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Speaker 1: It's the radio segment that can't watch the Super Bowl

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Speaker 1: this Sunday because he's watching reruns of the greatest rivalry

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Speaker 1: of all time, Usher versus Keyboard Cat Ladies love More.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: You gotta see the abs on a keyboard cat. Pretty impressive.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna settle it once and for all though, with

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Speaker 1: Laser Stories, the segment where we read weird news stories

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Speaker 1: around the globe, just like everyone else does, except we've

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Speaker 1: got a laser.

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Speaker 3: Those other catnip liquors just don't.

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Speaker 1: This first laser story is out of San Bernardino, California.

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Speaker 1: Twenty three year old's guy named Levi Chase was at

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Speaker 1: a public park the other day and needed to use

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Speaker 1: the bathroom.

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Speaker 3: Okay, but the men's room was full.

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Speaker 2: There's a big demand at the park, all.

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Speaker 1: Right, So he figured he just popped into the ladies

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Speaker 1: room real quick, which was empty at the time.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I've gotten into the guys room, you know if

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Speaker 2: it's empty.

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Speaker 1: Well, unfortunately, two women walked in right after Lee and

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Speaker 1: thought he was a perv. Oh boy, So they went

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Speaker 1: back out and told someone, and that's someone was thirty

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Speaker 1: three year old's Rudy Vasquez, who waited outside, and when

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Speaker 1: Levi came out, Rudy confronted him, pulled out a gun

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Speaker 1: and shot him in the knee.

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Speaker 3: We don't take perves around these parks.

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Speaker 2: What are you even.

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Speaker 3: Telling on him?

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Speaker 2: Like, wait till he's done and leaves, don't.

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Speaker 1: It's so people at a nearby skate park knew Levi

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Speaker 1: and they confirmed he's not a perv. He's well liked

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Speaker 1: and hangs out at the park a lot.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and they're like, that's what you skaters would say.

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Speaker 1: No pervs ever hang out at parks every Luckily, paramedics

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Speaker 1: got him to a hospital and his injuries were not

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Speaker 1: life threatening.

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Speaker 3: Oh poor thing.

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Speaker 1: Though.

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Speaker 2: If he's skateboards and he just got his knee shot out,

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Speaker 2: things are going to be awesome. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: As for Rudy, he fled the scene and threw the

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Speaker 1: gun out of his car window when the cops pulled him.

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Speaker 2: Over, so he obviously knew he did wrong, you know, Like.

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Speaker 1: Now he's facing charges for attempted murder. Yes, some people

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Speaker 1: feel bad for him though, because the park has apparently

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Speaker 1: had a lot of issues lately with weirdos lurking around

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Speaker 1: the restrooms. But police say, don't just go around shooting

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Speaker 1: random perves. Please call them first and then shoot the purpose.

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Speaker 2: No, then they'll shoot the purse.

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Speaker 1: Well, unless they're short staff that day, then they'll give

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Speaker 1: you permission to shoot this next laser stories out of Iowa.

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Speaker 1: Last month, the teenager named Eli Milky launched an Instagram

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Speaker 1: account called Peanut Butter Eater sixteen okay, and he promised

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Speaker 1: to eat one tablespoon of peanut butter for every fifty

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Speaker 1: followers he got. Oh my god, this is the new

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Speaker 1: thing to get followers.

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Speaker 3: Well, he quickly found himself in a jam.

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Speaker 2: I'm surprised you didn't go with his last name Milky.

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Speaker 3: Okay? Is that a combo eat peanut butter?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: Yeh, yeah, gotcha right? Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Water does not help that stuff go down right now.

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Speaker 3: I'm hungry, thanks a lot.

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Speaker 1: Anyway. Eli was shocked when he saw that more than

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Speaker 1: one hundred thousand people followed him in a single week. Okay,

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Speaker 1: and he's currently sitting in around one hundred and fifteen

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Speaker 1: thousand followers, which would come out to equal two thousand,

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Speaker 1: three hundred spoonfuls of peanut butter.

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Speaker 3: Creamy.

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Speaker 2: Because they have to do it right in the I

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Speaker 2: mean right in a row. Can he do chunky creemy?

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Speaker 2: What are the rules?

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, thankfully he and his parents thought better of it,

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Speaker 1: and he's stuck with the plan till day six, when

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Speaker 1: twenty thousand people followed him overnight, and at that point

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Speaker 1: he said he'd eat half a jar for every ten

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Speaker 1: thousand followers.

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Speaker 2: He got oh nice, yeah, week milky.

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Speaker 3: Where's the commitment? Then the people turn against you.

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Speaker 1: But even that's been a challenge because his mom says

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Speaker 1: he's gone through seven large, sixty four ounce jars in

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Speaker 1: the past month, which is twenty eight pounds of peanut.

