Speaker 1: Truth or dare truth? Guando boys, GUENOMELESTORIAA I am oher
Speaker 1: aarami primera more.
Speaker 2: Senoraora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Senora, Hi, Senora, Welcome
Speaker 2: to Senora.
Speaker 3: Sex Ed Senora Sex Said is not your mommy's sex talk.
Speaker 3: This show is la platica like you've never heard it before.
Speaker 3: We're breaking the stigma and silence around sex and sexuality
Speaker 3: in LATINX communities. Historically, Latinas have been hyper sexualized in
Speaker 3: popular culture but notoriously denied sex education. This podcast is
Speaker 3: an intergenerational conversation between Latinas from gen X to gen Z,
Speaker 3: covering everything from puberty and body image to representation in film, television,
Speaker 3: and music.
Speaker 1: Just a reminder, in this show, a Senora is a
Speaker 1: woman with a lot of life experiences and stories to share.
Speaker 1: Maybe she's in her thirties, maybe she's in her forties
Speaker 1: or fifties or even older. She could be trans, or
Speaker 1: maybe she sis. We are your hosts and producers, Viosa
Speaker 1: and Mala.
Speaker 3: You might recognize us from our flagship podcast, Loka Tora Radio.
Speaker 3: We've been podcasting since twenty sixteen and we've covered all
Speaker 3: kinds of topics, ranging from politics to mental health, current events,
Speaker 3: and of course sex. We still have so much to learn, though,
Speaker 3: which is why we're excited to bring you. Senora Sex said,
Speaker 3: we hope you listen to each episode with the Senoras
Speaker 3: and Senoritas in your Life.
Speaker 1: Chapter six a Queer Inheritance.
Speaker 4: By the time I made Mosquito Madi, I think everybody
Speaker 4: knew I was queer. This was my coming out love story,
Speaker 4: first love story that I hadn't told anybody about. The
Speaker 4: person I experienced it with, we never talked about it.
Speaker 4: It's very much like the movie. It's like all the
Speaker 4: unspoken is what lived between us.
Speaker 3: That's Alrora Guerrero. She's a writer, director, and filmmaker. She's
Speaker 3: a queer, Chicana Latina and mother. In this episode, you'll
Speaker 3: hear her discuss how her first love inspired her debut film,
Speaker 3: Mosquito Marie. You'll also hear how she's breaking the culture
Speaker 3: of shame.
Speaker 1: Aoa wrote her first love story into her first feature film,
Speaker 1: and we all process our first loves differently. Do you
Speaker 1: remember your first love, the first person who caught your
Speaker 1: eye and captured your romantic imagination? The inspiration for butterflies
Speaker 1: and daydreams, your first valentine, your first dance, your first kiss.
Speaker 1: First love can be intense, scary, overwhelming, wholesome and precious.
Speaker 1: Sometimes that first love is a secret very deep inside,
Speaker 1: for fear of what might happen should it be expressed.
Speaker 3: When we're young, Few things are more exciting, more thrilling,
Speaker 3: more terrifying than sharing your feelings with the object of
Speaker 3: your affection, And few things hurt more than unrequited love.
Speaker 3: Did you tell your first love how you felt about them?
Speaker 3: Did they feel the same way about you if you
Speaker 3: ran into them today? What would you say?
Speaker 1: Historically, sex education PSAs shown in American schools are painfully clinical,
Speaker 1: oftentimes comical, and notoriously awkward. For writer director aro Ri Guerrero,
Speaker 1: her first formal introduction to sex education was one such film.
Speaker 4: I feel like the only bit of sort of formal
Speaker 4: sex said I recall would be when I was in
Speaker 4: elementary school. I think I was maybe in the fourth
Speaker 4: grade when they had this Sex Said, like half hour
Speaker 4: film that they showed us that literally was still on
Speaker 4: like eight millimeter film. I think they projected it. I
Speaker 4: don't even recall much of what was shown other than
Speaker 4: maybe seeing sperm kind of swimming. But I don't recall
Speaker 4: a discussion. I don't recall anything really, I don't recall
Speaker 4: being impacted by it. I just remember it being kind
Speaker 4: of laughed off, no follow up discussion, something that we
Speaker 4: had to watch, and that was about it.
