1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: You know, I've found myself asking my mom for for 2 00:00:05,600 --> 00:00:08,200 Speaker 1: something very particular during this time in quarantine. 3 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:08,879 Speaker 2: What do you ask? 4 00:00:09,119 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 1: I said, Mom, I really need you to send me 5 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:16,479 Speaker 1: maya walitas gonzomee boio recipe right now. I was like, 6 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: I need my grandmother's gonsomete boio recipe right now. 7 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,360 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. You know I've written about this. 8 00:00:23,400 --> 00:00:27,120 Speaker 3: I've written about the the rituals of sickness that a 9 00:00:27,120 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 3: lot of Mexican and Mexican American families have. And whenever 10 00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 3: I'm sick, I always think of my aboilas calor dupoyo. 11 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,159 Speaker 3: I always think about like that to me is what 12 00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:37,880 Speaker 3: healing tastes and smells like. It sucks right now because 13 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,440 Speaker 3: I really wish I could have some again, and. 14 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:42,919 Speaker 1: I wish I could send it to you from Harlem 15 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:46,040 Speaker 1: to Brooklyn because I made some. I made some good. God, 16 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: I swear it was. 17 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:49,360 Speaker 2: Really really good. Oh my god. As soon as they 18 00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 2: let us out, I want something. 19 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:59,040 Speaker 1: From Futuro media. It's luck, you know, Usa, I'm Maria Inojosa. 20 00:01:12,800 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 1: By now, your life has probably been impacted in some 21 00:01:16,120 --> 00:01:20,280 Speaker 1: way by the coronavirus pandemic, and no matter where you live. 22 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: The expert advice is basically the same, stay at home 23 00:01:24,840 --> 00:01:28,720 Speaker 1: if you can social distance yourself and try to prevent 24 00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:32,200 Speaker 1: this spread. Now, the Latino USA team has been working 25 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:35,520 Speaker 1: remotely for the past several weeks. In fact, I'm recording 26 00:01:35,560 --> 00:01:38,760 Speaker 1: this from my home studio, and we're really lucky to 27 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:42,640 Speaker 1: be able to do this. But also, like you, this 28 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,440 Speaker 1: has been a hard transition. It's tough to confront this 29 00:01:46,560 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: as our temporary new normal. I was looking for advice, 30 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,720 Speaker 1: so I called up writer John Paul Bramer. He's the 31 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,400 Speaker 1: author of the popular advice column Ola Papi. 32 00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 3: You know, one thing that's sort of been going for 33 00:01:59,880 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 3: my mind a lot is that a lot of people 34 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,840 Speaker 3: are going through the same thing at once, and that's 35 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:05,600 Speaker 3: not a common experience at all. 36 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 1: As an advice columnist, John Paul has touched on a 37 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 1: large range of topics, from race to politics, to mental 38 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: health to sexuality, being queer and dating, and now he's 39 00:02:18,240 --> 00:02:21,520 Speaker 1: fielding questions about life in the time of a pandemic. 40 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:25,960 Speaker 1: I sat down with John Paul to talk about what 41 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,280 Speaker 1: it's like to give advice for a living and more specifically, 42 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:32,280 Speaker 1: what it's like to be giving advice in this moment 43 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:41,240 Speaker 1: and later he'll be answering questions from you. Well, let 44 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:46,520 Speaker 1: me get you the puppy. It's good to talk to 45 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,800 Speaker 1: you in quarantine. 46 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:49,840 Speaker 2: In quarantine, here we are. 47 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:53,200 Speaker 1: So dude, I need to know a little bit about this. Okay, 48 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:56,480 Speaker 1: how is it that you end up writing an advice column? 49 00:02:56,520 --> 00:02:57,920 Speaker 1: Was this something that you dreamed of? 50 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,639 Speaker 2: It's completely about accident. 51 00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 3: The way it happened is I was a freelancer living 52 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,360 Speaker 3: in Brooklyn at the time, working as a journalist for 53 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 3: NBC News, and I was really struggling to make it 54 00:03:10,080 --> 00:03:12,120 Speaker 3: as a writer. You know, it doesn't pay a whole lot, 55 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:15,880 Speaker 3: especially when you're just starting out. And Grinder, of all places, 56 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 3: had just launched a new outlet and they were looking 57 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,960 Speaker 3: for columnists to write new things get readers excited. So 58 00:03:23,080 --> 00:03:25,239 Speaker 3: I'm broke at the time, right, and I'm like, okay, 59 00:03:25,320 --> 00:03:28,360 Speaker 3: I want to write something every single week so that 60 00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:29,600 Speaker 3: I can make more checks. 