Speaker 1: Forever. Look man, oh I see you? Why and look
Speaker 1: over there? How is that nuture? Yes? Goodness, let's okay,
Speaker 1: ready one too, dang Las Culturess calling hill. Wow, Wow,
Speaker 1: what a thrill. Hello, guys, we just did the harrowing
Speaker 1: thing of entering without any entrance music. It was crazy.
Speaker 1: It was crazy, and we pulled it off somehow. How's
Speaker 1: everybody doing today? Okay? Amazing? Is everyone here a San
Speaker 1: Franciscan who traveled from the events? Okay, okay, Hey, here's
Speaker 1: a bigger and boulder question. Who here even knows what
Speaker 1: this is? Or listens to our podcast for several rows?
Speaker 1: Okay for several rows? Who has no idea? What the fun? Yeah? Okay, um,
Speaker 1: we we're lost culture rest. I'm bow and Yang and
Speaker 1: I'm mat Rogers than We've got some fun mask growls
Speaker 1: over here. You don't have to pretend here. Okay, there
Speaker 1: are no masks. I am so excited to be here.
Speaker 1: How how do you think? What do you think? Your best?
Speaker 1: So far? Oh? My god? I think it's beautiful in
Speaker 1: some parts? Sure so Union Square area, Oh baby, you
Speaker 1: could eat off the ground and Tenderlot area. You could
Speaker 1: do drugs right off the ground. It's but it's beautiful.
Speaker 1: It's beautiful. I see beautiful, but it's it's it's um original, Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I I came I when I touched down. Um, it's
Speaker 1: just something felt different. Is I'm like, I'm gay Asian
Speaker 1: person who used to work in tech. Like I should
Speaker 1: be the fucking mayor since you're sitting this is my city. Um,
Speaker 1: it feels really special to be in New York. Is
Speaker 1: my city even more now because there's a Jimmy Buffett
Speaker 1: Margharitaville musical. So as you know on Long Island trash
Speaker 1: or if you don't know how in the background Long
Speaker 1: Island trash, uh, just memorize it can that to memory.
Speaker 1: That's the persona. Oh my god, you guys, we're about
Speaker 1: to do a show full of I don't think so honey.
Speaker 1: So who here? It does what I don't think, so honey. Okay,
Speaker 1: the front Rolls are living for everyone who doesn't I
Speaker 1: don't think so honey. Is when we take one minute
Speaker 1: to rant feverishly against something in pop culture that we
Speaker 1: cannot stand, that grinds arguments, makes us feel some sort
Speaker 1: of a way, makes our skin just crawl. Bitch, let's
Speaker 1: have been and I don't think so, honey, that you've
Speaker 1: been moved by to also hate that topic. Oh um, god,
Speaker 1: you're bringing on the spot. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Someone someone did. Leo DiCaprio. We have said, you Washington,
Speaker 1: who's gonna be on stage soon, convinced me to hate Leo?
Speaker 1: What about? Yeah, he's not environmentally friendly Leto. He's got
Speaker 1: his yachts. As much as he loves to talk of
Speaker 1: a game, I recently didn't. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: On the ASoP fable when the tortoise beats the hair,
Speaker 1: because funk that. How will the tortoise beat the hair
Speaker 1: physically naturally? And also even if the hair took a nap,
Speaker 1: it wouldn't be that long, it would not be that Loan,
Speaker 1: the tortoise never beats the hair. It's fucking crazy in
Speaker 1: these tables, fucking tortoise spats the hair. Well, um, we're
Speaker 1: gonna do that. And then we have incredibly special guests
Speaker 1: tonight to help judge the proceedings. So this actually is
Speaker 1: very We haven't actually been able to check in with
Speaker 1: ab how crazy this is that there here? Um, are
Speaker 1: there any Rupole's draggers fans at all? Who because of us? Yeah,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, we're Oh my god, oh my god. Oh
Speaker 1: third row, third row. You are a queen. We are
Speaker 1: your a queer shirt. You know who's now obsessed with
Speaker 1: RuPaul's drivers, Leslie Jones. Have you guys seen her Twitter?
Speaker 1: Did you guys say her? Twe She loves you guys,
Speaker 1: finally caught on um. Well, anyway, we have two Incredibly
Speaker 1: She's like, RuPaul is funny. We're like, yeah, we know, okay.
Speaker 1: Incredibly special guest, incredibly special guests. I mean, we're not
Speaker 1: even gonna sort of just blow that much smoke up
Speaker 1: their asses. We'll do it when they're on stage. But
Speaker 1: please welcome to the stage to winners of RuPaul's Drag
Speaker 1: Race Alaska thunder fucking Oh my god. Have some respects,
Speaker 1: some respects, some respects. Yes, you should be standing in
Speaker 1: the third roll. I'm telling you, the third row. This
Speaker 1: girl on the third row, she's the star of the
Speaker 1: of this They're turning out, turning out, all right, So
Speaker 1: you guys, this is we're so to you. Yes, absolutely, James,
Speaker 1: I agree. Can we ask you, like this show is
Speaker 1: about pop culture grievances. What are some things in pop
Speaker 1: culture right now that you guys say you know what, No,
Speaker 1: you know what I can say right away. And why
Speaker 1: I'm so excited to be here with you guys is
Speaker 1: I don't know if you've noticed this, but there's a
Speaker 1: little bit of like interior homophobia amongst gay celebrities right
Speaker 1: now because I listened to a lot of podcasts with
Speaker 1: my friends, and a lot of the gay guys who
Speaker 1: are on successful podcasts like decidedly don't watch Drag Race,
Speaker 1: you know, like as if like I just don't, I
Speaker 1: don't watch it. I'm not that kind of gay or
Speaker 1: like and and it's so hard. It's so hard to
Speaker 1: like trust them when they're like just like, oh, it's
Speaker 1: just not for me. It kind of seems like you're
Speaker 1: upset that, like, now you've got a whole lot more competition,
Speaker 1: you know, more people that are a lot fucking more
Speaker 1: talent than you. They have they have jaws, that's all
Speaker 1: they have. I'm not going to name any podcasts specifically,
Speaker 1: but it's like there are a lot of gay guys
Speaker 1: out there who like they're they're female friends who do
Speaker 1: their podcasts with them. So you're already thinking, like the
Speaker 1: top three, like gay male female duos out there, but
Speaker 1: like a lot of the women are like, well, you
Speaker 1: gotta watch drag Race and then they say like no,
Speaker 1: I just really don't get into it. Drag isn't for me.
Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, so drag is for thirteen year
Speaker 1: old straight kids, but not for a nelly queer guy
Speaker 1: like you do you hear me Senser myself on the spot,
Speaker 1: not a nelly queer guy. There is let's coin for
Speaker 1: queer right here and queer queer the queers when you
Speaker 1: want to just really say the slurb, but you're like,
Speaker 1: let me. You're in mixed company. Not everyone is like
Speaker 1: on the inside of the communities, so you don't want
Speaker 1: to like ruffle their feathers. Wait, can I tell you
Speaker 1: what insecurity? So we did the RuPaul's Drag Race panel
Speaker 1: at Vulture Fest, which Jax was on it, and then
Speaker 1: I started reading The Diva Rules by Michelle Vissage, and
Speaker 1: when we all came out, I said, the faggotree has begun.
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh no, because I felt
Speaker 1: Michelle give me like a dirty look. And then in
Speaker 1: the book on page eighteen, she's like, I hate the
Speaker 1: word faggots and I hate that word too. I just
Speaker 1: came out. I was excited. Well, here's the thing. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's honestly, it's one of those things that's from person
Speaker 1: to person. I think we should respect that there are
Speaker 1: people who hate the word within the community UM. But
Speaker 1: then those people should also respect the fact that, like,
Speaker 1: there is something to be said to reclaiming the word
Speaker 1: and taking the power back for yourself. You know. I
Speaker 1: think there's a lot of merit in that. But I
Speaker 1: think it's the older generation within the queer um community
Speaker 1: who have watched people be beaten to death, who have
Speaker 1: lost friends because of homophobia. That word resonates with them
Speaker 1: very differently, and it kind of speaks to our millennial
Speaker 1: privilege that we like use it like yeah, fag. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's like, actually your father died so that you could
Speaker 1: use the word fag. That's why. No, And now we
Speaker 1: have for Queer, So why would we need queer Alaska?
Speaker 1: Do we start making jewelry allah your snake accessories that
Speaker 1: have a queer on them, But talk to talk to
Speaker 1: us a little bit about the pieces. My my favorite
Speaker 1: drag race queen is Madam for Queer season five, season
Speaker 1: four three, Yeah, four four, yeah, what are you in
Speaker 1: pop culture? What are you not liking in pop culture?
