Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, We're brown and
Speaker 1: a bishous ambitious ambition, ambition, ambition, Hey, mandra, just a
Speaker 1: little glow, a little glow ooh sorry if we're talking
Speaker 1: about we're glow.
Speaker 2: There is this, you know, like everybody's now into Korean
Speaker 2: beauty and I told myself I was not gonna jump on,
Speaker 2: but there's this bomb like this.
Speaker 1: Oh, I should have brought with me this. I saw
Speaker 1: it on social.
Speaker 2: And like, I think a lot of people don't realize
Speaker 2: that if you've got oily skin, oftentimes it looks oil
Speaker 2: because actually you have dry skin and that's so it's
Speaker 2: actually not oily. And so sometimes in my t zone,
Speaker 2: especially during the summertime, because I walk so much, that
Speaker 2: my skin will.
Speaker 1: Dry out and it will kind of look oily.
Speaker 2: And I didn't notice how bad it looked until if
Speaker 2: you ever get your lashes done, in your brain, I
Speaker 2: was done, and you're under that fluorescent light and they
Speaker 2: give you the mirror to see and you see your skin.
Speaker 3: Your skin's like I wish they wouldn't, Like, I don't
Speaker 3: want to see my skin after a facial. I don't
Speaker 3: want to see anything. I feel bad for them.
Speaker 2: Girl, but I've been using this bomb. I'm going to
Speaker 2: find the like the name of it. It's like, I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 1: It's a Korean beauty. It like little and.
Speaker 2: Look like basically it's like a face chapstick. And so
Speaker 2: every night I put it like, you know, like T
Speaker 2: zone girl.
Speaker 1: I just got my arm.
Speaker 2: I was done, obviously, and when they brought me the mirror,
Speaker 2: I said, yes, the.
Speaker 1: Skin was skinning. I said, thank you Korea getting this
Speaker 1: blacker together.
Speaker 3: Aw. But yeah, so I was in Cali for a
Speaker 3: week and a long ago. Yes, it yes, And it
Speaker 3: was that if you guys have been listening, you know,
Speaker 3: I bought a ticket to a conference that I had
Speaker 3: no business being at. It was not for me, but
Speaker 3: I got really excited because I heard the founder speaking
Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm gonna do this. And it
Speaker 3: was like almost three thousand dollars. Okay, it was less
Speaker 3: than my mortgage, but more than my daycare bill each month.
Speaker 3: And then it's all the way in California, right, and anyway,
Speaker 3: the date was getting closer and closer, and I'm like,
Speaker 3: what am I going to do? There's no refunds. So
Speaker 3: I decided I think it was my publisher Krashawn. She said,
Speaker 3: why don't you turn it into a writing retreat, And
Speaker 3: that's exactly what I did. So on the way to
Speaker 3: LA I dropped the boys off in Saint Louis with
Speaker 3: my mama and said bye. And they were there for
Speaker 3: all week, like seven days, and I went on to
Speaker 3: Beverly Hills, Beverly either that or troop Beverly Hills through
Speaker 3: We've seen that trip Beverly Hills. Oh is that like
Speaker 3: a Okay? That's this is when the millennial and Gen
Speaker 3: XX separates us. Oh my god, I got to put
Speaker 3: you on Shelley Long Rest in peace. Okay, but I
Speaker 3: got so lucky. When I tell you, I gave you
Speaker 3: a tour the Airbnb, Tiffany, I would not shut up
Speaker 3: about this Airbnb. I was probably annoying everybody, Like I
Speaker 3: went to the conference one day and like, you know, uh, canodled? No,
Speaker 3: that's what did I do? Schmoozed just like metal with
Speaker 3: a boob, but okay, yeah, yah yah, not no canoodling,
Speaker 3: new canodling, just schmoozing. And the next day I went
Speaker 3: back and everybody was like, how's the Airbnb? And I
Speaker 3: was like, damn, I must have been.
Speaker 1: Talking about.
Speaker 3: The whole time. I was like, Okay, I'll find something
Speaker 3: else to beat my personality today. State farm agents are
Speaker 3: small business owners too, so they know how to help
Speaker 3: you choose personalized policies that fit your needs, like a
Speaker 3: good neighbor. State farm is there. Talk to your local
Speaker 3: agent today. Oh my god. So there's this host in
Speaker 3: Beverly Hills. So she never rents out her guesthouse. Like
Speaker 3: back in the pool in the pool area, there's a
Speaker 3: guest house. And I mean it's basically a little retreat.
Speaker 3: It's just a one bedroom, but I had a bathroom,
Speaker 3: had everything you needed in the doors. The French doors
Speaker 3: opened directly onto the stunning pool. And she had the
Speaker 3: most incredible landscaping for a small yard, just like palm
Speaker 3: trees and banana leaves and complete like twenty foot hedges
Speaker 3: and a jacuzzi and it was all mine. And she
Speaker 3: told me, she was like, maybe I never rent this out.
Speaker 3: She unfortunately had some health issues and during the pandemic
Speaker 3: had to close her business down. So now this is
Speaker 3: like a little way for her to bring in extra money.
Speaker 3: But she was super scared about it because she lives
Speaker 3: by herself and she's in her sixties. Anyway, it just
Speaker 3: so happened that the one day her son was there
Speaker 3: when he was like, Mom, you have a request, and
Speaker 3: she was like, I know, I have been ignoring it.
Speaker 3: And he was like, just she looks nice, go ahead,
Speaker 3: like say yes, and we are pals.
Speaker 1: Now of course you are.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And it was just so special. Oh my god,
Speaker 3: it was so special. I think I'd discover the hack
Speaker 3: of all life hacks for any families, like forget the
Speaker 3: family vacation, just like forget it, pack up the car,
Speaker 3: take the kids places. No, stop it, No, you're doing
Speaker 3: it wrong. This is the thing. You book your own vacation.
Speaker 3: Then you go somewhere by yourself, moms, and then the
Speaker 3: kids you send them together somewhere else like Grandma's house
Speaker 3: or whoever, whatever seems suitable and trustworthy, and then your
Speaker 3: husband gets to stay home and do whatever he wants.
