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Speaker 1: My mom forces me to celebrate her on my birthday

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Speaker 1: because she's the one that gave birth to me.

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Speaker 2: But this year she's in for a nasty surprise.

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Speaker 3: It's that classic like I brought you into this world,

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Speaker 3: so I'm going to eat your birthday cake.

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Speaker 2: You know I had.

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Speaker 1: I was in labor with you for twelve days. Can

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Speaker 1: I not get one day that is me? One day

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Speaker 1: that's my own? Yes, and preferably it's your day. This

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Speaker 1: is also my day exactly. Now, we got your birthday

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Speaker 1: to be about me exactly that It only makes a perfect.

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Speaker 3: I mean, like, like, who actually went through all the

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Speaker 3: hardship on that day? Me?

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Speaker 1: I should be rewarded every year. Opie just slipped out

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Speaker 1: and was coddled up.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, low key, like you don't do anything for your

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Speaker 3: birth You just get shoved into the world. The mothers,

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Speaker 3: those are the people that really rated.

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Speaker 1: But let's see, so I have three siblings between the

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Speaker 1: ages of ten and eighteen. I'm the oldest child at

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Speaker 1: twenty five. Every year on every single one of our birthdays,

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Speaker 1: works to celebrate my mom as well.

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Speaker 3: Mama's gotta hers.

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Speaker 2: She's got to get her shine, you know what I mean, Honey?

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Speaker 4: Please, I need more attention. Please give me your birthday

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Speaker 4: wishes too.

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Speaker 3: Please.

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Speaker 2: Four birthdays between you and your sivings is not enough,

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Speaker 2: O pie, I need five?

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Speaker 5: Why not five birthdays for me?

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Speaker 4: I want to take your lizard's birthday too, and the

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Speaker 4: dog's bathday.

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Speaker 5: And the mailman. Give me your birthday.

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Speaker 1: Come on, Jeffrey, We've done it since we were all little.

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Speaker 1: It was taught to me as giving thanks for carrying

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Speaker 1: slash giving birth to us.

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Speaker 3: Low key kind of makes sense. I do kind of

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Speaker 3: see where she's coming. I see I see it. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I see it. I think I think, uh, just like,

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Speaker 3: don't tell my mom she's gonna steal on my birthday.

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Speaker 1: My mom's right outside. We gotta start whispering this story.

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Speaker 1: Quick question for the comments and for Sam. Would you

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Speaker 1: be cool with this if your mom was like, Hey,

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Speaker 1: celebrate me in your birthday.

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Speaker 3: Do I have a different day that's my own?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: I have no days that are with no Sam, only days.

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Speaker 3: I think I would. I think I would move. I

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Speaker 3: think you would move. I would get emancipated. Well, I

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Speaker 3: guess I'm already emancipated because I'm a.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think I would like that on my birthday. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: well I think op does too. Now I'm all in

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Speaker 1: for this. I'm grateful as we wouldn't be here without her.

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Speaker 1: True the issue, though, is it became less of our

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Speaker 1: birthday and more so an anniversary for the day that

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Speaker 1: our mom gave birth to us.

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Speaker 3: And here's a picture of me.

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Speaker 4: And here's a little picture of your brother coming out

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Speaker 4: of see that, Harry Old this on either side of

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Speaker 4: your little face.

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Speaker 2: That's me my first contraction when my watcher broke, the

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Speaker 2: second contraction when something else slipped out.

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Speaker 3: Oh boy, this is the moment of conception, all those months.

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Speaker 5: Right down those steps right over there.

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Speaker 1: It's like like every Opie's birthday. It's like, all right, now,

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Speaker 1: let's watch the sex day.

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Speaker 5: We wonder the truthful experience.

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Speaker 4: Now this is the standing sixty nine.

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Speaker 3: They don't teach you that in sex at anymore?

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Speaker 5: Do They never forgets? Just seventies.

