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Speaker 1: Hi, everybody, and welcome back to Katie's crib. In this episode,

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Speaker 1: we're talking about in vitro fertilization, which um I've always

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Speaker 1: called IVF. Actually I don't even think I even knew

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Speaker 1: that IVF that's what it stood for for anyway, it's

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Speaker 1: in vitro fertilization. The first baby conceived through in vitro fertilization,

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Speaker 1: Louise Joy Brown, was born in Since then, millions of

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Speaker 1: babies worldwide have been born because of IVF. In vitro

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Speaker 1: fertilization treatment has been life changing for so many families.

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Speaker 1: But it can be it can be super complicated. It

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Speaker 1: can be a tough subject to talk about, and that's

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Speaker 1: why we're here. You know, we talked about the tough subjects.

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Speaker 1: So what exactly is in vitro fertilization? What's it like

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Speaker 1: to go through the process to conceive a child? I

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Speaker 1: am very excited to find out, and I hope you

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Speaker 1: are too. So I'm here with literally one of my

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Speaker 1: closest friends, Becky Offenheiser, whose son Miles is my son's

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Speaker 1: best friend in the world. Old Becky's husband Dave, went

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Speaker 1: to University of Maryland with my husband Adam there, Dave

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Speaker 1: and Shappy, Shabby and Dave, and now our sons are

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Speaker 1: Miles and Alby. I'll be and Miles. Thank you Betty

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Speaker 1: for being here. Thank you. So tell us a little

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Speaker 1: bit um before you decided to do and beat your

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Speaker 1: fertilization treatment, like tell us where were you in your life?

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Speaker 1: Like how long have you been trying to conceive? Had

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Speaker 1: you been trying all that stuff? My husband and I,

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Speaker 1: Dave and I had lived in New York for a

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Speaker 1: year after we got married. We just like drank and

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Speaker 1: ate our faces off, so we were only there for

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Speaker 1: a year and before we moved back, we were like,

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Speaker 1: all right, I think now is the time to start trying.

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Speaker 1: And I remember we like ceremoniously like throughout our birth

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Speaker 1: control and like took a picture which makes me want

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Speaker 1: to punch myself in the face, and knowing what I

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Speaker 1: know now, but we were like, yeah, it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: so easy, and we threw it out and uh it

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Speaker 1: was not. Um. We spent a year trying and it

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Speaker 1: started with like we're just gonna be breezy, and then

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Speaker 1: it's starting to think about it and I'm going to

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Speaker 1: think about it. We're just gonna have some drinks and

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Speaker 1: see what happens. And that's slowly morphed into why isn't

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Speaker 1: this happening? And did you get to the point of

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Speaker 1: like you were monitoring your period on apps? So I

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Speaker 1: did everything. I monitored it. I read every fertility book

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Speaker 1: under the sun. I was doing ACU pressure because I

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Speaker 1: was too scared to do acupuncture at the time. Becky's

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Speaker 1: got a real needle situation, which we're very glad that

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Speaker 1: Becky got pregnant. Actually had to face those fears when

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Speaker 1: you had needles in you when you had So I

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Speaker 1: did ACU pressure. I was doing all these like weird

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Speaker 1: hippie things like where they're like lighting candles on my

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Speaker 1: stomach and like it was just like I was doing everything,

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Speaker 1: and then I was um doing this ovulation kit where

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Speaker 1: you like stick you pee on a stick and let

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Speaker 1: me stick it in a kit. And then it's like

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Speaker 1: it's super dementic because it's either like a smiley face

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Speaker 1: or a sad face apparently like the smiley faces like

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Speaker 1: you're ovulating like and so we did that and and

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Speaker 1: nothing was working, and I went to my OBI at

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Speaker 1: the time they kind of pinpointed a thyroid issue. Great,

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Speaker 1: great great got that sorted out. They put me on Chlomad,

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Speaker 1: which I don't know if you have friends. It's basically

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Speaker 1: like the first line of defense that a lot of

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Speaker 1: people do, and it's like this crazy hormone that's supposed

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Speaker 1: to help increase your chances of getting pregnant. It makes

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Speaker 1: you psychotic. I've never heard of a lot of people

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Speaker 1: do chloma It's pill and it makes you psychotic, like

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Speaker 1: I was, like my sister called me a clomatosaurus because

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Speaker 1: I was like a crazy person. So we did like

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Speaker 1: multiple rounds of clomad that didn't work. So it was

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Speaker 1: about a year and then in March or in February

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Speaker 1: of twenty my dad had a massive stroke and died

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Speaker 1: five weeks later, and my wife fell apart, fell apart,

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Speaker 1: and uh. I remember being in the hospital and my

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Speaker 1: period was late, and I remember We're thinking, oh, this

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Speaker 1: is going to be so like full circle, like I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be pregnant. My dad's sick and I'm going

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Speaker 1: to be pregnant, and like the universe is gonna show

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Speaker 1: me love and kindness. And then I got like boom,

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Speaker 1: got my period, and I was like cool, and it

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Speaker 1: was the worst. It was the worst. And meanwhile, of

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Speaker 1: course everyone around me is getting pregnant and like people

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Speaker 1: love sharing that with me, and it was just the

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Speaker 1: low of all those So I spent a few months

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Speaker 1: sort of trying to dig myself out of the whole

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Speaker 1: of the death of my dad. And around August, Dave

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Speaker 1: kind of was like, why don't we go see a doctor,

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Speaker 1: Like it's not working for us. It's been a year

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Speaker 1: and a half and I know, and like, why don't

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Speaker 1: we go Let's just figure this out. And so it

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Speaker 1: can be really hard and really lonely, Like Becky and

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Speaker 1: I were talking about this before we started recording, but

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Speaker 1: like I have a couple of friends who are having

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Speaker 1: a rough time getting pregnant. And when you're having a

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Speaker 1: hard time getting pregnant, it's like you can't not see

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Speaker 1: every single baby commercial, every single Facebook, every single friend

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Speaker 1: of yours that's getting pregnant around you. Um, and you

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Speaker 1: get really I think, and I think you did this too.

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Speaker 1: You sort of isolated yourself from those people because you

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Speaker 1: were so and you were dealing with your father's death.

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Speaker 1: But you get angry, like I'm sure there are more

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Speaker 1: evolved people than me truly. I'm sure they're like they're

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Speaker 1: walking their path. I'm walking mind. But I was like

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Speaker 1: really fucking pissed and like I wanted to like light

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Speaker 1: their house and if one more friend of your head,

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Speaker 1: like her third baby, I I couldn't. It was just

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Speaker 1: it was it all was as a constant reminder of

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Speaker 1: how inadequate and barren I was. And then I couldn't

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Speaker 1: do it and why it's so hard. And I'm a

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Speaker 1: TV producer, so it's like you give me a goal,

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Speaker 1: I reached that goal and I do it. So it's

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Speaker 1: like I don't understand why this isn't happening, and now

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Speaker 1: you've taken my dad for me too, So like, funk

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Speaker 1: you world, fuck you? Like it really, I just couldn't

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Speaker 1: do it, and um, around August, we were like, let's

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Speaker 1: let's go see someone, see someone. Did you know like

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Speaker 1: about IVF did you friends? I think just being in

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Speaker 1: our generation right, like it's not like a super like

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Speaker 1: foreign concept or just like you've heard of it, your

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Speaker 1: friends who've done it. And after my dad died, what

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Speaker 1: was so interesting was that I first I just wanted

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Speaker 1: a kid for us, I now wanted his blood back

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Speaker 1: in the world, and that was my driving field. We

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Speaker 1: talked a lot about. I remember being at a wedding

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Speaker 1: and I knew that you guys were you were I

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Speaker 1: don't know what process point in the process you were

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Speaker 1: of IVF and and I was asking about to you

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Speaker 1: about adoption, and I remember you saying very specifically, you know,

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Speaker 1: I may have been open to that before, but since

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Speaker 1: my father has passed away, like it just means so

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Speaker 1: much to me to continue having his genetic bloodline, Like

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Speaker 1: it feels really important to me to have this baby

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Speaker 1: with my lineage involved. It was that I had never

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Speaker 1: even considered that as like a really strong emotional thing,

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Speaker 1: but you knew it in your gut. It was like,

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Speaker 1: watch out, world, I'm getting this kid, like you you

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Speaker 1: watch out. I don't care how I have to do it.

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Speaker 1: I don't care what I have to do. I'm getting

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Speaker 1: this kid because I want a piece of him back.

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Speaker 1: And that might sound really weird, but like I was

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Speaker 1: going to give this guy a grandkid. I didn't, you know.

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Speaker 1: So we went to We had heard about Dr Booston

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Speaker 1: Far at Huneyton Reproductive Center. Just like through the years,

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Speaker 1: like people had kind of like wink wink, nodded at

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Speaker 1: me like, hey, if you need someone like can you slowly?

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Speaker 1: His name doctor boost in farm Boost whose father was

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Speaker 1: my pediatrician. And I found out later that's my mom

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Speaker 1: goes ductor boosting far I don't know that name, and

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Speaker 1: she put it together and I asked him and he

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Speaker 1: was so, um, yeah, trippy. So he was the first

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Speaker 1: person you met with. He was the first and only

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Speaker 1: person we met with. And I showed up with all

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Speaker 1: my stuff and he was confident. He had just enough

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Speaker 1: ego that I liked it because it made me feel

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Speaker 1: like he was confident get the job done. Yeah. It

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Speaker 1: was like okay, yeah, we're going to do but there

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Speaker 1: was compassion and um. He was really clear that he

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Speaker 1: wanted to just get the full picture of what was

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Speaker 1: going on, and he was never going to waste our time.

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Speaker 1: He was never going to do like random a lot

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Speaker 1: of people do. I use, which is basically like a

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Speaker 1: turkey based or of sperm and you to shoot it

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Speaker 1: up and whatever. He's like, I think we're going to

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Speaker 1: just skip that whole part. I can do that. We'll

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Speaker 1: just go right to because there's a much higher chance

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Speaker 1: likelihood of it not working with I UI correct like

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Speaker 1: I use like essentially take a turkey based or of

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Speaker 1: their sperm during the window of your audiating, so that

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Speaker 1: you really nail the timing, but it's still not as

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Speaker 1: high ratio wise as IDEA. Right. So he was like, like,

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna do it. If you're already a year

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Speaker 1: and a half in, we're not going to waste your time.

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Speaker 1: Once you talk to him, was it like a shore

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Speaker 1: fire like you and they were like, yep, this is

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Speaker 1: what we're doing. Was there was never any invitation. There

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Speaker 1: was literally like we're doing And again I was so

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Speaker 1: hell bent. I was like, you guys, Becky's one driven

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Speaker 1: as strong as woman. So so I was like, what

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Speaker 1: do we have to do? And the hardest part about

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Speaker 1: IVF for some of the things he keep going. But

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Speaker 1: the hardest part is that you you show up. First

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Speaker 1: of all, you show up in these fertility clinic store

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Speaker 1: steps and you're already really depleted your years into trying.

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Speaker 1: You've gotten like eighteen periods that you didn't want, you know,

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Speaker 1: so you're really like showing up and you want it.

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Speaker 1: You want it tomorrow. You want to walk in and

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Speaker 1: have them go. You know what, I think today is

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Speaker 1: the day we're gonna plant that embryo. But it doesn't

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Speaker 1: work like that, you know, it takes months and months

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Speaker 1: and months. So it's frustrating to start. What was the

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Speaker 1: first consultation, Like when you say I brought him all

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Speaker 1: my stuff, does that mean like you're talking to him

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Speaker 1: about your periods and like what you're eating, Like what

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Speaker 1: are the It's really kind of just your blood work

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Speaker 1: more than anything. Like my old Obi who is no

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Speaker 1: longer my Obi had done sort of preliminary tests on me,

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Speaker 1: and again I sort of had like the thyroid thing

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Speaker 1: that I thought maybe was it, and at first glance,

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Speaker 1: there was really nothing super obvious, so he wanted to

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Speaker 1: then run a lot more tests. Um in the meantime,

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Speaker 1: he's like, he found a bunch of sists my ovaries,

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Speaker 1: So he's like, we're gonna have to do a quick

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Speaker 1: surgery get those taken care of. God I didn't know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: So he was like, he's like, I know it's frustrating

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Speaker 1: and it's going to put you back a few months,

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Speaker 1: but I really I want to make sure we're preparing

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Speaker 1: you correctly. So he's like, while we're continuing to figure

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Speaker 1: this out, why don't we take the sist out. Well.