Speaker 3: What you know, what you know is like get I
Speaker 3: came home to two brand new Sono speakers. But you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, I don't want to talk about
Speaker 3: it. It was worth it, because I swear I was so
Speaker 3: happy just being alone with all of my brain. I
Speaker 3: fell in love with myself again. I didn't know I
Speaker 3: was a I didn't know you could do that in
Speaker 3: your thirties, like after two kids. I mean, I like myself,
Speaker 3: but I fell in love with me again. I was
Speaker 3: like I was telling you to when we were talking,
Speaker 3: just I felt exactly how I felt when I was
Speaker 3: twenty two, traveling being like, you know, different different countries
Speaker 3: and meeting new people and it was so much fun.
Speaker 3: And I just remembered how great I am.
Speaker 2: Yes, I like that fun because you are cute. Chatting
Speaker 2: with you, I was like, look at Mannie. First of all,
Speaker 2: that place was gorgeous because you don't have to FaceTime. Yeah,
Speaker 2: the pool was amazing. Mandy looks so happy, and yeah,
Speaker 2: we just were just a key a key ing, okay
Speaker 2: king Yes, And honestly, I'm gonna be like girl the
Speaker 2: next time I go to Cali.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm like with your friend because.
Speaker 3: I know, I was like, Terry, you don't understand. I
Speaker 3: kind of have a podcast and like sometimes when I
Speaker 3: say stuff, more than one person hears it. So if
Speaker 3: I talk about this, she said, I can send anyone
Speaker 3: who I think is wonderful. Oh, she would love you.
Speaker 3: She would love to have more black girls at her
Speaker 3: at her at her Airbnb. I know she would.
Speaker 1: Oh she was so.
Speaker 3: She was one of those white ladies that you just
Speaker 3: you know, I just maybe it's because my mom is white,
Speaker 3: but I just I just loved her. Even though she
Speaker 3: said problematic things. I just forgave her and I moved on.
Speaker 3: And I was like, you know what, like, she's doing
Speaker 3: what she She's doing what she's doing. It's not my
Speaker 3: job to make her do anything different. Nothing. I was
Speaker 3: not in danger. I love to be tokenized when you
Speaker 3: have that exquisite of a backyard.
Speaker 2: And Loki HAIKEI, I mean my daddy saying plopactic.
Speaker 1: I'm like, that's not daddy.
Speaker 3: I'm again, I'm going to talk about some racist immigrants
Speaker 3: like oh my gosh, minority is talking about other minorities.
Speaker 2: I will say this though, he has come a long
Speaker 2: Nigerian way, because you know.
Speaker 1: He used to be like a gay what is that?
Speaker 1: And now the other time he was.
Speaker 2: Like, you know, I hope Allah chooses Pete Buddha check
Speaker 2: and he was like him and his partner Daisy I said,
Speaker 2: not partner from a Nigerian.
Speaker 1: He said diner. Yeah. I was like and he was
Speaker 1: like always was I like him.
Speaker 2: He seemed like a good dad, a good I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, you know who really turned him around?
Speaker 1: Rachel Maddow.
Speaker 3: Oh I think you've told us that before. Rachel Maddow.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He was like, I think she's gay. I said nothing, definitely,
Speaker 1: And I could tell he was.
Speaker 3: Struggling with her, like, oh my god, like god, she's
Speaker 3: so smile.
Speaker 1: And then he was like all the things I've been told,
Speaker 1: he said, lie, Because.
Speaker 3: I was like, if Rachel's not going to heaven.
Speaker 2: No, no, Sometimes we got to give parents a little
Speaker 2: grace and facecause group at a time about where things
Speaker 2: were not okay, and you know, and of course, certainly
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not saying we got to excuse all
Speaker 2: the bad behavior.
Speaker 1: But I love you know, we love a turnaround story.
Speaker 2: And so the fact that he said partner, I was like,
Speaker 2: what in the.
Speaker 3: Let me just tell you. Every white person in Beverly
Speaker 3: Hills love to tell me how excited they were about
Speaker 3: Kamala when I they were so proud, including my Airbnb host,
Speaker 3: and she would go to her friend's house and come
Speaker 3: back three sheets to the why just I loved it.
Speaker 3: I just loved her as a character. I just was like, oh,
Speaker 3: you are everything, and she'd be like, we were all
Speaker 3: talking about Kamala and I told her about you know,
Speaker 3: they did the white lady version of the Zoom.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and they did great.
Speaker 2: It was Glennon Doyle, but to be clear, they were
Speaker 2: coached and the words advised by Lovey, a black woman.
Speaker 1: Love you really m hm.
Speaker 3: She a very hard gig.
Speaker 2: Well, she and Glenna are really close. They've been friends
Speaker 2: for a number of years. And so yeah, when Glenn saw,
Speaker 2: because you know, Glenn is a super ally so when
Speaker 2: went in saw you know, the what black women had done,
Speaker 2: she was like, no, we have to stand up and
Speaker 2: do something. They broke Zoom. I think they had one
Speaker 2: hundred and forty fifty fifty thousand women on Doom and
Speaker 2: kindly they were.
Speaker 1: It was incredible.
Speaker 2: They raised about two million dollars on that one call alone.
Speaker 2: And yeah, so I just want to be yes, it
Speaker 2: is and also too, I just want to be I
Speaker 2: love the fact that her name is Joe Cad, Joe Cardie,
Speaker 2: Joe Kate. She's a woman who started the Black Women
Speaker 2: Like Women. You know, I'm gonna say her name incorrectly,
Speaker 2: which I hate.
Speaker 3: Take a breath. Find out the.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I am gonna find Joe j Okay. I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm still gonna say it wrong.
Speaker 3: Even though do the Google thing where it like reads
Speaker 3: the name out oh maybe sucks or LinkedIn also does that.
Speaker 3: Sometimes they will put their name up. I love that.
Speaker 1: Oh, but I don't even know how to no.
Speaker 2: There she is okay so ja oh, Joe Taka, j
Speaker 2: O t.
Speaker 3: A k a Okaya Taka.
Speaker 1: Yes.
