1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,759 Speaker 1: I refuse to let my husband control our finances because 2 00:00:02,759 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 1: he's trying to control me. So my husband and I 3 00:00:05,880 --> 00:00:08,319 Speaker 1: have been married for over a year and he knows 4 00:00:08,360 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 1: what I make hourly, but I don't just hand my 5 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 1: money over to him. By the way, this comes from 6 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 1: material Parol eighteen forty on the Arsashoki tour time sever 7 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 1: So backstory. Ten years my kid's dad took control of 8 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 1: my bank account and income, spent my savings and gave 9 00:00:25,480 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: me an allowance of fifty dollars a week from my 10 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:34,880 Speaker 1: own check. Oh, this had to cover gas, groceries and diapers. 11 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:37,320 Speaker 1: So I gave birth to a second child a year 12 00:00:37,360 --> 00:00:39,839 Speaker 1: and a half later and would walk to the store 13 00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:44,240 Speaker 1: so I would have gas for work. Oh my, we've 14 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:49,720 Speaker 1: seen financial manipulation. This man is the satan of financial manipulators. 15 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 2: My god. 16 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,960 Speaker 1: One day I had to make a decision on buying 17 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: diapers from my oldest or my newborn. I cried in 18 00:00:58,280 --> 00:01:01,080 Speaker 1: the diaper section because I couldn't believe my life had 19 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,920 Speaker 1: gotten to this point. I'll never forget the kind person 20 00:01:05,120 --> 00:01:08,000 Speaker 1: who purchased the diapers for my children and gave me 21 00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:09,679 Speaker 1: extra money to hide. 22 00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,839 Speaker 3: When I had gotten home, I. 23 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:15,320 Speaker 1: Was belittled and accused of stealing money to buy so 24 00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:20,000 Speaker 1: much Yeah, for your own freaking children. When I explained 25 00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:23,640 Speaker 1: fifty dollars a week for the family of four of 26 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 1: us fifty dollars including diapers wasn't enough, he told me 27 00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:32,520 Speaker 1: to figure it out. I asked for one hundred dollars 28 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 1: a week. Eventually I convinced him to allow me more money. 29 00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: Three months later, I left and swore I would never 30 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,800 Speaker 1: allow another man. 31 00:01:42,040 --> 00:01:43,160 Speaker 3: To do that again. 32 00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:48,280 Speaker 1: Present day, ten years later, my husband was fully aware 33 00:01:48,560 --> 00:01:52,480 Speaker 1: that I came with about eighteen thousand dollars in credit 34 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:55,480 Speaker 1: card debt. It's a bundled deal, ladies and gentlemen. I've 35 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: successfully paid almost all of it in two full years. Wow, 36 00:02:00,480 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 1: that's big. Is that is making it happen? Cappen made 37 00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: it possible by not having my own house leech of 38 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 1: an X with four kids and no utilities, I'm responsible 39 00:02:12,639 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: for groceries for a family of five, phone bill for 40 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:18,600 Speaker 1: US in car insurance. I have my car payment and 41 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 1: one credit card. My husband pays the utilities and house payment. 42 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:25,720 Speaker 1: We recently purchased a new to US camper and he 43 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,799 Speaker 1: took a loan out on it and put the money 44 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: I got from my total camper in the bank, so 45 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,600 Speaker 1: he has that as well as his vehicle payment. 46 00:02:35,200 --> 00:02:36,639 Speaker 3: He says that I. 47 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,360 Speaker 1: Should be giving him three hundred dollars or more a 48 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:43,359 Speaker 1: month for savings and to help with the utilities, and 49 00:02:43,720 --> 00:02:48,239 Speaker 1: I won't. So to quickly big picture summarize what's happening here, 50 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 1: it seems that while she isn't a much better split 51 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:58,280 Speaker 1: you know, a payment financial situation, this new husband is 52 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:03,640 Speaker 1: still asked for a little more than it seems he 53 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: needs to be. And ope he is an understanding to 54 00:03:06,440 --> 00:03:10,600 Speaker 1: be like, hey, you know where I came from. Yeah, 55 00:03:10,880 --> 00:03:14,400 Speaker 1: I'm not dealing with any an ounce of BS as 56 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:17,760 Speaker 1: she shouldn't stand up queen if something happens to him. 57 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:20,640 Speaker 1: I can't access that account to pay bills, et cetera. 58 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: I don't believe I'm on his account at all. I 59 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:27,000 Speaker 1: opened an account five months ago and have two hundred 60 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,480 Speaker 1: and fifty dollars per check placed into. 61 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,200 Speaker 3: It for safekeeping. I love it. 62 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:35,080 Speaker 1: I also must get school supplies, kids clothes, et cetera. 63 00:03:35,160 --> 00:03:35,560 Speaker 3: Et cetera. 64 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:38,960 Speaker 1: Now his ex with his ex wife, they split the 65 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,760 Speaker 1: cost fifty to fifty for their daughter. But my ex 66 00:03:41,800 --> 00:03:44,880 Speaker 1: and I are not on those type of terms. My 67 00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:47,920 Speaker 1: husband gets huffy that my situation is not like his, 68 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 1: but I told him it is what it is now. 69 00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: Every pay period he will ask me for money for 70 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:56,360 Speaker 1: utilities and I brush it off or say, if you 71 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: buy groceries. Sure, He says, I don't know how to 72 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:02,800 Speaker 1: save money, and he should have what's left of my 73 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: check each week for a vacation, going out to dinner, 74 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera. Once again, he just said, I 75 00:04:08,280 --> 00:04:12,520 Speaker 1: should have your leftover money, your savings money, so I 76 00:04:12,560 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 1: can go on vacations and go out to dinners. 77 00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, that makes sense. 78 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:18,120 Speaker 1: Not even we can go on vacation and go out 79 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:22,400 Speaker 1: to dinners. Uh, but brother, I won't do it. The 80 00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:25,560 Speaker 1: mere thought of having an allowance again terrifies me. Do 81 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:28,840 Speaker 1: I overspend some weeks, Yes, but I don't use a 82 00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:31,520 Speaker 1: credit card to buy those items anymore. I don't rob 83 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:34,360 Speaker 1: Peter to pay Paul like I did back in twenty twenty. 84 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,440 Speaker 1: I budget right down to the coupons for groceries and 85 00:04:37,520 --> 00:04:40,599 Speaker 1: what my grocery bill will be before I enter the store. 86 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:44,400 Speaker 3: OPI is on her stuff. He says. 87 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,920 Speaker 1: I need to trust him and let him hold onto 88 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,839 Speaker 1: all of our money together because his savings account is 89 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:55,400 Speaker 1: my savings account also, but her name isn't on it. Literally, 90 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:59,919 Speaker 1: like this dude is an for sure new husband knows 91 00:05:00,520 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: the history that she's been through to say, like, oh, 92 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 1: your savings account is my savings account too. Knowing the 93 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: context of what she's been through to me is pure insanity. 