Speaker 3: Like so many school age Latinas, the lessons about sex
Speaker 3: missing from our formal education were supplemented by hushed whispers,
Speaker 3: school yard tieesement, and sexual experimentation among peers.
Speaker 4: So I think that that's the only formal sex that
Speaker 4: I ever had in my life. And then there was
Speaker 4: the sex that that happens on the streets and in
Speaker 4: your school with your friends, right where people start talking
Speaker 4: about having sex, and so I think that those discussions
Speaker 4: were never in detail about like this is how it happens.
Speaker 1: Sometimes this informal learning about sex and sexuality had negative repercussions.
Speaker 4: Then like these are the consequences it was. There was
Speaker 4: none of that. It was just kind of like she
Speaker 4: had sex, and it was like, oh my god, or
Speaker 4: she's pregnant, Oh my god. Or she's having an abortion,
Speaker 4: oh my god. Like that was the extent of the conversation,
Speaker 4: really lacking detail. And I have to say again that
Speaker 4: that was the majority of my life. Like for me,
Speaker 4: sex side was really what I experienced firsthand, like those
Speaker 4: were my my that was my learning, was me just
Speaker 4: experiencing it. So really nothing you could say nana.
Speaker 3: For Arora, matters of the body and sexuality were shrouded
Speaker 3: in shame. When she started her period, she was given
Speaker 3: the tools needed to keep up with her menstrual cycle,
Speaker 3: but not much more. Without direct, open and detailed dialogue
Speaker 3: about her period. The message was clear, figure it out
Speaker 3: and don't talk about it.
Speaker 4: When I started my period, there was still a lot
Speaker 4: of ignorant and on my end, I didn't really fully
Speaker 4: understand what was happening. And my parents when that happened,
Speaker 4: it was almost like my mom just was like an
Speaker 4: automatic sort of like, oh, so this is what you need.
Speaker 4: Here's a pad, like and you have to wear this
Speaker 4: and oh but it wasn't like a detailed conversation about
Speaker 4: what it meant and how my body was going to change.
Speaker 4: There was nothing like that. It was just kind of like, oh, here,
Speaker 4: you're going to need this, and I had to figure out, oh,
Speaker 4: my god, like this is it's going to be painful
Speaker 4: and I'm going to have to wear this pad, and
Speaker 4: you know, just like a lot of silence, a lot
Speaker 4: of mystery, a lot of shame. And I interpreted it
Speaker 4: a shame. This lack of conversation around it translated as
Speaker 4: something you don't talk about.
Speaker 3: It.
Speaker 4: If you don't talk about it's something to be ashamed of.
Speaker 4: So yeah, just crazy, Like nothing around sexuality. It was
Speaker 4: always about the assumption that I would like boys, and
Speaker 4: I did have attractions towards boys, but there was no
Speaker 4: discussion around even that.
Speaker 1: If you've been listening to Senora sex Ed since episode one,
Speaker 1: you may have recognized a troubling pattern that for young Latinas,
Speaker 1: the silence and shame around sex and sexuality often begins
Speaker 1: with puberty and our periods. These major life events might
Speaker 1: be acknowledged, but seldom are they celebrated or fully explained.
Speaker 1: The message, once again, is very clear, this is yours
Speaker 1: to deal with on your own.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, I think it starts with the period.
Speaker 4: I think it starts with the body and what we
Speaker 4: sort of naturally go through. I think information is power,
Speaker 4: it's empowerment. I'm a mom now, I have a daughter
Speaker 4: she's nine, and and my spouse and I my wife
Speaker 4: and I immediately talked about how we wanted to get
Speaker 4: her age appropriate information so she could understand just the
Speaker 4: biology of her body and like what is going to
Speaker 4: happen around her period, how that's going to bring on
Speaker 4: changes from her body to just hormonally, her emotions and
Speaker 4: you know, everything that comes with starting your period. Both
Speaker 4: my spouse and I are so excited about that.