Speaker 2: So I met her at first because I had done
Speaker 2: something with own.
Speaker 1: She worked with Oprah a lot.
Speaker 2: I done something with own some of the years back.
Speaker 2: It was like some mini talk show like Black Women
Speaker 2: in Money, and she was the host. So I met
Speaker 2: her there, Joe Taka. She was so nice, edie. And
Speaker 2: then I actually saw her again. Remember I went to
Speaker 2: like it was like the International Women's Day or whatever,
Speaker 2: and they held it at the White House all the time.
Speaker 1: So and so I saw her there.
Speaker 2: She was so great. She was she literally took pictures
Speaker 2: of me. She's like, sit on this couch.
Speaker 1: He asked, girl, yes, and so was her m hm,
Speaker 1: so nice.
Speaker 2: And so when I saw that, it was she behind
Speaker 2: kind of like this movement so black women. If I'm
Speaker 2: being candid, I know so many of us heard that
Speaker 2: the current president, Joe Biden, president of Minden, was not
Speaker 2: going to seek re election and nomination. That we were like,
Speaker 2: and he said, you know, I'm throwing my weight behind Kamala.
Speaker 2: I think all of us were like.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, like that would be great, but America
Speaker 1: not America, if you will.
Speaker 2: So I think we're all nervous, like I guess not
Speaker 2: because of her qualifications, but more so.
Speaker 3: Like I don't know, will vote for her?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Yes, And then you know, Jotaka was like, girl, we
Speaker 2: are about to do that.
Speaker 1: That same boom, she said black women. She set the
Speaker 1: tone and since then, I've seen white women for Kamala.
Speaker 2: I sawt like there's a there was this, uh, I
Speaker 2: guess wherever Trump has something in Florida, like whatever neighborhood
Speaker 2: they mark, So they did a golf a golf cart
Speaker 2: like like in that area for Kamala.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I love that troll him within an
Speaker 3: interest of life America.
Speaker 2: I mean, and all these uber wealthy older white Americans
Speaker 2: that you would think, no way, they're all going to
Speaker 2: vote for no. And so yeah, it has been you know,
Speaker 2: like amazing and so low key high key. When I
Speaker 2: went to the Vice President's residence. Like a member of
Speaker 2: her staff was like, oh, this is before it was announced,
Speaker 2: and I don't know that even she knew, but anyway,
Speaker 2: they had asked she's on an economic empowerment tour I
Speaker 2: think an economic compairment tour, and they were like, Tipicanly,
Speaker 2: we'd love for you to join her on tour.
Speaker 1: I was like what, And.
Speaker 2: You know, I was like, okay, But you know, now
Speaker 2: with all these changes, I don't know what that means
Speaker 2: about being candid because we can all see, like because
Speaker 2: now it's more than an economic empowerment tour and so
Speaker 2: I don't know what it all would look like or
Speaker 2: even that offers to open I'm certainly talking behind the scenes,
Speaker 2: so you might see your girl on tour with.
Speaker 3: The first you told you. When you told me that
Speaker 3: news the first time, I was like, thank God, it's you.
Speaker 3: Like I think they're doing the right thing when they're
Speaker 3: reaching out to you to be yeah, to be a
Speaker 3: conduit for that message, and I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 2: So, like I said, we'll see because we have you know,
Speaker 2: like it's it's still up in the air because of
Speaker 2: all that's happened.
Speaker 1: That's when I spoken to you know, her office.
Speaker 2: They were like, oh, as you can imagine, it's a
Speaker 2: little scrambly over here, but let's connect this week and
Speaker 2: see like what that might look like. And so I said, girl,
Speaker 2: just let me know, tag me in and like, can
Speaker 2: you imagine when she wins the presidency, I will have
Speaker 2: a video of the President of the United States talking
Speaker 2: about talking hey mommy to my mom.
Speaker 3: Girl, my mother. Their first black president, not just I
Speaker 3: mean sorry, the first black female president and South Asian president.
Speaker 2: My mom is gonna be like, you're not gonna be
Speaker 2: able to tell Sylvia Oli not a damn thing.
Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, oh my god, I'm so ready And ba
Speaker 3: fam where I told y'all before we even knew about Kamala,
Speaker 3: I said, I'm choosing hope, I'm choosing optimism, and I'm
Speaker 3: lining up all these great guests. We're gonna have the
Speaker 3: most incredible fun time. We're gonna have an actual fun
Speaker 3: time talking about the election and all the issues that
Speaker 3: matter to black women. I cannot wait.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a special Yeah, we're not gonna say.
Speaker 3: We can't say, but I think there's three guests who
Speaker 3: I have been dying to have on the show and
Speaker 3: I am so excited. So get ready it's all gonna
Speaker 3: start in September October, the Road to twenty twenty four.
Speaker 4: Yeah, uh huh, but no, cydbar you told me something
Speaker 4: not to be in all your business, which you had
Speaker 4: to say is something you were at this conference that
Speaker 4: you realize something about yourself.
Speaker 2: That attributed to your ability to like be a really
Speaker 2: good negotiator. And it's it's not something that people would
Speaker 2: think do you want to say? It was like, you know,
Speaker 2: it's a two personal don't take it personal.
Speaker 3: I have been I am dying to share it with
Speaker 3: you and shake and thank you to Chris Brown of
Speaker 3: Popcorn Finance, my new brother from another mother, brother from
Speaker 3: another mother, because he was the first audience. I worked
Speaker 3: out this, like, uh, this train of thought on while
Speaker 3: we were hiking in the canyons, like you know, trying
Speaker 3: to be cool in California and dying from heat stroke.
Speaker 3: And so I get so butterfly when I when I
Speaker 3: say this, Okay, so I realized why I am so
Speaker 3: effing good at what I do? And you know, Chris
Speaker 3: was like, so where do you think that comes from?
Speaker 3: I've been asked before, like how do you negotiate. I
Speaker 3: was telling him all these tips. He's like, I got
Speaker 3: this agent and he told me one of the deals
Speaker 3: the agent got and I was like, please, here's what
Speaker 3: I would ask for. And he's like, where does that
Speaker 3: come from? And then I was like starting to back
Speaker 3: up to the day before we hung out. I had
Speaker 3: invited I had looked up an old friend from the
Speaker 3: from in the area who was who I met in
Speaker 3: journalism years ago, like full disclosure and husband knows this.
