1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:01,400 Speaker 1: This is the Freas Show. 2 00:00:02,200 --> 00:00:05,160 Speaker 2: Dane is taking over Las Vegas this January for his 3 00:00:05,280 --> 00:00:08,399 Speaker 2: seven night Presidents Adobe Live at Park MGM, and we've 4 00:00:08,400 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 2: got a trip for two to the January twenty fifth 5 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:14,319 Speaker 2: show to Night Hotel State Park MGM January twenty fourth 6 00:00:14,320 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 2: through the twenty sixth and round trip airfare. Text forever 7 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,599 Speaker 2: to three seven three three seven now for a chance 8 00:00:20,640 --> 00:00:23,040 Speaker 2: to win. A confirmation text will be said. Standard message 9 00:00:23,040 --> 00:00:25,320 Speaker 2: of data rates may apply. All thanks to Live Nation. 10 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 1: Breast show is on What Stay or Go? She has 11 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:29,440 Speaker 1: a song. 12 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 2: Dottium or like our boss is trying to like maneuver 13 00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 2: something and Nope, I just went ahead and did it. Hi, Mary, 14 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 2: how you doingday? 15 00:00:42,440 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 3: I'm okay. How are you guys doing? 16 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:45,680 Speaker 2: I don't know how you can be just okay at 17 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:47,879 Speaker 2: that new Hillary Duff song, But okay, that's fine, So 18 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 2: whatever I mean, I'm all fired up. For me. It's 19 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:54,280 Speaker 2: like so Yesterday all over again, Like it's just the 20 00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:55,160 Speaker 2: same kind of feels. 21 00:00:55,440 --> 00:00:58,080 Speaker 1: Nonetheless, what's going on with you and your husband? 22 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 2: You guys are high school sweet you've been together for 23 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,360 Speaker 2: twenty years and he wrote us a note because you 24 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 2: want to be on Stay or Go? So that we 25 00:01:06,040 --> 00:01:08,399 Speaker 2: can talk about you and decide, you know, how you 26 00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,240 Speaker 2: should live out the rest of your life. So tell 27 00:01:10,319 --> 00:01:12,480 Speaker 2: us at the end of this, we will give you 28 00:01:12,520 --> 00:01:17,160 Speaker 2: the pathway to follow to live the rest of your life. 29 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 2: Because everyone who comes on stay orgo agrees to do 30 00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 2: exactly what we tell them, So go ahead. 31 00:01:23,360 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 1: Okay. 32 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 3: So we openly talk about this all the time. We 33 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,080 Speaker 3: neither one of us. 34 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 4: Have been with anybody else, and you know, since we've 35 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:37,720 Speaker 4: been together since high school, and we talk about the 36 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 4: fact that it's just been us, and we always talk 37 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 4: about this. 38 00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 3: Okay. Recently though, while we were talking about it like usual, 39 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:52,400 Speaker 3: he kind of shocked me because he asked if I 40 00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:57,000 Speaker 3: would ever be interested in opening up our relationship. 41 00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,040 Speaker 2: Why are you talking about? Like what is the context? Like, 42 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 2: is you just like, oh, I wonder what it would 43 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 2: be like since we've only been with each other, Like 44 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,640 Speaker 2: I wonder what other people you know? I wonder if 45 00:02:04,680 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 2: it's different or is it like kind of in a 46 00:02:06,400 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 2: cent or is it or is it coming you know, 47 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,919 Speaker 2: from your perspective, because you don't really know necessarily where 48 00:02:11,919 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: it's coming from within him? But for you, is it 49 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 2: is it your curiosity? Like do you wonder, Hey, it 50 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 2: could be better, it could be different. So you're satisfied, 51 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:23,800 Speaker 2: you're you're not having this conversation because you're unfulfilled in 52 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 2: some way. 53 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:30,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I I honestly talk about it, and we joke 54 00:02:30,919 --> 00:02:33,880 Speaker 3: about it, and I thought he was joking that he 55 00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 3: was actually being serious, and it's it's not something I've 56 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 