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Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, it's Bill Courtney with an army of normal folks.

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Speaker 1: And we continue now with part two of our conversation

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Speaker 1: with Lydia and Scott Rosenkrantz right after these brief messages

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Speaker 1: from our general sponsors. So curious. That's three that are

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Speaker 1: the exact same age and one that's only one year older.

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Speaker 1: So I mean, these dudes, are they got to be

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Speaker 1: rolling tight as these? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: The four are three, three and three. We were outnumbered

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Speaker 2: in every way.

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Speaker 1: So when you went to Walmart, So Lisa, our kids

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Speaker 1: are four and four years are biological, right, but Lisa

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Speaker 1: had a one year old or two year old or

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Speaker 1: three year old and was pregnant pushing them through won't wow? Right,

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Speaker 1: And people would obviously have well intentioned, sweetess, But like,

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Speaker 1: you know, all these years and what's that in your belly?

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Speaker 1: You know you know how this works? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: I guess, yeah, we get that one too.

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Speaker 3: And we didn't even you know, a country to give

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Speaker 3: them money. They give you kids.

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Speaker 1: I would imagine six of you, the six of you

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Speaker 1: were quite a side.

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Speaker 2: We were, indeed, especially as beautiful as as these boys were.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it looked nothing like us.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean just just gorgeous.

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Speaker 1: All right, So now you've got it. We've got this big,

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Speaker 1: six person family that didn't even exist eighteen months ago.

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Speaker 1: We're going to go to Georgia Tech finally, and we're

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Speaker 1: going to figure this out.

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Speaker 2: Well that I let you tell that story.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So with with her working, I would We had

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Speaker 3: the boys in a Montessori school, and so I would

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Speaker 3: take them, drop them off, and next door was the

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Speaker 3: was the Baptist church who did childcare in the afternoon,

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Speaker 3: So they would go from their morning morning Montessori class

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Speaker 3: to Baptists and I would come back and pick them up.

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Speaker 3: And about halfway through that semester, I guess spring semester.

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Speaker 3: You know, you saw how these kids change you take

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Speaker 3: them out of the orphanage and bring them home, their

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Speaker 3: whole world changes. They go from these dour, closed in

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Speaker 3: kids defensive at all times. I mean, their walls are

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Speaker 3: up to they're open, They're in awe of everything around them.

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Speaker 3: They want nothing but what everything you give them. You know, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: they're being kids and they're just loving and adorable. And

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Speaker 3: then I was picking them up in the afternoon after

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Speaker 3: putting them in daycare, and they were reverting back to

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Speaker 3: how they were and first met them.

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Speaker 1: Really, Yeah, why it was.

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Speaker 3: A lot like now they're in a room a little

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Speaker 3: bit yew and being back in the orphanage that we

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Speaker 3: brought him here just to put him in another place

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Speaker 3: like we took him from.

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Speaker 1: Do you think they were afraid that you weren't ever

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Speaker 1: coming back every time you dropped them off or something.

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Speaker 3: I remember that quite that bad.

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Speaker 2: But they knew how to behave in a group of

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Speaker 2: kids that you know, that's all they had ever known.

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Speaker 1: That's interesting that even as infants, that was so baked

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Speaker 1: into him.

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Speaker 2: Well, I mean, Demir was almost five years old when

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Speaker 2: we adopted him. I mean, it's a long time.

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Speaker 1: He with a lot of condition, that's the flies type

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Speaker 1: of stuff.

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Speaker 3: The little group of boys he was with that was

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Speaker 3: like a pack of holes.

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Speaker 1: Well, and they do say psychology teaches us that sixty

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Speaker 1: five percent of a kid's personality is formed by four

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Speaker 1: and so if he was five, so much of four.

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Speaker 2: But he was almost five and.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So what you're saying is you recognized your children

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Speaker 1: changing being in this atmosphere.

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Speaker 3: Right, And so I was I was looking at what

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Speaker 3: I was pursuing and going, wow, is this piece of

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Speaker 3: paper worth what I'm doing to my sons, because they're

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Speaker 3: my sons. And one afternoon I was just like, this

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Speaker 3: isn't worth it. I was sitting there looking at it

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Speaker 3: after I'd kind of been watching them go through this myself.

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Speaker 1: Go be some examples of what you were seeing that

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Speaker 1: was worrying you so much.

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Speaker 3: Just a little bit. They were a little more distant again,

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Speaker 3: just kind of that standoffish that we yeah, that we'd

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Speaker 3: kind of gotten over, because it takes a while to

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Speaker 3: break the ice. I mean it does, and and.

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Speaker 1: It takes years.

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Speaker 3: For every year that a child is institutionalized, it takes

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Speaker 3: two years to overcome it.

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Speaker 1: For every year it is institutionalized, it takes two years

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Speaker 1: to overcome it. So this four year old needed at

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Speaker 1: least nine.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it took to.

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Speaker 3: Me a long time to completely accept us. And the

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Speaker 3: thing is is we're in the early stage of that

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Speaker 3: process and we just took a step back. Not a

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Speaker 3: good sign. I mean it was, and I was noticing

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Speaker 3: it in just their behaviors less, but then with each

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Speaker 3: other too. They were becoming less attached to each other.

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Speaker 3: These kids were defensive, they were they were careful with

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Speaker 3: even around the kids.

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Speaker 1: Which is a mechanism they had to develop the children

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Speaker 1: to survive, and then you saw it coming back out

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Speaker 1: of them when you wanted to break it away.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I was like really, And I made the

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Speaker 3: choice one afternoon, sitting there, going this isn't worth it.

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Speaker 3: I'm sitting here killing myself trying to keep up with

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Speaker 3: classes at Georgia Tech is not an easy place to go.

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Speaker 3: It's tough and I and I can't be in the

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Speaker 3: environment because I have other responsibilities. So I'm so you

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Speaker 3: really reached a bait yeah kind of thing, and I went,

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Speaker 3: you know what, I went back online that afternoon, sent

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Speaker 3: letters to my professors thanking them for what they did

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Speaker 3: and admissions, and dropped out because I was looking at,

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Speaker 3: you know, four little boys who didn't need a piece.

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Speaker 1: Of paper they needed.

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Speaker 3: So wow, I became a full time dad at that point.

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Speaker 3: I mean stay at home, Yeah, I was. I was

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Speaker 3: given the choice.

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Speaker 1: Only four years before, three to four years before. You

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Speaker 1: just told me your plan. Our plan, yeah, was for

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Speaker 1: you to work while he became an electrical engineer, so

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Speaker 1: you could say it.

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Speaker 2: I could stay at home.

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Speaker 1: So that thing got flop flipped.

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Speaker 3: If you had asked me, did I ever raise other

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Speaker 3: people's children had been a huge no. Right, yeah that change.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we both, I mean we both gave up a

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Speaker 2: little bit of a dream. I mean I still think

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Speaker 2: I would have been a good stay at home mom

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Speaker 2: if I'd had the opportunity, I would have. I would

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Speaker 2: have enjoyed being the mom who was at school all

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Speaker 2: the time. I would have enjoyed having dinner ready every night.

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Speaker 2: But it just wasn't God's plan for us.

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Speaker 1: Do you resent that at all?

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Speaker 2: Oh gosh, no, no, what we've gained is so much

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Speaker 2: more than what we've given up. Oh wow, No, no,

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Speaker 2: not at all.

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Speaker 1: Listen, there's a lot of people listening to this show.

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Speaker 1: Some are Christians, some are not. Some are faithful, some

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Speaker 1: would call themselves spiritual. I mean, you know, the gamut

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Speaker 1: of faith runs a very broad spectrum. How do you

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Speaker 1: explain for those listening surrendering your own dreams to what

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Speaker 1: you believe is God's plan for you.

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Speaker 3: When you think of it from the aspect of their

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Speaker 3: your dreams, right, so these are they're yours. There's a

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Speaker 3: selfish aspect to that, because it's how you think things

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Speaker 3: are going to work out. And if you were to

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Speaker 3: draw things up Wow, this would be so great, But

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Speaker 3: you're not considering anything external to.

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Speaker 1: Your dream, right.

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Speaker 3: And then you when you take on the role of

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Speaker 3: being a parent, as every parent knows, it becomes really

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Speaker 3: important about the dreams of the child. What can I

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Speaker 3: do for the child without then pushing your dreams onto

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Speaker 3: the child. You've got to watch that develop and your

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Speaker 3: influence by everything in your life. You can't say you're not.

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Speaker 3: Everybody's got biases. My dad worked hard his whole life,

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Speaker 3: and there were times when I was a kid, I

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Speaker 3: was resentful that work was a little more important to him.

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Speaker 3: It seemed like than maybe being at one of my

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Speaker 3: baseball games. And one of the greatest times in my

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Speaker 3: life was my dad took the time and for two

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Speaker 3: years he coached me and my brother in baseball. I

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Speaker 3: got to do that with my boys for ten years

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Speaker 3: when they were in soccer Jase Oliver, Georgia, Florida, Mississippi, Alabama,

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Speaker 3: going to soccer games everywhere. I didn't know jack about soccer,

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Speaker 3: but you know, one of the fathers that I.

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Speaker 1: Got started when you're watching football, Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Exactly exactly, you know, and that gave me that opportunity.

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Speaker 3: I was like, well, you know what I'm going to

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Speaker 3: be there. I don't know anything about this. I'll learn.

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Speaker 3: I'll be the day that carries the water.

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Speaker 1: I don't care.

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Speaker 3: Because my dream wasn't worth anything I was looking at.