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Speaker 1: The surgery for me was traumatic because I don't do

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Speaker 1: well with needles, and I threw a male nurse across

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Speaker 1: the room when he tried to put an IVY in

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Speaker 1: my arm. This is a real thing. The needle phobia

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Speaker 1: that he has is not like a joke com now

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Speaker 1: just talking about it. It's like it's like I would

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Speaker 1: choose death over an ivy, like serious. So my new

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Speaker 1: obi then basically was like get your ships together. You

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Speaker 1: can't actually have an IVF or a baby if you

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Speaker 1: can't deal with needles. So you got to figure this out.

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Speaker 1: So while I was healing from surgery, I went to

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Speaker 1: a phobia therapist and then spent two months battling that phobia.

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Speaker 1: So I come out of that and I'm like, all right,

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Speaker 1: one that they say it's crazy, it's like meditation therapies.

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Speaker 1: It's like it's called cognitive behavioral therapy, and it's like

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Speaker 1: literally like Jedi mind tricks. It's like retraining your brain

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Speaker 1: to think about things in a different way, so to

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Speaker 1: react in a different way. I've been in a lot

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Speaker 1: of mom classes when we were pregnant that the biggest

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Speaker 1: hang up for women were not the labor was not

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Speaker 1: the labor at all, the pushing at all. It was

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Speaker 1: the getting the IV you have to have if you're

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Speaker 1: having maybe in a hospital, you have to have the

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Speaker 1: head block put in, which is a you know, the

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Speaker 1: needle into the vein in your wrist during the entire labor,

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Speaker 1: which for some people's two days. And I have to

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Speaker 1: admit most of the women in the classes were more

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Speaker 1: afraid of that needle than they were of labor. So like,

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Speaker 1: this is good for people to know and hear that

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Speaker 1: there's needle phobia worn do for maybe during pregnancy or

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Speaker 1: previously to hopefully get you through that. Um what kind

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Speaker 1: of tests did you have to take? And then when

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Speaker 1: they found stuff? Did you make major changes in your diet?

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Speaker 1: So they did all sorts of tests. They do everything

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Speaker 1: from like putting this die and your fallopian twos to

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Speaker 1: make sure your flow, mean tubes are open. They really

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Speaker 1: check out your anatomy and make sure your anatomy is right,

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Speaker 1: like your uterus isn't tilted or like they really explore

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Speaker 1: and then the blood work, I mean, god knows, they

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Speaker 1: test for everything from like infectious diseases to autoimmune stuff.

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Speaker 1: And it's I mean, they really dr boustom for especially.

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Speaker 1: It was unbelievably thorough. So I get through the needle

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Speaker 1: phobia and I'm like, let's do it. I have no

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Speaker 1: system my ovaries. And they're like, great, great, Great, let's

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Speaker 1: start AF. We were so excited and they were like,

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Speaker 1: we'll do one more blood test before you start UM.

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Speaker 1: So they're like, okay, great, we're going to start IVF

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Speaker 1: and I'm like we And so we do a blood

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Speaker 1: tests and the nurse calls me and she says, I'm

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Speaker 1: so sorry, there's something wrong with your blood and we

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Speaker 1: can't do IVF on you this month. And I collapsed

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Speaker 1: and I said, don't understand what's wrong with my letter.

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Speaker 1: I'm freaking out. And she said, you need to see

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Speaker 1: a rheumatologist. There we've found some things that were off.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like, what is a rheumatologist? I don't even know.

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Speaker 1: Are you kidding me? I just said surgery. I just

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Speaker 1: overcome a phobia, like my dad just died. Just put

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Speaker 1: an embry in my body. I don't even care who's

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Speaker 1: embryo at this point, like shove something in there and

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Speaker 1: let it grow. So, oh my god, I frantically. Dave

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Speaker 1: frantically looks on yelp that day, I don't even I

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Speaker 1: don't think I can go to work. I'm inconsolable. We

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Speaker 1: find some rheumatologists on yelp who who is a doctor

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Speaker 1: of basically like autoimmune diseases, like like arthritis and things

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Speaker 1: like that. We go to the sky. He looks at

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Speaker 1: my blood and he says, you are very, very sick.

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Speaker 1: You have multiple autoimmune diseases. You have lupus, you have

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Speaker 1: show grins, and the worst of all, you have something

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Speaker 1: called anti fospil lipid syndrome and it is a blood

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Speaker 1: clotting disorder that attacks babies. And I'm sorry to tell

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Speaker 1: you this. You can never have children and you could

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Speaker 1: never carry a child. And I sat there stunned, like

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Speaker 1: and what. And then he examined me and he was

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Speaker 1: like classic lupus and classic this. And he's looking at

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Speaker 1: my wrist and I'm like what and he's like, haven't

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Speaker 1: you been in pain? I'm like yeah, but like my

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Speaker 1: dad died and I'm grieving and I thought that was

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Speaker 1: the pain. And he's like, actually a lot of people

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Speaker 1: find out they have these things after they lose a

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Speaker 1: family member because symptoms. Yes, And I said I've ever

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Speaker 1: cried on this podcast. I cried, I don't know. Well,

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Speaker 1: here we are, he said. I said, no, but there

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Speaker 1: has to be like somebody who has had this, that

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Speaker 1: has carried a baby. I mean, it's crazy. And he goes, no,

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Speaker 1: you should look into adoption. And I'm sorry, I know

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Speaker 1: it's not why you want to hear, but I would

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Speaker 1: tell you you have to look into adoption. And we

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Speaker 1: were just beside ourselves. I mean we left and we

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Speaker 1: were like in shock, and um. Thankfully we went back

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Speaker 1: to Dr Boston Far and this the rheumatologist had written

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Speaker 1: him like a very passionate letter of about how I

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Speaker 1: could never even do IVF even have a surrogate, like

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Speaker 1: my body should never have hormones in it and blah

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Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah, I should never have a baby.

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Speaker 1: And Dr or Boosting Far basically was like, you know,

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Speaker 1: he might be right, but I want you to see

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Speaker 1: this one more person and they're going to be the

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Speaker 1: person that's going to tell me if you can carry.

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Speaker 1: And he is a high risk O B G y N.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people don't know they exist because they

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Speaker 1: don't know. You don't need them until you need them right,

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Speaker 1: but there are these like specialized O B G y

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Speaker 1: ns that deal with issues with multip carrying multiples, people

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Speaker 1: who have all sorts of diseases that are trying to

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Speaker 1: carry people like me, etcetera, etcetera. He said, go to

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Speaker 1: this guy and if he tells me you can't, then

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Speaker 1: we'll talk about other options. But you have to go

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Speaker 1: to this guy first. And we were like okay, and

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Speaker 1: we showed up. And I don't know why I remember

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Speaker 1: like I looked like Debbie Gifts in that day, Like

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Speaker 1: I don't know why that's even important, but like I

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Speaker 1: vividly remember that like this like weird hat, like so bizarre.

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Speaker 1: Oh you had like a hipster like bowler, but it

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Speaker 1: was exactly, I know the exactly and I had like

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Speaker 1: a puncture. I wasn't just a disaster. So walk into

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Speaker 1: this man Dr Dewani and I sit down and Dave

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Speaker 1: and I are like holding our breath and he looks

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Speaker 1: in my chart and he goes, it's an impressive of

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Speaker 1: blood work. And I go, God, thanks, and he goes,

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Speaker 1: you're not sick, and I go what And he goes,

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Speaker 1: your blood's a mess. I'm looking at you and you're

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Speaker 1: not sick, and I was like okay, and he goes,

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Speaker 1: if you do everything I tell you to do, I

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Speaker 1: will get you your baby. And we just burst into

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Speaker 1: tears and he kept his word um and we he

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Speaker 1: gave me, by the way, because you are so driven,

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Speaker 1: thank God, and so like such a badass that you

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Speaker 1: did every single thing he said. I was like, I

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Speaker 1: don't care what this guy tells me to do, Like

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Speaker 1: I'll do anything, you know. And at this point I

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Speaker 1: had already like my whole house was all work and products,

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Speaker 1: Like I mean, I had already done that crap, Like

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Speaker 1: this was like next level. So he he essentially laid

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Speaker 1: out an unbelievably detailed diet that essentially is just very clean,

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Speaker 1: but it was super anti inflammatory, super anti Every single

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Speaker 1: thing that you could pass me put in your body

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Speaker 1: that might inflame your joints or your organs or in

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Speaker 1: any sort of way, you are not allowed to eat it.

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Speaker 1: I don't I don't eat gluten, I don't eat dairy. Um.

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Speaker 1: And he had me on blood thinners. He said, you

348
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Speaker 1: enough to be on blood thinners basically the whole year

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Speaker 1: of your pregnancy plus after to help prevent the clot

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Speaker 1: and he very calmly said, by the way, you're like

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Speaker 1: not even close to my worst case. Like he was like,

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Speaker 1: you're good, and I'll never forget walking out the receptionist

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Speaker 1: like if you've gotten like the green light from Dr Dawani,

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Speaker 1: they hand you this packet. It's like basically like welcome

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Speaker 1: to pregnancy. And they handed us this packet. And I

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Speaker 1: took the packet, and Dave and I walked in the

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Speaker 1: hall and just burst into tears and just like held

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Speaker 1: each other in this hallway like this guy was like

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Speaker 1: an angel. Like I could never have I hadn't had

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Speaker 1: felt hope and like years and I couldn't believe it.

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Speaker 1: So so yes, I that day changed my whole diet.

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Speaker 1: I changed. I was eating so many herbs, I was

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Speaker 1: exercising five days a week like YadA, YadA, YadA, So

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Speaker 1: that you went into like warrior like you were training

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Speaker 1: for like the biggest marathon in your life to put

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Speaker 1: your body through something. Um. And so you go back

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Speaker 1: to Dr Boston Bar and he says, it's like great,

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Speaker 1: told you. You know. He was like all calm, I mean,

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Speaker 1: they're like they're the best, and he's like, let's do

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Speaker 1: this now, you know. So um, so then did it

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Speaker 1: take a few months for your body to get to

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Speaker 1: the correct blood work it needed to be to even

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Speaker 1: do in vitro or get your eggs out or how

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Speaker 1: does that work? Like there was a little bit of prep,

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Speaker 1: like they wanted me to kind of spend a few

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Speaker 1: months like just getting my body good. And so I

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Speaker 1: started at this point I could do acupuncture because I

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Speaker 1: had done my needle phote be a thing, like I'm

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Speaker 1: a mess, And so I was doing acupuncture and I

380
00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:06,679
Speaker 1: was like I was I was having like one glass

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Speaker 1: of wine week, which is probably the worst part of

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Speaker 1: all of it, is the lack of wine good, Like

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Speaker 1: can you even imagine it's having? That's all you need

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Speaker 1: right now, That's all you need. The other the biggest

385
00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:21,240
Speaker 1: component too, is like stress management. Like Dr Dawani very

386
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Speaker 1: clearly said to me, you actually cannot feel any stress.

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Speaker 1: If you feel stress, you have to get up, walk

388
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Speaker 1: outside and d stress. Stress for you will kill your baby.

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Speaker 1: So whatever you have to do to manage it. And

390
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Speaker 1: I and I took that really seriously, and I started

391
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Speaker 1: like meditating. When we were yoga class our entire pregnancy.

