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Speaker 1: Lisa Lampanelli is not a licensed therapist or life coach.

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Speaker 1: She is a meddling advice giving yana and know it all,

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Speaker 1: and her words come from her head, her heart, and

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Speaker 1: often out of her ass. His podcast should not be

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Speaker 1: misconstrued as therapy. I should be taking with a huge

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Speaker 1: grain of salt for entertainment purposes.

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Speaker 2: Only these You need help, you're the problems.

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Speaker 3: Come on, come on, lamb, take a pill. I think

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Speaker 3: you're insane.

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Speaker 4: Do what I said, dumb ass.

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Speaker 5: Listen to me.

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Speaker 6: You what's the thing he says with William, that's like

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Speaker 6: a sex noise right when I'm like fakes and sex noises.

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Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever done it correctly.

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Speaker 5: I can see you just going deep on purpose.

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Speaker 2: And then throw up on a cock. Is this sing on?

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Speaker 2: Are we recording? Like hold their penis and just go

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Speaker 2: tap on it?

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Speaker 5: Is this thing recording?

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Speaker 2: Let's change this podcast into like a sex advice podcast,

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Speaker 2: like I don't know anything about it, you know barely anything.

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Speaker 2: Let me show I don't know what happened, I don't

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Speaker 2: know what what's making it? To Aaron, what isn't this

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Speaker 2: is Lizapinelli, Welcome.

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Speaker 6: To a many tiny Penis episode.

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Speaker 2: I shrink this to tide you over to season two

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Speaker 2: from yours in January. Hi, everybody with me is Nick

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Speaker 2: Scopaletti with his tit is out.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, you know what it is, baby, Follow me on

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Speaker 5: Nick on Instagram, TikTok, send me pictures of your dicks

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Speaker 5: and you tits.

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Speaker 2: This is gonna be one of those ex rated ones.

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Speaker 2: And also I'm much suffering, long suffering, much maligned, but

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Speaker 2: fitter every minute, thank God, because fat is ugly. Celia Romano,

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Speaker 2: who could be found at wait, I'll be Celia, ask me,

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Speaker 2: Ask me what my Instagram is. What's your Instagram's Celia underscore.

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Speaker 5: Underscore?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's two fucking underscores because the other underscore, the

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Speaker 2: one with one was taken.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, she has a blue check mark that Celia.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, like the real producer. Yeah yeah yeah, Hi Celia.

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Speaker 4: Hi see.

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Speaker 2: Romano. Yeah, I can't believe we had three whops in

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Speaker 2: the waiting.

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Speaker 5: I know, all italianmare listen.

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Speaker 2: You wouldn't know what's great about this podcast other than

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Speaker 2: nothing is the fact that every time I listen to

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Speaker 2: it to approve things, I start laughing. So if it's

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Speaker 2: just for me, that's all that counts. I don't care

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Speaker 2: about you listeners. I don't care about that one listener, everybody.

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Speaker 5: But we're back.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna revisit our previous episodes and do some letters.

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Speaker 2: Are Yeah, we're doing letters. God, I know. Celia's like

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Speaker 2: I I forgot about them, and I'm glad I did.

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Speaker 5: We tried to get it all out on the road,

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Speaker 5: didn't It didn't work.

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Speaker 2: So have we been replaced by a podcast? You like

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Speaker 2: better at iHeart Lately?

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Speaker 4: No?

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Speaker 2: Are you a producer of another podcast?

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Speaker 4: The producer of many?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 5: I don't like.

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Speaker 2: I kind of like think she's like holding it over

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Speaker 2: our head, like like that you do better than us?

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Speaker 4: Wait, no, will do better than me?

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Speaker 5: No, you're right?

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Speaker 2: Wait no we do well? Yeah, yeah for you two

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Speaker 2: are evenly matched, especially.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, except for the fact that there is a fourteen

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Speaker 4: year difference between.

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Speaker 2: Guns. So what yeah you Celia getting cut out?

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Speaker 4: All right?

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Speaker 2: So the episode we're going to revisit it is the

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Speaker 2: one that was about traditions, the gift that keeps on guilty.