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Speaker 3: Going this piece of paper gives me a lot a

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Speaker 3: better job that then creates more time away, or I

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Speaker 3: have an opportunity to just be involved and go, you

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Speaker 3: know what, don't remember that more than they'll remember Gee,

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Speaker 3: did I get my engineering degree? Did I get my

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Speaker 3: professional engineering degree? Did I get an award? Did I

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Speaker 3: create something really great? Really, they never would have been

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Speaker 3: there for any of that, right that would have been

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Speaker 3: my workaday world that I come home and explain to

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Speaker 3: a childhood go, can we go play now, you know yeah,

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Speaker 3: instead of yeah, exactly and stead or can we just

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Speaker 3: go play now and watch these boys grow?

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Speaker 1: What about your perspective on them, because you're the other

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Speaker 1: side of that.

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Speaker 2: I don't want it to sound like it's easy, Bill,

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Speaker 2: because it's not like I think we're We're not helping

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Speaker 2: anybody if we make it sound like, oh, well God

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Speaker 2: said to do this, and so we did it. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's not a one time we surrendered everything and then

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Speaker 2: we never thought about it again. We still every single

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Speaker 2: day when we have to change diapers on a seventeen

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Speaker 2: year old or answer the same questions five hundred times

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Speaker 2: from a child that has an intellectual disability, it's an

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Speaker 2: every day dying to self. It's every single day. It's

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Speaker 2: not a one time thing and you're done. That's what

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Speaker 2: the Christian life is. We get, but we get. What

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Speaker 2: we get in return is so much greater than that that.

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Speaker 1: I wish everybody listening right now could see the brightness

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Speaker 1: in the two of your eyes and smiles. Certainly we

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Speaker 1: all sacrifice, but you guys don't seem sacrificial at all.

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Speaker 1: These seems so full.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I know it really well okay, well you just

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Speaker 4: you just blew the wood off of it because clearly Demre,

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Speaker 4: Marat Arston, and Sarah are not seventeen year olds.

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Speaker 1: Yeah with disabilities.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, yeah, no story, no disabilities. Right, And

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Speaker 2: it was so funny because we were like we like

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Speaker 2: showed doctors the videos. We wanted to make sure there

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Speaker 2: was no special needs, you know with.

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Speaker 3: These floor.

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Speaker 1: We'll be right back. So how many months transpired between

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Speaker 1: Demyr and Marot's showing up did you decide, well, this

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Speaker 1: isn't enough. There's more we can do.

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Speaker 3: We came home with them two thousand and two. We

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Speaker 3: actually were looking into another adoption the next year, and

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Speaker 3: these were older siblings. She was the older the two

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Speaker 3: right she was she was about to age out, oh gosh,

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Speaker 3: and her younger brother was a couple of years younger

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Speaker 3: than she was. And we were working through a different

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Speaker 3: organization trying to facilitate this adoption before she got out

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Speaker 3: of the foster system whatever however they deem it and

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Speaker 3: into being, you know, let loose as an adult. And

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Speaker 3: despite our best efforts, it never happened. We got a

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Speaker 3: dose of reality that you know when you're you think,

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Speaker 3: oh I'm I'm doing the good thing right. So you

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Speaker 3: and me, God, I you know you got your part,

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Speaker 3: I got my part right. We're in this together. And

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Speaker 3: you run up against that wall where gods like this

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Speaker 3: was never meant to happen. I'll let you run down

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Speaker 3: that road as far as you can until the road ends,

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Speaker 3: turn around and come back, because you weren't supposed to

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Speaker 3: go that way. And that was a hard lesson. Because

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Speaker 3: we vested time, we thought we knew what we were doing.

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Speaker 3: We've been through this twice, right, we got we're veterans, right, yeah.

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Speaker 2: No, and we've been down that road several times, I

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Speaker 2: would say, but we did end up. Two years after

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Speaker 2: we brought Demir Marad home, we brought three girls home

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Speaker 2: from Russia.

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Speaker 3: Three sibling group.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah. Their names are Lydia, Ira, and Toma. Is

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Speaker 1: that correct?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So are they all? Were they all biologically related? Yes?

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Speaker 2: So. Lydia is the oldest. She's eleven months older than

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Speaker 2: the twins. Era and Toma are the twins. So very

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Speaker 2: and they had been in the orphanage together.

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Speaker 3: Since he was two and were they at the time

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Speaker 3: The twins were six almost seven, and so they've.

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Speaker 2: They've been much longer.

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Speaker 1: Ye, So what did you learn about them?

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Speaker 2: Very much?

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Speaker 3: Russia's beautiful.

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Speaker 2: They were beautiful girls and they looked happy.

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Speaker 3: And big bows in their hair.

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Speaker 2: And so you know, it was like we didn't have

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Speaker 2: any girls. It was like, oh, this is going to

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Speaker 2: be wonderful.

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Speaker 3: Right, she'll have little girls she can dress up yay.

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Speaker 2: And Lydia we had the same name. I mean it

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Speaker 2: was like Destiny right.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So do you what do you fly to? I

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Speaker 1: guess Moscow?

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Speaker 2: No, they were in Siberia. They were twelve time zones away.

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Speaker 3: Yeahs which is three hours east of Chemo, which is

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Speaker 3: the nearest large It was in the middle of nowhere.

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Speaker 1: So you put on your mittens and flow to sever Well.

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Speaker 2: He did visit. We actually adopted them in the summer,

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Speaker 2: which I'm very thankful for.

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Speaker 3: Although it was although it was still really cold in Moscow.

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Speaker 3: And this was an interesting trip because where we landed

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Speaker 3: was a military base that had converted into an airport

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Speaker 3: because you know, we crushed the Soviet Union ninety three

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Speaker 3: ninety four, so which was really interesting because I'd been

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Speaker 3: you know, in the Navy. Its actually work, yeah, exactly,

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Speaker 3: you know, and so that walking through there in that

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Speaker 3: because there's that was interesting. Military personnel walking around and stuff,

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Speaker 3: and you're like, wow, we used to be enemies. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I'm walking around inside your country.

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Speaker 1: You know.

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Speaker 3: That was kind of that was a different but it

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Speaker 3: was It was funny because we tried to learn some Russian.

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Speaker 2: We did. We actually learned a decent amount communication.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, communicating get by in the street if we had

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Speaker 3: to buy something or change money. We knew what we

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Speaker 3: were doing with that. Not a whole lot of conversational

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Speaker 3: you know, because you didn't know a lot about slang,

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Speaker 3: so you weren't conversive that way. But it was interesting

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Speaker 3: because I went for the visit and you got to

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Speaker 3: bring gifts, and the gifts has to be better for

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Speaker 3: you know, who's ever in charge. And then the next

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Speaker 3: time they get a little bit less of a gift,

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Speaker 3: a little bit less. You understand this hierarchy of gifts.

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Speaker 3: And so we had all those prepared and they, you know,

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Speaker 3: bring the girls in and we're I'm sitting in a

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Speaker 3: room with these three little girls and we're drinking tea.

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Speaker 3: They took the sugar bowl and they're drinking spoon or

300
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Speaker 3: eating spoonfuls of sugar out of the sugar bowls. They

301
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Speaker 3: didn't get sugar. You're kidding not to these.

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Speaker 2: These little girls. I mean to give you some perspective.

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Speaker 2: The twins were almost seven, Lydia was almost eight, and

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Speaker 2: they were about thirty four pounds. What so we were,

305
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Speaker 2: you know, when we took clothes for them, when we

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Speaker 2: when we completed the adoption, they were in four teas

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Speaker 2: and they were oh well, I mean they they were malnourished,

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Speaker 2: but they were fathy.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, to put it in morse propec marot. But we

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Speaker 3: adopted it at three and a half was forty two.

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Speaker 3: He was a beast. Yeah, and so he's bigger than

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Speaker 3: his sisters that we brought home, who were twice his age.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they were little, They were very very little, but

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Speaker 2: they they grew so quickly once we had them.

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Speaker 1: So you'd load them up, yeah, yep, bring them home. Right.

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Speaker 2: We got home on a Friday. In school started on

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Speaker 2: a Monday, and so off they go to school speaking

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Speaker 2: no English.

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Speaker 1: And how did that work?

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Speaker 2: We sat in the hallway. We took turns sitting in

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Speaker 2: the hallway on a bench, and when the teachers needed us,

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Speaker 2: they would call us and we would go.

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Speaker 3: So we went back to elementary school.

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Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? You really did that for how long? Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Months? It took them up because they've been immersing their

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Speaker 3: language for longer and they could still talk to each other.

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Speaker 3: It took longer for them to get rid of their

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Speaker 3: Russian and accept English. The boys learned English in like

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Speaker 3: three months.

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Speaker 1: Well they were Yeah, the development, that's right, But these

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Speaker 1: kids were already developed and unbelievable.

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Speaker 2: But we realized it took us a while because we

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Speaker 2: weren't sure what was language and what might be disabilities,

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Speaker 2: but we eventually realized the girls had some delays that

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Speaker 2: we had not been aware of.

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Speaker 1: Intellectual.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, that was our journey.

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Speaker 2: That and so that took us. That took us on

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Speaker 2: a journey that we never wanted to be on and

340
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Speaker 2: never expected to be on, where we were immersed in

341
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Speaker 2: five O four's and i EPs and psychiatrists and medications

342
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:44,080
Speaker 2: and seizures and neurologists. And it took us on a

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Speaker 2: journey that we never ever expected to be on.

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Speaker 1: And you signed up for we did, but.

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Speaker 2: We had no I mean, we had no idea. But yes,

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Speaker 2: I mean well, I mean anyone who either has a

347
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Speaker 2: child or at to a child, there's a risk, right,

348
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:08,159
Speaker 2: But when you adopt, especially older children, you're definitely taking

349
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Speaker 2: a risk.

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Speaker 1: Phenomenal story and for most people the story should end there.

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Speaker 1: I mean three groups of adoption. Yeah, three groups of adoption, two, two,

352
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Speaker 1: and three.

353
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Speaker 2: Within three years, we went from zero to seven, right.

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Speaker 3: And thirty five months oldest and youngest in this case, right.

