WEBVTT - Women’s History Month with Aida Rodriguez 0:00:05.720 --> 0:00:08.280 Welcome, Welcome, Everyone was good, was popping. It's your girl 0:00:08.320 --> 0:00:11.920 a mad You already know this is exactly a mata 0:00:12.039 --> 0:00:15.360 you guys hear us every Thursday here on my Heart. 0:00:15.520 --> 0:00:18.079 I am so excited as usual to bring you a 0:00:18.079 --> 0:00:22.919 new episode, new content. You know, some episodes is a 0:00:22.920 --> 0:00:25.560 little bit more fun than others, and others are more 0:00:25.720 --> 0:00:29.600 educational than others, and others are more motivational and empowering 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:32.080 than others. But with that being said, I want to 0:00:32.080 --> 0:00:35.519 thank you guys and invite you to continue to download 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:39.559 and subscribe. Um and obviously give us those five stars, 0:00:39.680 --> 0:00:41.960 gang Gang, give us those five stars because you already 0:00:41.960 --> 0:00:44.280 know that this show keeps getting better. I always go 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:46.840 and review the comments, so if you have anything to say, 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:48.880 whether it's good or bad, I'm always there to check 0:00:48.920 --> 0:00:51.280 it out. So make sure to leave your review because 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:55.480 I'll be checking them. With that being said, let's get 0:00:55.640 --> 0:01:01.520 right to it. Today we're selling reading women. It's Women's 0:01:01.600 --> 0:01:05.560 History Month and we're celebrating Latina's who helped pave the 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:08.880 road for all of us, for women like myself. Um, 0:01:08.959 --> 0:01:11.840 and then not just for myself, but just say than 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:23.800 to hint them motival Sin speed it doesn't matter that 0:01:23.880 --> 0:01:26.440 gets it, doesn't matter what country they're from, just the 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:29.400 fact that they're Latina's alone. Just come okay, I don't 0:01:29.400 --> 0:01:33.119 know me, Yes when I see a strong, powerful woman 0:01:33.160 --> 0:01:36.440 that knows what she's talking about. And that's why today 0:01:36.480 --> 0:01:40.600 I am so excited to have my guests. She has 0:01:40.640 --> 0:01:44.240 her own comedy special on HBO MASS called Fighting Words. 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:48.840 We've done so many events, podcasts and things together. Gayl 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:50.680 was like me, at the end of the day one 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:52.680 you have to come to my podcast and too, I 0:01:52.720 --> 0:01:55.040 feel like we might as well continue to work together, 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:59.000 continue to unite forces, to break more barriers and and 0:01:59.000 --> 0:02:01.480 and pay more a past for other people that you 0:02:01.520 --> 0:02:06.360 know are inspired by us at La latinas whom. With 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:09.760 that being said, her name is II That Rodriguez. Welcome 0:02:09.800 --> 0:02:12.640 to the show. Thank you so much for joining me today, 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:17.960 Thank you for having me, and congratulations on your blessing. 0:02:18.120 --> 0:02:26.040 Thank you congratulations. As before we really get into all 0:02:26.040 --> 0:02:27.800 the questions of all the great things that you're doing, 0:02:28.360 --> 0:02:31.799 I really want to know, do you know how much 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:36.160 you really inspire and motivate people around the world with 0:02:36.160 --> 0:02:40.480 with with your your comedy, with the what you represent 0:02:41.040 --> 0:02:43.919 with your words. Do you really have your process, how 0:02:43.919 --> 0:02:47.399 impactful you really are? No, because I have imposter syndrome 0:02:47.440 --> 0:02:50.359 and I struggle with self esteem issues from a lot 0:02:50.360 --> 0:02:52.440 of stuff that I'm working through. I'm working on. I'm 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:55.600 doing the work, as they say. But then I'll get 0:02:55.639 --> 0:02:58.079 an email, you know, or I'll get a d M 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:02.400 and someone saying, you know, you have no idea what 0:03:02.480 --> 0:03:05.600 you mean to me, and it really really, uh, it 0:03:05.760 --> 0:03:09.520 just redirects my perspective because you know, this business is 0:03:09.560 --> 0:03:12.400 filled with so much negativity and a lot of people 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:15.240 we tend to focus on it a lot and we 0:03:15.320 --> 0:03:19.000 overlook the positivity. You know. Sometimes we let all that 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:21.920 stuff get to us and we forget to celebrate our wins. 