1
00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:04,200
Speaker 1: Kind of kind of love. Where's the love in this email? Like,

2
00:00:04,320 --> 00:00:07,960
Speaker 1: I haven't I didn't see it one time. I didn't

3
00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,520
Speaker 1: see I don't think I didn't see ever in a

4
00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:15,840
Speaker 1: lot pretty long email. I didn't see anything that says.

5
00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:19,560
Speaker 2: Our heart, our hearts are broken, Our hearts are broken.

6
00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:35,040
Speaker 1: Welcome back to the podcast, y'all. Special guests today. Well

7
00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:39,600
Speaker 1: you're not special, you're normal. Normal, normal guest today. Bernie

8
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:44,640
Speaker 1: Calcote special personally special to the podcast. The most regular

9
00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,480
Speaker 1: guest we've ever had in your back now. I don't

10
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:48,680
Speaker 1: know how many you've been to lots.

11
00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:53,639
Speaker 2: Thank you guys for like keeping uh, keep on requesting

12
00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,440
Speaker 2: me to come back and Griz for you to keep

13
00:00:56,640 --> 00:00:58,960
Speaker 2: asking me to come back. Man, it's privilege and honor.

14
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:02,200
Speaker 1: Man. No, that's exactly how I feel about you, because

15
00:01:02,240 --> 00:01:04,280
Speaker 1: you add to my life. The reason I bring you

16
00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:07,360
Speaker 1: on this podcast is because you bring to my life

17
00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:12,360
Speaker 1: so much wisdom and so much grounding to whatever I

18
00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,600
Speaker 1: have going on and when I have questions, and so

19
00:01:15,680 --> 00:01:17,840
Speaker 1: I want to bring you here to be able to

20
00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:21,240
Speaker 1: give that out to the people that ask the questions here.

21
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,040
Speaker 1: Because you're just such an asset and you're just so wise.

22
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,479
Speaker 1: I appreciate that.

23
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:27,080
Speaker 3: Well, thank you so much.

24
00:01:27,959 --> 00:01:31,560
Speaker 1: You are going this weekend. What you told me is,

25
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,679
Speaker 1: I was setting up this podcasting, You're going to do

26
00:01:36,680 --> 00:01:39,720
Speaker 1: the most physically difficult thing you've ever done in your

27
00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:40,640
Speaker 1: entire life.

28
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:45,160
Speaker 2: Please tell me that and possibly the dumbest I mean.

29
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:48,559
Speaker 1: Are tied pretty well. Yeah.

30
00:01:48,600 --> 00:01:51,400
Speaker 2: So I got into trail running a while back, and

31
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:54,160
Speaker 2: just I love getting lost in the woods. If you've

32
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,000
Speaker 2: listened to this for any amount of time, you know

33
00:01:56,040 --> 00:01:59,200
Speaker 2: I love to get out in the woods with nothing

34
00:01:59,200 --> 00:02:02,640
Speaker 2: but nature and you know, talk to God and get lost.

35
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,600
Speaker 3: So start trail running. Kind of got into it.

36
00:02:05,800 --> 00:02:08,480
Speaker 2: And yes, I'm gonna do a fifty k up in

37
00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:09,600
Speaker 2: cleveborand Texas.

38
00:02:10,320 --> 00:02:11,920
Speaker 1: So how how far is fifty k?

39
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:17,360
Speaker 2: Thirty two miles? And there's roughly four to five thousand

40
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:21,400
Speaker 2: feet of elevation game throughout the race, so it's gonna

41
00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,440
Speaker 2: be pretty physically demanding. There's a lot of guys out there,

42
00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:26,359
Speaker 2: I'm sure listening who have done you know, fifty milers

43
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:28,760
Speaker 2: or a hundred miles and not a lot the ultra

44
00:02:29,200 --> 00:02:32,359
Speaker 2: The ultra world is really big and I'm just kind

45
00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:33,360
Speaker 2: of dipping my toe into it.

46
00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:34,919
Speaker 3: But for me, where I'm at in my journey.

47
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:38,959
Speaker 2: This will definitely be the hardest thing physically possibly mentally,

48
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:42,640
Speaker 2: because when you get into these things, your mind will

49
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,640
Speaker 2: just You're out in the middle of nowhere. It's not

50
00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,480
Speaker 2: like you on a marathon you have like people clapping

51
00:02:47,480 --> 00:02:49,720
Speaker 2: for you on the side throughout the race. It's like

52
00:02:49,760 --> 00:02:53,400
Speaker 2: you're out there by yourself and your mind can just start.

53
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:56,960
Speaker 1: Okay, how long will this take you?

54
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:03,000
Speaker 2: I'm not sure, maybe between six and eight hours, Like, okay,

55
00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,880
Speaker 2: never run this course, don't really know. So Okay, if

56
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,920
Speaker 2: y'all want to be praying for something next Saturday or

57
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,000
Speaker 2: this Saturday.

58
00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:11,880
Speaker 1: Or it will by the time the podcast, it will

59
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:12,720
Speaker 1: have already happened.

60
00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:16,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's crazy. So if I die in this race,

61
00:03:16,360 --> 00:03:19,400
Speaker 2: I love you guys. This is coming from beyond the grave.

62
00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:20,360
Speaker 3: I'm with Jesus.

63
00:03:20,919 --> 00:03:25,120
Speaker 1: Uh. What tell me about your the the nutrition you

64
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:27,560
Speaker 1: have the morning of. Maybe let's start with the night

65
00:03:27,639 --> 00:03:30,519
Speaker 1: before and then the morning of. This is so off

66
00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:32,640
Speaker 1: topic of what we typically talk about on the podcast.

67
00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:35,000
Speaker 1: I think it's great. So night before, what are you eating?

68
00:03:36,040 --> 00:03:40,320
Speaker 2: Okay, so pretty much this whole week is kind of

69
00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:42,880
Speaker 2: a taper week. So you're car bloating, we're eating like

70
00:03:43,040 --> 00:03:45,560
Speaker 2: pretty much like a raccoon, anything that I possibly can,

71
00:03:45,640 --> 00:03:48,560
Speaker 2: because I've been burning so many calories doing you know,

72
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:51,080
Speaker 2: six or seven hours of running on a trail per

73
00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:54,280
Speaker 2: week for the last six eight weeks. So this week

74
00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:56,160
Speaker 2: is kind of like you taper down and then you're

75
00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:59,240
Speaker 2: just eating kind of everything you I've been coached that

76
00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,600
Speaker 2: you want to eat more sugar than usual, Like I

77
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,720
Speaker 2: don't usually eat like little candies and stuff, but you

78
00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,040
Speaker 2: want to like lace the muscles with sugar, which I

79
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,760
Speaker 2: guess is the thing you're gonna need whenever you get

80
00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:14,000
Speaker 2: into endurance. And so the night before probably something carb heavy.

81
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:18,159
Speaker 2: The morning of I've been advised to like probably start

82
00:04:18,880 --> 00:04:22,119
Speaker 2: lower calorie, like you don't want to like load a bunch,

83
00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,760
Speaker 2: but you're gonna be eating, you know, probably eight hundred

84
00:04:25,839 --> 00:04:29,520
Speaker 2: calories per hour kind of like that you're out there.

85
00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,840
Speaker 3: Hydration is another really where do you put that stuff?

86
00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:35,280
Speaker 2: So they have like drop bags that you can have

87
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:39,280
Speaker 2: like at different locations, or if you have something like

88
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,520
Speaker 2: I have like a vest that I'll run with that'll

89
00:04:41,520 --> 00:04:48,839
Speaker 2: have something in there with water bottles that have you know, electrolytes, sodium, potassium,

90
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:55,360
Speaker 2: magnesium in the water because if you lose sodium too

91
00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,520
Speaker 2: much and you get up into the you know, twenties

92
00:04:58,560 --> 00:05:02,920
Speaker 2: thirties of my ailes, and your body crashes like there's

93
00:05:02,920 --> 00:05:05,960
Speaker 2: no coming back. You get dehydrated, you can't get hydrated

94
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:09,880
Speaker 2: back enough. You know you're gonna crash. So we're just

95
00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,760
Speaker 2: trying to finish. We're trying to stay healthy.

96
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,560
Speaker 1: The goal to finish.