355
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Speaker 1: And these three graded yeh yes, Oh, I mean yeah,

356
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Speaker 1: I think anybody in the right mind would have said,

357
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Speaker 1: you know, yeah, the Lord's blessed us with this massive family.

358
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Speaker 2: Yeah.

359
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Speaker 1: Here we are and gosh that this is, this has

360
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Speaker 1: been more than we bargained for. But we love our girls,

361
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Speaker 1: we love our family, and it's part of it. We've

362
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Speaker 1: sat in the hallway and done school and we got

363
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Speaker 1: these kids. Let's uh, you know that you know that

364
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:08,840
Speaker 1: that requires a non passionate vehicle to get our family around.

365
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Speaker 1: Why don't we just call it quits?

366
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Speaker 3: Yeah, well we never you know, people ask us, are

367
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:18,600
Speaker 3: you done yet? My own mother thought I was crazy,

368
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Speaker 3: and she well she had an older sister had seventeen

369
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:26,320
Speaker 3: children natural births, so she she kind of knew crazy

370
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:30,600
Speaker 3: when she saw it. So and we'd be like, all

371
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Speaker 3: you guys done, Like, well, God never gave us a number. Well,

372
00:20:37,880 --> 00:20:39,080
Speaker 3: actually God still has.

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Speaker 1: Interesting interestingly, seven appears pretty frequently in the Bible.

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Speaker 2: Well, it's completeness, right, it was a number.

375
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Speaker 1: Of completions you had years ago, would.

376
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Speaker 3: Have said, and yet eight is the number of new beginning.

377
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Speaker 1: It's also who knows what's going on mathematics.

378
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Speaker 2: Well, we did take we did take some time off

379
00:21:10,240 --> 00:21:12,960
Speaker 2: to make sure we were addressing the needs of the girls,

380
00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 2: especially that took time and enjoy the kids that we had.

381
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Speaker 2: We had, I mean, we had so much fun, and

382
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 2: then we thought, well, maybe it's time to consider adoption again.

383
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:28,719
Speaker 2: And doors kept getting shut one after the other, and

384
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,520
Speaker 2: so one I don't remember exactly, but one day I

385
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,400
Speaker 2: said to Scott, you know, I'm about to turn forty.

386
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:38,200
Speaker 2: If we're ever gonna try for a biological child, we

387
00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:43,639
Speaker 2: probably should do that. It was ticking, It was ticking.

388
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 2: It was getting louder and louder, right, And so eight

389
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Speaker 2: months later I was pregnant with Owen.

390
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:56,160
Speaker 1: Okay, so now we got bio baby number one. Because

391
00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,960
Speaker 1: the biological clock is ticking ticking. What man has their

392
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:04,639
Speaker 1: wife look at him and say, hey, you know, right,

393
00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: even if it doesn't work, the try the effort. So

394
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:12,360
Speaker 1: let's still yeah, there it is. And so Owen shows up,

395
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 1: the baby boy of seveny eighth now of these seven siblings.

396
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:23,800
Speaker 2: And they were like twelve to fourteen, so he was

397
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:24,960
Speaker 2: just a little bit spoiled.

398
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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh I bet he was passed around like that.

399
00:22:27,800 --> 00:22:32,360
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, for time to hold him. It's like we're like, gone,

400
00:22:33,119 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 3: can we hold him? We're fighting with our own children

401
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,120
Speaker 3: to hold our youngest.

402
00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,920
Speaker 1: So still not good enough.

403
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 2: Oh gosh, Okay, So I'll start this one. And then

404
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:50,480
Speaker 2: I think Scott has to pick it up. So so

405
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:55,239
Speaker 2: I think Owen was about a year old, and I

406
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 2: was getting ready for work one day, just very innocently.

407
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:01,960
Speaker 2: I can still see myself getting ready for work. And

408
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,760
Speaker 2: I was on Facebook when Facebook was still worth looking at.

409
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 2: And there was a blog that somebody else had reposted

410
00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 2: from another mother who was headed to Bulgaria, and they

411
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:18,879
Speaker 2: were also a family of several adoptions, and she was

412
00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 2: adopting a fifteen year old girl who weighed fifteen pounds.

413
00:23:23,800 --> 00:23:29,199
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, and Bill, that broke me, It just

414
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,399
Speaker 2: completely broke me.

415
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,040
Speaker 1: How does a fifteen year old of fifteen pounds even

416
00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: be a lot?

417
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 2: Exactly exactly? And she didn't look like I mean, she

418
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,560
Speaker 2: looked like she was very close to not being alive.

419
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,639
Speaker 2: But from that point on, I was like, well, we

420
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 2: gotta know more, We have to know more. What can

421
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:53,880
Speaker 2: we do? And so I would say within a few

422
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,400
Speaker 2: months of that time, we had decided that we were

423
00:23:57,400 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 2: going to go to that same orphanage, which was the

424
00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:04,520
Speaker 2: worst orphanage in Bulgaria. Yeah, and we were going to

425
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:12,480
Speaker 2: adopt two little girls with the most severe special needs

426
00:24:13,119 --> 00:24:16,960
Speaker 2: that I had ever. I couldn't even fathom that children

427
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,560
Speaker 2: with this many needs could survive.

428
00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 1: Why sign up for that? My people who listen, who've

429
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,840
Speaker 1: listened to this forever. I have a brother in law, Ben,

430
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:33,159
Speaker 1: who has special needs, and I've watched Gary and Peggy,

431
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:37,000
Speaker 1: my in laws, raise him. Now when I say Ben

432
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,920
Speaker 1: has special needs, he's pretty high functioning, but he will

433
00:24:40,920 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 1: always need care the rest of his life. And he

434
00:24:44,840 --> 00:24:48,199
Speaker 1: has created some of the greatest joys in our families world.

435
00:24:48,640 --> 00:24:52,359
Speaker 1: And I could tell stories upon stories. I'll also tell

436
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:54,640
Speaker 1: you I can tell stories upon stories have been very, very,

437
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:59,040
Speaker 1: very hard, and Gary and Peggy have a very special

438
00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:05,320
Speaker 1: place in Heaven for their commitment and consistency with caring

439
00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,760
Speaker 1: for Ben and a seventy five year old parents. They

440
00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:13,040
Speaker 1: still care for Ben, and it's work, and when that's

441
00:25:13,080 --> 00:25:17,000
Speaker 1: the hand you're dealt in life, you make the best

442
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:20,920
Speaker 1: of it. And I am. I fully believe, after watching

443
00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,159
Speaker 1: garyan Peggy's life for the last thirty five years of

444
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 1: my life with Ben, that the Lord strengthens you and

445
00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 1: gives you what you need and will meet you right

446
00:25:31,640 --> 00:25:34,439
Speaker 1: where you need to be met when you're blessed with

447
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 1: a child with special needs. And I believe that's where

448
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:45,920
Speaker 1: Gary and Peggy are however, to consciously sign up for it,

449
00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 1: not to be dealt the cards, but to deal with

450
00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,919
Speaker 1: or pick that card out of a deck of fifty

451
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:57,960
Speaker 1: two beautiful cards. I just, honestly, and I mean this,

452
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:06,399
Speaker 1: Please take this, and with exactly how intended. I cannot imagine.

453
00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: I absolutely understand answering the call when that's what you're given.

454
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:25,159
Speaker 1: I cannot imagine signing, specifically cognitively signing up for that work.

455
00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:32,920
Speaker 1: Why how with especially when you already have seven other

456
00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:38,879
Speaker 1: children plus eight with the bioowen, Why how I can't

457
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:44,320
Speaker 1: even fathom that we'll be right back.

458
00:26:56,040 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 3: It wasn't easy with everything we'd gone through at the

459
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:02,360
Speaker 3: Three Girls and found it felt like we had caught up,

460
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 3: that we weren't dreading water anymore.

461
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 1: We were kind of all right, we're we're.

462
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,640
Speaker 3: Kind of making it. We we got everything in the process.

463
00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 3: We got the the right schools, we got the write doctors,

464
00:27:12,840 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 3: we got to we're kinda we got a routine back again.

465
00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,200
Speaker 3: And you know, for me, because I'm the day to

466
00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 3: day guy, right so I felt a lot of pressure

467
00:27:21,359 --> 00:27:23,399
Speaker 3: with that. I was felt like maybe I'm catching my

468
00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 3: breath and and maybe maybe I can start to do

469
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:31,000
Speaker 3: Scott things a little bit. And so when Lydia brought

470
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:36,159
Speaker 3: this up, I was like, really, God, really was this?

471
00:27:36,240 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 3: You know? And you think yourself, is this not enough?

472
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 3: And then I'm going, God, AT's a coward. Sure part

473
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,080
Speaker 3: of the adventure. What's next? So we were looking at

474
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 3: two little girls, an obviously, but there's another little girl.

475
00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:56,439
Speaker 3: And literally, as Fragile's analyzed, this other little girl was

476
00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:58,960
Speaker 3: on the just as Fragile, on the opposite end of

477
00:27:58,960 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 3: the spectrum.

478
00:27:59,760 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 1: What does that mean?

479
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:03,479
Speaker 3: Well, Anna had hydrocephalus. She'd had it since birth. So

480
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 3: think about the uh, the worst possible thing her Her

481
00:28:07,600 --> 00:28:12,000
Speaker 3: skull went like out the back it was fifty nine centimeters,

482
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,800
Speaker 3: you know, that's she was. She weighed twenty two pounds.