94 00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 3: Different husbands, save man, talk about it. 95 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,039 Speaker 1: I just can't bring myself to do this unless I 96 00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 1: have full access to that account as well. 97 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:19,800 Speaker 3: I don't see that being an option. 98 00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,719 Speaker 1: He recently sold a vehicle and put sixteen thousand dollars 99 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: into savings and gave me one thousand dollars to spend 100 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: on whatever I wanted to. So I put two hundred 101 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:31,120 Speaker 1: dollars in the bank, bought my kids each one Christmas 102 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 1: gift early at a friend's house, so I didn't hand 103 00:05:33,640 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 1: it over now. They were on sale and I paid 104 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,200 Speaker 1: two hundred apiece per item, and I ordered myself some 105 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,360 Speaker 1: new glasses two hundred and seventy five bucks and some 106 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,679 Speaker 1: contacts one hundred and fifty bucks. I wanted a hoodie 107 00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:45,599 Speaker 1: for twenty dollars, and he said, I gave you the money, 108 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:45,880 Speaker 1: did you. 109 00:05:45,839 --> 00:05:49,280 Speaker 3: Spend it already? Hey? Hey, did you did you take 110 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:50,760 Speaker 3: the money to spend. 111 00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:53,920 Speaker 1: A Yeah, I spent it on our freaking kids. Yeah, 112 00:05:54,080 --> 00:05:57,120 Speaker 1: lock me up. Sorry, I bought a gift for our 113 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:01,520 Speaker 1: our children. We are parenting together, I said, kind of. 114 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 1: He knew what I did with it. He understands what 115 00:06:03,720 --> 00:06:06,080 Speaker 1: she spent it on. And he said he wasn't buying 116 00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:09,560 Speaker 1: the hoodie because I'm irresponsible with money, and he should 117 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,120 Speaker 1: have never given me the thousand dollars and asked for 118 00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,520 Speaker 1: receipts on everything I bought. He knew I went to 119 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 1: the eye doctor. He knew how much I paid, and 120 00:06:18,279 --> 00:06:21,159 Speaker 1: he knew about the gifts I got now because I 121 00:06:21,279 --> 00:06:25,600 Speaker 1: saved more than I spent on the Christmas gifts. He's 122 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 1: been very pushy about just holding all the money that 123 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: his friends are beginning to make comments about it. Who 124 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: what friends are like, Oh, hey, your wife's holding on 125 00:06:35,160 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: to too much of her savings. Find new friends. We 126 00:06:39,640 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 1: need to dump the friends. 127 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:46,040 Speaker 3: Can I ask if I'm under please? So she's making 128 00:06:46,120 --> 00:06:49,320 Speaker 3: her own money. Yes, he's making his own money. Yes, 129 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:53,640 Speaker 3: he's asking for money for utilities to pay. 130 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 1: They basically split different costs of the house, right, and yeah, 131 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: he'll say things along the lines of oh, hey, could 132 00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,320 Speaker 1: you you know, giving the money to cover utilities and 133 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:08,159 Speaker 1: she's like, we've already split, or or could you put 134 00:07:08,200 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 1: it in an account that I have control of? Could 135 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:14,760 Speaker 1: you give me some of your leftover money that I 136 00:07:14,760 --> 00:07:18,240 Speaker 1: can use for vacations and dinners? And when he says. 137 00:07:18,440 --> 00:07:23,680 Speaker 3: Is she getting money from him for vacations and dinners. 138 00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:25,560 Speaker 1: All she is getting is he is helping cover some 139 00:07:25,640 --> 00:07:30,720 Speaker 1: of the other bills that are there. So after there's 140 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: a close to at least you know, a split, you know, 141 00:07:34,120 --> 00:07:37,520 Speaker 1: some sort of split for living expenses, he's asking for 142 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,080 Speaker 1: extra money from her. 143 00:07:39,240 --> 00:07:41,880 Speaker 3: I think there needs to be a discussion re establishing boundaries, 144 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 3: saying like, hey, we're married, but I want our finances 145 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:50,080 Speaker 3: to be separate. I think what he's probably thinking, and 146 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:52,920 Speaker 3: I could be totally wrong, but he's like, I'm the 147 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,880 Speaker 3: man of the house, so those I need to control 148 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,640 Speaker 3: all the finances, and all my friends think that the 149 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:01,200 Speaker 3: man who control all the finances and like one that 150 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:04,600 Speaker 3: is not at all how a house needs to be 151 00:08:04,680 --> 00:08:09,200 Speaker 3: rung yep and two op has trauma but believing that 152 00:08:09,240 --> 00:08:11,320 Speaker 3: a man will take care of her if he controls 153 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,320 Speaker 3: all the finances, and then literally financially abusing this woman. 154 00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 3: So I feel like it's a huge red flag, but 155 00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,360 Speaker 3: maybe there's a chance. Oh he can re establish boundaries 156 00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 3: and get through to this guy in the social pressure 157 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:27,280 Speaker 3: that he may be feeling from friends or whatever his 158 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 3: upbringing was that made him think it was okay to 159 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:34,040 Speaker 3: like demand this. But it's looking really really, it's not 160 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 3: looking great. 161 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:38,520 Speaker 1: He is, like you said, basically completely ignoring her trauma 162 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 1: and bulldozing her back into traumatic territory when he should 163 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:47,280 Speaker 1: be doing the whole opposite, telling me I need to 164 00:08:47,440 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 1: pay when we go out for drinks, telling me that 165 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,920 Speaker 1: I need to pull that debit card out and pay 166 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:59,480 Speaker 1: the tab. So it is the friends are like, he's like, hey, babe, Blake, 167 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: can you put some money aside from me? And the 168 00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,040 Speaker 1: friend's like, yeah, why aren't you putting some money aside 169 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:04,440 Speaker 1: from him? 170 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 3: For Yeah, So I guess the friends are like, oh ope, 171 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 3: you wanna like keep all your money to yourself, then 172 00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,800 Speaker 3: why don't you pay the tab? Like that's kind of 173 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:15,000 Speaker 3: the energy that they're bringing. Yeah. 174 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, So Opie goes on to say, I probably have 175 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,319 Speaker 1: ten thousand dollars in the bank. I leave the tip, 176 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: I don't drink when we go out. Aside from just water, 177 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,480 Speaker 1: occasionally I will have a sipper, but I will not 178 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:25,880 Speaker 1: risk it. 179 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:26,440 Speaker 3: D ui. 180 00:09:26,720 --> 00:09:29,360 Speaker 1: I tip because the bartenders are usually really good making 181 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 1: sure my want water is full all the time, and 182 00:09:31,679 --> 00:09:34,240 Speaker 1: I never go without, so I take care of them. 183 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for not letting my husband 184 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,560 Speaker 1: have control of all of the money? Real quick before 185 00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:41,880 Speaker 1: we get to this edit. Just to answer this, I 186 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:46,679 Speaker 1: mean a resounding no, Like this guy should understand what 187 00:09:46,720 --> 00:09:49,680 Speaker 1: a traumatic experience you've been through and again do the 188 00:09:49,720 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 1: polar opposite of what he's doing. 