97
00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,159
Speaker 2: The goal is to finish. For me, the goal is

98
00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:17,479
Speaker 2: to finish. I know that some guys just you know,

99
00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,720
Speaker 2: are crazy and go for time, but I'm just gonna

100
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,479
Speaker 2: try to finish and then I'll come back and tell

101
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:25,799
Speaker 2: you guys how dumb of decision it was to sign.

102
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:25,960
Speaker 3: Up for this.

103
00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:27,839
Speaker 1: So that's amazing.

104
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:30,960
Speaker 2: But my wife honestly has been super supportive this. Like

105
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:33,760
Speaker 2: I said, this is not the wisest thing I've ever done,

106
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:37,200
Speaker 2: and she has just been amazing and like my biggest

107
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:38,560
Speaker 2: cheerleader through the training.

108
00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:43,320
Speaker 1: I don't know if it's I don't know, if it's unwise,

109
00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:50,240
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think debatable testing yourself like that

110
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:54,960
Speaker 1: mentally physically, and it's honestly, it's safely. I mean, you

111
00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:58,080
Speaker 1: got yeah. They probably have plenty of paramedics on standby

112
00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:00,719
Speaker 1: and people with radios. So it's it's safe, You're not

113
00:06:00,760 --> 00:06:02,640
Speaker 1: You're not reckless. Yeah, it's not careless.

114
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,600
Speaker 3: It's definitely not reckless.

115
00:06:03,640 --> 00:06:06,560
Speaker 2: And I feel like as much as I can have

116
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:09,440
Speaker 2: trained for something like this, I've done all that I

117
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:10,200
Speaker 2: can for sure.

118
00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:13,520
Speaker 1: I mean, is there a risk of doing the the

119
00:06:13,600 --> 00:06:16,840
Speaker 1: ankle fracturing the ankles or or the shin splints? What

120
00:06:17,200 --> 00:06:21,160
Speaker 1: is that when you actually fracture your shins? Well, I

121
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,520
Speaker 1: mean you can like David Goggins, yeah you can't.

122
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,160
Speaker 2: He's a yeah, he's a different guy, but you definitely

123
00:06:27,200 --> 00:06:31,040
Speaker 2: can run into these overuse injuries, which shin splints will

124
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,920
Speaker 2: be one of those, you know, ptelotenonitis. And honestly, if

125
00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,839
Speaker 2: anybody out there is thinking of doing any kind of

126
00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,800
Speaker 2: training for anything, that kind of pushes their limits. Like

127
00:06:41,839 --> 00:06:45,360
Speaker 2: Granger said, I think there really is something good about it,

128
00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:48,920
Speaker 2: the amount of self discovery that you find just through

129
00:06:48,960 --> 00:06:51,640
Speaker 2: the training, not even just getting to the start line,

130
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:53,840
Speaker 2: not even the finish and the actual race day. But

131
00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,080
Speaker 2: I feel like I've learned a lot about my ego,

132
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,680
Speaker 2: which I didn't think I had a lot of. But

133
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:00,480
Speaker 2: I do have a lot of ego that I've had

134
00:07:00,480 --> 00:07:03,719
Speaker 2: to die to and just work through. I think just

135
00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:07,479
Speaker 2: in that what you learn in that training of getting

136
00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:10,040
Speaker 2: shin splints, Okay, how do I still got three more

137
00:07:10,080 --> 00:07:13,320
Speaker 2: weeks of training? How do I like work through these

138
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:18,480
Speaker 2: kind of small you know, injuries or you know, annoyances

139
00:07:18,560 --> 00:07:22,360
Speaker 2: to like get out there and just keep going. There's

140
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,640
Speaker 2: something that's just very enlightening about that whole process that,

141
00:07:25,760 --> 00:07:27,480
Speaker 2: hopefully in the end, what it does is it gets

142
00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:30,240
Speaker 2: you to the end or to the start line with

143
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:32,960
Speaker 2: confidence and just understanding yourself.

144
00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:33,240
Speaker 3: A little more.

145
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,840
Speaker 1: Whenever you text me something very profound about life or

146
00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:42,240
Speaker 1: about the Bible, it's typically after one of your training runs. Yeah, yeah,

147
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:46,119
Speaker 1: Which is interesting because Jesus was tempted for forty days

148
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:49,840
Speaker 1: in the desert, but he was tempted after forty days

149
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:55,640
Speaker 1: of fasting, no water, no food, and and that the

150
00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:58,120
Speaker 1: temptation came at the end of that. It's so interesting

151
00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:00,800
Speaker 1: that that's and that was the begining of his ministry.

152
00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:03,840
Speaker 1: That's how his ministry started, was through that temptation first,

153
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:09,760
Speaker 1: through that extreme body deprivation. And so that it explains

154
00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:12,480
Speaker 1: why you come up with these profound things that you

155
00:08:12,600 --> 00:08:16,040
Speaker 1: just think about and you meditate on through the running

156
00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:18,720
Speaker 1: through body deprivation. Yeah.

157
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:19,840
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a good point.

158
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:25,040
Speaker 1: Interesting. Yeah, well, so on this podcast we answer your question.

159
00:08:25,120 --> 00:08:28,640
Speaker 1: So this is it's a very untypical that I would

160
00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:32,600
Speaker 1: ask questions to someone else, So thank you, dude. I

161
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:35,240
Speaker 1: want to mention something coming out of this break. Okay,

162
00:08:35,240 --> 00:08:37,600
Speaker 1: so after the first break, I want to mention something

163
00:08:37,640 --> 00:08:41,520
Speaker 1: that I think is very interesting that involves Bernie. I'll

164
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:43,760
Speaker 1: talk about it then, So hang tight for about ten

165
00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:46,240
Speaker 1: more minutes. Let's get into some questions, which is what

166
00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,599
Speaker 1: we typically do. We answer your questions. Email me Grangersmith

167
00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:54,840
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. Putting my phone on airplane

168
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:56,920
Speaker 1: mode to stop getting text and I'm going to go

169
00:08:56,960 --> 00:09:00,240
Speaker 1: to the first question I have here, subject line as

170
00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:06,640
Speaker 1: missing toxic people. Email says, Hey, I was wondering how

171
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:10,240
Speaker 1: come when I drink I miss the most toxic people

172
00:09:10,360 --> 00:09:13,200
Speaker 1: in my life. They used to be my friends, And

173
00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,480
Speaker 1: when I drink, even just with a buzz, I end

174
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,920
Speaker 1: up messaging them. I became friends with them again before

175
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:21,880
Speaker 1: because of it, and it always ends up the same

176
00:09:23,760 --> 00:09:31,040
Speaker 1: very simple email. That's it. Why you look at me

177
00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:39,880
Speaker 1: like that? Uh no, there's there's not a name. Okay, okay,

178
00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,319
Speaker 1: what's great about this? Podcast is that I feel like,

179
00:09:43,520 --> 00:09:46,400
Speaker 1: you know, we're sitting around a campfire and we get

180
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,000
Speaker 1: to look at things from the outside. We kind of

181
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,240
Speaker 1: hover over a problem that you're you, the writer of

182
00:09:52,280 --> 00:09:53,960
Speaker 1: this email, is right in the middle of it, and

183
00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,680
Speaker 1: it like doesn't make can see. But then we look

184
00:09:56,760 --> 00:10:01,240
Speaker 1: over it and we go, all right, bro, it's actually

185
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:05,800
Speaker 1: a girl. It's actually a girl. Okay, So we say, sister,

186
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,960
Speaker 1: what are you doing? Do you not see the connection

187
00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:15,400
Speaker 1: between you drink and you miss toxic people? You text

188
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:17,640
Speaker 1: them and it ends up being the same. So what's

189
00:10:17,679 --> 00:10:24,000
Speaker 1: the common denominator in your question? What can you control? Yeah? Drinking?

190
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so easy.

191
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:33,240
Speaker 1: The one thing you can control is don't drink and

192
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,160
Speaker 1: the cycle stops.

193
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,959
Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like those people, the connections that you

194
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:43,160
Speaker 2: made with those people were in the context of drinking.

195
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,280
Speaker 2: So even though the people are gone, it makes sense

196
00:10:46,320 --> 00:10:48,439
Speaker 2: that when you start to do that thing that connected

197
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:53,360
Speaker 2: connected you, you would think about those people. And in

198
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,080
Speaker 2: this case maybe it's an you're calling them toxic, so

199
00:10:56,120 --> 00:10:57,240
Speaker 2: it's an unhealthy thing.