Speaker 1: What grinds your gears? Yeah? I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: a pop old your thing, but um, I find it
Speaker 1: really difficult and challenging when I'm trying to like watch
Speaker 1: a show and I really love it, and I go
Speaker 1: to look it up and Okay, it's like it's not
Speaker 1: on iTunes. So I look on Netflix and it's not there.
Speaker 1: And then I look on Amazon and it's not there,
Speaker 1: and it's been scrubbed from history. Like right now, like
Speaker 1: we're doing a reading of Spiceworld. Later, you can't watch
Speaker 1: spice You are not allowed to watch Spice World. It
Speaker 1: doesn't exist. You know it's going on. This is how
Speaker 1: it starts. People. The Nanny, The Nanny, the TV show.
Speaker 1: I was like, I want to watch The Nanny and
Speaker 1: scrubbed from history. So I went on fucking eBay, I think,
Speaker 1: and I bought the box set, and I went on
Speaker 1: Amazon and I bought a portable DVD player and it's
Speaker 1: in my kitchen and now whenever i'm making tea or
Speaker 1: doing the dishes, there's Fran. Yes, Fran, alright, only it
Speaker 1: starts tomorrow. We'll be living in Fahrenheit for you will
Speaker 1: be able to get a single bit of queer literature anywhere.
Speaker 1: Drag queens will memorize mommy dearius, so that future generations, David,
Speaker 1: if there is a technological stone Age black out, like
Speaker 1: a lot of people are saying there might be, UM,
Speaker 1: I think I'm sorry that I'm terrified people saying that
Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm hearing whist springs and um red is
Speaker 1: going crazy. It's going crazy with the technological stone Age.
Speaker 1: I think I think it is on us to um
Speaker 1: pass that down into like recite um bullshit. Have you
Speaker 1: seen Bowen's lip sync of the Tyra Banks. He can
Speaker 1: do a perfect lip sync of the Tyra Banks America's
Speaker 1: Next Top Model meltdown. You can't see it here. You
Speaker 1: have to subscribe, all right. So let's move forward with
Speaker 1: this competition, which is called the Gauntlet Do Gag. So
Speaker 1: we're gonna have twenty one commas come out here in
Speaker 1: three groups of seven. They're all gonna go. They're gonna
Speaker 1: do there. I don't think so honeys And at the
Speaker 1: end of the group's Alaska and Jinks are both going
Speaker 1: to choose one of them to move on. To the finals.
Speaker 1: Now we've given you Pen's ladies to write down your
Speaker 1: goddamn thoughts, um, and also you guys. They can either
Speaker 1: pick a pre selected topic to do and I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey on, or we have this the troll Ball.
Speaker 1: Tell them about the troll. The trouball is a bowl
Speaker 1: of topics that we've written out that are meant to
Speaker 1: be hard to go negative on. Some past entries have
Speaker 1: included Sasha Mailio, Obama, Julie Andrew, David Bowie, UM, the
Speaker 1: women of Broadway. Like things that you have to go
Speaker 1: negative on no matter what, like unanimous celebration surrounds. Yes,
Speaker 1: and I think we should probably just get write the Helen.
Speaker 1: We'll get right to Helen. So we're gonna welcome our
Speaker 1: first group. Yes, and we have these little paddles made
Speaker 1: of shitty paper to let everyone know when their time
Speaker 1: is almost up. We were just we were playing Ruined Michelle,
Speaker 1: because they do this constantly, never make it, never makes
Speaker 1: it to air. But what they do is they hold
Speaker 1: up random things and just so you're standing on stage,
Speaker 1: your feet hurt because you've been standing there for forty
Speaker 1: minutes and they're in between shots or something and but
Speaker 1: they're they're looking straight at you like, oh you better stop,
Speaker 1: you better stop. Can I tell you something? And we're
Speaker 1: just gonna say this because we're unshackled by people. But
Speaker 1: when we had to do the panel with Jinx a
Speaker 1: couple of weeks ago, PR people were like, you cannot
Speaker 1: ask anything about behind the scenes like BTS. They can
Speaker 1: say nothing. So I mean, we're not going to teach
Speaker 1: this out of you now, but this is interesting. This
Speaker 1: is stuff we could have never gone from the pan.
Speaker 1: Oh well that's why they come to these things. You know.
Speaker 1: We're bringing on our first group and this is Team
Speaker 1: Shark Truths. We don't do straight colors. Please welcome Marie Faustin,
Speaker 1: Amy Miller for Molly Okay, Ray Straight, Duayne Perkins, Juke,
Speaker 1: Kim Boston, and jul Stay Sway Bay down their chairs. Okay, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: we've got enough chairs. We don't have enough chairs to
Speaker 1: the crowd show off. We make it approximate estimation. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. The first person to the mic is
Speaker 1: going to be Marie Faustine. Welcome Marie. What's going to
Speaker 1: be pre selected? It's pre selected, but I wrote it
Speaker 1: on the stage shoes, by the way, Thank you so much. Okay,
Speaker 1: are we ready? I'm prepared. This is Marine Foston's I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. All the people who went to Wyoming
Speaker 1: for Kanye West album released, Kanye Elizabeth West invited a
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty people to Wyoming and flew them out
Speaker 1: there to listen to the album. First of all, Wyoming
Speaker 1: is canceled. Okay, we weren't going before. We're definitely not
Speaker 1: going now. For fresh air and mountains and the great
Speaker 1: lakes are those in Wyoming? Don't nobody care? Okay? Let
Speaker 1: me run through the trash ass guest list for y'all
Speaker 1: real quick. Kim Kardashian was there with her fake as
Speaker 1: hard ass, but because she's his beard, right, Chloe Kardashian
Speaker 1: was These are facts and affects facts facts. Uh. Chloe
Speaker 1: Kardashian was there alone because the man don't love her.
Speaker 1: Chress Jenner was there with her new face pulled tighter
Speaker 1: than a virgin's ass. That's my butt, right, dear, and
Speaker 1: uh and north south east west five seconds? Let me
Speaker 1: tell you something, can you West? This trash people continue
Speaker 1: to be trash. Nobody that is better than me? Was there,
Speaker 1: Michelle Obama? Wasn't there? Beyond incompas you don't have with them?
Speaker 1: They book busy and bliss how Sandy? All right? The
Speaker 1: game is a foot, everyone giving up from this any Miller,
Speaker 1: prove it to us girlfriends, thanks for having me preselected
Speaker 1: or the do we love you pre selected? This is
Speaker 1: a Millers. I don't think so hurting your time starts now.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey, San Francisco. Oh shoot a
Speaker 1: born here bitch, and it sucks now. I used to
Speaker 1: be sexy and dirty and now it's just a pile
Speaker 1: of fucking boat choosing app scooters. The text seed, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry you don't want to see homeless people when
Speaker 1: you're getting to your startup job at eleven am. Maybe
Speaker 1: you should give them some of your fucking bitcoin. Travis,
Speaker 1: I hope a men's ill veteran thrust. Come on your Patagonia,
Speaker 1: you balding in so Oh, I'm sorry. You've lived in
Speaker 1: the Bay for two years and you're a Warriors fan.
Speaker 1: Now suck that dit you know like men used to
Speaker 1: do here fucking learn how to drive, learn how to
Speaker 1: parallel park, learn how to cross the street. You live
Speaker 1: in a city, now, honey, I have an idea for
Speaker 1: an app, Honey. It's called Jump off the fucking Bridge.
Speaker 1: Travis Secker. Here's a man of being San Franciscans. You're
Speaker 1: not Chinese or gay. I don't think so, honey. They
Speaker 1: we are currently chess. But she's a lad, she's a native,
Speaker 1: she's a local. Nets up, Molly, it's my fashion, okay,
Speaker 1: So talk to us about your decision the troll ball
Speaker 1: or a preest the topic. I did a pre selected
Speaker 1: This is Molly Austin's. I don't think so, honey. Her
Speaker 1: time starts now. Hello, honey, it's me and I don't so.
Speaker 1: Justin Timberlake, he's not good. He's not good. The Mirrors album,
Speaker 1: I don't even want to fucking hear it. You put
Speaker 1: it on the party parties over. He built his career
Speaker 1: on appropriating black culture and on the backs of two
Speaker 1: pop icons and national treasures, Janet Jackson and Britney Spears.
Speaker 1: Everybody blames Britney Spears, meltdown on Kevin Federline. But no,
Speaker 1: but no, but no, it was justin Timberlike. He would
Speaker 1: trade her, He could trade her in her most vulnerable hour. Okay,
Speaker 1: justin Timberlike didn't have a career when he left in Sync.