392
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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we did yoga our entire pregnancy. Like to

393
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Speaker 1: three days a week religiously, like in that yoga class

394
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Speaker 1: we were in like a beautiful plates glass every two

395
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Speaker 1: times a week. You went, I mean you were so

396
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Speaker 1: were you? You were with me? Yeah? But because then

397
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Speaker 1: I wouldn't have got is the standard ibs, Like, okay,

398
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:10,760
Speaker 1: the one you have. Does that mean you go on

399
00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:12,920
Speaker 1: like a birth introl pill for a while and then

400
00:20:12,960 --> 00:20:16,200
Speaker 1: they put you under and they retrieve eggs. Yeah, that's

401
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:18,800
Speaker 1: exactly it. So they did get out a lot of

402
00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,159
Speaker 1: eggs when they did it. This is the same process

403
00:20:21,160 --> 00:20:23,720
Speaker 1: they do for egg freezing. It's the same thing except

404
00:20:23,760 --> 00:20:26,640
Speaker 1: I continued, So I built an embryo and then later

405
00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,280
Speaker 1: put the embryo in. Right, So you got put under

406
00:20:29,359 --> 00:20:31,919
Speaker 1: and you got eggs out. I got eggs out. I prepped,

407
00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:34,800
Speaker 1: I got eggs out. They took the egg and dave sperm.

408
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:36,439
Speaker 1: They mixed it into petri dish, and then at a

409
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Speaker 1: certain time they put you under again and they insert

410
00:20:38,640 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 1: that embryo. You don't get put under when you get

411
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Speaker 1: it inserted. So I feel like it feels well, first

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Speaker 1: of all, you're kind of high because you're on there,

413
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:49,760
Speaker 1: like do you want? And they didn't even depend well

414
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,639
Speaker 1: that's right. Any they didn't have to finish the sentence,

415
00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:53,280
Speaker 1: like they're like do you want them? Like yes if

416
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 1: I get in and yes, like which you have? Please

417
00:20:56,080 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 1: I'll take Can I take two for you know? Yeah?

418
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,399
Speaker 1: And I wasn't drinking, so I was like, can I

419
00:21:00,520 --> 00:21:02,440
Speaker 1: like snort it? Like how can I get this into

420
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Speaker 1: my body? Um? So you know the implantation, well, first date.

421
00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:09,560
Speaker 1: So I did my first retrieval, and I mean my

422
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Speaker 1: joke is like my eggs are like their dogshit, Like

423
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Speaker 1: my eggs are like perfectly. That was like by the

424
00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,639
Speaker 1: skin of our teeth. But um, you know boosting far

425
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Speaker 1: dr was about called me after it, after we built

426
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Speaker 1: embryos and only one survived, and he just said, you know,

427
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:26,720
Speaker 1: this is a very hard call to make. He's like,

428
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,040
Speaker 1: you did get one and it is viable, but you

429
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,679
Speaker 1: know that's not doesn't give me a lot of options

430
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,400
Speaker 1: for you. Um, if you if you were ever thinking

431
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:37,400
Speaker 1: about having kids more than once, or if you want

432
00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 1: to increase your options, I would encourage you to do

433
00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,560
Speaker 1: with one another retrieval. Okay, so when he calls you,

434
00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:44,840
Speaker 1: he says, you have one. We've gotten one egg out

435
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:48,600
Speaker 1: of this retrieval and that one embryo. One embryo, oh,

436
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 1: because you got out however many eggs, the plus you

437
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:53,800
Speaker 1: make it with some sperm and then some don't survive.

438
00:21:53,920 --> 00:21:56,800
Speaker 1: Somewhere they're like you have three embryos, and then like

439
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,080
Speaker 1: two days later you're they're like, you have one, and

440
00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:00,879
Speaker 1: they tell you what the or if you want to

441
00:22:00,960 --> 00:22:03,640
Speaker 1: tell you what the sex is, which is a trip. Right, Um,

442
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:05,760
Speaker 1: so I got one embryo, I got I got the

443
00:22:05,760 --> 00:22:08,680
Speaker 1: one that's in my house right now. We got two

444
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,119
Speaker 1: miles and then so you did a second retrieval, so

445
00:22:11,160 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 1: then you have to again. It all happens at the

446
00:22:13,800 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 1: pace you don't want. But then I had to wait

447
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:19,360
Speaker 1: for my body to calm down, go back on a cycle,

448
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:21,159
Speaker 1: and then I was able to do another one. So

449
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,399
Speaker 1: it was like four months later that I had to

450
00:22:23,400 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 1: do another one. So it's all just like a waiting

451
00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:28,640
Speaker 1: game for this all before you did the implantation. Yeah,

452
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:32,440
Speaker 1: so I'm now three years in, three years in to

453
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,120
Speaker 1: this ship, so like I'm I'm pretty much at this point.

454
00:22:35,160 --> 00:22:38,800
Speaker 1: I have like deleted all Instagram, social media, Facebook. I

455
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:41,760
Speaker 1: can't even be around people, as you know with kids,

456
00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,359
Speaker 1: if you have a kid, like I just can't. Sorry, sorry,

457
00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,280
Speaker 1: come talk to me in five years. Utfully. Yeah. So

458
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:51,720
Speaker 1: I did my second round and uh, I altered a

459
00:22:51,800 --> 00:22:54,320
Speaker 1: few things for my own mental. I was like, I'm

460
00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:57,879
Speaker 1: gonna try this this time. And I got two embryos

461
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:01,600
Speaker 1: out of that one, so, um, then I was done

462
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:04,920
Speaker 1: with the retrievals. Okay, so you have you have two embryos,

463
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: and then we have miles. So then how was the

464
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 1: implantation process? What is that? Like you're awake, you said,

465
00:23:09,560 --> 00:23:11,600
Speaker 1: it's not a big deal, Like that's the after First

466
00:23:11,640 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 1: of all, you go in there with Dave and you're like,

467
00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: oh my god, we're getting pregnant. Yes, yes, yes, First

468
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,719
Speaker 1: of all, anyone who's going through and what's the odds

469
00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:22,800
Speaker 1: of actually getting pregnant? It really varies. Um they if

470
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:24,280
Speaker 1: you look on film, look online, but like if you

471
00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:26,560
Speaker 1: look online but like it's you're like cool. But then

472
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:29,120
Speaker 1: some doctors, let's say it's sixty. It really depends on

473
00:23:29,680 --> 00:23:34,280
Speaker 1: your own situation. All people who are going through infertility

474
00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:37,239
Speaker 1: do is get prodded with things in their vagina. Like

475
00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 1: all you do is like get a wand shoved into

476
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,480
Speaker 1: so so that by the time you're implantation, it's literally

477
00:23:43,520 --> 00:23:46,199
Speaker 1: like nothing, Like you're like I don't know what you

478
00:23:46,200 --> 00:23:48,440
Speaker 1: want to put this remote control on me? Like I don't.

479
00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,240
Speaker 1: Like at this point, you've had everything shoved inside of

480
00:23:51,240 --> 00:23:54,439
Speaker 1: you that you're just like whatever. But the implantation, the

481
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 1: worst part of it is you have to go with

482
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:59,080
Speaker 1: a full bladder, like full bladder and you have to

483
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:02,480
Speaker 1: hold it and like I p every thirty minutes. I'm sorry,

484
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 1: I probably have to pee. Um they have to see

485
00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 1: on the ultrastown as they're putting the embry on, and

486
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 1: the only way to see is if you have like

487
00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:12,879
Speaker 1: urine in there. And I remember like literally like in

488
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:15,560
Speaker 1: the lobby and you're like terrified and you're on Vicadin

489
00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,119
Speaker 1: and you're like holding your pa. And then Dr bostam

490
00:24:18,119 --> 00:24:20,159
Speaker 1: Bar was like ten minutes late because he was with

491
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:22,280
Speaker 1: someone else, and I was like, I'm going to pee

492
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:23,440
Speaker 1: on the floor. I'm gonna be on the floor, and

493
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:25,679
Speaker 1: they're like, uh, go to the restroom and you can

494
00:24:25,720 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 1: pee for one second. So I would imagine everyone try

495
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,720
Speaker 1: that at home, really good for your key goal. I

496
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:38,720
Speaker 1: was like what to me, Oh god, you know. So

497
00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,840
Speaker 1: I go back in and they put a catheter in

498
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 1: your uterus and you don't. You're on Vicadin. So it's

499
00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 1: it's more the mental of it. It's kind of weird,

500
00:24:48,960 --> 00:24:51,080
Speaker 1: but it doesn't hurt. It doesn't hurt at all. And

501
00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:53,480
Speaker 1: they essentially take your little embryo and they kind of

502
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 1: like shoot it into your uterus. And he said, I

503
00:24:58,280 --> 00:25:00,800
Speaker 1: was holding a picture of my dad and I was

504
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,520
Speaker 1: holding Dave's hand, and and dr put it in. And

505
00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,959
Speaker 1: he looked at us and he said, I would say,

506
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,160
Speaker 1: you have a sixty percent chance that this will work.

507
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:11,080
Speaker 1: And I've done everything I can and the rest is

508
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 1: up to God. And we just like cried and we

509
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,160
Speaker 1: thanked him profusely for giving us a chance, because again,

510
00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,680
Speaker 1: just to even get the chance to go thrive f

511
00:25:20,800 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: at that point was just such an uphill. Like I

512
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,360
Speaker 1: was like, thank God, I can't do this. So then

513
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 1: you go home and then you're just like you. It's

514
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 1: so weird. I laid basically horizontal, right, did they did

515
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,399
Speaker 1: they say that that helps? They basically tell you to

516
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 1: chill out. But I'm not on a run or some shing. No,

517
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:45,159
Speaker 1: But I did every like weird thing that doctors are. Like.

518
00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: They laughed when I said I was doing it, like

519
00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: they have a thing about if you eat pineapple core

520
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 1: after you and planned, it helps with implantations. So Dave

521
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,720
Speaker 1: found some organic pineapple in the middle of November, brought

522
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,080
Speaker 1: it home and we ate pineapple core. I watched comedies

523
00:25:58,200 --> 00:26:02,160
Speaker 1: because I wanted to feel light and like, I didn't

524
00:26:02,160 --> 00:26:04,480
Speaker 1: want it to bring him into the world under darkness.

525
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,920
Speaker 1: So we just rented comedies and like laid there and

526
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,600
Speaker 1: then ten days later, you go in and get your

527
00:26:09,600 --> 00:26:12,760
Speaker 1: blood drawn for a positive or negative. Do you remember

528
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:15,879
Speaker 1: that car right there? Oh? Yeah, yeah? Were you just

529
00:26:16,119 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 1: fucking flipping out? Where did you sleep at all those

530
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: ten nights? No? No, I didn't. And then I knew

531
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:22,920
Speaker 1: she was going to call me that afternoon, and I

532
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,560
Speaker 1: was I was at work, and I went home from

533
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,360
Speaker 1: work because I didn't want to receive the call at work.

534
00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:28,040
Speaker 1: I just knew I would be able to come back

535
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,159
Speaker 1: to it. And I was just pacing my house and

536
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:34,000
Speaker 1: she just said, Hey, it's the nurse. And she paused,

537
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 1: and she was like, do you want to know your results?

538
00:26:36,160 --> 00:26:37,880
Speaker 1: And I was like I do. She's a great sure

539
00:26:38,080 --> 00:26:41,639
Speaker 1: and I'm like I do, and she she cried and

540
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:45,720
Speaker 1: she said, Becky, you're pregnant. And I just I was

541
00:26:45,800 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: like like I couldn't. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't

542
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 1: believe it. I called Dave and I was like, ah,

543
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:58,440
Speaker 1: like work pregnant, Like no one going through actually things

544
00:26:58,520 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 1: past that part, like we all are just trying to

545
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,119
Speaker 1: get pregnant, you know. I was just excited that I

546
00:27:04,240 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: pete on something and it said pregnant like that? Was

547
00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:10,560
Speaker 1: I sorry? Like that like by one thousand pregnancy tests

548
00:27:10,600 --> 00:27:13,480
Speaker 1: right now? And I like, you know me, I'm not sentimental.