3: ever considered, but I told him I would think about it, 57 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:44,920 Speaker 3: because what else am I going to say? 58 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:47,200 Speaker 2: Well, yes, I guess for me, I'm just curious why 59 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:49,760 Speaker 2: that conversation because you said earlier like that, you guys 60 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,919 Speaker 2: talk about it a lot, like the idea of and 61 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,000 Speaker 2: then and now all of a sudden, it's why, you know, 62 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,360 Speaker 2: one step further in that conversation. So I just wonder, 63 00:02:57,440 --> 00:02:59,640 Speaker 2: is that I don't know what it's like to be 64 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:02,639 Speaker 2: with only one person, so I wouldn't even know how 65 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 2: to have a conversation like that. But I just I 66 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,359 Speaker 2: was curious, like what the impetus was. But nonetheless, this 67 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: time he says, you, well, what if we what if 68 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,560 Speaker 2: we uh, you know, what if I stepped out? What 69 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 2: if you stepped out? I assume it's what he's talking about, 70 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,680 Speaker 2: like that you guys would individually go maybe do other things. 71 00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, like maybe this would add to our relationship because 72 00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 3: we've been together so long and and I just talked 73 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:30,959 Speaker 3: about it, but I really I don't want to share him. 74 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:34,080 Speaker 3: I mean, I feel stuck because I don't want to 75 00:03:34,120 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 3: lose him, but I can't stay and tell him I 76 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:40,720 Speaker 3: don't want an open relationship, right, I mean. 77 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, you can. 78 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 2: Like this is all very confusing to me, Like when 79 00:03:44,640 --> 00:03:47,520 Speaker 2: I hear about situations where one person wants and believe 80 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:49,360 Speaker 2: it or not, I know more than one person who's 81 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:53,520 Speaker 2: kind of secretly in an open relationship, and oftentimes he's 82 00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 2: only one person that really wants it, and the other 83 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 2: one went for it because they wanted to appease their 84 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 2: partner in some way, even though they're very in comfortable 85 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,200 Speaker 2: with it. And in fact, at least two of the 86 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 2: situations I'm aware of, that relationship is ending because the 87 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,400 Speaker 2: person was uncomfortable they did it anyway, and then that 88 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,680 Speaker 2: wound up being the thing that sort of you know, 89 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 2: created the whole thing. It was like, well, I'll do 90 00:04:13,840 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 2: this for you because maybe adding some spice or some variety, 91 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 2: maybe that adds some spice and variety to our lives 92 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:22,600 Speaker 2: or whatever. And it turns out no, the person who 93 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:24,360 Speaker 2: didn't want to do it was. 94 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 1: Always uncomfortable with it. 95 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,600 Speaker 2: So no, I don't think in the confines of a relationship, 96 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 2: of a marriage, or any form of committed relationship, that 97 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 2: you have to agree to something or risk losing someone. 98 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:33,920 Speaker 1: But how do you. 99 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,560 Speaker 5: Stay knowing they want that the whole That would be 100 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 5: in the back of my mind for the rest of 101 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:37,719 Speaker 5: our relationship. 102 00:04:37,800 --> 00:04:39,719 Speaker 2: But within relationships, don't people ask for a lot of 103 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 2: things and maybe you do some of them and maybe 104 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 2: you don't. 105 00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:42,680 Speaker 1: I don't know. 106 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,320 Speaker 2: I mean, do you get the idea that he's really 107 00:04:45,360 --> 00:04:47,359 Speaker 2: committed to this or is it just like he just 108 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 2: threw it out there as a curiosity? And if you 109 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 2: were to say no, do you really believe that he 110 00:04:51,680 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 2: would resent you if you said no? 111 00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:57,920 Speaker 3: If I don't go along with it, I do feel 112 00:04:57,920 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 3: like he would. 