61 00:03:29,639 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 1: Basically, No, then a second, that is such an echo 62 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,800 Speaker 1: they need it on this kind of thing to do that. 63 00:03:37,880 --> 00:03:40,880 Speaker 1: You're just like, okay, I gotta get paid. Oh my god, 64 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: I love this, okay, And then what happened. 65 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,840 Speaker 3: And then I was like okay, but the problem is 66 00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 3: I can't think of a new thing to write about 67 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:49,080 Speaker 3: every single week. I don't trust myself to find like 68 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:51,360 Speaker 3: a new subject. I don't want to think that hard. 69 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,000 Speaker 2: What do I do? 70 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 3: And then I was like, wait, there's a kind of 71 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 3: column out there where people bring the problem to you 72 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,120 Speaker 3: and they bring the subject to you, called an advice column. 73 00:04:01,200 --> 00:04:03,600 Speaker 3: And I was like, cool, people will write me letters. 74 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 3: You know, the gaze never run out of drama. I'll 75 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:09,280 Speaker 3: always have something to write about. It will be fine. 76 00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 3: And it originally started out as a spoof and advice column. 77 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:15,480 Speaker 3: I really thought I was going to be making a 78 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,600 Speaker 3: Dear Abbey parody and I was like, it's going to 79 00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 3: be really funny, it's going to be crazy blah blah 80 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:22,840 Speaker 3: blah blah blah. And I named it Ola Poppy because 81 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:24,800 Speaker 3: that was something that guys on Grinder said to me 82 00:04:24,839 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 3: a lot. 83 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 1: Oh no, like seriously, yes, seriously wait wait wait, So 84 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:34,200 Speaker 1: like the second men would find out and realize that 85 00:04:34,240 --> 00:04:37,919 Speaker 1: you're Latino, they would suddenly start saying Ola puppy. 86 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, that's what they would open with. Yes, 87 00:04:40,920 --> 00:04:43,200 Speaker 3: they would just be like Ola Poppy. It's like very 88 00:04:43,200 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 3: common on Grinder. It's this very like fetishizing, weird thing 89 00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,279 Speaker 3: to say, but I get it all the time, and 90 00:04:48,320 --> 00:04:49,760 Speaker 3: I was like, this is kind of funny. This is 91 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,120 Speaker 3: a way to reclaim that tie a little bit. I'm 92 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:53,920 Speaker 3: going to have people call me Ola Pappy, but it's 93 00:04:53,920 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 3: to ask me for advice, not nude pictures, you know 94 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:56,480 Speaker 3: what I mean. 95 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 2: So it's just like this will be fun. I can't wait. 96 00:05:00,160 --> 00:05:02,599 Speaker 3: And then a couple weeks go by and I get 97 00:05:02,839 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 3: so many letters, like more letters than I ever thought 98 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 3: I would get, and I started to have to take 99 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,440 Speaker 3: it seriously because some of the things people were coming 100 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:18,240 Speaker 3: to me with were very heavy. Obviously, when we're talking 101 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:22,320 Speaker 3: about the LGBT community, especially where it intersects with LATINX people, 102 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 3: you're going to get a lot of complicated emotions, a 103 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:27,440 Speaker 3: lot of unique experiences. And I was like, Okay, I 104 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,520 Speaker 3: guess I have to grow up a little bit. I 105 00:05:28,839 --> 00:05:31,200 Speaker 3: can't be a jokester as much as I would like 106 00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,320 Speaker 3: to be every single week because I actually want to 107 00:05:33,320 --> 00:05:39,120 Speaker 3: help people. I really do think that I grew up 108 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:41,839 Speaker 3: with the column and it's really turned into something that 109 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 3: I could have never predicted. I mean, if you told 110 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 3: me back in twenty seventeen when I launched this, that 111 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:49,720 Speaker 3: it would be a memoir, that it would be a 112 00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:52,560 Speaker 3: really popular newsletter, all this other stuff. I would be like, Oh, 113 00:05:52,600 --> 00:05:54,040 Speaker 3: you've got to be kidding me. This is a joke. 114 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 3: I'm just here to be funny. 