Speaker 1: He came out on stage all by himself. And what
Speaker 1: do people do? They boom boom boom, right, and he cried,
Speaker 1: he cried, he cried some what did you do? He
Speaker 1: framed Britney Spears in a Crimeer River music video. Then
Speaker 1: he has done nerve to be a Kate Spade person,
Speaker 1: not pa version of Michael Jackson. And what does he do?
Speaker 1: He raps his sisters titty out in the super Bowl
Speaker 1: and then he gets the Timper Bowl. Yeah and that Yes,
Speaker 1: I'm neither saying, oh that was amazing, well done. We
Speaker 1: all hate him now and please welcome to the stage.
Speaker 1: The token straight of this script, John gave straight. I'm straight.
Speaker 1: I wore the hat like this so you guys could know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it feels good to be a diversity higher. We bravely,
Speaker 1: we bravely offered you one stage to the crowd. Is
Speaker 1: it it's about time a white straight mail got something? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I want to take a hit of the ball. Here
Speaker 1: we go. No, I pick for you. This is not
Speaker 1: your rules, this is our I picked the ball because
Speaker 1: I don't know any of the rules of this. Okay,
Speaker 1: bitch your I don't think so, honey. Topic is the
Speaker 1: name Tory and John Gabrie's your minute starts now. Hi, honey,
Speaker 1: it's me. I don't think so. The stars are overhead.
Speaker 1: Listen for a second, Tory. Um, I have a question
Speaker 1: for you, Tori. You aren't either what Tori spelling, a
Speaker 1: political party or a white dude with flip flops on. Uh.
Speaker 1: I think now. There's only one Tory I know in
Speaker 1: my life, and he's a male, and he died of cancer,
Speaker 1: so I feel uncomfortable riffing on him. But he was
Speaker 1: such a douche before he passed. You know, when you die,
Speaker 1: you get retroactive kindness where everyone's like my father's funeral,
Speaker 1: people would go like he was a great man, and
Speaker 1: I'd be like, he wasn't. Like I get it. Today,
Speaker 1: we'll say it, but tomorrow I'm telling my therapist Barry
Speaker 1: something else. Um, all right, let's be honest. If you're
Speaker 1: Tory or one step away from being named Tanya. I'm sorry, Tory,
Speaker 1: but there's only so many jet Ski instructors you could
Speaker 1: fuss on. I think that's sound, Tori. The troll ball
Speaker 1: works do we have an Tories and the Tories here, Tori,
Speaker 1: it's okay space, Oh my god, thank god. Next up
Speaker 1: is Joe Wayne Perkin jacket. What do we think pre
Speaker 1: selected or the trollball pre selected Perkins. I don't think
Speaker 1: so many as time starts now cool, I don't think
Speaker 1: so honey. White women, I mean not all, just most. Um,
Speaker 1: either they're terrified of me or too friendly. I'm wearing
Speaker 1: a Puerto Rican grandmother shirt. How can you be afraid
Speaker 1: of me? But I will take your purse. I mean
Speaker 1: at least fifty three percent of you have to die. Um.
Speaker 1: I mean I mostly just want to be you, and
Speaker 1: I'm very Joe. This that you have privileges that I
Speaker 1: don't like. Um, speaking to managers all the time, um,
Speaker 1: wearing broods, um, not having lips, um, Oh my god.
Speaker 1: But um, for a second, I want to give you
Speaker 1: some encouragement to like, go out there and thrive. But
Speaker 1: stop calling the cops on black people. Thank you so much.
Speaker 1: Message delivery okay, next stop it is our good Judy, Joel,
Speaker 1: Kim Booster Spice or out the reading later. M I
Speaker 1: think I know what this is? Pre selection? Um, yeah
Speaker 1: it is. I didn't realize the trouble would be an option,
Speaker 1: and I also didn't realize Matt's family would be in
Speaker 1: the second room. This is gonna be rough for you guys,
Speaker 1: but this is Joe can boosters. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: As time starts now, I don't think so honey. That
Speaker 1: fart that comes the day after you bought them in
Speaker 1: a little come comes out. I do not think so, honey.
Speaker 1: I have trying to live my day after I have
Speaker 1: given it up to a man the night before without
Speaker 1: a condom. Yes, I know that's dangerous, but I am
Speaker 1: on prep so I do not think so honey. This
Speaker 1: come coming out of my asshole, ruining a pair of
Speaker 1: underwear and reminding me that I will not get HIV,
Speaker 1: but I might get that super gun to reastrate and
Speaker 1: die in a hospital because I couldn't get a ship transplant.
Speaker 1: I do make think so honey. This seminal experience that
Speaker 1: every gay man in this audience has experienced at one
Speaker 1: point in their life, not being represented in mainstream Hollywood
Speaker 1: game films, Lap Simon, give me the scene of love
Speaker 1: Simon cleaning out his dirty dress. Don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: Call me by your name. Timothy Shallow. May I know
Speaker 1: you've got some army sperm up in there. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: want to see you talk about the shrip factory that
Speaker 1: ends up in his underwear. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: If people come for me because this is in pop culture,
Speaker 1: my ass is culture. Bit yea woman, my asses culture bitch,
Speaker 1: child booster. We have now to close out group one,
Speaker 1: giving up for Tuesday slow, all right, so talk to us.
Speaker 1: Is it a pre slightly topic or the troll ball.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do pre selected because it's something on some
Speaker 1: of my heart right now. Okay, let's hear about I
Speaker 1: don't think so many her time starts now, I don't
Speaker 1: think so, honey. Broke dudes talking to me crazy? What
Speaker 1: the fuck you're in my house fucking me? You want
Speaker 1: to pay me back for a toothbrush? Your broke bitch?
Speaker 1: The funk? Are you talking about? Talking about how much
Speaker 1: water you using the shower? Honey? I've been getting money
Speaker 1: since the Clinton's was in office. Do not funk with me?
Speaker 1: All right? And now you want to come in my
Speaker 1: house arguing with me about my curtains and everything that's
Speaker 1: going on in here. Honey, I don't even know if
Speaker 1: you have a place to live all right, because you
Speaker 1: walked to my house with two backpacks and that should
Speaker 1: have been the fucking warning. Thirty seconds thirty seconds. Now
Speaker 1: I know you've got to see you on a regular
Speaker 1: basis because your girl is out here working in these streets.
Speaker 1: But I promise you won't give a funk about you,
Speaker 1: your ex wife, your baby mom, and I'm two kids
Speaker 1: because I ain't gonna be my ship ever. Seconds. You
Speaker 1: want to come for me, you want to do all
Speaker 1: of this, you want to stay bro garden with me, sweetheart,
Speaker 1: I'm too pretty, I'm too famous that you found the
Speaker 1: right fucking one today. God five seconds selling closing. If
Speaker 1: you got a nice rich Jewish man with a boat,
Speaker 1: hotel him the highlight your girl later on tonight. Wow,
Speaker 1: the team Start Truth really came for a wide ranging
Speaker 1: variety of topics. We're gonna go to Jinks in Alaska
Speaker 1: for some feedback and your decisions. You each get to
Speaker 1: pick one of these folks to move on to the
Speaker 1: final round of the gaunt. Let's get some let's get
Speaker 1: some thoughts, some some impressions. Well, there is a lot
Speaker 1: of good stuff there, you guys. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: good things coming out of some of you. The straight
Speaker 1: guy went on about an ambiguous Tory figure. Is it
Speaker 1: weird that the one straight male was the one guy
Speaker 1: who pulled from the troll ball? Is it like, is
Speaker 1: that saying something about straight male creativity? I don't know.
Speaker 1: That's for you, the audience, to decide, but I'm not
Speaker 1: mad at you, because well, Alaska, I just want to say,
Speaker 1: I wasn't expecting this to be so hilarious and amazing,
Speaker 1: and I had I had no idea what to expect
Speaker 1: coming in here. We were literally were just like putting
Speaker 1: on Jinx's panty girdles two seconds ago, and then they
Speaker 1: thrust us onto this stage and like, I'm just dying,
Speaker 1: Like everyone was so funny. Thank you, you give it
Speaker 1: up for Alaska, enjoying alaska pleasant surprise. I just want
Speaker 1: to say that no matter what happens, they think you
Speaker 1: all are winners. With that said, we must each make
Speaker 1: a decision. So Jinx, who have you chosen to go
Speaker 1: on to the final? We actually agree on both our decisions,
Speaker 1: so we just we just we each picked one, but
Speaker 1: we both pick both of you. And I'm going to
Speaker 1: announce Mary Fouston, Marie and you'll get you'll get ten
Speaker 1: extra points of you bring me a glass of wine
Speaker 1: next time you come up here. And Alaska Molly Austin.