189 00:09:51,040 --> 00:09:53,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I would be curious from you guys, 190 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:57,199 Speaker 3: you know what is the financial dynamic in your relationship 191 00:09:57,360 --> 00:10:01,840 Speaker 3: and what do you think is healthy in a financial dynamic, 192 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:05,439 Speaker 3: because you know there's there are there are worlds where 193 00:10:05,559 --> 00:10:07,560 Speaker 3: people are okay with this, where it's like, all right, 194 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 3: I'm gonna give one partner all the money and they 195 00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,559 Speaker 3: decide how we both spend it. But there are also 196 00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,600 Speaker 3: relationships where it's like you have your money, I have 197 00:10:16,679 --> 00:10:19,560 Speaker 3: my money, and we come together for joint expenses. Like 198 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:24,240 Speaker 3: I'm curious what you believe to be effective in your 199 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,840 Speaker 3: own relationship or if there's any financial rules that you 200 00:10:26,920 --> 00:10:32,199 Speaker 3: think should be universal. I think like in my relationship dynamics, 201 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:35,200 Speaker 3: like if we're kind of making equal amounts, we just 202 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:40,280 Speaker 3: pay equally for each other. If maybe it's like massively different, 203 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,760 Speaker 3: like you could you could pay I've seen like pay 204 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 3: percentage m So it's like the one person makes like 205 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:50,920 Speaker 3: twice the amount, then that person pays twice the bill 206 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 3: to the other person. You know. 207 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,320 Speaker 1: The one thing that all of the good setups have 208 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 1: in common is consensus. Consensus, I momification, agreed, Hey, this 209 00:10:59,080 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: is what we want to move you and they're both 210 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:05,840 Speaker 1: happy with it. That all of the good, healthy working setups, 211 00:11:06,360 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 1: it's all all consensus, all communications. 212 00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:12,560 Speaker 3: So the communication has been has broken down here. And 213 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:18,080 Speaker 3: my suspicion is like these friends are are like pressuring 214 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 3: Opie's husband to like take more manly power, manly financial 215 00:11:23,440 --> 00:11:26,120 Speaker 3: power in the relationship, and he's like maybe getting a 216 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,439 Speaker 3: little self conscious, and then like there's these undertones of 217 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 3: a toxic masculinity that are being fueled. Paul, divorce or not. 218 00:11:36,360 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 1: I'm curious vote and we're going to keep reading and 219 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,839 Speaker 1: then we're going to talk about it. Let's get into 220 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,000 Speaker 1: the edit. I want to be clear that the debt 221 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,200 Speaker 1: I acquired and had when we moved in together was 222 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:48,880 Speaker 1: from a past relationship, the one you know, the really 223 00:11:48,920 --> 00:11:51,840 Speaker 1: bad one from the beginning, taking a huge pay cut 224 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:56,240 Speaker 1: and the good old pandemic during that time, it destroyed 225 00:11:56,240 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: my income. I hardly worked and was continuing looking for 226 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,559 Speaker 1: work while homeschooling. 227 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 2: Both my kids. I robbed Peter to pay Paul. 228 00:12:05,480 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 1: And my ex boyfriend who lived with me didn't want 229 00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 1: to help with anything and was a huge financial burden. 230 00:12:11,640 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 1: I had to get that real inn. At at number two, 231 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:17,679 Speaker 1: our incomes are similar currently. In January, I was put 232 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,440 Speaker 1: up for promotion, and once my training is complete, my 233 00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:23,959 Speaker 1: monthly income will be one and a half times more 234 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 1: than my current monthly income than his current month Oh 235 00:12:27,679 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: so I'm sorry then his current monthly income, so OPI 236 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,720 Speaker 1: will then be making of quite a bit more. My 237 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:37,760 Speaker 1: current income base off his base pay and not overtime 238 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:41,880 Speaker 1: yearly is about a six thousand dollars a year difference 239 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:46,720 Speaker 1: annually and can go up to twenty thousand dollars with OT. 240 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:47,840 Speaker 3: In other words, OP. 241 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:51,240 Speaker 1: Could make twenty thousand more up to twenty thousand dollars 242 00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:54,240 Speaker 1: more WOW per year. At at number three, his bills 243 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: amount to roughly seven hundred bucks a month. Houses four hundred, 244 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:01,800 Speaker 1: leaving three hundred openly for gas, water like tricity, mine, 245 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 1: car insurance two fifty a month. It changed again because 246 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: he sold a vehicle and bought a different one. Last 247 00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,199 Speaker 1: month is three thirty seven phones A little over to 248 00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:14,520 Speaker 1: sixty four includes internet groceries, which ranged for from two 249 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 1: to four hundred dollars a week depending on produce and meat, 250 00:13:17,679 --> 00:13:20,199 Speaker 1: et cetera, which is a big reason why I haven't 251 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:21,559 Speaker 1: been helping with household bills. 252 00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:22,840 Speaker 3: I also pay for all. 253 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 1: Streaming services, which can be ridiculous to so super quickly 254 00:13:25,679 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: just to sum that all up. So over here we 255 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,840 Speaker 1: have husband is paying seven hundred dollars a month, and 256 00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:35,040 Speaker 1: then to do some quick maths, maybe Riley, if you 257 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 1: could help me. 258 00:13:35,679 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 3: I think she's paying like a thousand, Yeah, that's my 259 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,880 Speaker 3: that's my out of the butt math and fifty. 260 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:45,400 Speaker 1: On that's bare minimum. That's bare minimum. By the way, 261 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:46,520 Speaker 1: that was good. 262 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,200 Speaker 3: That was good. 263 00:13:47,400 --> 00:13:49,800 Speaker 2: Holy cow, so dude off the dome. 264 00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 3: Holy so. 265 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:55,920 Speaker 1: Oh you said sixteen fifty on a sixteen fifty I 266 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,280 Speaker 1: thought you were reading the thing. 267 00:13:57,480 --> 00:13:58,280 Speaker 3: That's crazy. 