WEBVTT - Selects: Star Wars Holiday Spectacular 0:00:00.920 --> 0:00:04.000 It's that time, everybody. It's time to kick off the 0:00:04.040 --> 0:00:08.080 holiday season with the annual playing of our episode on 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:12.119 the patently terrible Star Wars Holiday Special. I hope the 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:16.000 select finds you merry and bright, cozy and happy, filled 0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.000 with the holiday spirit, and I hope you guys are 0:00:19.000 --> 0:00:27.960 all having a wonderful Christmas time. Welcome to Stuff you 0:00:27.960 --> 0:00:36.640 should know, a production of I Heart Radio. Hey, and 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:40.199 welcome to the podcast. I'm Josh Clark with Charles W. 0:00:40.560 --> 0:00:48.640 Chuckers Bryant and Jerry Jerome Roland. Uh. Who's the Wookie mother? Yeah? Mala, 0:00:50.000 --> 0:00:53.200 that was the Wookie wife. Oh and mother? Yeah? Sure, 0:00:53.880 --> 0:00:57.200 Chewbacca's bomb is not with them any longer. She left. 0:00:57.840 --> 0:00:59.800 She was not about to appear in that she went 0:00:59.880 --> 0:01:04.080 up the window. I'm excited about this. I have to 0:01:04.120 --> 0:01:08.559 say we should say Happy Star Wars Day. Yeah. Today 0:01:08.680 --> 0:01:13.000 is um December. Um, I have my opening night tickets? 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:19.160 Do you really sure? Wow? You know? I do you 0:01:19.200 --> 0:01:21.720 into it? Oh? Yeah, well I will definitely go see 0:01:21.720 --> 0:01:24.120 it in the theater, But um, why won't be the 0:01:24.200 --> 0:01:29.280 opening night? Sure? I've gotten really adept at like ignoring spoilers, 0:01:29.319 --> 0:01:31.840 people talking about stuff all like, so I can I 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:35.399 could conceivably see this movie a month after it comes 0:01:35.400 --> 0:01:40.039 out and still going fresh. It's I'm an ostrich. Yeah 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:45.319 you black yourself out. Yeah you go dark? Do I 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:47.320 make myself go to sleep face? You go to the 0:01:47.400 --> 0:01:51.680 dark side. I've been there a while now. Uh. Well, 0:01:51.720 --> 0:01:54.160 Happy Star Wars Day though, I'm sure that I think 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:57.200 this pairs nicely with Christmas Star Wars Day. It's all 0:01:57.240 --> 0:02:00.880 come together. Yes, Um, we already missed Life Day though, 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:05.960 so happy belated Life Day. Are they celebrating it this year? November? Yeah, 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:12.680 but it's every three years. Mm hmm, our cane man job. Okay, 0:02:12.680 --> 0:02:16.119 so it's every three years, started in nineteen seventy eight. 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:21.120 Let's do the math, shall we? Mm hmmm? Quick math break. 0:02:21.160 --> 0:02:26.160 I believe that two thousand fourteen was the last Life Day. Man, 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:28.840 we just missed, and then again in twenty seventeen. Okay, 0:02:28.840 --> 0:02:31.800 so seen, we'll celebrate Life Day. Will put on our 0:02:31.840 --> 0:02:37.640 red robes, are ultralong, straight ironed wigs, and we'll celebrate 0:02:37.680 --> 0:02:39.799 Life Day the way it was meant to. Yes, and 0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:42.080 if you have no idea what we're talking about, we 0:02:42.120 --> 0:02:47.080 are talking about Life Day, which is a celebration. Uh 0:02:47.200 --> 0:02:50.600 that Wookies in the Star Wars universe have every three years. Yeah, 0:02:50.639 --> 0:02:56.440 it's like their Christmas or the Kanza their tech. Supposedly, 0:02:56.480 --> 0:02:58.280 it's sort of like Earth Day two. They celebrate the 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:02.160 diversity of their ecosystem, uh, and also remembrance of the dead, 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:05.960 and they also give gifts. They're like the Finns basically. Yeah, 0:03:06.000 --> 0:03:08.679 it's a it's a very interesting part of the Star 0:03:08.720 --> 0:03:12.079 Wars canon. It is, and it's almost entirely made up, 0:03:12.400 --> 0:03:16.200 dashed off you could possibly say, by um, George Lucas 0:03:16.240 --> 0:03:21.480 in the seventies. Um, And it's the basis of what 0:03:21.720 --> 0:03:25.440 is become derided as like one of the worst things 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:28.080 that ever happened to the Star