Speaker 1: Moving on. Thank your team Chartruse Abe, John Gabris, Dain't Perkins, Boieva.
Speaker 1: We have too finalists, y'all. All right, it's time to
Speaker 1: move on to team Azure. Wow. I know her. He
Speaker 1: works in Tampa. Yes, was in the house, actually in
Speaker 1: the house. Thank you name Pete. Please give it up
Speaker 1: for Megan Gaily. Megan Peter Smith is in the house.
Speaker 1: Get a load of this hero for Rachel Pegram. Give
Speaker 1: it up for our token straight Ray, and give it
Speaker 1: up for Daniel Webber. Please give it up for miss
Speaker 1: Patty Harrison. And finally we have the Shears of may Night. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Fanny Pack follows the clear back policy rules. I love
Speaker 1: it well. Thank your team as your as your first up,
Speaker 1: as your is it as yours? I'm sure it's a call.
Speaker 1: It's it's various from persons to the culture. Culture, Welcome
Speaker 1: to the d We have Megan Gaily, come on outfit.
Speaker 1: So Megan talked to us. Will you be giving us
Speaker 1: a pre selected topic or the trollball I'm gonna do
Speaker 1: a pre selected topic that I have a lot of
Speaker 1: passion on that I could go on and on and
Speaker 1: on no, no, no, no, no and on. Oh we
Speaker 1: have a minute. This is Megan Gailies. I don't think
Speaker 1: so henty. Her time starts now. I don't think so honey.
Speaker 1: The way that Disney has tried to erase Daisy Duck,
Speaker 1: oh what the funk are they doing? She is a
Speaker 1: feminist icon. She is one of the most incredible cartoon
Speaker 1: characters of all time. She has a purse, she has meals,
Speaker 1: she tells don on when he has fucking in the wrong,
Speaker 1: and she is just gone while they celebrate Pluto. Pluto
Speaker 1: is barely literate. He is a dog. He is jump
Speaker 1: and I'm not trying to be shitty to many. Mini
Speaker 1: is clearly created by a white man with an Asian fetish. Okay, No,
Speaker 1: that's not okay. Daisy is here. Do we need her?
Speaker 1: At the most? She is speaking truth. She is out
Speaker 1: there going No, you are a deadbeat. Look at my
Speaker 1: duck boote. Watchall invite her anywhere, and you know what,
Speaker 1: Daisy Duck will not go quietly into the gentle, night y,
Speaker 1: tough feminist icon speaking truth to power. In each of
Speaker 1: her days. Incredible. Now, let's welcome to the stage. Peter
Speaker 1: Smanach Peter, Peter were gagged for the way to talk
Speaker 1: to us, talk to talk to you, talk to you
Speaker 1: about about Is this gonna gonna be um precently select recently.
Speaker 1: I love that about you. This is Peter Smans there.
Speaker 1: I don't think so, Honey starts now, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Wine shops. I know you've Northern Californians thinking, don't fight
Speaker 1: the hand that feeds you. We all paid for tickets
Speaker 1: today the Land of Sideways starring Sandra and nobody else VJ. Madson.
Speaker 1: For sure, you walk into a wine shop and say
Speaker 1: do you need help? Like, yes, I fucking need help.
Speaker 1: If I didn't need help, I would have a wine shop,
Speaker 1: thank you very much. And then this white supremacist bullshit.
Speaker 1: Each and every bottle is a different special snowflake. It's
Speaker 1: a grape. You are turning grapes into poison. Okay. I
Speaker 1: don't stick my nose into a sun made raisin box.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, leather and cherry, you know I
Speaker 1: don't do that. On one end of the spectrum, We've
Speaker 1: got it dry. On the other. We've got it wet
Speaker 1: and on the wet side, what they all become different,
Speaker 1: special little things. No, it it is poison. There are millions,
Speaker 1: millions of people in jail for selling weed. But you
Speaker 1: some dude named Vladimir who's like, I think you're like
Speaker 1: the grenache. You go to jail. That's what we're talking about,
Speaker 1: the grenache, Vladimir. I can I can tell you. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Peter Smith, and now please talking to the mic. Rachel.
Speaker 1: Oh the jump suit present? What are you thinking? You? Yes,
Speaker 1: you know, I didn't know that the bowl would be here.
Speaker 1: You know, she's always here. But we're gonna go pre select.
Speaker 1: She's in my head. She let her out. We'll let
Speaker 1: it out. Okay, so honey, her time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, eggs from real last farms, okay,
Speaker 1: I don't want it alright. That yolk is too yellow?
Speaker 1: Is mi A or no? Blast? Yellow? Did open? And
Speaker 1: I said, I don't recognize that egg. I want my
Speaker 1: eggs mustard yellow. Okay, I want my government issued eggs.
Speaker 1: If I go to one bar and I don't want
Speaker 1: to act that like, oh what chicken laid it? I'm
Speaker 1: opening out. I don't know what it tastes like. Craziness,
Speaker 1: madness in my mouth. I'm recognizable to anything I've ever
Speaker 1: had in my whole life. I want an egg to
Speaker 1: taste like water, all right, I don't egg. I want
Speaker 1: my nastiest ship that I get hell coming out of
Speaker 1: the little star with the thing. One of them is
Speaker 1: cracked in the back. I don't like this. Every egg
Speaker 1: is a special and individual bitch. Nor I guess if
Speaker 1: the eggs, if the chickens being all close together means
Speaker 1: I get an egg that I recognized, And I guess
Speaker 1: you can call Peter and arrest me. Okay, and that's
Speaker 1: what arrest colored egg. Everyone, it's our streets in the scoop. Look,
Speaker 1: no friends, Thank you so much, Luke. Pleasure to have you. Okay,
Speaker 1: what are we thinking? We're going for preeslected topic or
Speaker 1: the trouball Luke? I was thinking about it, and I
Speaker 1: think I feel like I could get through my pre
Speaker 1: selected topic with enough time to do an addition to
Speaker 1: do a trouble Wow. So what are you saying? You
Speaker 1: want to do the preest topic for thirty seconds and
Speaker 1: then at thirty you want me to pull something out.
Speaker 1: I'm talking this is thinking like like forty five, forty
Speaker 1: five you want me to pull it? Okay, okay, all right, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, we're no no, we're doing plect never been
Speaker 1: done before. Seconds of your topic and then a fifteen
Speaker 1: tall which will shock you. Yeah, it will shock you. Okay,
Speaker 1: this is Luke Knole's I don't think so, honey, because
Speaker 1: time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Adults like
Speaker 1: grown esque men and women who are super into Disney.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. The movies are made for children, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: And their emotionally manipulative, and they're killing people's grandma's. They
Speaker 1: killed Mulan's grandma, they killed Pokohama's grandma. They're turning grandma's
Speaker 1: into skeletons and man raising ship. If you commissioned like
Speaker 1: a minimalist poster of Leelan Stitch, you shouldn't also have
Speaker 1: like a really nice exposed brick apartment in Atlanta. Also,
Speaker 1: I know grown ass woman who has Kuna Matata tattooed
Speaker 1: across her bood zone and she has that means no
Speaker 1: worries for the rest of her days. But she has
Speaker 1: a child, So like, maybe some worries for some of
Speaker 1: your days. Also, it's like they call it Peter Pan
Speaker 1: syndrome for a reason. Your topic is the First Amendment,
Speaker 1: the first Amendment, guys, I don't think so, honey. For
Speaker 1: semendment not everyone should be able to say what they
Speaker 1: want to say. I'm like, there are so many people
Speaker 1: every day on Twitter who are making that more and
Speaker 1: more evident topic from Luno, thank you, Evader Wow and
Speaker 1: all in time amazing. Well, next up we have Daniel
Speaker 1: Wow to the stage. Hello, So what do we think
Speaker 1: the topic or the trollball? Pese lax, I got all
Speaker 1: the trolls in my ball since Danna lives. I don't
Speaker 1: think so many A time starts now, I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Dead Barbara Bush, that's right, the bitch. We invaded a
Speaker 1: rack and she dressed as a dog and wrote a book.
