going
Speaker 1: to have that feeling of like I've been doing this
Speaker 1: and it didn't need to feel that hard.
Speaker 2: Very excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, well I'm excited too, and I'm going to
Speaker 1: encourage you in your new life journey no matter what
Speaker 1: I see happening.
Speaker 2: Okay, my HRT.
Speaker 1: So two weeks from now, we're going to check it
Speaker 1: ish too. Okay.
Speaker 2: I would like to say, I've got to get some
Speaker 2: iron impulsions. So once the iron gets in me because
Speaker 2: I've already started taking my vitamin D thing, which is
Speaker 2: one capsule. I take it one day a week, So
Speaker 2: every Thursday, I'm gonna be taking my fifty thousand units
Speaker 2: of vitamin D. And then I also need to be
Speaker 2: getting sunlight as well. Yeah, carefully, carefully, responsibly when the
Speaker 2: UV rays are low.
Speaker 1: So are you gonna not wear a hat when you
Speaker 1: go out? Like? W how do you do?
Speaker 2: Not really know my plan yet, but I think I
Speaker 2: can responsibly get a little bit of sun. It's not
Speaker 2: like I have to go out there and peak hours,
Speaker 2: peak tanning hour, say, just be outside. I can go
Speaker 2: morning afternoon and just be out there for a little bit. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: again this is not We're not a medical podcast. Talk
Speaker 2: to your doctor. People are seeing are like, yeah, don't worry,
Speaker 2: we wouldn't take medical advice from you. All good.
Speaker 1: I never thought it was.
Speaker 2: We are mental health minded though. So what's your feeling
Speaker 2: of the day.
Speaker 1: I'm feeling confused for two reasons actually, and both have
Speaker 1: to do with the Internet, because I've just learned on
Speaker 1: another level things are not always what they seem. One
Speaker 1: I tried to put wallpaper up in my powder room
Speaker 1: this weekend because TikTok convinced me that it was really
Speaker 1: simple and easy and I could do it on my own,
Speaker 1: and I have. Honestly, I have no words. But the
Speaker 1: people that are making peel and stick wallpaper content, Are
Speaker 1: you guys lying or am I stupid? It's what I
Speaker 1: want to know.
Speaker 2: I don't know because I've never done it. I personally
Speaker 2: would never put myself in that situation. That sounds like
Speaker 2: a nightmare.
Speaker 1: I mean, the last time I had wallpaper, I hired
Speaker 1: somebody because I was like, yeah, I can't do this.
Speaker 1: But then I kept seeing people do it and showing
Speaker 1: tips and tricks and it looked so easy. And then
Speaker 1: I started doing it and I was like, this is
Speaker 1: not for me, and this will ruin my marriage if
Speaker 1: we continue. So so what are you going to do?
Speaker 1: I'm going to call the lady that my dining room,
Speaker 1: which we want a wallpaper the nursery too, so we'll
Speaker 1: have her come do both. But in the meantime, my
Speaker 1: powder room looks a hot mess because it has like
Speaker 1: one and a half panels of wallpaper. We ripped a
Speaker 1: hole in the wall. The yeah, it's a whole thing.
Speaker 1: So that's one reason I'm confused. The other reason I'm
Speaker 1: confused is I got hit with dry brushing content you're
Speaker 1: familiar with. That's yeah, and I've previously just like swiped
Speaker 1: past that, but like, for some reason it was a
Speaker 1: little interesting to me.
Speaker 2: Maybe now that you're with child.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think because maybe because I can't do
Speaker 1: my vibration plate.
Speaker 2: Oh can you not do that while you're pregnant? I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: I think.
Speaker 2: Shake it around.
Speaker 1: I don't think that would be good for her.
Speaker 2: Wait, speaking of yeah, you know Courtney Cook on Instagram
Speaker 2: Courtney Cook Sweet Potatoes Girl.
Speaker 1: No, but she was making eggs the.
Speaker 2: Other day and she was because you know, she always
Speaker 2: has marinated eggs or whatever, but did you know she
Speaker 2: has twenty five chickens. Like her eggs come from her chickens.
Speaker 2: So she had this big basketful of eggs and she
Speaker 2: said she learned on TikTok that you take a spoon
Speaker 2: to the egg and you sort of crack the membrane
Speaker 2: or something. So before you put them in the water
Speaker 2: to boil, to make hard boiled eggs, you tap it
Speaker 2: with a spoon, tap tap, tap tap, And as you're
Speaker 2: tapping it, it's making one swined like one one swin. Sorry,
Speaker 2: when you're tapping it, it's making one sound like tap
Speaker 2: tap tap, and then it'll go deep like. And then
Speaker 2: when you hear the deep, you know you cracked the membrane.
Speaker 1: Why are we cracking the membrane?
Speaker 2: I don't know, but it made me think you're vibrating
Speaker 2: your baby, baby, And I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, oh, we don't want to we don't want to
Speaker 1: crack the memborine. We don't want to do that.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no. So you can't do you can't release
Speaker 2: your limps that way. So you're curious about releasing it
Speaker 2: through dry brush here.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's where I'm I guess this is coming from.
Speaker 1: So I was watching videos and I'm not familiar with this. Again,
Speaker 1: So if anybody's listening to this and you're like, this
Speaker 1: feels sounds simple and stupid, that's because I am new
Speaker 1: to this club. I bought a dry rush for my
Speaker 1: face and for my body, and this morning I was
Speaker 1: so excited to do it. It hurt.
Speaker 2: I don't think you're supposed to press hard. You're supposed
Speaker 2: to press hard.
Speaker 1: At how hard are you?
Speaker 5: Well?
Speaker 2: I don't know that it should hurt.
Speaker 1: Well and I was like kind of scratching. I think
Speaker 1: on my arm. That's like a little bit like there
Speaker 1: were some like red scratches. Maybe need to go back
Speaker 1: and watch the videos because I the face one was
Speaker 1: really soft.