549
00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 1: I saved it because it was like I never worked

550
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: so hard for something on a stick, you know, so

551
00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:22,920
Speaker 1: um yeah, And then I had a whole another journey

552
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,520
Speaker 1: with obviously staying pregnant. That was a whole journey for me.

553
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 1: But did you continue seeing the high risk O B

554
00:27:29,359 --> 00:27:32,760
Speaker 1: through your whole pregnancy to a high risk O B

555
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:37,760
Speaker 1: three times a week? U ender chronologist, rheumatologists, fertility doctor,

556
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,719
Speaker 1: and regular old I had to go three or four

557
00:27:39,760 --> 00:27:41,879
Speaker 1: days a week to the doctor my entire pregnancy. How

558
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:43,800
Speaker 1: did you schedule that with your work? I would just

559
00:27:43,880 --> 00:27:46,040
Speaker 1: go very early and then go to work. It was

560
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,320
Speaker 1: it was like it was it was a full time

561
00:27:48,440 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 1: job staying pregnant. And when I was pregnant. Every time

562
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:53,840
Speaker 1: I go to a doctor, they'd be like, all right,

563
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,920
Speaker 1: day thirty seven, let's get you to day thirty eight,

564
00:27:57,160 --> 00:28:00,600
Speaker 1: like it was a day by day that's old our breath,

565
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,159
Speaker 1: and get you stay you know, to stay pregnant. And

566
00:28:03,240 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 1: did you also, I mean, I know the answer to this,

567
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:08,320
Speaker 1: but I think what you did so beautifully is like

568
00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,199
Speaker 1: you really stayed mentally. I feel like you did all

569
00:28:12,240 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 1: the things to mentally keep yourself as stable as possible

570
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,120
Speaker 1: for him, for miles inside you to not like freak

571
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,160
Speaker 1: out at any minute, like holy sh it, we've gotten

572
00:28:21,240 --> 00:28:24,360
Speaker 1: this far. And it could people get to your point

573
00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,560
Speaker 1: and they lose a baby, right, that's what I mean.

574
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,879
Speaker 1: And they can lose it it before three months, they

575
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:30,840
Speaker 1: can lose it after three months. But like, I feel

576
00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:34,600
Speaker 1: like you worked so hard to never entertain, like you

577
00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: stayed in a really positive place. Yeah yeah, I had to.

578
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Um I would ask this question, what's

579
00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,600
Speaker 1: the most challenging aspect of your IVF, But let's just

580
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:47,400
Speaker 1: go that it's everything. Yeah, it's really isolating, Like girls

581
00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 1: who are going through it feel like they're alone. They're

582
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: alone in their kitchen at night, mix you're mixing medicine.

583
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,440
Speaker 1: It's not like a They're like, here's a preloaded needle.

584
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:57,520
Speaker 1: They're like, you're gonna mix this powder with this liquid.

585
00:28:57,560 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: You're gonna inject it here and they're gonna put in

586
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 1: your back And like I was self injecting because Davis

587
00:29:01,200 --> 00:29:03,600
Speaker 1: out of town in my first round and you're just

588
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,320
Speaker 1: in your kitchen like what am I doing? And meanwhile,

589
00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:09,640
Speaker 1: like Kylie Jenner is getting knocked up and you're like, blow,

590
00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:14,240
Speaker 1: why is it so easy? Like when Megan Marco are pregnant,

591
00:29:14,280 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 1: I thought to myself, Oh, this is a bad day

592
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:19,880
Speaker 1: for a lot of girls, you know, like because you

593
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: see that ship and you're just like, come on, why

594
00:29:23,560 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 1: is it so easy? Like this is so crazy. So

595
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:29,200
Speaker 1: the hardest part is it's just unbelievably frustrating and isolating

596
00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:31,520
Speaker 1: and it's not at the pace that you want. But

597
00:29:31,640 --> 00:29:33,280
Speaker 1: that's how it is for everybody. So like, if you

598
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 1: know that you would hang out with anybody else during

599
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:37,720
Speaker 1: the time that had IBF, or like I know you

600
00:29:37,880 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 1: go sometimes to dr Sorry, I'm butchering this lovely man's

601
00:29:41,800 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 1: boosting far. You've been to his like he has like

602
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: a park party or something. All the babies he's made

603
00:29:48,400 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 1: go and you go with all these other women who

604
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,440
Speaker 1: have been through IVF and like crazy, and it is

605
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 1: called the Journeys celebration of life. This is what it's called.

606
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,440
Speaker 1: I mean, please, It's like I was like when I

607
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:01,000
Speaker 1: got the all that it was called that, I was like,

608
00:30:01,040 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 1: oh my god, and you like bring your baby to

609
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:07,640
Speaker 1: meet all the other babies that this man has created,

610
00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:11,600
Speaker 1: and you like, I like handed him when Myles looked

611
00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: like a gremlin at the time. I looked back on

612
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 1: photo and he and Lucy bars while I'm like cool,

613
00:30:17,400 --> 00:30:19,760
Speaker 1: I'm super glad I made him, but I like handed

614
00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,320
Speaker 1: in my baby. But no, I mean I had a

615
00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:24,600
Speaker 1: good friend who had been through IBF, so she I

616
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:28,320
Speaker 1: would text her quite often during IVY have needed that,

617
00:30:28,520 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 1: and it was just it would just say. I would

618
00:30:30,440 --> 00:30:32,880
Speaker 1: just be like, whoa, this sucks and she'd be like, yes,

619
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 1: it does. Like it was just nice to have somebody.

620
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 1: Did you have any other sort of IBF help? Like

621
00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:43,400
Speaker 1: are there online that people there are? And I mean

622
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:46,360
Speaker 1: I had a therapist who obviously like earned her money

623
00:30:46,440 --> 00:30:50,120
Speaker 1: those two years, like she was like working over time. Um,

624
00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,160
Speaker 1: so she cried I remember this. Oh yeah, I mean

625
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 1: we all. Remember she was like, we just really need

626
00:30:55,680 --> 00:30:58,080
Speaker 1: to win here. Yeah, Like I was taken down everyone

627
00:30:58,120 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: at that point. Everyone was crying from what advice would

628
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 1: you give people, um, who you know someone going through

629
00:31:06,680 --> 00:31:09,320
Speaker 1: IVF treatments? Or what are some things you should never

630
00:31:09,440 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 1: say to someone pursuing IVA. Actually I'm gonna give credit

631
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,800
Speaker 1: to Dave because I asked him this question last night

632
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 1: and he came up with the best answer, which was,

633
00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:20,479
Speaker 1: and I think you probably felt this way after your

634
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,200
Speaker 1: miscarriage what you've talked about. But when people say when

635
00:31:23,320 --> 00:31:25,800
Speaker 1: they ask you, what are you gonna have kids? Or

636
00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: like do you want a family? Are gonna have kids?

637
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 1: Like when people assume anyone who's married and they come

638
00:31:30,560 --> 00:31:31,800
Speaker 1: up to them and like you guys can have kids,

639
00:31:31,800 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: And it's like, you don't know what that person is

640
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:37,040
Speaker 1: going through. Maybe they're struggling, maybe they're going through IVF,

641
00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 1: like and now you've just upset them, and like, just

642
00:31:40,080 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 1: don't ask. Don't ask literally, just don't offer any information

643
00:31:44,200 --> 00:31:46,600
Speaker 1: if they want to. Yeah, and don't know. I just

644
00:31:46,760 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: think just to you know, whatever, people get married in

645
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:52,080
Speaker 1: the religions, like are you going to have a family?

646
00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,880
Speaker 1: Are you going to start having a family, like, I

647
00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,600
Speaker 1: love you want kids and you're sitting there like I've

648
00:31:56,640 --> 00:31:58,640
Speaker 1: been working on this uction, spending all my money for

649
00:31:58,720 --> 00:32:00,920
Speaker 1: three fucking years on trying You're like, I'm barren. How

650
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 1: are you were there any I think we touched on this,

651
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,640
Speaker 1: but books or resources and if you think of them

652
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: after this, because let me know because we can listen

653
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 1: them on Katie's crib. Um, what advice would you give

654
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:15,239
Speaker 1: to a woman listening to this right now who has

655
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,960
Speaker 1: been trying to have a baby for a long time

656
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,880
Speaker 1: and hasn't entertained the thought of IVF yet here's the thing, um.

657
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 1: First of all, if if they're going through it, I'm sorry,

658
00:32:26,840 --> 00:32:28,920
Speaker 1: and it's not fair and it's not how you thought

659
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 1: it was going to go. I'm really sorry because it sucks. Um.

660
00:32:33,760 --> 00:32:35,280
Speaker 1: A friend told me this when I was going through it,

661
00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: and I and she was right. You're going to get

662
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,200
Speaker 1: your baby and it might not be IVF, and it

663
00:32:40,280 --> 00:32:43,880
Speaker 1: might not be surrogacy, and it might be adoption, but

664
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 1: you were now on the path where you're working to

665
00:32:46,560 --> 00:32:49,720
Speaker 1: get your baby. So just know you're going to get

666
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,520
Speaker 1: your baby and that should give you some comfort. And

667
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:56,280
Speaker 1: I know it's not as fast as you wanted to happen,

668
00:32:56,760 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: but it's going to happen. And for anyone going through IBA,

669
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: if the other thing is like, um, you're already their mom,

670
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:09,200
Speaker 1: Like you don't know them, but you're already their mom,

671
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 1: because only moms can do that ship and to be

672
00:33:12,640 --> 00:33:16,280
Speaker 1: so selfless and to be injecting themselves, you were already

673
00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:21,400
Speaker 1: their mother. And and that gave me peace. I felt

674
00:33:21,440 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: like I was working for him as his mom, even

675
00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:27,560
Speaker 1: though I didn't even know he existed. You know. So Um,

676
00:33:27,720 --> 00:33:30,560
Speaker 1: in the meantime, like women need to protect themselves and

677
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: just survive. And if it means going off social media,

678
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:37,160
Speaker 1: which helped me tremendously, only surrounding yourself with people who

679
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 1: maybe don't have kids, that's okay too. Don't go to

680
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:44,720
Speaker 1: baby showers. Are you insane? Like reply quickly sorry, can't

681
00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,440
Speaker 1: make it. Put on your blinders, put your head down

682
00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,400
Speaker 1: and and get through it. And you're not alone to

683
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 1: doors down. Someone else is probably going through the same thing,

684
00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 1: or someone at your workout class probably going through the

685
00:33:55,400 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 1: same thing. You are not alone. Other onmen are doing this,

686
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:00,120
Speaker 1: especially in cities. You know, it's like we're all doing it.

687
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:05,040
Speaker 1: So take care of yourself and survive. Becky, this was like,

688
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:09,359
Speaker 1: I can't even like I love Myles often hiser so much.