200
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:01,040
Speaker 1: So don't drink.

201
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,720
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean you could.

202
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:06,160
Speaker 2: Say not drink, or you could say, hey, we probably

203
00:11:06,679 --> 00:11:09,320
Speaker 2: need to find some new friends. That can help us

204
00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:13,360
Speaker 2: form better healthy habits around drinking and then make those connections.

205
00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:18,080
Speaker 2: So whenever you drink, it's in moderation, and it's in

206
00:11:18,120 --> 00:11:21,920
Speaker 2: the context of like, oh, that those unhealthy, toxic things

207
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:24,720
Speaker 2: are no longer a part of this thing that can

208
00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:25,400
Speaker 2: still be.

209
00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:27,400
Speaker 1: And for now, don't drink.

210
00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:27,880
Speaker 3: But for.

211
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,520
Speaker 2: I love Margaret like good cop, bad cop.

212
00:11:34,400 --> 00:11:38,120
Speaker 1: Next question. This question, The subjectline says, I need some advice.

213
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:41,400
Speaker 1: Hey Grangeer, my name is Brennan. I'm sixteen from Colorado.

214
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,400
Speaker 1: I have liked this girl for a long time. We're

215
00:11:44,400 --> 00:11:47,280
Speaker 1: best friends. We sleep in the same bed when she

216
00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,600
Speaker 1: comes over, and act like a couple besides telling each

217
00:11:50,600 --> 00:11:52,800
Speaker 1: other I love you. I told her I liked her

218
00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,800
Speaker 1: and asked her out. She told me she liked me too,

219
00:11:55,920 --> 00:11:59,120
Speaker 1: but wasn't ready for a relationship. So I gave her

220
00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,000
Speaker 1: a year or so and asked her if she would

221
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,720
Speaker 1: ever want to get back into a relationship with me

222
00:12:03,840 --> 00:12:05,640
Speaker 1: or I would be waiting for the rest of my life.

223
00:12:06,120 --> 00:12:07,920
Speaker 1: She told me she didn't know, and then got with

224
00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,120
Speaker 1: a boy the next day. They are still together. Do

225
00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:14,360
Speaker 1: I let her go stay friends? Do I let her

226
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:18,520
Speaker 1: know she hurt me? What do I do? Love the podcast.

227
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:23,720
Speaker 1: Brandon Brandon Brennan outside looking in. You're sixteen years old

228
00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:37,000
Speaker 1: in Colorado. Stop it. It wasn't a joke. Bernieh Owth Today.

229
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:39,319
Speaker 3: Brennan, don't drink. Stop it, stop it, stop it.

230
00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:43,560
Speaker 1: What are you doing? Man? God Lee Brennan. I wish

231
00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:46,200
Speaker 1: I was in your town with you. I wish I

232
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,520
Speaker 1: could take you to coffee? All right?

233
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:49,480
Speaker 2: Can I can I play advocate for Brennan?

234
00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:50,439
Speaker 1: Real quick? Yogo go?

235
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:54,880
Speaker 2: He's sixteen. His brain is not fully formed yet. Okay,

236
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:58,760
Speaker 2: you gotta remember that twenty five. If he's twenty six,

237
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,400
Speaker 2: maybe we hold him two highs and her but males

238
00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:03,360
Speaker 2: frontal cortex I ain't formed yet.

239
00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:04,640
Speaker 3: Many he is.

240
00:13:05,520 --> 00:13:09,319
Speaker 1: Baby, He's got nobody in his life. He's got this girl, Brenda.

241
00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:11,800
Speaker 1: You got this girl coming over and she's staying with

242
00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,000
Speaker 1: you in the same bed. Where are you staying?

243
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:15,959
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a good question.

244
00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, like mom's letting that happen.

245
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, And of course you're gonna like her.

246
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:24,319
Speaker 2: Sixteen years old girl comes over, So you said your bed?

247
00:13:24,440 --> 00:13:25,559
Speaker 3: Yeah, I like her?

248
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:32,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. So's his question is do I let her go?

249
00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:34,320
Speaker 1: Let's go through each of his questions. Do I let

250
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:39,080
Speaker 1: her go yes, yes, do we stay friends? No? Do

251
00:13:39,160 --> 00:13:43,679
Speaker 1: I let her know she hurts me? Nah? Yeah, just

252
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:48,160
Speaker 1: block her, Just block her. And the best thing you

253
00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,320
Speaker 1: could do, because you said, what do I do? The

254
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:54,200
Speaker 1: best thing you could do is learn from this, this

255
00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:57,520
Speaker 1: feeling you have right now, this feeling of betrayal. She

256
00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:01,640
Speaker 1: hurt you. You gave her heart, you gave away your heart.

257
00:14:01,880 --> 00:14:04,839
Speaker 1: You told her everything you said you wanted to be

258
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:08,199
Speaker 1: in a relationship, you said you liked her or whatever

259
00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:11,840
Speaker 1: you said. You slept with her, all these things that

260
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:15,319
Speaker 1: you did. Don't do it again because you feel this feeling,

261
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,440
Speaker 1: you feel what this feels like. You have to think

262
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:21,200
Speaker 1: this stuff through. You can't dive in. You have to

263
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:27,400
Speaker 1: know these things. Just wait, you're sixteen. Just wait. There's

264
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:29,680
Speaker 1: no need to jump into this kind of stuff right now. Okay,

265
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:34,720
Speaker 1: let her go block her? Good? Yeah, good, okay, next

266
00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:41,240
Speaker 1: question rolling something line? Oh that was next question, says

267
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:45,360
Speaker 1: hey Grangeer, hoping to keep my name confidential. I was

268
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,360
Speaker 1: wondering if you could help me this last December. I

269
00:14:49,440 --> 00:14:52,160
Speaker 1: had broken up with my girlfriend about a year and

270
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:56,000
Speaker 1: it didn't end well. We're both missing each other. I

271
00:14:56,120 --> 00:15:00,440
Speaker 1: was the one who initiated the breakup, but it was

272
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:03,600
Speaker 1: only because I couldn't handle everything in the relationship. During

273
00:15:03,640 --> 00:15:07,720
Speaker 1: the relationship, we decided we would wait for marriage for

274
00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:13,080
Speaker 1: anything of that nature. For about four months we broke up.

275
00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,800
Speaker 1: She decided after one night she wanted to sleep with

276
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:19,280
Speaker 1: another guy off of a limb.

277
00:15:19,480 --> 00:15:21,200
Speaker 3: I don't know what that means, off of a limb,

278
00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:22,920
Speaker 3: on a whim.

279
00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,440
Speaker 1: I think it was on a whim. I heard this

280
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,560
Speaker 1: from one of our friends that she stayed in contact with,

281
00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 1: and I felt betrayed. Should I not be feeling this way?

282
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:35,680
Speaker 1: Is there anything that I could do to help myself

283
00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:39,120
Speaker 1: in this situation? Or am I just overreacting? Thanks for

284
00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:44,200
Speaker 1: all you do. Okay, man, it's almost the same question. Yeah,

285
00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:49,320
Speaker 1: it's like the same scenario went down again. Let me

286
00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:55,040
Speaker 1: rescan here. He initiated a breakup because it was toxic,

287
00:15:56,040 --> 00:16:01,600
Speaker 1: and you guys decided to wait for marriage. After the breakup,

288
00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,880
Speaker 1: she goes right into a new one. You feel betrayed, Yeah,

289
00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:12,200
Speaker 1: you should leave her block her. If it was up

290
00:16:12,240 --> 00:16:14,440
Speaker 1: to me, I would say next question, But Bernie's.

291
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:14,760
Speaker 3: Got to say something.