115 00:05:58,120 --> 00:06:02,479 Speaker 1: So there's something. It's not just about the column, it's 116 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,599 Speaker 1: really I mean, you're a great writer, right, You're just 117 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:07,920 Speaker 1: able to put ideas down in your way that makes 118 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,320 Speaker 1: so much sense, super clear, very much of the moment. 119 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,840 Speaker 1: But the truth is, John Paul, is that you're also hilarious. 120 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:16,800 Speaker 2: Thank you. 121 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:19,600 Speaker 1: So were you always into humor? 122 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 2: So? 123 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 3: I grew up in rural Oklahoma. We were the only 124 00:06:23,480 --> 00:06:25,560 Speaker 3: Mexicans around. We were some of the only people around. 125 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:31,520 Speaker 3: Our neighbors were cows. My mother was voted in the 126 00:06:31,880 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 3: high school newspaper most likely to run a taco stand. 127 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,160 Speaker 3: If that tells you anything about the kind of town 128 00:06:36,200 --> 00:06:36,719 Speaker 3: I grew up in. 129 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 1: Oh my god, and that like that was serious, that 130 00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 1: was serious or it was a joke. 131 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely serious. 132 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:47,040 Speaker 3: Yes, But I also did grow up in a Mexican family, 133 00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 3: and we like to roast each other, and so from 134 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 3: a very young age I had to sort of get 135 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 3: a little bit witty, get a little bit quick, on 136 00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,359 Speaker 3: my feet or else. My mother was just going to 137 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:56,640 Speaker 3: destroy me at dinner every day. 138 00:06:57,640 --> 00:07:01,840 Speaker 1: So your questions for your column they really ranged. What 139 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,039 Speaker 1: are people looking for advice for? 140 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 3: One really common one is people who are looking for 141 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:13,160 Speaker 3: permission to be something, whether that's Latino, latina, or gay 142 00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 3: or bisexual or trans. They really want an authority figure 143 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 3: to come up and say, hey, I see you, and 144 00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 3: yes you are authentically you know x y or Z. 145 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:25,520 Speaker 3: That was something that was deeply programmed into me growing 146 00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,600 Speaker 3: up too, because I was like, God, I'm in Oklahoma. 147 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 3: You know, I wasn't raised with Spanish. I have all 148 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,040 Speaker 3: these things about me that feel fake, that feel false. 149 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 3: So in terms of what I do, I really enjoy 150 00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 3: taking on the roles that I have, because not only 151 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 3: is it sort of rare for a man to run 152 00:07:40,640 --> 00:07:43,600 Speaker 3: an advice calm these days before a Latino man, I really 153 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 3: feel like that's a whole lot of fun because I 154 00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:48,760 Speaker 3: get to embrace, you know, my sensitive side, my feminine side, 155 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:50,880 Speaker 3: and that's something that you know, as a kid, I 156 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 3: didn't think was on the table for me. And I 157 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 3: think that's sort of how we break out of that box. 158 00:07:56,160 --> 00:07:58,480 Speaker 3: We sort of just say, like, you know, I hear you, 159 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,280 Speaker 3: but I'm going to do my own thing, and it's 160 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 3: no less or more authentically Latino because of it. 161 00:08:10,640 --> 00:08:13,560 Speaker 1: Do you feel that, because of what we're living through 162 00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:17,680 Speaker 1: right now COVID nineteen, that there's kind of like a 163 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: self help renaissance? 164 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,200 Speaker 2: Oooh? 165 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,520 Speaker 3: I really do think that we as Latinos are at 166 00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:25,880 Speaker 3: our best when someone else is sick. I know that, 167 00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:29,080 Speaker 3: Like when I was sick as a kid, Myaboila would 168 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:31,560 Speaker 3: sort of stop being this like cranky, miser leal woman 169 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:33,960 Speaker 3: that she was, and she would become this like, oh me, hoh. 170 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:34,240 Speaker 2: You're sick. 171 00:08:34,280 --> 00:08:35,880 Speaker 3: Let me make you some soup, Let me just like 172 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:37,440 Speaker 3: help you, let me put a rag on your head, 173 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,920 Speaker 3: et cetera. I have that same instinct, I think. And 174 00:08:39,960 --> 00:08:41,960 Speaker 3: so while everything is sort of terrible right now and 