113 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,479 Speaker 1: This is really tough, you know. It's like I don't 114 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:03,599 Speaker 1: want to share him, but. 115 00:05:03,680 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 2: You don't have to. My thing is I don't think 116 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 2: you don't have to agree to anything you don't want 117 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:08,440 Speaker 2: to do. And if he's going to leave you over 118 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 2: this now all of a sudden after twenty years. 119 00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,240 Speaker 6: But he might cheat, you know what I'm saying like 120 00:05:13,320 --> 00:05:15,839 Speaker 6: he's telling her he wants a variety, he wants to 121 00:05:15,839 --> 00:05:18,640 Speaker 6: try to other things, and if she doesn't agree to it, 122 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,120 Speaker 6: she can run the risk of him cheating. 123 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,919 Speaker 1: On hearing him. 124 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,040 Speaker 2: Or I would like to give him the benefit of 125 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:27,839 Speaker 2: the doubt and say that he's being transparent because he 126 00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:29,600 Speaker 2: wants to do this something up and up, and if 127 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:32,159 Speaker 2: she says no, he'll respect his wife. I would like 128 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 2: to believe that after twenty years. I feel like if 129 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,360 Speaker 2: he were going to cheat, he doesn't have to communicate anything. 130 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:41,120 Speaker 2: He can just go cheat. So I don't know that 131 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,680 Speaker 2: one necessarily leads to another. I mean no, I would 132 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,640 Speaker 2: say that you have to protect your piece, and if 133 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,120 Speaker 2: you don't want to do it, then you say no. 134 00:05:48,200 --> 00:05:49,720 Speaker 2: And if he cheats on you or leaves you, then 135 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:52,080 Speaker 2: I think that as painful as that would be, that 136 00:05:52,120 --> 00:05:54,640 Speaker 2: tells you absolutely everything you need to know, doesn't it. 137 00:05:55,839 --> 00:05:58,159 Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess I just wanted to know if anyone 138 00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 3: had been with someone as long as we've been together, 139 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:04,480 Speaker 3: and if they experienced this, and if they went for 140 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 3: it or it was a bad idea. 141 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:09,040 Speaker 1: Okay, well, let me take some whole calls on what 142 00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: to do, because this is where it comes in. You 143 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 1: don't really have to do what we tell you. 144 00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:14,600 Speaker 2: I mean, you should because we're usually right, especially especially 145 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,760 Speaker 2: usually me, I'm usually the most right, but because I'm 146 00:06:17,760 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 2: the voice of reason. But but the thing is, there 147 00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 2: are people listening out there, I'm sure who have been 148 00:06:22,680 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 2: through something like this, and then who will call and 149 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,840 Speaker 2: and and share their their perspective. So I'm going to 150 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:30,280 Speaker 2: take some calls have the radio. One, thank you for listening. 151 00:06:30,279 --> 00:06:32,000 Speaker 2: We wish you the very best and thanks for sharing. 152 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: Two. 153 00:06:33,080 --> 00:06:33,760 Speaker 3: Thanks guys. 154 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: Eight five three five mile. 155 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:38,719 Speaker 7: Hi, good morning. 156 00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:39,040 Speaker 3: Hi. 157 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:41,080 Speaker 2: So your theory. By the way, just to recap if 158 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:45,000 Speaker 2: someone's just joining in. This woman Mary has been with 159 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,920 Speaker 2: her husband now for twenty years. They were high school sweethearts, 160 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,240 Speaker 2: so the entire you know, span of the relationship is 161 00:06:50,279 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 2: twenty years they've only been with each other, and she'd 162 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:56,000 Speaker 2: mentioned that they talk occasionally about what it would be 163 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:58,400 Speaker 2: like openly, you know, to be with other people, and finally, 164 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 2: in this one conversation recently, he said, well, what if 165 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:03,160 Speaker 2: we just open the relationship. She doesn't want to do it, 166 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:06,520 Speaker 2: but she's afraid if she doesn't do it that he'll 167 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,880 Speaker 2: leave her. There'll be repercussions or resentment or what do 168 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:09,320 Speaker 2: you think? 