Speaker 2: Did they have you open up the Big six? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I did the like whatever, But the face one felt
Speaker 1: really good and the face one felt like almost like
Speaker 1: a makeup a stiff makeup rush, you know. But the
Speaker 1: other one, it I was like, I can't, I can't
Speaker 1: go through with this. I couldn't finish it hurt, but like, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm doing it too hard.
Speaker 2: Maybe you will because it is lighter to the touch
Speaker 2: than people would think. Even when you're opening up the
Speaker 2: Big six, you've got when you're working your lymphatic system,
Speaker 2: you want to open up like the exits on the highway.
Speaker 2: It's sort of like if you had a highway with
Speaker 2: no exits and you start to do something like dry
Speaker 2: brushing or getting on your vibration plate, it has nowhere
Speaker 2: to exit, It has nowhere to go, so it just
Speaker 2: that can cause issues. So if you open up like
Speaker 2: under your like by your collarbone, under your ears, under
Speaker 2: your your under arms, which we've got a whole segment
Speaker 2: coming up later.
Speaker 1: I just said armfit. Sorry again.
Speaker 2: I mean, we have some listeners that are just as
Speaker 2: passionate as me when it comes to under arm and
Speaker 2: putting on deodorant in public. So we've got some fun
Speaker 2: voicemails coming up in a minute. But you're under arms
Speaker 2: and then your ab area you're growing or what would
Speaker 2: you call it as growing, and then behind your knees.
Speaker 1: I didn't do the app because I was afraid to.
Speaker 1: I am being so anxious about.
Speaker 2: My I think, touch your son, I know, but I
Speaker 2: was like, I.
Speaker 1: Don't want to, Like maybe it just because I was
Speaker 1: taking my swfl like do it.
Speaker 2: I know that I feel like the way you're talking
Speaker 2: to me, like I'm scared.
Speaker 1: I'm scared to brush my stomach. But now it's making
Speaker 1: sense that like I was doing it way too hard
Speaker 1: that it's but in my head, I'm like, how is
Speaker 1: this doing anything if I'm not like putting pressure on
Speaker 1: my skin.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that that's the misconception. Even with the
Speaker 2: vibration plate, I've heard from multiple experts keep it on
Speaker 2: a low level and don't do only ten to twenty minutes. Well,
Speaker 2: when I first got it, before I was seeking out
Speaker 2: help from people to know what they're talking about. I'm like, well,
Speaker 2: I need level ten and I'm going to do this
Speaker 2: for thirty minutes. It's counterproductive.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So, and even when you're opening the big six, like
Speaker 2: they say over and over, like it's not a hard pressure,
Speaker 2: like you feel like you might need to press hard
Speaker 2: to open it up, but you don't, like you just
Speaker 2: really need to tep tep tap.
Speaker 1: Okay, well maybe that's the I'm going to try again.
Speaker 2: Pump soft pump. Just you gotta be gentle.
Speaker 1: Do you do the dry brushing?
Speaker 2: No, I've done it in the years past, but oh
Speaker 2: it's been a long long time, like probably a decade
Speaker 2: since I've tried it. And I definitely didn't know about
Speaker 2: opening up my limp system before, so I probably wasn't
Speaker 2: even doing it properly.
Speaker 1: The face one I'm probably gonna keep doing because it
Speaker 1: feels good.
Speaker 2: It's so this sort of stuff can be overwhelming.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's just like another thing in my schedule.
Speaker 1: So I'm going to do when it feels appropriate and
Speaker 1: when I have the time. But I'm not going to
Speaker 1: get too stuck on it, and I'm going to work
Speaker 1: on being more gentle. But Why don't they just give
Speaker 1: you a softer brush.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, well, speaking of I was confused, I'd
Speaker 1: like to follow up on some of your confusion. About
Speaker 1: four or five weeks ago, you said you were confused,
Speaker 1: and you you talk about it later. Yeah, my feeling
Speaker 1: of the day was confused, Yes, and I feel like
Speaker 1: it's now later.
Speaker 2: Yeah, the cow out of the bagh at least I
Speaker 2: talked about it on the Bobby Bone Show. My boyfriend
Speaker 2: and I broke up. My boyfriend and I broke up.
Speaker 2: We were both were just not in a great place.
Speaker 2: It wasn't terrible. We were both having similar feelings of
Speaker 2: that maybe we needed a break or a breakup, and
Speaker 2: that's what I couldn't really figure out. And then we
Speaker 2: decided to break up. And now that cat's out of
Speaker 2: the bag, because well we talked about it on the
Speaker 2: Bobby Bone Show and now I can talk about it
Speaker 2: in more detail here, which I have something in my
Speaker 2: hands right now that led to well my confusion, Like,
Speaker 2: I mean, Kat.
Speaker 1: Are you confused? K I have to say, when I
Speaker 1: saw it, it was confusing.
Speaker 2: Oh the price tag is on the bottom. Oh no, yeah,
Speaker 2: it wasn't don't worry. It's not Unclaire, Okay, Yeah, was
Speaker 2: like that must have been unclearance.
Speaker 1: It still could have been on a clearance shelf. We
Speaker 1: don't know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. I think that this to me,
Speaker 2: which I'll tell y'all what it is. I'm holding a
Speaker 2: coffee mug that was bought at a little store conveniently
Speaker 2: located next to a coffee shop that we had gone to,
Speaker 2: which makes me think we just got coffee and then
Speaker 2: he ran into the shop to grab a Valentine's gift
Speaker 2: really quick?
Speaker 1: Was it the day? Was it Valentine's Day?
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, that day? And then so I saw him
Speaker 2: and there was nothing, which I think is an indicator
Speaker 2: that like, it's just not a priority. And I think
Speaker 2: we were both feeling blab and he had been traveling
Speaker 2: that week.
Speaker 1: I get it. Well, clarify this. You saw him earlier
Speaker 1: and he didn't have anything for you. No, it was
Speaker 1: be a hike.
Speaker 2: And then after the hike we went to get coffee.