268 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:03,080 Speaker 1: Oh my god, goodness, wow, so yeah, as as as 269 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:08,360 Speaker 1: as mister math brainiac, same old daughter total guests totally, dude, 270 00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:12,920 Speaker 1: you should you got that. You got that said Opie 271 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,800 Speaker 1: is paying like way more than him, and remember he's 272 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:16,719 Speaker 1: still asking for way more. 273 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:19,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I think probably a lot of this 274 00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 3: is just coming from also him not knowing how much 275 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:25,920 Speaker 3: she's pulling. You know, potentially it could just all also 276 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 3: be toxic masculinity, patriarchy kind of stuff, but it could 277 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 3: potentially be him thinking that he pays more than his 278 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:36,040 Speaker 3: first fair share and her thinking that she pays more 279 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:38,640 Speaker 3: than her fair share. And there's just like a lot 280 00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 3: like a communication lapse, yeah there, which you know, like 281 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:45,880 Speaker 3: I think very well could just be as a dick. 282 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:49,320 Speaker 3: But come to the table with some communication and find. 283 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:52,360 Speaker 1: Out for sure, Yeah, double check that he knows, like, oh, 284 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,119 Speaker 1: I'm paying like over. 285 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 3: Double and double check that you know how much like 286 00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,800 Speaker 3: you're paying relative to him, you know. Yeah, to me, 287 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,720 Speaker 3: I feel like financial communication is super. 288 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,000 Speaker 1: Indeed, makes you make sure he know. I kind of 289 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:10,760 Speaker 1: guess he would, but make sure for sure. Additional information 290 00:15:10,840 --> 00:15:13,760 Speaker 1: from Ope on the finances towards mortgage bills, et cetera. 291 00:15:14,120 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 1: Opie says, when we agreed to move in together and 292 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,360 Speaker 1: I gave up my rental home. He paid for everything 293 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 1: so I could pay off the debt and purchase a vehicle. 294 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:24,120 Speaker 1: I couldn't afford the car payment prior to moving in 295 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 1: any longer, so. 296 00:15:25,400 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 2: I sold it back to the dealership. 297 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,560 Speaker 1: I borrowed a vehicle from my sister for four months 298 00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,800 Speaker 1: till I got some of my stuff paid down, and 299 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 1: then bought a new car with a lower payment. After 300 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:37,560 Speaker 1: about five months and relying on him for everything, he 301 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:40,120 Speaker 1: asked if I wanted to cover groceries since I do 302 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,880 Speaker 1: the cooking and home inventory toiletre's. 303 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 2: Kitchen supplies, et cetera. 304 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 1: I took that on, as well as taking the phone 305 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: bill and then the car insurance. He said that the 306 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,360 Speaker 1: house and utilities were in his name, and my kids 307 00:15:51,360 --> 00:15:53,920 Speaker 1: and I moving in didn't change much aside from water, 308 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:56,640 Speaker 1: and he wasn't concerned on me paying those because the 309 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,320 Speaker 1: main thing in the house that went up was the groceries. 310 00:15:59,760 --> 00:16:02,680 Speaker 1: Had balance it out, with the house payment and utilities 311 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:05,800 Speaker 1: being around six hundred, six fifty to seven hundred dollars 312 00:16:05,880 --> 00:16:09,000 Speaker 1: in total, myself paying for the car insurance three hundred 313 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,560 Speaker 1: dollars for the three vehicles in camper phone payment of 314 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 1: two hundred bucks, as well as being the person to 315 00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:17,240 Speaker 1: buy all the groceries. It was even enough that he 316 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,720 Speaker 1: pays the utilities and the house. 317 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,600 Speaker 3: So what I'm hearing from that, mm hmm is that 318 00:16:24,600 --> 00:16:27,640 Speaker 3: for a while he paid everything for her in the 319 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:32,360 Speaker 3: beginning in the beginning, and then over time it equalized. 320 00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:35,160 Speaker 1: It seems like over time it went it tipped the 321 00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: scaleton now where she's paying a lot more. 322 00:16:38,120 --> 00:16:40,400 Speaker 3: And you know what, I think, you know, I think 323 00:16:40,480 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 3: he's probably thinking, Wow, I paid for her everything, and 324 00:16:44,560 --> 00:16:48,080 Speaker 3: she's not valuing that. And she's probably thinking I'm paying 325 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:50,880 Speaker 3: way more than my fair share now and he's not 326 00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,720 Speaker 3: valuing that. And so again I think I think there 327 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:55,880 Speaker 3: is a miscommunication here. 328 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, he need if he feels that way, he needs 329 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: to say, hey, you know, I was covering everything for 330 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:04,720 Speaker 1: a good bit to get you back on your feet. 331 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:08,080 Speaker 1: I would like you know now that that you know, 332 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,879 Speaker 1: time period is done, I you know, would would like 333 00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:15,560 Speaker 1: for you to contribute more in these areas. But he's like, no, 334 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,600 Speaker 1: give me the money and the accounts not communicating that 335 00:17:18,840 --> 00:17:22,480 Speaker 1: at all. He's like a healthy way, Yeah, and it's 336 00:17:22,480 --> 00:17:24,840 Speaker 1: like an underhanded way. And yeah, I think I think 337 00:17:24,880 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 1: there is a really poor communication style here, almost and 338 00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:34,680 Speaker 1: conspiracy theory, but almost as if he used him paying 339 00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: in the beginning. 340 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:39,960 Speaker 3: To bend leverage as a leverage for controlingo, which you 341 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 3: know we don't know until we have that conversation. Yeah, 342 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:46,080 Speaker 3: but it is feeling it's not feeling great, and it's 343 00:17:46,119 --> 00:17:49,359 Speaker 3: not feeling great. Nicole Achen asked, and what his income? 344 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,400 Speaker 3: What is his income? His income is twenty thousand dollars 345 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,360 Speaker 3: less than op. Yes, six right now, six to twenty 346 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,400 Speaker 3: thousand lessons. You know what? Actually, we could actually do 347 00:18:00,119 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 3: this math where because it's because we know that Op's yeah, 348 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,920 Speaker 3: we well we know we know OP is making one 349 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:13,040 Speaker 3: point five times what what he makes a month. So 350 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:17,920 Speaker 3: it's like one point five x equals why and then 351 00:18:18,040 --> 00:18:19,880 Speaker 3: also something and it's something like that one point five 352 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,720 Speaker 3: x equals why, and then it would be like like uh, 353 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:27,320 Speaker 3: X minus twenty equals y. And so if we solve 354 00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:30,840 Speaker 3: that equation, we will know we would know exactly how 355 00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:32,480 Speaker 3: much OP is making. 356 00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:37,200 Speaker 2: I was in Dumb Boy alge one in eleventh. 357 00:18:36,880 --> 00:18:40,800 Speaker 4: Ra So you keep reading Op makes one and a 358 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,520 Speaker 4: half times more than he does. 359 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:44,760 Speaker 3: Right, yeah, op, makes one give me the white port 360 00:18:45,119 --> 00:18:47,199 Speaker 3: the white point is there a marker? Yeah? All right, 361 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:48,159 Speaker 3: I'm gonna figure this out out. 362 00:18:48,240 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 4: I actually had to do this math with my little 363 00:18:50,320 --> 00:18:51,560 Speaker 4: brother and my dad couldn't do it and I had 364 00:18:51,560 --> 00:18:55,520 Speaker 4: to help him out. Like over whenever's there for takes 365 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 4: graduation that's adorable. 