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Speaker 2: And this is an appropriate one because it's Thanksgiving this week,

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Speaker 2: and that is a very traditional time for people who

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Speaker 2: who who celebrate when the pilgrims came over and the

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Speaker 2: engines as they call them, help them harvest and shared

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Speaker 2: with them, only to be slaughtered by the dirty, dirty pilgrims.

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Speaker 2: Then we celebrate this slaughter every Thanksgiving Day, Celia, how

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Speaker 2: are you celebrating this year?

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Speaker 4: I'm getting blocked out with my friends, Okay on Blackout Wednesday.

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Speaker 4: Do you'll know what that is?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: We do, Like we were born at a time that

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Speaker 2: they did blackouts.

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Speaker 4: I didn't say, do you know what a blackout it is?

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Speaker 2: Because du no, when you get blackout drunk because it's

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Speaker 2: the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and.

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Speaker 4: You go to your hometown bar and like, my favorite

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Speaker 4: it is.

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Speaker 2: We used to go to a place in Fairfield, Connecticut

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Speaker 2: called the Sea Grape, which I, of course affectionately referred

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Speaker 2: to as the Sea Rape because I would say a

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Speaker 2: pool table there has had a little Jodie Foster action

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Speaker 2: no offensive Sea Grape out their copyright Fairfield, Connecticut. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I never liked that holiday because I was never much

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Speaker 2: of a boozer. But you're gonna do that. You can

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Speaker 2: do it in New Orleans.

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Speaker 4: Every year and without fail, it's like my favorite day

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Speaker 4: of the year.

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Speaker 2: Do you end up hungover the next day. Yes, okay,

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Speaker 2: sounds fun.

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Speaker 5: The name of the bar in Louisiana.

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Speaker 4: Well we go, we do like kind of a bar

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Speaker 4: hopping situation. So F and M's is like the most

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Speaker 4: famous F and Ms.

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Speaker 5: Then we go to clear old jazz.

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Speaker 4: No, no, you're close. Labon Thomps.

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Speaker 5: Oh yeah, i'd.

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Speaker 4: Because you know, Labon Thomps means let the good times roll,

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Speaker 4: and that's like our that's like our slogan thing in

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Speaker 4: New Orleans. And so there's a bar called Labon Thomps

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Speaker 4: and they have jazz bands play at like eleven pm.

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Speaker 2: You want my slogan's going to be, let's steal you

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Speaker 2: talk less. I'm bored, so no, no, no getting blackout

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Speaker 2: drunk and just it's a good thing that no one

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Speaker 2: in your family loves you enough to invite you to dinner.

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's what the gods of the universe want

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Speaker 2: this year for you.

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Speaker 4: I can indulge in my own hangover the next day, correct,

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Speaker 4: and then go see my friends at night.

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Speaker 2: Will you watch the parade and cry a little bit?

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Speaker 5: No?

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Speaker 4: Because I went one year as a child, really really young,

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Speaker 4: and I hated it really Yeah, my jacket got stolen.

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Speaker 2: Oh this is getting worse. I mean, I mean more

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Speaker 2: boring to me.

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Speaker 5: I also have to sell your jacket for drugs.

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Speaker 2: Wait, I was gonna say this parade this year is

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Speaker 2: going to be great because there's a Nick balloon. Oh wait,

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Speaker 2: it's just him. Okay, so Nick, speaking of traditions, let's

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Speaker 2: revisit some letters from that episode or for the first time.

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Speaker 2: Go please?

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Speaker 5: All right, you guys, ready, all right? Ever since college,

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Speaker 5: my fraternity brothers have annual have any annual guys weekend

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Speaker 5: where we rape each other. Ever since college, my thirty

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Speaker 5: brothers have had an annuals guys weekend where we go

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Speaker 5: skiing and then get really drunk.

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Speaker 2: Oh you know, want to blackout it? Okay, d you

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Speaker 2: know there was a blackout when we were skiing. They

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Speaker 2: caught him and put them back in jail, like literally

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Speaker 2: what those frat guys on the slopes will say. And

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Speaker 2: they also use slopes as an Asian slur, which I

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Speaker 2: do not approve of. So I'm just saying, there are

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Speaker 2: a bunch of racists going skiing fraternity brothers.