Speaker 1: Fuck dead Barbara Bush? Are you kidding me? That bitch
Speaker 1: the pearls? What a statement are you? Are you? When
Speaker 1: the bitch should have used their old Nazi money to
Speaker 1: give that neck of hers a luftansa. That's a that's
Speaker 1: a three generation bilingual joke. Fuck that bit. She was
Speaker 1: surrounded She died surrounded by family and loved ones and
Speaker 1: two war criminals, Fuck you dead, Barbara Bush. This we
Speaker 1: are nuts in this world about like making martyrs out
Speaker 1: of dead people when she died, right, I mean, remember
Speaker 1: when Paul Walker died nine thousand Fast and Furious movies
Speaker 1: and they all sucked and then he died and the
Speaker 1: world lost its mind, and then two days later Nelson
Speaker 1: Mandela died and nobody cared. Right, It's like in the
Speaker 1: fucking nineties when Princess Diana died in the world lost
Speaker 1: its mind, and Mother Theresa died two days later and
Speaker 1: nobody cared. We always lose somebody gorgeous and fussable, and
Speaker 1: then like two days later, we lose somebody you might
Speaker 1: have sex with because they did something nice for humanity.
Speaker 1: I mean, because nothing. Man Della was a handsome man.
Speaker 1: But let's be honest. The only reason Mother Teresa I
Speaker 1: ever got any dick was because the woman had no teeth.
Speaker 1: They get to think about it, about Mother Teresa something
Speaker 1: to think about. No one talks about that. No one
Speaker 1: ever talks about that. They don't talk about that enough
Speaker 1: in schools. They don't teach a whyt Really well, let's
Speaker 1: welcome to the stage, Patty. Oh, they're doing the ruined Michelle. Okay, listen, Patty,
Speaker 1: are we doing priests like the topic or the trouball um?
Speaker 1: I wanted to do the trouble, but I think that
Speaker 1: there's something that I've been thinking a lot about that's
Speaker 1: very important to me than to get it all right,
Speaker 1: Patty her since I don't think so, honey, her time
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't think so, honey. The sloth bear
Speaker 1: of my store, no egg, queen, Yeah, you all know
Speaker 1: what it is. In case you don't know what the
Speaker 1: sloth bear of my store. In nineteen fifty seven, a
Speaker 1: sloth bear in India and they did a village and
Speaker 1: killed in a twelve people and named over twenty seven
Speaker 1: and not on my watch, queen, no way, bitch, nasty bear.
Speaker 1: I hate that bear. And some more contexts on a
Speaker 1: sloth bear. So what makes us bears so violent is
Speaker 1: that sloth bears have really lost and a lot of bears,
Speaker 1: even grizzly bears, have shot enough cloths that they can
Speaker 1: climb trees to escape, so they have a fear response.
Speaker 1: But sloth bears response is always to fight, and that's
Speaker 1: a lot of time. It doesn't just eat you, it'll
Speaker 1: it maim you and leave you live show on your
Speaker 1: face and all your sensory organs. And I get so
Speaker 1: fucking worked up over this because they're allowed to exist.
Speaker 1: So if you see a fucking phlo bear in said Francisco,
Speaker 1: do what you need to do, bitch, So sorry gonna
Speaker 1: put you through that. Thank you for sharing. Welcome of
Speaker 1: shears made. Oh my god, it is jumpsuit season. I
Speaker 1: love Okay here you're an old pro. What's it gonna be?
Speaker 1: Got to pre select, pre select? I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. Trees
Speaker 1: in cages. You know, when you're walking down the street
Speaker 1: and you see a tree minus own business on the
Speaker 1: sidewalk and it's in a full last cage around the trunk.
Speaker 1: What are we so afraid of? What do we think
Speaker 1: it's gonna happen? It's just trying to live its life
Speaker 1: and give us oxygen so we can breathe. Honey. The
Speaker 1: worst that could happen is that what it grows like
Speaker 1: it's supposed to, and the roots up. Uplift the sidewalk, well, good,
Speaker 1: uplift all the sidewalks. We shouldn't even have them. We're
Speaker 1: invading the tree space more than the trees are invading
Speaker 1: our space. And really this is all a microcosm of
Speaker 1: the American justice system. And then the black treak, just
Speaker 1: like that man didn't ask to be brought to this country.
Speaker 1: Break tree, did not ask to be inside walks, sidewalking sidewalks,
Speaker 1: did not land on wad on sidewalk sidewalk, landed on tree. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: something to think about that. No one ever talks about.
Speaker 1: No one ever talks about that. I just tied. Just
Speaker 1: heard a peep out of Alaska. She said, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: this is too hard. This is a good GRIS is
Speaker 1: a very good group, but we need some feedback. Let's start.
Speaker 1: Let's start with you drinks first of all. Um, Yes
Speaker 1: to every queen who came in a panted romper today,
Speaker 1: reclaiming your femininity and your masculinity at the same time. Okay,
Speaker 1: I think there's just so much good stuff off I'm
Speaker 1: gonna just make I'm gonna claim my winner right now.
Speaker 1: And it's because I fucking hate eggs. It's just I
Speaker 1: hate him so much so, the fact that you hate
Speaker 1: any kind of egg, whether it be farm fresh or
Speaker 1: government issued, I feel like we're on the same team.
Speaker 1: So my winner is Rachel. I'm not going to pronounce
Speaker 1: a single name correctly tonight, miss Alaska thunder fuck um.
Speaker 1: Our other winner is and I kept I kept mishearing
Speaker 1: her name on the mic, and I thought that you
Speaker 1: were saying Patty Hurst. But I was like, where, but
Speaker 1: this is this is our other winner, Patty Harris. Up
Speaker 1: for everyone and team I'm sure heck Gilly, Pierce Smith,
Speaker 1: Rachel Pegram, Lukens, Daniel Web, Patty Harrison and the shears. Wow,
Speaker 1: this is you guys. It's a tight competition, isn't it.
Speaker 1: I mean, can we give honorable mention to um gives
Speaker 1: a sheer for the treason cages? Come on, I never
Speaker 1: even thought of the wild card round round people. Okay,
Speaker 1: so listen. Now we have Team FUSHA, Team FUSA. Tell
Speaker 1: them all about This is a pretty stacked group, so
Speaker 1: please welcome to the stage. First up, Sydney Washington. Yes
Speaker 1: here you god, everyone, what's up? Saying hello to Sam Taggerts.
Speaker 1: And then please welcome Laura La Ramirez. Come on, Laura
Speaker 1: La Ramirez. Everyone giving up for Andrew Mukes. Who is
Speaker 1: our straight group? N check it though, Oh you're straight
Speaker 1: fall on the ground, on the ground. The next up,
Speaker 1: we have the great Jabooky young Wife. Yes, we have
Speaker 1: three time last cultures, I kind of award winner Pat Rigan, Yes, honey.
Speaker 1: And finally we have the Star of Ocean's a crazy
Speaker 1: rich agents up. Yeah. Oh all right, people, everyone welcomes
Speaker 1: Sydney Washington to the mic at this time. Yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: what have we got? What have we got? We got
Speaker 1: pre pre hold on one second, this is Sydney Washington's
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Her time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Mary Kayton Ashley. Yes, I could
Speaker 1: drag them on the minute they choose or their terrible
Speaker 1: clothing line, but this ship is personal. These two bitches
Speaker 1: came to my job. I'm away triss, right. They came in.
Speaker 1: First of all, I didn't know who they were because
Speaker 1: they had dusty ballet flats and they looked like too
Speaker 1: homeless little boys. What everybody knew who where they were?
Speaker 1: And I was like, who are these dirty people? Why
Speaker 1: are they here? Why are they here? Right? So they
Speaker 1: come in and they keep king and with the entourage,
Speaker 1: they got their fifty thou dollar bag, right, they get
Speaker 1: all the ship. I give him the bill I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: they got coins, they're gonna pay me right. First they
Speaker 1: put eight hundred dollar over tip. I said, yes, I'm
Speaker 1: going on a trip. Yes, I'm paying my rent. Then
Speaker 1: one of the twins, I don't know which twin it was,
Speaker 1: but she said no, no, no, that's too much. What
Speaker 1: that's just enough? I need more. So then they scratched
Speaker 1: it out and put six hundred dollars. I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: I can still work with that. I can still work
Speaker 1: with that. Then another funk from the back was like, no,
Speaker 1: that's too much money. They scratched that out. They scratched
Speaker 1: that ship out so many times. They left me fifty
Speaker 1: fucking pitch. It left me fifty dollars. And it don't
Speaker 1: be very black white dress at work. I don't think so, Honey,
Speaker 1: Mary Kane fucking ask me. But I have to hear
Speaker 1: the end of that story. This fuck that blast. But
Speaker 1: those ghosts, they are ghosts. We love them, We love
Speaker 1: them though, no, we love them, No, we love them.