Wars galaxy. Well, not 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:31.600 only that, one of the worst things ever aired on television. Yeah, 0:03:31.800 --> 0:03:36.320 with this galaxy. Yeah, at first that sounds like hyperbole, like, 0:03:36.440 --> 0:03:38.760 come on, it's because it was Star Wars, we had 0:03:38.800 --> 0:03:41.960 high expectations. But it's really that bad. Yeah. The people 0:03:41.960 --> 0:03:45.480 who say that haven't seen even a second of it. Yeah. Yeah, However, 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:48.840 I watched it, uh when I was a kid. Then 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:52.800 again this week, and you watched it twice this week. Yeah, 0:03:52.840 --> 0:03:55.480 I watched it last night and this morning. There's something 0:03:55.520 --> 0:03:58.440 about it. It's mesmerizing. It really is. It's one of 0:03:58.480 --> 0:04:02.080 those things that you start watching it and you want 0:04:02.080 --> 0:04:04.480 to turn it off, but you want to see just 0:04:04.560 --> 0:04:08.320 how absurd it can get. Almost Yeah, and it starts absurd, 0:04:08.640 --> 0:04:12.000 it stays absurd. In the middle, it's increasingly more absurd, 0:04:12.360 --> 0:04:15.880 it gets a little less absurd, finishes super absurd. Yeah, 0:04:15.880 --> 0:04:18.680 it's just a train wreck in every single sense of 0:04:18.680 --> 0:04:23.080 the word to bottom. It's extraordinarily difficult to overstate how 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:26.440 bad this is. And some people, you know, in researching this, 0:04:26.800 --> 0:04:29.200 you read about it, you read descriptions of these things, 0:04:29.760 --> 0:04:33.120 and it just can't possibly be gotten across until you 0:04:33.120 --> 0:04:35.720 see it. So luckily, as we will see, you can 0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:38.599 go onto YouTube and watch it, and you may even 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:42.159 enjoy this episode more if you pause, go spend two 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:46.000 hours watching this thing, and then come back and laugh 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:48.479 along with us. Yeah, there's a great Over the years, 0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:51.360 there have been many segments of it on YouTube from 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:55.560 badly dub VHS tapes, but there's one really pretty good 0:04:55.640 --> 0:05:00.000 version of it in full um brought to you by 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:04.000 w h I O Dayton, Ohio, Channel seven. Because that 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:09.039 flashes up on the screen periodically. Man, it is high quality. 0:05:09.080 --> 0:05:12.119 It looks good. It has to basically be the copy 0:05:12.160 --> 0:05:16.240 that the actual UM affiliate broadcast. Yeah, it's like that, 0:05:16.240 --> 0:05:19.320 that quality compared to the other stuff floating around on YouTube, 0:05:19.720 --> 0:05:23.920 clearly recorded on a pc R, which we're really expensive, 0:05:24.120 --> 0:05:27.680 very expensive. I did some calculating on west Egg UM, 0:05:27.760 --> 0:05:30.480 so the average VCR went for about a thousand dollars. 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:33.520 There were brand new it's amazing thousand dollars in ninety 0:05:33.560 --> 0:05:35.719 eight money, so they're about thirty eight hundred dollars in 0:05:35.800 --> 0:05:39.599 two thousand fourteen money. Luckily, there were some rich people 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:42.960 out there recording this stuff, and the wealthy have saved 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:47.680 us all again yet again, as they always do. Uh. 0:05:47.760 --> 0:05:50.000 We need to shout out some articles that we use 0:05:50.080 --> 0:05:53.040 for this. There's great a great article in Vanity Fair 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:58.240 called the Han Solo Comedy Our exclamation Point by Frank D. Jacomo. 