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Speaker 2: Imagine from like their first birthday to now, I like

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Speaker 2: that would be an interest.

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Speaker 3: You have a lot of kids. There's a lot of

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Speaker 3: sex safe they have to watch.

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Speaker 2: That's a lot.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot, maybe too much, maybe too much, or

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Speaker 1: maybe not enough.

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Speaker 3: I've just put it on Pornhub. We don't want to

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Speaker 3: watch this anymore.

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Speaker 1: Now as we've gotten older, we are now expected to

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Speaker 1: get her monetary gifts, not our tournaments.

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Speaker 3: Our for your own birthday.

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Speaker 2: Of course, it's my birthday. I need to buy you

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Speaker 2: the president.

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Speaker 3: You're right, you're right, you're right right.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I believe in some I want to say, like

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Speaker 1: Germany or something like that. It's like the person whose

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Speaker 1: birthday it is takes everyone else out and pays for

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Speaker 1: them or something like that.

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Speaker 2: There's some Yeah somewhere, mister Beast.

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Speaker 3: Gave away fifty k for his birthday. I mean.

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Speaker 1: That's like that's like being like, hey, Sam, I dropped

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Speaker 1: a nickel? Do you want it?

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Speaker 3: Like, so you're saying that a nickel to me is

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Speaker 3: ten k to mister beast.

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Speaker 1: I mean if you think about the income he gets. Wow, John,

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Speaker 1: all right, I get it. I'm poor.

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Speaker 3: Way to just dunk on me.

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Speaker 1: Well, I was saying a nickel to me, but no,

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Speaker 1: you it works both ways. Well, I'm insulting us together,

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Speaker 1: not separate.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 1: Now, just recently it was my birthday and I was

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Speaker 1: gifted some much needed clothes and dishwaar for my new apartment.

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Speaker 1: My dad, however, got my mom a new MacBook. My

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Speaker 1: siblings all got her gifts as well, like a new Matok.

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Speaker 2: That's kind of like, you know.

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Speaker 3: Hey, op getting for his birthday or her birthday.

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Speaker 1: You know, like, hey, here's a thirty dollars shirt from Target.

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Speaker 1: Oh hey, here's a three thousand dollars brand new laptop

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Speaker 1: from Apple. But again, you know who had the harder

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Speaker 1: job on that day. Listen, it's undeniable. Yeah, it's undeniable.

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Speaker 3: You literally had the douche. Yeah. Literally, that's all you

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Speaker 3: basically are literally just had to do it when you

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Speaker 3: came out, And that's it.

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Speaker 2: That's it.

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Speaker 3: That's it.

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Speaker 2: Cry and get coddled.

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Speaker 3: Come on, whoa, My god.

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Speaker 1: My youngest brother isn't expected to give much because I

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Speaker 1: think he's literally ten years old. My god, to your

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Speaker 1: ten year old brother, like where hey, where is on

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Speaker 1: my iPad?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Come on Apple? Watch really your father got me a

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Speaker 1: bran new MacBook. You couldn't even spring five hundred dollars

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Speaker 1: you me easily, ten year old.

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Speaker 3: Get a job, Go into the coal mines, get into

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Speaker 3: the factories.

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Speaker 2: Those little fingers to work exactly.

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Speaker 1: Good sew something you can stand on your feet for

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Speaker 1: twelve hours without pain. So come on, all you are.

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Speaker 1: All you need is juice boxes and fruit roll ups.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll pack those in your lunch box. But I

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Speaker 3: expect one hundred dollars bills exactly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Kids are just machines. You feed food and they give

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Speaker 3: you back money, right.

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Speaker 1: I expect, you know, like two dollars, two dollars lunch,

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Speaker 1: one hundred dollars fifty x.

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Speaker 3: R O y oh, yeah, you are an investment vehicle

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Speaker 3: bag of meat.

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Speaker 2: Your new name is r O.