366 00:18:57,640 --> 00:19:00,800 Speaker 1: Also, we have it updates, so I took some of 367 00:19:00,840 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 1: your suggestions. Previously, I asked him to go to marriage 368 00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:07,680 Speaker 1: counseling and he declined because he didn't have any issues 369 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,080 Speaker 1: in our marriage except me. 370 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 3: Wow. 371 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:16,359 Speaker 1: Red Flag suggested a joint bank account for bills and 372 00:19:16,480 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 1: bills alone, and we have separate accounts for savings. This 373 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,520 Speaker 1: argument was pretty much the end of our marriage for me, 374 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,399 Speaker 1: and I think we're about to see why. I opened 375 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,520 Speaker 1: my own savings account at a different bank than I 376 00:19:30,560 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: currently bank through. I didn't have a debit card and 377 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,719 Speaker 1: if I needed to pull money out, I had to 378 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:39,200 Speaker 1: physically go to the bank. I picked up side cleaning 379 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,960 Speaker 1: jobs for spending money, so I wouldn't really touch either 380 00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,320 Speaker 1: account that I had. We went to a sporting event 381 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,520 Speaker 1: with our children. I have two and he has won 382 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:50,280 Speaker 1: from a previous relationship. After the event, the kids wanted 383 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:52,760 Speaker 1: fast food, which was okay with me. It was late 384 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,919 Speaker 1: and I didn't want to cook, so he asked me 385 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:57,840 Speaker 1: when we won the lottery, and I told him I 386 00:19:57,920 --> 00:19:59,919 Speaker 1: didn't feel like cooking and it was fine and I 387 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,919 Speaker 1: he handed him twenty dollars. But they literally went to 388 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 1: get fast food and BRO said, oh, I. 389 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,720 Speaker 3: Don't know when we won the walterry. Why are we're 390 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 3: going out to do this? Bro? 391 00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:14,680 Speaker 2: Three days later, I went to work. 392 00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 1: Apparently he had other decisions that came with the money 393 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:20,800 Speaker 1: in his account that he wanted me to put money into. 394 00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:25,520 Speaker 1: I came home to the ugliest dang car in our driveway. 395 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 3: I see us. 396 00:20:27,400 --> 00:20:29,399 Speaker 1: He wasn't at home, he was at the bar, so 397 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,600 Speaker 1: when he pulled in the driveway, I pretended to be 398 00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 1: sleeping so I wouldn't blow up on him that night. 399 00:20:34,680 --> 00:20:38,200 Speaker 1: Since he had been drinking for five hours. I knew 400 00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,320 Speaker 1: it wasn't the best idea anyways. Wow, he was mad 401 00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,440 Speaker 1: at me when I woke up in the morning because 402 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:45,600 Speaker 1: I didn't say good night to him and was asleep 403 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:48,040 Speaker 1: by the time he got home. He said, I don't 404 00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 1: have to worry it because he's going to take out 405 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:53,000 Speaker 1: alone on the car to put the money back in 406 00:20:53,119 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 1: his savings account, the same thing he did with the 407 00:20:56,359 --> 00:21:00,119 Speaker 1: camper when I gave him the money for it, and 408 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,199 Speaker 1: I had actually given him money to put in his 409 00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:06,359 Speaker 1: savings account. It wasn't our money, it was his money. 410 00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 1: Financial decisions were his and his loan. 411 00:21:09,359 --> 00:21:11,719 Speaker 2: Apparently, all right, I got it, all right? 412 00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:18,080 Speaker 3: Break it down for us, Okay, So X equals Op's money, 413 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:23,919 Speaker 3: Y equals Hubby's money. We know that op Op's money 414 00:21:24,200 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 3: equals one point five times Hubbies money. And we also 415 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 3: know that Opie's money equals Hubbies money plus twenty thousand 416 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,760 Speaker 3: dollars because she makes twenty thousand dollars more. So what 417 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 3: we do is, this is x's X, so that's equal. 418 00:21:40,320 --> 00:21:43,240 Speaker 3: So we make the one point five Y equal to 419 00:21:43,280 --> 00:21:46,960 Speaker 3: the Y plus twenty thousand that we divide. We subtract. 420 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,440 Speaker 3: Why from here we get point five and we bring 421 00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:51,959 Speaker 3: it over so it goes point five Y equals twenty thousand. 422 00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:54,439 Speaker 3: We divide by point five on this side, divide by 423 00:21:54,480 --> 00:21:56,800 Speaker 3: point five on this side. So now we know that 424 00:21:56,920 --> 00:22:00,200 Speaker 3: Hubby makes forty thousand dollars a year and op he 425 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,040 Speaker 3: makes sixty thousand dollars a year. 426 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:08,680 Speaker 1: I think that's saying old Donaldlazer Jean. If she gets 427 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 1: all her overtime, If she gets all her overtime, yet's 428 00:22:11,359 --> 00:22:15,280 Speaker 1: still So I started looking for an apartment when I 429 00:22:15,359 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: got into work, and with three hours I was signing 430 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,399 Speaker 1: the paperwork and getting a cashier's check for a security deposit. 431 00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:26,040 Speaker 1: I told him the day before I was moving and 432 00:22:26,160 --> 00:22:28,960 Speaker 1: that I was leaving, and he asked me how could 433 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,880 Speaker 1: I do this without talking to him. I said, well, 434 00:22:32,080 --> 00:22:34,399 Speaker 1: you went and bought a whole car without talking to 435 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:37,960 Speaker 1: me first. So I got an apartment without your permission. 436 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:43,920 Speaker 1: I filed for divorce on my birthday, Happy birthday, cheap birth. 437 00:22:44,760 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 1: I've been called a gold digger, accused of having an 438 00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,840 Speaker 1: affair and being blamed for his financial problems. He is 439 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:54,639 Speaker 1: currently in the camper I practically paid for, and he 440 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:57,359 Speaker 1: decided to get a loan on to have money in 441 00:22:57,440 --> 00:23:00,440 Speaker 1: his savings account. Bro is such an He's He's like, oh, 442 00:23:00,560 --> 00:23:03,200 Speaker 1: let me get more savings by taking out a loan. 443 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:06,200 Speaker 3: Brother, wicked, smart brother. 444 00:23:07,119 --> 00:23:09,840 Speaker 1: He doesn't want anymore and said I have to pay 445 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,040 Speaker 1: for the cost of the loan to get it out 446 00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: from under him, when I don't see why I should 447 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:16,920 Speaker 1: have to since I gave him the cash. 448 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:18,159 Speaker 3: I don't have a trail on. 449 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,160 Speaker 1: What it was for when I gave him the money, 450 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,160 Speaker 1: nor did he ever put it in the bank after 451 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:24,600 Speaker 1: I gave it to him. And again, just to clarify 452 00:23:24,680 --> 00:23:28,680 Speaker 1: one more time, she helped pay for this camper he got. 453 00:23:28,760 --> 00:23:30,679 Speaker 1: She gave him money for it. Then he took out 454 00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:32,159 Speaker 1: a loan and he's like, oh, pay the money for 455 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:32,479 Speaker 1: the loan. 456 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:33,880 Speaker 3: She's like, I literally already. 457 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:36,160 Speaker 2: Gave you the money for it. What are you talking about? 