Speaker 1: I have to give credit where credit is due. Dave
Speaker 1: Portnoy did his podcast with Breonna chicken Fry and Josh.
Speaker 2: Richards, and he talked about his breakup.
Speaker 1: He was extremely respectful to his ex girlfriend, which I appreciate.
Speaker 1: It sounded completely authentic and genuine. His description of being
Speaker 1: at that crossroads where a woman is young and likely
Speaker 1: wants a certain path for her life, so she probably
Speaker 1: wanted something.
Speaker 2: He couldn't give it to her.
Speaker 1: They made that decision, and I honor that conversation and
Speaker 1: that he did not say anything negative or untoward about her.
Speaker 2: When then he.
Speaker 1: Brought up the Rachel situation, and he was unapologetic, but
Speaker 1: he did not bring up the negative comment that he
Speaker 1: had made. He did not say the term because I
Speaker 1: know that he knows that that was not the best
Speaker 1: I know that he's not in the business of apologizing,
Speaker 1: but I can tell that he seemed like it wasn't
Speaker 1: something he necessarily needed to say. And then his co
Speaker 1: host Brianna chicken Fry, she called Rachel a scumbag. So
Speaker 1: that was like another random shot, ironically fired not by
Speaker 1: him but by the woman in the room. So it's
Speaker 1: interesting because Rachel is not defined by her actions, editing,
Speaker 1: and the circumstances on vander Pump rules, so.
Speaker 2: Food for thought.
Speaker 1: But I if I'm gonna say, if I'm gonna call
Speaker 1: someone out for doing something, then I'm also gonna.
Speaker 2: Give them credit when they He was softer.
Speaker 1: He was softer, he was respectful to his own ex
Speaker 1: and he did not double down.
Speaker 2: And he's a double downer.
Speaker 1: He's a person who would come in and double down
Speaker 1: on not only trashing Rachel, but he didn't trash me
Speaker 1: because I didn't trash him either. There's a way to
Speaker 1: have a public forum and discussion about something. He referenced
Speaker 1: that I had texted him. I think he even shared
Speaker 1: the text someone said, which is a code that I
Speaker 1: don't break. I don't love that he shared my texts
Speaker 1: because that's something that I don't break. But ultimately, he's
Speaker 1: a person who goes for the jugular and he did
Speaker 1: not go for my jugular, nor did I go for his.
Speaker 1: Which illustrates that you can have a healthy debate on
Speaker 1: a topic in twenty twenty three without going to the
Speaker 1: mattresses and just trashing each other. That's such low hanging
Speaker 1: fruit clickbait twenty twenty three fodder and I've posted about
Speaker 1: this on TikTok twice for a very brief period because
Speaker 1: I prefer to talk about matters like this here in
Speaker 1: a longer format.
Speaker 2: And what happens is on TikTok, you.
Speaker 1: Put it up and take it down, and then everybody
Speaker 1: starts talking about that, and they come to this podcast
Speaker 1: to listen to my opinion on the topic. This brings
Speaker 1: me to the topic of relationships and integrity in communicating
Speaker 1: to your partner expectations. And I think that Dave Portnoy
Speaker 1: was in a relationship with a woman who's young and
Speaker 1: beautiful for three years. He probably fell madly in love
Speaker 1: with her. He's just bought his company back, and alluding
Speaker 1: to the fact that it's a very very stressful time
Speaker 1: and he gets immersed and caught up in business. He
Speaker 1: probably we can't deal with a conversation about a life
Speaker 1: partner or getting married and having kids, and he knows
Speaker 1: somewhere in his gut that he's not going to go
Speaker 1: the distance in that way with this relationship. And I
Speaker 1: had him on my podcast and we might have taken
Speaker 1: it out, but he said that he didn't want to
Speaker 1: have kids or know if he wanted to have kids.
Speaker 1: He didn't know if he wanted to get married again.
Speaker 1: So Sylvana seems like a person who wanted to get married.
Speaker 2: And I'm sure in the beginning.