292
00:16:16,440 --> 00:16:19,400
Speaker 2: No, I'm trying to find anything to add more than that, Like,

293
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:22,680
Speaker 2: I think it's okay to feel what you're feeling and

294
00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:26,720
Speaker 2: feel betrayed for you, guys to have this relationship. You

295
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:31,720
Speaker 2: did decide to break it off, but like you didn't say, hey,

296
00:16:31,760 --> 00:16:33,240
Speaker 2: let's break it off and then you go sleep with

297
00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:35,360
Speaker 2: somebody else. So I mean, I could see how y'all

298
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,480
Speaker 2: probably talked about some things and then she kind of

299
00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:41,160
Speaker 2: went a different direction. But I think it's easy to

300
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,480
Speaker 2: kind of look back and wish that or kind of

301
00:16:45,480 --> 00:16:50,760
Speaker 2: see things maybe differently as they were. There was a

302
00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:54,040
Speaker 2: reason that you broke up. There's a reason that she

303
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,680
Speaker 2: is kind of moving in the direction that she is.

304
00:16:57,720 --> 00:17:02,960
Speaker 2: I probably wouldn't give her any more attention. I would

305
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,080
Speaker 2: guard your heart and just kind of move on. And

306
00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,920
Speaker 2: same thing that I would say to this. I don't

307
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:10,600
Speaker 2: know how old you are. You didn't say right no,

308
00:17:10,880 --> 00:17:13,800
Speaker 2: but other sixteen year old, maybe you're in your teens

309
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:18,399
Speaker 2: early twenties. Find a hobby, leave the girls alone for

310
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,840
Speaker 2: a while, guys like find something that you can just

311
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:26,399
Speaker 2: like put yourself into, and yea, there's time for that

312
00:17:26,520 --> 00:17:26,919
Speaker 2: later on.

313
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:27,440
Speaker 1: It good.

314
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,359
Speaker 2: Once your brain's formed and your heart has a little

315
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:31,440
Speaker 2: more experience.

316
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:36,520
Speaker 1: It's good. All right, We're gonna get into something deeper here.

317
00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:40,679
Speaker 1: Sevic client says how to help my son. Hey, Grangdeer,

318
00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:43,240
Speaker 1: Hope you're doing good. Been a listener listener of yours

319
00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,560
Speaker 1: for years. Love everything you do. Thanks for being an inspiration.

320
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:50,400
Speaker 1: I'm writing you today about my step son. He's sixteen

321
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:54,120
Speaker 1: years old. He's into death metal music, loves horror movies

322
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:58,920
Speaker 1: at times, seems infasciated with the devil and all things dark.

323
00:17:59,160 --> 00:18:01,840
Speaker 1: I am a Christian, and the deeper my faith has

324
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,919
Speaker 1: gotten over the past few years, the harder this topic

325
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:08,160
Speaker 1: seems to be. My stepson and I have gone head

326
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:11,400
Speaker 1: to head in regards to his clothing choices. He thinks

327
00:18:11,400 --> 00:18:14,920
Speaker 1: it's fine to wear upside down crosses, devil pictures, etc.

328
00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:18,159
Speaker 1: On his clothing. To him, it's just a style and

329
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,560
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean anything to him. I find this unacceptable.

330
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:24,199
Speaker 1: It had gotten so bad at the beginning of the

331
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:26,879
Speaker 1: school year that he had threatened to move back to

332
00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:30,240
Speaker 1: his mom's house because we didn't allow him to be himself.

333
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:33,600
Speaker 1: We have tried to compromise to keep him here. It's

334
00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,040
Speaker 1: better and safer environment here than at his mom's. We

335
00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:40,320
Speaker 1: have allowed him or at the other home, excuse me,

336
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:43,560
Speaker 1: we have allowed him not to attend church every weekend

337
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 1: with us. I think he missaid that. I think he

338
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:51,560
Speaker 1: missaid that just once a month. We've allowed him to know, Okay, okay,

339
00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:52,760
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to go to church. I got it.

340
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,000
Speaker 1: We've allowed him to not attend church every weekend, just

341
00:18:55,119 --> 00:18:58,880
Speaker 1: once a month, gotcha. He told us when he attends

342
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:01,840
Speaker 1: church he feels like he he's being choked. We have

343
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:05,280
Speaker 1: slacked off some on the clothing. We said he could

344
00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 1: wear band shirts if it's a little darker, but that

345
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,120
Speaker 1: was it. We have drawn the line and the sand

346
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,800
Speaker 1: in regards to this. Lately, he's becoming more and more

347
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:18,640
Speaker 1: into the dark side and ask a lot of questions

348
00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,719
Speaker 1: about the anti Christ exorcisms, and even gone as far

349
00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,360
Speaker 1: as to pretend he's possessed to try and scare us.

350
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:27,720
Speaker 1: We have told him to stop, but he thinks it's

351
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:31,960
Speaker 1: quite entertaining to get us worked up. Tonight, at our

352
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:36,280
Speaker 1: younger son's baseball game, he told my husband and some

353
00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:40,879
Speaker 1: family that I am scared of him. He finds joy

354
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:44,040
Speaker 1: in this. My question is how do we handle this?

355
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:47,520
Speaker 1: What's a good next step for us? I feel like

356
00:19:47,640 --> 00:19:49,920
Speaker 1: I have tried to stand our ground and really nothing

357
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,919
Speaker 1: has helped. He is currently in counseling, and the counselor

358
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:54,960
Speaker 1: says she is working on this as well. Any advice

359
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:59,320
Speaker 1: would be great, God bless Anonymous recapping for me, this

360
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:04,000
Speaker 1: is a woman speaking about a step son. So she

361
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,920
Speaker 1: has married a man and this is this is her

362
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:13,080
Speaker 1: new husband's son who's sixteen. The mom, the biological mother,

363
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:19,359
Speaker 1: is not a It doesn't have a good living situation. Okay.

364
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,480
Speaker 1: I think those are my facts here.

365
00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 2: And not too much mentioned about dad.

366
00:20:27,119 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 1: No, not a lot of mention about dad.

367
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,400
Speaker 2: That was the first thing I was wondering, where's Dad,

368
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:38,720
Speaker 2: what's he doing? Yeah, first, just want to empathize, like

369
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:43,520
Speaker 2: I can only imagine what you're going through with a child,

370
00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:46,320
Speaker 2: even you know, if it's a step child, not a

371
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:50,280
Speaker 2: bio even so, this just has to be really heartbreaking

372
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:53,560
Speaker 2: for you. And I don't want to minimize the weight

373
00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 2: of the responsibility and the burden that you're probably carrying

374
00:20:58,160 --> 00:20:59,240
Speaker 2: seeing this play out.

375
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 3: So I just want to say that first.

376
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:04,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree what I want to do because I

377
00:21:04,160 --> 00:21:06,400
Speaker 1: think this is complex and I have some stuff to say.

378
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,840
Speaker 1: I want I want to really dig into this. So

379
00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:11,320
Speaker 1: I want to take a break and come back and

380
00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:14,000
Speaker 1: get back to this question because we're running a little

381
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:20,000
Speaker 1: bit long. Okay, We'll be right back. Thanks for listening

382
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:21,680
Speaker 1: to the podcast, y'all. You know, if you ever want

383
00:21:21,720 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 1: to get a hold of me, get a personal message

384
00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 1: from me, the easiest way to do that is cameo

385
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:31,000
Speaker 1: dot com slash Granger Smith. You go there and you

386
00:21:31,760 --> 00:21:34,440
Speaker 1: request anything you want me to say, and you fill

387
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,760
Speaker 1: it out, and it's super simple. It goes to my

388
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:39,480
Speaker 1: phone and then I record you a video message back.

389
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:44,000
Speaker 1: So it could be like happy birthday, mom, or congratulations

390
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,439
Speaker 1: on graduating to my son or my brother, or happy

391
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: anniversary or a baby announcement, or encouragement words. It could

392
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,040
Speaker 1: be really anything. And I've been doing cameo for several

393
00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,160
Speaker 1: years and it goes on my phone and it gives

394
00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:58,960
Speaker 1: me a few days to record it, and then, you know,

395
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,400
Speaker 1: if I'm on the road and some reason I don't

396
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: get it in time, it just kicks it back up

397
00:22:03,560 --> 00:22:06,080
Speaker 1: and allows me to have a few more minutes to

398
00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 1: do it for you. It's super easy. You could also

399
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:11,200
Speaker 1: download the cameo app and search for me Granger Smith.

