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Speaker 1: Ooh, summer Hampton's towns. Summer towns, it's a battle. People fight,

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Speaker 1: people are competitive. This is better and I like that better.

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Speaker 1: And oh that's not that it's so crowded. It's gotten

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Speaker 1: so this has gotten. So that. Let me break it

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Speaker 1: down because I have visited many, many summer towns that

6
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Speaker 1: are popular. Okay, people like to go to like the mountains, yes,

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Speaker 1: Upstate New York, et cetera.

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Speaker 2: But I'm talking like.

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Speaker 1: Aspen, Montana, Jackson Hole, et cetera. So that's a very green, vibrant,

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Speaker 1: active way to go. Like that's where you go through

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Speaker 1: all like colorful hot air balloons and white water rafting

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Speaker 1: and canoeing and biking and hiking and being outdoors. You

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Speaker 1: are fit, you like bug spray, you need SPF, you're natural,

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Speaker 1: You've eaten a cliff bar, you have wicking fabric, like

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Speaker 1: you are into nature and the outdoors. Even Aspen, which

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Speaker 1: is bougie and can be douchey, Like, it's very active.

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Speaker 1: It's very green and it comes alive and it's like

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Speaker 1: summer festivals.

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Speaker 2: And all that kind of stuff. I like it.

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Speaker 1: But I'm a winter ass person because I like snowboarding

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Speaker 1: and i don't need. I like to be near us.

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Speaker 1: I need to be near a coast. I need to

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Speaker 1: be near the ocean. I need to feel the sea

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Speaker 1: and the saltwater. Okay, so I'm partial to that. Other

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Speaker 1: people want the lake, other people want other things, the Arizona,

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Speaker 1: whatever you want, that's for me. So on the East coast,

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Speaker 1: all the sort of ocean seaside towns, it's like you

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Speaker 1: could be New England and you could do Rhode Island,

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Speaker 1: Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard or Nantucket. There's a battle between

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Speaker 1: Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket. It's sort of like ucla USC.

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Speaker 1: There's a battle between the Nantucket and the Hamptons. Martha's

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Speaker 1: Vineyard has more towns. There are more different towns and

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Speaker 1: more like socioeconomic differences, and more locals seem to be

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Speaker 1: in Martha's Vineyard, and it's just more varied and it's beautiful.

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Speaker 2: They're both beautiful places. It's just bigger.

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Speaker 1: So if you want more going on, Martha's Vineyard has

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Speaker 1: more going on, but it's still very provincial and very

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Speaker 1: small compared to the Hamptons. There's a charm. If you've

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Speaker 1: been going there your whole life, you like it. It's

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Speaker 1: like you can't you know. It's like a biza, I

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Speaker 1: guess in Spain or like Italy.

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Speaker 2: Some people love Abiza.

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Speaker 1: I don't think it's physically as pretty as France or Italy,

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Speaker 1: but it's like what you know. But for sure, Martha's

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Speaker 1: Vineyard has more going on. The Nantucket has nothing close

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Speaker 1: to as much going on as the Hamptons, and all

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Speaker 1: the New England places are more like sort of provincial

48
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Speaker 1: and not bougie. They're like a caricature, but there's a

49
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Speaker 1: lot of money in these places. But it's sort of

50
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Speaker 1: more like hokey, cutesy. Nantucket is like a one trick pony.

51
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Speaker 1: You go three days, you did it. You understand what

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Speaker 1: it is. You understand the island, the food, the drinks,

53
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Speaker 1: the places of the people. There are ancillary towns, but

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Speaker 1: there's one main town. It is packed to the rafters

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Speaker 1: like it is packed, packed, packed, and if you go

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Speaker 1: there you'll know every single person. And if you've been there,

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Speaker 1: you'll know every single person. And it's cute. But I

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Speaker 1: feel that like you do it and you're done, Like

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Speaker 1: I get it's the same.

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Speaker 2: It's groundhob day. It's groundhob Day.