Speaker 3: I used to have a crush on this guy, like
Speaker 3: way back when I was like eighteen or whenever I
Speaker 3: was how old am I now? Twenty years ago? But anyway,
Speaker 3: found out that he had been like really sick just
Speaker 3: generally wanted to like reconnect, and we hung out and
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, I still have a crum crush.
Speaker 3: Two thousand and eight is calling. They say you still
Speaker 3: got a crush, and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 3: I'm not dead. But also I'm like, I'm a married
Speaker 3: woman and I love my husband, so no, so what
Speaker 3: did I decide to do. Most people, I realized, would
Speaker 3: just would just like, I don't know, stop hanging out
Speaker 3: with them and just you know. But then like that
Speaker 3: never like whatever. I decided to tell him why I
Speaker 3: didn't want to hang out. The next day, I was like,
Speaker 3: and I was, and I was just like, hey, I
Speaker 3: gotta be honest. Kind of have a crush on you.
Speaker 3: I realize that's not okay. You got a girlfriend, I
Speaker 3: have a husband and two children, but like, you know,
Speaker 3: let's just be honest. We talked about how life was
Speaker 3: too short, and I was like, I'm just letting you know,
Speaker 3: canceling your invite for tomorrow at the pool, like you're
Speaker 3: not coming, have a good life. And I sent it
Speaker 3: and I was so like, this is the part of
Speaker 3: me that felt like, oh my god, I still got it,
Speaker 3: Like I'm still that bold just do the scary thing,
Speaker 3: jump off a cliff, but make it a personal conversation
Speaker 3: instead of an actual cliff kind of girl. And I
Speaker 3: was telling Chris about this and he was dying, you guys, Chris,
Speaker 3: if you've ever seen a person just folden on themselves
Speaker 3: like he was a sheet of paper, And me telling
Speaker 3: him what I told my friend, He was like, why
Speaker 3: did you do that? And he was so deeply uncomfortable
Speaker 3: with it, and I realized, like that's my adrenaline high.
Speaker 3: I love it. Love. I love saying something out loud
Speaker 3: that nobody expects, like at a one to one. So
Speaker 3: and that was not my first time. I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm having a memory now when I was fifteen years old,
Speaker 3: Like I had been telling boys I like them just
Speaker 3: for the hell of it, for the thrill of it,
Speaker 3: and asking them on dates since I was fifteen. And
Speaker 3: this is the first time I publicly admitted this. But yeah,
Speaker 3: when I was fifteen, there's a boy on the bus,
Speaker 3: as there are and I just fell in love with
Speaker 3: the back of his head. I thought he was so cute.
Speaker 3: I was brand new to the school and I don't know,
Speaker 3: being new to the school, I felt like, nobody knows
Speaker 3: you like reinvent yourself. Ask a boy out fifteen. I
Speaker 3: don't know. I think I watched too much Oprah after school,
Speaker 3: but something. So, how do you feel in your body
Speaker 3: right now, Tiffany, are you feeling.
Speaker 2: I am yes, because you know me, I'm literally the
Speaker 2: exact opposite.
Speaker 1: So I am this terrified, scary.
Speaker 2: Remember I told you what have Pinatier Dreiell passed away
Speaker 2: because he was like my magic mirror on the wall
Speaker 2: was like, girl, the reflection.
Speaker 1: Is always what big unipo and then without Darrell hair
Speaker 1: was like, who don't know how I look?
Speaker 2: And I was feeling very n hinged, and dating and
Speaker 2: all the things was so stressful. I thought I was
Speaker 2: going to have like many panic attacks, which I did.
Speaker 2: So you saying this is so the antithesis, Like I
Speaker 2: admire this so much because I could, like a man
Speaker 2: would have to tell me, hey, I really like you
Speaker 2: and find you really attractive.
Speaker 1: And I'm still like, you're.
Speaker 2: Talking to me here the girl behind me, like, it's
Speaker 2: so don't continue that you told this fifteen year old boy,
Speaker 2: And first of all, I'm laughing at them about that.
Speaker 3: I was also fifteen. Let's speak clear on that. Oh
Speaker 3: my god, they going to clip out of that without
Speaker 3: the context.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, when you were fifteen, that's so relatable.
Speaker 2: I have definitely fallen in love with the back of
Speaker 2: my boy's head like a background. I love the way
Speaker 2: his haircurs right here, girl, who is he even?
Speaker 3: Oh my god, So you told him? No, I didn't
Speaker 3: tell him. I straight top asked him out. So okay,
Speaker 3: it was the week of Valentine's Day. I might have
Speaker 3: told my sister that was my plan, and she might
Speaker 3: have told me please don't do that, but I was like,
Speaker 3: m and I just you know, I'm such an imaginative
Speaker 3: person on the bus, I just imagine this whole storyline
Speaker 3: where I was going to go up to him at
Speaker 3: his locker and I'd be like, hey, so, I like you,
Speaker 3: would you ever want to go out on a date?
Speaker 3: And then I did it. I walked, I followed him
Speaker 3: a little backpacks on, you know, my little pay left shoes,
Speaker 3: click a clock cook to his locker and I was like, hey,
Speaker 3: so and so, yeah, I think you're really cute. Would
Speaker 3: you ever want to go on a date with me?
Speaker 3: And and here's the thing, and I'll just I'll stop
Speaker 3: the story then and now we're married. No, that's not
Speaker 3: what happened, but I'll tell you before I get to
Speaker 3: what happened next. All I have to say is, for me,
Speaker 3: it is not about what they say, like say I
Speaker 3: like you too, I don't like you, like get the
Speaker 3: f away from me. It's not about that. For me,
Speaker 3: it's the thrill of like just saying the truth out
Speaker 3: loud and just like not dying after, Like you're actually
Speaker 3: not going to bloat into flames if you put yourself
Speaker 3: out there in that way. Anyway, he had a girlfriend
Speaker 3: and he was super nice about it, and he was like, actually, no,
Speaker 3: I have a girlfriend. She goes to different school. And
Speaker 3: I was like, okay, cool, see you around, see you
Speaker 3: in homeroom. And that was the first time. And I
Speaker 3: have done oh my god, I have done that multiple
Speaker 3: times in my life. Sometimes when we're working out, Like
Speaker 3: right before I met Enrique, I was on the war path.