689
00:34:09,480 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 1: I mean, besides, by these my kid's best friend, and

690
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,920
Speaker 1: he's thank God like Miles is like a head taller

691
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 1: than I'll be the smallest kid in the class and

692
00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:20,640
Speaker 1: Myles hopefully will always protect him because he's talk beautiful. Um,

693
00:34:21,080 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 1: thank you for being on Kate. Thank for sharing your

694
00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:25,520
Speaker 1: experience and your journey. I feel like this is so

695
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 1: important to talk about for women, and I think it's

696
00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 1: so important for women to hear. And I just think

697
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:37,720
Speaker 1: you're like the fucking most badass warrior goddess I've ever known. Okay, everybody,

698
00:34:37,880 --> 00:34:40,279
Speaker 1: Before I talk to my next guest, fertility specialist Dr

699
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:45,800
Speaker 1: Caroline Alexander, I have to tell you about this amazing hack, okay,

700
00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:47,800
Speaker 1: that has helped me as a mom, and it's just

701
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: helped me as a person in general. So I recently

702
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,920
Speaker 1: found out about this app called Drop. It's spelled d

703
00:34:53,680 --> 00:34:57,680
Speaker 1: r o P drop easy to remember, right. It has

704
00:34:57,719 --> 00:34:59,400
Speaker 1: been a hack for people like me who are moms

705
00:34:59,480 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 1: and multi taskers, you know, everyday girls that like to

706
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:04,279
Speaker 1: shop and get everything we need for the household. You know, Hello,

707
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,600
Speaker 1: we're here, we're multitasking. We're getting a lot of stuff

708
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,920
Speaker 1: done at once. I love an app that helps with that,

709
00:35:09,080 --> 00:35:11,319
Speaker 1: and this is that. Let me tell you how it works.

710
00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:13,919
Speaker 1: What you need to do super easy, link your devort

711
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: a credit card to the app when you sign up,

712
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:17,800
Speaker 1: and then you're done. You just shop like you normally

713
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:20,520
Speaker 1: do what your favorite stores. For example, for me, like

714
00:35:20,800 --> 00:35:23,000
Speaker 1: it's when I get my groceries and Trader shows or

715
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:27,080
Speaker 1: CBS for diapers, or Starbucks for my caffeine, or Uber

716
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: to meet up with my friends. The list goes on

717
00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:31,080
Speaker 1: and on and on. And since you've linked your card,

718
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: the app recognizes when you spend with its partner brands

719
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:38,200
Speaker 1: and rewards you points every time you shop. I love

720
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:41,720
Speaker 1: me a point. The points are then redeemable for gift cards.

721
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 1: Love me a gift card to a whole bunch of

722
00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,879
Speaker 1: other stores like Sephora, for example, or Amazon, which I'm

723
00:35:47,920 --> 00:35:51,399
Speaker 1: on way too much, Target for more diapers, Whole Foods, Lula, Lemon,

724
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,360
Speaker 1: more Starbucks, and a whole gang of others. This is

725
00:35:54,480 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: seriously a way to save money and get back for

726
00:35:56,640 --> 00:35:59,239
Speaker 1: all the shopping we are already doing. There's so many

727
00:35:59,280 --> 00:36:01,799
Speaker 1: everyday brands any shop it anyway. So I've been able

728
00:36:01,840 --> 00:36:05,680
Speaker 1: to accumulate you guys so many points. Now, because I

729
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,800
Speaker 1: love Drop so much, I wanted to make sure that

730
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 1: all of you get a chance to use this amazing

731
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,120
Speaker 1: life act. So go ahead, head on over to the

732
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:16,680
Speaker 1: App Store or Google Play and download and sign up

733
00:36:16,719 --> 00:36:19,759
Speaker 1: with Drop. Use my code Katie's Crib, and you will

734
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:22,920
Speaker 1: receive a five dollar Starbucks gift card immediately. Once you

735
00:36:23,000 --> 00:36:25,279
Speaker 1: link your card, You're welcome. Make sure you link a

736
00:36:25,320 --> 00:36:28,280
Speaker 1: card and verify your email address. Share this with anyone

737
00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:30,799
Speaker 1: and everyone you know to help them out with free

738
00:36:30,880 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 1: caffeine or free cookies. I love a cookie too. Okay,

739
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,919
Speaker 1: let's get back to Katie's grip. Guys. I am here

740
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:43,120
Speaker 1: and now with Dr Caroline Alexander. Dr Alexander is a

741
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,680
Speaker 1: reproductive end to chronologist and fertility specialist, and she is

742
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:48,840
Speaker 1: going to break down these facts about IVF. Can you

743
00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:51,840
Speaker 1: first tell us a little bit about yourself and about

744
00:36:51,840 --> 00:36:55,080
Speaker 1: your practice? Sure? I grew up in Los Angeles and

745
00:36:55,239 --> 00:37:00,360
Speaker 1: I went to c l A. Go Bruins, um but

746
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:03,440
Speaker 1: I love usc too. But anyway, I and I went

747
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,920
Speaker 1: to med school at East l A. And then I

748
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,800
Speaker 1: lived in Baltimore for seven years and trained at Johns

749
00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:12,400
Speaker 1: Hopkins Hospital for O. B. D An Residency and Fellowship.

750
00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,279
Speaker 1: And Um, I have two kids. I live in l A.

751
00:37:16,520 --> 00:37:18,640
Speaker 1: I love it here. I'm so happy to be back home.

752
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:22,960
Speaker 1: Two boys are six and eight. What do I have

753
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:25,360
Speaker 1: looking down the barrel of me? How is lots of

754
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 1: wrestling and rough house play? Is that really what it is?

755
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:32,680
Speaker 1: That is what it is? He does that now big time.

756
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:37,480
Speaker 1: It's like biting, hitting, throwing. It's unbelievable. Also, he's a toddler. Um,

757
00:37:38,480 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 1: how how did you choose that this was like what

758
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,000
Speaker 1: you wanted to do? It's a that's such a great question.

759
00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I was inspired by my father. He's an

760
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: oh B G A N. And I always saw how

761
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:53,640
Speaker 1: passionate and dedicated he was to delivering babies and helping

762
00:37:53,719 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 1: women and protecting women and all these years. He did

763
00:37:57,200 --> 00:38:02,080
Speaker 1: it for forty years, and I knew I wanted to

764
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:04,960
Speaker 1: be a Noboduan. But then when I was at Hopkins,

765
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 1: they um encouraged me to do research projects. I got

766
00:38:09,040 --> 00:38:13,200
Speaker 1: to work with amazing mentors who really inspired me to

767
00:38:13,560 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: pursue fertility treatment and help women, empower women to protect

768
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: their future fertility, and it really was such a journey

769
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:28,160
Speaker 1: really to get to this point. So here's a big

770
00:38:28,360 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 1: question for you. What is IVF. IVF is the process.

771
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,880
Speaker 1: It's a step by step process where we grow eggs

772
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:41,080
Speaker 1: or follicles in the ovaries, were born with our eggs

773
00:38:41,120 --> 00:38:44,439
Speaker 1: in our ovaries, and we carefully remove the eggs through

774
00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:48,920
Speaker 1: a surgery and then inject the sperm into the eggs,

775
00:38:49,000 --> 00:38:52,400
Speaker 1: which is called x C or intra cytoplasmic sperm injection,

776
00:38:52,960 --> 00:38:55,720
Speaker 1: as well as we can place the egg with twenty

777
00:38:56,160 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 1: sperm in a dish and allow the egg to fertilize. Wait,

778
00:39:01,120 --> 00:39:04,759
Speaker 1: that's how that happens. Wait, excuse me. When you fertilize

779
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,080
Speaker 1: and make an embryo in a peatrie dish that will

780
00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 1: hopefully at some point be implanted into a mom you

781
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,840
Speaker 1: put the egg in a peatree dish and then you

782
00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,080
Speaker 1: put a lot of sperm in that peatrie dish. In

783
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,239
Speaker 1: my head, I just thought you picked one sperm. But

784
00:39:19,320 --> 00:39:21,359
Speaker 1: that is obviously the dumbest thing in the entire world.

785
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:25,680
Speaker 1: We do. If the sperm is not perfect, or if

786
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:29,320
Speaker 1: the woman's older has endometriosis, where the outer rim of

787
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,440
Speaker 1: the egg may not allow the best sperm to wiggle in.

788
00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:37,640
Speaker 1: So so in some cases you do select sperm. How

789
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:38,920
Speaker 1: in the hell do you do that? Is there a

790
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,680
Speaker 1: machine for that? There's a high power microscope and that

791
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,840
Speaker 1: individual is really well trained to pick the best looking

792
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:48,759
Speaker 1: with the tweezer from yeah, with a little I mean,

793
00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,480
Speaker 1: I just think this is this is unbelievable. What you

794
00:39:51,600 --> 00:40:00,120
Speaker 1: do is unbelievable. It's so fascinating doing this from real

795
00:40:00,200 --> 00:40:02,200
Speaker 1: layman's terms, for me, taking eggs out of a woman,

796
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,760
Speaker 1: putting them in a petri dish with a bunch of sperm,

797
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:08,359
Speaker 1: making an embryo, and then implanting that embryo into a uterus. Yes,

798
00:40:08,520 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: in another part, step in another step, but IVF includes

799
00:40:12,760 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 1: all those steps under its umbrella. Exactly who a plus

800
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:19,640
Speaker 1: for me? Can you take us through? So women? No,

801
00:40:19,840 --> 00:40:23,400
Speaker 1: I think this is like so helpful. Like this, what

802
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:27,840
Speaker 1: exactly happens to a women's body when they're doing an

803
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:30,840
Speaker 1: egg retrieval? So like they come into the doctor's office,

804
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:34,759
Speaker 1: they're put in scrubs and or no scrubs, hello, too

805
00:40:34,840 --> 00:40:38,560
Speaker 1: much graze anatomy people. Um, they're put in a nightgown

806
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: and they get put under Yes, they get twilight or

807
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 1: light sedation, okay, and then what do you do? And

808
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:49,759
Speaker 1: then we um clean out the vachina from how do

809
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:54,400
Speaker 1: you do that with carefully but with a little syringe gently,

810
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:58,279
Speaker 1: with a little syringe with a special fluid that is

811
00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:02,800
Speaker 1: not toxic to the eggs, and so you like turkey

812
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: based sort of a fluid into the vagina, so it

813
00:41:05,680 --> 00:41:09,040
Speaker 1: gets cleaned out exactly what empty the bladder with a

814
00:41:09,120 --> 00:41:14,560
Speaker 1: little cafeter and then through an ultrasound guided sheath, so

815
00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 1: there's a protective sheath, a thin needle is placed in

816
00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:23,560
Speaker 1: and under ultrasound guidance, we poke directly through the skin

817
00:41:23,640 --> 00:41:26,920
Speaker 1: of the vagina into the ovary into the follicle, which

818
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 1: we can see clearly, which is like a fluid filled

819
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 1: sack that has a microscopic egg inside. So there is

820
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:40,080
Speaker 1: a sheet like a penis type machine thing that gets

821
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:43,520
Speaker 1: inserted into the vagina and it has a little tiny

822
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 1: needle at the end of it, and that sheath penis

823
00:41:46,880 --> 00:41:51,160
Speaker 1: shaped thingy can stick this needle into your ovary and

824
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 1: pull out eggs. Yes, well, we don't have the needle

825
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 1: in when we place the probe we call it a probe.