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Speaker 1: Everybody's dressed the same, everyone's doing the same things, eating

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Speaker 1: the same foods, and it's adorable and it's pretty. And

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Speaker 1: people who visit there are like costplaying it, like they're

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Speaker 1: wearing an Antucket costume with the Nantucket basketbag, which I

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Speaker 1: love and I have, with the sweater over the shoulders,

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Speaker 1: with the lily pulitzer, with the plaid, like with the

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Speaker 1: little basket on your bicycle. You're sort of like costplaying waspy,

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Speaker 1: rich and white, like really really the whitest of the

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Speaker 1: whitest place in the world. It's like is Nantucket. Then

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Speaker 1: you get to the Cape and people are battling even

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Speaker 1: within the Cape. Is it Chatham? Is it Osterville? Is

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Speaker 1: it mash Bee? The Cape, it's all very similar. There's

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Speaker 1: nothing going on there, like there's not a lot going on.

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Speaker 1: There are very few stores and qt restaurants. You better

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Speaker 1: be into those like baked clams or the cohogs I

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Speaker 1: think it's called, and you better be into oysters, and

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Speaker 1: you better be into the people that you're hanging out with,

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Speaker 1: because it's not a ton of options of people and

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Speaker 1: things to do. They'll kill me, but it's true, like

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Speaker 1: you're sailing it's water. The thing about the New England

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Speaker 1: water in Rhode Island, in Cape Cod, in Nantucket and

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Speaker 1: Martha's Vineyard, it's very cold and it's a very brief season,

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Speaker 1: so it's very summer like you're kind of parts of

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Speaker 1: July and August, and that's a wrap. You're not really

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Speaker 1: swimming in May, and you're not swimming in September, okay,

86
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Speaker 1: and there are fucking sharks in the water there. So beautiful,

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Speaker 1: beautiful places. Definitely getting more modernized and more options, but

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Speaker 1: not as many options as the Hamptons. Rhode Island again

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Speaker 1: like beautiful place and beautiful houses and good enough for

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Speaker 1: tailor swift and the ocean house and beautiful, but like

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Speaker 1: it can get if you're used to action and you

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Speaker 1: want any version of action, they can get boring you

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Speaker 1: just like you did it. It's good to visit for

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Speaker 1: the weekend, but if you're gonna be there for a

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Speaker 1: whole summer or buy a house or rent a house,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna kind of want to be just with your

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Speaker 1: friends and like the same, like that same, like Groundhog Day,

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Speaker 1: Provincial every day being the same, get your coffee at

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Speaker 1: the same place, the whole cutesiness and the costplaying of

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Speaker 1: the wasp Pinis and the sunflowers and beautiful beautiful places,

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Speaker 1: just quiet and eat, pray, love every day and then like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the Outer Banks is like. I

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Speaker 1: don't know what it's like in the Carolinas. I'm very intrigued.

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Speaker 2: I love to know. I don't know what the Ozarks

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Speaker 2: is like.

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Speaker 1: I don't know what the I know what actually Lake

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Speaker 1: Powell is like.

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Speaker 2: Lake Powell is like another planet.

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Speaker 1: People are on houseboats the whole summer and when you're

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Speaker 1: in the water there, it's like you're in Star Wars.

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Speaker 1: Like it's like you're not in this world. It just

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Speaker 1: you look up in the sky and you feel like

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Speaker 1: you're in Star Wars. It's the stars are incredible, the

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Speaker 1: rocks are incredible. It's wild. But for me, it's not

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Speaker 1: an ocean, and so a lake is not the same

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Speaker 1: to me. It just doesn't land for me the same way.

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Speaker 1: Even in Italy, Lake Como doesn't land like the sea.

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Speaker 1: It's just who I am. I like a certain type

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Speaker 1: of water that is me. I don't know what it's

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Speaker 1: like to be in Michigan on a boat. I've heard

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Speaker 1: there are places in Michigan that are so stunning that

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't believe you were in Michigan, like the most

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Speaker 1: beautiful places in the world, Like where there are sand

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Speaker 1: beaches in Michigan.

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Speaker 2: I've never seen it. I don't know about it.

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Speaker 1: People go to Muskoka in Canada and they're obsessed with it.

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Speaker 2: It's lake life and it's very community.

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Speaker 1: But like I have a best friend who loves going

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Speaker 1: up to the lake and it's like boggy, and it's

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Speaker 1: also ticky, and it's more like it's laky, and people

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Speaker 1: like to bring their little boat to the other person's house,

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Speaker 1: and it's that sort of never put on shoes and

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Speaker 1: Fire Island. Fire Island is like never put on shoes,

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Speaker 1: you don't have a car.

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Speaker 2: Like I like it. I get the charm.