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Speaker 5: Okay, sounds fun. The past few years have been much

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Speaker 5: more tame because a few of the guys quit drinking,

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Speaker 5: makes sense. Got to mention became gluten free?

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Speaker 2: Ding ding ding. We have a loser.

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Speaker 5: I missed the animal house trips. Should I only invite

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Speaker 5: the guys that throw down and keep the good memories alive?

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna read it like that. Should I only invite

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Speaker 5: the guys that throw down and keep the good memories alive? Thanks?

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Speaker 5: Jack Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

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Speaker 2: Harasurg, Pennsylvania, birthplace of Jack the Douchecock. Listen, let me

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Speaker 2: tell you about this guy.

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Speaker 5: Jack, grow up.

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Speaker 2: Someday things have to change. I'm not saying you should

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Speaker 2: go as extreme as become friends with someone who's gluten free.

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Speaker 2: I say those people should be cut out of one's

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Speaker 2: life forever. I don't approve of these fake allergies. I've

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Speaker 2: said before, if you have celiac, you don't have to

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Speaker 2: eat gluten, but if you use it as a little

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Speaker 2: excuse for your wellness or your dietary tips like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: kill those two guys and don't invite them, but don't

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Speaker 2: not invite the guys who are sober because they're still

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Speaker 2: your friends. It sounds like he just wants to live

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Speaker 2: in the past. And by the way, once your balls

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Speaker 2: start sagging and start getting gray hair and bald and tits.

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Speaker 2: Like Nick, you realize life is okay as you get older.

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Speaker 2: You just gotta let yourself grow up.

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Speaker 5: Dude. What Yeah? As I was reading this, I was like, Oh,

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Speaker 5: this guy probably just sucks.

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Speaker 4: Dude.

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Speaker 5: I want to invite the guys that don't drink. Dude.

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Speaker 5: Everyone's gonna grow up and it's not gonna be like

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Speaker 5: college forever. They're gonna get married and have kids. Then

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Speaker 5: no one's coming to fucking anything.

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Speaker 2: And no one's drinking except at the wedding, right and

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Speaker 2: possibly the christening because those you gotta get wasted because

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Speaker 2: that kid's birthday party is good because they fall in

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Speaker 2: the pool and drown.

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Speaker 5: Yeah that's the point.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you gotta lose those kids at something point.

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Speaker 2: But she's here, Well, she's a little water on the

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Speaker 2: brain for her. She knew she had therapy yesterday, going

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Speaker 2: they're gonna make fun of me. I really want some

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Speaker 2: tools to like learn how to deal with it because

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Speaker 2: it is kind of a comedy show, right am I correct?

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Speaker 4: Well, I have talked to my therapist about it, and

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Speaker 4: because she listened to it and and she was like,

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Speaker 4: I don't really like the way that you're being treated.

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Speaker 2: Fuck you lady, are you including freez?

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Speaker 4: And I was defending you. I was like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 4: like this is like her humor and I'm kind of

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Speaker 4: me he's just as mean, he's worse. Oh yeah, I

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Speaker 4: just meant like, you're why but throw me under the bus. No,

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Speaker 4: I didn't.

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Speaker 2: She you're not invited to our skiing racist again. You

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Speaker 2: are not gonna go out and hit the slopes.

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Speaker 4: I've been silent for the past six minutes. Silence, and we.

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Speaker 2: Liked it that way.

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Speaker 5: Okay, raised, and now they're slowly going back.

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Speaker 2: Wait, no, so your drink things were too mean to you?

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Speaker 4: Well, she was just like, I have to say, there

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Speaker 4: were some things I didn't like.

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Speaker 2: Maybe she's a bitch. Maybe she don't get humor. You know,

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Speaker 2: they don't get humor. I don't know how cool my

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Speaker 2: shrink is. She says, beat up Celia more. She loves

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Speaker 2: my humor, she enjoys it. She wants to see clips.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, she can't see them cause no, But I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: your shrink's a pussy. Yeah yeah, and she's probably not

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Speaker 2: doing a great job at as you're saying from evidence

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Speaker 2: by how you are going to give you a shrink,

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Speaker 2: So maybe we got to give you somebody else.