Speaker 2: And then after coffee, I got in my car and left,
Speaker 2: and I guess he pretended to get in his car,
Speaker 2: and then he got out and must have gone in
Speaker 2: and bought the coffee.
Speaker 1: Mug that I had to be clear.
Speaker 2: I like coffee mugs. Yeah, okay, so, like I was
Speaker 2: thinking about it, I have some coffee mugs that I've
Speaker 2: had for years from friends. My friend Gracie got me
Speaker 2: this cute little a I love it. It's from Anthropology.
Speaker 2: I use it all the time.
Speaker 1: You've gotten so cute. You got me four coffee mugs, yes,
Speaker 1: and they're my favorite.
Speaker 2: Coffee mugs can be a great gift. Claire got me
Speaker 2: one with a piece of toast on it that talks
Speaker 2: about toast. You know how I went through my big toast.
Speaker 2: I still love toast, but I had a season where
Speaker 2: I was eating toast multiple times a day, all different
Speaker 2: types of toast salty sweet, Yeah, savory, salty and sweet
Speaker 2: at the same time. Like I was obsessed with toast.
Speaker 2: So she got me this toast smug that was really
Speaker 2: funny and cute. And then Claire also got me another
Speaker 2: mug that says cat person. It has got these little
Speaker 2: cat heads on it. And then Ali fallon Once got
Speaker 2: me a mug and maybe Gracie was in on it
Speaker 2: with her too, but it's like these two little raccoons
Speaker 2: on a bike and they're it says born to Dilly DELI.
Speaker 1: Like, that's so cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, anyway, I'm not anti coffee mug. Okay, this particular
Speaker 2: mug which I think he was maybe doing his best
Speaker 2: that he could in that moment for where we were
Speaker 2: in our relationship. This is Valentine's Day, not my birthday.
Speaker 2: The mug is pink. And then like, what do you
Speaker 2: call this font?
Speaker 1: Cheogy font chewgee?
Speaker 2: Well to find chew gee because.
Speaker 1: This is a fund It reminds me of like early
Speaker 1: two thousands, Like you know how it used to be
Speaker 1: really popular to have art that had words on it,
Speaker 1: like written stuff like quotes and stuff something you would find. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't want to say, oh yeah nobody.
Speaker 2: Someone might love this mug that and that is okay.
Speaker 1: But it's obviously not your story.
Speaker 2: My thing is my boyfriend whom I love and he
Speaker 2: loves me went into a store and thought she's gonna
Speaker 2: love this.
Speaker 1: Like like, well did I think that? I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know that he was in the place honestly
Speaker 2: to really try to get something that Even our conversation
Speaker 2: before we went to the coffee shop, our walk was
Speaker 2: not a great walk. Yeah, because now I have all
Speaker 2: these feelings because a handwritten note would have meant something
Speaker 2: to me, and we didn't have that exchange. So then
Speaker 2: I'm perplexed. But I get it if you're in sort
Speaker 2: of this weird phase in your relationship. And I remember
Speaker 2: when I was filling out the his Valentine's Day card,
Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't really know what to say because
Speaker 2: in that moment, I wasn't feeling all the warm, fuzzy
Speaker 2: feelings that I normally would feel, so I sort of
Speaker 2: kept it pretty generic. So I get it, That's what
Speaker 2: I'm saying, Like, I get I totally understand how this
Speaker 2: smug happened.
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2: And this smug also led to me being like, we're done.
Speaker 2: It was a sort at this moment, we need a
Speaker 2: break or we're done. I think this is a breakup
Speaker 2: because I can tell he's done. It was almost like
Speaker 2: subconsciously his brain was like, this mug will show her
Speaker 2: you don't care, and I feel horrible. I haven't even
Speaker 2: gotten to really talk to him about the mug, and
Speaker 2: I hope that one day we can talk about the mug,
Speaker 2: but I don't know if there's a reason to if
Speaker 2: we have a reason to talk about the mug. I'll
Speaker 2: bring up the mug because I couldn't have felt less
Speaker 2: known or seen when I was given the mug, because
Speaker 2: I'll now, i'll read to you what the mug says.
Speaker 2: This is Valentine's Day. Okay, you can't improve with age
Speaker 2: if you're already perfect. And it's again pink. It's got
Speaker 2: these blue swirly letters, and so I was like, it's
Speaker 2: Valentine's Day, I'm not turning sixty.
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't make any sense.
Speaker 2: No, And there was also some cute, pink, warm fuzzy socks.
Speaker 2: I have no issues with the socks. Love the socks.
Speaker 2: Give me a pair of fuzzy socks all day long.
Speaker 2: But it was almost like maybe they were a set.
Speaker 2: Was the socks come with the mug? I don't know.
Speaker 1: I wonder like what kept him from just like going
Speaker 1: and picking up a bouquet of flowers from like a
Speaker 1: grocery store, like a lot of men do, Like would
Speaker 1: that have been as.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I guess I have said over time
Speaker 2: that I'm not like the biggest flower person, but I'm trying.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to be or maybe a plant words, yeah,
Speaker 2: but I get that at that moment. I do have
Speaker 2: compassionate understanding for the fact that maybe words would be
Speaker 2: hard at that time, Like if you're at a rocky
Speaker 2: place in your relationship, it's hard to sit down and
Speaker 2: profess your love for someone that you're not vibing with. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I give grace for that part, because yeah, if
Speaker 2: I had like walked back to my car and there
Speaker 2: was maybe a single stem flower, like even in my
Speaker 2: windshield with a little note it was like a heart
Speaker 2: like have to being great something like that, you know,
Speaker 2: And and on our walk I had shared I don't
Speaker 2: want to get too much in the weeds of like
Speaker 2: our very personal stuff. But like we've talked about this
Speaker 2: on this podcast multiple times, my primal question is am
Speaker 2: I wanted? And this mug did not fall into the
Speaker 2: category of me feeling wanted. I felt like it felt convenient,
Speaker 2: like I'm going to run into this little store right
Speaker 2: by the coffee shop and grab the smug. And now
Speaker 2: I feel a little bit catty talking about it here
Speaker 2: with you. It's part of those moments where I'm having
Speaker 2: like regret, like if he were to hear this, but
Speaker 2: I would these are things I would want to say
Speaker 2: to him, and he didn't do anything wrong. I get
Speaker 2: why he bought this mug.