400
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,520
Speaker 1: It's an easy way for us to stay in touch

401
00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,560
Speaker 1: and for you to get a personalized video from me

402
00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,840
Speaker 1: straight from my phone. And although I am quitting touring,

403
00:22:20,440 --> 00:22:24,160
Speaker 1: that is correct. I am quitting music touring. I'm still

404
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,400
Speaker 1: doing yeee apparel like that's not going away. So yeye

405
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 1: dot com is still alive and well, my brother Parker

406
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaker 1: is still running it, and my brother Tyler is still

407
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:35,720
Speaker 1: working with us, so is Chris. Everyone's still on the team.

408
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,760
Speaker 1: I'm just not music touring. Does that make sense? So yeah,

409
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:42,600
Speaker 1: ye yee you can still rocket back to the podcast,

410
00:22:47,119 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 1: all right, back to the podcast. I promised something at

411
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,000
Speaker 1: the very beginning of last break that I was gonna

412
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: say something after the break, and here we go. I

413
00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 1: feel like me and you could do a live podcast

414
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:02,800
Speaker 1: one of these days. I've mentioned it before, and now

415
00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 1: that touring we've announced music touring is over, I feel

416
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 1: like you would Wait, well, I feel like now that

417
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:15,159
Speaker 1: now that I have availability, not that I have a

418
00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:19,160
Speaker 1: lot of time, but there's time for the podcast now

419
00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,200
Speaker 1: to travel. So I kind of want to know if

420
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:26,080
Speaker 1: you comment below here, if you're able to comment, if

421
00:23:26,080 --> 00:23:28,840
Speaker 1: we should do like a test city or if we

422
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,960
Speaker 1: should just go out and do like three cities. If

423
00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: you want to do a din like should we do

424
00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,359
Speaker 1: a dinner with tables? Or should we just do a

425
00:23:36,400 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: theater where you're sitting in seats.

426
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:39,920
Speaker 3: And would you come?

427
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:43,400
Speaker 1: Yeah? Would you come? And so it's be like we

428
00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:45,200
Speaker 1: we would have a stage and we would have like

429
00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:49,000
Speaker 1: a couch or something, and we would have these microphones

430
00:23:49,040 --> 00:23:50,480
Speaker 1: and we would just hold them and then we would

431
00:23:50,520 --> 00:23:53,000
Speaker 1: have people out in the crowd and they would we'd

432
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,880
Speaker 1: have somebody walking around a microphone. Someone has their hand

433
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,960
Speaker 1: up basically just spit firing here, and you just go

434
00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,919
Speaker 1: out and hand them the microphone. They asked the question,

435
00:24:01,520 --> 00:24:04,720
Speaker 1: and me, you and Chad and Parker or whoever, or

436
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,520
Speaker 1: just me and you are whatever, slowly walk through it

437
00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 1: like a campfire?

438
00:24:09,640 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 3: Could we have a campfire on the sun?

439
00:24:11,359 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe we should make a fake can fake campfire?

440
00:24:13,840 --> 00:24:15,719
Speaker 3: Yeah? I love it.

441
00:24:15,760 --> 00:24:19,480
Speaker 1: I'm in Okay, back to the question at hand. Here,

442
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:23,399
Speaker 1: this is the question about the step son. Mother is

443
00:24:23,480 --> 00:24:26,920
Speaker 1: writing about her step son who's sixteen and he's into

444
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:31,680
Speaker 1: all this satanic stuff, and she says she's a Christian

445
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:35,479
Speaker 1: and as her faith has gotten deeper, this is harder

446
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,560
Speaker 1: to accept this kind of stuff from her step son,

447
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:41,560
Speaker 1: all his choices and what he's doing, and she's forcing

448
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:46,240
Speaker 1: him to go to church once a month. So the

449
00:24:46,320 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 1: first thing I want to do here is I want

450
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:52,639
Speaker 1: to take this mirror and kind of flip it around

451
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,920
Speaker 1: a little bit to the writer of this email, a

452
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: little bit where we're looking a lot at the step son,

453
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,600
Speaker 1: and I want to kind of make sure that we're

454
00:25:02,600 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 1: looking at ourselves in the mirror here, making sure we're

455
00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:10,200
Speaker 1: not becoming the Pharisee and saying I tithe, and I

456
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:14,159
Speaker 1: do this, and I do that, and I prayed a

457
00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 1: thousand times a day, and thank God, I'm not like

458
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: this poor tax collector. And then you get this idea

459
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 1: of the tax collector who beats his chest and says, oh, God,

460
00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,760
Speaker 1: have mercy on me a sinner. And I'm not saying

461
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,080
Speaker 1: that the sixteen year old is repenting in any way.

462
00:25:34,119 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 1: I'm just saying we have to be careful when we're

463
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:40,800
Speaker 1: just going, oh, this person is despicable to me, and

464
00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:43,399
Speaker 1: I'm drawing a line in the sand and I'm dragging

465
00:25:43,440 --> 00:25:49,119
Speaker 1: him the church. Kind of where's the love in this email? Like,

466
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:52,879
Speaker 1: I haven't I didn't see it one time. I didn't

467
00:25:52,920 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 1: see I don't think I didn't see ever in a

468
00:25:56,760 --> 00:26:02,480
Speaker 1: pretty long email. I didn't see anything that says our heart.

469
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:04,479
Speaker 2: Our hearts are broken, Our hearts are broken.

470
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:10,399
Speaker 1: We love him, We love him, he has he has

471
00:26:10,480 --> 00:26:14,159
Speaker 1: so much going for him in life and and it

472
00:26:14,320 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 1: just breaks my heart to see him on this path.

473
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 1: Where's that? So we have to start there. And I

474
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:23,120
Speaker 1: think if you don't start there, and if you don't

475
00:26:23,119 --> 00:26:26,159
Speaker 1: feel that, and if that's not part of of your

476
00:26:26,359 --> 00:26:31,639
Speaker 1: your your intention, are you a Christian too? Why are you?

477
00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:34,320
Speaker 3: Yeah?

478
00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,400
Speaker 2: I think that's a great thing to ask yourself, because

479
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 2: if you and Griz and I and anybody out there listening, like,

480
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:49,040
Speaker 2: actually stop and consider the grace that we have been

481
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:57,440
Speaker 2: given and we have received that free gift, there's there's

482
00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:00,800
Speaker 2: nothing but that same grace that we would want to

483
00:27:00,880 --> 00:27:05,800
Speaker 2: extend to others, even a step son who you know,

484
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,560
Speaker 2: may seem like he is just you know, completely gone.

485
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,720
Speaker 2: First of all, that grace will be the only thing

486
00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:20,879
Speaker 2: that corrects his course or guides his course in a

487
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,240
Speaker 2: way that you really want. It's not going to be

488
00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:27,280
Speaker 2: by your condemnation, your rules, your laws, you know all

489
00:27:27,320 --> 00:27:33,560
Speaker 2: that stuff. So I think, with echoing what Griz just said,

490
00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:36,080
Speaker 2: I think you got to stop and consider God's grace

491
00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:38,000
Speaker 2: in your own life. Do you really get it? Do

492
00:27:38,080 --> 00:27:42,399
Speaker 2: you really understand it and accept it and then extend it.

493
00:27:43,960 --> 00:27:46,760
Speaker 3: And if not, it's okay. His mercy is new.

494
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:49,359
Speaker 2: Every morning we get to wake up and say, you

495
00:27:49,359 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 2: know what, I.

496
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:50,840
Speaker 3: Haven't been.

497
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:56,040
Speaker 2: That gracious, I haven't been that patient, And maybe think

498
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,960
Speaker 2: of ways that you get to extend that to him.

499
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:04,840
Speaker 2: And I guarantee you just knowing the truth of grace

500
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,800
Speaker 2: and love and and and what it will beget and

501
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:14,080
Speaker 2: what condemnation and law and rules will beget. I guarantee

502
00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 2: you if you start that process with him, it may

503
00:28:16,440 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 2: take a little while, and it may push you past

504
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 2: your comfort level, you know, speaking of like endurance and

505
00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,639
Speaker 2: like pushing past your comfort level. It may push you there,

506
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 2: especially with the child. But if ultimately what you want

507
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 2: is for him to be in the arms of God

508
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:36,400
Speaker 2: and in God's grace and living a healthy, obedient life

509
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 2: in that way, I think grace is going to be

510
00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:40,320
Speaker 2: your avenue to do that.