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Speaker 4: Imagine if I didn't have one at all.

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Speaker 2: That's true. Okay, thank you to the tight ass bitch

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Speaker 2: that you see, Doctor Kuhnt. It's her name, doctor kunt

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Speaker 2: No it's not. Okay, yes it is.

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Speaker 5: I hope she goes on a ski trip and fucking

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Speaker 5: one of these guys bangs are in the fucking in

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Speaker 5: the ski slope, in the slope.

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Speaker 2: How about this banger in her slope? How about hows

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Speaker 2: Celia had to defend Ustairs. I will never get over it.

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Speaker 5: I did.

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Speaker 2: I didn't like some of the things.

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Speaker 5: You should have grew up in the Northeast. It would

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Speaker 5: have been tougher.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you puss these in New Orleans. Tell me this,

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Speaker 2: what did she take exception to?

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Speaker 4: What does that mean?

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Speaker 2: Sorry? What didn't she like that? We said, I don't know.

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Speaker 4: She didn't tell me specifically. She just like she was

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Speaker 4: just like, oh, I just didn't like some of like

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Speaker 4: some of the way that they traded you. And I

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Speaker 4: was like, no, no, it's like a running joke, like

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Speaker 4: I get beat up.

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Speaker 2: But why did she listen? If she's such a humorless

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Speaker 2: clam oh, okay, because I because you sent it like

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Speaker 2: a dumb twice.

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Speaker 4: Well. No, I was trying to tell her. I was

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Speaker 4: telling her about my situation when that was going on

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Speaker 4: in the Fixing Celia episode, and I was just like,

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Speaker 4: I think this would kind of help you get a

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Speaker 4: different perspective than just me, you know, listen to this

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Speaker 4: and that'll help.

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Speaker 2: But here's what sucks about her even more. She didn't

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Speaker 2: see how helpful and fantastic wee oh, but.

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Speaker 5: Yet she gets to criticize. This is what I don't like.

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Speaker 6: You take all of Lisa none.

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Speaker 4: You don't get it all again. You see what you write.

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Speaker 5: You take her and the houses and the sneaky big

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Speaker 5: pits and thank you. Yes, I have a mother.

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Speaker 2: People can't pick and choose what they like about you.

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Speaker 2: They ticked the whole package. So you tell her from me.

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Speaker 2: She wants to get on that fucking phone. We threw

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Speaker 2: it down, which is not really true, because I would

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Speaker 2: like Cavin still because she's a shrink. I would be like,

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Speaker 2: you know, you're right, you know this is okaywhere and

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Speaker 2: we won't say anything again?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, is jack grow the fuck up?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, look back to jack Off.

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Speaker 5: I could pussy. No, Well, no one wants to drink anymore, do.

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Speaker 2: You, Nicko? Because you have guy friends from college and

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Speaker 2: high school, did you have where you tried because you're

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Speaker 2: the only single one now, did you try to hold

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Speaker 2: fast to some of those traditions. I know you didn't

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Speaker 2: have the ski slope bullshit, but like, did you go, oh,

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Speaker 2: it's weird now they have kids and we're not doing

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Speaker 2: the same kind of stuff.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I just kind of I kind of saw the writing.

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Speaker 5: I'll say this, I saw the writing on the wall

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Speaker 5: because my buddies are with their now wives. They were

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Speaker 5: with them like my senior year of college, so like

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Speaker 5: it was winter when I remember it was winter break,

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Speaker 5: right before my last semester of my senior year, and

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Speaker 5: I didn't really see them much and they were hit

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Speaker 5: with these girls at the time, girls all the time. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: and I was like, they're going to marry these girls.

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Speaker 5: This is probably things are going to start to change.

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Speaker 2: So you saw the writing on the wall.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And like dude, and I had my like I

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Speaker 5: had my single friends that I went out with, and

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Speaker 5: like they were in a different and we all hung

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Speaker 5: out on occasion, like they came out, but like, yeah, no,

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Speaker 5: I I no, because they were such good friends. I

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Speaker 5: wasn't like, oh remember.