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Speaker 1: I I'm sorry, Eric or Roy for short. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: we can go with Roy, you know, meet you in

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Speaker 1: the middle there. That would actually be a super funny name.

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Speaker 1: That would be great, an investor's kid, Roy but spelled

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Speaker 1: r O. You just like, get a bunch of kids,

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Speaker 1: just throw them in a factory like making I don't know, hats,

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Speaker 1: I don't know whatever these kids do these days, sweeping,

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Speaker 1: sweeping floors, pulling weeds. I think that the kids in

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Speaker 1: the future will just be prompting AI. Oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: make make make make make it a cool design? Yeah

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Speaker 1: price Now. My sister pulled me aside before my birthday

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Speaker 1: and said that she couldn't get me much.

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Speaker 2: She got me a sweater and I do love it,

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Speaker 2: and that she wanted to get me more.

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Speaker 1: But our mom was pressuring her to get a certain

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Speaker 1: necklace for mama.

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Speaker 3: My goodness, that's so messed up.

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Speaker 1: Well, hold on real quick, how much did the mom

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Speaker 1: spend on you're right?

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Speaker 3: You're right, you're right? And then all the years of raised.

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Speaker 1: Like like really, if you think about it, these the

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Speaker 1: mom only gets like a few days of appreciation, right,

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Speaker 1: like Mother's birthday and then your own birthday, right, so

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Speaker 1: like like.

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Speaker 3: A handful of days. But every day she's showering you

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Speaker 3: with food, with shelter, with demands for necklaces.

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Speaker 1: I mean, we could go like an old old story,

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Speaker 1: we could go tit for tat and just receive a

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Speaker 1: seven hundred thousand dollars invoice when you turn into oh yeah, fairness,

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Speaker 1: you know, you know, hey, hey, at least she's keeping

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Speaker 1: the books exactly. Apparently, my mom had been dropping hints

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Speaker 1: for months, and my sister was worried that our mom

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Speaker 1: would be upset and feel underappreciated if she didn't get

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Speaker 1: her the necklace.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. One are these hints is like, oh, my neck

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Speaker 3: is just so free and unadorned with the glitter. I

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Speaker 3: wish there was something from Tiffany's that was that would

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Speaker 3: cost three hundred and twenty dollars and just went on

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Speaker 3: the Fall twenty twenty three collection that would adorn me

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Speaker 3: my neck.

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Speaker 1: Skin has just been aching me lately. I heard platinum

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Speaker 1: is the solution.

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Speaker 3: I only like my skin only loves precious metals, so

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Speaker 3: make sure sure gold, silver, platinum.

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Speaker 1: I'm allergic to bronze. I'm allergic actual like moisturizers and poor. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm allergicry to not do that. Yeah, yeah, could we

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Speaker 1: do the rich thing please?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you? Gee.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And also this is another another little hint. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: look at would you see any rings on these hands?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 3: Yes, because I divorced your father.

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Speaker 1: That's right, because he couldn't get me this. So if

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Speaker 1: you want me to divorce you as my child, yeah yeah,

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Speaker 1: that would be crazy.

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Speaker 2: So I asked how much the necklace was and my

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Speaker 2: sister said it was three hundred dollars.

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Speaker 3: Damn, how much was that sweater like money?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it was the targets she used her target points.

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Speaker 3: Damn, dude, man's getting screwed over.

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Speaker 2: It's not so good.

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Speaker 3: This is not just like, at this point, just renounce

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Speaker 3: your birthday it's not it's not yours, or.

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Speaker 2: Renounce your mother.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, one or the other both cannot exist.

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Speaker 1: Yes, one cannot live on the other survives. Mom is baltimort.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I thought it for some reason. I was thinking, uh,

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Speaker 1: I was thinking Star Wars. But no, it's the same applies,

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Speaker 1: same applies. I think I honestly lost it on our

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Speaker 1: mom and chewed into her. Later that afternoon, when my

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Speaker 1: mom opened up her gifts after me, I think she's

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Speaker 1: ridiculous for wanting my sister to spend so much on

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Speaker 1: a gift. My mom started crying and my dad kicked

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Speaker 1: me out. Sorry Dad, supporting this and what household is

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Speaker 1: this normal?