483
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 3: Half her weight was her head. She'd never picked her

484
00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 3: head up. She laid on one side, she laid on

485
00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 3: you the imagine living your entire life. And she was

486
00:28:21,760 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 3: four and a half when we got her, living with

487
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 3: a migraine headache. Oh that's the level of pain that

488
00:28:27,560 --> 00:28:30,440
Speaker 3: she existed in. The other little girl was the opposite

489
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,640
Speaker 3: of the specify. I said. She had microcephalus, which means

490
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:36,320
Speaker 3: she had a shrunken had very very little brain tissue

491
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,080
Speaker 3: that had formed, you know, enough for the basic functions

492
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:44,920
Speaker 3: of keeping her alive. And I remember the first day

493
00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,240
Speaker 3: in the baby house with the two of them, and

494
00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 3: I walked in, and you know, my interpreter got me

495
00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,000
Speaker 3: set got me in this little room. This is a

496
00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:56,080
Speaker 3: lot noisier than the other baby houses i'd been in.

497
00:28:56,760 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 3: Chaos was raining. They had their own cemetery that I

498
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 3: could see out through the window. For the kids that

499
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 3: didn't make it on a regular basis, they had lots

500
00:29:06,880 --> 00:29:09,520
Speaker 3: of funerals. And so they bring me in these two

501
00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 3: little girls and they put them in my arms, and

502
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 3: the caregivers walk off, and what walked off And this was.

503
00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:18,200
Speaker 2: Just a visit.

504
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:19,360
Speaker 3: This was not just a visit.

505
00:29:19,600 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 2: He was coming back home. This was not the final advent.

506
00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,720
Speaker 3: This was this is the stage, first visit. So you

507
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 3: go first stage, you come back home, and you come

508
00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,400
Speaker 3: back and you go through the court stuff. So it's

509
00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,120
Speaker 3: not kind of the way we did stuff in Cossacks.

510
00:29:31,080 --> 00:29:32,400
Speaker 3: And so I'm holding one little girl in this arm,

511
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:34,600
Speaker 3: one little girl in this arm, and I'm just looking

512
00:29:34,600 --> 00:29:36,720
Speaker 3: around the room, looking at the rest of the cast

513
00:29:36,760 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 3: that was in there, and caregivers coming and go and

514
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:40,920
Speaker 3: take out out of the kids, and everybody's just ignoring me.

515
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:43,240
Speaker 3: And I'm sitting there for forty five minutes, and my

516
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 3: interpreter's kind of there and hanging out, and my arm's

517
00:29:47,400 --> 00:29:50,400
Speaker 3: going numb because Anna's head was so heavy sitting in

518
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 3: the crook of my arm. It's like having a bowling

519
00:29:52,040 --> 00:29:55,720
Speaker 3: ball sitting on your elbow. And she went to sleep.

520
00:29:57,080 --> 00:29:59,040
Speaker 3: One of the caregivers walked through the room, walks in,

521
00:29:59,120 --> 00:30:01,160
Speaker 3: she goes and she's just staring at her, and she

522
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,160
Speaker 3: calls another lady in and they're talking. I, you know,

523
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:06,520
Speaker 3: I can't understand what they're saying. I don't understand Bulgarian.

524
00:30:06,600 --> 00:30:10,880
Speaker 3: It's surrealic, but it's different than Russian apparently. And my

525
00:30:11,120 --> 00:30:14,160
Speaker 3: interpreter driver told me later on the drive back home,

526
00:30:14,200 --> 00:30:15,240
Speaker 3: he said, she's never.

527
00:30:15,160 --> 00:30:19,520
Speaker 1: Slept like that. Oh, now you're hooked. Yeah.

528
00:30:20,040 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 3: They couldn't believe. Said they'd never seen her calm like that.

529
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:25,000
Speaker 3: She just hold her. She just fell asleep me holding her.

530
00:30:25,280 --> 00:30:27,040
Speaker 3: The other little girl was so fragile, and we went

531
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,720
Speaker 3: through this process. They told me if we traveled, she'd

532
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:35,720
Speaker 3: die in traveling, that we would have to have sank.

533
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,880
Speaker 2: Pressure from the plane and would kill her.

534
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:38,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so they were trying to the whole time

535
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 3: talk me out of this, right, and I'm like, oh, no,

536
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,280
Speaker 3: I'm doing God's work. I'm bringing this child home. This

537
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:46,440
Speaker 3: is she's gonna be my daughter to no again. That

538
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:48,080
Speaker 3: was one of those battles of the Holy Spirit that

539
00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 3: you lose. So that was it was a humbling trip.

540
00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:54,920
Speaker 3: As fragile as these children were, and you think you're

541
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:57,800
Speaker 3: doing something really good. The second one wasn't meant to be.

542
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:01,200
Speaker 3: And you know what. We brought Anna home and Anna

543
00:31:01,240 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 3: was as fragile as could be. I mean when we

544
00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:09,719
Speaker 3: brought her home, because Lydia went back with the mirror

545
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,960
Speaker 3: or the sun. They traveled to bring her home. I

546
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,239
Speaker 3: stayed at home with the other kids. They showed up

547
00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:16,560
Speaker 3: near Port Atlanta. We went from the airport to the

548
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:20,560
Speaker 3: emergency room. You're kidding, No, in Cholla.

549
00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:23,720
Speaker 2: So Children's Healthcare of Atlanta. She was there for two

550
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 2: months before we could bring her home April through June.

551
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:28,920
Speaker 1: But you knew that going in, Yeah.

552
00:31:29,760 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 2: We didn't know it was going to be quite like that,

553
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:35,080
Speaker 2: that she was going to be in the hospital for

554
00:31:35,120 --> 00:31:38,480
Speaker 2: two months. That was that was not unknown.

555
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: Wow, And Anna is now seventeen seventeen.

556
00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:46,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I said, she was four and a half

557
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 3: years old. She weighed twenty two pounds. She's now seventeen

558
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:54,160
Speaker 3: year old, she's about eighty two pounds. Healthy. She's had

559
00:31:54,360 --> 00:31:56,560
Speaker 3: you know, she's had a lot of her challenges in this.

560
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:59,600
Speaker 3: Like I said, they because of her skull on the

561
00:31:59,600 --> 00:32:02,600
Speaker 3: first thing as they did after she got her got

562
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 3: her stable and got her healthy and strong enough is

563
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:09,760
Speaker 3: they did a creanal reduction surgery at Children's Hospital of Atlanta,

564
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 3: and she's one of thirty one that've been done. They

565
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,520
Speaker 3: usually don't do them that old because your your skull

566
00:32:15,600 --> 00:32:17,720
Speaker 3: is now hard bone by the time you're five years old.

567
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,160
Speaker 3: She was five and a half at the time, because

568
00:32:20,200 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 3: it's it's harder. It's so much harder to do. But

569
00:32:22,480 --> 00:32:25,080
Speaker 3: they literally take your skull off from the eyebrows to

570
00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 3: the ears. They open your scalpe up, do this, take

571
00:32:28,360 --> 00:32:30,680
Speaker 3: it off, cut it. The pieces are going to go

572
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:32,880
Speaker 3: back together so it's normal sized. They grind up the

573
00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 3: other pieces like mortar, put it in between the pieces

574
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,080
Speaker 3: of bone, and wrap your head backup.

575
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 1: Wow.

576
00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 3: Five and a half hour surgery.

577
00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:41,000
Speaker 2: It's like a jigsaws.

578
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, And she went from just having this huge

579
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,160
Speaker 3: bulbless thing out in the back of her head because

580
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:49,200
Speaker 3: of the hydrocephalus that never been treated to having a

581
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 3: normal sized head. She doesn't have a shunt. They went

582
00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:56,400
Speaker 3: in and did what's called aventriciloscopy, which when the neurosurgeon

583
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:58,520
Speaker 3: explained this to me, you think you're in a ten

584
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,600
Speaker 3: minute loube change that guy's going on. So I'm gonna do.

585
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:04,520
Speaker 3: He's a neurosurgeon, and they just go in.

586
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 5: They put a little hole in the skull, take a

587
00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:09,280
Speaker 5: little thing, little boroscope, goes down underneath, comes up underneath

588
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:12,040
Speaker 5: your brain to where the ventricles are, and they just

589
00:33:12,040 --> 00:33:13,800
Speaker 5: poke a little hole in the membrane so the fluid

590
00:33:13,800 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 5: can drain out and follow the basal artery down and

591
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:17,680
Speaker 5: get resimilated in your body.

592
00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 3: And I'm just going, what.

593
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 2: So we made so we actually both feel like we

594
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 2: have medical degrees at this point through we have experienced it.

595
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:30,920
Speaker 2: I mean, honestly, with our kids, we've had it feels

596
00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:33,560
Speaker 2: like everything except a trike. We've never had a kid

597
00:33:33,560 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 2: with a trake. But but Anna's tube fed, she's you know,

598
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 2: she's she will always be in a wheelchair. She's very

599
00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:44,320
Speaker 2: much a she's an infant at seventeen, right, she's full care,

600
00:33:45,480 --> 00:33:46,960
Speaker 2: but she's also full of joy.

601
00:33:47,000 --> 00:33:49,640
Speaker 1: And you asked you also saved her life.

602
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:54,640
Speaker 2: And you but you asked why villain? And I think,

603
00:33:56,360 --> 00:33:57,920
Speaker 2: I mean, I guess some people may ask why does

604
00:33:57,960 --> 00:34:02,360
Speaker 2: God allow things like this to happen? Anyway? But when

605
00:34:02,360 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 2: I look at Anna, she reminds me that every single

606
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:09,239
Speaker 2: one of us is made in the image of God,

607
00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 2: and every single life has dignity and worth. And we

608
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,560
Speaker 2: put so much of our value on the wrong things right,

609
00:34:20,680 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 2: like our work, our ability to do this or that,

610
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,319
Speaker 2: and Anna can't do any of that. But I have

611
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:33,160
Speaker 2: a feeling that all day long she's communing with God. Right,

612
00:34:33,400 --> 00:34:36,680
Speaker 2: And maybe she's sad for the rest of us.

613
00:34:37,360 --> 00:34:40,160
Speaker 3: She's the happiest child we have. She wakes up every morning,

614
00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:44,759
Speaker 3: smile on her face, full of joy, just can't wait

615
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:50,440
Speaker 3: to go. She's she's tough as nails.