169 00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 7: So from my understanding, they joked about it before. 170 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:17,640 Speaker 8: I think he stepped out of the marriage already. 171 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:19,320 Speaker 7: I really do, based. 172 00:07:19,120 --> 00:07:19,480 Speaker 2: On what. 173 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:22,400 Speaker 5: I mean. 174 00:07:22,520 --> 00:07:24,560 Speaker 7: Here's the thing. If he brings it up here and 175 00:07:24,600 --> 00:07:27,960 Speaker 7: there jokingly, I feel like it's not a joke. I 176 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 7: kind of feel like he already stepped out of the 177 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:34,480 Speaker 7: marriage and he keeps trying to push it to see like, hey, 178 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 7: maybe do you want to give it a try to 179 00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 7: kind of, you know, ease his guilt and maybe he 180 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,720 Speaker 7: wants to do it again twenty years together and you're 181 00:07:42,720 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 7: bringing it up now. 182 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 2: But do people telegraph their their I mean, I guess 183 00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,520 Speaker 2: people project all the time. But I mean, again, if 184 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,720 Speaker 2: he's willing to be that communicative about it, is he 185 00:07:54,800 --> 00:07:56,160 Speaker 2: really telling on himself in that way? 186 00:07:56,200 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like. 187 00:07:57,080 --> 00:07:59,120 Speaker 2: If you're going to really because I think if you're 188 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 2: going to cheat you I don't have to tell you 189 00:08:01,160 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 2: about it. I don't have to, I don't have to try. 190 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,240 Speaker 2: And I guess I could manipulate you into it. But 191 00:08:06,480 --> 00:08:08,320 Speaker 2: if I'm already doing it, then why don't need your 192 00:08:08,320 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 2: permission now? 193 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:10,480 Speaker 1: To Jesus guilt? 194 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 7: He doesn't need permission. It's a narcissistic thing where he 195 00:08:13,480 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 7: feels like, I'm going to tell you a little bit, 196 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 7: but not enough to rat on me, do you know 197 00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:18,360 Speaker 7: what I mean? 198 00:08:18,520 --> 00:08:20,480 Speaker 2: So, there's no way that this guy, after twenty years, 199 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 2: actually respects his wife and is having an open communication 200 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:27,119 Speaker 2: about something that he would like to try and running 201 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 2: the risk that she says, no, there's no way, but 202 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,400 Speaker 2: that's possible. 203 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 7: She needs to leave. I'm sorry, No, don't sorry. 204 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:40,080 Speaker 2: I'm just I'm playing Devil's advocate here. I yeah, but yeah, 205 00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:43,000 Speaker 2: I would like to believe after twenty years in open communication, 206 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:44,800 Speaker 2: and it sounds like she admitted that they've had a 207 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 2: lot of communication about things that are sort of taboo topics, 208 00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:50,440 Speaker 2: I'd like to believe that it's not that cut and dry. 209 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,480 Speaker 1: But all right, thank you, Maya, I have a good day, 210 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:53,880 Speaker 1: me too. 211 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:54,240 Speaker 7: Bye. 212 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:54,600 Speaker 1: Yeah. 213 00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 2: I mean, this is a pretty overwhelming thought that he's 214 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:01,640 Speaker 2: already doing it. Hey, Shelley, Yeah, Hi, Hey, good morning. 215 00:09:01,679 --> 00:09:03,200 Speaker 2: You say go because he's already at it. 216 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,160 Speaker 8: You know what, I think that he might have met someone. 217 00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 8: I really do, and you know what, open herself up, 218 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:13,800 Speaker 8: do what makes her heart feel good? You know, if 219 00:09:13,840 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 8: she doesn't feel comfortable with it. Go just let him go. 220 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think she has to agree to anything. 