Speaker 5: I have no idea how she will receive the conversation,
Speaker 5: but thus far she's used to us, you know, bringing
Speaker 5: books and reading together.
Speaker 4: And having discussions as we read it. She's very responsive
Speaker 4: to it, and so we're excited about continuing that conversation,
Speaker 4: especially around sex, which is a big one. And you know,
Speaker 4: we feel like her body is telling us from what
Speaker 4: we're seeing that her period is within a year a
Speaker 4: year and a half away. So me and my wife
Speaker 4: are getting ready. We're like, how do we have the
Speaker 4: conversation that isn't traumatizing, that is empowering and la la
Speaker 4: la la la, you know what I mean. And so
Speaker 4: part of that is also just like for me dealing
Speaker 4: with my fears, you know, around it for her, because
Speaker 4: I also know that the world out there is can
Speaker 4: be a very scary place, and I don't want to
Speaker 4: be like, and you have to do this, and you
Speaker 4: have to, you know, like be so imposing on her
Speaker 4: because we also want her curiosity to be present and
Speaker 4: to be alive and not to stifle that for her.
Speaker 4: So and also then eventually leading to the conversations around sex. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I would have loved to have really removed that sense
Speaker 4: of it's not something you should talk about, it's not
Speaker 4: something that is positive or good. Like, I really wish
Speaker 4: that would have been removed, because I just would have
Speaker 4: understood myself so much better and felt more confident in
Speaker 4: the world as a young woman. And you know, obviously
Speaker 4: my mom sets the tone for that for me. And
Speaker 4: because I grew up with brothers and so my mom
Speaker 4: was the only other female my grandma. So yeah, So
Speaker 4: I just wish my mom would have really broken the
Speaker 4: silence and given me proper information so I could navigate
Speaker 4: myself my changes so much better.
Speaker 3: The silence around Aarroora's body, her period, and her sexuality
Speaker 3: was almost an inheritance of sorts, passed down from her
Speaker 3: grandmother to her mother and eventually to her. Now, Aaroda's
Speaker 3: own daughter has the privilege of a different type of inheritance,
Speaker 3: information and open conversation.
Speaker 4: My generation of moms are raising kids who are like
Speaker 4: extremely informed. If anything, I'd be curious to see them
Speaker 4: or my daughter, you know, fifteen twenty years from now
Speaker 4: on a podcast talking about the way she was raised
Speaker 4: would probably be like, oh my god, my mom's had
Speaker 4: a library and shit, like, way too much information.
Speaker 3: We hope you're enjoying this conversation. Stay tuned, there's more
Speaker 3: to come.
Speaker 1: And we're back. We hope you enjoyed the break and
Speaker 1: are ready to listen to the rest. What happens when
Speaker 1: our own parents are afraid to address the changes we
Speaker 1: are experiencing with our bodies, we approach those same changes
Speaker 1: with fear, upidation, and sometimes self destructive behavior. Without the
Speaker 1: proper tools and education to help her navigate her relationship
Speaker 1: to sex and sexuality, Arora's youth was marked by fear
Speaker 1: of what she didn't know.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 4: I think that I navigated my youth with a lot
Speaker 4: of fear. Fear of you know, what was happening, what
Speaker 4: could happen, not understanding things, and fearing that that lack
Speaker 4: of knowledge would somehow hurt me or hurt the ones
Speaker 4: around me. Yeah, just a lot of fear, and that
Speaker 4: in turn caused a lot of repression, oppression. I lived
Speaker 4: a very sort of insular experience where like I was
Speaker 4: just having conversations with myself, you know, internally about what
Speaker 4: was happening, because I couldn't even talk to my friends
Speaker 4: about things. So it was really difficult. It was really difficult.