Speaker 1: Well, it's also out of character for him.
Speaker 2: Yes, I get the season or whatever you want to
Speaker 2: call it. The timing of our relationship. This mug makes sense,
Speaker 2: and he was doing the best that he could in
Speaker 2: that moment, and I think that's what it showed me.
Speaker 2: It showed me, Okay, this is where our relationship is
Speaker 2: right now.
Speaker 1: It almost This is going to sound a little weird,
Speaker 1: but I kind of hear this is that you getting
Speaker 1: that gift, even though that's not something you would have
Speaker 1: ever wanted and you did not feel wanted by, it
Speaker 1: was a gift because it helped give you clarity.
Speaker 2: Yes, like you said it, Yeah, a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 2: you had that quote, what.
Speaker 1: Was it someone once gave me a box full of darkness?
Speaker 1: That sounds I found out this too was a gift,
Speaker 1: which that wasn't a box full of darkness, but it
Speaker 1: was like you were like, oh, probably like oh dang it,
Speaker 1: what like this doesn't feel good? And then also having
Speaker 1: that experience is like, oh, this is clarity, Like this
Speaker 1: is he wasn't using his words, but because maybe he
Speaker 1: didn't want to acknowledge them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that he wanted a break too. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 2: last year for Valentine's Dates. Speaking of flowers, I did
Speaker 2: get this massive bouquet. I mean it was the largest
Speaker 2: bouquet of flowers that I maybe have ever received. And
Speaker 2: I got that gold heart necklace that I had I
Speaker 2: think originally sent him. Maybe he was asking for Christmas
Speaker 2: gift ideas and something or maybe my birthday. I don't know,
Speaker 2: but he he had it and he's ordered it and
Speaker 2: surprised me with it. So I got the necklace. So yes,
Speaker 2: when you say this smug is out of character, and
Speaker 2: I would hope that that's what he would see too,
Speaker 2: And I share this as not to be this caddie
Speaker 2: at all. This smug was information, yes, and I shared
Speaker 2: this because oftentimes we are given information and it can
Speaker 2: be very helpful.
Speaker 1: And in different ways. Information is not always words like
Speaker 1: that was. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I have yet to meet a friend in my
Speaker 2: life that isn't perplexed by of the mug. So again,
Speaker 2: it's not about that it's a coffee mug or that
Speaker 2: it's not the price. Words are free, and I can't
Speaker 2: acknowledge that for both of us during that time words
Speaker 2: would have been incredibly difficult. And I don't know what
Speaker 2: will happen from here, but that is where we are.
Speaker 1: How do you feel like you've been since you guys
Speaker 1: broke up, Like, how would you characterize the journey?
Speaker 2: It's been hard? Yeah, yeah, it's been hard. Something was
Speaker 2: just I don't know if it's gonna work. That's the
Speaker 2: best way I can put it, Like just the vibes
Speaker 2: weren't vibing as well as they were. And what's crazy
Speaker 2: is it was so easy for so long, and then
Speaker 2: we just kept hitting some little roadblocks, Which doesn't mean
Speaker 2: I think if if we were married, obviously we would
Speaker 2: really buckle up and commit and go to therapy and
Speaker 2: figure it out. But we also have such busy lives, respectively,
Speaker 2: like between his kids and mine, and I don't know.
Speaker 2: I think we'll have to just well, we made the decision.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I keep talking about it as if well,
Speaker 2: if it is a break, then we'd have to make
Speaker 2: the decision to lean into that so we can get
Speaker 2: some guidance and clarity on how to move forward. Because
Speaker 2: I'm not someone even though I am divorced, that divorce
Speaker 2: did not come lightly and I don't take relationships lightly,
Speaker 2: and I wouldn't end a relationship lightly, but it was
Speaker 2: easier to just Okay, let's go our separate ways here
Speaker 2: for now, because yeah, we weren't married, which is crazy
Speaker 2: because a few months before that we were talking marriage.
Speaker 1: Well, we talked about you getting engaged on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I know I was sending your engage trip because I guess.
Speaker 2: I mean, it is crazy how it can take a turn.
Speaker 2: And I'm also like, whoa, maybe we needed to just
Speaker 2: pump the brakes for a minute. And I've got some
Speaker 2: stuff I can focus on. My life as a way
Speaker 2: more controlled than it's ever been in terms of different
Speaker 2: people having different things going on that you know, can
Speaker 2: be really disruptive. I do have some stuff going on
Speaker 2: that I'm trying to tend to and maybe it's giving
Speaker 2: me space to do that, which I need. And he's
Speaker 2: well aware of that situation and even gave me his
Speaker 2: thoughts on it the other day when I saw him.
Speaker 2: I've seen him a couple of times, even with the breakup,
Speaker 2: and that's been very normal and cool.
Speaker 6: And also hard because and hard yeah, because I leave
Speaker 6: and I'm like, oh, okay, he's a good person, Yes, Yeah,
Speaker 6: he's amazing, which I think that's helpful for people to hear,
Speaker 6: because often you hear of these breakups that are toxic
Speaker 6: or it was very black and white and this one
Speaker 6: person hates the other person, and that's how it is.
Speaker 6: You don't hear as much people talking about the like, oh,
Speaker 6: we really loved each other and we had to make
Speaker 6: this hard decision and because there was this piece that
Speaker 6: wasn't fitting.
Speaker 2: I know, it was like when it happened, we were
Speaker 2: we just hugged and then cried for a while. You
Speaker 2: were like, Okay, I guess this is really happening.
Speaker 1: Yeah. And that's also so I think that there this
Speaker 1: is reminding me of I had a really bad breakup
Speaker 1: once and then the next guy I dated broke up
Speaker 1: with me in the kindest you know, I've never done
Speaker 1: the breaking up, I've told you that, but he broke
Speaker 1: up with me in the kindest, caring Like I remember,
Speaker 1: he came over and we sat in our bed and
Speaker 1: he just the things he said. I just will never forget.