458 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,960 Speaker 1: So if I want the camper, I don't really have 459 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:41,480 Speaker 1: a choice but to do it. He asked for cash 460 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,639 Speaker 1: for the camper, and I literally laughed out loud and 461 00:23:44,800 --> 00:23:47,800 Speaker 1: said that I did that once already and I'm not 462 00:23:47,960 --> 00:23:50,920 Speaker 1: doing it again and having to pay additional any more. 463 00:23:51,359 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 1: He calls me, asking for the truth and if I 464 00:23:53,480 --> 00:23:56,000 Speaker 1: was really cheating on him and that caused me to 465 00:23:56,080 --> 00:23:59,760 Speaker 1: leave because I wasn't watering his garden. I told him 466 00:23:59,880 --> 00:24:02,920 Speaker 1: marriages end for other things and not just affairs, and 467 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 1: told him to seek therapy because he has a lot 468 00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,440 Speaker 1: of unresolved issues from his previous marriage. 469 00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:08,760 Speaker 3: Is plural. 470 00:24:09,280 --> 00:24:12,600 Speaker 1: If he assumes that I cheated on him, by the way, 471 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,920 Speaker 1: you should never cheat on us, and the best way 472 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: to do that is a taper profile and shoin our 473 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:18,720 Speaker 1: lives every weekday at three pm PST. 474 00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 2: Come just come on in, guys, YouTube, TikTok, Facebook, get 475 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:22,320 Speaker 2: in here. 476 00:24:22,480 --> 00:24:27,119 Speaker 3: It's here, let's talk. Was divorce the right move? I mean, 477 00:24:27,160 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 3: I feel like Op didn't want this guy to control her. So, yes, 478 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:34,600 Speaker 3: I honestly was mathing for a good portion of that 479 00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:38,960 Speaker 3: second half A Mathing great mine. I appreciate it. But yeah, 480 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:42,640 Speaker 3: I feel like Ope needed to get out of that. Yeah, 481 00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:43,240 Speaker 3: it was. 482 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:47,440 Speaker 1: And you know what, Op started working extra cleaning jobs, 483 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:50,320 Speaker 1: opened up new bank accounts. She set herself up well. 484 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:52,840 Speaker 1: And the reason why she got the apartment and everything 485 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:56,600 Speaker 1: and didn't tell him is because if she did, who 486 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,119 Speaker 1: knows what he could have done to try to ruin that, 487 00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:00,359 Speaker 1: try to take the money. 488 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I don't think it's ever good to 489 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:04,560 Speaker 3: lie to your partner. But I also think, like. 490 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:09,880 Speaker 1: You know that in circumstances of the marriage with use 491 00:25:09,920 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: in danger, which I think this falls into, like the 492 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:16,080 Speaker 1: financially abusive category, it is it is justified. 493 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say I think cheryld I says, yes, 494 00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,920 Speaker 3: divorce is overdue. I think in an ideal case, you 495 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:25,800 Speaker 3: divorce before you get you know, the secret apartment and stuff, 496 00:25:25,840 --> 00:25:30,720 Speaker 3: but also recognize that there are actenuating circumstances where people 497 00:25:30,920 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 3: might need to create a safe exit for themselves. 498 00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,600 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and I think I think this one falls 499 00:25:37,600 --> 00:25:40,880 Speaker 1: into that category. I'm getting a divorce. After divorce, I'll 500 00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,000 Speaker 1: be looking to purchase my own home and having absolutely 501 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,680 Speaker 1: no contact with him. My children and I are thriving 502 00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 1: already in our little apartment, and I'm managing my money 503 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 1: very well. He wanted someone to depend on him and 504 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:54,680 Speaker 1: need him. 505 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:59,399 Speaker 3: That just wasn't me. There we have it, and there 506 00:25:59,480 --> 00:26:01,879 Speaker 3: we have that's the end. That's right. Let us know 507 00:26:02,040 --> 00:26:04,720 Speaker 3: what you think OP should have done or if you 508 00:26:04,840 --> 00:26:07,840 Speaker 3: thought Ope did the right thing. And with that, if 509 00:26:07,920 --> 00:26:10,600 Speaker 3: you love us, make sure to subscribe. We love you 510 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:15,600 Speaker 3: and see you tomorrow. This is an episode from Deep 511 00:26:15,640 --> 00:26:16,560 Speaker 3: Within the Archives. 512 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 2: Time for Okop Rewlam. 513 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:24,160 Speaker 1: I was paid to do nothing for eighty nine days, 514 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,160 Speaker 1: but today is a deadline and the company found out. 515 00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:29,520 Speaker 3: Okayop. This is Okayop. 516 00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: I'm Samuel Donner and I'm John Frot and we tell 517 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,480 Speaker 1: the Bunny of stores on the Internet. 518 00:26:33,640 --> 00:26:34,080 Speaker 5: Yeah we do. 519 00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,720 Speaker 1: And I'm wondering, Sam, what's like the worst instance of 520 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,280 Speaker 1: you forgetting something? Like, what's been the biggest downfall of 521 00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:43,160 Speaker 1: you for getting something? 522 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,520 Speaker 3: I put like a couple thousand dollars in this random 523 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 3: crypto bank thing, and I had literally like I had 524 00:26:52,040 --> 00:26:54,399 Speaker 3: a moment last a couple of weeks ago where I 525 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:58,160 Speaker 3: was like, I have forgot my keys and I had 526 00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,399 Speaker 3: no idea where it was. Yeah, and then I remember, 527 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,119 Speaker 3: oh wait, wait, I think I said one of my books. 528 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:05,120 Speaker 3: But I had to like go through every single book 529 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 3: to find where I had written down these keys on 530 00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:11,040 Speaker 3: like a post it note, which is not the most 531 00:27:11,359 --> 00:27:16,080 Speaker 3: safe method, before holding all of my bank detail, which 532 00:27:16,080 --> 00:27:19,520 Speaker 3: is basically what one of these things are. So yeah, 533 00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:22,920 Speaker 3: I totally almost got screwed over. But luckily I found 534 00:27:22,960 --> 00:27:25,520 Speaker 3: it and I was able to regain that money back. 535 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,080 Speaker 3: That is good to hear. 536 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's kind of like the equival of like the 537 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: crypto stuffing the money in the mattress, right, Like your 538 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:34,040 Speaker 1: key to the crypto is like the cash. 539 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:34,520 Speaker 5: Yeah. 540 00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:39,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely something I shouldn't do and am going to 541 00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,680 Speaker 3: be better about going forward hopefully. Well. 542 00:27:41,720 --> 00:27:44,159 Speaker 1: I have a story about someone who also made a 543 00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:47,639 Speaker 1: grave mistake, except it wasn't just his own money, it 544 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,200 Speaker 1: was the company that was at stake. 545 00:27:50,520 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 3: Oh my god, those stakes are big when you're dealing 546 00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:58,000 Speaker 3: without fortune. Five hundred big old warm buffet business. Daddy's 547 00:27:58,040 --> 00:28:01,080 Speaker 3: gonna come with his club and herb stop ready to 548 00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:01,800 Speaker 3: take action. 549 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,320 Speaker 2: Bigger steaks and a t bone a baby. Let's get 550 00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:04,639 Speaker 2: into it. 551 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,520 Speaker 1: I was paid to do nothing for eighty nine days, 552 00:28:07,880 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: but today is the deadline. 