Speaker 4: And if I did have an experience or did have feelings,
Speaker 4: that was tainted with shame, and so then that was
Speaker 4: another layer that kept me quiet about my experiences that
Speaker 4: I internalized, be it positive or negative. And I always
Speaker 4: feel like that led to sort of you know behavior
Speaker 4: later that was self destructive, right from unhealthy sex to
Speaker 4: alcohol to just different ways that different ways I was
Speaker 4: coping to try to find a way to express what
Speaker 4: I had buried for so long. So it was really
Speaker 4: really hard. It had a very very big impact on
Speaker 4: me and negative for sure.
Speaker 3: As a young adult, Aroda made her way to Los Angeles.
Speaker 3: While in LA, her new social circle introduced her to
Speaker 3: a nonprofit organization called Bienistad. Because of Viennistad, Alroota had
Speaker 3: access to queer sex ed for the first time.
Speaker 4: There was a lot of discussion with people around me.
Speaker 4: But when I ended up in Los Angeles, I came
Speaker 4: across a nonprofit called Bianistad. I don't know if you
Speaker 4: all are familiar with bianista, so I'm not sure if
Speaker 4: they're very active now, but they were active back in
Speaker 4: the early two thousands, late nineteen nineties, which is when
Speaker 4: I was in LA and definitely dating and out in
Speaker 4: the scene, and they were doing a lot of active
Speaker 4: out reach to not just gay men but queer women,
Speaker 4: and so a few of the women that I was
Speaker 4: around exposed exposed me to them and their workshops, and
Speaker 4: it was like the first time I ever went to
Speaker 4: a queer like sex workshop was at Bianistad, and by
Speaker 4: then I was twenty four, twenty five, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: they're safe sex like between women, Like I mean, the
Speaker 4: ignorance was pretty deep on my end, you know, and
Speaker 4: having those conversations like most of us didn't weren't aware
Speaker 4: of that and definitely did not practice safe sex amongst
Speaker 4: ourselves or with each other whatever in the Latina community.
Speaker 4: I felt like so so bien Estaught was the first
Speaker 4: place where I got formal queer sex education.
Speaker 1: We're sure there are listeners out there who have their
Speaker 1: own own questions about safe sex for queer women. To
Speaker 1: keep the conversation going, we're picking up a house call
Speaker 1: from resident obg y N doctor Lilia Rodan, MD.
Speaker 6: Ola Signoras, I'm la Lata Lilia Roldan, MD, calling in
Speaker 6: to talk to you about safe sex practices for queer women.
Speaker 6: E Brasoness, I'm a resident physician specializing in obtetrics and gynecology. Now,
Speaker 6: before we continue with our call, this informational segment should
Speaker 6: not be interpreted as official medical advice, and if you
Speaker 6: have any concerns, always consult with your medical provider. So
Speaker 6: let's get to talking about safe sex practices for female
Speaker 6: bodied queers now. While you are statistically more likely to
Speaker 6: contract an STI from someone with a penis, that doesn't
Speaker 6: mean those gold star lesbians out there are free from risk.
Speaker 6: Any sexual act involving the exchange of bodily fluids can
Speaker 6: lead to infection transmission. Barrier methods like condoms and dental
Speaker 6: dams should be used by all consenting parts for infection prevention,
Speaker 6: and yes, Senoras, that means using condoms on your penetrative
Speaker 6: sex toys if you're playing with a partner. Speaking of toys,
Speaker 6: make sure to clean them after every use for silicone.
Speaker 6: Either boil them for five to ten minutes, wash them
Speaker 6: in the top rack of your dishwasher, or wash with
Speaker 6: antibacterial soap and hot water. As a rule of thumb,
Speaker 6: if you're using an organ for sex, you should get
Speaker 6: it swabbed at some point to screen for STIs because yes,
Speaker 6: throat chlamydia is a thing. And lastly, it's important to
Speaker 6: note that just because you or your partner are on
Speaker 6: gender affirming hormones, that doesn't mean there's a zero percent
Speaker 6: chance of pregnancy if playing with genitals of the opposite sex.
Speaker 6: So Senoras, if you're needing to have the plattiga with
Speaker 6: a queer segoriti tex in your life, remember to research
Speaker 6: the correct information to inform their safe sex practices.