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.800 So I'm working on that. Thank you for asking me that, 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:28.000 because that that is something that I'm currently working Yes, 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:30.840 for sure. Like and I can totally understand where you're 0:03:30.840 --> 0:03:32.360 you know where you're coming from because it happens to 0:03:32.360 --> 0:03:35.360 me sometimes. But um, it's funny because you know, when 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:37.839 people look up to me, I'm like, oh my god, 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:40.000 it's just me, Like, you know, I see me like regularly, 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:42.200 what are you talking about? Hell? Here? Great? Whatever? But 0:03:42.280 --> 0:03:44.200 then I feel the same way when I look at you. 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:48.960 So now I understand you know that feeling of like yo, um, 0:03:49.600 --> 0:03:53.760 like better between one thing and the other. Knowing that 0:03:53.840 --> 0:03:56.640 you're a strong You're a strong woman. You have your 0:03:56.760 --> 0:04:00.000 very vocal um. You're not afraid to say how you feel, 0:04:00.080 --> 0:04:02.440 on what you feel, and stand up for what you believe. 0:04:02.840 --> 0:04:05.000 How was it for you to get into comedy? Well, 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:09.520 you got into comedy first? Um? Were you always this outspoken? Um? 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:12.120 You know? It was? So I grew up in Miami 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:15.200 and I remember being in school and being very um. 0:04:15.240 --> 0:04:18.040 I was very active, and I was very vocal. I 0:04:18.200 --> 0:04:21.599 actually I brought Tipper Gore, like the first Lady to 0:04:21.800 --> 0:04:26.719 Miami to debate about censorship, like music censorship. So I 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:29.599 have been vocal, but I think that you know, what 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:33.600 happens is that the more you the more confident you become, 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:37.599 the more threatening you become to people who are insecure, 0:04:38.320 --> 0:04:41.240 and the more that if you allow it to you know, 0:04:41.440 --> 0:04:44.800 into your psyche, it can become an issue. And so 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:48.880 I I remember that I've always been vocal, but now 0:04:49.080 --> 0:04:51.960 I feel more confident in that because now even when 0:04:52.000 --> 0:04:54.440 somebody questions it, I know that I'm coming from the 0:04:54.440 --> 0:04:57.760 gut and it's it's it's hard to shake. So it's 0:04:57.800 --> 0:05:01.440 been an evolution. Okay, I feel you. Now, tell us 0:05:01.440 --> 0:05:03.880 a little bit about your comedy special for those that had, 0:05:03.960 --> 0:05:08.240 you know, don't know too much. So Fighting Words is 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:11.880 a special that I got from HBO Max before the pandemic, 0:05:12.640 --> 0:05:15.760 and I started working on it, and then the pandemic 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:19.040 hit and we all got shut down. So I had 0:05:19.080 --> 0:05:22.440 to redirect and had to start working on it through Zoom, 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:24.359 like I was doing Zoom comedy shows, which are the 0:05:24.360 --> 0:05:29.240 worst thing. I hate. It's the world because you need that. 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:34.039 You need people's energy, like you feed off people's energy, right, yeah, absolutely, 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.800 and so I mean any any live performer. And so 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:39.880 then I had to redirect and I wanted to talk 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:42.080 about some things. We started dealing with a lot of 0:05:42.200 --> 0:05:45.159 racial strife during the pandemic, a lot of stuff that 0:05:45.240 --> 0:05:48.960 had been here forever, you know, like when we talk 0:05:49.040 --> 0:05:52.680 about inequities, we know that that's been here for a 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:57.280 long time, and black people and are like, oh really, y'all, y'all. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:06:01.360 Now now everybody's surprised. This has been happening forever, and 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:04.000 now everybody else is like, So I was like, I 0:06:04.040 --> 0:06:05.760 want to talk about it. I want to talk. I 0:06:05.760 --> 0:06:08.480 want to be confrontational. I want to talk to all 0:06:08.520 --> 0:06:11.560 the woke people. I want to talk to the races. 0:06:11.600 --> 0:06:14.960 I want to talk to my people, Latinos, Latin X. 0:06:15.000 --> 0:06:19.800 And so I decided to go in. And that's why 0:06:19.800 --> 0:06:22.560 it's called fighting. Oh no, you went in. You always 0:06:22.560 --> 0:06:25.600 go in, okay um? And then I'll ask you this 0:06:25.640 --> 0:06:27.479 I'm being because I don't know a lot of people. 