221 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:25,559 Speaker 2: And I think if the relationship is if the relationship 222 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:28,480 Speaker 2: is contingent on her allowing him to be with other 223 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 2: people or introducing other people into their relationship, then that 224 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 2: relationship is highly fractured in my opinion. 225 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 8: In my opinion as well, And you know what, she 226 00:09:38,120 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 8: is never going to trust him after this. The trust 227 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:45,120 Speaker 8: line is broken. She's going to be miserable. You will 228 00:09:45,200 --> 00:09:47,960 Speaker 8: be missing out on a great opportunity for herself. 229 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:48,400 Speaker 1: Maybe. 230 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:50,520 Speaker 2: But I also don't want to encourage people not to 231 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:52,839 Speaker 2: communicate the things that they might want to do. And 232 00:09:53,080 --> 00:09:55,800 Speaker 2: granted that's an extreme one, but I mean, wouldn't you 233 00:09:55,880 --> 00:09:58,280 Speaker 2: rather that your partners say hey, I thought about this, 234 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:00,960 Speaker 2: or would you consider this rather than and never talk 235 00:10:01,040 --> 00:10:03,240 Speaker 2: about it and then keep it inside. 236 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,760 Speaker 1: I mean, I mean, you know, I. 237 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,439 Speaker 8: Agree with the communication. I'm one hundred percent with the 238 00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:14,160 Speaker 8: on communication. But my opinion is her trust is now 239 00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:18,320 Speaker 8: altered and she's not gonna trust him whether they communicate. 240 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 8: She tells him no, she's always going to wonder. 241 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,160 Speaker 1: Okay, fair enough, thank you, sheelly have a good day, 242 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:25,719 Speaker 1: Oh you too. By And I got a bunch of 243 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:26,240 Speaker 1: calls to get to. 244 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:28,599 Speaker 2: But like Paulina, so if Hobby comes to you and 245 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:30,839 Speaker 2: says he wants to do X y Z, whether it's 246 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:34,400 Speaker 2: an activity or a specific thing or bringing other people 247 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 2: in or whatever, do you feel like, I mean, you 248 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:37,960 Speaker 2: have a good marriage. Do you feel like if you 249 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 2: say no, that that automatically means he'll just go do 250 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 2: it with someone else? Or do you feel like he 251 00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:45,040 Speaker 2: would should be able to come to you and say, hey, 252 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:46,800 Speaker 2: I'm thinking about this, this would be hot, and then 253 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:49,360 Speaker 2: you say no, and then all right, well that kind 254 00:10:49,360 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 2: of sucks, but then you're still married. 255 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,559 Speaker 9: Yeah, that did happen to us, And it wasn't a 256 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 9: question of like can we do this? It was just like, oh, 257 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 9: what do you think of something like this? My hot 258 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:02,560 Speaker 9: take on the like kind of what essentially opening up 259 00:11:02,600 --> 00:11:03,000 Speaker 9: your marriage? 260 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:03,199 Speaker 5: Right? 261 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:04,240 Speaker 1: So like seeing other people? 262 00:11:04,600 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 9: My hot take on that is like I would almost 263 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,760 Speaker 9: feel like, why, like are you not satisfied with us 264 00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,080 Speaker 9: in the bedroom? Like I'm also a little insecure sized 265 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:13,880 Speaker 9: aart thinking a little deeper, I'm like, are you not 266 00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:14,600 Speaker 9: attracted to me? 267 00:11:14,679 --> 00:11:14,760 Speaker 2: Like? 268 00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:16,680 Speaker 1: Do you not want me? Do you not want this marriage? 269 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 1: I get a little deep with it, okay, So. 270 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:19,800 Speaker 9: Like it could be as simple as like I just 271 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 9: want to, you know, spice things up, whatever the reasoning 272 00:11:22,280 --> 00:11:24,600 Speaker 9: is for this couple, Like I would feel some type 273 00:11:24,600 --> 00:11:26,960 Speaker 9: of way, but I think, what do you shut it down? 274 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,920 Speaker 1: And your partner's like, okay, that sucks, but it is 275 00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:29,360 Speaker 1: what it is. 276 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:31,680 Speaker 9: I think that's like fine, I don't think Hobby's going 277 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:32,680 Speaker 9: to go off and do things. 