175 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,840 Speaker 3: everything's falling apart, one thing that I have been busying 176 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,120 Speaker 3: myself with is seeing that my friends are tended to 177 00:08:47,120 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 3: just sort of checking in with them, being like, you know, 178 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,360 Speaker 3: how are you feeling right now? And the social media 179 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 3: is one thing, and that's sort of like this large 180 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,640 Speaker 3: audience where I can sort of talk about self help 181 00:08:56,679 --> 00:08:58,880 Speaker 3: and nebulous terms and abstract terms. But I think what's 182 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:02,120 Speaker 3: more important right now are the specific connections, Like I 183 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:04,240 Speaker 3: sort of feel closer to a lot of my friends 184 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:06,880 Speaker 3: right now than I did when I could physically see them, 185 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,959 Speaker 3: and it's because there's pain in between us, and it's 186 00:09:08,960 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 3: a shared pain. As horrible as everything is and as 187 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 3: much as I wish it wasn't happening, it's what we 188 00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 3: decide to do with our hurt, and it can bring 189 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 3: us together and it can help us discover more about 190 00:09:21,080 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 3: each other. And that's how I choose to look at 191 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,160 Speaker 3: it right now, because it's sort of keeping me sane. 192 00:09:26,080 --> 00:09:30,000 Speaker 1: A lot of people, including me, really have been struggling 193 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:35,400 Speaker 1: with the self isolation. But I am wondering, Mikherrido, John 194 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 1: Paul Puppy, what have you been doing to take care 195 00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 1: of you and what's been helpful for you in this time. 196 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:46,280 Speaker 3: So for the first couple of weeks, I just sort 197 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,120 Speaker 3: of gave up on trying to understand where my head 198 00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,440 Speaker 3: was at. And I think that was important because I think, 199 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:53,520 Speaker 3: you know, one of the things you want to do 200 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,599 Speaker 3: in terms of getting back to quote unquote normal is 201 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:59,200 Speaker 3: to sort of understand what you're feeling, understand what's happening, 202 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,400 Speaker 3: and get back on t but sometimes the desire to 203 00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 3: get back on track is stronger than the healing process, 204 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 3: and it overpowers it and you end up just frustrating 205 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:10,240 Speaker 3: yourself because you're trying to work, you're trying to be productive, 206 00:10:10,559 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 3: and your brain is sort of telling you, uh uh, 207 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,480 Speaker 3: I don't have that in me right now. 208 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:15,480 Speaker 2: It's not working. 209 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,440 Speaker 3: And that's where I was for a while, and I 210 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 3: was like, you know, maybe I just need to, you know, 211 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,360 Speaker 3: do what I have to do to maintain my jobs 212 00:10:22,400 --> 00:10:24,439 Speaker 3: and everything, but also just sort of take it easy 213 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 3: on myself in terms. 214 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,439 Speaker 2: Of what I see as my output. 215 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,880 Speaker 3: We're all sort of experiencing some sort of collective loss 216 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:33,120 Speaker 3: right now, and when I think of it that way, 217 00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:35,319 Speaker 3: it's easier for me to be like, it's sort of 218 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,000 Speaker 3: like the whole world is a little bit sick right now. 219 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 3: And you don't go on jogs when you're sick. You 220 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:42,600 Speaker 3: don't run marathons when you're sick. You go take a rest. 221 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,520 Speaker 3: And so if it's a time of rest, let it be. 222 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:58,400 Speaker 1: That coming up on lett you know us, say you 223 00:10:58,480 --> 00:11:01,320 Speaker 1: called in with your questions in this trying time, and 224 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:05,400 Speaker 1: Alla Puppy writer John Paul Bramer is here to answer them. 225 00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 1: Stay with us, not us. Hey, we're back now. You 226 00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:01,480 Speaker 1: are listeners called in with some of your questions for 227 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: La Pappy, and we're going to place some of those 228 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:07,600 Speaker 1: voicemails now. Thank you so much to everyone who called in, 229 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,760 Speaker 1: and for a few of you, we've got some answers. 