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Speaker 4: You know?

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Speaker 1: I think this is another situation where it's like, you know,

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Speaker 1: little little puppet daddy, Oh is just being the strings

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Speaker 1: are being pulled. Oh, honey, I'm getting a new MacBook,

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Speaker 1: aren't I?

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Speaker 2: Huh? Yes, dear, I see I see more in your grout,

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Speaker 2: you know, like just.

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Speaker 3: Which toe would you like massage? First?

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Speaker 1: Dear honey, the toothbrush was not enough. I think we

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Speaker 1: need another lick clean on these floors today. I'm so sorry, wife,

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Speaker 1: how how, and then when it's done that it's needed elsewhere,

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Speaker 1: put that tongue to use, sir.

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Speaker 2: Good sir.

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Speaker 1: The dad is Jeeves, like the dad is literally just

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Speaker 1: the butler. Yes, master, yes, master, your tongue is needed, Jeeves.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, low key. Mom is like lick the floor first

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Speaker 3: so you can get those tongue muscles. Nice. What comes next?

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Speaker 1: Do your exercise today, Jeeves, Mama needs some relaxation.

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Speaker 3: MacBook man has just like muscles on his tongue. He

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Speaker 3: just flexes and it boltes.

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Speaker 2: I'm imagining like the I feel like there is a spongenge.

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Speaker 3: He like flexes. There's like a my bicep on his bicep,

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Speaker 3: there's a spongebox. Yeah, And it just says mom on

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Speaker 3: the top because literally the mom needs tattoos to reaffirm

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Speaker 3: that she's being celebrated.

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Speaker 1: Literally exactly Mom written everywhere. Yes, but now my mom

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Speaker 1: is not answering my calls. But my aunt, my mom's

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Speaker 1: sister called me and said I was a piece of

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Speaker 1: crap for not respecting my mother.

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Speaker 3: Her whole family on board with just showering this woman

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Speaker 3: with ridiculous presents all the time. We you know, she

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Speaker 3: the whole family fourteen days of days, fourteen long days

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Speaker 3: and nights a month a month. Yeah sure, yeah, just

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Speaker 3: a round up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, rounding up. We went from fifteen days to thirty.

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Speaker 1: Even was like it goes like, Oh, I was in

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Speaker 1: labor for thirty six hours, labor for two days.

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Speaker 3: I was in labor for a week. I was in

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Speaker 3: labor for for most weeks. I was in labor. I

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Speaker 3: am still in labor to this day, four a year.

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Speaker 3: Ass bro ah, wait, you live.

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Speaker 4: In a moment.

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Speaker 1: I need a MacBook to encourage me to squeeze this

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Speaker 1: last one out.

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Speaker 2: Boys, I need the motivation.

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Speaker 4: Steve Steve, Steve Jobs, come on, inspire me.

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Speaker 2: Different.

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Speaker 1: Woman really just reinvented birthdays. They really did. This is

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Speaker 1: this is incredible? There, this mom is the Steve Jobs

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Speaker 1: of birthday. Yeah you've heard him celebrating yourself, but what

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Speaker 1: about other people?

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Speaker 3: I feel like she's the Christopher Columbus of birthdays. Yes,

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Speaker 3: he was like, oh, oh this land right here. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's India right yeah, and it's mine.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I think this is mine now, I think this is there.

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Speaker 3: This is my little flag right here.

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Speaker 2: Everyone thinks this. Everyone thinks you own this. Oh just kidding,

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Speaker 2: I do I.

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Speaker 3: Do, I do. I sailed all the way from freaking wherever,

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Speaker 3: what Spain where, all the way from Spain to this land,

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Speaker 3: and so I think I deserve it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Also, you'll die of all the disease I brought us. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 3: welcome to chlamydia.