616
00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:53,880
Speaker 2: And I would say, out of all of our adoptions,

617
00:34:53,880 --> 00:35:00,279
Speaker 2: we probably grew the most with her and overcome the

618
00:35:00,320 --> 00:35:02,480
Speaker 2: fear that came along with that.

619
00:35:04,600 --> 00:35:06,759
Speaker 1: Okay, so now it's gotta be.

620
00:35:08,520 --> 00:35:12,920
Speaker 2: Well. Now we can do anything, no, we we you know,

621
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 2: we can do anything.

622
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:16,880
Speaker 3: But I could do all things.

623
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,680
Speaker 2: We could do all things Christ who strengthens us.

624
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:24,560
Speaker 1: Uh So, how long after Anna before somehow you decided

625
00:35:24,640 --> 00:35:25,520
Speaker 1: let's do this again.

626
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:26,840
Speaker 2: It was about two years.

627
00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so and and two not not in the

628
00:35:33,920 --> 00:35:36,200
Speaker 3: same city. These and these little girls were actually in

629
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:40,120
Speaker 3: separate baby are Yeah back to Bla, so and and

630
00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,200
Speaker 3: so the other side of the country. So Plevin's on

631
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:45,239
Speaker 3: the western side, you know, north. Sofia is the capital city,

632
00:35:45,320 --> 00:35:47,320
Speaker 3: so like three hours north and it's nice little drive.

633
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 3: Well this is over on the Black seaside. And both

634
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,640
Speaker 3: of these are resort cities. So Juey was in the

635
00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 3: south and Stephka was in the north, split by the

636
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:02,080
Speaker 3: Balka Mountains that run through the center. And I go

637
00:36:02,200 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 3: to visit so and you fly into Sofia. You got

638
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:09,879
Speaker 3: eyone with the capital city and had my driver, your vor.

639
00:36:11,239 --> 00:36:14,960
Speaker 3: You talk about an amazing man, right. So he speaks

640
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:19,040
Speaker 3: six languages. He was at the time getting his final

641
00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:21,880
Speaker 3: certification because you have to be you have to be

642
00:36:21,960 --> 00:36:24,880
Speaker 3: spot on in every language in order to do the

643
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 3: transcribing of paperwork into multiple languages. So he was on

644
00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:31,879
Speaker 3: the phone at times with me and he'd be telling

645
00:36:31,880 --> 00:36:34,319
Speaker 3: me like the conversation she's having. So he's speaking to

646
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:41,920
Speaker 3: me in English, talking to someone in French or or

647
00:36:41,960 --> 00:36:44,680
Speaker 3: sometimes and with another lawyer online in Bulgaria. So they're

648
00:36:44,680 --> 00:36:46,399
Speaker 3: talking back and forth, and he's speaking French, and he's

649
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 3: letting me know what's going on because it's a long

650
00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 3: car ride, so he doesn't want.

651
00:36:48,680 --> 00:36:49,320
Speaker 1: Me to be bored.

652
00:36:49,560 --> 00:36:52,719
Speaker 3: So he's speaking three languages, listening in three languages the

653
00:36:52,760 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 3: same time, looking at something to make sure he's reading

654
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,440
Speaker 3: that the transcription he did for the compan he's talking to,

655
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:00,200
Speaker 3: which is done in French, is correct with the from

656
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 3: the Bulgarian that he was seeing, so he's getting it

657
00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 3: correct for the government. So he's reading in French and Bulgarian,

658
00:37:04,640 --> 00:37:08,799
Speaker 3: talking to languages right, And he's worried that he hasn't

659
00:37:08,840 --> 00:37:10,840
Speaker 3: done enough of this life because he's talking to me

660
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:13,080
Speaker 3: later about the people he grew up with and the

661
00:37:13,120 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 3: business that they own. This really rich friend of his

662
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,439
Speaker 3: and I had a conversation with him over dinner. I said,

663
00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,000
Speaker 3: how long have you been doing this? And he said, well,

664
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 3: it's it's it's been several years now and I've been

665
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,560
Speaker 3: through about two hundred of these. I said, so, your

666
00:37:25,640 --> 00:37:29,399
Speaker 3: rich friend has he changed two hundred lives the way

667
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 3: you have. And he just sat there and looked at

668
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,160
Speaker 3: me from it and he's like, well, no, I guess not.

669
00:37:35,640 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 3: I said, So you got time for the other things,

670
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,879
Speaker 3: I said, because you obviously have the qualifications, you could

671
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:43,799
Speaker 3: do business anywhere. You speak six languages. You know, right

672
00:37:43,840 --> 00:37:46,480
Speaker 3: now you're saving lives all the world you have, you're

673
00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:50,759
Speaker 3: making families. And that was a great conversation with a

674
00:37:50,800 --> 00:37:52,359
Speaker 3: really really nice guy.

675
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:53,560
Speaker 1: Pretty amazing.

676
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:57,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, who's who's driving a car and being an interpreter, right,

677
00:37:57,080 --> 00:38:00,239
Speaker 3: and he doesn't think he's doing enough m hm, you know.

678
00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:06,879
Speaker 1: And so so this is Julia and Stea. Are they

679
00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:08,399
Speaker 1: a dual deal?

680
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:13,719
Speaker 2: No, No, they weren't. We started with Stepka. Stepha has

681
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:18,040
Speaker 2: Bartleby Days syndrome, which is a genetic condition that causes

682
00:38:18,719 --> 00:38:23,360
Speaker 2: any number of issues. But she had these little pigtails

683
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:25,319
Speaker 2: on the top of her head and she was four

684
00:38:25,360 --> 00:38:27,000
Speaker 2: and she was just so cute.

685
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:31,239
Speaker 1: It's just cute. Julia.

686
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 2: Julia has spina bifida, you know, And a lot of

687
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:38,120
Speaker 2: times there's a like a there's a brief description of

688
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,520
Speaker 2: the child right that you're given, and it's like, how

689
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:42,839
Speaker 2: do you describe somebody in a paragraph, like, how would

690
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 2: somebody describe me in a paragraph? Right? But basically they said,

691
00:38:50,120 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 2: she's so good with the other kids, right, And you

692
00:38:54,239 --> 00:38:56,040
Speaker 2: could just look at her and you could see her

693
00:38:56,080 --> 00:39:00,680
Speaker 2: spirit that she was and she is, I mean, she's still.

694
00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:03,160
Speaker 2: I mean, she's in a family of you know, thirteen kids.

695
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:09,160
Speaker 2: She's a patient. She's a patient young lady. So we

696
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:12,160
Speaker 2: ended up deciding to bring the both home. And she

697
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:16,400
Speaker 2: was our oldest adoption. She was nine at the time

698
00:39:16,480 --> 00:39:18,759
Speaker 2: and Stepco was four, so she was the oldest child

699
00:39:18,840 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 2: we adopted.

700
00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:26,319
Speaker 1: And I think Alex in the prep told me that

701
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 1: about this same time, you now find out.

702
00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:36,440
Speaker 2: Well, so I get home, so I ourson, and I

703
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 2: traveled to pick the girls up this time and get

704
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:41,600
Speaker 2: home and I'm you know, I'm like, oh, I'm so

705
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:42,799
Speaker 2: jet lagged.

706
00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:54,040
Speaker 1: Home. Yeah, with the girls, everybody, everybody's solid, eleven one bios.

707
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:59,840
Speaker 2: And a week Aftertle tired. Yeah, it's so natural. But

708
00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:02,879
Speaker 2: it didn't go away. So a week after I got home,

709
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,080
Speaker 2: I found out I was pregnant.

710
00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,280
Speaker 1: When I read that, I laughed out loud.

711
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:12,879
Speaker 3: We told you, it is.

712
00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,560
Speaker 2: So funny because I was worried about my biological clock

713
00:40:15,560 --> 00:40:17,640
Speaker 2: at forty and here I am about to turn forty five.

714
00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 1: I have it. I have an offhand comment and there's

715
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 1: there's no there's no need to respond whatsoever. I just

716
00:40:24,680 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: want to know, with all these kids and everything going on,

717
00:40:27,360 --> 00:40:31,960
Speaker 1: you even had time to even become pregnant. We can

718
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:34,680
Speaker 1: go right past that. But it was good.

719
00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 3: It was It was like funny because you know, she's

720
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 3: dealing this tired she could and she comes back to

721
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:42,040
Speaker 3: me and she was like, she's like worried about telling me,

722
00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:45,520
Speaker 3: and she goes, I don't know how you're going to

723
00:40:45,560 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 3: take this, but I'm pregnant, and I'm going, well, what

724
00:40:48,239 --> 00:40:51,200
Speaker 3: am I going to say? Like no, I mean.

725
00:40:53,160 --> 00:40:58,040
Speaker 1: Like okay or or or you sure don't really say

726
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:02,120
Speaker 1: that that just makes you do. So you got three choices,

727
00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,200
Speaker 1: being Jack, to be a dope or just say great great.

728
00:41:05,440 --> 00:41:08,520
Speaker 1: They were like the more the here we go, hold

729
00:41:08,560 --> 00:41:23,719
Speaker 1: it up. We will be right back. What does the

730
00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:26,360
Speaker 1: maternity ward look like when you're having a child and

731
00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:28,520
Speaker 1: your families that are to celebrate, there's no room for

732
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 1: anybody else.

733
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 2: Well, they you know, it was a little crowded when

734
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:36,080
Speaker 2: all the kids came to to well, they weren't there

735
00:41:36,280 --> 00:41:38,279
Speaker 2: when she was born. I mean it was like a

736
00:41:38,520 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 2: very sudden thing that was she was very fast.