0:05:59.000 --> 0:06:01.680 And then there's the Star Wars Holiday Special was the 0:06:01.720 --> 0:06:04.760 worst thing on television ever by So when we kind 0:06:04.760 --> 0:06:09.000 of know Alex Pasternak uh from Motherboard, Yeah, which is 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.920 uh not wired, it's uh vice. We wrote a little 0:06:12.960 --> 0:06:15.080 bit for Motherboard back then and we had a call 0:06:15.160 --> 0:06:19.039 with that, like we're like old Motherboard vets basically and 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:21.440 the one there one more, there was another one and 0:06:21.520 --> 0:06:24.880 I don't know who wrote this one chuck. Uh, yeah, 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:28.440 it's the titles the Star Wars Holiday Special. George Lucas 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:31.680 wants to smash every copy of with a sledgehammer, which 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:36.200 was a famous quote, uh supposedly at a convention by Lucas. Yes, 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:39.360 which is not correct. He didn't ever say that. No, okay, 0:06:39.400 --> 0:06:42.080 that that sounded like something that people made up. Yes, 0:06:42.160 --> 0:06:44.560 but if you go on the internet you will quickly 0:06:44.640 --> 0:06:47.040 believe that he did. Apparently didn't, so let's I'm sure 0:06:47.040 --> 0:06:50.039 he felt that way though, clearly, because he did appear 0:06:50.080 --> 0:06:53.080 on Robot Chicken and I think two thousand five on 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:57.400 the Therapist Couch talking about how much he hated the special. Alright, 0:06:57.400 --> 0:06:59.240 so let's set the background, shall we Shall we go 0:06:59.240 --> 0:07:03.279 back to nineteen seventy summer, getting the old way back machine. 0:07:03.320 --> 0:07:11.560 All right, let's do it. All right, here we are, 0:07:11.760 --> 0:07:14.880 there's Waterson. Yeah, I'm just a little six year old 0:07:14.920 --> 0:07:19.360 excited about Star Wars. I am. I've just turned one. Yes, 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:22.040 you don't know what's up yet. I please forgive me 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:26.240 if I urinate myself, no problem. Ok Uh, So what 0:07:26.320 --> 0:07:29.680 has happened is Star Wars has become a huge, huge hit, 0:07:30.280 --> 0:07:34.040 seemingly out of nowhere, establishing George Lucas is one of 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:37.400 the brilliant young minds and filmmaking. Even though it was 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.840 in his first movie, it was his first huge, huge 0:07:39.880 --> 0:07:42.320 breakout hit. Oh yeah, for sure, talk don't mean to 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:44.640 talk about a breakout hit like no one had ever 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:47.760 seen anything like it before two thousand one had come 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:52.000 out in the late sixties. But it wasn't it's still 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:54.840 it still isn't accessible to all audiences, you know. Yeah, 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:57.800 it's kind of cerebral film. Yeah, it's not an adventure movie. 0:07:57.960 --> 0:08:00.720 This was this is like basically swa s buckling on 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:03.480 the screen, but you know, in a galaxy far far away. 0:08:03.520 --> 0:08:06.440 Star Wars just changed everything and it came on just 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:11.080 like a hammer um and a new hope. By the way, yes, 0:08:11.160 --> 0:08:13.400 and then then we're gonna get stuff wrong, nerds, So yes, 0:08:13.880 --> 0:08:15.640 just go ahead and get your little fingers ready to 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:18.240 email us. Like if it wasn't driven home that I'm 0:08:18.240 --> 0:08:20.080 not a nerd by the fact that I don't have 0:08:20.160 --> 0:08:23.600 opening night tickets or any tickets yet, give me a break, 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:27.440 and by proxy chuck to okay, thank you. So, um, 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:32.640 it's it's hard to stay how great Star Wars was 0:08:32.679 --> 0:08:35.719 in everyone's mind, right. Bill Murray came out with that 0:08:35.920 --> 0:08:38.719 lounge singer Star Wars thing. It was everywhere and if 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:40.679 you if you just listen to the lyrics of it, 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:43.840 he's really it's just Bill Murray singing about how much 0:08:44.080 --> 0:08:50.280 Star Wars is awesome. Right. So, by the following year, Um, 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:52.920 George Lucas was he wanted to figure out a way 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:57.040 to keep audiences just engaged with the whole Star Wars 0:08:57.120 --> 0:08:59.520 franchise that he was just starting to build. But he 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:02.800 knew the Empire Strikes Back was a couple more years out, 0:09:03.559 --> 0:09:06.640 so um he I think he was approached by some 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:10.199 TV executives who said, have you considered doing some sort 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.760 of TV special? They're all the rage right now. We 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:17.000 have a we have a graphic that's really awesome that 0:09:17.040 --> 0:09:20.000 we set aside just for TV specials here at CBS. 