Speaker 1: Next up, we have our friends, Sam haggling, so nervous.
Speaker 1: Shut up. I'm an idiot. You believe in you so much?
Speaker 1: Can you look amazing? To shut up? Looks so good. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: I'm sure we're gonna talk about how could you look?
Speaker 1: I love you an idiot? Okay, what do you pick?
Speaker 1: Do you? Big priest liked it? I thought about this
Speaker 1: a lot, okay, and I'm gonna pick priest. Okay, Okay, interesting,
Speaker 1: this is Sam Taggards. I don't think so, honey. As
Speaker 1: time starts now, I don't think so honey. Sir Nicholas
Speaker 1: Jonas and the gay men who allow him to continue, yes,
Speaker 1: does he even make music? I just see these gay
Speaker 1: men worshiping him and his fucking hot asked body like,
Speaker 1: who cares. I'm not trying to be a bit, but
Speaker 1: if you're a gay man and you want a hot
Speaker 1: ass patty, probably just look in the mirror. You probably
Speaker 1: work out all the time. You work out all the time.
Speaker 1: Nick Jonas has a hold over you. It is a spell,
Speaker 1: and I feel that there is something larger happening here
Speaker 1: with the government. I don't want to talk about conspiracy theories,
Speaker 1: but something is up. I honestly feel that at the
Speaker 1: snap of Sir Nicholas's finger, you would kill. You would
Speaker 1: turn to your partner and you would kill. And look.
Speaker 1: I don't want to get into these conspiracy, but you
Speaker 1: are under a spell by the government that controls Sir
Speaker 1: Nicholas Jonas, look inside yourself, and that's when I didn't.
Speaker 1: It's a call to act. It's true. We all need
Speaker 1: to really think about where we're at. Okay, coming to
Speaker 1: the stage is Laura La Ramirez. Everyone, Laura La Laura.
Speaker 1: Do we know what we're doing is gonna be pre
Speaker 1: selected or trollball? It's pre selected. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Her time starts now. I don't think so, honey. My
Speaker 1: big big bonner I cannot control. It's so big. It's
Speaker 1: so big it hurts. Every time I think of men
Speaker 1: falling from the sky or sexy ladies. It just gets
Speaker 1: bitter and get bigger and bigger, and then it goes
Speaker 1: into side of my eyes inside off act bread. It
Speaker 1: comes on my ears. You know what I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: You know I'm talking about you know I'm talking about.
Speaker 1: Let's cheer my big big botner. Yeah, yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: think my big big bonner goes down when I think
Speaker 1: about Christian Stewart. She's bad. She supports one ellen that's
Speaker 1: really bad. Did you know that there's a tape of
Speaker 1: Christie Stewart as a little kid. Su did It's all
Speaker 1: my Apple TV. I got it and I watched it
Speaker 1: and I got a big, big, big big ball. Lord.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I don't think so hard me. Wow, I
Speaker 1: wanted it. Whoever that little boy was. That little boy
Speaker 1: was funny. That was beautiful, all right, and now give
Speaker 1: it up for Andrew Dismuyes bravery. Okay, okay, Andrew, Hi, Hi,
Speaker 1: we have something written down on some on some paper,
Speaker 1: so it seems like selected. Yeah. I couldn't even memorize
Speaker 1: a minute of material. Okay, it's okay, baby, It's okay baby. Okay, Andrew,
Speaker 1: this is your I don't think so, honey, and his
Speaker 1: time starts now. Okay, I don't think so honey. Escape
Speaker 1: room familiar with this white nonsense San Francisco. Yeah, um,
Speaker 1: escape rooms are a proof that white people will pay
Speaker 1: money to feel like they can't get out of something.
Speaker 1: It's not just white, it's also nerd ship. What are
Speaker 1: you doing? On a website for an escape room in
Speaker 1: l A. It says it's great for dates, family outings,
Speaker 1: and corporate team building events. You know what's never good
Speaker 1: at anything? That's all three of those. If you've ever
Speaker 1: been on a date and been like this would be
Speaker 1: a great corporate team building exercise. It's probably a terrible date.
Speaker 1: It's nerd ship. You wouldn't wear a fedora on. You
Speaker 1: wouldn't wear a fedor on a date. And going on
Speaker 1: a date to an escape room is like locking a
Speaker 1: woman inside a fedora. Everybody doing that's that's real good everyone.
Speaker 1: It is time for jabooky young Yes, yes, yes, what's up?
Speaker 1: What's up? What's have pre selected? Okay, I'm gonna read
Speaker 1: it off my phone like a two thousand eleven Drake
Speaker 1: free stuff. Okay, jabooky, jabooky turn on Drake so fast,
Speaker 1: so quick. I was his biggest supporter. He's the light
Speaker 1: skinned queen. He is our queen. We answer to that,
Speaker 1: jabooky young Whites. I don't think so, honey. His time
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't think so, honey. Lattis you nasty bitch?
Speaker 1: Lettuce is the honeydew of leafy green one on. She
Speaker 1: just sits there and she takes up space and she
Speaker 1: lets the other one shine best. And you know what's
Speaker 1: sucked up. You know what's sucked up. Miss Spinach has
Speaker 1: been out here putting in lurk for years. Miss Finish
Speaker 1: has been doing so much. She's crossed over. She has
Speaker 1: done smoothies, wraps, motherfucking cass who rose? Okay, okay, but look,
Speaker 1: but look, people say that she doesn't play in Middle America,
Speaker 1: so she doesn't have as big of a career as Lettuce.
Speaker 1: Doesn't you know how funked up that is. That's fucked up.
Speaker 1: That's fucked up. Also, Iceberg, Lettuce, what the funk are
Speaker 1: you doing? Bitch? I don't think so, honey, Like you
Speaker 1: could be using that water to like give to thirsty
Speaker 1: humans instead. Like that ship tastes like come druns cardboard
Speaker 1: and like that is on a good day, honestly, Like
Speaker 1: that ship is so nasty. Um, that's one I did
Speaker 1: you dirty? But I think it was enough. That was
Speaker 1: that was a good placed. No faith of vegetables crossed over,
Speaker 1: the faith till of vegetables. That's spinach, spin dep spin
Speaker 1: dip exactly. It's it's become an appetizer. She's crossed over.
Speaker 1: She's the face she showed us verst atility. She has
Speaker 1: the rain, and now it is time for pata. Okay, pat,
Speaker 1: what's this going to be? What I've selected is pretty sell. Okay,
Speaker 1: but I don't think so money. As time starts now,
Speaker 1: I actually don't think so honey, Troy Savan Okay, first,
Speaker 1: you're like a twenty two gay successful already. I don't
Speaker 1: think so honey. Okay, no offense jabooky, so honey, I
Speaker 1: don't think a choice Savon. I mean he started this
Speaker 1: fucking epidemic of these young girls, did I going platinum?
Speaker 1: Sucking blond? Okay, dying your hip pot and blonde is
Speaker 1: not a fucking personality that that makes you interesting like
Speaker 1: it is the new like going abroad for twenty year
Speaker 1: old game man um, I don't think, so honey, like
Speaker 1: these over dramatic like scoop knights, I'm done with the scoop. Next,
Speaker 1: let me see a flor, a floral butting down. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, I don't think so many traits
Speaker 1: of on the metaphor bloom for bottoming. What is this
Speaker 1: mysticizing of bottoming? Okay, this artful metaphor like bottoming isn't art. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's implorant. It's healthy, but it isn't art, and it's pretentious.
Speaker 1: But a second to bloom for one person? Have you
Speaker 1: ever seen choice of on? Timothy Chilly in the same
Speaker 1: room at the same time. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: On expiracy theory ECO, and no one ever talks about that.
Speaker 1: You've never seen them in the same room, and no
Speaker 1: one ever talks about it. Please welcome to the stage,
Speaker 1: fey already, so bad? Be good? Okay, like half a
Speaker 1: trollball and half like a alright, so first thirty seconds
Speaker 1: will be your regular topic, and then first thirty second
Speaker 1: shot out. So I have to like yell and speak
Speaker 1: really fast. Okay, whatever your pace is. I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Her time starts now, Okay, I don't think so honey. Pigeons, um,
Speaker 1: they're so fucking disgusting. I was outside of Ralphs in
Speaker 1: Los Angeles and I saw one pigeon. It was fucking
Speaker 1: another pigeon, and that pigeon was sucking a dead pigeon
Speaker 1: and the dead pigeon was squashed like a fucking pancake.
Speaker 1: You guys are so discussing even want to vomit out
Speaker 1: of my fucking asshole. I fucking see pigeons in New York.