826
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 1: Of course, that would be fucking horrible. Yeah, the needle

827
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:02,800
Speaker 1: doesn't come out until later. So first you place the

828
00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:04,640
Speaker 1: probe and this is all happening while you're in twilight,

829
00:42:04,680 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 1: so like you don't feel on you And we position

830
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 1: as many follicles as we can kind of in a

831
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: line so that we don't pokee you know, we we

832
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: limit as many times as we can poking. How do

833
00:42:16,600 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 1: you put the follicles in a line? Um, using a

834
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:24,880
Speaker 1: little pressure and sometimes just positioning. Oh I see okay,

835
00:42:24,960 --> 00:42:27,440
Speaker 1: So then that would be the egg retrieval part. Then

836
00:42:28,640 --> 00:42:32,279
Speaker 1: what happens? How do you instruct women that I know

837
00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,960
Speaker 1: there's like shots involved, Like women have to give themselves

838
00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:39,799
Speaker 1: shots before the retrieval exactly? Um, where do women give

839
00:42:39,880 --> 00:42:43,280
Speaker 1: themselves these shots? In their gut? In there in the tummy,

840
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:47,160
Speaker 1: not near the belly button? So we you pretend there's

841
00:42:47,200 --> 00:42:49,600
Speaker 1: a circle around your belly button and just go about

842
00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 1: an inch away and are the needles that you're and

843
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,279
Speaker 1: are you giving yourself shots every day? Twice a day

844
00:42:54,840 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 1: is a different depending on the person. It's different depending

845
00:42:57,480 --> 00:43:00,080
Speaker 1: on the person, but typically there in the evening and

846
00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:05,600
Speaker 1: occasionally we have to take three shots. And how are

847
00:43:05,640 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 1: the shots for two weeks leading up to the retrieval,

848
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:12,480
Speaker 1: it averages nine to twelve days. It depends. Um. Do

849
00:43:12,560 --> 00:43:15,080
Speaker 1: people have major side effects from those shots and the

850
00:43:15,320 --> 00:43:17,839
Speaker 1: and the hormones that are in them. I've noticed when

851
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 1: we encourage them to eat really clean, like avoid carbs

852
00:43:21,640 --> 00:43:25,479
Speaker 1: and eat really healthy, there's less mood swings and less

853
00:43:25,640 --> 00:43:29,840
Speaker 1: bloating and discomfort and less constipation because we encourage them

854
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 1: to eat a lot of vegetables. UM. And it can

855
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,759
Speaker 1: be headaches of you know, really thirsty, so you have

856
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,439
Speaker 1: to drink a lot of water. And for those twelve

857
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:43,480
Speaker 1: days that you're giving yourself the shots, it's recommended that

858
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: you don't do like crazy heavy workouts. Um. You could

859
00:43:47,280 --> 00:43:52,080
Speaker 1: feel like you said, bloating, headaches, UM, fatigue. Is there

860
00:43:52,080 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: anything else? It's important to take a long walk or

861
00:43:54,800 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: thirty to forty minute walk. I always say, get fresh air,

862
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 1: get your circulation moving. You can do light arm weights,

863
00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 1: but no squats and no core because we don't want

864
00:44:04,400 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 1: anyone to flip the ovary, which doesn't happen. It's just

865
00:44:07,560 --> 00:44:10,239
Speaker 1: a very rare phenomenon. Yeah, I was hearing about this

866
00:44:10,280 --> 00:44:14,560
Speaker 1: from a friend. So if you've been if you are

867
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:17,200
Speaker 1: doing these shots and your ovaries are sort of an

868
00:44:17,280 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: overdrive during this twelve day period before an eggriage revolt.

869
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 1: If you do a bunch of like sort of jumping,

870
00:44:24,120 --> 00:44:26,800
Speaker 1: working out or things like that, your ovary can flip.

871
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:32,520
Speaker 1: Why does that happen in life? Like? What is that? Thankfully,

872
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 1: in these fifteen years, it hasn't happened, but it can happen,

873
00:44:35,680 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 1: and that is a phenomenon where the ovaries cycle water

874
00:44:38,400 --> 00:44:41,040
Speaker 1: bowing Albee right now, that's my son. He just woke

875
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:48,000
Speaker 1: up from his knapp Um. So it hasn't happened in

876
00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:49,719
Speaker 1: your fifteen years of experience, but it can't happen. It

877
00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:54,320
Speaker 1: can't happen. And then does it flip back? We we

878
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:57,120
Speaker 1: sometimes have to flip it back with a surgery. Is

879
00:44:57,200 --> 00:45:01,560
Speaker 1: that painful? A little bit? God? That sounds like a nightmare. Okay,

880
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:03,840
Speaker 1: So we're just gonna hope that doesn't happen. Um, the

881
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 1: agorage trie will happens. And then as soon as the

882
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,920
Speaker 1: agorage people does happen. What are your symptoms post retrieval

883
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:11,000
Speaker 1: or is it like you have a bad period? Like,

884
00:45:11,280 --> 00:45:13,919
Speaker 1: what is it is? They're bleeding? Cramping? What's the deal?

885
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:16,520
Speaker 1: I say it's a little like p MS gone wild

886
00:45:16,600 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 1: because you know, we all know how that feels. But

887
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:23,960
Speaker 1: if it does feel initially because the estrogen drops dramatically

888
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:27,279
Speaker 1: because you were just shooting yourself up with estrogen. Now

889
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:32,000
Speaker 1: you're not using fs H, which bumps up your estrogen,

890
00:45:32,120 --> 00:45:35,439
Speaker 1: and then it goes down pretty briskly. So, especially people

891
00:45:35,440 --> 00:45:38,479
Speaker 1: who are sensitive to hormone shifts, I always say, don't worry,

892
00:45:38,520 --> 00:45:41,160
Speaker 1: you're going to ride this wave. It doesn't feel very good,

893
00:45:41,200 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 1: but it'll you'll get through it a couple of days

894
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:45,520
Speaker 1: where you feel a little out of sorts and then

895
00:45:45,560 --> 00:45:49,480
Speaker 1: it gets better. Great, So now walk me through like

896
00:45:49,760 --> 00:45:55,440
Speaker 1: medically in Katie's crib terms, the implantation process. Do you

897
00:45:55,520 --> 00:45:58,840
Speaker 1: have to give yourself shots for that? Sometimes we do,

898
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:03,440
Speaker 1: and it's called in a muscular progesterone. It's a injection

899
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:07,680
Speaker 1: in oil of progesterone that actually lets the level be steady,

900
00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 1: so it helps make the uterus sticky for that embryoto

901
00:46:11,239 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 1: stick the best it can. Not everybody uses intramuscular progesterone.

902
00:46:15,760 --> 00:46:19,799
Speaker 1: Sometimes we just use vaginal progesterone. So some cases you'll

903
00:46:19,840 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 1: have to do the shots before the implantation process, but

904
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:25,200
Speaker 1: that's not everybody, not everybody, And are the shots given

905
00:46:25,239 --> 00:46:27,759
Speaker 1: the same place in the stomach, not near the belly button,

906
00:46:27,880 --> 00:46:31,640
Speaker 1: no upper outer buttock, and you rotate every other day

907
00:46:31,920 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 1: each side, and you do continue it till you know,

908
00:46:35,640 --> 00:46:39,719
Speaker 1: till you're right at that into the pregnancy. Oh, into

909
00:46:39,760 --> 00:46:44,319
Speaker 1: the pregnancy. Wow, walk me through the implantation process. Are

910
00:46:44,400 --> 00:46:47,400
Speaker 1: you under twilight again or no? Some people take a

911
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:51,320
Speaker 1: volume and some women don't need anything, and you're you

912
00:46:51,400 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: can be awake. We put some nice music, I joke,

913
00:46:54,280 --> 00:46:59,840
Speaker 1: it's our romantic moment, but basically small, kind of like

914
00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:03,440
Speaker 1: the pops here we could go in. We're actually trying

915
00:47:03,480 --> 00:47:06,800
Speaker 1: to take our speculum used, speculum used, and then we

916
00:47:06,960 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: clean off the mucus and then with a thin, thin

917
00:47:10,440 --> 00:47:13,640
Speaker 1: wobbly catheter, so we try to not let the euters

918
00:47:13,719 --> 00:47:16,840
Speaker 1: cramp right and one of the uterus to be super calm,

919
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: super into it exactly. The art of distraction is very key.

920
00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:28,080
Speaker 1: And then under ultrasound guidance, we place the embryo in

921
00:47:28,239 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 1: without touching the top part of the uterus so it

922
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 1: doesn't contract. So when you you've said the skill time

923
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 1: and that ultrasound guidance, do you mean that's the vaginal

924
00:47:38,239 --> 00:47:42,080
Speaker 1: ultrasound right this time? It's abdominal. Oh, so the ones

925
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 1: that you see in all the movies with the jelly,

926
00:47:44,160 --> 00:47:47,520
Speaker 1: and it's outside your stomach. So when you're being implanted,

927
00:47:47,600 --> 00:47:50,400
Speaker 1: there's nothing else in your vagina except for a wobbly

928
00:47:50,480 --> 00:47:54,719
Speaker 1: sort of flexible plastic little tube catheter exactly, super thin.

929
00:47:55,600 --> 00:47:59,080
Speaker 1: Well that doesn't seem painful at all, is there. And

930
00:47:59,200 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 1: you have to have a a full bladder, which is

931
00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:07,480
Speaker 1: what why we can see properly about this bladder situation.

932
00:48:07,560 --> 00:48:10,320
Speaker 1: So that's really the most uncomfortable thing for women in

933
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:13,880
Speaker 1: the implantation part exactly. And we can drain the bladder

934
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:19,080
Speaker 1: promptly once thumbrios in if someone really feels like super uncomfortable,

935
00:48:19,120 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 1: because we encourage them to lay there a little bit

936
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:26,000
Speaker 1: tilted downwards for about fifteen We used to do thirty,

937
00:48:26,080 --> 00:48:27,719
Speaker 1: We used to do forty five minutes, but now we

938
00:48:28,160 --> 00:48:31,920
Speaker 1: hang on. Get real sticky, right, it can't fall out

939
00:48:32,040 --> 00:48:36,520
Speaker 1: or anything. Right, This is you must just be on

940
00:48:36,640 --> 00:48:41,040
Speaker 1: those days. How many of those do you do a week? Many? Really?

941
00:48:41,800 --> 00:48:45,240
Speaker 1: You know, we we're a group of doctors at SCRC,

942
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 1: and we all have our own patients. We don't cross

943
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 1: cover patients. And a day where you wake up and

944
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:53,160
Speaker 1: you're like, we're getting someone pregnant today, Like, is that

945
00:48:53,320 --> 00:48:56,000
Speaker 1: just like an incredible feeling? I hope that that one

946
00:48:56,120 --> 00:48:58,440
Speaker 1: is so positive compared to the ones where you're just like,

947
00:48:59,560 --> 00:49:02,719
Speaker 1: if they've through one or two rounds of IVF and

948
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:06,960
Speaker 1: that and it hasn't taken, that must just be I

949
00:49:07,120 --> 00:49:10,760
Speaker 1: literally I can't even imagine. Are there myths about IVF

950
00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:13,160
Speaker 1: that you want to take the opportunity to just throw

951
00:49:13,239 --> 00:49:16,640
Speaker 1: them the hell out the door right here, right now? Well,

952
00:49:16,800 --> 00:49:19,440
Speaker 1: I believe that there's always a good egg, whether it's

953
00:49:19,480 --> 00:49:25,360
Speaker 1: you said that. Even when we're doing the retrieval, I think, oh,

954
00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:27,359
Speaker 1: what if this is our blessed egg for the month.

955
00:49:27,440 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 1: You know, like we don't know which is going to

956
00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:32,000
Speaker 1: give us the best embryo, so we do the best

957
00:49:32,080 --> 00:49:35,080
Speaker 1: we can. But I think the most important thing is

958
00:49:35,200 --> 00:49:38,719
Speaker 1: age matters. Even though you know, I feel it to

959
00:49:39,120 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 1: being in my mid forties and feeling that that sense

960
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:46,640
Speaker 1: that I want my biological clock to continue, but it's realistically,

961
00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:50,120
Speaker 1: as we get into our forties, time is of the essence,

962
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 1: and we, you know, want to be as natural as

963
00:49:53,440 --> 00:49:55,719
Speaker 1: we can be because we get us often can we

964
00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:59,840
Speaker 1: be as natural as possible? But realistically, UM, the genetics

965
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,200
Speaker 1: of our eggs does start to change when we turn

966
00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:06,359
Speaker 1: thirty five, and so I think age matters unless someone

967
00:50:06,520 --> 00:50:08,880
Speaker 1: really has a lot of eggs frozen from the past.