Speaker 1: The turbulence that defined her own queer coming of age
Speaker 1: was not for nothing. Her experiences with silence, sex and
Speaker 1: young love would inspire the making of the twenty twelve
Speaker 1: iconic queer love story Mosquita You Mighty.
Speaker 4: Because for two reasons, that film was so personal to me,
Speaker 4: and I had lived in that silence for so long
Speaker 4: that I really wanted to bring voice to it. And
Speaker 4: I wanted to just let it out and put it
Speaker 4: out and say, you know, this was a moment in
Speaker 4: my life, and this was my first love. And I
Speaker 4: never got to say that to that person. I never
Speaker 4: got to say it to someone else. It took me
Speaker 4: a while to even acknowledge that that friendship was really
Speaker 4: my first love, and so I wanted to honor that
Speaker 4: time and moment in my life. I felt like that
Speaker 4: that was very important for me. And then I figured
Speaker 4: that probably still there were a lot of young women
Speaker 4: of color, a lot of young brown girls who were
Speaker 4: still exp and seeing the same thing.
Speaker 3: Mosquita Aimardi was a cinematic love letter addressed to Arora's
Speaker 3: first love. She was also a young brown girl who
Speaker 3: didn't know outright how Aroa felt. Aaroda knew that she
Speaker 3: was not the only queer Latina who harbored a secret
Speaker 3: love in her childhood. She wanted to finally let that
Speaker 3: love live out in the open for everyone to see
Speaker 3: and feel.
Speaker 4: And I wanted to capture that dynamic so these young
Speaker 4: women or older or women my age could say, oh shit,
Speaker 4: that was me, That's what I went through. And you
Speaker 4: capture that and you gave it a place, and you
Speaker 4: gave it a name and thank you for doing that.
Speaker 4: So I wanted people to feel seen more than anything,
Speaker 4: and that moment and that love to be seen and
Speaker 4: felt beautiful.
Speaker 1: I I'm curious about how you living your life, dating,
Speaker 1: growing up, coming of age, learning as you're going, learning
Speaker 1: as you're doing. How that led to the writing of
Speaker 1: Mosquita Imai because it's based very heavily on your own
Speaker 1: experiences and your own upbringing. So just how living directly
Speaker 1: translated to the writing.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I originally Mosquita Money was epic. It started
Speaker 4: in elementary school and ended at the end of high school.
Speaker 4: And I think that I was so eager to tell
Speaker 4: my story, to talk about all the things that I
Speaker 4: had experienced, especially around love and connection intimacy, that I
Speaker 4: just like barfed out the biggest breaking screenplay ever. And
Speaker 4: so I think that at that moment, I was like, Okay,
Speaker 4: I don't think that this is very producible, and so
Speaker 4: I I need to kind of be able to encapsulate
Speaker 4: what I felt for most of those years during a
Speaker 4: very specific time, and so that's what I set out
Speaker 4: to do. But originally it was just this real need
Speaker 4: to say everything that I could not say throughout my
Speaker 4: life because my feeling, that sense of intimacy attraction started
Speaker 4: very young for me in elementary school. So I wanted
Speaker 4: to like, you know, honor all those moments and I
Speaker 4: couldn't cinematically. So that was my process and it made
Speaker 4: sense because I was talking about these things for the
Speaker 4: first time. And yeah, and that process to come to Mosquite,
Speaker 4: that money and what it is on screen now took
Speaker 4: me quite a few years because I had to, like,
Speaker 4: you know, be okay with saying I'm not going to
Speaker 4: cover elementary school. I'm not going to cover middle school.
Speaker 4: I'm not gonna you know what I mean. Like, I
Speaker 4: had to be at piece with what was not going
Speaker 4: to end up on screen specifically, but in essence, I
Speaker 4: was addressing and capturing the same feeling I had throughout
Speaker 4: my childhood.
Speaker 1: Curiosity about your sexual attraction and identity can begin at
Speaker 1: a young age. Mosquita Mai set out to capture that
Speaker 1: youthful intensity, and that.