278 00:11:32,720 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 1: I don't see that. Yeah, I don't. 279 00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 2: I don't know that one leads to the other. But 280 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,600 Speaker 2: I agree with you, it might be hard to unring 281 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 2: that bell. 282 00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,760 Speaker 1: It is it is, it is. 283 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,839 Speaker 9: It makes you kind of question like okay, like like 284 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 9: why would you want that? 285 00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,800 Speaker 1: What would you just mean? And that's how I think, 286 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,480 Speaker 1: and I think a lot of women do well. 287 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,280 Speaker 2: I'm afraid that if you say, oh my god, absolutely not, 288 00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 2: you've probably shut down all communication on that topic and 289 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:56,040 Speaker 2: maybe some others moving forward, like if you shame some 290 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:58,520 Speaker 2: and granted adding another person's different than I want to. 291 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,600 Speaker 2: I want you to do XYZ between the two of us. 292 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 2: But you know, I guess it's a tough spot to 293 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:07,000 Speaker 2: be in because depending how you answer, how you react, 294 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:10,240 Speaker 2: you know that could that could really change trajectory of things. 295 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:14,359 Speaker 7: You know, whatever. 296 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 1: Right, what's your name? 297 00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:16,839 Speaker 3: All? Right? 298 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:19,160 Speaker 5: Now? 299 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 2: When you called the radio station, Hey, Kim, I know 300 00:12:25,320 --> 00:12:26,720 Speaker 2: that you don't want to miss a word of the 301 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:29,720 Speaker 2: things that we're saying because they're usually you know, dead on. 302 00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:32,520 Speaker 2: But you can't have the radio one because this is 303 00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:34,079 Speaker 2: his delay, Kim, What did you want to say? 304 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:34,559 Speaker 1: Good morning? 305 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:40,560 Speaker 5: So I think she should stay. Twenty years is a 306 00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 5: long time he's been talking and adding it as spice. 307 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 5: But you have to be very very confident in yourself 308 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,920 Speaker 5: and in your marriage. I've been married a very long 309 00:12:55,040 --> 00:13:00,360 Speaker 5: time and we have talked about it numerous times, and 310 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:05,839 Speaker 5: one time we went to Vegas and it happened. I 311 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:12,080 Speaker 5: don't know if you're talking about an open relationship adding 312 00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 5: a person to it, but I don't think she should leave. 313 00:13:18,320 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 5: I think he's talking to her. It's communication. It doesn't 314 00:13:22,280 --> 00:13:25,079 Speaker 5: mean that he's already done it. You guys are sitting 315 00:13:25,120 --> 00:13:28,120 Speaker 5: there saying, oh, he's in it, he's doing it. 316 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,760 Speaker 2: I don't think some people are saying that, Tim, Yes, 317 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:35,960 Speaker 2: I don't think that necessarily means that he's done it. 318 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:37,840 Speaker 2: I think it means he's curious about it. But which 319 00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,600 Speaker 2: could have its own problems, Kim, I have to be nosy. 320 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 2: Was at the beginning of something that you guys started 321 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:44,480 Speaker 2: doing in your relationship or was that just a one 322 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:45,199 Speaker 2: off thing? 