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:32.160 How does it feel to be the first after Latina 0:06:32.279 --> 0:06:33.600 to do this? Or how does it feel to be 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.719 the first after Latina to do that? In your case, 0:06:37.160 --> 0:06:39.040 you were the first afric Latina to have a comedy 0:06:39.080 --> 0:06:43.040 special on HBO. Um, did you even think about it 0:06:43.080 --> 0:06:48.400 in that way of like your present dando Latina in 0:06:48.400 --> 0:06:50.760 this process or it's just the fact that you know, 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:55.080 I'm a woman here making this happen, you know, Um, 0:06:55.120 --> 0:06:59.640 I have decided to Uh. I have made some changes 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:02.200 in my identity and not my my identity, but in 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:04.479 the way that I speak about my identity and being 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:08.839 Afro Indigenous and knowing how I identify. Because what happened 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:14.240 was that I mean simpery man Miami and I eat 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:17.600 through Savaka with racist Cubans that are always pointing out 0:07:17.600 --> 0:07:22.600 that my lips weren't think so, uh, what is the 0:07:22.760 --> 0:07:27.160 or the Nadia like all that bullshit. But um, that 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.400 was the very reason why I said, I want to 0:07:29.440 --> 0:07:33.160 show people in the Dominican Republic and all of all 0:07:33.200 --> 0:07:36.360 of their beauty right because the reality of it is 0:07:36.360 --> 0:07:38.280 is that life for me and you have been has 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:40.400 been very different. And for me to say that my 0:07:40.960 --> 0:07:44.800 journey has been the same as yours is being disingenuous 0:07:44.840 --> 0:07:48.040 because we all know that the lighter you are, the 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:50.680 more privilege you have in this country and in others. 0:07:50.800 --> 0:07:52.960 So I wanted to make sure that I was respectful 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:56.680 to my darker skin Afro Latinos by claiming my indigenous 0:07:56.760 --> 0:08:00.400 roots and saying I know that I present differently, but 0:08:00.480 --> 0:08:03.800 I wanted to be honest about our people, and so 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:07.320 I wanted to show the Dominican Republic in a way 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:10.800 that I'm tired of people showing little children begging for 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:13.360 money when they show the Dominican record or everything is 0:08:14.040 --> 0:08:16.280 all right. I mean, there's so much beauty in our 0:08:16.320 --> 0:08:20.480 country all over it. And so because I'm new to 0:08:20.560 --> 0:08:23.120 the Dominican Republic, it was part of my new my 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:26.600 new experience and meeting my father your thinking in Monica 0:08:26.720 --> 0:08:31.360 song Monica Monica Yo, And I was like, I wanted 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.199 people to see us in our fullness. And if I'm 0:08:34.240 --> 0:08:37.439 gonna show that, then I'm gonna talk about the reality 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:40.040 of what we do to each other. Because we like 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:43.160 to act like we don't do that. We're like, no, no, no, 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:45.439 it's about Puerto Ricans. I love to say that, Oh, 0:08:45.440 --> 0:08:50.560 Puerto Ricans don't do that. Yes, Puerto Ricans do. That 0:08:50.720 --> 0:08:53.240 is true. That is true. Do you when you were 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:56.000 here in Miami, um, or rather that are growing up 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:57.760 in Miami, do you feel that you were connected more 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.319 with the with the black community or do feel that 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:05.959 you were more involved in the Latino community? Would? I 0:09:06.000 --> 0:09:07.800 guess that would be the us. The black the Black 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:10.640 American community is the one that has always embraced me, 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:13.640 even in comedy, Like even in my journey, Latinos came 0:09:13.720 --> 0:09:17.760 to it Latin next, Latin A they came to it later. Um. 0:09:17.880 --> 0:09:22.040 The black community, American community has always embraced me, especially 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.200 in Miami, which is why I left because I didn't 0:09:24.200 --> 0:09:28.800 want to raise my kids in that city hearing those bellomalope, 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.640 like I didn't want my daughter to ever hear that craziness, 0:09:34.040 --> 0:09:36.720 though I couldn't shield her from it. California has its 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:40.080 own brand of racism. I was so traumatized by it 0:09:40.120 --> 0:09:42.920 that I didn't want my kids to experience any of it, 0:09:43.120 --> 0:09:53.120 so I left. I don't know, because you know, shout 0:09:53.120 --> 0:09:55.520 out to everybody from Miami three or five gangan gang, 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:58.000 Shout us to Highaliah Brown Seub, all that good stuff. 