Speaker 4: Was intense connections with other girls that were clouded with
Speaker 4: that sense of sort of not being able to talk
Speaker 4: about it, not understanding fully what was happening, not having
Speaker 4: a sense of community to lean on during that time
Speaker 4: was what I wanted to center the peace on, and
Speaker 4: so that's what I focused on. I love it. I
Speaker 4: love queering these friendships because you know, we're taught to
Speaker 4: just dismiss them as oh, that's just friendship, or you know,
Speaker 4: it's never put through a queer lens. So I wanted
Speaker 4: to queer those spaces as much as possible so people
Speaker 4: could look back and say, oh, actually, I think we
Speaker 4: were crushed out on each other and it wasn't just
Speaker 4: oh I just felt a little jealous, you know what
Speaker 4: I mean. So I experienced that when I when I
Speaker 4: screened the film around the world, so many people would
Speaker 4: talk about their experiences through a queer lens that they
Speaker 4: had never given their their the given themselves the opportunity
Speaker 4: to look at their experiences through a queer lens, and
Speaker 4: it was I felt like it moved a lot of
Speaker 4: people to do that. So that was that was really
Speaker 4: interesting to experience through audiences. We'll be taking a quick break.
Speaker 7: Don't miss us, Thanks for sticking around.
Speaker 1: We are back.
Speaker 3: What about Ara's first love? Ara and her childhood crush
Speaker 3: lost touch and they didn't reconnect for several years until
Speaker 3: Aarra tracked her down and finally sat down to talk
Speaker 3: to her.
Speaker 4: I have mentioned the film to her a couple of times,
Speaker 4: but she has an expressed interest in watching it. I
Speaker 4: haven't outright said this is about you and me. I
Speaker 4: have said, you know, you inspired a lot of it.
Speaker 4: She knows, like I think the first step between me
Speaker 4: and her was for me to come out to her,
Speaker 4: because in real life, myself and this person got separated.
Speaker 4: So life broke us apart. She ended up moving and
Speaker 4: so our relationship, our connection was ruptured from one day
Speaker 4: to the next, and she ended up like going on
Speaker 4: her own journey. I ended up going online and then
Speaker 4: we reconnected like fifteen years later, as I was getting
Speaker 4: ready to make this movie, and I thought to myself,
Speaker 4: I'm gonna tell her. I'm gonna She didn't know I
Speaker 4: was queer, she didn't know anything, So so I invited.
Speaker 4: I tracked her down. It took me a long time
Speaker 4: to track her down, and this was a whole This
Speaker 4: was a big part of why I also wrote Mosquite
Speaker 4: Madi Is because I couldn't find her, and I was like,
Speaker 4: rather than find her and I don't know what I
Speaker 4: was gonna, you know, claimed to her. I just I
Speaker 4: needed to tell this story for me. But I had
Speaker 4: already set in motion this sort of search for her,
Speaker 4: and I was able to finally find her and I
Speaker 4: invited her to dinner, and it was crazy. We hadn't
Speaker 4: seen each other since high school, like we were seniors.
Speaker 4: We saw each other briefly, but we were separated when
Speaker 4: we were sophomores. And I was like, I'm gonna tell her,
Speaker 4: you know, I was just so hooked gung ho with everything,
Speaker 4: and then when I saw her, I just got really nervous.
Speaker 4: And then she started telling me how she was Christian
Speaker 4: and she had, you know, a few kids, and I
Speaker 4: just shrunk. I shrunk, and I walked away from that dinner.
Speaker 4: I didn't even come out to her say anything, and
Speaker 4: so so I walked away, going, I have to make
Speaker 4: mostquit that money for me. I gotta do this for me.
Speaker 4: This is me telling this story. And I realized that
Speaker 4: even if she were to see the film, I feel
Speaker 4: like she would be like, that's not how it happened.
Speaker 4: And that's fine, because this is how it happened for me.
Speaker 4: And I'm sure she has her side in the story,
Speaker 4: but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what she thinks
Speaker 4: or how she experienced it, it just matters what it
Speaker 4: was for me. So anyways, we have kept in touch.