737
00:41:42,239 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 3: Owen was being her first. He owned, he was happy

738
00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:48,759
Speaker 3: where he was right. She was weak, overdue. He didn't

739
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 3: want to leave, so they induced her. And it was

740
00:41:51,160 --> 00:41:54,040
Speaker 3: like we were the first people showed up that middle

741
00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:56,560
Speaker 3: day Thursday whatever, and we were the last ones to

742
00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:57,320
Speaker 3: leave Friday.

743
00:41:57,400 --> 00:41:58,239
Speaker 2: Yeah, he just was.

744
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:04,200
Speaker 3: Six hours sea. Yeah, we were. We were doing our

745
00:42:04,719 --> 00:42:06,600
Speaker 3: parent thing right because we had two boys who we

746
00:42:06,600 --> 00:42:08,879
Speaker 3: are a basketball game at our school, had to get

747
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 3: home do homework. You know, we'd already fed other ones,

748
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 3: worked all day. Yeah, so I was I went to

749
00:42:13,440 --> 00:42:16,200
Speaker 3: get those two bringing them home. She's gonna help one homework.

750
00:42:16,239 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 3: I had the other one. We're heating at dinner for him.

751
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:22,799
Speaker 3: She cos my water broke, all right, had the bag.

752
00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:24,560
Speaker 3: Let's get in the car.

753
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:28,759
Speaker 2: Like lots of time. My mom comes in and she's like,

754
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:30,839
Speaker 2: I think y'all should.

755
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 3: Go, And we're like, well, you got things, you got

756
00:42:34,960 --> 00:42:37,080
Speaker 3: things handled here, we'll worry about homework later.

757
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:37,239
Speaker 2: You know.

758
00:42:37,239 --> 00:42:39,880
Speaker 3: I'm looking at the boys, go okay, you got some dat.

759
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:40,239
Speaker 1: You know.

760
00:42:40,280 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 3: We're just kind of like all right. We get in

761
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 3: the car and we're like we really haven't decided on

762
00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:48,680
Speaker 3: the name yet. We're down to four, you know, and

763
00:42:48,719 --> 00:42:52,000
Speaker 3: so we decided Eva Joyce. Joyce's her mother's middle name.

764
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:53,960
Speaker 3: So we decided to make that little tie there. And

765
00:42:53,960 --> 00:42:56,760
Speaker 3: we're driving the house hospitals, not what ten minutes away,

766
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:58,839
Speaker 3: you know, we're going out. We pull up, so we're

767
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:00,520
Speaker 3: in little of Grange Storge, right, you pull the hospital,

768
00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,840
Speaker 3: like the lights are out. It's like it's kind of

769
00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:06,640
Speaker 3: dark in the lobby. So I go inside. So oh well,

770
00:43:06,719 --> 00:43:09,160
Speaker 3: the door's are open and looking around, I ran and said, well,

771
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:11,879
Speaker 3: you know, I needed, you know, wheelchair for my life,

772
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:14,880
Speaker 3: and got one and got to the elevators and you know,

773
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 3: get upstairs and there were nurses on the there's nurse

774
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,960
Speaker 3: on woard. They just they just finished up with someone else.

775
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 3: And we're like, okay, well we'll get you ready there.

776
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,160
Speaker 1: Do you want anything?

777
00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 3: And at first she was she didn't own naturally and

778
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,640
Speaker 3: she said, oh no. Well got into the room and

779
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 3: all of a sudden the pain thing changed, change change.

780
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:37,200
Speaker 2: I was like, give me some drugs now.

781
00:43:37,719 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 3: And the nurse in charge goes too late. She's crowning.

782
00:43:42,480 --> 00:43:46,520
Speaker 3: Really yeah, that click fifty six minutes from the time

783
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:49,080
Speaker 3: her water broke, she gave birth to our daughter Eva.

784
00:43:49,120 --> 00:43:51,800
Speaker 2: The nurses delivered her, doctor walks.

785
00:43:51,600 --> 00:43:53,680
Speaker 3: Room and go, well, my work here is done.

786
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:55,080
Speaker 1: Wow.

787
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, so everybody's thrown. We've got this little gorge

788
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:02,160
Speaker 2: just redheaded girl.

789
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:04,520
Speaker 1: I mean, you went from ten to thirteen pretty quick.

790
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, in one.

791
00:44:06,200 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 2: Out we are that, we are set and so well

792
00:44:09,000 --> 00:44:09,720
Speaker 2: now we're at twelve.

793
00:44:09,719 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 1: We're twelve now no, no, that's what I'm saying. You

794
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:16,160
Speaker 1: went from nine to twelve. Yeah, nine to twelve, twelve, ye, yes.

795
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,120
Speaker 3: That's okay. We lose count two and there are Yeah,

796
00:44:18,440 --> 00:44:18,759
Speaker 3: so you.

797
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:20,439
Speaker 1: Went from nine to twelve pretty nice.

798
00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: Even dozen we are.

799
00:44:22,960 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: We really are.

800
00:44:25,000 --> 00:44:28,360
Speaker 2: Oh we're done, done, done, done, done, done done total

801
00:44:29,040 --> 00:44:31,160
Speaker 2: EVAs our little our last little gift.

802
00:44:31,760 --> 00:44:35,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, except except tell me what happened.

803
00:44:35,960 --> 00:44:38,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, so the most innocent thing in the world. Bill.

804
00:44:38,800 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 2: I was leaving Walmart one day in January twenty nineteen.

805
00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:44,520
Speaker 6: Always comes back to Walmart.

806
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 3: You can't get anything at Walmart, you can including a kid.

807
00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 2: And this young lady stopped me, and she had a

808
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,400
Speaker 2: four month old baby in her cart, and she said,

809
00:44:56,600 --> 00:44:58,319
Speaker 2: you know, I don't have a ride back to the

810
00:44:58,360 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 2: hotel that I'm living in will you get me arrived

811
00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:05,680
Speaker 2: and I said sure, So I got her life story

812
00:45:05,800 --> 00:45:10,400
Speaker 2: in the meantime and became her transportation. The baby had

813
00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:14,879
Speaker 2: never seen a doctor and some things, so became very

814
00:45:14,920 --> 00:45:17,400
Speaker 2: involved in her life. And it turned out that Department

815
00:45:17,400 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 2: of Children's Services was already involved. I didn't know that

816
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:24,600
Speaker 2: at the time, and two months later was at church

817
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:27,640
Speaker 2: one night and they called and they said, we're taking

818
00:45:27,680 --> 00:45:31,080
Speaker 2: the baby tonight. You either come get him or he's

819
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,240
Speaker 2: going into foster care.

820
00:45:32,840 --> 00:45:35,560
Speaker 1: And be as foster effectively as Falter.

821
00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 2: Fictive because we weren't actually related, but we had ties

822
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:44,880
Speaker 2: to the family because we were not. I mean, Department

823
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:48,120
Speaker 2: of Children's Services typically frowns on large families. They're not

824
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:49,080
Speaker 2: real fond.

825
00:45:48,760 --> 00:45:50,879
Speaker 1: Of that, y'all.

826
00:45:51,040 --> 00:45:52,800
Speaker 2: They didn't.

827
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:56,960
Speaker 1: Under Oh yeah, she calls me.

828
00:45:57,120 --> 00:46:00,520
Speaker 3: She goes, they're gonna if we don't take hey, they're

829
00:46:00,520 --> 00:46:02,560
Speaker 3: going to take him, and say can we do this.

830
00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:05,120
Speaker 3: I'm like, head it up the attic. I'll have a

831
00:46:05,120 --> 00:46:08,800
Speaker 3: crib assemble by the time you get home, good man.

832
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:13,239
Speaker 2: So anyway, that COVID hits. Lots of things happened, but

833
00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:16,319
Speaker 2: we ended up adopting him in April of twenty twenty one,

834
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:19,120
Speaker 2: right before we moved to Memphis.

835
00:46:19,360 --> 00:46:22,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, holy smokes.

836
00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,040
Speaker 3: And he's seven now.

837
00:46:24,360 --> 00:46:26,319
Speaker 1: And he's seven now, and his name is.

838
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:30,640
Speaker 3: Quick short from Quaevius, which is.

839
00:46:30,640 --> 00:46:37,440
Speaker 1: Interesting because, coming full circle back to Peter and then

840
00:46:37,680 --> 00:46:44,000
Speaker 1: Nick and Tracy, when you talk about biracial adoptions, you've

841
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 1: got Kazakh born children who are kind of Asian Ish

842
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:55,080
Speaker 1: looking but also Russian looking. So I don't want to

843
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 1: sound like a jark, but I don't know how to

844
00:46:57,560 --> 00:47:01,320
Speaker 1: describe their look perfectly. People haven't seen.

845
00:47:01,280 --> 00:47:03,960
Speaker 2: Most people who see our boys think they're Asian.

846
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:08,480
Speaker 1: Okay, there you go, but but they're really they're not Asian.

847
00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:12,879
Speaker 1: It's it's it's they have to have a beautifully interesting look. Yes,

848
00:47:13,640 --> 00:47:16,719
Speaker 1: but let's just say kind of asion.

849
00:47:16,600 --> 00:47:17,960
Speaker 2: Kind of Asian, okay, all right.

850
00:47:18,239 --> 00:47:21,720
Speaker 1: And then you've got Russian kids who were born in Russia.

851
00:47:22,400 --> 00:47:24,719
Speaker 1: And then you've got your own children, and y'all are

852
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 1: Anglican as it gets. And one of your babies is

853
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:34,719
Speaker 1: redheaded apparently, which I just learned now. And then you

854
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:39,839
Speaker 1: got you got the Bulgarians who are probably dark and olive.

855
00:47:40,600 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 2: Stepha and Julia Anna is actually very fair, okay.

856
00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:53,239
Speaker 1: Well, and then Gypsies, I mean, and then shows up

857
00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:56,200
Speaker 1: and he's in African American. Yeah, so dinner looks like

858
00:47:56,200 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 1: the United Stations when you guys are all out and about.