Speaker 1: Where I was like, oh, somebody can break up with
Speaker 1: me and still really think highly of me. And that's
Speaker 1: very helpful because I think a lot of times when
Speaker 1: people and relationships. One person person is asking, well, what's
Speaker 1: wrong with me? Or what do I not have or
Speaker 1: what did I do wrong? And so for you to
Speaker 1: have an experience where nobody did anything wrong.
Speaker 2: Right, No, some of the stuff we were struggling through
Speaker 2: was git real concern type stuff I think, or frustrations
Speaker 2: I guess I don't know how to put it because
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna yeah. It's almost like yeah, for this
Speaker 2: little puzzle. Suddenly it's like, wait a second, what I
Speaker 2: thought this piece went here and it's not fitting and
Speaker 2: we're trying to force it, and should we try to
Speaker 2: force it because we don't have the bandwidth for that.
Speaker 2: We both have a lot going on.
Speaker 1: And you shouldn't have to do that, Like I do
Speaker 1: think there will be a relationship where the pieces do
Speaker 1: just fit and they keep fitting for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I wouldn't say that it's our puzzles like
Speaker 2: out the window, I don't really know for sure.
Speaker 1: And it's just in the box right now.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's in the box, but we'll see you know.
Speaker 2: That's That's what I've learned from this is I don't
Speaker 2: need to rush it. While we were on this trajectory,
Speaker 2: it's like it's okay that it's at a pause right now,
Speaker 2: at least for me to figure out or tend to
Speaker 2: some of the things in my life that need my attention,
Speaker 2: and I can focus on that and also myself and
Speaker 2: then still be present for things in his life as
Speaker 2: they come up or him mine, like with our kids,
Speaker 2: because we're still in communication with them, not a lot.
Speaker 2: It's not excessive or inappropriate, just more like, hey, yeah,
Speaker 2: I'll come to that game or stuff like that.
Speaker 1: You're handling this very well. I do. I've already said
Speaker 1: that to you, but I just feel like this is
Speaker 1: hard and like you said, and you're doing it.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: You're approaching this in a very healthy way.
Speaker 2: I'm trying. I have therapy on Thursday. I cannot wait.
Speaker 1: Every day.
Speaker 2: I'm like waiting for therapy. Which I know earlier I
Speaker 2: said the cats out of the bag because I talked
Speaker 2: about it on the Bobby Bone Show, which it's not
Speaker 2: going to be more long form there when I bring
Speaker 2: it up. But I got curious on where that statement
Speaker 2: cat the cats out of the bag? Do you know
Speaker 2: where that comes from? The cat's out of the back.
Speaker 2: Do you know where that comes from?
Speaker 4: My cat?
Speaker 2: I mean yeah, there's a cat involved, But the origin
Speaker 2: of it is from medieval marketplaces, I guess farmers and traders.
Speaker 2: They would be selling these young pigs in a burlap
Speaker 2: sack or a bag, and there was some dishonest traders
Speaker 2: that would try to cheat shoppers by putting a cat
Speaker 2: in there instead of a pig, and they would just
Speaker 2: take the sack and they wouldn't open the sack till
Speaker 2: they got home. When they opened up the sack, a
Speaker 2: cat would come out instead of a little piglet. Oh,
Speaker 2: and they'd be like, let the cat out of the bag.
Speaker 1: And then what do you do with the cat?
Speaker 2: Well, I don't know if you can go back to
Speaker 2: the market and be like, you tricked.
Speaker 1: Me, this is fraud, this is not a piglet.
Speaker 2: And they'll probably be like, I don't know what you're
Speaker 2: talking about. You bought that bag fair and square.
Speaker 1: I wonder why they wouldn't look in the bag.
Speaker 2: Welly, I think they didn't had no reason maybe to
Speaker 2: not trust.
Speaker 1: They're just like, why are the animals in a bag,
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 2: A burlap sack like a pig. I know, you think
Speaker 2: maybe you'd look in and just check out what the
Speaker 2: piglet looked like, I don't evenway. I just keep saying piglet,
Speaker 2: But I'm imagining it had to be small, a young pig.
Speaker 2: That's probably why I'm saying pilet, pilet, it's a young pig.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, well thanks for teaching us that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, full of those things, you know, little stories, little tidbits,
Speaker 2: basically have them coming out of me. Yeah, we're speaking
Speaker 2: of the word basically. You know, I say that word
Speaker 2: a lot. Probably I misuse it. I say basically literally.
Speaker 1: I don't think you miss used basically. Well, if you do,
Speaker 1: then I miss using it too.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me be fair. I overuse it, Okay, okay,
Speaker 2: I use it when there's no need to use it.
Speaker 1: Weasically do that with certain words.
Speaker 2: Literally, just the word just I was just calling to
Speaker 2: say what I called to say. Oh, or really? You
Speaker 2: know the guy we like, Jefferson Fisher. He's a lawyer, speaker, author.
Speaker 2: I ordered his book, by the way, it's called The
Speaker 2: Next Conversation. I haven't read it yet because I'm still
Speaker 2: reading THEO of Golden.
Speaker 1: I need to get that book.
Speaker 2: Okay, it's really good. I'm on chapter twenty four.
Speaker 1: How far are you?
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm about halfway.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of chapters.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, sometimes to be fair, they're short, like no,
Speaker 2: some are long, but then randomly, you know, chapter twenty
Speaker 2: will be a page.
Speaker 1: Okay, not even I can do that.
Speaker 2: I mean, how do they divide it up?
Speaker 3: Like?
Speaker 1: I mean, it's like it's the end of like a thought.
Speaker 2: I know, but I feel like, well, they're like, how.
Speaker 1: Do you divide chapters?
Speaker 2: I know that, but some of them feel like they
Speaker 2: could flow together, and I'm like, and then there's just
Speaker 2: this one little page for this chapter.