0:09:58.000 --> 0:10:01.440 I padded to the stobbing any who that's around from 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:04.760 Alippa really oh nice? And my TV show that I'm 0:10:04.800 --> 0:10:08.400 writing is about is set in Alipada. On me or well, 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:10.760 then you must have a lot to say from Alipada 0:10:10.800 --> 0:10:14.720 because and so whom cho I? Um? You know that 0:10:15.040 --> 0:10:17.400 for the most part, I feel that the entertainment industry 0:10:17.440 --> 0:10:21.000 is predominated by men, and there's always only but so 0:10:21.080 --> 0:10:23.800 much that you can say. I feel that men sometimes 0:10:23.840 --> 0:10:26.640 can get away with saying more things than women can. 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:29.000 I feel like all eyes are on you the moment 0:10:29.040 --> 0:10:31.480 that you say something like, oh no, she didn't right. 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:38.160 But did you ever feel a little bit like, oh 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:40.360 my god. I don't know if I should really um, 0:10:40.400 --> 0:10:44.840 you know, if I started talking about um tackling like 0:10:44.880 --> 0:10:48.120 white supremacy and racism, and other things that happened in 0:10:48.120 --> 0:10:50.560 our culture on your show. Was that something that you 0:10:50.640 --> 0:10:54.000 kind of felt like this could be like a cancel 0:10:54.080 --> 0:10:56.719 culture moment where they can destroy me. Either this is 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:59.160 gonna destroy me or this is really gonna build you 0:10:59.160 --> 0:11:03.480 know a show. Yeah, it's happened to me before. Um. 0:11:03.520 --> 0:11:06.200 You know, I was on the panel where the uh 0:11:06.720 --> 0:11:10.160 dark skinned black after Latina and there was an issue 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:12.240 with her and another person on the panel, and then 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:15.719 they attacked me for not saying anything. But when I 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.000 said something, then they attacked me for speaking on behalf 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.800 of dark snameing people and I was like, I can't 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:24.679 win for losing. And that taught me something very valuable. 0:11:24.720 --> 0:11:27.400 It taught me speak your truth and don't worry about 0:11:27.440 --> 0:11:30.120 what they say because they have something to say regardless. 0:11:30.200 --> 0:11:34.439 And a lot of the times Alando song video, so 0:11:34.520 --> 0:11:38.960 they don't really care about the cause and that's really 0:11:39.000 --> 0:11:42.199 what it is. So I just when I feel those 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:46.280 moments that I feel in my nervous or scared, I 0:11:46.280 --> 0:11:49.600 had to evaluate why and it's usually because I'm about 0:11:49.640 --> 0:11:53.480 to tell my truth. There you go, and it's scared. 0:11:53.559 --> 0:11:55.960 The truth is scary to everybody, and that's when I 0:11:56.000 --> 0:11:59.599 have to say do it and don't worry about the 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.679 consequent to just do it. And that's that's been my 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:06.000 last five years in comedy. Is like I'm gonna tell 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:09.560 what I'm gonna tell it how it is, but I'm 0:12:09.559 --> 0:12:12.080 not gonna lie because um. I also have this other 0:12:12.120 --> 0:12:14.600 show called Don't Cancel Me, and we talk about those 0:12:14.640 --> 0:12:17.320 things about how I somewhould feel that we're in a 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:21.960 very sensitive era where you can't express yourself without people 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:26.079 automatically yeah, everybody. Yeah, she said the worst thing, and 0:12:26.160 --> 0:12:28.200 now I'm emotionally her for the rest of my life. 0:12:28.360 --> 0:12:30.280 I do understand how, yes, you need, you need to 0:12:30.320 --> 0:12:32.200 be held accountable for the things that you say. I 0:12:32.200 --> 0:12:34.520 get that part. I get that some people do say 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:37.360 things that you know, do deserve to get canceled. I 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:40.160 get that part. But then the being is like some 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.480 