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Speaker 1: I get it as a homebody, as a person who

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Speaker 1: never wants to leave the house. If I do leave

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Speaker 1: the house, I want there to be some action. That's

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Speaker 1: why I'm always gravitating towards action. Places that are very

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Speaker 1: bougie and like sort of more bullshitty than I am.

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Speaker 2: But like I like being near action.

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Speaker 1: San Trope, Saint Bart's, aspin the Hampton's, like I want

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Speaker 1: to be near the action, because if I'm somewhere and

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Speaker 1: I'm already going to be home ninety nine point nine

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Speaker 1: percent of the time that point one. I want to

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Speaker 1: go out and I want to see something, do something,

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Speaker 1: buy something, eat something, feel something. I want to be

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Speaker 1: near the act. So if I'm in like a very

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Speaker 1: sort of low energy, very closes early, very boring kind

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Speaker 1: of place, I'll die on the vine.

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Speaker 2: So I didn't do well in Greenwich, the no action.

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Speaker 1: There are things to do, and it's a beautiful place,

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Speaker 1: and there's water and mansions and horses and lions and

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Speaker 1: tigers and bears, and it's a gorgeous, beautiful place. Not

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Speaker 1: enough action nearby that I die on the vine. I rot,

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Speaker 1: I rot. So I've talked before about breadcrumbers. I want

157
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Speaker 1: to talk about these love bombers, these power monger guys

158
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Speaker 1: that have decided that I'm what they want. Okay, I

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Speaker 1: bring this up because there are three guys right now,

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Speaker 1: three guys right now I've blocked I think two of them,

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Speaker 1: not because they were stalking or abusive, because they're pushy

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Speaker 1: and they fucking think. They've decided, like you need a

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Speaker 1: man like me, you should be with a guy like this.

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Speaker 1: What about a guy like that. Age is just a number.

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Speaker 1: You don't want a guy like this. I could be

166
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Speaker 1: like this, we're good for this, Let's try it out.

167
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Speaker 1: Just go out, let's have fun.

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Speaker 2: Let's go. Why just go? What's to dinner? Just we'll

169
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Speaker 2: have fun. Trust me, I don't want to go. That's

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Speaker 2: why you know why I don't want to go because

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Speaker 2: I don't want to go.

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Speaker 1: And these guys are so pushy that they think they're

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Speaker 1: gonna convince me because they've decided that I'm right for

174
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Speaker 1: them based on I don't know what. It could be Fame,

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Speaker 1: could be money, It could be my boobs, could be

176
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Speaker 1: sports illustrated, could be nothing, could be just an idea

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Speaker 1: of me. It could be a flex I don't care.

178
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Speaker 1: But like you don't decide, and we get in the

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Speaker 1: wrong car and then we're on the wrong road, and

180
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Speaker 1: maybe you sleep with someone, maybe you like someone, Maybe

181
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Speaker 1: they convince you and they're like, what am I doing?

182
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Speaker 2: I didn't want to go this road.

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Speaker 1: That's like gaslighting yourself, and like someone's like convincing you

184
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Speaker 1: or culting you in too like date them. I don't

185
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Speaker 1: want to go out with some junger. I don't care

186
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Speaker 1: if it works for some people. I don't want to

187
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Speaker 1: do it. Access denied. Other guy, very pushy, very like

188
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Speaker 1: instant relationship, very cheer relationship, like chia pet like. I'm like,

189
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Speaker 1: I don't. I don't feel comfortable. I don't want watching

190
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Speaker 1: my social media responding to what I say on social media.

191
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:05,440
Speaker 1: I'm talking to my people. I'm not talking to you.

192
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Speaker 1: That's my parasocial relationship with my people. I'm not like

193
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Speaker 1: trying to like date like on mass like send a

194
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Speaker 1: message to one person via ten million people and then

195
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Speaker 1: like coming in not knowing me, like hey, beautiful, good morning, beautiful,

196
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Speaker 1: what's up, beautiful, you're stunning? Like that is a lot.

197
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Speaker 1: That is a lot. I don't like being love bombed.