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:23.240 Why don't you let us let's get together and do 0:09:23.280 --> 0:09:26.320 a Star Wars special. That's right. Producers Gary Smith and 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:30.760 Dwight him On, Uh, we're working over at CBS, and 0:09:30.800 --> 0:09:32.840 they said, this is a great way to keep the 0:09:32.880 --> 0:09:35.920 spirit alive. While you're making your other movie, maybe move 0:09:36.000 --> 0:09:41.040 some more toys. Yeah, which George Lucas got to. So 0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:43.640 it was right before Thanksgiving, and he said, there'll be 0:09:43.679 --> 0:09:47.240 a lot of people watching TV um pre holiday season, 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:49.320 or I guess in the holiday season. Well, the weekend 0:09:49.360 --> 0:09:53.240 before Thanksgiving, it's like everybody's shopping, sitting around family like 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:56.880 waiting to actually do stuff. That's perfect time to broadcast 0:09:56.920 --> 0:09:59.800 something on TV. So Lucas says, all right, let's do 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:03.160 the US. I don't have a ton of time, but 0:10:03.240 --> 0:10:05.400 how about this. I'll get I'll get a story together, 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.160 and then you can go hire a whiz bang team 0:10:08.240 --> 0:10:12.480 of of veteran writers and producers and directors whatever genre 0:10:12.559 --> 0:10:14.959 you think is appropriate. And those are the words that 0:10:15.000 --> 0:10:19.600 will haunt George Lucas to his grave. Yeah, so Lucas said, 0:10:19.920 --> 0:10:23.559 here's my idea. I wanted to be based um on Wookiees, 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.280 and I wanted to take place on their home planet 0:10:26.760 --> 0:10:30.160 of Kizuok or wikie planet. See is that how you 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:34.040 say kazuk. That's how it's pronounced in the episode the 0:10:34.160 --> 0:10:38.360 Holiday Special, but it's also pronounced different ways. Other times. 0:10:39.160 --> 0:10:43.080 I would have pronounced that cassey e got spell it 0:10:43.520 --> 0:10:47.320 k a s h y y y k, which I mean, 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:50.160 I guess that sounds like Chewbuck is planet sure also 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:54.360 called G five, Wilkie planet see or Eaton is a 0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:57.760 mid rim planet. Right. So the whole reason, apparently that 0:10:57.880 --> 0:11:01.120 George Lucas was interested in featuring the Keys was it 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:04.640 is what we in show business call low hanging fruit. 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:07.480 The reason why it was low hanging fruit was because 0:11:07.520 --> 0:11:11.680 they had just established the different scenes that would make 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:16.040 the cut for Empire Strikes Back and uh, what how 0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:19.240 did you pronounce it? Again? Kazook. Kazook had not made 0:11:19.240 --> 0:11:22.640 the cut. Uh. Even prior to this, apparently for a 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:25.120 new hope, George Lucas had whipped up a forty page 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:27.640 what's known as the Wookie Bible. It's like a forty 0:11:27.640 --> 0:11:33.200 page supplement that's all about Kazook and Wookies and Chewbacca 0:11:33.240 --> 0:11:37.439 and his family and everything about Wookie doom. Right, So 0:11:37.559 --> 0:11:40.600 he's like, I've got this thing already, you know established 0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.800 I love Wookies. Um, they didn't make the cut. I'm 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:46.120 a little sad about that. They're not gonna Kazuok is 0:11:46.160 --> 0:11:48.280 not going to show up in an Empire strikes Back. 0:11:48.640 --> 0:11:52.880 Let's let's build the entire special around wookies. It's basically 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:56.880 the one demand me George Lucas has that's it. I'll 0:11:56.920 --> 0:11:59.240 be totally hands off from this point on which you 0:11:59.320 --> 0:12:01.760 kind of was he totally wasn't. It was actually this 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:05.319 experience that apparently taught him to be the very hands 0:12:05.360 --> 0:12:07.520 on a person that he is famous for being. It 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:10.720 came out of this Christmas special. Absolutely he was burned 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:15.040 and um had an iron grip after that on everything. 