230 00:12:11,120 --> 00:12:13,120 Speaker 1: John Paul Bramer is going to take it from here. 231 00:12:16,559 --> 00:12:19,200 Speaker 4: Alapati. My name is Alejandra, and I'm calling from Los 232 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:21,960 Speaker 4: Angeles and I was really hoping you can help me. 233 00:12:22,679 --> 00:12:24,960 Speaker 4: I feel like these past few weeks, I've busted way 234 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,079 Speaker 4: too many WhatsApp conspiracy theories that I've heard from my mom. 235 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 4: She's hearing them from her friends from church, from her 236 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 4: friends back home in Nicaragua, from family here in La 237 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:38,080 Speaker 4: in California in the US, and it's just she keeps 238 00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 4: giving and getting this information that I think is a 239 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 4: little well intentioned but absolutely wild. So if you have 240 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:47,200 Speaker 4: any advice, I greatly appreciate it. I'm really tempted to 241 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:49,200 Speaker 4: just take her phone at this point, because if I 242 00:12:49,240 --> 00:12:52,080 Speaker 4: can't stop at least everyone else in our family, I 243 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:55,760 Speaker 4: alwayst can stop her, especially now when knowing the right 244 00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 4: information can you know, really be life saving. I just 245 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:02,000 Speaker 4: I can't get anymore, so if you have any advice, 246 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:03,720 Speaker 4: I would greatly appreciate it. 247 00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:06,920 Speaker 2: A Alijandra. 248 00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 3: First of all, I think if I knew how to 249 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:15,880 Speaker 3: counter misinformation and conspiracy theories between abuelas and church groups, I. 250 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 2: Would be getting paid a lot more. 251 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:19,600 Speaker 3: Right now, I think it would be really funny if 252 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 3: you actually confiscated your mom's phone. That would be hilarious, 253 00:13:22,960 --> 00:13:25,560 Speaker 3: but it's just not a practical solution in the long term. 254 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,360 Speaker 3: I think that the best that we can do is 255 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:34,599 Speaker 3: present counter information, verified information, and let them pick it 256 00:13:34,679 --> 00:13:37,640 Speaker 3: up or put it down, because we can't really force 257 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 3: people into thinking a certain way, even if it's people 258 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 3: we love, and even if we're correct, that's just not 259 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,440 Speaker 3: how things work. I think it's really smart if you 260 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 3: could find some voices that you know your family is 261 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:52,280 Speaker 3: already accustomed to, or that already trusts, or even if 262 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 3: people they don't know who are in the community, people 263 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:56,679 Speaker 3: you know who look and sound like them. Those are 264 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 3: great places to look and in terms of delivery, make 265 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 3: it feel more more like a conversation than it is 266 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,000 Speaker 3: you correcting them. 267 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 2: When people are afraid, they tend to cling to things that. 268 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,920 Speaker 3: Can give them easy answers, And that's kind of where 269 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 3: conspiracy theories come from. So know where it's coming from. 270 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,839 Speaker 3: It's not an excuse, but it is an explanation. And 271 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 3: move forward in truth and light. 272 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 5: Good luck, wa Beppy. My name is Jordan. My advice 273 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 5: that I need helpless is, I'm a college student that 274 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 5: now came home for quarantine, and my family gave my 275 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:37,640 Speaker 5: bedroom to my younger sister, and now I'm here and 276 00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,680 Speaker 5: I don't have a space at home. How do you 277 00:14:42,800 --> 00:14:46,960 Speaker 5: deal with trying to kind of make space in a 278 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,360 Speaker 5: really crowded household during this time. 279 00:14:51,840 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 3: Py Jordan, So I'll just tell you a little bit 280 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 3: about my situation right now. 281 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,720 Speaker 2: I am in Brooklyn. 