Speaker 1: Maybe they're book quota. They are like, you have to
Speaker 1: have five hundred pages and fifty seven chapters, and so
Speaker 1: you have to like maybe.
Speaker 2: So if you want to sound more assertive, I saw
Speaker 2: this from him, and it's to stop using adverbs in
Speaker 2: your everyday vernacular, like words in an l y. And
Speaker 2: I'm like, well that would go. Now. My conversations are
Speaker 2: ruined because I use those words so much. But you're
Speaker 2: not going to sound assertive. If someone asked me a question,
Speaker 2: you say, oh, well, basically da da da instead of
Speaker 2: just saying d D.
Speaker 1: That makes sense. I was gonna say, this is really hard,
Speaker 1: but in normal conversation with me and you, it's fine.
Speaker 1: But if I'm trying to sound assured of myself and assertive,
Speaker 1: then I want am strong in my convictions. I don't
Speaker 1: want to water it down.
Speaker 2: Like he said, adverbs water down your speech.
Speaker 1: So but that's also I think why sometimes I use
Speaker 1: them because I don't want it to sound too harsh.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why even the world just like think about
Speaker 2: in emails like oh, hey, just reaching out ye, and
Speaker 2: it's like, well, you could just say hi, reaching out
Speaker 2: in regards to blah blah blah, Hey just checking in
Speaker 2: to see if you know, basically you were interested. Basically
Speaker 2: I was wondering you really wanted to do it, but
Speaker 2: I don't know if you're literally big video, it's literally not.
Speaker 2: So shout out Jefferson Fisher because he had some good
Speaker 2: nuggets on Instagram that he was sharing from a podcast
Speaker 2: or something, and they kept popping up in my feed
Speaker 2: and that's what led to me ordering his book.
Speaker 1: I feel like I would I want to read that
Speaker 1: book too. That's when you have to like, I can't
Speaker 1: audible that one. I have to read read it highlight
Speaker 1: highlight and like circle stuff and.
Speaker 2: Have a resources yes, yeah, well all if well.
Speaker 1: An audio at my own because I'm going to write
Speaker 1: in it.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's true. I was gonna say you can
Speaker 2: borrow mine, but now you're talking about and I want
Speaker 2: to keep it, marking it all up and using it
Speaker 2: as I'm sure that it would be a resource too
Speaker 2: for even some of your clients. My therapist has a
Speaker 2: lot of books in her office and you can like
Speaker 2: pull from it if you need.
Speaker 1: I do that, and then I always I'm like, Catherine,
Speaker 1: you need to get a system, because sixty five percent
Speaker 1: of the time I never see those books again.
Speaker 2: Mike D's wife, she let me borrow two books, and
Speaker 2: on the inside cover she got I guess she probably
Speaker 2: ordered on Amazon or somewhere. See how I'm unsure, so
Speaker 2: I don't know, and I say things like I guess
Speaker 2: she basically maybe went literally onto Amazons craziest.
Speaker 1: I didn't register any of those words.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me say this with assertiveness, assertiveness, but I'm
Speaker 2: guessing she went online and ordered these cute library card
Speaker 2: in certain thingies.
Speaker 1: So assertive when you say thingiest in.
Speaker 2: The book that I borrowed, as if she was checking
Speaker 2: it out to me, and I put my name, like
Speaker 2: it said, she says who she's checking it out to
Speaker 2: in the date, Okay, and then I'm going to give
Speaker 2: it back to her. But that makes me more inclined
Speaker 2: to give the books back to her because you's got
Speaker 2: a cute little library card in there.
Speaker 1: Which I get. I love that. I should do that,
Speaker 1: but I need the card in my possession so I
Speaker 1: know who has the book.
Speaker 2: Oh well, you can take a picture of it.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to do that, okay. I just need
Speaker 1: a piece of paper that says this book and then
Speaker 1: the client's name. I think that would solve a lot.
Speaker 2: And also, I believe Jefferson to clarify, he's talking about
Speaker 2: sounding assertive when you need to sound assertive. I don't
Speaker 2: want to sound assertive with my friends, so I will
Speaker 2: talk basically literally.
Speaker 1: Literally literally whenever you want.
Speaker 2: Yeah, basically, I do have habits that make you look unprofessional, though,
Speaker 2: so I could run through those, just so that y'all
Speaker 2: are in the know in case you do any of this.
Speaker 1: I haven't looked at this, but I'm gonna, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: what's the word assume, oh, brain fog. Yeah, I'm going
Speaker 1: to assume I have over half of these because I
Speaker 1: find it very hard for me to feel professional.
Speaker 2: Okay, let me tell you what they are. Okay, and
Speaker 2: you just say check check Okay, talking too much? Check
Speaker 2: ooh you do at work?
Speaker 1: Not at No, not not what I'm not what I'm
Speaker 1: being a therapist. I just mean, like, in general, I
Speaker 1: feel like I talk.
Speaker 2: No habit's making you look unprofessional. So I would assume
Speaker 2: these are work related. Okay, Okay, okay, talking too much,
Speaker 2: responding late to messages.
Speaker 1: Check, you're laughing because you do it too.
Speaker 2: Same saying yes to everything. Uh no, good, You've got
Speaker 2: boundaries over sharing personal information. No, having a messy work space.
Speaker 2: Check what yours is not that messy?
Speaker 6: Uh?
Speaker 1: I wouldn't call it like organized them. Well, it's the
Speaker 1: stuff is shoved in drawers. Okay.
Speaker 2: How about that complaining all the time, No always being late,
Speaker 2: no making excuses for everything.
Speaker 1: No, okay, this made me feel really good about myself.
Speaker 1: We eliminated the.
Speaker 2: Ning poor communication using words like bro, dude an lol,
Speaker 2: swearing I do.
Speaker 1: That at work. It depends with the clan i'm with.
Speaker 1: If they are cursing, then I'm jumping in with so.
Speaker 2: On The Madison, which is a show on Paramount. Plus,
Speaker 2: it's Tyler Sheridan's new show. He did Yellowstone and Lion Ass.