859
00:48:04,239 --> 00:48:07,440
Speaker 1: People haven't wonder what in God's green Earth showed up.

860
00:48:08,280 --> 00:48:11,080
Speaker 3: It's it's funny because you know, you know in.

861
00:48:11,040 --> 00:48:14,800
Speaker 1: By the way in your shoes, I would be rimming

862
00:48:14,920 --> 00:48:18,520
Speaker 1: with broad So I say that, yeah, well we are

863
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,000
Speaker 1: a tone in cheek. But people have to be going

864
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:22,240
Speaker 1: what on earth?

865
00:48:22,280 --> 00:48:25,000
Speaker 3: And they're always not sure, so you get strange questions

866
00:48:25,719 --> 00:48:28,879
Speaker 3: to my son Maurat taking him just had to get

867
00:48:28,880 --> 00:48:30,400
Speaker 3: wisdom teth. So he's in high school, right, so I

868
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:33,319
Speaker 3: got him with me God and Owen's with us because

869
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:34,919
Speaker 3: I had to take os. I was taken care of him.

870
00:48:35,520 --> 00:48:38,200
Speaker 3: So now gentleman and there, well he's got his grandson

871
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:39,680
Speaker 3: with him that he had to bring in there, so

872
00:48:39,760 --> 00:48:42,160
Speaker 3: he's he was asking me. So he started talking to

873
00:48:42,160 --> 00:48:44,279
Speaker 3: my son Murat about his son, and I'm like, oh, no, no,

874
00:48:44,320 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 3: they're both my sons. And he looks at me because

875
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:48,359
Speaker 3: my son was a senior high school so he's old

876
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 3: enough to be a father, shouldn't be And he looks

877
00:48:51,120 --> 00:48:54,279
Speaker 3: at me and he goes, you're his father too. I say, yeah, sure,

878
00:48:54,360 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 3: am I still got it. So it's just he's like,

879
00:49:00,080 --> 00:49:01,800
Speaker 3: no fense. He goes, you'll have to be a grandfather.

880
00:49:01,840 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 3: I said, well, yeah, I know. I realized we're in

881
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,399
Speaker 3: the South, but that hasn't happened yet, but it does.

882
00:49:06,560 --> 00:49:12,360
Speaker 2: Now you have a granddaughter. Arstin the first adoption is married,

883
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:15,880
Speaker 2: and we have a six year old granddaughter who's in

884
00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 2: the same class as Quay, so they're in the same.

885
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,239
Speaker 3: And so one woman was really confused when she asked

886
00:49:22,280 --> 00:49:24,279
Speaker 3: who they were because she thought, well, are you guys old.

887
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:27,240
Speaker 1: That means the six year old is Quay's niece.

888
00:49:28,680 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 3: He's her uncle. Yeah, And she looked because I asked,

889
00:49:32,400 --> 00:49:33,960
Speaker 3: was that your brother? She goes, no, it's my uncle.

890
00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:36,719
Speaker 3: It can't be your uncle. He's not an adult. And

891
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:39,439
Speaker 3: she's like, and Quai goes, we live in the same house,

892
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:40,440
Speaker 3: but I'm her uncle.

893
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 1: All right. So one question I wanted to ask before

894
00:49:46,680 --> 00:49:48,799
Speaker 1: we get to the last question I'm going to ask.

895
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:53,880
Speaker 1: I get close these kids and I realized we're talking

896
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 1: about children that stretch from twenty nine to seven years old.

897
00:49:58,160 --> 00:50:02,120
Speaker 1: Just for everybody listing, we have a six year old grandchild,

898
00:50:02,239 --> 00:50:06,920
Speaker 1: but we also have twenty nine, twenty eight, I'll just

899
00:50:06,920 --> 00:50:09,759
Speaker 1: do it this way, Lydia's twenty nine, Iris twenty eight,

900
00:50:09,840 --> 00:50:14,360
Speaker 1: Thomas twenty eight, Demirs twenty seven, Marats twenty six, Arsenon's

901
00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:19,400
Speaker 1: twenty six, Sirx twenty six, Jui's twenty, Anna seventeen, stephka

902
00:50:19,560 --> 00:50:25,560
Speaker 1: is sixteen, Owen is fourteen, Eva is none, and quay

903
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:32,240
Speaker 1: as seven. You Gigglewa's hilarious.

904
00:50:32,520 --> 00:50:34,400
Speaker 3: Well, when he graduates high school, I'll be seventy.

905
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:39,680
Speaker 1: De blestion is when the Christmas card, when the family

906
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:43,920
Speaker 1: Christmas card goes out, do your own children look at

907
00:50:43,920 --> 00:50:47,359
Speaker 1: their own family? And I was gonna say, almost kind

908
00:50:47,360 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: of giggle it look at us, and you just did it,

909
00:50:50,360 --> 00:50:51,320
Speaker 1: so they must.

910
00:50:52,920 --> 00:50:57,120
Speaker 2: It's I guess it's just so natural, like you were saying,

911
00:50:57,120 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 2: like people, if people look at us, Bill, they probably

912
00:51:00,120 --> 00:51:04,680
Speaker 2: we do. I honestly don't notice it anymore. I don't

913
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 2: think about the fact that we're weird.

914
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,200
Speaker 1: I don't think anybody would. I really just think people

915
00:51:11,239 --> 00:51:13,480
Speaker 1: would be like, Wow, how amazing.

916
00:51:14,680 --> 00:51:17,520
Speaker 2: I just don't. I guess it's just it's been life

917
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:20,399
Speaker 2: for so long. I mean, it's twenty four years now.

918
00:51:22,200 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 1: Please tell me you're done.

919
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 2: Well, No, no, we've just learned we don't say.

920
00:51:30,840 --> 00:51:34,960
Speaker 1: That, oh, there's no plans, but there's no plan if

921
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,160
Speaker 1: something came along.

922
00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 2: But not very many of these were what I would

923
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:42,160
Speaker 2: exactly call plans, or a lot of maybe half were

924
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:44,200
Speaker 2: plans and half were not planned.

925
00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:45,640
Speaker 3: Was planned.

926
00:51:47,000 --> 00:51:51,840
Speaker 1: The rest of it was football dreams. And here comes

927
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:56,000
Speaker 1: some Bulgarian kids, and I'm pregnant too, and the whole supert.

928
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:59,839
Speaker 2: So we we've just learned not to sit to say never.

929
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 1: This is an army in normal folks. We highlight normal

930
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:06,840
Speaker 1: people who do extraordinary things in their corner of the

931
00:52:06,880 --> 00:52:11,680
Speaker 1: world to try to make it a better place. You've

932
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,520
Speaker 1: done so by growing a family. You haven't started a

933
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:19,800
Speaker 1: Bible one c. Three. You're just serving kids who needed

934
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:23,200
Speaker 1: serving and built a family doing it. What do you

935
00:52:23,239 --> 00:52:27,000
Speaker 1: say to folks who are out there listening to us today,

936
00:52:27,040 --> 00:52:31,320
Speaker 1: thinking about the world and thinking about something that Alex

937
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:35,080
Speaker 1: often says that there's more houses of worship in the

938
00:52:35,200 --> 00:52:37,720
Speaker 1: United States than there are are kids in the foster

939
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:41,760
Speaker 1: care system by just a small number. So one family

940
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:45,080
Speaker 1: from every house worship the United States adopted a child,

941
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:49,759
Speaker 1: we'd empty the foster care system overnight. What do you

942
00:52:49,840 --> 00:52:53,879
Speaker 1: say with that kind of demographic going on in your

943
00:52:53,960 --> 00:52:58,240
Speaker 1: life when people hear your story, because your story includes

944
00:52:58,280 --> 00:53:02,200
Speaker 1: an enormous amount of sacrifice. You sacrifice your dreams of

945
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:04,920
Speaker 1: being an engineer, you sacrifice your dreams of maybe being

946
00:53:04,960 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 1: a homeroom mom. One day, you're still sacrificing every day

947
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:14,040
Speaker 1: taking care of Anna, And despite all those sacrifices, leave

948
00:53:14,120 --> 00:53:20,680
Speaker 1: us with what this is to you? It's it's our life.

949
00:53:20,719 --> 00:53:23,640
Speaker 3: If you going back to the story I told in

950
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:26,279
Speaker 3: the in the orphanage of the other little kids coming

951
00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:29,520
Speaker 3: up the words mommy and daddy, the kids who don't

952
00:53:29,520 --> 00:53:35,440
Speaker 3: have one, that's the word, that's God, there's you'd be

953
00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 3: giving them. You know, how do you put it?

954
00:53:38,600 --> 00:53:39,000
Speaker 1: You can't.

955
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,480
Speaker 3: I can't change the world for everybody. But I can

956
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:44,759
Speaker 3: change the world for one person. You can become that.

957
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:49,440
Speaker 3: You can become the whole world for one child, and

958
00:53:49,480 --> 00:53:51,040
Speaker 3: that changes everything for that.

959
00:53:51,120 --> 00:53:54,440
Speaker 1: How many planets in our solar system? You've not changed

960
00:53:54,480 --> 00:53:58,319
Speaker 1: the world, You've changed the universe for these people. Yeah,

961
00:53:58,760 --> 00:53:59,920
Speaker 1: lots of worlds.

962
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,360
Speaker 3: So and you don't know and what effect will they have?

963
00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:06,360
Speaker 1: Then I was about to say him, what world have

964
00:54:06,480 --> 00:54:08,080
Speaker 1: they changed for you? Guys? Oh?

965
00:54:08,320 --> 00:54:11,880
Speaker 3: Completely, I'm a completely different person. Now than I was.

966
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 1: When we start to change a thing like my van back,

967
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:19,880
Speaker 1: like our fifteen passenger van backs, they had a fifteen

968
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:22,239
Speaker 1: passenger van that they could pretty much get well, they

969
00:54:22,239 --> 00:54:23,000
Speaker 1: could thirteen.