of the things that you say, whether you want to 0:12:42.520 --> 0:12:44.800 admit it or not, whether it's sensitive to you or not, 0:12:45.280 --> 0:12:47.640 it is the truth. You know what I'm saying, And 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:50.360 it's like we all see it, it's in our faces, 0:12:50.600 --> 0:12:53.360 but nobody wants to talk about it. So when a 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:57.080 person like you has the balls of cone to get 0:12:57.160 --> 0:13:00.320 up on stage or get on a you know, on 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:05.280 a big platform, and you express it. It's like everybody 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:07.640 is like scared for you, Like, oh my god, is 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:09.400 she really gonna say that? Or did she really say it? 0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:11.240 And you don't know if to alfready laugh at ha 0:13:11.240 --> 0:13:14.520 ha ha that was part of a comedy, or like, no, 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:16.480 she really she really just said that? Like that was 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:20.199 some real Have you ever regretted saying something come and 0:13:20.280 --> 0:13:22.400 get damned? That was maybe too deep? What I what 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:26.320 I do is I don't lose the lesson because whatever 0:13:26.360 --> 0:13:28.880 I did in that moment, regardless if it was it 0:13:28.920 --> 0:13:31.400 turns out good or bad, there was a reason for 0:13:31.480 --> 0:13:33.440 why I said it, and it maybe the reason was 0:13:33.480 --> 0:13:36.920 for me to learn a lesson. And so I stand 0:13:36.920 --> 0:13:39.960 by what I say, and I've said some problematic things. 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:44.240 I'm still learning. Have you ever taken it back? Like, Okay, 0:13:44.360 --> 0:13:46.520 I thought it was funny, but after I thought about it, 0:13:46.520 --> 0:13:48.920 maybe it wasn't that funny. I know. What I did 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:51.760 is just eliminate the joke and just say I'm not 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:54.040 gonna say that again. But I did have a conversation 0:13:54.120 --> 0:13:56.840 with two trans women on my podcast who said that 0:13:56.880 --> 0:13:59.320 one of my jokes was problematic and we had a 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:03.040 conversation about it and I and then I understood why 0:14:03.200 --> 0:14:05.240 they felt that the joke was problematic, and I was like, 0:14:05.280 --> 0:14:06.839 I can write another joke. I don't have to tell 0:14:06.880 --> 0:14:09.800 the joke about. If I'm hurting a lot of people, 0:14:10.200 --> 0:14:12.720 then maybe the problem is me. But if it's one 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.440 person that's mad because their father left them and they 0:14:15.480 --> 0:14:17.600 got an issue with a joke I made about my father, 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:20.880 there's nothing I can do about that. That's your personal healing. Baby. 0:14:20.880 --> 0:14:22.200 I ain't got nothing to do. And you know what, 0:14:22.320 --> 0:14:25.480 that's something to extremely be UM to respect, you know 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:27.600 what I'm saying. The fact that you know, if for 0:14:27.640 --> 0:14:30.160 any answer what reason I funked up right, or I 0:14:30.200 --> 0:14:33.680 may had made a joke that was rude, disrespectful or 0:14:33.760 --> 0:14:37.760 hurtful or something. Just the fact that, um, your your ego, 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:42.920 as your ego hasn't gotten you know who meld in 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:45.280 and you can say, well, I'm sorry if that did 0:14:45.320 --> 0:14:48.360 offend someone, I'm willing to change it. I'm willing to 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.320 because I don't want to hurt a fan base. I 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:52.040 don't want to hurt my audience because you guys do 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:54.960 support me. So I definitely admire the fact that you're 0:14:55.000 --> 0:14:58.440 willing to, like, you know, press reset on those things. Now. 0:14:58.520 --> 0:15:00.720 I do know that you reconnected with your father on 0:15:00.800 --> 0:15:05.120 the special and everybody has heard my shell then on 0:15:05.160 --> 0:15:08.000 how I feel about my father and how I reconnected 0:15:08.040 --> 0:15:10.080 with him and all the ship that I went with 0:15:10.160 --> 0:15:12.880 you know, went through with minds. But we're gonna get 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.640 to that later. But how was that experience for you 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.880 to to be able to reconnect with him? You know, um, 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:22.240 after after so long, I'm still processing it. It was 0:15:22.360 --> 0:15:24.760 it was first of all, was happy that had happened 0:15:24.840 --> 0:15:27.960 because I always wanted to beat see him and touch 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:31.800 him and hear his voice, and here in person, I 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:34.440 wanted to meet my siblings that I didn't know existed. 