Speaker 2: Michelle Pfeiffer's in it. I've already completed the whole thing.
Speaker 2: I don't want to give too much away, but I
Speaker 2: will say there's a therapist in there and they drink
Speaker 2: during the sessions.
Speaker 6: What.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he's in it's in New York. Obvious, this is
Speaker 2: a TV show, so it's not real. But he went
Speaker 2: to Harvard, you know, has a.
Speaker 1: Wait, how what do you mean he's drinking Like he's
Speaker 1: sending a glass of wine while he's sitting down with
Speaker 1: a client or whiskey. Knew it was gonna be whiskey.
Speaker 1: Is the client drinking?
Speaker 2: Yes, He's like, here, we I normally don't do this,
Speaker 2: but it seems like you're someone where this is what
Speaker 2: we're going to need to do. And he busts out.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you can like be turned in for that.
Speaker 1: I don't think that that's a ethical Okay, I thought
Speaker 1: there's no drinking. I will say people during COVID did
Speaker 1: try to drink during sessions because they were at home
Speaker 1: on zoom. Yeah, and if I saw that, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: we're not doing that.
Speaker 2: I guess you probably weren't on Zoom. Were you on
Speaker 2: like a telehealth portal.
Speaker 1: In the beginning. I think I used just FaceTime because
Speaker 1: it was like new to everybody, so I had to
Speaker 1: make make a waiver and have people sign that it
Speaker 1: was okay, and hippo laws were lenient during that time.
Speaker 1: Facetime's not hip. OUD never use that now, but they
Speaker 1: allowed us to do that because we had no other option.
Speaker 2: So being too noisy, no, no poor hygiene, I hope not. Well,
Speaker 2: speaking of hygiene, we do have some fun messages from people. Well,
Speaker 2: I've got an email and then a couple of voicemails
Speaker 2: in regards to my deodorant situation where I cringe when
Speaker 2: people online put deodorant on, like and they're get ready
Speaker 2: with me videos or whatever.
Speaker 1: Which I was shocked with the response we got because.
Speaker 2: Even more than this, we're just sharing with y' all
Speaker 2: these few.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't know this was such a thing for people.
Speaker 2: So this is from Jackie.
Speaker 1: Hey there.
Speaker 2: I never have emailed a podcast before, but you guys
Speaker 2: are so cute and so funny and so real. Love you.
Speaker 1: Anyway, Amy.
Speaker 2: I also cringe whenever someone is putting on deodorant in
Speaker 2: their posts. I'm like, do I need to see you
Speaker 2: putting on your deodorant? Can't something's just be a given?
Speaker 2: Do we need to see it? Ha ha, so funny
Speaker 2: you even brought it up. I thought I was the
Speaker 2: only one signed Jackie in Pittsburgh. Haha Pittsburgh, because during
Speaker 2: that episode, how we even started talking about the deondorant
Speaker 2: thing was I don't like the word arm pit. I
Speaker 2: prefer under arm.
Speaker 1: I can't let you just said it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm cool, I'm cool, I'm asual, I can do it.
Speaker 2: So that's why she's also like, haha, Pittsburgh.
Speaker 1: Which that is hilarious. Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then we have a voicemail. This is from Sam
Speaker 2: who listens in Boston.
Speaker 4: I'm laughing out loud. I'm listening to the latest episode
Speaker 4: when Amy is talking about how she's grossed out with
Speaker 4: people on camera or just in general putting on dedorant
Speaker 4: in their arms under arms, and I swear every time
Speaker 4: I listen to your podcast, I I think I can't
Speaker 4: believe they also think this way. I feel like I
Speaker 4: was the only one. Amy, You're not alone. I also
Speaker 4: get very gross out or just like shocked when I
Speaker 4: see you know, a vlogger or whomever put on deodorant
Speaker 4: on camera. Even like when I change after the gym.
Speaker 4: At the gym, I always put deodorant on, like in
Speaker 4: the bathroom, not in front of people, because I feel
Speaker 4: it's such a vulnerable task. So yeah, I just wanted
Speaker 4: to share that you guys are not alone or Amy,
Speaker 4: You're not alone on that. Thanks so much, love the podcast.
Speaker 4: Sam calling from Boston.
Speaker 2: Okay, Sam, thank you for that. Yes, it's not just
Speaker 2: in video, it's in person too, Like she's saying, even
Speaker 2: at the gym, she'll go into the bathroom stall to
Speaker 2: put her deodorant on. Because for me, let me explain
Speaker 2: it to you this way, this is what it feels like.
Speaker 2: I don't pee in front of people.
Speaker 1: Well, you're if you were pe in front of people,
Speaker 1: you would be showing your private parts.
Speaker 4: Well you know.
Speaker 2: Serious ways you could maneuver to where you wouldn't really
Speaker 2: see the private parts, and you could have the camera, like.
Speaker 1: You like, getting rid of bodily fluids feels very different
Speaker 1: than you putting on a little little sprits or a
Speaker 1: spray on your underarms. Nope, I don't. I'd like that.
Speaker 1: She used the word vulnerable, like it feels like a
Speaker 1: vulnerable task. I just don't have that experience. But now
Speaker 1: I'm wondering, like, I mean, I don't think that I
Speaker 1: regularly do this. I don't know that I ever put
Speaker 1: theodore on in front of people. But now I'm wondering, like,
Speaker 1: have I in the past, And did I make people comfortable?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: In front of you?
Speaker 2: I don't think so.
Speaker 1: And you were like, oh, gross, Cat, I get out
Speaker 1: of here.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so. And we're close enough to
Speaker 2: where I don't know that it would bother me if
Speaker 2: it's you. But if I'm you know, at the gym
Speaker 2: or in a public place, I'm gonna yeah, go around
Speaker 2: the corner and do it well. Speaking of putting on
Speaker 2: your are in public, our next voicemail is from Gin.
Speaker 2: She's calling from Houston, and that's what she's talking about
Speaker 2: as a teacher.