968
00:50:09,480 --> 00:50:12,919
Speaker 1: We can use um, don't or eggs till we turn

969
00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:16,360
Speaker 1: into our mid fifties, as long as we're healthy in

970
00:50:16,480 --> 00:50:19,959
Speaker 1: our you know. So if you were someone who froze

971
00:50:19,960 --> 00:50:22,120
Speaker 1: their eggs at thirty two, you could implant those eggs

972
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,400
Speaker 1: at forty four. Is that that because that's sort of

973
00:50:24,440 --> 00:50:27,040
Speaker 1: like the cut off date you were saying, right, is

974
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:31,440
Speaker 1: when you can use them to fifty five. But um,

975
00:50:31,760 --> 00:50:34,719
Speaker 1: in a surrogate or something like that. But SCRC, would

976
00:50:34,760 --> 00:50:37,800
Speaker 1: you implant and an older woman than is it a

977
00:50:37,840 --> 00:50:39,879
Speaker 1: case by case? And that it's a case by case

978
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:42,239
Speaker 1: we have into the fifties, but they have to have

979
00:50:42,320 --> 00:50:48,200
Speaker 1: a normal e k G, normal mamogram, normal health. Exactly. Wow,

980
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:51,520
Speaker 1: this is so, this is really amazing because I have

981
00:50:51,680 --> 00:50:55,399
Speaker 1: so many friends right now who are freezing their eggs UM,

982
00:50:55,840 --> 00:50:57,480
Speaker 1: which I know is different from I v F, but

983
00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:00,919
Speaker 1: sort of similar in process. At least it's the same

984
00:51:01,080 --> 00:51:03,680
Speaker 1: for the egg retreable part exactly. It's the first part

985
00:51:04,120 --> 00:51:05,919
Speaker 1: that we do. And as much as we sit here,

986
00:51:06,239 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 1: and I'm such a huge advocate of women, like, you know,

987
00:51:10,400 --> 00:51:11,880
Speaker 1: you should be able to have a baby whenever the

988
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:13,239
Speaker 1: hell you want. If you don't want to have a

989
00:51:13,280 --> 00:51:15,480
Speaker 1: baby till you're in your forties, have a baby in

990
00:51:15,520 --> 00:51:17,799
Speaker 1: your forties. And then we sit here and we talk

991
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:22,319
Speaker 1: about the actual science and medical things that we were

992
00:51:22,320 --> 00:51:25,520
Speaker 1: talking about here, and there you're you can't, you know,

993
00:51:25,600 --> 00:51:29,600
Speaker 1: I mean, it just gets much harder. Um. I remember

994
00:51:29,760 --> 00:51:33,479
Speaker 1: you and I first met when I was like thirty three.

995
00:51:34,040 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 1: I was thinking I was still years away from having

996
00:51:36,600 --> 00:51:40,560
Speaker 1: a baby, and I just said to my ob Dr

997
00:51:40,719 --> 00:51:42,320
Speaker 1: Laney Commence, I said, you know, let's just do that

998
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:44,360
Speaker 1: blood test about how many eggs I had and it

999
00:51:44,480 --> 00:51:47,160
Speaker 1: came back really low. And she was like, if I

1000
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:50,040
Speaker 1: were you, I would freeze your eggs. And so that's

1001
00:51:50,080 --> 00:51:52,400
Speaker 1: where I met you to have my like egg freezing consultation,

1002
00:51:52,520 --> 00:51:55,520
Speaker 1: and it was really empowering to just get the research

1003
00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 1: and get the knowledge. And I think what happened was

1004
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:01,600
Speaker 1: my husband and I changed our mind actually from that

1005
00:52:01,680 --> 00:52:03,840
Speaker 1: conversation was do we want to freeze eggs or do

1006
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:06,439
Speaker 1: we just want to start trying and if we try

1007
00:52:06,600 --> 00:52:08,440
Speaker 1: for six months to a year and start having issues,

1008
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,960
Speaker 1: then maybe we um, we'll go down this path. But

1009
00:52:12,160 --> 00:52:15,560
Speaker 1: it was getting that research was a huge instigator for

1010
00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:19,080
Speaker 1: us of like, well let's just let's just start trying. Um.

1011
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:21,800
Speaker 1: But I'm going through it with a lot of girlfriends

1012
00:52:21,920 --> 00:52:25,360
Speaker 1: right now holding their hands getting their eggs frozen, and

1013
00:52:25,440 --> 00:52:29,760
Speaker 1: it's an amazing process and so empowering and so great

1014
00:52:29,840 --> 00:52:32,640
Speaker 1: to hear that, you know, whether or not they want

1015
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:37,000
Speaker 1: to have a baby, you know, single with a partner,

1016
00:52:37,200 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 1: make it an embryo later, what are the odds of um,

1017
00:52:42,080 --> 00:52:47,120
Speaker 1: you have much better chance you only implants an embryo, right, correct? Um?

1018
00:52:47,960 --> 00:52:49,480
Speaker 1: I don't even know where I was going with a statement,

1019
00:52:49,480 --> 00:52:51,480
Speaker 1: you guys, mombrane is a real thing. We need a

1020
00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: lot of eggs to have a healthy baby, you know,

1021
00:52:54,400 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 1: down the road, and depending on the woman's age, there

1022
00:52:57,320 --> 00:53:01,120
Speaker 1: are little graphs we can you know, discuss in terms

1023
00:53:01,160 --> 00:53:03,880
Speaker 1: of how many eggs realists that could give a chance

1024
00:53:04,040 --> 00:53:07,040
Speaker 1: for pregnancy. I wish we could say there was a guarantee,

1025
00:53:07,080 --> 00:53:10,880
Speaker 1: but there isn't you know, Um, you retreat on average,

1026
00:53:10,920 --> 00:53:14,640
Speaker 1: what ten eggs out of a woman that would be great? Correct? Right?

1027
00:53:14,760 --> 00:53:20,320
Speaker 1: And then ten drops down to so to survive the

1028
00:53:20,440 --> 00:53:25,320
Speaker 1: thought and then depending one they're depending on the male factor.

1029
00:53:25,840 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 1: So if his semen analysis is abnormal, before we thought

1030
00:53:28,840 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 1: the precious eggs, we make sure he takes vitamins, avoids, marijuana, avoids,

1031
00:53:33,360 --> 00:53:36,160
Speaker 1: you know, tobacco and heart alcohol and stuff like that,

1032
00:53:36,680 --> 00:53:39,520
Speaker 1: and and have him improved so that when we saw

1033
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:41,640
Speaker 1: the eggs the best we get the best quality sperm

1034
00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:45,640
Speaker 1: we can use and then around you know, se can

1035
00:53:45,719 --> 00:53:49,960
Speaker 1: fertilize and then depending on the genetics of those eggs,

1036
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:55,759
Speaker 1: we can get some embryos from there. UM. When someone

1037
00:53:55,960 --> 00:53:58,520
Speaker 1: I was I love this, Like, when someone's choosing an

1038
00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:01,880
Speaker 1: IVF doctor, what sort of questions should they be asking?

1039
00:54:01,920 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 1: Are there questions that you wish people asked more of? Um?

1040
00:54:05,840 --> 00:54:08,120
Speaker 1: How does someone even go about choosing I feel like

1041
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:11,600
Speaker 1: it's such a specific and intimate relationships someone with their

1042
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:14,560
Speaker 1: ib F doctor. You're really involved in getting this couple

1043
00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:17,640
Speaker 1: pregnant or this single woman pregnant. How does someone go

1044
00:54:17,640 --> 00:54:20,640
Speaker 1: about choosing you or choosing their doctor. I think it's

1045
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:24,480
Speaker 1: a sense of confidence and trust in that individual. UM.

1046
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:27,920
Speaker 1: Occasionally it's the referring doctors known them for years and

1047
00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:31,879
Speaker 1: has a good UM success with prior pregnancies as well.

1048
00:54:32,600 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 1: Um part of it is the lab our embryology team

1049
00:54:36,239 --> 00:54:39,640
Speaker 1: works really hard to get healthy embryos, same with all

1050
00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,800
Speaker 1: the embryology teams. But I think it's important that's a

1051
00:54:42,920 --> 00:54:46,600
Speaker 1: big piece of the puzzle is to get healthy embryos

1052
00:54:46,680 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 1: through the lab facility. So you would have encourage when

1053
00:54:50,640 --> 00:54:54,320
Speaker 1: to ask questions about their embryo facility for excuse me,

1054
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,880
Speaker 1: their embryo facility like and also what the success rate

1055
00:54:57,960 --> 00:55:00,920
Speaker 1: they have at that office and that doctor as exactly.

1056
00:55:01,960 --> 00:55:04,600
Speaker 1: And the success rate depends on the pool of women

1057
00:55:04,680 --> 00:55:07,800
Speaker 1: we see. Sometimes we see breast cancer patients, lots of

1058
00:55:08,040 --> 00:55:13,280
Speaker 1: complicated cases, so you know, success can vary. But realistically,

1059
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:15,640
Speaker 1: in the end, we you know, doing the best we

1060
00:55:15,719 --> 00:55:19,840
Speaker 1: can for every couple or every person. So tell me

1061
00:55:20,360 --> 00:55:22,799
Speaker 1: what are the reasons that someone comes to you when

1062
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,080
Speaker 1: they do age factor, so the age of the woman

1063
00:55:26,280 --> 00:55:29,719
Speaker 1: or the man, uterine factor where the uterus might have

1064
00:55:29,880 --> 00:55:33,080
Speaker 1: an issue that she can't hold the pregnancy or um

1065
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 1: fibroids and endometriosis and things like that. Um fallopian tubes

1066
00:55:38,800 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 1: can be closed, which is a big issue. That's why

1067
00:55:42,239 --> 00:55:47,080
Speaker 1: egg and sperm can't meet male factor, which happens often too,

1068
00:55:47,400 --> 00:55:51,440
Speaker 1: and then the unexplained um infertility, which is a bit

1069
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:55,000
Speaker 1: frustrating because we can't figure out a reason. And um,

1070
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:59,920
Speaker 1: that's an important category. Um. What are some of the

1071
00:56:00,000 --> 00:56:02,880
Speaker 1: things that women considering IBF should consider, like, is it

1072
00:56:03,040 --> 00:56:06,080
Speaker 1: is it a good choice for every thing for anyone

1073
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:08,120
Speaker 1: to do it? Is there an age limit to IVF?

1074
00:56:09,280 --> 00:56:12,120
Speaker 1: There there's we have an f X committee at SCRC

1075
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:16,120
Speaker 1: that we discussed, but basically for egg freezing we go

1076
00:56:16,280 --> 00:56:19,600
Speaker 1: to age forty four, but it's controversial between age forty

1077
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:22,320
Speaker 1: to forty four because you need a lot of eggs

1078
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:25,520
Speaker 1: to have a real chance an opportunity for a healthy baby.

1079
00:56:26,000 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 1: What's the success rate of IVF? It depends on the

1080
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:32,400
Speaker 1: woman's age as well as the paternal age or the

1081
00:56:32,520 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 1: sperms age um. But at around thirty five years old,

1082
00:56:36,640 --> 00:56:39,320
Speaker 1: the chances are you know, that we can get a

1083
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:43,600
Speaker 1: healthy embryo can range around. But once we have a

1084
00:56:43,680 --> 00:56:48,239
Speaker 1: healthy embryo, we've been ranging around seventy percent pregnancy now,

1085
00:56:48,440 --> 00:56:51,239
Speaker 1: So once you have one embryo in the petri dish

1086
00:56:51,320 --> 00:56:54,840
Speaker 1: that's looking real good. You have about a sixty and

1087
00:56:54,920 --> 00:56:57,160
Speaker 1: seventy percent chance that when you would plant that embryo,

1088
00:56:57,239 --> 00:57:03,040
Speaker 1: it will stick and carry. Yeah, Um, what happens if

1089
00:57:03,080 --> 00:57:06,560
Speaker 1: a woman doesn't become pregnant in the first try. Oh god,

1090
00:57:06,880 --> 00:57:09,719
Speaker 1: that must be a real terrible call to make. The

1091
00:57:09,840 --> 00:57:13,720
Speaker 1: whole staff and our whole team, we really get into

1092
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 1: it with the patients, get really on such a journey

1093
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,800
Speaker 1: with them. We're all heartbroken at that moment, but we

1094
00:57:19,920 --> 00:57:22,560
Speaker 1: start tackling is it the immune system? Could she have

1095
00:57:22,640 --> 00:57:26,280
Speaker 1: a blood clotting issue? Um, perhaps you know, we need

1096
00:57:26,360 --> 00:57:30,439
Speaker 1: to modify her body way, you know, depending on that. Yeah.