Speaker 1: He thought he might want that too, because everything's great
Speaker 1: in the beginning when it's got the new car smell,
Speaker 1: and then you get into life and reality, and some
Speaker 1: people just can't deal and some people are not built
Speaker 1: for long term relationships. And I do think it's true
Speaker 1: that a person has to just say to the other person,
Speaker 1: I don't think I can give you what you need.
Speaker 1: It's like a business, it's like a partnership. This is
Speaker 1: what I expect from the partnership. This is what I
Speaker 1: need from you as a partner. And it's a two
Speaker 1: way street. And she probably this is what I need,
Speaker 1: this is what I want, and he probably said, this
Speaker 1: is what I can give, and this is what I
Speaker 1: want and don't want. So we don't align, we don't
Speaker 1: meet up in this partnership. I can't give you the partnership.
Speaker 2: That you need.
Speaker 1: It's really important that in business and in relationships people
Speaker 1: say what they want and need in the beginning, because
Speaker 1: as you fall in love, you think you're willing to
Speaker 1: compromise on many things. They could be having kids, they
Speaker 1: could be religion, they could be where you want to live.
Speaker 1: But once you've been with someone for a long time
Speaker 1: and you're in the nitty gritty and you've had a
Speaker 1: stuffy nose around them, and you've been grouchy or hungover
Speaker 1: or in sweats or had your period around them, and
Speaker 1: the new car smell is off, the new car smell
Speaker 1: is gone, that's when you start to think about, wait
Speaker 1: a second, do I really want to live here? Do
Speaker 1: I really want to do this? Do I really want
Speaker 1: to not have kids? Seemed fine in the beginning, but
Speaker 1: now it doesn't seem as fine. People can change their
Speaker 1: mind too, and you have to reconnect and reset. Howard
Speaker 1: Stern got together with Beth Ostroski and told her point
Speaker 1: blank from the very beginning he was never having more kids.
Speaker 1: And she has gotten very into animals as her children.
Speaker 1: And she has obviously accepted that and built a life
Speaker 1: because she wanted her life partner and sacrificed that part
Speaker 1: of it. I've heard other people doing the same thing,
Speaker 1: that the life partner is more important than the kids.
Speaker 1: So you have to make that decision for yourself. And
Speaker 1: it sounds like Dave and Sivana did. The point is
Speaker 1: you always have to be communicating your wants, your needs,
Speaker 1: your expectations, and at different points in relationships they will
Speaker 1: change and people will evolve or grow in different directions
Speaker 1: or have circumstances that affect a relationship, a death, a bankruptcy,
Speaker 1: something stressful in business, and then you reassess where you
Speaker 1: are in your life and decide if you're on the
Speaker 1: same page with your partner.
Speaker 2: It's very hard to do.
Speaker 1: And he said he was stealing her youth, which is
Speaker 1: interesting because for many women they get into relationships and
Speaker 1: he's a wealthy, older man and that was probably fun.
Speaker 1: And he took her all over the world and he
Speaker 1: bought her presents and cars, and she lived the life.
Speaker 1: But does she want to do that for the next
Speaker 1: thirty years without a child for herself, or a ring
Speaker 1: on her finger, or the wedding that she wants or
Speaker 1: the life that she dreamed of. There are sacrifices, and
Speaker 1: at her age, you don't see it the same way
Speaker 1: as someone my age sees it, where just being in
Speaker 1: a partnership and having peace in your life is extremely valuable.
Speaker 1: My daughter is my entire life. That's not something I
Speaker 1: would ever have been able to sacrifice. I would never
Speaker 1: have been able to choose the relationship for being a
Speaker 1: parent to my daughter.
Speaker 2: So you have to make those choices.
Speaker 1: I once asked a bunch of people at my talk show,
Speaker 1: would you prefer to find your life partner or have
Speaker 1: a kid? You can only have one, and they all
Speaker 1: said life partner. And for me, because of my past
Speaker 1: and my life with my childhood, my number one need
Speaker 1: in my life was to break the circle, break the chain,
Speaker 1: and have my daughter in it in order to attempt
Speaker 1: to heal old wounds in my life places of wounding.
Speaker 1: I needed to be a mother to my daughter and
Speaker 1: break the chain and not give her the childhood that
Speaker 1: I had.
Speaker 2: That's something that I had to do.