Speaker 5: Hi, Amy and Kat, this is Jin from Houston, and
Speaker 5: I am calling in regards to that Axila. Where neither
Speaker 5: arm pit or under arms bother me. I've used some booths.
Speaker 5: What does bother me is people putting on deodorant in
Speaker 5: front of you. I am a high school teacher and
Speaker 5: there are some times when students in class will lift
Speaker 5: up their shirt and apply theodorant in the classroom with
Speaker 5: everyone visible. They're visible, so everyone could see myself included,
Speaker 5: and it just seems like you are interrupting an intimate moment.
Speaker 5: There's just something about it. So I'm totally with you
Speaker 5: on that. I don't understand how people do that in public.
Speaker 5: It does give me the creeps a little bit, So
Speaker 5: I'm just sharing that. I feel the same way. Love
Speaker 5: your energy, have the day you need to have. Bye.
Speaker 1: Yeah, two thoughts here. One she moves from the word
Speaker 1: vulnerable to the word intimate. So now this is an intimact.
Speaker 2: I know, Sam thought it was vulnerable and Jen is
Speaker 2: calling it intimate zee, which maybe that's what it is.
Speaker 2: Is we have it in a different category. Yeah, we
Speaker 2: don't have it as folks face lotion and whatnot, but I.
Speaker 1: Have it as face lotion. Yeah. I wouldn't be putting
Speaker 1: face lotion on in the middle of class at school,
Speaker 1: and I wouldn't. It is interesting that these kids are
Speaker 1: just putting deodant on in the middle of class, like, well,
Speaker 1: why would they need to in the middle of class?
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like they're just that's when they're thinking
Speaker 2: of it, and it may not be exactly always in
Speaker 2: the middle of class, but maybe at the start or
Speaker 2: the end when they're going to their next class.
Speaker 1: My son is.
Speaker 2: Fifteen, and while it's tricky because you want your teenagers
Speaker 2: to have good hygiene, yet I think he's over applying.
Speaker 2: He puts on so much all the time, and he's like, Mom,
Speaker 2: it's for the ladies. And he is addicted to this
Speaker 2: old spice.
Speaker 1: I was going to ask, was it like old spice
Speaker 1: or axe or something old spice?
Speaker 2: This one particular scent. I can't remember movies like Fiji
Speaker 2: or something, and it is so strong.
Speaker 1: Wait, I've bought that like flavor shampoo for Patrick.
Speaker 2: Before old spice shampoo or is it? Is it three
Speaker 2: and one where it's body wash, shamboo, a conditioner all
Speaker 2: in one.
Speaker 1: It's definitely a three. He loves three and one.
Speaker 2: Gotta love a good three.
Speaker 1: And I think I got him really nice shampoo and
Speaker 1: conditioner one year for Christmas and he didn't use it,
Speaker 1: and he told me that he just wanted his head
Speaker 1: and shoulders two and mine. And I was like, I
Speaker 1: spent like forty dollars on this, and you want your
Speaker 1: five ninety nine bottle.
Speaker 2: Yep, so I get it Jen from paston. I can
Speaker 2: see how that would bother me because there's probably a
Speaker 2: lot of kids that are doing it. Yeah, my son's
Speaker 2: putting it on all the time.
Speaker 1: If I was a teacher in like math class, I'd
Speaker 1: be like, kids, now, it's not the time for your deodorant.
Speaker 1: Like I wouldn't be grossed out by it, but I
Speaker 1: would be like.
Speaker 2: Why only she's grossed out. She feels like she's watching
Speaker 2: them do something like a more intimate moment. I wanted
Speaker 2: you to go. You need to go to the bathroom
Speaker 2: and put that on.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like it's not disruptive to her, Like, I don't
Speaker 2: picture the kid being like halfway through class wellerant. I
Speaker 2: think it's probably during, you know, like when class is
Speaker 2: rapping or beginning.
Speaker 6: Yeah, like and she's like, oh, I shouldn't be And
Speaker 6: she's like, oh, I feel like I need.
Speaker 2: To turn away. Oh wow, But I'm not alone.
Speaker 1: This helps.
Speaker 2: Thank y'all for sharing all of your thoughts, all of
Speaker 2: you who sent things in, because we had a lot
Speaker 2: of feedback. Sometimes I feel like we can talk about
Speaker 2: something that's really impactful and meaningful, and you know, really
Speaker 2: that was not change, and you know you expect to
Speaker 2: maybe get some feedback from that. Cricket's nothing. You talk
Speaker 2: about flying deodorant on Instagram.
Speaker 1: People like I have something to say.
Speaker 2: People are like, I thought I was alone, And it's
Speaker 2: not really anything I've ever shared before until it just
Speaker 2: naturally came up. I've never talked about Why would I,
Speaker 2: I know, but it's interesting when you say something that
Speaker 2: you've always had these thoughts about and you're like, I
Speaker 2: must be the only one, and then you learn you're not. Yeah,
Speaker 2: feels good, good alone.
Speaker 1: I'm glad you're feeling that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, thanks for the email and the voicemails. We
Speaker 2: normally shared those in couch Talks, but since we had
Speaker 2: talked about the Underarms and the Feeling Things episode last week,
Speaker 2: we thought we would share them here. But you can
Speaker 2: email us or call us. The email is hey, They're
Speaker 2: at Feeling Things podcast dot com. Yes, and the phone
Speaker 2: number is eight seven seven two O seven two O
Speaker 2: seven seven. And we hope whatever you're doing wherever you
Speaker 2: are right now, you are having the day you.
Speaker 1: Need to have. Just wondering where you're going with that.
Speaker 2: Sometimes I want to say, have the day you need
Speaker 2: to have. But I can't always set it up that way.
Speaker 2: I end up having to say having the day you
Speaker 2: need to have.
Speaker 1: I want to say, you could just say, wherever you are,
Speaker 1: we hope that you okay.
Speaker 2: Wherever you are, we hope you have the day you
Speaker 2: need to have. Bye.