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm by me a mate in New York.
Speaker 3: I really no, I'm not kidding. I was telling Chris.
Speaker 3: I'm like, Chris, Oh, Chris, bless his heart. I think
Speaker 3: I gave him heart failure. He's a very nice boy anyway,
Speaker 3: But I'm like, yeah, I just kind of like would
Speaker 3: decide I didn't want to waste time. I mean, it's
Speaker 3: not wasting time to have a really good friend, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean. Like, I love meeting new people,
Speaker 3: but when you actually develop feelings, it's quite uncomfortable to
Speaker 3: be in that presence, like especially if they're unrequited, requitted requited.
Speaker 3: So for me, it was just like, let me just
Speaker 3: see if this is going anywhere, because if it's not,
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna like continue bringing my energy, my sparkle.
Speaker 3: I'm fabulous, just like give that energy to someone else,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: You are and I just I am I that so much.
Speaker 2: And I can see that in grown Mandy now and
Speaker 2: how you negotiate on your own behalf business and career
Speaker 2: and otherwise.
Speaker 3: There's I mean, it's exactly the same rush of just
Speaker 3: telling someone And this is just me saying I was
Speaker 3: gonna do it, my brown, my brown boost, but I
Speaker 3: challenge you even like and it does. I don't believe
Speaker 3: there's any shame in that as a grown woman. Yes
Speaker 3: I'm married, Yes I have a kid, but like I'm
Speaker 3: not dead, Like we're adults, you know, So just saying like, hey,
Speaker 3: I really have like a crush on you, or whatever
Speaker 3: you want however you want to say it, Okay, maybe
Speaker 3: don't do that. I am a little cuckoo for coconuts
Speaker 3: Coco clubs. I know that you don't need to tell.
Speaker 3: But for me, it was just like it was a
Speaker 3: little bit. It was so thrilling, and it was just
Speaker 3: like I it just reminded me how bold and awesome
Speaker 3: I can be and beautiful, oh yeah, bold and beild
Speaker 3: and beautiful. And then I and then you know, Chris
Speaker 3: was asking me more about my you know, negotiating when like,
Speaker 3: as for creators, I had just given a talk at
Speaker 3: this women in Money event and it was all about
Speaker 3: how to It's called bank your brand, so it's about
Speaker 3: how you can negotiate on your behalf get brands like
Speaker 3: all of that. And I said, I think I finally
Speaker 3: have the answer. I'm just I love that adrenaline rush.
Speaker 3: I can I can withstand it, like I can withstand
Speaker 3: the dread and the anticipation and all of that, and
Speaker 3: I can do it and I can walk away and
Speaker 3: just coming down from that high. Ugh, there's nothing like it.
Speaker 3: And Chris was like, I know you probably skydive before
Speaker 3: having you. I was like, yeah, you have paragliding, Yes,
Speaker 3: skydiving paragliding. So I hitchhiked down. I hitchhiked, you know,
Speaker 3: I said yes to a boy who asked me to
Speaker 3: go hitchhiking up and down the coast of Chili. I
Speaker 3: was like, yeah, cool, sounds good. Eighteen wheeler would love
Speaker 3: to tag along.
Speaker 2: So one thing I really admire too is that a
Speaker 2: lot of people would have one felt the crush, two
Speaker 2: not said anything to the crush, and then three not
Speaker 2: said anything to their partner, But you told your partner.
Speaker 3: Maybe I just talked too much. Now, yeah, I told him.
Speaker 3: I was like, because I wanted him to know what
Speaker 3: an incredible week I had. I wanted him to know
Speaker 3: how amazing this was for me to just like to
Speaker 3: like be by myself and to and to listen. He
Speaker 3: always has my location anyway, like there's no Also the
Speaker 3: best thing about my husband is just like how little
Speaker 3: he he how he knows like I'm ninety nine percent
Speaker 3: just talk and like just like tap dancing and like,
Speaker 3: you know, I just say all I see things all
Speaker 3: the time to try to like get a rise out
Speaker 3: of him, and he just doesn't give me any reaction.
Speaker 1: They called they called the beige flag.
Speaker 3: The beige flag. Oh yeah, he's like, he's.
Speaker 2: Just like, so, how did that conversation go with the
Speaker 2: girls who are like, ah.
Speaker 3: Wait it went?
Speaker 2: Man?
Speaker 3: I wish it was exciting. I was just like I
Speaker 3: couldn't I couldn't contain it. I was like, I have
Speaker 3: to tell you something. And I told him and I
Speaker 3: was like, nothing happened, blah blah blah blah blah, and
Speaker 3: he was just he just made this face. He was
Speaker 3: just like, okay, so about these are rapists. We were
Speaker 3: going to the restaurant. No, I'm not kidding. He's like,
Speaker 3: what kind of a rippa do you want? Are you
Speaker 3: going to do? Going on dynasts take that's all he
Speaker 3: knows you.
Speaker 2: He's like, girl, this is my girl, and so you know,
Speaker 2: but I love that, Like I think, I think it's
Speaker 2: important that people in healthy relationships show like you know,
Speaker 2: because it's it's not unhealthy to be like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: that person's really cool. And it's also not unhealthy to
Speaker 2: tell your partner like, you know, you have a say.
Speaker 2: What that signals to me is that you have a
Speaker 2: safe space to have that conversation with h Yeah, you know,
Speaker 2: because some places couldn't, like some some partners would absolutely
Speaker 2: blow up.
Speaker 1: That's why I didn't want you to go by yourself.
Speaker 1: You can't ever go out of there.
Speaker 2: And it's like it shows the health that you have
Speaker 2: in yourself, but also the healthy relationship we have with him,
Speaker 2: and so no, I just love that.