0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:19.200 So here's some some of the folks behind it. Bruce Valanche, 0:12:19.200 --> 0:12:22.959 famous uh TV writer. You probably seen him on Hollywood Squares. 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:25.920 Wasn't he suspected of being Thomas pinch On for a while? 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:29.600 I don't know, or was Thomas pinch On on Hollywood Squares? 0:12:29.800 --> 0:12:34.880 I have no idea. I may be confabulating some stuff confounding. Yeah, 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:37.760 there's some kind of some sort going on. It sounds 0:12:37.800 --> 0:12:40.760 like it. So Valanche was hired as a writer. A 0:12:40.800 --> 0:12:44.640 guy named Lenny Rips was hired as a writer who 0:12:44.720 --> 0:12:47.800 has some great quotes in that Vanity Fair article he does. 0:12:48.559 --> 0:12:51.400 His first quote was we were really excited because this 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:55.400 is Star Wars. How could it lose? Famous last words? 0:12:56.240 --> 0:12:59.240 Who else was hired. There was a husband and wife team, 0:13:00.120 --> 0:13:03.920 the welch Is, who are the parents of of folk 0:13:04.720 --> 0:13:07.959 singer Gillian Welch. I'm a big fan of and I 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:10.959 had no idea that her parents they were producers slash 0:13:11.040 --> 0:13:14.760 songwriters of the day. They were big on the variety 0:13:14.760 --> 0:13:16.720 show scene, which would turn out to be a really 0:13:16.840 --> 0:13:20.079 key cog in this whole experience. So I feel like, 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:24.280 right about here, Jerry should insert a needle coming off 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:28.680 of a record sound effect. Okay, thanks Jerry. So Chuck, 0:13:29.440 --> 0:13:32.920 you just said singer songwriters. What would that have to 0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:36.600 do with Star Wars. Yeah, well, actually, in this Star 0:13:36.600 --> 0:13:39.160 Wars holiday special, for those of you hadn't seen it, 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:43.040 there are musical numbers. They decided from the outset that 0:13:43.080 --> 0:13:45.679 there should be musical numbers. And the reason that they 0:13:45.679 --> 0:13:47.960 decided that there should be musical numbers is because the 0:13:48.000 --> 0:13:51.120 people who sold George Lucas and at the time it 0:13:51.200 --> 0:13:53.760 was start the Star Wars Corporation was what it was 0:13:53.800 --> 0:13:57.319 called um On. The idea of doing this TV special 0:13:57.600 --> 0:14:00.680 was that everyone would love a variety show. Yeah, it 0:14:00.720 --> 0:14:03.320 was the seventies. Great idea, let's do a variety show. 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:06.959 The problem was this apparently George Lucas didn't watch enough TV, 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:10.680 and he also overly trusted people who talked to him 0:14:10.720 --> 0:14:16.840 because by yes, variety shows had dominated television for over 0:14:16.960 --> 0:14:19.880 ten years, but it had come to an end. It 0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:23.560 was getting stale. Yeah, we're talking to Carol Burnett show, 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:26.560 one of my favorite had just been canceled after eleven seasons. 0:14:27.160 --> 0:14:30.400 Big Sonny and Chair had just had its last season. 0:14:31.880 --> 0:14:33.800 I mean, what else, like he Hall was he? I 0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:39.000 was still going on, probably still on solid golden yet 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:41.440 to come on and take up the mantel that that 0:14:41.440 --> 0:14:44.120 would never variety show. Oh that was a little bit 0:14:44.680 --> 0:14:47.240 and there was talking in between the songs. Remember the 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:51.040 Mandrell's Sisters show. I never watched that one. Well, it's 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:54.640 with that country chic thing that happened. Yeah, it was 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:56.880 a big deal in the it's kind of happening again. 