Speaker 1: They fucking walk around and sucking sixty nine fucking dead
Speaker 1: squirrels and ship like that. So I fucking hate pigeons.
Speaker 1: I wish they all die. I don't give a funk
Speaker 1: kicking one of the going live on Instagram. Going live
Speaker 1: on Instagram, you know what you look like, You're fucking idiots.
Speaker 1: Going live on Instagram is well, you look like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys so stupid. Going live on Instagram and anything
Speaker 1: you want to come up with stuff, there's all you're doing, like, oh,
Speaker 1: what's up? You're on seconds cool? You act like you're
Speaker 1: not reading the compliments. You are reading every single coment
Speaker 1: coming down, and you're just like, yeah, yeah, it's it's
Speaker 1: a new it's a new cuts five seconds okay, uh yeah,
Speaker 1: um okay, all right, yeah, I as respect another strong
Speaker 1: group here, but all right, let's go jinx some feedback
Speaker 1: for these young these young girls. I can't believe, Okay
Speaker 1: and Ashley did that to you. I'm so upset. Um okay,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of good stuff. I circled literally, everyone's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but I do have a favorite? Um okay, so do
Speaker 1: I yeah? Okay, So Andrew dis mucus, how do you
Speaker 1: say dis mukes? Okay? Wonderful. He moves on to the
Speaker 1: final round. I didn't get to say anything. Okay, first
Speaker 1: of all escape rooms. Yes, that is white nonsense. Trixie
Speaker 1: Mattel describes this like puzzles escape rooms. That's white people
Speaker 1: creating problems for themselves because they're so privileged. And you
Speaker 1: may be the token straight appear, but many wonderful love
Speaker 1: affairs have started with me dressed as a milk and
Speaker 1: some straight guy looking kind of uncomfortable and frightened, and
Speaker 1: then it led to nine months of sheer bliss. So
Speaker 1: this is my Instagram handle. You can direct message me.
Speaker 1: There you're going and you win. She's amazing. Wow, Wait
Speaker 1: later you were were you stirring a cauldron earlier? Oh?
Speaker 1: Circling everyone? Circling everyone because you loved everyone so much?
Speaker 1: Feedback from you? What do you think of this? Because
Speaker 1: no matter what happens, Um, you all are champions. You
Speaker 1: are All Stars. You are and if you don't win
Speaker 1: this time, you can always come back for All Stars
Speaker 1: and possibly win that. Yeah. Um, if you don't do
Speaker 1: it right the first time, just come back and try
Speaker 1: at it, or if you lose first, you can exit
Speaker 1: the stage saying your last name over and over and
Speaker 1: be canonized. Stream season. My choice, my choice, my choice,
Speaker 1: My choice for winner is Sydney Washington, give it up
Speaker 1: for everyone, Sydney Washington, Sam Taggert, Lorlier and Pat thank you.
Speaker 1: At this time, we are going to welcome our finalists
Speaker 1: on stage for a troll Bowl only final round, and
Speaker 1: at the end, you guys will have to agree together
Speaker 1: on a winner on one win. All right, everyone, please
Speaker 1: welcome Marie Fallston, Molly Austin, Rachel Pegram, Patty, Harry Soon,
Speaker 1: Andrew Disney and Sydney Washington, Sydney Washington, this crew, this
Speaker 1: is all stars. Okay, let's just get right into it. Um,
Speaker 1: we don't have much time left. Let's start with Marie
Speaker 1: fall Marie Fauston to the to the mic, and this
Speaker 1: is a Trollball only round. Oh sis this well, I
Speaker 1: didn't get that email. It was in the email. It
Speaker 1: was in the email. The email culture read the fucking
Speaker 1: email email or my Yahoo. I don't think so, honey,
Speaker 1: having to okay, alright, okay, I'm not ready, All right,
Speaker 1: Marie Fauston, Okay, currently these people are performing outside your
Speaker 1: I don't think so, honey. Topic is salt and pepper,
Speaker 1: and your time sharts now. I don't think so strong
Speaker 1: black women killing it in. We got a lot of
Speaker 1: nerve to be up here, just Megan, White people like us.
Speaker 1: I don't think so soft having found Jesus and not
Speaker 1: doing all how freaky f reps. No, I don't think
Speaker 1: so Pep and spindle Ella and all of other people
Speaker 1: that are just thriving with matching haircuts and checks. I
Speaker 1: don't think so black girls were too magical for these
Speaker 1: white people. They are not prepared. Okay, do you see
Speaker 1: this pilt that I'm wearing. It's not even mine, but
Speaker 1: it's cute though. Fifteen seconds here thriving like a queen
Speaker 1: should be. Okay. I don't think so Salt and Pepper
Speaker 1: and Spinderella, because that's not a splice. There we go.
Speaker 1: I don't think some white people who don't see any
Speaker 1: food because you need salt and Pepper's on a competitive
Speaker 1: final round. Everyone for Molly Austin in these finals. Molly,
Speaker 1: we've drawn a trouble topic for you, and your trouble
Speaker 1: to is another email MC Nicki Minaj and your times
Speaker 1: starts now. I don't, I don't. I don't think so
Speaker 1: Nicki Minaj, and I'll tell you why real fast. I
Speaker 1: do not like a fake British accent because I do
Speaker 1: not like England. I would tell you why. I don't
Speaker 1: need to be reminded of a place that reigns all
Speaker 1: the time, people who think they're funny for no reason. Okay, Honey,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't need it. I don't. I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what else I don't need from you, Nick, NICKI
Speaker 1: minaj is that I don't think and I think, God,
Speaker 1: I don't think I would like to be friends with you.
Speaker 1: I don't think that would be fun. I would. I
Speaker 1: think you would say not nice things to about my
Speaker 1: shoes a lot, and that's what you are not. She's
Speaker 1: probably very critical. And when it comes to Wardrob, oh
Speaker 1: my god, that was very hard. Okay. And now to
Speaker 1: the mic is Rachel Pegram. Okay, okay, Rachel Pegram. Your
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Any trouble finale topic is Terry
Speaker 1: Gross and your alright, it's fine, it's fine. We're gonna
Speaker 1: for something else. Not everyone knows Terry Gross. I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: fresh Air. All right, Okay, let's see she has Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: your trouble topic is Bobby from Queer Eye. Bobby is
Speaker 1: the one that does yes Bobby for the most unimpeachable one.
Speaker 1: This is. I don't think her time starts now. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't think. Honey, Bobby, what's up with you? You
Speaker 1: are here on the show doing all the work. Well,
Speaker 1: you should do less. You'll see all of your cats faces.
Speaker 1: They gotta do a little bit and they get a
Speaker 1: lot of credit. Anthony Avocado's life, Uh fucking He's like, yes,
Speaker 1: put this shirt on. Fucking Jonathan, He's like work ok.
Speaker 1: Like Corebo is like, wow, your life is going, Like,
Speaker 1: come on, Bobby, do less. Like look at that house
Speaker 1: and be like, I don't know, slap a ConA paint.
Speaker 1: Let's go home for the week. We've gotta been a shooting.
Speaker 1: You's out here. You're doing work outside. I was not
Speaker 1: getting paid for it. Who knows what that rate looks like?
Speaker 1: Is he to Sam? It better be after at least?
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Bobby's doing too much work out here,
Speaker 1: not enough credit? Man? About was Bobby? I don't signed
Speaker 1: with so many people. I get more fun than I man,
Speaker 1: And I was Bobby gotta be a damn maskuly man. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: come into the My for a trouble is past, okay, alright, Patty,
Speaker 1: your trouble Finelle topic is when people say peace out
Speaker 1: and it's just here. Things at times starts. Now, I
Speaker 1: don't think so honny people who say peace out, Okay,
Speaker 1: the idea of peace doesn't exist. No, no, it can't
Speaker 1: exist because you know why, capitalism, my favorite thing of
Speaker 1: all time exists. Oh more capitalism. Everybody loves it. Oh,
Speaker 1: and I have to say this is not And I
Speaker 1: don't think so many. I love war. I do think so, honey.
Speaker 1: I love war the way people go out there and
Speaker 1: they're kicking stuff down and like just like dragging whole
Speaker 1: like communities of people. It's so. I mean, chef's kiss
Speaker 1: is a little hack, but I'll just keep doing it. Anyways,
Speaker 1: My I don't think so honey. Uh yeah, saying peace out,
Speaker 1: what do you have else to offer? You know what?