198
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Speaker 1: I'm a grown ass woman, my body, my choice. I

199
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Speaker 1: don't want to fucking go access denied, get out of here,

200
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Speaker 1: scram so annoyed these pushy guys. It's either the bread

201
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Speaker 1: crumber or the love bomber. It's one spectrum of the other,

202
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Speaker 1: one spectrum or the other. I don't like hang like

203
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Speaker 1: waiting for men. You want to go out with me,

204
00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:54,079
Speaker 1: call me up, ask me out for a date, ask

205
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Speaker 1: me to get together, like pursue me. I am not

206
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Speaker 1: looking for new friends or pempals. I'm not looking for

207
00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:04,400
Speaker 1: like new acquaintance slash friends. If you want a date

208
00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:07,600
Speaker 1: or sleep with me, you'll have to get in line,

209
00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,360
Speaker 1: take a number, ask me when I would like to

210
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Speaker 1: get together, and we can make a proper plan, and

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Speaker 1: then we can go, and then we can.

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Speaker 2: Both decide if we like each other.

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Speaker 1: I can judge you, decide whether I think you're worthy,

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Speaker 1: and you can do the same. Because we're interviewing each other.

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Speaker 2: If you think.

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Speaker 1: That someone that I'm interviewing, I'm just gonna like call

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Speaker 1: them and be like, Hi, Yeah, I'm in your area.

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Speaker 1: Let's go grab a smoothie in between your work. You

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Speaker 1: have another fucking thing coming, Like no bread crumb guy,

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Speaker 1: No thank you. I'm not interested in any of that.

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Speaker 1: Get in or get out. I'm not interested in any

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Speaker 1: of this, no interest in being anyone's journal or pempal.

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Speaker 1: I would rather be alone. I love a woman like, no,

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Speaker 1: wonder you're alone? Yeah, no, wonder, I'm alone because I

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Speaker 1: don't need a hairy man with a fucking remote control thinking.

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna be some weird o booty call like, no,

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Speaker 1: come to the table with something, I come to the

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Speaker 1: table with things. So come to the table with things.

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Speaker 1: We're interviewing each other. What do you got do? You

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Speaker 1: don't push someone into hiring you, and you don't act

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Speaker 1: casually when you're interested in someone hiring you. In both directions,

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Speaker 1: you be intentional, You be elegant, you walk upright, you

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Speaker 1: have some class, some dignity, You respect someone else's time,

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Speaker 1: and you act like a grown up.

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Speaker 2: Elderly care what a topic.

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Speaker 1: I have no living parents. I have a stepfather who

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Speaker 1: is dying, and I was there when my real father died.

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Speaker 1: He was mean to me up to his last breath.

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Speaker 1: Presumably I always reminded him of my mother, but I

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Speaker 1: don't know. So my mother, who I was estranged with too,

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Speaker 1: had you know my childhood was? I did a TikTok

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Speaker 1: about this and an Instagram post that I put on

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Speaker 1: Instagram afterwards. I don't like to talk about my childhood,

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Speaker 1: not because it's triggering or sad, but because I don't

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Speaker 1: like any version of woe is me. I have a

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Speaker 1: wonderful life. I have a beautiful daughter. I've broken the chain.

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Speaker 1: But there's no part of abuse, sexual deviance, drugs, bookies, gambling, dysfunction,

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Speaker 1: nightclubs at thirteen.

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Speaker 2: The racetrack.

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Speaker 1: Sexually deviant racetrack character is like bad stuff in my house,

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Speaker 1: as growing up, eating disorders, all the things. So my stepfather,

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Speaker 1: I have said, was the only father I ever really had,

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Speaker 1: But like that's glamorizing the vice meant that I grew

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Speaker 1: up in because it was the best of the worst.

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Speaker 1: Presumably it was just somebody that was there when my

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Speaker 1: mother was off living in Wales for summers and in

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Speaker 1: other relationships or at institutions, or post taking her own

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Speaker 1: life or post ending up in the hospital being abused

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Speaker 1: by one of the many men in her life. So

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Speaker 1: my stepfather is alive, and he had a daughter and

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Speaker 1: a family before me, and a daughter and a family

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Speaker 1: after me. And he tends to go very hot and

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Speaker 1: get very close and then burn things to the ground

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Speaker 1: and like scorch the Kingdom Kalisi style around him. And

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he's a bad guy, but he's

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Speaker 1: done bad things and he's been around unsavory things, and

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Speaker 1: he's not a good guy.

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Speaker 2: He's not a good guy.

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Speaker 1: One of these people that you know does all the

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Speaker 1: hail Mary's and goes to put money in the basket,

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Speaker 1: but that's probably the end of the piousness in his life.