Speaker 1: And I love that you can.
Speaker 2: Trace your ability to navigate the hard financial conversations to
Speaker 2: being able to advocate for yourself when it came to you,
Speaker 2: like your romantic interests as a young woman. That's like
Speaker 2: so critical, you know, And so I think so many
Speaker 2: of your whole are raising, you know, young people, especially girls,
Speaker 2: this sense of confidence to instill in them because you
Speaker 2: might think it's just this, it's not. It's going to
Speaker 2: follow them into the future about how they feel about
Speaker 2: themselves when they're six and ten and fifteen.
Speaker 1: Is how you feel about yourself in the boardroom when.
Speaker 2: You're thirty and forty five and fifty, it absolutely matters,
Speaker 2: Like I am a testament to I had to claw
Speaker 2: my way back to like feeling good about myself because
Speaker 2: I was allowing things to happen in business that ought not.
Speaker 1: To be because I was like, well, maybe just I
Speaker 1: just kind of saw it. Maybe I just like let
Speaker 1: me just be easy and let me just be and so.
Speaker 2: Losing out because I wasn't bold as like as I
Speaker 2: was deserving to be for myself. And so no, I
Speaker 2: love that, and honestly I admire that so much, Mane.
Speaker 2: I think underlying I kind of sensed that in you,
Speaker 2: like I probably didn't have the wording for it. And
Speaker 2: it's like one of the things I like, I really
Speaker 2: love most about you is that the sense of like, girl,
Speaker 2: if it could be gotten, I'm gonna get it.
Speaker 3: You know, well I don't get it. Sometimes I just
Speaker 3: say it, I want it.
Speaker 1: I'm okay.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like, you know, you missed one hundred percent
Speaker 3: of the shots you don't take. It's literally the tagline
Speaker 3: yeah and I and I. It's just the adrenaline rush.
Speaker 3: I think it's I think it's exactly why you see
Speaker 3: people like do the cliff, like the base jumping, where
Speaker 3: you just hurl yourself off a cliff. It goes against
Speaker 3: everything and your anatomy, like your biology to put yourself
Speaker 3: in that kind of peril. And I don't think there's
Speaker 3: that much different. There's not that much difference between like
Speaker 3: negotiating or just asking for more, or going going after
Speaker 3: an opportunity or going after a crush whatever. And you know, again,
Speaker 3: Chris love him so much. He listened to all of
Speaker 3: this and then he was he was like, you won't
Speaker 3: tell your husband. I was like, yeah, shut up, just
Speaker 3: it's fine, it's fine, keep biking. And what was it
Speaker 3: that he said? He was like, oh, I'd be too scared,
Speaker 3: And I'm like, but that's the thing. I'm always scared.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm all.
Speaker 3: I was touch I mean, I was like, I was
Speaker 3: awkward and you know, and nervous to say the thing
Speaker 3: out loud, you know, and to the guy. And I'm
Speaker 3: nervous what every time I negotiate, And it didn't it Also,
Speaker 3: I think it helped matters that the day that I
Speaker 3: did that, I had helped two badass Mandy moneymakers with
Speaker 3: their negotiations. They both got offers on the table, one
Speaker 3: for like forty K more than she was making, one
Speaker 3: for thirty K more than she was making. And every
Speaker 3: time I'm negotiating with them, I still get a little nervous.
Speaker 3: I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna ask for more, and like
Speaker 3: they have to do it, you know. And I just
Speaker 3: try to tell them I can coach them and what
Speaker 3: to ask for and all of that. But at the
Speaker 3: end of the day, it's them picking up the phone
Speaker 3: and calling or sending that email, and I just I
Speaker 3: never lie about it's gonna be scary. The point is
Speaker 3: push through the fear and do it anyway. And that
Speaker 3: I and that's the hard part. It's not because you're scared,
Speaker 3: it's because you're too afraid that you won't survive the
Speaker 3: fear like to push through it.
Speaker 1: Ooh, you think you won't, so the fear.
Speaker 3: You think the fear is going to consume you, But
Speaker 3: really if you don't. On the other side of that
Speaker 3: fear is freedom. Whatever happens, you said it, you did it.
Speaker 3: You know the outcome. So I will. Nine times out
Speaker 3: of ten, I'm walking through that fear fire and I
Speaker 3: will be so much happier and free on the other side.
Speaker 3: So Beverly Hills, Baby, Beverly Hills, Mandy, you might be
Speaker 3: seeing me again. I don't know, but I'm definitely going
Speaker 3: to try to incorporate so much more solo travel because
Speaker 3: I just love hanging out with myself and being in
Speaker 3: new places and I don't get to. Not that I
Speaker 3: don't get to, but yeah, I just haven't had the
Speaker 3: space for that, and I want to make more of that.
Speaker 3: It felt really damn good. And I hope my kids
Speaker 3: also will see like me coming back so happy going
Speaker 3: and traveling alone and being brave and all of that.
Speaker 3: I hope to instill that in them as well.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think on that note, we're gonna take a
Speaker 2: break and come back with some brown break brown booz
Speaker 2: All right right back, he off, we pay some bills,
Speaker 2: and we're back, and now it's time to boost up.
Speaker 1: Break up, boost up, break up, boost up, break up? Boost?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna boost? Are you gonna break? What you're
Speaker 1: gonna do to do what you're gonna take? So and
Speaker 1: then I decide I'm gonna go first, and I'm.
Speaker 2: Going to do a boost because I have been and
Speaker 2: my boost is for transitions, because they're a bitch.
Speaker 1: Okay, here's the thing.
Speaker 2: I've been going through a lot of transition obviously, but
Speaker 2: lately more there's just been so many changes, from leaving
Speaker 2: my house that I build my husband to this condo
Speaker 2: where largely I'm by myself, although I did ask my
Speaker 2: baby sister Lisa to stay with me for the summer
Speaker 2: so I can make an easier transition of it here.
Speaker 2: Even transitioning you know into like dating and like partnership again. Business,
Speaker 2: there's a lot of transitions happening in business that are scary.