1097
00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:32,800
Speaker 1: We I have a friend, um who's on this podcast,

1098
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 1: Becky Offenheiser, who Yes, she had to find out before

1099
00:57:36,160 --> 00:57:40,160
Speaker 1: she did implantation. Thank god. She went to a rheumatory room. No,

1100
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:41,880
Speaker 1: no end of chronologist. I don't know who it was,

1101
00:57:41,960 --> 00:57:44,440
Speaker 1: but who you know diagnosed her with lupus and the

1102
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 1: blood clotting disease. She had to be on blood thinners

1103
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:49,720
Speaker 1: the whole time. So do you find that a lot

1104
00:57:49,760 --> 00:57:51,920
Speaker 1: of women have that kind of stuff. It does happen

1105
00:57:52,080 --> 00:57:55,000
Speaker 1: quite often. We check the immune panel before we do

1106
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:59,600
Speaker 1: transfers nowadays. But it's very controversial if that's like standard

1107
00:57:59,640 --> 00:58:02,080
Speaker 1: of care, but we tend to do it. And I

1108
00:58:02,200 --> 00:58:05,920
Speaker 1: would say I think every smart, every third person, we

1109
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:07,920
Speaker 1: catch an issue and then we send them to the

1110
00:58:08,000 --> 00:58:11,680
Speaker 1: rheumatologists for a thorough evaluation. I've never gotten to a

1111
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:15,080
Speaker 1: point where a woman is like after if IVF hasn't worked,

1112
00:58:15,160 --> 00:58:17,800
Speaker 1: like multiple times, like has that happened. I think the

1113
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:21,600
Speaker 1: emotional pressure on us, especially you know again being in

1114
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:24,160
Speaker 1: my mid forties, and I feel it with the patients.

1115
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:27,919
Speaker 1: It's so much. Sometimes I say, take a little trip

1116
00:58:28,120 --> 00:58:30,760
Speaker 1: or take a break, you know, and we can regroup

1117
00:58:30,880 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 1: or discuss donorreg Sometimes this sperm is very low quality

1118
00:58:35,400 --> 00:58:38,080
Speaker 1: and that may be impacting our chances to get a

1119
00:58:38,120 --> 00:58:41,760
Speaker 1: healthy embryo. And we have the hard discussion about donor

1120
00:58:41,840 --> 00:58:45,280
Speaker 1: sperm too. And then there are donor embryos, which is

1121
00:58:45,400 --> 00:58:49,560
Speaker 1: a big discussion nowadays that some couples who have had

1122
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:53,600
Speaker 1: healthy kids they have extra embryos and they're very Yeah,

1123
00:58:53,640 --> 00:58:56,480
Speaker 1: because people now have got these embryos on ice and

1124
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:59,920
Speaker 1: if they decide to not use them, what happens to them?

1125
00:59:00,080 --> 00:59:03,520
Speaker 1: They just get thrown out. Well, then you can don't

1126
00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:07,600
Speaker 1: don't donate them. It's a big discussion. We talked about it. Wow,

1127
00:59:08,160 --> 00:59:12,240
Speaker 1: amazing science is so fascinating. Um, can you talk about

1128
00:59:12,240 --> 00:59:14,600
Speaker 1: the difference between a woman using an egg sperm donor

1129
00:59:14,680 --> 00:59:16,680
Speaker 1: that we just brought it up and a woman using

1130
00:59:16,760 --> 00:59:20,080
Speaker 1: her own eggs and a partner, Like, is the IVF

1131
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:22,880
Speaker 1: process the same in those situations, Like if you were

1132
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:27,400
Speaker 1: to get a donor embryo or it's similar, it's um,

1133
00:59:27,600 --> 00:59:30,200
Speaker 1: we checked the woman's blood type. We try to match

1134
00:59:30,760 --> 00:59:33,720
Speaker 1: blood type and certain parameters so that the egg donor

1135
00:59:34,160 --> 00:59:37,560
Speaker 1: has similar or whatever qualities they want. And then you

1136
00:59:37,640 --> 00:59:41,520
Speaker 1: can get fresh or frozen donor eggs and um, the

1137
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:46,000
Speaker 1: frozen ones come relatively quickly, and the fresh donor egg

1138
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:48,920
Speaker 1: that woman will undergo that two week process to get

1139
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 1: the eggs out, and fresh eggs are fertilized with the sperm.

1140
00:59:53,200 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 1: With the frozen eggs they arrive and we saw them

1141
00:59:56,480 --> 01:00:00,760
Speaker 1: around of them survived the thought, and then we fertilize

1142
01:00:00,800 --> 01:00:03,440
Speaker 1: them and we prepare the woman's uterus and we can

1143
01:00:03,480 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 1: place them inside. Are people picking like like people pick

1144
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,920
Speaker 1: gender and stuff like that, but do they pick more

1145
01:00:11,000 --> 01:00:13,480
Speaker 1: than that? That's such a great question. I mean, I

1146
01:00:13,600 --> 01:00:15,520
Speaker 1: think are we like playing god here? Like this is

1147
01:00:15,800 --> 01:00:18,280
Speaker 1: fascinating to me, Like is this the future? Are people

1148
01:00:18,360 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 1: going to be doing this? Like like picking their family, like, well,

1149
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:24,840
Speaker 1: how does the most common thing we're asked to help

1150
01:00:24,960 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 1: with the cystic fibrosis because um, a lot of of

1151
01:00:28,840 --> 01:00:32,080
Speaker 1: us can carry the gene for cystic fibrosis, and if

1152
01:00:32,200 --> 01:00:35,800
Speaker 1: both partners carry that gene, then it's really important to

1153
01:00:35,920 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 1: check the embryo to optimize and get the best healthiest embryos.

1154
01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:45,040
Speaker 1: Not fibrosis. We check sickle cell often. Occasionally we get

1155
01:00:45,080 --> 01:00:48,880
Speaker 1: asked for early Alzheimer gene UM and people a cancer

1156
01:00:49,000 --> 01:00:53,840
Speaker 1: doing it for genetic or you know, for diseases people

1157
01:00:53,840 --> 01:00:55,520
Speaker 1: aren't doing it for like can you have blue eyes?

1158
01:00:56,200 --> 01:01:00,920
Speaker 1: We've been asked for perfect pitch, which is specific gene,

1159
01:01:01,360 --> 01:01:03,840
Speaker 1: but we can't. We can't do it is a gene

1160
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,600
Speaker 1: but you can hear sound perfectly, but we can't do

1161
01:01:07,760 --> 01:01:14,920
Speaker 1: that at this time. And you and no, no, um

1162
01:01:15,840 --> 01:01:20,240
Speaker 1: tell me this horrible answer. What does IVF cost? Is

1163
01:01:20,360 --> 01:01:23,920
Speaker 1: any of it covered by insurance? I'm hearing about these magical,

1164
01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:27,960
Speaker 1: huge corporations that do cover it, some like isn't it

1165
01:01:28,040 --> 01:01:31,840
Speaker 1: like I don't know, is it Google or Netflix or

1166
01:01:32,040 --> 01:01:34,920
Speaker 1: I don't know some like awesome, amazing companies are now

1167
01:01:35,120 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 1: starting to cover IVF and egg freezing and things like that.

1168
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:40,200
Speaker 1: But for the most part, that is not the case

1169
01:01:40,720 --> 01:01:42,960
Speaker 1: and it's out of pocket. Right, some of the law

1170
01:01:43,080 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 1: firms are covering two cycles of egg freezing for their

1171
01:01:47,000 --> 01:01:50,520
Speaker 1: UM women who want to protect their future UM. But

1172
01:01:51,160 --> 01:01:54,120
Speaker 1: it still tends to be diagnostic coverage, so some of

1173
01:01:54,200 --> 01:01:57,880
Speaker 1: the earlier diagnostic tests can be covered by insurance. But

1174
01:01:58,040 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 1: actually the treatment process can range. It can be a

1175
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:11,920
Speaker 1: wide range of costs. UM. Realistically it's something like that, right, yeah, um,

1176
01:02:12,200 --> 01:02:15,600
Speaker 1: and you might have to be more than one round, correct.

1177
01:02:15,800 --> 01:02:18,520
Speaker 1: Are there any resources you can recommend for our listeners

1178
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:23,680
Speaker 1: of things that yeah, like online books say, there are

1179
01:02:23,720 --> 01:02:27,360
Speaker 1: lots of educational blogs. We place blogs on our website

1180
01:02:27,400 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 1: at SCRC how to make the implantation moment as successful

1181
01:02:31,560 --> 01:02:35,600
Speaker 1: as possible. We talk about lifestyle modifications to make the

1182
01:02:35,680 --> 01:02:39,880
Speaker 1: egg quality better. I think Resolve is a wonderful organization

1183
01:02:39,960 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 1: that gives a lot of support across the country to

1184
01:02:43,000 --> 01:02:47,919
Speaker 1: women who are UM needing for seeking fertility treatments. Yeah,

1185
01:02:48,000 --> 01:02:51,800
Speaker 1: it's great, And then um, there's UM. We also encourage

1186
01:02:51,800 --> 01:02:55,520
Speaker 1: because the partners, the male partners really take an emotional tool,

1187
01:02:55,640 --> 01:02:58,880
Speaker 1: especially if their sperm is not as it could be

1188
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,480
Speaker 1: the best it could be. And there's a lot of

1189
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:07,800
Speaker 1: psychologists who work well with the paternal side of it. Yeah,

1190
01:03:07,880 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 1: we don't think about how this weighs on them at all.

1191
01:03:10,120 --> 01:03:16,840
Speaker 1: Huh um. Are there professional organizations in the country that

1192
01:03:16,960 --> 01:03:21,280
Speaker 1: people can look to? A s RM or American Society

1193
01:03:21,320 --> 01:03:25,320
Speaker 1: for Reproductive Medicine is a wonderful resource. Amazing, and that's

1194
01:03:25,320 --> 01:03:27,200
Speaker 1: a website too, Yeah, we have to link to that.

1195
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:30,560
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for being you think. Oh, oh

1196
01:03:30,640 --> 01:03:32,880
Speaker 1: my god, it's so wonderful to see you again, and

1197
01:03:33,040 --> 01:03:36,320
Speaker 1: I am so blown away by the work you do.

1198
01:03:36,960 --> 01:03:39,720
Speaker 1: For real, you are an angel walking among us. And

1199
01:03:40,000 --> 01:03:42,800
Speaker 1: thank you so much for being on Kate Crive. Dr Alexander,

1200
01:03:43,080 --> 01:03:47,360
Speaker 1: thank you, Thank you guys so much for listening and

1201
01:03:47,400 --> 01:03:50,440
Speaker 1: for your amazing feedback and tweets and messages and reviews

1202
01:03:50,560 --> 01:03:52,920
Speaker 1: and sharing Katie's Crib with your friends and your family.

1203
01:03:53,000 --> 01:03:55,360
Speaker 1: It means so so much to me, So please keep

1204
01:03:55,400 --> 01:03:57,680
Speaker 1: it coming and check us out on Shanda land dot com.

1205
01:03:57,960 --> 01:04:00,440
Speaker 1: Make sure to subscribe so you never miss an episode.

1206
01:04:00,640 --> 01:04:04,440
Speaker 1: We're on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and wherever you get

1207
01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:13,120
Speaker 1: your podcasts. M HM