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Speaker 3: Butter, parents having to buy it.

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Speaker 1: And when he hit one hundred thousand followers, he celebrated

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Speaker 1: with a video where he covered himself in peanut butter. Yeah, okay,

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Speaker 1: there's a picture eating from one of his giant jobs.

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Speaker 2: But he looks like your brother, I thought, I don't know,

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Speaker 2: we were talking about like a ten year old.

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Speaker 1: So, if you're wondering, his brand of choice is Skippy.

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Speaker 1: So they just sent him a care package filled with

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Speaker 1: snacks and swag because that's.

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Speaker 2: What he wants, is more peanut butter.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad you read the room there, Skippy.

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Speaker 1: He started posting paid content too, like a video where

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Speaker 1: he eats peanut butter while wearing a certain brand sunglasses.

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Speaker 1: He's also selling his own merch Now experts predict he's

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Speaker 1: going to make over half a million dollars this year alone.

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Speaker 1: It makes you think about the Taco Bell challenge and

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Speaker 1: if a certain redheaded technical director on this show.

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Speaker 3: Was really that committed to it. Where's the taco bell swag? Ashton?

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Speaker 2: He didn't do it?

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The problem is is that Ashon didn't do it for followers.

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Speaker 2: He just did it because our producer told me.

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Speaker 3: I did it for the legacy. Bro Okay, the legacy

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Speaker 3: and the health benefits. I believe he did actually lose

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Speaker 3: weight after the challenge, and I think he wants to

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Speaker 3: gain weight.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I lost a couple of pounds. Yeah yeah. This next

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Speaker 3: laser stories out of Food News Fun.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what this says about the creative team

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Speaker 1: over at Burger King, but they are desperate for your

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Speaker 1: good ideas.

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Speaker 2: That's a good example of why I think they hit

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Speaker 2: a roadblock here.

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Speaker 1: I say that because the good people at BK just

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Speaker 1: launched a new contest where they're offering a one million

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Speaker 1: dollar prize, So the person who can come up with

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Speaker 1: their next great Whopper innovation.

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Speaker 3: Wow a million dollars.

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Speaker 1: Yep. They say Whoppers currently offer more than two hundred

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Speaker 1: thousand possible customized combinations, but they're open to one that

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Speaker 1: people will go crazy over.

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Speaker 3: Okay, And they didn't ass many rules for this contest.

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Speaker 1: Although your submission can only have eight toppings max.

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Speaker 3: Okay.

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Speaker 1: You also you can't change the bun or the burger

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Speaker 1: patty itself.

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Speaker 2: God, I want to get in on this, Yeah, how

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Speaker 2: do we do it? How do we enter?

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Speaker 3: I guess idea? Yeah, if you.

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Speaker 1: Do want to enter, they're looking for popularity, so this

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Speaker 1: can't be anything weird like fla grab with caviare and

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Speaker 1: puffer fish on a bed of edible gold flake.

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Speaker 3: He's gonna say, there goes your idea.

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Speaker 1: The deadline to enter is March seventeenth. Three finalists are

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Speaker 1: going to be chosen this spring, with one winner being

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Speaker 1: named by the end of the year, and then the

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Speaker 1: other two finalists are going to walk away with two

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Speaker 1: hundred k and one hundred k?

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Speaker 2: Serious, do you think the creative departments over there that

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Speaker 2: it like actually comes up with the burgers are like, hey,

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Speaker 2: you don't pay us this much money.

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Speaker 1: You know it has to be like a groundbreaking idea.

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Speaker 1: To participate, you need one of their free Royal Perks accounts.

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Speaker 3: Oh here's the catch.

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Speaker 1: You gotta go sign up for that and you can

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Speaker 1: find the details for it on our Insta stories at

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Speaker 1: Brooke and Jam free. Go sign up, Yeah, go sign up.

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Speaker 1: Put your whopper idea.

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Speaker 3: Become a millionaire.

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Speaker 2: I'm going to be a millionaire Whopper queen, the.

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Speaker 3: Title you've always dreamed though.

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Speaker 1: Also, they're gonna give you a cupeon for a free

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Speaker 1: whopper after just your first entry alone.

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Speaker 2: Well, you have to go and try your your combination.

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Speaker 1: Like you're probably wondering what I would put inside my

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Speaker 1: mystery burger?

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Speaker 3: What is it? Is it tortoise? Oh no, no to gamey.

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Speaker 1: Plus you got to pick all the shells out after

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Speaker 1: your bite into it, So this guy is safe at

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Speaker 1: least for now. That's how means Laser Stories has come

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Speaker 1: to an end for the day. We'll do it again,

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Speaker 1: same time on Friday.

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Speaker 2: Freaking Jeffrey in the morning