282 00:14:56,920 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 3: I am in my apartment, the one I've been living 283 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,800 Speaker 3: in for about half a year now. I was very 284 00:15:00,880 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 3: much in love with it when I first got here, 285 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 3: and right now I am more sick of it than 286 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,200 Speaker 3: I could have ever imagined my entire life. 287 00:15:07,400 --> 00:15:09,160 Speaker 2: For a lot of us, right now, we're. 288 00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:13,080 Speaker 3: Living in pretty suboptimal conditions when it comes to what 289 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 3: we're waking up to and how we're living. All I 290 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,200 Speaker 3: can really ask you to do for yourself right now 291 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,320 Speaker 3: is try to create mental space for yourself. 292 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,400 Speaker 2: Try to remind. 293 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:24,920 Speaker 3: Yourself on a daily basis that this won't be forever. 294 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:29,000 Speaker 3: This isn't changing who you are at your core. You're 295 00:15:29,040 --> 00:15:30,760 Speaker 3: going to come out of this. It's going to end 296 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:34,160 Speaker 3: up being a memory, an experience. I think it's also 297 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 3: important to remember that you know your family. They're people, 298 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,520 Speaker 3: They're not these immovable forces of nature. Maybe there is 299 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:43,680 Speaker 3: something that can make this whole process a little bit 300 00:15:43,760 --> 00:15:45,840 Speaker 3: less laborious and a little bit more tolerable for you, 301 00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,120 Speaker 3: that communication with your family can sort of open up. 302 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:55,400 Speaker 6: For La Papy. My name is Roger, and I need 303 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:57,920 Speaker 6: to figure out how to tell my long term friend 304 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:00,480 Speaker 6: with benefits that it's a bad idea to hook up 305 00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,000 Speaker 6: right now. I would love to see him, but my 306 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 6: roommate works in healthcare, and I'm worried that I could 307 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 6: expose this guy and his boyfriend to Corona. Our relationship 308 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 6: isn't usually this complicated. Please help. I haven't texted him 309 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 6: in days. 310 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:18,560 Speaker 3: Hey, Roger, So I guess I would open with a 311 00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 3: question for you, which is, why would you be afraid 312 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 3: to tell this person that you have concerns over contracting 313 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:29,440 Speaker 3: COVID or you have concerns about spreading it to his partner. 314 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:29,840 Speaker 2: Or your partner. 315 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,880 Speaker 3: You know, when we're entering into any sort of intimate relationship, 316 00:16:34,080 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 3: communication is really key. And communication is perhaps never more 317 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,160 Speaker 3: important than when we're communicating what we don't want, or 318 00:16:40,160 --> 00:16:42,960 Speaker 3: what our anxieties are, what our fears are. We're in 319 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,960 Speaker 3: a moment where a lot of us are canceling a 320 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:48,160 Speaker 3: lot of things, be they relationships or plans or you know, 321 00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 3: things we wish we were doing in the springtime. 322 00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,520 Speaker 2: It's not fun, it sucks. 323 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:54,680 Speaker 3: Things are slipping through the cracks, and I think that 324 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,760 Speaker 3: what you're more worried about is having to find out. 325 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,360 Speaker 2: If this will be one of the things that slips 326 00:16:59,360 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 2: through the cracks. 327 00:17:00,160 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 3: But if that's how it goes, then at least you 328 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:04,280 Speaker 3: can know that it was for the greater good. You know, 329 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 3: we're all supposed to be isolating right now, We're not 330 00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 3: supposed to be hooking up with anyone, So you can 331 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 3: think of it as patriotic if that. 332 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:11,160 Speaker 2: Helps you a little bit. 333 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 3: But we're all having to make sacrifices at the moment, 334 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,280 Speaker 3: and this might be one of them, and in the 335 00:17:18,320 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 3: grand scheme of things, I think it could be a 336 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:20,800 Speaker 3: lot worse. 337 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:30,200 Speaker 7: Well, Pappy, this is Christina. I'm having trouble keeping focused. 338 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,240 Speaker 7: And I know in the scheme of things that doesn't 339 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 7: seem like a big deal with people dying and trying 340 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 7: to eat, but mentally, I'm sure there's hundreds of thousands 341 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:48,040 Speaker 7: of people that are struggling with focusing on their creativity. 