Speaker 4: I did end up coming out to her. She was
Speaker 4: cool with it, and that's as far as we've gotten. Yeah,
Speaker 4: I think that ideally what I hoped for was that
Speaker 4: we would come together and I would share with her
Speaker 4: what I was doing, and that she would acknowledge what
Speaker 4: happened between us, and that we would talk about it openly,
Speaker 4: and that I would walk away with a smile on
Speaker 4: my face and my heart and knowing that she validated
Speaker 4: everything we had gone through. That was what I ideally
Speaker 4: hoped for, because by then I was already with who
Speaker 4: is now my spouse, So I wasn't like I was
Speaker 4: looking to rekindle anything. I just I just wanted her
Speaker 4: to it, to say, yeah, you know, like that's that's
Speaker 4: what happened, and and thank you for bringing it up,
Speaker 4: or you.
Speaker 8: Know, I.
Speaker 4: Wish we could have talked about it then or something,
Speaker 4: you know. I just I wanted her to acknowledge me
Speaker 4: and what we experienced. And I didn't get that.
Speaker 1: Aaroda came out to her first love, but had a
Speaker 1: different idea of how the conversation would go.
Speaker 4: So I needed closure, and Mosquite Mani became closure. When
Speaker 4: I made the film, I really did feel that I
Speaker 4: felt like I was able to move on because I
Speaker 4: was so when I went to college to film school
Speaker 4: and I was told in my screenwriting class to write
Speaker 4: from a place of a personal experience, I immediately started writing,
Speaker 4: particularly about her, and it became Mosquitai Money, and it
Speaker 4: just was like, man, man, this love has been haunting
Speaker 4: me for a long time, and it was haunting me
Speaker 4: because we never really acknowledged it between each other, and
Speaker 4: it was something that I needed. And I think it
Speaker 4: goes back to the way I was raised, all that silence,
Speaker 4: all that living in my head and you know, not
Speaker 4: having that opportunity to process and to put a name
Speaker 4: to it, like it really impacted me. And so this
Speaker 4: haunting was ongoing and it wasn't until I made Mosquitai
Speaker 4: Madi that I was free and freedom of it, and
Speaker 4: I really, I really was. So it became very very
Speaker 4: significant for me the making of that movie, especially after
Speaker 4: she and I met.
Speaker 3: It's been twelve years since MOSQUITEI Madi was released, its
Speaker 3: cultural impact remains.
Speaker 4: It's kind of like I gave birth to this story
Speaker 4: and it was massive for me personally. As I've just
Speaker 4: expressed that, I was excited to put it out in
Speaker 4: the world and see what it was going to do
Speaker 4: to other people, hoping that it would shake people in
Speaker 4: a good way, it would send them on a journey
Speaker 4: to you know, find answers or help people feel validated,
Speaker 4: whatever it was going to do. So I basically just
Speaker 4: said fly and never looked back. Like, the movie's doing
Speaker 4: its thing everywhere, and it just kind of been in
Speaker 4: pocket circles back and people are either writing about it,
Speaker 4: it's been in books. The Academy Museum just wrote me
Speaker 4: and they want to center the film around coming of
Speaker 4: age stories. And I was like, wow, like Mosquita Mondy
Speaker 4: is like, it's just doing its thing and it's impacting
Speaker 4: people to this day. And still there hasn't been a
Speaker 4: film that has come out quite like Mosquite Mady and
Speaker 4: so so I guess it is. But it was never
Speaker 4: something that I was really intending. I just was like,
Speaker 4: Mosquite Money just needs to be what it is out
Speaker 4: in the world. It's done its job with me, thankfully,
Speaker 4: and I'm so grateful and now off into the world.
Speaker 4: And so yeah, it's the little the little train that
Speaker 4: could you know, it just keeps giving, it keeps going.
Speaker 4: That's how I feel about it.
Speaker 3: Instead of passing down generational silence to her daughter, Adoda
Speaker 3: is passing down the visual love letter that is Mosquitei Madi.