511
00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so well said, And ma'am I we have

512
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 1: to we have to also put ourselves in his position.

513
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 1: Look look at the world from his position. He's gotta

514
00:28:54,480 --> 00:28:57,880
Speaker 1: he's got a split family, his mom, whatever is going

515
00:28:57,920 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 1: on at mom's house. You say, it's not a good

516
00:28:59,760 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 1: good not a good place to be. So he's got

517
00:29:02,000 --> 00:29:05,000
Speaker 1: that going on. You didn't mention anything about dad. The

518
00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:09,000
Speaker 1: guy's got a lot going on. And and when someone

519
00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:12,480
Speaker 1: is outside of Christ, as obviously this sixteen year old

520
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:17,400
Speaker 1: kid is outside of Christ. Right, when someone is outside

521
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:22,440
Speaker 1: of Christ, then it doesn't it doesn't surprise me anything

522
00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 1: that they would do. It doesn't surprise me. If you

523
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 1: said he's he's shaving his head and he's joining all

524
00:29:28,600 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: kinds of racist organizations, or he's going he's going off

525
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,480
Speaker 1: and he's chasing aliens in Roswell, New Mexico. Or he's

526
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:41,480
Speaker 1: out there and like throwing flowers with hippies. He's out,

527
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:45,840
Speaker 1: he's out dressing up as as bunny rabbits and hopping

528
00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 1: around Istanbul. It could say, you could say anything, and

529
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:52,320
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna I'm not going to be surprised. It

530
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,400
Speaker 1: just so happens. This particular story is death metal and

531
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:59,959
Speaker 1: horror movies and gothic type Satan worship. It doesn't surprise.

532
00:30:00,960 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: There's not a level once you're outside of Christ. There's

533
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,720
Speaker 1: not a level of surprise that I that I get.

534
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:09,960
Speaker 1: I just go, Yeah, it doesn't have the Holy Spirit

535
00:30:10,040 --> 00:30:15,000
Speaker 1: living in them? What do we expect? So with everything

536
00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 1: we've said, come the foundation of what we built that

537
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:21,160
Speaker 1: come at this as grace. Look at yourself? Are you

538
00:30:21,160 --> 00:30:26,800
Speaker 1: yourself saved? Are you coming at this with love? Mercy?

539
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:31,479
Speaker 1: With all that, now, let's look at where's your common ground?

540
00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 1: Someone's gonna have to find common ground with this kid,

541
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,120
Speaker 1: whether you or the dad. I'm hoping it's the dad,

542
00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:41,720
Speaker 1: But if not, what's common ground? What's something you both

543
00:30:41,880 --> 00:30:44,760
Speaker 1: share that you like. Is it a food? Is it

544
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:49,200
Speaker 1: a vacation spot? Is it we know it's not music?

545
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,680
Speaker 1: Is it any where? Is the common ground? Lean into that?

546
00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:57,920
Speaker 1: Learn Learn to play a video game. I'm telling you,

547
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:00,960
Speaker 1: learn to play a video game. If that means you're

548
00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:04,000
Speaker 1: gonna be in there with him, If you're gonna be

549
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,200
Speaker 1: in there with this video game that he plays at

550
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:08,719
Speaker 1: ten o'clock at night, be in there with him and

551
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,840
Speaker 1: play it and challenge him in it. If that means

552
00:31:12,080 --> 00:31:15,640
Speaker 1: quality time together to build something. If he loves grilled

553
00:31:15,680 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: cheese sandwiches, learn to make them good. Learn to make

554
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,360
Speaker 1: them better than anyone. If he's an early riser, I

555
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:24,320
Speaker 1: don't think he is. If he's an early riser, learn

556
00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:26,920
Speaker 1: to make pancakes and have them ready when he gets up.

557
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 1: Find the way to his heart so that you could

558
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:32,240
Speaker 1: you could empathize with them, so that you could find

559
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: common ground, so then you could earn his trust through that.

560
00:31:35,840 --> 00:31:39,400
Speaker 1: Stop condemning this kid. Stop dragging him to church once

561
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: a month. Of course he feels choked. He's outside of Christ.

562
00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 1: It doesn't it's foolish to him. The Gospel is foolish

563
00:31:45,960 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 1: to this kid because he's outside of Christ.

564
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:54,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, preece, brother, that's good. Yeah.

565
00:31:54,560 --> 00:31:59,040
Speaker 2: I think that everything that Granger is saying is like,

566
00:31:59,080 --> 00:32:03,000
Speaker 2: if we define great unmerited favor, like he doesn't deserve

567
00:32:03,040 --> 00:32:05,160
Speaker 2: for you to find out how to make his favorite

568
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,080
Speaker 2: grilled cheese sandwich or to do all the things. And

569
00:32:09,160 --> 00:32:13,880
Speaker 2: someone that is full of hate will not live in

570
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 2: a house of grace. If you create a house full

571
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 2: of grace, he will either align or he will leave.

572
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:25,040
Speaker 2: And those are two realities that you're probably gonna have

573
00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 2: to face if not now down the road, he's not

574
00:32:28,040 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 2: even yours. Yea, His future, his destiny is not really

575
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: in your hands to control or to conform.

576
00:32:36,440 --> 00:32:37,320
Speaker 3: What we get.

577
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:39,280
Speaker 2: To do is steward them in the way of grace.

578
00:32:39,400 --> 00:32:42,640
Speaker 2: Create a house of grace, and maybe he will start

579
00:32:42,680 --> 00:32:45,200
Speaker 2: to align, he'll start to be like oh, because he'll

580
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 2: start to see the healthy habits. But if your house

581
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:52,920
Speaker 2: is dirty, you can't point at him and be like,

582
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:55,520
Speaker 2: why are you dirty? Take a second look around the house.

583
00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 2: I think if we, you know, start there.

584
00:32:58,400 --> 00:33:02,320
Speaker 1: Like you said, my neighbor told me this story. And

585
00:33:02,560 --> 00:33:06,680
Speaker 1: they've got a sixteen year old son and he is

586
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:09,400
Speaker 1: in he's in high school, you know, a first year

587
00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 1: in high School's driving and he's he's really into football.

588
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 1: He's gone all the time because he's either doing some

589
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: kind of two days are training or are weight lifting something,

590
00:33:20,480 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 1: or speed camp or football. And it's a new school

591
00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:25,960
Speaker 1: for him. So he's got his friends and so he

592
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 1: drives and he's gone most of the day. Pops in,

593
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:31,840
Speaker 1: he does something, he goes back out, and he's most

594
00:33:31,920 --> 00:33:34,480
Speaker 1: nights during the week he's missing dinner. And it was

595
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:37,880
Speaker 1: like making the mother upset. She's like, you know, I

596
00:33:37,920 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 1: miss my son. He's not here. You know, I'm I'm

597
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,720
Speaker 1: tired of just taking food and putting a paper towel

598
00:33:43,720 --> 00:33:45,480
Speaker 1: on it, putting the fridge and writing a note said

599
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:47,800
Speaker 1: I'm tired. She says, I'm tired like, I've got a

600
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: busy day too. You know, I've got three other kids

601
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 1: besides him, and so you know, I've got to make

602
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:54,720
Speaker 1: sure the house is clean. And then by the time

603
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,160
Speaker 1: we finished dinner, he's not even home, so I have

604
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:58,760
Speaker 1: to put it in the fridge, and then I just

605
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:00,360
Speaker 1: and then I get upset and I have to get

606
00:34:00,400 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 1: ready for bed, and I'm like, hey, you have to

607
00:34:01,960 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 1: do you have to fend on your by yourself on

608
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:07,680
Speaker 1: this stuff. And then she said, then I realized what

609
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:11,840
Speaker 1: I was doing, she said, I had to realize that

610
00:34:11,920 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 1: I needed to be connecting with him. So I decided

611
00:34:15,520 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 1: one day to wait for him and make whatever he

612
00:34:19,640 --> 00:34:22,040
Speaker 1: wanted to eat. So he came home at like nine o'clock.

613
00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,239
Speaker 1: Instead of that's the time I'm getting ready for bed,

614
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,879
Speaker 1: she says, Instead, I said, what do you want to eat?

615
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:28,880
Speaker 1: And I heat it up dinner and I made it

616
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 1: and I put it on the table, and all of

617
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:33,400
Speaker 1: a sudden, for the first time in months, he started talking.