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:40.000 And also for my own personal healing, needed to take 0:15:40.080 --> 0:15:43.880 that journey because whether you know that we were romanticized 0:15:43.920 --> 0:15:46.200 this whole thing. Oh, you know, you meet your father's 0:15:46.400 --> 0:15:49.080 you're gonna live happily. Ever after that may not be 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:51.160 the case. I may never see him again, we may 0:15:51.240 --> 0:15:53.960 never talk again. But that moment was very special to me, 0:15:54.560 --> 0:15:56.400 and I wanted to show people who were in that 0:15:56.520 --> 0:16:00.840 same situation that it's okay. Um, you know, you do 0:16:00.880 --> 0:16:03.120 it for your healing. You do it for your personal healing, 0:16:04.720 --> 0:16:09.440 that's true, but I love him. Yeah, but who First 0:16:09.440 --> 0:16:11.560 of all, who made this connection happen? Did you reach out? 0:16:11.560 --> 0:16:14.160 Did he reach out? How did this happen? So they 0:16:14.280 --> 0:16:17.880 found me on Facebook? My my sisters found me on 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:21.320 Facebook some years ago. He actually my grandmother went to 0:16:21.320 --> 0:16:28.200 the Dominican Republic before she died. She went because I 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:29.960 always used to tell my grandmother when I was like, 0:16:30.120 --> 0:16:31.440 I want to meet my father, I want to be 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:33.440 with my father. I want to see my father. So 0:16:33.520 --> 0:16:35.040 every year she would tell her she was going to 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:37.800 Puerto Rico and she was going to the Dominican Republic 0:16:38.240 --> 0:16:48.040 and looking for him, and and they gave it to him, 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:52.320 and that is how we actually reconnected. Um, he called 0:16:52.400 --> 0:16:55.720 me and then we touched base, but it wasn't real. 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:58.440 And then my sisters reached out to me on social 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:00.880 media and say, hey, even if you don't want anything 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:03.000 to do with him, we want to be involved. We 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:06.280 want to know you. And that's where how it happened. 0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:11.320 When when you saw him, did you feel I say, yo, 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:13.840 was there a spark, a connection, a thing, or did 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:15.440 you see him you're like, oh my god, it looked 0:17:15.440 --> 0:17:17.840 like you or I can see how there are certain 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:20.879 characteristics about you that resembled like did you feel anything 0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:22.600 or was it just like you know, like meeting a 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:25.919 new person, like hey, you know what's up? No, it 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:28.800 was I was. I mean people people commented on the 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:30.840 face that I made when he walked into the room, 0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:35.399 but it wasn't it was yes, man, I looked like 0:17:35.440 --> 0:17:39.320 this man look at me. Um. Also, I don't know 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.600 what to do, like do I hug him? Do I 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:43.600 told him to hug me because he was scared to 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:46.639 hug me. And then it was just a very strange. 0:17:47.320 --> 0:17:49.320 But when I felt when I of course there was 0:17:49.359 --> 0:17:53.959 a connection and I felt I felt something that I 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:57.600 felt in that moment that I learned. I learned I 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:01.280 had a flashback of like my situation in life and 0:18:01.320 --> 0:18:04.359 the way that I have I interact with men. At 0:18:04.400 --> 0:18:06.720 that very moment, I was like, oh, this is why 0:18:06.840 --> 0:18:09.959 because he wasn't there, you know, So it was it 0:18:10.000 --> 0:18:19.000 was deep though. So let me say a little bit 0:18:19.000 --> 0:18:23.359 about my father. My father left me Win I was 0:18:23.400 --> 0:18:26.640 like almost two years old with my mom knowing that 0:18:26.760 --> 0:18:29.040 when Mike is my mom crossed the Mexican border to 0:18:29.200 --> 0:18:32.480 get to the United States and went through that whole journey. 