553 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:10,520 Speaker 2: And the company found out. 554 00:28:11,119 --> 00:28:14,840 Speaker 1: Oh no, the company found out you were doing your job. 555 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:21,439 Speaker 1: Rats foiled again, foiled again. All right, So I've been 556 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:23,800 Speaker 1: a student with the public service for about two years now. 557 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 1: My position, obviously Maxking specifics, can be best described as 558 00:28:28,880 --> 00:28:31,880 Speaker 1: a risk analyst, where I'm given fifty to ninety days 559 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 1: to review a file, confirm risk slash liability is feasible, 560 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 1: and then start drafting the contract. Okay, sounds simple enough, 561 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:41,760 Speaker 1: Sound straightforward. The fifty to ninety days depends on the 562 00:28:41,840 --> 00:28:44,040 Speaker 1: overall value of the work. As a student, I was 563 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,280 Speaker 1: only seeing the easy, low value workload with a fifty 564 00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:49,640 Speaker 1: day expectation. I'm pretty good at my job, and I 565 00:28:49,760 --> 00:28:51,520 Speaker 1: was able to get it completed in five to ten 566 00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:54,680 Speaker 1: days and would officially submit around twenty five to thirty days. 567 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:57,640 Speaker 2: Yes, this is what the typical government worker does. 568 00:28:58,240 --> 00:29:01,800 Speaker 3: Wait, so they just chill for it all weeks. 569 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:03,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, yo, I finished it in five days, 570 00:29:03,840 --> 00:29:06,720 Speaker 1: but I'll give it to you in a month. Wow, 571 00:29:07,200 --> 00:29:12,320 Speaker 1: that is some expert uh laziness right there, dude, extremely 572 00:29:12,400 --> 00:29:15,560 Speaker 1: expert laz I'm glad our government is in such good hands. 573 00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 2: Government efficiency. 574 00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:20,560 Speaker 1: Maybe Now, I thought this was a fantastic plan as 575 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:23,440 Speaker 1: I was consistently getting praise for my team for how 576 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 1: hard I work. 577 00:29:24,240 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 2: Wow, he's literally doing it so late and consistently getting praise. 578 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 3: I love like that is the bar is set so 579 00:29:30,720 --> 00:29:33,320 Speaker 3: low for government work that you can sit on your 580 00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 3: ass for two weeks and get paid and people praise 581 00:29:37,120 --> 00:29:37,720 Speaker 3: you for it. Dude. 582 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,720 Speaker 1: Rough, Now, the work here is not difficult in any 583 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:45,000 Speaker 1: way even worse than only does he not work for 584 00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 1: two weeks? 585 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:46,640 Speaker 3: But the work isn't hard. 586 00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:51,480 Speaker 1: It's not difficult, but it is extremely tedious. For example, 587 00:29:51,840 --> 00:29:54,719 Speaker 1: tomorrow is likely to consist of three to four hours 588 00:29:55,160 --> 00:29:58,800 Speaker 1: of hard labor of looking at memes and scrolling through Reddit, 589 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,520 Speaker 1: and then one hour of actually working, which is eventually 590 00:30:02,680 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 1: extended into a lunch and then going home early. The 591 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:07,680 Speaker 1: one hour still gives me enough time to be productive 592 00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 1: for the day and submit a few things to my team. 593 00:30:11,040 --> 00:30:13,600 Speaker 2: Now, let's go over the f up from earlier this morning. 594 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:14,840 Speaker 3: Oh no, I'm ready for it. 595 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 1: Almost four months ago, I was offered a full time 596 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:20,440 Speaker 1: intermediate contract with the same team, which I gladly accepted. 597 00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:23,000 Speaker 1: This just meant that I would receive a similar workload, 598 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 1: but with higher values. So you know, it's not as 599 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 1: much the you know, low value stuff anymore. 600 00:30:28,240 --> 00:30:31,000 Speaker 3: So he's going to get the exact same amount of workload, 601 00:30:31,040 --> 00:30:32,720 Speaker 3: but he's just going to have more time to do it. 602 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like this, just like if I f it up, 603 00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 1: it's it's monumentally important. Before it really mattered in my head, 604 00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,000 Speaker 1: I was thinking, fantastic, higher value equals more time to 605 00:30:43,200 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 1: f around and get paid for it. 606 00:30:45,360 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 2: Burrah. 607 00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:50,720 Speaker 1: Oh PE's of mind is uh is not built for employment. 608 00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: Maybe it is honestly what you should do. Well, this 609 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 1: was certainly not the case this morning. 610 00:30:57,120 --> 00:30:58,760 Speaker 2: As I entered work oh No. 611 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:03,280 Speaker 1: Six forty five, I walk in and get weird stanky 612 00:31:03,400 --> 00:31:06,560 Speaker 1: eyes for my entire team leading into the director's office 613 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 1: seven am, finish unpacking my computer files and go for 614 00:31:10,880 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 1: my coffee as per usual. Right seven fifteen am, I 615 00:31:14,240 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 1: get called into the director's office. Let's call him director Jim. 616 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,320 Speaker 1: Jim and I have spoken maybe twice in all of 617 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:20,880 Speaker 1: two years. 618 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,160 Speaker 3: Oh my god. Jim is not very active in the 619 00:31:23,200 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 3: office either, imagining everyone just sitting on their ass like 620 00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 3: twenty four to seven. Yeah, government work, baby, it needs 621 00:31:28,920 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 3: to be done twice or not at all. Yes, Jim, 622 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 3: Good morning everyone, Opie. Did you forget something yesterday? I 623 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:45,000 Speaker 3: love like I'm imagining. It's just like a massive Texan dude. Yeah, 624 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:46,320 Speaker 3: who's a talent? 625 00:31:47,440 --> 00:31:47,560 Speaker 1: Uh? 626 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,520 Speaker 2: Dim from Dimsdale dimodomes? 627 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:54,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeahdon that's odd parents, but that he is even better. 628 00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,560 Speaker 1: Yes, he's a cartoon, but it works for this. Yes, 629 00:31:57,840 --> 00:32:03,000 Speaker 1: I'm trying my hardest to think. M no, I replied. 630 00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: Jim asked again, are you dang diddly sure you didn't 631 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:13,640 Speaker 1: forget something? And naturally I start to panic. What the 632 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:16,720 Speaker 1: f could I have forgotten? Why is he asking me twice? 633 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 1: Why is he even talking to me? Oh? No? I 634 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:21,600 Speaker 1: asked him if I could go get my notebook because 635 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:23,800 Speaker 1: I track everything there and I don't really have the 636 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:24,960 Speaker 1: specifics in my head. 637 00:32:25,680 --> 00:32:27,080 Speaker 2: He refuses and says. 638 00:32:27,680 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 5: File xx three did you forget you were a signed file. 639 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:37,880 Speaker 3: X x three not x x three. The double x 640 00:32:38,560 --> 00:32:41,080 Speaker 3: x marks the spot that you didn't realize that you 641 00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:42,520 Speaker 3: had to mark. Sucker. 642 00:32:43,480 --> 00:32:46,760 Speaker 1: Awkward silence for me because there was this file assigned 643 00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:51,200 Speaker 1: to me right around the time my full contract signing, and. 644 00:32:51,320 --> 00:32:54,840 Speaker 2: That was one of the highest value files of them all. 645 00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 1: Oh no, so Op is messing up on literally the 646 00:33:00,800 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 1: the super Bowl of government projects, all the files. 