0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:00.360 I think, Oh, because of that dude, the guy who 0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:02.880 won all the c m A Awards. I don't know, 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:06.840 he's like, he's he came along. He's like actually country. 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:09.720 His dad's like a coal miner for real from Kentucky. 0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:12.280 I think I know you mean Chris was something. Yeah, 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.320 he's he is good. He's come along and been like, 0:15:14.520 --> 0:15:16.560 what are you guys doing. Well, there's a revival in 0:15:16.640 --> 0:15:19.320 like good country music. Again, that's like in the tradition 0:15:19.360 --> 0:15:22.320 of Merle, Haggard and Cash and I guess that's probably 0:15:22.320 --> 0:15:24.760 where the country sheet came from, because there was actually 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:27.480 good country going on. Yeah, Johnny Cash out a variety show, 0:15:28.320 --> 0:15:31.080 did he really? Yeah? I knew they did, like a 0:15:31.160 --> 0:15:34.480 Sunday singing thing like out in Virginia. Yeah, he had 0:15:34.520 --> 0:15:36.440 his own variety show was actually pretty good. There's some 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:39.160 like really great performances. Do you know how many nerds 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:41.480 are like, get back to Star Wars? I know, I'm 0:15:41.480 --> 0:15:44.200 so sorry. All right, So the Variety Show is is 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.120 dying sort of, and so they figure, what a great 0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:50.560 time to take the biggest movie property on the planet 0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:55.240 and wedge it into the variety show milieu. I don't 0:15:55.240 --> 0:15:57.280 know if wedge is the right word. I think maybe 0:15:57.720 --> 0:16:01.200 uh nestle it in there and then start hitting it 0:16:01.240 --> 0:16:04.520 with the blunt edge of an axe until it mashes 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:08.120 into that crevice. You know. Because this is the time 0:16:08.160 --> 0:16:12.560 when Fantasy Island had just started, um Mork and Mindy 0:16:12.680 --> 0:16:16.160 was about to change things. Charlie's Angels was getting huge. 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:21.320 It basically television as we knew it from two whenever 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:24.720 the real world came along. Just escape as television is 0:16:24.760 --> 0:16:27.080 what they called it was was starting and it was 0:16:27.120 --> 0:16:29.440 the hip new thing. So basically, if they had turned 0:16:29.640 --> 0:16:33.000 Han Solo and Princess Leiah and Luke Skywalker into maybe 0:16:33.400 --> 0:16:37.320 you know, sexy detectives, it might have gone over even better. 0:16:37.440 --> 0:16:39.640 But they went the other way. They decided to latch 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:45.360 onto this extraordinarily stale um genre of television and they 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:48.400 hired the best in the business, like there was there was. 0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:50.280 There was a quote from I think Lenny RiPPs who 0:16:50.360 --> 0:16:53.880 was saying, like we had literally a dream team, a 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:58.600 variety show dream team, and everybody was good, but there 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:01.280 were probably no bad worlders the Titanic he there, That's 0:17:01.280 --> 0:17:04.080 a great quote. Yeah. The guy they hired too directed 0:17:04.119 --> 0:17:07.479 initially was a dude named David A. Coomba, and he 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:10.480 had made his name for Welcome to the Fillmore East. 0:17:10.520 --> 0:17:14.240 It was a concert documentary with Van Mortrison, Van Morrison 0:17:14.240 --> 0:17:17.240 and the Birds in nine one, and he actually was 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:20.240 at usc Film School the same time as Lucas, even 0:17:20.280 --> 0:17:23.560 though they didn't know each other, and um he only 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.960 ended up directing about three segments of the thing before 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:29.159 he quit yet before he walked off. Some say he 0:17:29.240 --> 0:17:31.919 was actually let go, but we'll get to him in 0:17:31.920 --> 0:17:34.640 a minute, and who replaced him. As as we get 0:17:34.680 --> 0:17:38.120 along down this uh gross road, well let's let's take 0:17:38.119 --> 0:18:02.119 a little break because I'm I'm overly excited, Okay, George, Alright, 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:04.800 So we've established most of the main players. We'll we'll 0:18:04.800 --> 0:18:08.200 get to a few more. We should point out that, um, 0:18:08.320 --> 0:18:13.480 Mark hamill And and Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher, Peter Mayhew, 0:18:14.119 --> 0:18:18.480 they had no grounds to refuse to be on this. Basically, yeah, 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:21.479 pretty much. They were not huge, huge stars, yet they 0:18:21.480 --> 0:18:23.480 could throw their weight around and say this is terrible 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:25.520 and I'm not doing it. They were. They were big 0:18:25.720 --> 0:18:29.240 overnight because of Star Wars, for sure, but they weren't 0:18:30.160 --> 0:18:33.840 to the adoring public. Back at the studio. They could 0:18:33.840 --> 0:18:36.399 still be bossed around and this was the result of it. 0:18:36.640 --> 0:18:39.320 And you can tell also, um, just from watching the 0:18:39.400 --> 0:18:43.359 actual special, like Harrison Ford is not happy to be 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:48.680 there at any point. Um. Princess Leiah is clearly on drugs. 0:18:49.920 --> 0:18:53.160 Uh was she on drugs at this point? She? If 0:18:53.200 --> 0:18:56.520 you watch it, she's she's on drugs, Especially the ending scene. 0:18:56.840 --> 0:18:59.760 Mark cambell It looks like he's happy to be there. 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:02.760 Act he was fine, but apparently he said no, I'm 0:19:02.840 --> 0:19:05.920 I'm not doing a musical number. And if you watch 0:19:06.000 --> 0:19:08.679 his part, wedging a musical number in there would have 0:19:08.720 --> 0:19:13.680 been even more painful. Um. But they everybody who was 0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:16.720 part of the actual Star Wars franchise that wasn't wearing 0:19:16.760 --> 0:19:20.640 like a full body costume was like, I really wish 0:19:20.680 --> 0:19:23.240 I wasn't here, And you can tell, oh yeah. In fact, 0:19:23.240 --> 0:19:27.439 in the opening uh credit sequence, they're showing the picture 0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:30.199 that you know, the faces of the people, and you 0:19:30.240 --> 0:19:32.680 see Harrison Ford as if he's flying the Millennium Falcon, 0:19:32.760 --> 0:19:34.560 and you can you can just hear the guy off 0:19:34.600 --> 0:19:37.080 screen going now look at the camera and just give 0:19:37.119 --> 0:19:39.359 a nod. Just look at the camera and give a nod. 0:19:39.760 --> 0:19:41.480 And he finally you can tell he's piste off and 0:19:41.520 --> 0:19:43.280 he looks up at the camera and just sort of 0:19:43.280 --> 0:19:45.800 smirks yeah and points at the camera like okay, I'm 0:19:45.840 --> 0:19:47.600 looking at the camera, and then goes back to what 0:19:47.680 --> 0:19:50.600 he's doing. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. I felt bad for 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:53.920 him so early on Valanche and others did you did 0:19:53.960 --> 0:19:56.720 you feel bad for him? Though? Really I mean, like, 0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:00.760 come on, it's Harrison Ford's hans soul. He has to 0:20:00.800 --> 0:20:03.600 go do this for like five days. Yeah, I felt 0:20:03.680 --> 0:20:06.080 terrible for him. I think it's hilarious that they had 0:20:06.119 --> 0:20:09.520 to do this, especially now. Well, early on, Valanche and 0:20:09.520 --> 0:20:11.960 others knew that they may be in trouble because they 0:20:11.960 --> 0:20:16.000 decided not to subtitle any of the Wookie dialogue and 0:20:16.040 --> 0:20:19.119 they literally started after a brief opening scene setting it 0:20:19.200 --> 0:20:23.119 up here. Here's the basic plot is, Han Solo is 0:20:23.119 --> 0:20:26.280 trying to get Chewbacca back to Kazook in time for 0:20:26.359 --> 0:20:29.680 Life Day so we can celebrate with his family. That's 0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:32.719 the basis