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Speaker 1: So anyway, a racetrack character. I always resentful of my

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Speaker 1: real father's success, always obsessed with my mother. I've had

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Speaker 1: parents that didn't treat me like a child. They treated

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Speaker 1: me like an adult as a child. So my stepfather, well,

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Speaker 1: maybe when he passes, I'll tell just a lot of bad,

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Speaker 1: abusive stuff in my household in front of me that

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Speaker 1: no kid would ever no adults should ever see.

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Speaker 2: So he is on his last.

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Speaker 1: Like of the tour, and someone reached out to me

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Speaker 1: on his behalf to pay for his care. I guess

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Speaker 1: his daughter, who's actually his biological daughter. He has two

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Speaker 1: biological daughters. Two wives are with them or babe me

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Speaker 1: moms and wives. One step daughter is me. But those

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Speaker 1: two people have nothing to do with him. He used

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Speaker 1: to be close with both of them, and I'm the

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Speaker 1: only one that this person who's watched him deteriorate called

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Speaker 1: basically to pay for things. And several years ago he

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Speaker 1: asked me for money and I gave it, and he

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Speaker 1: accidentally texted me thinking I was a sports bookie, and

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Speaker 1: I realized that the money that I'd given him was

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Speaker 1: going to sports. So in this case, I wanted to

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Speaker 1: make sure that it really went to a facility. He

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Speaker 1: won't go to a facility, so I paid to have

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Speaker 1: someone at the house. And it's certainly not inexpensive, and

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Speaker 1: I certainly am not doing it because I feel warm

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Speaker 1: and fuzzy. I'm doing this because it's the human thing

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Speaker 1: to do. There's no guilt or obligation attached to it.

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Speaker 1: It's a human being. It's like doing relief work. It's

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Speaker 1: a human being that I happened to be aware of

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Speaker 1: that is suffering. It's been brought to my attention that

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Speaker 1: the individual is suffering. So I'm going to pay for this,

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Speaker 1: But there's always a fraudulence that I feel like I

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Speaker 1: don't want any sort of human credit for being such

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Speaker 1: a wonderful, generous, kind soul. The person who called on

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Speaker 1: his behalf wanted to like reach out after and like

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Speaker 1: gush over it, and it made me very uncomfortable. And

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Speaker 1: the person who handled it for me, Thank you to

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Speaker 1: that person. I just said to that person, can this

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Speaker 1: other person not call me like? I don't want to

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Speaker 1: really talk about it. It's very triggering, and I'm paying

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Speaker 1: for it. I don't even know that it makes me

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Speaker 1: a good person, like I did it for my mother

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Speaker 1: as well. I don't even the reasons. They're not selfish,

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Speaker 1: they're not that human and philanthropic. I did it because

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Speaker 1: who else was going to do it. It's a human being.

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Speaker 1: I didn't do it because I feel like I owed it.

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Speaker 1: I did it because it's the right thing to do.

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Speaker 1: I did it because I guess integrity is what you do.

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Speaker 1: And no one's looking, although I'm telling you so maybe

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Speaker 1: you are looking.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I just know that many of you can relate to

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Speaker 1: what to do and elderly care when someone hasn't been

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Speaker 1: a parent, when someone hasn't really done right by you.

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Speaker 1: But maybe when you realize that, Like I hate saying this,

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Speaker 1: but maybe they did the best they could. I think

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Speaker 1: that's a fucking scam because I think saying that when

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Speaker 1: someone has been a piece of shit is not true.

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Speaker 1: But maybe it is true. Maybe people who are pieces

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Speaker 1: of shit just couldn't get out of their own way.

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Speaker 1: It's the best. They did the best they could. They

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Speaker 1: regret it. They don't regret it. They're delusional. They are

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Speaker 1: in denial. They were raised wrong, they were modeled wrong.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, but it's definitely something that's challenging. And

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Speaker 1: by the comments I've received, it seems like you're doing

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Speaker 1: this really more for yourself than the other person, Like

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Speaker 1: forgiveness is seemingly for the other person, but it's also

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Speaker 1: for ourselves. It's just to liberate ourselves, free ourselves, to

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Speaker 1: be the better person, to know that we are still human.

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Speaker 2: That's the thing.

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Speaker 1: If someone's on the side of the road, no matter

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Speaker 1: what they've done, no matter what their life is, who

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Speaker 1: they've wronged, and they're dying, or they're poor, or they're

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Speaker 1: suffering or they're cold, I will always feel something