618
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:35,759
Speaker 1: Because you know, teenagers can go through this thing where

619
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:37,439
Speaker 1: they're like, well, no.

620
00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:38,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't care, I don't know.

621
00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:42,239
Speaker 1: So all of a sudden, he's opening up. He's talking

622
00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 1: about his day, he's sharing a meal with mom, and

623
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: she's like, this is it. She had she had to

624
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:52,319
Speaker 1: sacrifice her time. You know, nine o'clock. We all as parents,

625
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,200
Speaker 1: we know that's like a good time for us. She

626
00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:58,000
Speaker 1: had to sacrifice that, and the sun opened up and

627
00:34:58,120 --> 00:35:01,160
Speaker 1: talked and it was a huge, huge breakthrough. And I

628
00:35:01,200 --> 00:35:03,239
Speaker 1: was like, praise God, that is an amazing thing. So

629
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 1: that's what I'm pleading with you, ma'am. Yeah, I could

630
00:35:07,040 --> 00:35:11,400
Speaker 1: find a breakthrough. It's somewhere every sixteen year old kid

631
00:35:11,600 --> 00:35:17,160
Speaker 1: that there's a breakthrough somewhere, find it you will, and

632
00:35:17,239 --> 00:35:22,400
Speaker 1: then priest the gospel. Yeah, all right, that took a

633
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:24,120
Speaker 1: little bit, but that was a complex question.

634
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I think applicable to a lot of people

635
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 2: out there that are parents maybe seeing their kids do

636
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 2: things that you're like, I don't understand it.

637
00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:39,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, another one complex subject, client says military plus stay

638
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:42,160
Speaker 1: at home dad question for podcast. Hey Grangeer, and my

639
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:45,280
Speaker 1: husband is about to retire soon from having served twenty

640
00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:48,759
Speaker 1: years almost in the military. He has been on seven deployments.

641
00:35:49,000 --> 00:35:52,680
Speaker 1: He's been the absolute best worker and then best leader

642
00:35:52,719 --> 00:35:55,320
Speaker 1: he could possibly be, and deserves every bit of this retirement.

643
00:35:55,680 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: He will be thirty nine at retirement. When asked what

644
00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,120
Speaker 1: he would like to do next, his answer to everyone

645
00:36:02,320 --> 00:36:05,040
Speaker 1: is stay at home, be a dad, raise his kids,

646
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: homeschool them, teach them everything from household chores to gardening

647
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:11,200
Speaker 1: to the Bible. You could see it in his eyes

648
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:13,319
Speaker 1: and hear it in his voice. This is truly what

649
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:18,440
Speaker 1: makes him happiest. I am a veteran myself currently. I

650
00:36:18,480 --> 00:36:20,720
Speaker 1: have a great part time job that I love, working

651
00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,759
Speaker 1: about twenty four hours and making good money seventy dollars

652
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,759
Speaker 1: an hour. I love working and would be happy to

653
00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,399
Speaker 1: work while he's at home with our children. My only

654
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: concern is is this unbiblical and dishonoring God's instruction? Is

655
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,600
Speaker 1: it okay for him to retire and be the stay

656
00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:40,760
Speaker 1: at home dad that he's always dreamed of being while

657
00:36:40,920 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 1: I work? Will he or I or both of us

658
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,600
Speaker 1: be disobeying God? Thank you so much.

659
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:53,080
Speaker 2: I think it's a fair question, but I'm going to

660
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 2: say no. Do you maybe you have a little bit

661
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 2: more insight? It sounds awesome?

662
00:36:59,080 --> 00:37:05,000
Speaker 1: Actually, yeah, yeah, I want to kind of go back

663
00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:10,120
Speaker 1: to this a little bit. We're kind of throwing around

664
00:37:10,160 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: that term loosely stay at home dad, but he wants

665
00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:19,560
Speaker 1: to raise the kids homeschool, then that's full time, full

666
00:37:19,560 --> 00:37:24,400
Speaker 1: time job, teach them everything, household chores, which is another

667
00:37:24,600 --> 00:37:28,160
Speaker 1: big job, gardening, all this kind of stuff, and the Bible.

668
00:37:30,160 --> 00:37:33,640
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say something here in a way, this is

669
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: what he's wanting to do. Is what every dad did

670
00:37:37,480 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty years ago, two hundred years ago,

671
00:37:41,080 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 1: five hundred years ago, Like what they did for most

672
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:49,279
Speaker 1: of history. They didn't leave to go to a workplace

673
00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:52,080
Speaker 1: like we have in our minds now. Like we look

674
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 1: at biblically, the man should go work, and we think

675
00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:57,279
Speaker 1: that means we get in a car and commute down

676
00:37:57,280 --> 00:38:02,720
Speaker 1: the highway to an office building. Work always forever meant

677
00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:06,720
Speaker 1: you're working at home in the garden and doing chores

678
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 1: and fixing fences and harvesting vegetables and putting out new crop,

679
00:38:11,440 --> 00:38:14,920
Speaker 1: and teaching the kids school and teaching them the Bible.

680
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:19,360
Speaker 1: It's just what they did. So I don't see any

681
00:38:19,400 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 1: problem with this.

682
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:26,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's yeah, it's very biblical, if that's the lens

683
00:38:26,080 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 2: you're looking through. But also it's just kind of awesome.

684
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:29,040
Speaker 3: It's like.

685
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 2: We've lost kind of the apprenticeship. Hey, you know, watch

686
00:38:35,120 --> 00:38:37,920
Speaker 2: me do it. I watch you do it, then you

687
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,040
Speaker 2: do it kind of process of like kids actually learning

688
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 2: how to do things by.

689
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:43,200
Speaker 3: Sitting next to us watching it.

690
00:38:43,440 --> 00:38:47,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe maybe when you go to church and

691
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:50,640
Speaker 1: things like that and you're discussing this, maybe change your

692
00:38:50,719 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 1: language about it. Instead of saying, well, now he's retired

693
00:38:54,480 --> 00:38:57,080
Speaker 1: and stay at home dad, don't say it that way.

694
00:38:58,239 --> 00:39:01,479
Speaker 1: Say say he retired in the military, but now he's

695
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 1: working around our house, gardening, teaching, learning, having apprenticeships. You know,

696
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 1: you could word it in a different way where it

697
00:39:11,800 --> 00:39:14,680
Speaker 1: doesn't sound kind of condescen almost sounds condescending the way

698
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:15,239
Speaker 1: you're saying. Yeah.

699
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 2: If you say he's he's now homeschooling our kids, it's

700
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:19,200
Speaker 2: like whoa.

701
00:39:20,120 --> 00:39:23,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, let me say something that you don't know, anonymous.

702
00:39:23,360 --> 00:39:25,920
Speaker 1: Let me say something. This is not the end of

703
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:29,879
Speaker 1: his story or yours. He's thirty nine, he's had an

704
00:39:30,800 --> 00:39:36,279
Speaker 1: incredible career with seven deployments. So thank you for your

705
00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 1: service and thank you for his but this is not

706
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:41,200
Speaker 1: the end of his story. He might he might think

707
00:39:41,719 --> 00:39:47,000
Speaker 1: that next is home gardening, teaching, give it five years,

708
00:39:47,360 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: something's going to come up. Yeah, he's going to want

709
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,480
Speaker 1: to invest in something, or try something, or work at

710
00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,480
Speaker 1: the church or something. Something's going to come up. I

711
00:39:55,520 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: promise this is just a dream that a thirty nine

712
00:39:58,160 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 1: year old has going home. Man, you know what's gonna

713
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:02,800
Speaker 1: be awesome putting tomatoes and oak in the garden.

714
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:05,480
Speaker 2: Well, and he's probably missed if he's been on seven deployments,

715
00:40:05,520 --> 00:40:09,080
Speaker 2: he's probably missed out great point being home. And so

716
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:12,360
Speaker 2: this is kind of the compensation, like the great point.

717
00:40:12,520 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 1: So if he's been on seven deployments and say does

718
00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 1: she say what what branch? If it's army, that means

719
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,920
Speaker 1: seven years. Yeah, he's been gone maybe more out of

720
00:40:21,920 --> 00:40:24,200
Speaker 1: the kid's life. Now he's going to pour back in

721
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,359
Speaker 1: and invest back into the lives of the kids that

722
00:40:27,400 --> 00:40:30,960
Speaker 1: he missed out on. Great Point. Yeah, I think there's

723
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:31,719
Speaker 1: nothing wrong with this.