Speaker 2: The growth is is scary but necessary. Even Brann and Bishen,
Speaker 2: we're gonna be transitioning. We have some like exciting transitions
Speaker 2: that we're going to have. You guys, you know that
Speaker 2: really just going to take Brann and bishon to the
Speaker 2: next level, and something that you said earlier in.
Speaker 1: The app really sparked that.
Speaker 2: I think sometimes people look at you, Mandy, or people
Speaker 2: like you, and they think that you're doing the thing unafraid,
Speaker 2: and I think, really a good aha moment is that, like, oh,
Speaker 2: so Manby is afraid, but she's just always, you know,
Speaker 2: like that she has just reminded herself that the fear
Speaker 2: doesn't kill, you know, and that if you can get
Speaker 2: past it, then like, you know, what's on the other
Speaker 2: side typically is so much much better. And so it
Speaker 2: has been a lot I'm not gonna lie so many changes,
Speaker 2: I mean, but now I couldn't even sleep here by myself,
Speaker 2: like the first night, like coming to the condo.
Speaker 1: I had bought this place.
Speaker 2: It took me a while to even start to renovate,
Speaker 2: and then even the renovations, I was throwing monkey wrenches
Speaker 2: left and.
Speaker 1: Right to slow it down.
Speaker 2: And then even when it's done, I refused to come
Speaker 2: here to like I would come here during the day,
Speaker 2: but I could not sleep here. And then I asked
Speaker 2: for my therapist said, why don't you ask for someone
Speaker 2: to spend the night? First few nights until my sister
Speaker 2: Lisa did, and it made it so much easier. And
Speaker 2: now I'm not gonna lie, like I really love it here.
Speaker 2: I mean it is beautiful and designed exactly to my
Speaker 2: rich auntie afrocentric traveling specifica. I mean, it is amazing
Speaker 2: here and it feels like home. And when I go
Speaker 2: back to the house, that still feels like home too.
Speaker 2: So I think I thought I was gonna be like
Speaker 2: stripped and ripped away, and even now more so, like
Speaker 2: I was talking to my partner, I know, it's crazy
Speaker 2: because it's like three years ago. You know, Drop passed
Speaker 2: away three years ago, and three years I know, isn't
Speaker 2: that crazy.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna lie. I didn't think I was gonna
Speaker 1: be here.
Speaker 2: I just was like wishing for me to go to
Speaker 2: sleep and not wake up, you know, like that was usually.
Speaker 1: That was like my ardent prayer, Like I could just
Speaker 1: go to sleep and not wake up. That would be great.
Speaker 1: Thanks God. So I'm up again.
Speaker 2: Great you're obviously not listening, like for real, our turbulence
Speaker 2: on a plane. I was like, if that's what we're
Speaker 2: gonna do, let's do it. I mean that's what I
Speaker 2: used to think. So the fact that I'm here is
Speaker 2: a miracle itself, because I just felt like everything went
Speaker 2: away when he went away. But the fact that I'm
Speaker 2: here and that I have found like a partner again,
Speaker 2: I don't know, Like I don't I'm still in this
Speaker 2: weird space where, like, you know, I've had an amazing marriage.
Speaker 2: I'm not opposed to getting married again, but I don't
Speaker 2: feel the urgency that I did in my thirties. You
Speaker 2: know how that goes. I just feel like, I mean,
Speaker 2: if that happens, great, and if it doesn't, okay, But
Speaker 2: I will say that I'm in a really healthy, happy,
Speaker 2: communicative partnership that builds on all of the amazing love
Speaker 2: and lessons that I learned from Jerell. Like I could
Speaker 2: not have this partnership without what I had with Jerrell,
Speaker 2: you know, because he taught me, He really healed me
Speaker 2: and taught me what healthy relationship look like. And then
Speaker 2: from there I got to now experience what I'm experiencing now,
Speaker 2: and he's just loving and lovely and so much grace
Speaker 2: to grieve whenever, and so yeah, and so I just think, like,
Speaker 2: and it was hard because I made him work JOm.
Speaker 1: I mean, it was a lot of therapy, Like doctor green.
Speaker 1: I think it's a lot. She's like, well, wow, wow,
Speaker 1: would he benefit from I knew.
Speaker 3: I knew when you guys early in your relationship when
Speaker 3: y'all were reading the Attached book, Yes, and like he was.
Speaker 3: Y'all were meeting weekly to discuss chapters. And I was like, oh,
Speaker 3: this boy is in it, Like is he has whooked?
Speaker 3: She has him right where she wants him. Why are
Speaker 3: you here? Go away?
Speaker 2: What an amazing subch I just want to say that,
Speaker 2: like you know. And so I thought to myself, like,
Speaker 2: is it a portrayal? Like transition? It's another transition, like
Speaker 2: if I care and love someone else, is this a
Speaker 2: portrayal to like my love and care for Jirelle, Because
Speaker 2: that's a transition too, And doctor Renold reminds me that
Speaker 2: it's it's different, You're not.
Speaker 1: One of the best kind of like ways that.
Speaker 2: She reframed it is that do you know anybody with children?
Speaker 2: I said yes, and I think I actually brought up you, Mandy,
Speaker 2: and she said, well, you know, I'm sure if you
Speaker 2: would ask like your friend, your sister or your friend
Speaker 2: Mandy when their first kid of ride, they were like,
Speaker 2: I don't think I can love another human being more
Speaker 2: than this little baby right here, Like my heart is
Speaker 2: so full. It's just I didn't know this kind of
Speaker 2: love is possible. It just unfolded something, right. And then
Speaker 2: they had baby number two, and it wasn't like, ooh,
Speaker 2: so sorry, mabe number two. Baby number one took up
Speaker 2: all the space, so you're gonna have to figure you're
Speaker 2: gonna have to live on love scraps.
Speaker 1: No, she said, what love does is that it increases
Speaker 1: your capacity for more love.
Speaker 2: It really does. And that was like okay, and she
Speaker 2: was like, that's why someone can have a child, love
Speaker 2: that child so much. Think I could not possibly love
Speaker 2: anybody like this, have another child to be like and
Speaker 2: here we are again. And so she said, because you
Speaker 2: were so loved well loved by Jirell, and because you
Speaker 2: loved Durell so much, it increased your capacity to love
Speaker 2: and be loved again. So this is not an erasure.