970
00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:24,520
Speaker 3: Yeah, you could get your.

971
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:26,879
Speaker 1: Old family into. And it got smoked and.

972
00:54:26,880 --> 00:54:29,359
Speaker 2: They moved to Memphis. And so that's enough said, right,

973
00:54:29,440 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 2: everybody understands.

974
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:33,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, nobody here, no side of drive, and so your

975
00:54:33,160 --> 00:54:36,560
Speaker 1: van got smoked and nobody because it's a big So

976
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:40,760
Speaker 1: if anybody's out there looking for somewhere to spend thirty dollars,

977
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:44,320
Speaker 1: they would love to have a fifteen passengers van to

978
00:54:44,360 --> 00:54:47,360
Speaker 1: be able to get their family to and from wherever

979
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:50,160
Speaker 1: the heck of this shall go together, yes.

980
00:54:50,960 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 2: Which is primarily churches.

981
00:54:52,960 --> 00:54:54,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you ever get a break?

982
00:54:58,120 --> 00:55:02,520
Speaker 2: You know, we don't bill. We we didn't mention that

983
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:06,520
Speaker 2: both my parents live with us, and they've got physical

984
00:55:06,600 --> 00:55:07,799
Speaker 2: issues now as well.

985
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:12,080
Speaker 3: Her dad's ninety five, mother's eighty two. They yeah, they're

986
00:55:12,080 --> 00:55:14,360
Speaker 3: not in great health. They're good, but not great.

987
00:55:14,960 --> 00:55:17,479
Speaker 2: So we had our twenty fifth wedding anniversary two years

988
00:55:17,520 --> 00:55:23,000
Speaker 2: ago and Damir and Damir and Sarah came from Atlanta

989
00:55:23,239 --> 00:55:25,480
Speaker 2: and spent the weekend and took care of the of

990
00:55:25,520 --> 00:55:27,920
Speaker 2: everybody for us so we could. We spent the weekend

991
00:55:27,960 --> 00:55:34,120
Speaker 2: at the Beast Pro Shop Pyramids.

992
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 1: Don't know, people who don't know, it's actually really luxury hotel.

993
00:55:40,719 --> 00:55:43,759
Speaker 2: It was wonderful. That was the first time we had

994
00:55:43,800 --> 00:55:46,920
Speaker 2: been away for a weekend together since Owen was born

995
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:51,840
Speaker 2: in twenty eleven. Wow, and since then not again.

996
00:55:53,280 --> 00:55:53,960
Speaker 1: Who came home?

997
00:55:54,960 --> 00:55:56,200
Speaker 2: No, Demir and Sarah?

998
00:55:56,320 --> 00:56:00,960
Speaker 1: All right, Demir Sah, come on back for on a

999
00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:03,719
Speaker 1: third show up on a Wednesday night and give your

1000
00:56:03,960 --> 00:56:08,760
Speaker 1: old parents Thursday through Sunday to get on out of here.

1001
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,600
Speaker 1: And who knows, maybe they'll dp two million kids and

1002
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:14,880
Speaker 1: you'll get a bio show up after the weekend.

1003
00:56:15,520 --> 00:56:17,880
Speaker 2: Why they don't come as they're scared, will go away?

1004
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:19,160
Speaker 2: Come back with another kid.

1005
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:26,319
Speaker 1: Here's you come back with bo kids. Hilarious, y'all. I

1006
00:56:26,360 --> 00:56:28,000
Speaker 1: want to I just want to say this to you.

1007
00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 1: I read this and when I read it, the words

1008
00:56:32,000 --> 00:56:37,640
Speaker 1: that came out of my brain were what loving, empathetic

1009
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:41,720
Speaker 1: people you are. But I'm gonna amend that after spending

1010
00:56:41,760 --> 00:56:44,400
Speaker 1: an hour and a half with you, oh also crazy

1011
00:56:44,520 --> 00:56:49,000
Speaker 1: and that part hadn't changed. Goes what I see. But

1012
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,239
Speaker 1: and when I say bright I don't mean it intellectually.

1013
00:56:53,440 --> 00:57:01,440
Speaker 1: I mean I mean the brightness that comes off of you, guys.

1014
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:06,120
Speaker 1: The aura that you guys have in your smiles and

1015
00:57:06,160 --> 00:57:11,160
Speaker 1: in your eyes and in telling your story and everything

1016
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:16,560
Speaker 1: else is really inspirational individually, which is very important, but

1017
00:57:16,800 --> 00:57:20,840
Speaker 1: both individually and as a couple, I'm drawn to how

1018
00:57:21,960 --> 00:57:26,880
Speaker 1: bright and loving and empathetic you are. And your family

1019
00:57:27,040 --> 00:57:30,720
Speaker 1: is very fortunate to have a father and a mother

1020
00:57:30,920 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 1: like you, guys, and the world is a better place

1021
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:36,800
Speaker 1: because of the work you've done in raising your family.

1022
00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:39,160
Speaker 1: So I just want to say that to you that

1023
00:57:39,240 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 1: I'm inspired by you. I think you're wonderful, wonderful people.

1024
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:46,200
Speaker 1: I think you're nuts, but wonderful people. How lex you

1025
00:57:46,240 --> 00:57:48,360
Speaker 1: got anything for me? Close? I know you got to go,

1026
00:57:48,480 --> 00:57:49,360
Speaker 1: so I'll keep this quick.

1027
00:57:49,400 --> 00:57:54,080
Speaker 6: But during the pre interview, Lyddy and I were talking about,

1028
00:57:54,600 --> 00:57:56,840
Speaker 6: you know, the Bible, for those of you are Christian's

1029
00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,080
Speaker 6: pretty clear that true and unofiled religion is taking care

1030
00:57:59,080 --> 00:58:01,040
Speaker 6: of the what it was an orphan and not everybody

1031
00:58:01,160 --> 00:58:03,160
Speaker 6: is called to adopt, and not everyone would be called

1032
00:58:03,160 --> 00:58:06,600
Speaker 6: to adopt eleven, but we're all called to do something.

1033
00:58:06,680 --> 00:58:08,919
Speaker 6: That much is clear, and so whether it's helping through

1034
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 6: care portal, or you become a CASA you know, volunteer.

1035
00:58:11,800 --> 00:58:14,000
Speaker 6: You can involve the National Angels and we featured a

1036
00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:15,600
Speaker 6: bunch of these models on the podcast.

1037
00:58:15,720 --> 00:58:20,040
Speaker 1: Or being wealthy beyond all means and providing these folks

1038
00:58:20,040 --> 00:58:23,560
Speaker 1: with a fifteen passenger van or a we can open

1039
00:58:23,640 --> 00:58:26,840
Speaker 1: the whole family a week away somewhere would be nice.

1040
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 1: Somewhere in the bibble. It's got to say something about

1041
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 1: hearing for those who care for the widows and orphans.

1042
00:58:37,840 --> 00:58:39,680
Speaker 1: And I know it doesn't say that exactly, but we

1043
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:42,640
Speaker 1: can find some script that checks that box.

1044
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:46,680
Speaker 2: To well we are. If I had one word to

1045
00:58:46,760 --> 00:58:52,040
Speaker 2: describe us, it would simply be blessed. We are blessed

1046
00:58:52,400 --> 00:58:58,280
Speaker 2: beyond measure. You can't outgive God. You can try, you

1047
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:00,000
Speaker 2: are never going to be successful.

1048
00:59:00,640 --> 00:59:03,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, on those lines, I would call you faithful.

1049
00:59:04,680 --> 00:59:08,320
Speaker 1: So thank you for joining me, Thank you for sharing

1050
00:59:08,440 --> 00:59:12,120
Speaker 1: your nutty story. And I think we'll pick up at

1051
00:59:12,200 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 1: least thirteen listeners on this episode, so that's a good thing.

1052
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,600
Speaker 1: Scott Lydia, thanks for being here, Thanks telling your story,

1053
00:59:21,600 --> 00:59:25,240
Speaker 1: and God bless you and God bless your family. Let

1054
00:59:25,320 --> 00:59:28,040
Speaker 1: us know if you do anything else crazy in the future,

1055
00:59:28,600 --> 00:59:30,320
Speaker 1: informed sounds good.

1056
00:59:30,360 --> 00:59:34,000
Speaker 3: Thanks for being.

1057
00:59:35,880 --> 00:59:39,440
Speaker 1: And thank you for joining us this week. If Lydia

1058
00:59:39,560 --> 00:59:43,000
Speaker 1: and Scott have inspired you in general, or better yet,

1059
00:59:43,040 --> 00:59:47,480
Speaker 1: to take action by exploring adopting, getting involved with an

1060
00:59:47,520 --> 00:59:51,840
Speaker 1: adoption or foster care nonprofit, wanting to join the Memphis

1061
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,360
Speaker 1: Chapter of the Army, wanting to start an Army chapter

1062
00:59:55,440 --> 00:59:59,320
Speaker 1: in your own community, or something else entirely, please let

1063
00:59:59,360 --> 01:00:01,800
Speaker 1: me know. I'd love to hear about it. You can

1064
01:00:01,800 --> 01:00:06,640
Speaker 1: write me anytime at Bill at normalfolks dot us. And

1065
01:00:06,760 --> 01:00:11,160
Speaker 1: you've enjoyed this episode, share friends'm on social, subscribe to

1066
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:14,520
Speaker 1: the podcast, rate it, review it, join the Army at

1067
01:00:14,520 --> 01:00:17,560
Speaker 1: normalfolks dot us, any and all of these things that

1068
01:00:17,600 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 1: will help us grow an army of normal folks. I'm

1069
01:00:20,880 --> 01:00:24,160
Speaker 1: Bill Courtney. Until next time, do what you can