Speaker 1: Some other things you can say is by you can
Speaker 1: says nice Sissia. You can say, um, I'm actually not
Speaker 1: that culture. So I don't know other languages. And that's
Speaker 1: a choice I make. And that's that's strong. Anyways. Yeah,
Speaker 1: don't say peace how saying something kind of say um,
Speaker 1: I'm she's crying again? By cheerfully, she so moved, she's
Speaker 1: moved to tears. We all were um now Andrew dismukes.
Speaker 1: Come on our only now. Oh my god. Okay, now
Speaker 1: here we go. The trollball topic is as follows. We're
Speaker 1: gonna pick it right, how okay you're I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Finale topic is Hillary and your time starts now. I
Speaker 1: don't think so, honey, Hillary Duff? The fuck you doing
Speaker 1: on TV lands you are, Lizzie McGuire, Why are you
Speaker 1: on Younger? Y'all seen that show is actually great? Um
Speaker 1: there is a marathon going down in the Holiday Inn
Speaker 1: right now. Yeah, I just watched it. It's getting bad
Speaker 1: for Lizzie. No, I don't think so, Honny, Hillary Duff,
Speaker 1: because I just don't think so. Overall this whole Disney Channel.
Speaker 1: Actors are awesome musicians, but then they're back as actors
Speaker 1: when they're adults again. I don't get it. I don't
Speaker 1: know any of her songs. Uh. This is just I'm
Speaker 1: just I'm happy to be a part of the show
Speaker 1: and uh seconds keep going even like make it to
Speaker 1: the finals is like incredible. And to be here with
Speaker 1: five second, to be here with what I call the future.
Speaker 1: The future is on stage, every one, Thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: And now finishing up the finale round, is Sydney Washington?
Speaker 1: Sidney a crowd favorite, A crowd favorite? Okay, bone, what
Speaker 1: do we have here Sydney? Or I don't think so, honey.
Speaker 1: Topic is Melissa Joan Hart another nineties darling? Your time
Speaker 1: starts now? I don't think so, honey, Melissa Joan Hart?
Speaker 1: Because who are you? You can never be your mother?
Speaker 1: Why don't you do something else? Why am I thinking
Speaker 1: of the same person? Are you thinking? Was she on
Speaker 1: et Norina? The Teenage Listen? It's too many white people
Speaker 1: on TV. I can't. I don't think so, honey, you
Speaker 1: white women that got the same names. I can't keep up.
Speaker 1: It's too much. I'm too tired. I got too many jobs. Okay,
Speaker 1: I got two kids at home, just my titties. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I can't. Melissa Joan Hard? What is she doing? What
Speaker 1: is she doing for us? Can she give me her
Speaker 1: Netflix password? Because honestly, what are you doing? Said? Get
Speaker 1: your name? Do something? I can't? Did she have a
Speaker 1: shoe line? Jeans? What can she do for me? Can
Speaker 1: she give me a swipe on the tray? What is
Speaker 1: she doing? Can she give me your uberpool code? Like?
Speaker 1: What's going on? Melissa John Her? Who is she I
Speaker 1: don't know who she is. I still Y'll tell me
Speaker 1: who that's she's really super tract here Melissa Johns her
Speaker 1: and Terry Gross, we don't know who the fuck you
Speaker 1: are they all right, So listen, this has been the
Speaker 1: final round. This is the time when we are giving
Speaker 1: out the winner and this person will be named the
Speaker 1: third last Cultured Recess Icon Award winner. So Jinx and Alaska,
Speaker 1: let's give some final thoughts and then some final word
Speaker 1: and if you win, come to the front of the
Speaker 1: stage and have your fucking goddamn moment moment um. I
Speaker 1: I commend you Molly for having to talk bad about
Speaker 1: the we Nicki Minaj just you have way through. You
Speaker 1: just hated yourself, so you get my honorable mention. Oh God,
Speaker 1: all her songs just rhyme words with themselves. It's just
Speaker 1: like cake Boss. I'm the cake boss. You want a
Speaker 1: cake boss because I'm the cake Boss. And then the
Speaker 1: last time she says it, she says it in a
Speaker 1: weird voice like Kate Moss. You can't just you can't
Speaker 1: just rhyme a word with itself over, Yes you can
Speaker 1: if it's got a sick beat. O. Um. Well, but
Speaker 1: I know. Okay, so you got my honorable mention? Do
Speaker 1: you have an honorable mention? Before we announced the winner? Yes? Uh,
Speaker 1: silly for not knowing who Melissa Joan Art was still
Speaker 1: thinking it worked. Yeah, why doesn't she have a shoe line?
Speaker 1: I would buy them. I don't think so, honey, Melissa
Speaker 1: Joan Hart because she has never been in a movie,
Speaker 1: a TV show, or any project that wasn't produced by
Speaker 1: her father. Look at it. He's the executive producer on
Speaker 1: every single project she has ever worked on. Anyway, wait,
Speaker 1: hold on, wait, before we announced the winner, So you
Speaker 1: guys want to agree us and I don't think. Yes,
Speaker 1: we wore my comfy shoes in my pants for this, Yes,
Speaker 1: and this is her seems I don't think so many
Speaker 1: time starts now, I don't think so, honey. Giving drag
Speaker 1: queens an inch and we deserve a mile. Okay. You
Speaker 1: have carved out this tiny little market that we get
Speaker 1: to inhabit in mainstream media, and you have deemed us
Speaker 1: a novelty act, and you gave us a TV show,
Speaker 1: but you still put us in the background and treat
Speaker 1: us like we are fless celebrities when we have two
Speaker 1: times the Instagram followers is half of these celebrities. Yes,
Speaker 1: I know that there have been many queer people making
Speaker 1: it big in mainstream media these days, but Neil Patrick,
Speaker 1: Harris is Jim Parsons, even though they are extremely talented,
Speaker 1: are still white cis gendered men. So it's the only
Speaker 1: way you can be queer and make it big is
Speaker 1: if you are non threatening. Then funk that. I'm happy
Speaker 1: being in fleis celebrity because at least my community knows
Speaker 1: how hard I work for them. Yeah, she did. That's
Speaker 1: one man. That's why I'm gonna Alaska. Could you could
Speaker 1: Alaska Thunderfuck? Yes, she's gonna pick from this ball cotroball
Speaker 1: she's doing. She's gonna do it herself. Everyone Alaska thunder
Speaker 1: And I don't think so, Honey, Alaska. I'm gonna pick
Speaker 1: it out ourselves, all right. What we can do I
Speaker 1: can do? Okay, Ready to go. I'll have to UNDERFROMPT
Speaker 1: I think so many times starts now, Glenn Close, I
Speaker 1: don't think so Glenn Close, more like Glenn far. I
Speaker 1: fulled him up real good. I'm sorry, bitch, Candice Bergen, No,
Speaker 1: I do think so. Robert Mueller. I think it should
Speaker 1: be pronounced Mueller that show full House. You know how
Speaker 1: they did the reboot Fuller House. Do you know why
Speaker 1: it's called fuller House because their last name is Fuller
Speaker 1: in that that's true. I'm not even making it up.
Speaker 1: That's why they call it Fuller House. Duchess of Sussex
Speaker 1: Megan Marco. I think she was on the Let's Make
Speaker 1: a Deal Millionaire box, which I think is really cool.
Speaker 1: One more, one more Cinderella, the girl not the movie.
Speaker 1: She left her shoe at the club. Girl, she's that
Speaker 1: girl and she's like getting the prints, like she's getting
Speaker 1: rewarded for like getting wasted, and like that one rapid
Speaker 1: fire troubles never been done before. All right, Oh my god,
Speaker 1: that was unbelievable, breaking all the rules but making them
Speaker 1: really alright, So ladies, it is now time to announce
Speaker 1: the winner. Everyone please rise and hold hands like your
Speaker 1: best fucking friends were. Okay, everyone, okay, what who have
Speaker 1: we decided? Is the last? Culture says kind award winner
Speaker 1: here at cluster fs and thank you cluster Fes for
Speaker 1: having us the winner. Six finalists sound before us. Prior
Speaker 1: to this evening, you received an email explaining that the
Speaker 1: finalists round would be chosen from a bowl of blue
Speaker 1: pieces of paper. The time has come for a winner
Speaker 1: to be analysis. The winner tonight one thousand true. Our
Speaker 1: winner tonight is Rachel Peganait it up for Rachel First Playlist,
Speaker 1: Thank you so ch and We'll give it up for
Speaker 1: Drinks a month soon and Alasta thunder Fuck, thank you
Speaker 1: so much. My name is Matt Rogers, Test Fast, tell
Speaker 1: us World out for this Spice World coming up Forever.
Speaker 1: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 1: Brett Bahum, Joe Silio, and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 1: please visit Forever Dog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to
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