647 00:33:04,080 --> 00:33:04,720 Speaker 2: Now here's the thing. 648 00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,120 Speaker 1: I was given eighty days to complete this when it 649 00:33:08,240 --> 00:33:11,840 Speaker 1: was assigned, but the deadline is today at two pm. 650 00:33:12,240 --> 00:33:14,280 Speaker 3: Oh no, you better work fast, Op. 651 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:19,560 Speaker 5: Jim, go get your up top for now. Boy boy, 652 00:33:20,120 --> 00:33:22,560 Speaker 5: I want to see you wayt and who I can 653 00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,360 Speaker 5: assigned to clean up this nonsense mess. 654 00:33:25,880 --> 00:33:30,120 Speaker 1: This is also extremely awkward because yes, technically I didn't 655 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:33,000 Speaker 1: forget about it, but what I couldn't admit was that 656 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:39,200 Speaker 1: the file was actually completely done, like done done? What? 657 00:33:39,600 --> 00:33:39,760 Speaker 3: Wait? 658 00:33:39,880 --> 00:33:43,280 Speaker 1: How Jim starts asking me what I even do all day, 659 00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:47,480 Speaker 1: threatening to get the IT department to see my browsing 660 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:49,080 Speaker 1: history and Internet activity. 661 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 3: No, Op, no, no. 662 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:53,680 Speaker 1: At this point, he's gone from his normal pale white 663 00:33:53,760 --> 00:33:57,720 Speaker 1: cal himself to red in the face, pacing back and 664 00:33:57,880 --> 00:34:01,080 Speaker 1: forth oh gosh. I asked Jim not to involve any 665 00:34:01,120 --> 00:34:03,720 Speaker 1: of my colleagues, as I assured him I could clean 666 00:34:03,840 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 1: up this mess myself. I get to my laptop and 667 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:09,280 Speaker 1: quickly make a new folder for Jim to see, titled 668 00:34:09,560 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: XX three. He opens it and it contained just the 669 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:15,840 Speaker 1: initial documents my office needs to start a file, but 670 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,680 Speaker 1: nothing more. So basically like the beginnings of it, but 671 00:34:18,800 --> 00:34:20,160 Speaker 1: not the whole thing. Right. 672 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:23,160 Speaker 2: He lays into me, asking what I've been doing for 673 00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,640 Speaker 2: the last seventy nine days. 674 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:31,840 Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, nothing, nothing, nothing. 675 00:34:31,719 --> 00:34:33,359 Speaker 2: OV says, this is a fair question. 676 00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,400 Speaker 1: I ask myself often to be honest, and Jim also 677 00:34:36,480 --> 00:34:39,040 Speaker 1: said if I don't have this completed by two pm, 678 00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,960 Speaker 1: he will terminate me as I am still on probation. 679 00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,160 Speaker 3: Oh no, the job's on. 680 00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,520 Speaker 2: The line, dude, everything's on the line now. 681 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:49,800 Speaker 1: Like I said, the entire file from start to finish 682 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:50,960 Speaker 1: is already complete. 683 00:34:51,520 --> 00:34:52,280 Speaker 2: So what's missing? 684 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:56,400 Speaker 1: You might ask the necessary approvals and signatures for my 685 00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:59,320 Speaker 1: team leader and Jim, the director of our office. 686 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,160 Speaker 3: He's fine, so he just needs to get the signatures. 687 00:35:02,560 --> 00:35:04,799 Speaker 1: These signatures usually take a week to get and are 688 00:35:04,880 --> 00:35:08,600 Speaker 1: required before moving on to finalizing and posting in our system. 689 00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:13,239 Speaker 1: I finished this entire MOFO in early October, one week 690 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:14,480 Speaker 1: after it was assigned to me. 691 00:35:14,640 --> 00:35:15,120 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 692 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:18,719 Speaker 1: But I completely forgot to submit the individual documents as 693 00:35:18,760 --> 00:35:21,480 Speaker 1: I progressed with it, and that eventually led to me 694 00:35:21,640 --> 00:35:25,840 Speaker 1: completely forgetting all about it. Now, the thing is like, actually, 695 00:35:25,920 --> 00:35:28,920 Speaker 1: like op was an overachiever. It was an overachieved That's 696 00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:31,280 Speaker 1: why he forgot. But here's the thing. If he tells 697 00:35:31,360 --> 00:35:34,080 Speaker 1: him that, then it blows his cover. Then they know 698 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,279 Speaker 1: that the whole time he was doing these now like 699 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 1: five days, and then sitting on them the whole time. 700 00:35:39,280 --> 00:35:41,960 Speaker 2: So that's why I couldn't show the original files. Oh god. 701 00:35:42,320 --> 00:35:43,799 Speaker 2: Now here we are on Reddit. 702 00:35:43,640 --> 00:35:46,600 Speaker 1: Posting about my f up as opposed to actually submitting 703 00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:47,200 Speaker 1: my own work. 704 00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,880 Speaker 2: So he's literally writing this in the middle of the chaos. 705 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,840 Speaker 1: Oh my god, Oh my god, he's writing it in 706 00:35:55,040 --> 00:35:57,160 Speaker 1: real time while his boss is yelling at him. 707 00:35:57,239 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 3: For real. 708 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,160 Speaker 1: It's been almost ninety minutes since, and honestly, I'm panicking, 709 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 1: bru get back to your Yeah, I have no clue 710 00:36:05,080 --> 00:36:07,120 Speaker 1: what to do right now. Do I submit the entire 711 00:36:07,239 --> 00:36:10,040 Speaker 1: file now to Jim for his signature, completed top to 712 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:14,879 Speaker 1: bottom and own my dishonest action or submit one doc 713 00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,759 Speaker 1: every thirty minutes to seem like it all went out 714 00:36:17,800 --> 00:36:21,439 Speaker 1: today to get it completed by two pm. Man, wow, 715 00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:23,920 Speaker 1: and there is an updates. Oh wait, there's an updates 716 00:36:23,960 --> 00:36:26,160 Speaker 1: so we get to see what happened. Yes, I took 717 00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:29,160 Speaker 1: the wise advice from many of you and submitted everything 718 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,880 Speaker 1: with an apology. So he basically decided to blow his 719 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,440 Speaker 1: cover for his lax work style. Jim called me back 720 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:39,960 Speaker 1: into his office a few minutes after submitting and I 721 00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:43,160 Speaker 1: explained how I lost track of time. He signed everything 722 00:36:43,360 --> 00:36:45,920 Speaker 1: and let me leave with a handshake. Thank you for 723 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,560 Speaker 1: all the assistants, as I would have just continued panicking. 724 00:36:48,920 --> 00:36:51,879 Speaker 1: Came here to bench, but got a lot of useful advice. Wow, 725 00:36:52,040 --> 00:36:53,800 Speaker 1: they literally gave him the solution. 726 00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:58,200 Speaker 3: That's amazing. That's amazing. Shout out to Reddit for actually 727 00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,480 Speaker 3: helping with life advice. 728 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 1: That's and that's so crazy, Like literally in real time, 729 00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,719 Speaker 1: people came together and he's like, you know what, I'm 730 00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:05,560 Speaker 1: gonna do it this way. 731 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,840 Speaker 2: Thanks guys. Wow, that's pretty I'm going to do that 732 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:08,640 Speaker 2: next time. I want to. 733 00:37:08,719 --> 00:37:11,839 Speaker 1: He read it for helping us solve our life problems. 734 00:37:12,040 --> 00:37:14,680 Speaker 1: But you know what else, can solve your life problems. Ooh, 735 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:19,040 Speaker 1: subscribing to okay Opy, subscribe on YouTube, follow us and 736 00:37:19,080 --> 00:37:21,120 Speaker 1: Spotify and TikTok. If you want to be a real one, 737 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,400 Speaker 1: support us on Patreon because you get to talk to 738 00:37:23,520 --> 00:37:27,160 Speaker 1: us on our discord channel. Yeah, you do, join the family. 739 00:37:27,360 --> 00:37:32,080 Speaker 1: Casey's you, Neforious, Devien Muhammad, Amanda Wilcombs, Connor Desiree, Keegan Simmons, 740 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:33,800 Speaker 1: and Kathy Quigley. 741 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:34,440 Speaker 3: See us soon.