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Speaker 1: Yes, Christopher Clemydia, the bravous Sailor of the Seven Seas

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Speaker 1: aka this mother.

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Speaker 2: I thought I was in the right, but now I'm

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Speaker 2: not sure. It's been over two weeks and my mom

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Speaker 2: won't answer my calls. She's been posting on Facebook inspirational

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Speaker 2: posts about letting go of toxicity in your life, how

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Speaker 2: blood does it equal family? And how hard it is

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Speaker 2: to be a mother?

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Speaker 3: Yikes, yikes.

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Speaker 1: Several family members, my aunt, grandma, uncle, and two of

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Speaker 1: my cousins are applying to these posts and are very

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Speaker 1: obviously directing vague comments at me about me being a

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Speaker 1: horrible daughter.

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Speaker 4: What, how?

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Speaker 3: How the mom must be? All right? All right?

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Speaker 1: I have thoughts, but yeah, let's finish it. We're close

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Speaker 1: to the finish line here. I don't know what to

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Speaker 1: think now, because of how many people are on her side.

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Speaker 2: There's a quick at it. Thank you all for your feedback.

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Speaker 1: I think it's really an eye opener, and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to try to find a therapist and unload all of

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Speaker 1: this effort. Ladies and gentlemen, we have reached the point

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Speaker 1: where we have to ask you, is the mom the

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Speaker 1: a hole for demanding the birthday celebrated, or is potentially

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Speaker 1: op the a hole for blowing up? Say, and we

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Speaker 1: have some thoughts for us.

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Speaker 3: Okay, this mom is a master manipulator. If you can

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Speaker 3: convince your whole family to use your birthday to celebrate her,

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Speaker 3: then you can also convince your whole family extended family

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Speaker 3: that your daughter is an asshole. So I think this

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Speaker 3: mom just is is the puppeteer, just puppeting everyone and

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Speaker 3: in her in her realm, and the daughter God forbid

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Speaker 3: has like exited the matrix and sees how crazy this is. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and now she's being renounced.

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Speaker 2: I have a quick conspiracy theory.

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Speaker 1: All of the people that are turning against her majority parents.

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Speaker 1: So what if she's convinced all the parents of the

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Speaker 1: family like, hey, a Ponzi scheme of children's birthdays. If

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Speaker 1: you buy into this, you will also get to take

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Speaker 1: your children's birthdays. You know, you'll be showered with gifts

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Speaker 1: by all the people that you've birthed in married like,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of a good scheme, brilliant.

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Speaker 3: It's brilliant, but also incredibly toxic. So yes, I actually

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Speaker 3: think blessing in disguise, you know, be a couple hundred

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Speaker 3: dollars richer, a couple thousand dollars richer a year, and

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Speaker 3: don't see your mom anymore.

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Speaker 2: Don't wow? Just so straight?

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Speaker 3: I mean, way she cut you out first, Maybe she

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Speaker 3: gives you a gift, and then you can make here

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Speaker 3: we go, and then you can take that as a

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Speaker 3: sign that you can her.

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Speaker 2: A birthday just for surprise for herself. That actually would

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Speaker 2: be a sweet gesture.

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Speaker 3: I think, yeah, yeah, a surprise birthday. And then it's

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Speaker 3: like happy birthday, Op. And then she ripped Op off

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Speaker 3: and it's like, no.

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Speaker 1: Everyone celebrate me now, gotcha brank practical jokers exactly.

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Speaker 3: But what do you think? Do you think the mom

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Speaker 3: was in the right for taking everyone's birthdays? Do you

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Speaker 3: think Op was in the right for saying, hey, no,

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Speaker 3: that's ridiculous. Let us know the comments below. We love you,

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Speaker 3: we miss you, we want to earth you and steal

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Speaker 3: your birthdays, and we'll see you soon.

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Speaker 2: Love you