323 00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:49,319 Speaker 5: No, it was a one off thing and we talk 324 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:53,800 Speaker 5: about doing it other times. But it's we thought about 325 00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:58,640 Speaker 5: swinging way back in the day, probably be married ten years, 326 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:03,079 Speaker 5: but it wasn't. It was something we said to each 327 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:08,320 Speaker 5: other that added spice to our relationship. But I have 328 00:14:08,400 --> 00:14:11,680 Speaker 5: to say, you know, I'm I trust him. I don't 329 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,400 Speaker 5: think he would ever ever do something like that without me. 330 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 5: And that's where your relationship has to be. Yeah, it 331 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 5: has to be where you're trusting, even not swinging or 332 00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,920 Speaker 5: or open or one time. You guys have to trust 333 00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:33,600 Speaker 5: each other, and obviously they do they're married twenty years. 334 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 1: But Kim's down for it. Kim, you were down for 335 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: this woman. She's not. She doesn't want to. 336 00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 2: Do it, and she's what I don't know, And thank 337 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:43,280 Speaker 2: you for calling, Kim. I appreciate you have a great day. 338 00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:46,680 Speaker 2: What I don't know is is, though, is there no 339 00:14:47,640 --> 00:14:53,280 Speaker 2: Why is she so trepidacious about saying no to him? Like? 340 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:55,800 Speaker 2: Why is she so convinced? Saying no to him leads 341 00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:58,240 Speaker 2: to something bad, like that's what That's the part of 342 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 2: this that's interesting for me is she's I think she 343 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 2: should be able to say no and then okay, and 344 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:05,160 Speaker 2: he can be disappointed, but that's the end of it. 345 00:15:05,320 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 6: But you you would think about this, like if your 346 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,200 Speaker 6: partner came to you and had that request and you 347 00:15:10,320 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 6: said no. I know, in the back of your mind 348 00:15:12,520 --> 00:15:14,680 Speaker 6: you would be like, okay, but that's something she wants 349 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:17,160 Speaker 6: to do, and you would think about that over and 350 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:20,200 Speaker 6: over again, like, I know I said no, but does 351 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 6: that mean they're not going to do it? 352 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: Yeah? Maybe? 353 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 2: But if I say no and then we move on 354 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 2: from it, I hope that that our marriage continues and 355 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,280 Speaker 2: that we have a functioning relationship and all the other 356 00:15:31,320 --> 00:15:33,040 Speaker 2: things I get with you would mess with me. But 357 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,040 Speaker 2: I also I don't know that I would assume it's 358 00:15:35,040 --> 00:15:37,320 Speaker 2: already happening. I don't know that I would assume everything's over. 359 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,320 Speaker 2: I'd like to believe people can say a lot of 360 00:15:39,360 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 2: things in a marriage and they're not just going to 361 00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:42,560 Speaker 2: leave when you don't agree with it. 362 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 6: Yeah no, But having you know another person is a 363 00:15:45,360 --> 00:15:47,280 Speaker 6: different type of thing. But I wish I could be 364 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 6: like Kim, you know, Kim was down. She's like, let's 365 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,160 Speaker 6: go to Vegas, let's get it off. That's how you 366 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 6: want it to be. You want to be on the 367 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 6: same type of time with your partner. But if one 368 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:57,200 Speaker 6: of you is like, oh no, I don't want to 369 00:15:57,240 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 6: do it, then that leaves the other person like, man, 370 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:00,280 Speaker 6: I really want to. 371 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:02,240 Speaker 2: Do this, but this I will tell you this much, Kiky. 372 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,280 Speaker 2: In one hundred percent of the examples that I'm aware of, 373 00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:07,440 Speaker 2: and it's more than one, one of the people didn't 374 00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:09,640 Speaker 2: want to do it but gave in to a piece 375 00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:12,240 Speaker 2: the other person and it still didn't work because I 376 00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,400 Speaker 2: don't know that that's something that you I feel like 377 00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 2: you're either into it or you're not, and if you're not, 378 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 2: I don't know that you can be convinced by actually 379 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:19,600 Speaker 2: doing it. 380 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 1: So that's a tricky one. No, we didn't solve this 381 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:23,320 Speaker 1: person's problem.