0:18:32.720 --> 0:18:35.760 I hate a la you know, everybody comes in differently. 0:18:35.760 --> 0:18:39.080 But Mommy had to take that route get to Miami 0:18:39.119 --> 0:18:42.000 after going to Panama, Texas. She did a whole not 0:18:42.840 --> 0:18:47.040 just to get to Miami. Has me there, um And 0:18:47.119 --> 0:18:49.800 like I said, my father left, he went to Puerto Rico. 0:18:50.080 --> 0:18:59.040 He got le and me that I was his daughter. 0:18:59.480 --> 0:19:03.800 He never I had money to give me, to support me. Nothing. Um. 0:19:03.920 --> 0:19:07.560 Years later, obviously he sees me and Don Francisco realizes 0:19:07.600 --> 0:19:09.439 that I resemble and he's like, oh, it isn't that 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:13.320 his daughter? Oh yeah, that's my daughter. So he came 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:15.720 around here and there are a few calls back, then 0:19:16.640 --> 0:19:19.879 disappeared again and then basically came back around the fame. 0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:23.879 So it was kind of hurtful because I always felt like, 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:26.560 I don't think that men and and I'm and I 0:19:26.760 --> 0:19:28.879 and I'm speaking very from my heart right now because 0:19:28.880 --> 0:19:31.640 I'm you know, you know, in the process of obviously 0:19:31.680 --> 0:19:34.000 now being a mother, But I don't think that men 0:19:34.040 --> 0:19:38.200 really understand the importance of a father figure in a 0:19:37.960 --> 0:19:43.600 in a girl's life the l because it might not 0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:45.760 be all the time. Sometimes you might even forget that 0:19:45.800 --> 0:19:48.760 he exists. It's like whatever, but there'll be certain moments 0:19:48.760 --> 0:19:51.239 that you're like, Damn, I wish that I had a 0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:54.000 father figure here. I wish that I had that protection. 0:19:54.040 --> 0:19:56.600 I wish that I had that hug. I wish that 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:58.560 I go said that. I don't feel that as men, 0:19:58.640 --> 0:20:02.080 they understand, Thank God, UM in my case and I'm 0:20:02.080 --> 0:20:04.639 sure yours as well. We were blessed with amazing women, 0:20:05.400 --> 0:20:13.480 you know, our mothers that sacrificat it. Don't fuck it. 0:20:14.880 --> 0:20:17.679 But it's very hard. And I know that once you 0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:20.680 reconnect with this person, because it happened to me when 0:20:20.720 --> 0:20:23.840 I saw him again. In my mind, it is true, 0:20:23.880 --> 0:20:26.240 I had like this fairy tale of like I'm gonna 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:28.440 see my father, He's gonna hug me, He's gonna be 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:32.440 like a miss to you and me high. It wasn't 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:35.040 like that at all. It was just like, you know, hey, 0:20:35.119 --> 0:20:36.679 what's up. You know what I'm saying, what's up? You 0:20:36.680 --> 0:20:41.439 know it's me. It was so dry and like a 0:20:41.480 --> 0:20:46.040 little bit awkward. I don't know, maybe you know your 0:20:46.040 --> 0:20:49.160 mind you wanted to be, but how has how has 0:20:49.200 --> 0:20:52.119 it been after meeting him? Like you know, it was 0:20:52.960 --> 0:20:58.160 tough because you know, you guys still talk we communicate 0:20:58.240 --> 0:21:00.480 your text. I haven't talked to him in a while. 0:21:00.640 --> 0:21:05.120 Something happened after the meeting um and he went off 0:21:05.119 --> 0:21:10.560 on me, and that just, you know, like because of 0:21:10.600 --> 0:21:13.960 course you start questioning why, you know, what do you want? 0:21:14.119 --> 0:21:16.119 Like if do you want something? Like I can't be 0:21:16.160 --> 0:21:20.080 your savior in this moment because I've had some success. 0:21:20.119 --> 0:21:22.520 I struggled a lot to get what I where I 0:21:22.560 --> 0:21:25.800 am in life, and you know, I don't feel like 0:21:25.840 --> 0:21:28.800 I owe you anything. And so just because I grew 0:21:28.880 --> 0:21:32.720 up in the United States and there are different opportunities here, 0:21:32.760 --> 0:21:35.400 I still struggled in the United States, I went through hell, 0:21:36.040 --> 0:21:39.200 so I don't I just was like, just I had 0:21:39.240 --> 0:21:42.320 to take some space, and they didn't. He couldn't understand 0:21:42.320 --> 0:21:44.320 that I needed a moment because it was a lot. 0:21:44.400 --> 0:21:46.560 And I went straight to Puerto Rico from the Dominican 0:21:46.600 --> 0:21:48.359 Republic because I was shooting the other part of my 0:21:48.440 --> 0:21:50.879 documentary and I had to put it on hold. I 0:21:50.960 --> 0:21:53.040 was like, I need to I need to get to work, 0:21:53.080 --> 0:21:55.080 I need to finish what I'm doing and then I 0:21:55.080 --> 0:21:57.480 can deal with this later. And he was really upset 0:21:57.560 --> 0:22:01.600 with me, told me never to call him again. So 0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:06.160