Speaker 3: One day, Adoa and her daughter will watch the film together.
Speaker 3: The film that served as closure for Arora will open
Speaker 3: up a dialogue with her own daughter.
Speaker 4: So part of it is like me doing my therapy
Speaker 4: and working through my stuff and finding the right thing's
Speaker 4: tools to be able to talk about it. I think
Speaker 4: film she's been wanting to watch Mosquite Mati, and so
Speaker 4: I'm excited about watching it with her and sharing my
Speaker 4: story with her. I think it's going to be really deep,
Speaker 4: and I think definitely before this year is up, we're
Speaker 4: going to have a screening of it me, her and
Speaker 4: my wife and like put it on the big screen
Speaker 4: and and have a discussion afterwards. So so excitement, not
Speaker 4: fear being excited about these conversations, be excited about finding
Speaker 4: the tools. Also finding other parents you know that are
Speaker 4: raising their kids similarly, and that we can have discussions
Speaker 4: with them about you know, what are you doing, how
Speaker 4: are you doing it? I think that that's really helpful.
Speaker 4: My spouse and I are very community oriented and we
Speaker 4: have quite a few friends with kids. They're all around
Speaker 4: the same age, so we're all checking in with each other.
Speaker 4: So yeah, I think that that's where we're at. And
Speaker 4: hopeful that this shift in attitude and an approach will
Speaker 4: lead to less trauma in our communities, more empowerment, and
Speaker 4: just more beautiful stories that they can share, is our hope,
Speaker 4: you know.
Speaker 1: At the end of our interview with Arora, we thought
Speaker 1: deeply about what it means when our love is not reciprocated,
Speaker 1: and how we might channel that unrequited love into our work,
Speaker 1: into our learning, into our own happiness, and the ways
Speaker 1: that art making can serve as closure when the object
Speaker 1: of our affection cannot do the same for us.
Speaker 3: This interview with Arora really got me thinking about my
Speaker 3: first love, my first queer love, because there was just
Speaker 3: no information out there for me at that time. And
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that a film like Mosquitai Mai exists,
Speaker 3: and it really makes me think about those friendships with
Speaker 3: girls before having any type of sexual awakening. There's this
Speaker 3: intensity of these friendships when you're a young girl, and
Speaker 3: now you can look back and be like, oh, we
Speaker 3: were just in love with each other, and that's why
Speaker 3: it was so intense and in love in the way
Speaker 3: that a twelve year old can be in love right
Speaker 3: where there's this queering of friendship and being able to
Speaker 3: understand there was some complexity there that we did not
Speaker 3: understand at the time, and so I'm just really glad
Speaker 3: that ado Ra shared her experience with us and how
Speaker 3: she was really able to alchemize this unrequited love into
Speaker 3: this beautiful film that stands a test of time that
Speaker 3: is a part of queer Canon Films.
Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in to another episode of Senora
Speaker 1: sex Ed. Next time, on Senora sex Ed, we are
Speaker 1: joined by content creator Naomi Hearts. We're talking about love
Speaker 1: as a transgender woman and how comedy figures into her
Speaker 1: content and her personal relationships.
Speaker 8: Here I go again coming to my mom having to
Speaker 8: come out a second time, and I was like, you know,
Speaker 8: I don't think I'm gay, and she was like confused
Speaker 8: for a bed and I told her I think I'm transgender,
Speaker 8: and in that moment she was like, I don't know
Speaker 8: what that is. I love you and I'm gonna support you,
Speaker 8: and we're gonna do it Together.
Speaker 3: Nosavemos Chao Senora Sex Said is a co production between
Speaker 3: LOCATORA Productions and Michael Dura Podcast Network.
Speaker 1: This show is executive produced by Mala Munos and biosa Fem.
Speaker 3: Also executive produced by Jaselle Frances.
Speaker 1: Produced by Stephanie Franco.
Speaker 3: Creative direction by Mala Munios.
Speaker 1: Story editing by Biosafem.
Speaker 3: Music direction by Grisol Lomeli and
Speaker 1: Music produced by Brian Gazo