of the entire two Yes, the basis the 0:20:32.840 --> 0:20:36.920 entire two hours. They encounter a space battle and they're delayed, 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:39.880 and the next two hours are kind of what's going 0:20:39.960 --> 0:20:43.760 on while the delay is happening back on Kazoo, back 0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:46.719 on Kazook. Because you hear, like, okay, well, Han Solo 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:50.240 and Chewbacca evading the Imperial Guard and all that stuff 0:20:50.280 --> 0:20:53.600 for two hours. I would watch that. I would too. Ye, 0:20:53.960 --> 0:20:57.040 that's not what they show. Killing time at the Wookie household, 0:20:57.200 --> 0:21:00.400 that is what they show. Yeah, that's what they do. 0:21:00.600 --> 0:21:04.040 It's people hanging out waiting for Chewbacca, worrying about him, 0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:07.119 and then killing time while they wait for him to 0:21:07.200 --> 0:21:10.480 come back. Literally, so um and so hold on. So 0:21:10.560 --> 0:21:12.880 you say there's a setup, right, Yeah, that's the initial 0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:16.760 set up, and then chuck, that's followed by this. Yeah, 0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:22.919 it's followed by literally ten minutes, ten solid minutes of 0:21:23.080 --> 0:21:27.560 incomprehensible Wookie speak. So let's let's join it for a second, 0:21:27.560 --> 0:22:14.879 shall we. Yeah, let's all enjoy it. And again, you 0:22:14.960 --> 0:22:19.320 said ten minutes, and you're not exaggerating, you're not being hyperbolic. 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:22.680 You can time it. That's it's ten minutes of wookie's 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:26.320 talking to each other with no subtitles. Fortunately, I couldn't 0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:28.880 follow it at first, like I didn't even know who 0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:32.720 it was. I thought it was might have been Chewbacca's 0:22:32.880 --> 0:22:36.160 mom and dad. Oh yeah, that's a little brother. And 0:22:36.240 --> 0:22:38.480 I don't find out until later when Mark Cambell shows 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:43.719 up via skype call and says, he really explains everything 0:22:43.720 --> 0:22:48.560 that had just happened, Like, you're Chewbacca's father, itchy, you'r 0:22:48.600 --> 0:22:54.480 Chewbacca's son, uh, lumpy lumpy, and you're Chewbacca's wife. Yeah, 0:22:54.520 --> 0:22:58.200 thank you. So before everybody starts like freaking out. We 0:22:58.240 --> 0:23:02.080 know that that's actually their nick names. Their real names are. 0:23:02.119 --> 0:23:06.719 His father is a Ti chick cook, a Ti chick cook, 0:23:06.800 --> 0:23:10.080 it's really hard to pronounce. Mulatto Buck is his wife, 0:23:10.119 --> 0:23:14.720 and his son is Lumpo war Rump but as named 0:23:14.720 --> 0:23:17.760 by Lucas. But yeah, but Lucas also named him Lumpy 0:23:17.840 --> 0:23:23.119 Itchy and Mala so Um. They're all back there wringing 0:23:23.160 --> 0:23:25.280 their hands, trying to figure out ways to pass the 0:23:25.359 --> 0:23:28.840 time until they get word from Chewbacca that he's made 0:23:28.840 --> 0:23:33.920 it to uh what is it, ketchuck z kazuok um 0:23:34.160 --> 0:23:38.480 just ketchup ketchup or cats up if you're fancy um. 0:23:38.520 --> 0:23:43.520 But Chewbacca is having trouble getting back to Katchuk because 0:23:44.000 --> 0:23:49.480 there's Kazuki, because there's a blockade by the Empire and 0:23:49.480 --> 0:23:52.760 they're looking for rebels, specifically Chewbacca, who I didn't realize this. 0:23:53.080 --> 0:23:55.840 He's the most famous Wookie of all. Did you know that? Yeah, 0:23:55.920 --> 0:23:58.320 of course I didn't know that. Well, I mean he's 0:23:58.320 --> 0:24:00.280 the only one that really appears in the movie bes 0:24:00.960 --> 0:24:04.680 I mean we're seeing, like, you know, these people's view 0:24:04.840 --> 0:24:09.040 of the universe. What about back on Zook, Yeah, he 0:24:09.119 --> 0:24:11.720 might have just been a fly by night wookie, right, yeah, 0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:14.439 but not the case very famous wookie. Yeah, and he 0:24:14.560 --> 0:24:17.920 really loved it, like soak in his fame. Alright, So 0:24:18.320 --> 0:24:21.280 he realizes there's a problem. Valanche. He goes to Lucas 0:24:21.320 --> 0:24:24.800 and it's like, I don't know, man, this is your world, 0:24:24.840 --> 0:24:28.239 but it may not be the strongest thing to do 0:24:28.440 --> 0:24:30.119