Speaker 2: This is an add on, you know. And I just
Speaker 2: was like, okay. So that helped a lot with the
Speaker 2: guilt of like is it okay to continue living when
Speaker 2: he has not?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: So yeah, And just like transition, with transition, you know,
Speaker 2: there's just financial transitions, you know, like my company has
Speaker 2: the opportunity to just explode. And so even that, like,
Speaker 2: I'm just trying to be open. And I hope what
Speaker 2: you guys took away from the earlier episode or earlier
Speaker 2: in the episode is that.
Speaker 1: That there is no separation.
Speaker 2: That the way if I'm not open to emotional and
Speaker 2: mental and like transition, then it also like affects the
Speaker 2: way I earn and manage my money.
Speaker 1: It's like where you're closed here, you're closed in general.
Speaker 2: And so I'm realizing that like in order for me
Speaker 2: to have access to all the good things financial and otherwise,
Speaker 2: I have to really be open and to despite the fear,
Speaker 2: move forward.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I'm just grateful. I'm just grateful for
Speaker 1: the good people in my life.
Speaker 2: I think by you, Mandy, I mean we have been
Speaker 2: through a lot, girl, I have been through a lot.
Speaker 1: I think are.
Speaker 3: I would say the most. I mean I believe the
Speaker 3: best is the best is yet to come. Anyway, I
Speaker 3: believe it's all ahead of us. But I also think
Speaker 3: that thank God for this show because because we really
Speaker 3: have a time capsule, I mean, the most action packed
Speaker 3: years for our existence.
Speaker 1: I mean.
Speaker 3: All of back Mondays. If you want to know about
Speaker 3: old Mandy and old Tiffany. I mean.
Speaker 2: I buy my pack panties from Target or if my
Speaker 2: girl at least go to marshl That was like.
Speaker 3: You know, I don't want a baby. No, I can't
Speaker 3: get enough. I want to two more.
Speaker 2: But yeah, so I just like, you know, I just
Speaker 2: wanted to dedicate my my brown boost to transitions and
Speaker 2: say I'm so grateful for you. Do Wan I said,
Speaker 2: I know we are podcast official.
Speaker 1: Do Wan is the one?
Speaker 3: Wan is the one? I said, do Wan is the one?
Speaker 3: Do Wan is one? All?
Speaker 2: I know because I said, because we've been like keeping
Speaker 2: it low, and he's just like, oh, let me find
Speaker 2: out that. Like you know how like many usually the
Speaker 2: ones that don't want to he said, I'm this close, Tiffany,
Speaker 2: I'm not the post. I'm about the post on social
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, Like, why does it matter
Speaker 2: if people know? He's like, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 2: I'm proud to be with you. Yeah, and I don't
Speaker 2: want to have to hide it. I'm like, well, I'm
Speaker 2: not hiding it. I'm just private. It's not a man,
Speaker 2: I'm just private. And so yeah, I guess.
Speaker 3: To the fee post him in the feed let him
Speaker 3: know we slow, but like, yeah, so storys are all
Speaker 3: around me like a little story I tell.
Speaker 1: So that is my boost.
Speaker 3: I'm going to co sign your boost because I don't
Speaker 3: want to follow that, and I think it was it
Speaker 3: was a co boost And I love you so I
Speaker 3: was going to use a bad word. I love you
Speaker 3: so much genuinely.
Speaker 1: I don't love you too many for real.
Speaker 2: That's so grateful if you would have told them, I
Speaker 2: don't think that anyone, because I mean, yeah, just to
Speaker 2: think of where we are now, like the growth, you know,
Speaker 2: the friendship up, the down, the just yeah, this has
Speaker 2: been like this podcast has been such a blessing something.
Speaker 1: That I was like, okay, you know, but it's been
Speaker 1: like this.
Speaker 2: Constant, you know, in my life, and as a results,
Speaker 2: so have you and our friends who has just grown
Speaker 2: and developed in ways I could not have imagined when
Speaker 2: we first decided, like.
Speaker 1: Let's do this thing. You know.
Speaker 3: So I love you too, girl, We love you, ba
Speaker 3: fam Yes, love you so much. Please leave a review
Speaker 3: for us if you're out there in the internet streets.
Speaker 3: I'm gonna see if we've got any. Did you read
Speaker 3: that review that I texted you to wasn't it funny?
Speaker 1: Did you text me?
Speaker 3: There's like several texts that you have not got.
Speaker 1: It's been so crazy. I am don't worry. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: I'm gonna.
Speaker 3: No, okay, this one oh it was dropped the name
Speaker 3: Sis from car Kayla Ray and Kayla Ray and said,
Speaker 3: drop the name Sis. You ladies give me life. I
Speaker 3: seriously consider you both my aunties whose advice I actually
Speaker 3: listened to. I appreciate the kindness. Excuse me, I appreciate
Speaker 3: the kindness, tough love and everything in between. I came
Speaker 3: here to leave a good review, obviously, but also to
Speaker 3: say drop the name Sis. We want to know who
Speaker 3: was trying not to pay Tiffany for her speaking engagements.
Speaker 2: I don't like to drop the name because sometimes they'd
Speaker 2: be coming back around, and I don't want to be like,
Speaker 2: you know, but for your snocky mouth, we was gonna
Speaker 2: pay you.
Speaker 3: So we don't want just a good punchline to block blessings,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? And our dollar signs and
Speaker 3: then diva six number number numbers, says I adore the podcast.
Speaker 3: These are my besties. I have learned so much listening
Speaker 3: to them, just like having a conversation with good friends.
Speaker 3: I'm so invested and I look forward to every episode.
Speaker 3: These women are family, that's all. That's like, you can't.
Speaker 3: There's no better compliment than that for me, not a
Speaker 3: personal finance podcast, Like come on, I was saying that
Speaker 3: about dr Show who Who.
Speaker 1: We all.
Speaker 3: So love y'all bee fam Until next time, check us
Speaker 3: out Monday, Wednesday and Fridays.
Speaker 1: Bye bye