342 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 7: I'm a writer personally, but anybody's creative endeavors. One take 343 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:55,639 Speaker 7: on it is that you know, you shouldn't have to 344 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,080 Speaker 7: be able to focus in a pandemic and force yourself 345 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,800 Speaker 7: to be creative. That's ridiculous. But also it's just really cathartic. 346 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:06,880 Speaker 7: People's art is what helps them survive mentally. So maybe 347 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:10,640 Speaker 7: if there's any advice on how to stay in that 348 00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:13,280 Speaker 7: creative realm would be much appreciated. 349 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 3: Hey, Christina, what I've been noticing over these past few 350 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:23,440 Speaker 3: weeks is that over time we do to some degree adjust, 351 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 3: It's just that it looks and feels different. Pouring myself 352 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:30,119 Speaker 3: my own coffee, setting myself down at a desk and 353 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:33,080 Speaker 3: pretending like I was at a coffee shop just wasn't working. 354 00:18:33,680 --> 00:18:37,159 Speaker 3: I find finally that my writing process is starting to 355 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:39,080 Speaker 3: come back to me, and it only took what a 356 00:18:39,160 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 3: month or so to my mind, that's a lot of 357 00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:45,840 Speaker 3: time to spend away from something I love, but it's 358 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,720 Speaker 3: not a dead end. I would suggest not giving up 359 00:18:49,880 --> 00:18:53,000 Speaker 3: on these things that give you joy. Make a new 360 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:56,239 Speaker 3: little process for yourself, and you know, just make for 361 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 3: the sake of making for now. Don't think about if 362 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:01,399 Speaker 3: it's as good as it was before. Don't think about 363 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:07,800 Speaker 3: if it's something that you're in love with. Everything special 364 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,600 Speaker 3: about you is still there. It may not feel like 365 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:13,159 Speaker 3: you're in close touch with it. It may feel like 366 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:16,280 Speaker 3: you've lost it, but that's not the case. 367 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:23,520 Speaker 2: Let yourself feel what you're feeling. Let yourself heal more, Pappy. 368 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,919 Speaker 1: Thank you to John Paul Bramer for your wise words. 369 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 1: John Paul Bramer is the author of the advice column 370 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:46,160 Speaker 1: olap Pappy and a memoir of the same name, which 371 00:19:46,200 --> 00:19:48,639 Speaker 1: will be out in twenty twenty one. His work can 372 00:19:48,680 --> 00:20:10,080 Speaker 1: currently be found at Olepapy dot substack dot com. This 373 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:13,879 Speaker 1: episode was produced by Alejandra Salasad and edited by Sophia 374 00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:18,720 Speaker 1: Palisa car The Latino USA team includes Niel Macias, Luis Trees, 375 00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:23,280 Speaker 1: Antonia Serejidro mc Alissa Escarce, with help from Johanne Luna 376 00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:27,440 Speaker 1: and Raoul Perez. Our engineers are Stephanie Lebau and Julia Caruso. 377 00:20:27,640 --> 00:20:30,560 Speaker 1: Additional engineering this week by Lia Sean. Our director of 378 00:20:30,600 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 1: programming and Operations is Natalia Fiedelhutz. Our digital editor is 379 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 1: Amandel Cantra. Our intern is Juja Rocha. Our theme music 380 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:40,840 Speaker 1: was composed by Zenia Rouinos. If you like the music 381 00:20:40,880 --> 00:20:43,800 Speaker 1: you heard on this episode, stop by Latinousa dot org 382 00:20:43,920 --> 00:20:46,920 Speaker 1: and check out our weekly Spotify playlist. I'm your host 383 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,919 Speaker 1: and executive producer Mario Josa. Join us again on our 384 00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 1: next episode, and in the meantime, I'll see you on 385 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:56,720 Speaker 1: all of our social media. Stay Inside, Stay Safe c CAO. 386 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:04,080 Speaker 8: Funding for Latino USA is coverage of a culture of 387 00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,720 Speaker 8: health is made possible in part by a grant from 388 00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 8: the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. Latino USA is made possible 389 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:17,320 Speaker 8: in part by the Heising Simons Foundation. Unlocking knowledge, opportunity 390 00:21:17,560 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 8: and possibilities More at hsfoundation dot org and the wind 391 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:24,480 Speaker 8: Coat Foundation. 392 00:21:29,720 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. I feel uplifted now. I think 393 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:34,040 Speaker 3: I'm gonna be good this week. It's gonna be a 394 00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:36,120 Speaker 3: better week just because of this interview. 395 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:37,240 Speaker 2: I really thank you