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Speaker 2: Because you I know, like they take you out for

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Speaker 2: your birthday and stuff and you go to a steakhouse

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Speaker 2: and have a cigar and so it's like it's an

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Speaker 2: elevated and changed thing, but it's still the same people

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Speaker 2: and still the good times and memories. If you don't

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Speaker 2: evolve at all, I mean, it's really ugly and suddenly

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Speaker 2: you're bragging about going out on Blackout Wednesday in New Orleans.

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Speaker 5: We did have a friend that was like all nostalgic

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Speaker 5: and gave.

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Speaker 2: Us that mean, mean angry emoji face.

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Speaker 5: I'm gonna fuck her.

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Speaker 2: They're sexually harassing you. Yeah, ug you and he's gonna

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Speaker 2: have sex with you? What be the opposite?

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Speaker 5: But I actually tell you a quick story. Uh, we

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Speaker 5: used to go out the night before Thanksgiving all the time,

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Speaker 5: Like no, practically, oh yeah, I'll tell you this story.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 5: We went out for a good I mean, you know

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Speaker 5: from eighteen to probably were like twenty six, twenty seven, right,

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Speaker 5: that's just but ever you go to the bar, Well,

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Speaker 5: I loved it. Every year. I was like, this is

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Speaker 5: the most fun night of the year that in New

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Speaker 5: Year's I loved right. There's one year we were probably

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Speaker 5: twenty seven and maybe we're at the bar. We're doing

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Speaker 5: it right. Everyone's going around, we're talking to each other.

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Speaker 5: We see everyone we ever fucking knew, our football coaches

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Speaker 5: from high school are there. It's like everyone you've ever

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Speaker 5: known in your whole life. And then my group of

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Speaker 5: friends was like eight of us. We just like looked

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Speaker 5: at each other about an hour in and we were like,

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Speaker 5: you guys want to go to the diner? Yes, And

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Speaker 5: we went to the diner and then we never did

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Speaker 5: that shit again.

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Speaker 2: Happened to me when I was twenty eight or twenty nine.

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Speaker 2: I was working at Rolling Stone and you'd get a

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Speaker 2: lot of free tickets, and I remember once sitting there

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Speaker 2: watching ac DC and Angus Young was probably like fifty

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Speaker 2: or sixty years old, looking elderly in those little schoolboy

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Speaker 2: shorts that he wears and stuff, and I go, I'm

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Speaker 2: too old to be watching Angus Young think he's young.

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Speaker 2: I was like, never, I'm never going to a concert

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Speaker 2: like this again, like a heavy metal show and a

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Speaker 2: big arena or something. So we all have to grow up.

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Speaker 2: So Jack, what's the name Jack? Mayhoff, Jack me.

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Speaker 5: Off, Jack gave for pay.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he needs to just go uh figure out why

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Speaker 2: he needs to hold onto the past so much. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and just go gluten free while you're at it. Yeah.

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Speaker 5: I also want to know how old this. This triggers

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Speaker 5: me because I want to know how old he is

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Speaker 5: because those guys at parties when I used to go,

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Speaker 5: even in my late twenties. You go to a house

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Speaker 5: party and people are you're not drinking, I'd be like, oh,

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Speaker 5: what are we at the Rugby house? Are you gonna

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Speaker 5: pressure me?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Shut the fuck up, dude.

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Speaker 2: They would stick a beer bottle like up your asshole.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, well that makes me come But like, besides.

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Speaker 2: That, this episode has been called what Not to Play

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Speaker 2: to Celia's Shrink because you would hate this one. Now

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Speaker 2: we'll be back next week maybe if the therapist says

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Speaker 2: it's okay? Nick? Where can people listen?

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Speaker 4: Hey?

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Speaker 5: Baby, know what it is? You can listen on Oh,

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Speaker 5: you can listen to this show. If you guys want

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Speaker 5: to write in, you can email us at Shrink this

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Speaker 5: show at gmail dot com. Okay, and if you want

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Speaker 5: to listen to us, which I know you do, clam,

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Speaker 5: you could find us on your iHeartRadio app or wherever

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Speaker 5: the hell you get podcasts.

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Speaker 2: Okay, I heard app.

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Speaker 5: You better be iHeart app. Dude in Harrisburg, Quill