724
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd kind of like to meet the guy. Honestly.

725
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,520
Speaker 2: Come to a podcast show or is it a podcast show?

726
00:40:38,520 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 2: What are these tour things called? We're making it up

727
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:45,600
Speaker 2: as we go, the podcast podcast, live recording, live recording.

728
00:40:46,800 --> 00:40:49,040
Speaker 2: Let's do one more and if we could try this

729
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 2: is a common but difficult question. We'll try to make

730
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 2: it quick. Here it says, Hey GRAINGERR. My name is Forest.

731
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 2: I was wondering why some people suffer from mental illness,

732
00:40:59,160 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 2: why does God allow that to be a thing? The

733
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,759
Speaker 2: reason I ask it because I've been clinically diagnosed, and

734
00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:08,160
Speaker 2: at times I wonder if I'll always take medicine for

735
00:41:08,239 --> 00:41:12,400
Speaker 2: what I'm diagnosed with. I feel like you're about to

736
00:41:12,400 --> 00:41:14,000
Speaker 2: preach a sermon on this, right, so.

737
00:41:14,440 --> 00:41:17,880
Speaker 1: Well, kind of, I mean, well, I'm in a class

738
00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:23,760
Speaker 1: right now in seminary called the Problem of Evil, and

739
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,040
Speaker 1: and so I've just been reading all different kinds of

740
00:41:26,080 --> 00:41:29,000
Speaker 1: books on evil and and usually what it comes down to,

741
00:41:29,880 --> 00:41:34,000
Speaker 1: really the question, the core question that people are going

742
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:38,920
Speaker 1: to ask is either why does God allow evil? Or

743
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 1: because of the existence of evil, that proves there is

744
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:49,239
Speaker 1: no God? Right and so that's something that Christians need

745
00:41:49,280 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: to think through. It's also very biblical. If you read

746
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,760
Speaker 1: the Book of Job it is it is all throughout

747
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:58,640
Speaker 1: the Bible. But I don't think that's what you're asking

748
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:00,600
Speaker 1: for us. I don't think you're asking for some kind

749
00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:04,960
Speaker 1: of great theological interpretation of evil in the Bible or

750
00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:07,560
Speaker 1: in the world, or the existence of it, or God's

751
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 1: allowance of it, or or God raising his hand and

752
00:42:12,200 --> 00:42:15,600
Speaker 1: evil the entrance of evil. I don't think you're asking

753
00:42:15,640 --> 00:42:21,000
Speaker 1: any of that. In fact, you didn't even use that word.

754
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:26,160
Speaker 1: You're calling it suffering or mental illness? Why does God

755
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:29,280
Speaker 1: allow that to be a thing? So that's a specific

756
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:36,440
Speaker 1: piece of evil mental illness, And what you're asking is,

757
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,719
Speaker 1: I hope, God, what are you showing me through this?

758
00:42:41,920 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 1: What are you showing me? Now? This is a thing.

759
00:42:45,320 --> 00:42:50,760
Speaker 1: I've been clinically diagnosed, I have been given medication. God,

760
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:53,640
Speaker 1: What is the purpose of this so that I can

761
00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:57,400
Speaker 1: glorify you? Because my purpose is to give you glory?

762
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:02,719
Speaker 1: How is mental illness a component in that? And I

763
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:05,880
Speaker 1: can't help you totally with that for Est, but I

764
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 1: will say that's a place to start. That's a place

765
00:43:10,080 --> 00:43:13,279
Speaker 1: for you to start thinking instead of thinking why did

766
00:43:13,320 --> 00:43:18,200
Speaker 1: he allow its? Why is you know this can't be good? Instead,

767
00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:21,560
Speaker 1: this is me, this is what I have. How am

768
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:24,360
Speaker 1: I going to glorify God? And I could tell you

769
00:43:24,440 --> 00:43:25,840
Speaker 1: right now there's a lot of options.

770
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:30,480
Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, anyone.

771
00:43:30,120 --> 00:43:32,040
Speaker 1: Could ask this question. I could ask the same thing

772
00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,239
Speaker 1: for Est. I could say, how could a dad who

773
00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: lost his son glorify God through that? Any of us could?

774
00:43:40,160 --> 00:43:42,720
Speaker 1: Whatever affliction we have it currently, and we have them all,

775
00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 1: any of us could ask that same question with our afflictions.

776
00:43:47,080 --> 00:43:49,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think this is one of those things where

777
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 2: the live recording and having you guys you've mentioned it before,

778
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:57,439
Speaker 2: being able to ask like the follow up, Because if

779
00:43:57,480 --> 00:44:02,080
Speaker 2: you have rendered your life to Jesus and you are

780
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:06,120
Speaker 2: spending time in the world and seeking to glorify God

781
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:09,520
Speaker 2: with your life like Granger's talking about, this is a

782
00:44:09,560 --> 00:44:13,920
Speaker 2: different maybe not a different answer, but a different conversation

783
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 2: that we are having. If that is true. What I

784
00:44:18,160 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 2: want to remind you of and anybody out there who

785
00:44:22,360 --> 00:44:25,280
Speaker 2: is in this suffering, who has that heart of surrender

786
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:28,880
Speaker 2: and want for obedience, is that we are but a

787
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:33,120
Speaker 2: missed guys, Like this life is going so fast and

788
00:44:33,160 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 2: there's gonna be eternity, eternity that there will.

789
00:44:36,920 --> 00:44:38,080
Speaker 3: Be no mental illness.

790
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:42,440
Speaker 2: You won't have to carry this burden and this suffering

791
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:45,680
Speaker 2: any longer. And if we can just wait a little while,

792
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:48,640
Speaker 2: if we can just hold on to that hope that

793
00:44:48,760 --> 00:44:52,359
Speaker 2: is in Jesus that you, by your wounds, I am

794
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,239
Speaker 2: healed and one day this is waiting for me and

795
00:44:55,280 --> 00:44:57,560
Speaker 2: that I will press on towards the goal. Like I

796
00:44:57,640 --> 00:45:00,920
Speaker 2: am going to keep carrying this suffer because I know

797
00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:04,800
Speaker 2: that in this you have also suffered to the extent

798
00:45:04,880 --> 00:45:08,040
Speaker 2: with me. And it's just for a little while. It

799
00:45:08,080 --> 00:45:11,520
Speaker 2: feels like forever in this life with this earthly body.

800
00:45:11,520 --> 00:45:12,439
Speaker 2: It feels too much.

801
00:45:13,200 --> 00:45:14,160
Speaker 1: But guys, it is.

802
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:18,719
Speaker 2: Going so fast, and eternity will start and you will

803
00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:23,040
Speaker 2: enter and all of that will be gone.

804
00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:27,440
Speaker 1: So good. What Ernie's saying is the answer to the

805
00:45:27,480 --> 00:45:30,840
Speaker 1: problem of evil is always found at the foot of

806
00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 1: the cross, the gospel of Jesus Christ, your suffering Savior,

807
00:45:37,719 --> 00:45:43,640
Speaker 1: who suffered innocently for the rebellion of the guilty, that

808
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:52,360
Speaker 1: we are for our sake. At that point everything is resolved.

809
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 1: We should leave it with that. Yeah, love you guys,

810
00:45:55,400 --> 00:45:57,759
Speaker 1: See you next Monday. Thanks for joining me on the

811
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:01,160
Speaker 1: Grangersmith Podcast. I appreciate all of you. Guys. You could

812
00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,239
Speaker 1: help me out by rating this podcast on iTunes. If

813
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:07,520
Speaker 1: you're on YouTube, subscribe to this channel. Hit that little

814
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,640
Speaker 1: like button and the notification spell so that you never

815
00:46:10,760 --> 00:46:14,120
Speaker 1: miss anytime I upload a video. If you have a

816
00:46:14,200 --> 00:46:16,120
Speaker 1: question for me that you would like me to answer,

817
00:46:16,560 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: email Grangersmith Podcast at gmail dot com.

818
00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:21,520
Speaker 2: Yi