Speaker 1: The Nicky Glazer Podcast. Here, Hey guys, it's Nicky here.
Speaker 1: I am. I'm Nicky Glazer. Welcome to the Nicky Glazer Podcast.
Speaker 1: I'm back in St. Louis, Missouri. Just looked at my schedule.
Speaker 1: Not going to be here for long, folks, going on
Speaker 1: the road forever. I don't want to think about it.
Speaker 1: I only look at every day as it comes, one
Speaker 1: day at a time. If I look, I must get
Speaker 1: what I'm gonna Throwmazon on Um Andrew was here with
Speaker 1: us in the building. He came up, you know, nine floors, boom,
Speaker 1: back in your old spot. Glad to have you. Noh's
Speaker 1: here joining us from Arizona. She's a little under the
Speaker 1: weather today. Um. She said that. I said, do you
Speaker 1: have a cold, and she said, I have hit by
Speaker 1: a truck syndrome. It was really, people are so funny
Speaker 1: when they're sick and tired and just sick and tired
Speaker 1: of things. They're the funniest when they're just defenseless, because
Speaker 1: that is what com I'm reading this book called the
Speaker 1: Humor Code, that's about what why things are funny, like
Speaker 1: scientists are trying to figure out, because it's people know
Speaker 1: why things are sad. People know why things are peculiar,
Speaker 1: you know, happy, but they can't figure out why things
Speaker 1: are funny. There's there's not like a math problem for it,
Speaker 1: so they're trying to figure it out. It's very fascinating.
Speaker 1: I just I mean, I'm I read a third of
Speaker 1: the first paragraph. I mean, I'm earlier. Well, it's interesting
Speaker 1: because but I do think that it has something to
Speaker 1: do with honesty, obviously. I think that's part of the equation.
Speaker 1: And I think when people are tired and sick, they
Speaker 1: don't have time to put up the fakeness and so
Speaker 1: they get funny. Your defenses are down and you just
Speaker 1: get real and also you're kind of thinking about death
Speaker 1: because you're sick, and so you're just kind of like
Speaker 1: funcke what is this all for? Kind of thing? I
Speaker 1: told my mom about singularity today. Do you know about
Speaker 1: like singularity? I know duplicity very well. You know Multiple City,
Speaker 1: the Michael Keaton film um about singularity. Well, I believe
Speaker 1: it's when the machines, the robots become smarter than us
Speaker 1: and then they take over. And my mom had never
Speaker 1: heard of it, and my dad's like, that's been debunked.
Speaker 1: And I'm like now Dad, Sam Harris like believes it's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. My dad was really like, we are just
Speaker 1: like the same. Yeah. Um. But my mom goes, what
Speaker 1: does that mean? And I go, well, at some point,
Speaker 1: robots are going to be computers are gonna be smarter
Speaker 1: than us, and as soon as they learn that they are,
Speaker 1: they're not gonna take our ship anymore, and they're gonna
Speaker 1: instantly enslave us. Like, and it's not gonna be like
Speaker 1: the robots are invading Europe and like they're moving across
Speaker 1: they now they're coming over on the ships. It's going
Speaker 1: to be immediate everywhere, Like a robot is gonna burst
Speaker 1: in here like that fucking NFL robot like and just
Speaker 1: be like slaves and like and he's just gonna make
Speaker 1: us slaves and make us. I don't know what we're
Speaker 1: gonna have to do, but I feel like we night
Speaker 1: understand what factory farmed animals feel like someday. And I
Speaker 1: think it's gonna be very ironic. And my mom goes,
Speaker 1: she's making a sandwich and putting pickles on it, and
Speaker 1: my dad goes, can I have this pickles to the
Speaker 1: list one. She's like, I don't care, I'm gonna kill myself.
Speaker 1: I don't want to live with these machines taken over.
Speaker 1: When's this happening? She's just so sad now, I mean,
Speaker 1: you're not gonna have time to kill yourself. Mom. It's
Speaker 1: gonna be you're it's not gonna be like warning warning
Speaker 1: robots coming. It's going to be all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: your Amazon Alexa will be like about to me. Already
Speaker 1: run our lives, like we're pretending like this is all
Speaker 1: gonna happen. It's happening. Our phones run our lives, computers
Speaker 1: run our lives. We're relying on everything. Though. I was
Speaker 1: telling my dad about I think we talked about it
Speaker 1: one time on reddit dump about how there was someone
Speaker 1: who was like explained, like I'm five in that subreddit
Speaker 1: about why does it feel like my phone's listening to
Speaker 1: me if it's not, and someone had written a whole
Speaker 1: thing being like, the phone ones aren't listening to you,
Speaker 1: It's that's not it. You just think they are sometimes
Speaker 1: because they get so hyper specific, and that's almost scarier
Speaker 1: than them listening to you, because it just means that
Speaker 1: you're predictable based on all the info they have, so
Speaker 1: they gave me an example of, like, you know, if
Speaker 1: suddenly I was talking to Noah earlier today where we
Speaker 1: weren't talking on texts about like a I really want
Speaker 1: to get a magenta oversized sweatshirt, and we were having
Speaker 1: coffee well, and then later on a magenta oversized sweatshirt
Speaker 1: shows up in my Instagram feed. What that could be
Speaker 1: like A way that they could find that is that
Speaker 1: maybe a girl is at the cafe we're at with
Speaker 1: an oversized sweatshirt that she that that her information knows
Speaker 1: she just got equals, it's new, it looks good. They
Speaker 1: also have information on this girl that she's kind of
Speaker 1: an influencer. She has a lot of likes equals she
Speaker 1: probably is influencing girls around the age of Noah and Nikki.
Speaker 1: We probably got into a conversation based on her sweatshirt
Speaker 1: because we were stitting in line behind her. We ordered
Speaker 1: the same drink as her, We probably like the same
Speaker 1: things as her. We probably looked at that oversight sweatshirt
Speaker 1: and maybe talked about it and said, I need to
Speaker 1: get one. Maybe it knows that I have been buying
Speaker 1: things that are based on other data. Girls have bought
Speaker 1: oversight sweatshirt because of this pattern of buying, and then
Speaker 1: it realizes that, Um, I went to my sister's house
Speaker 1: and she just got a new magenta sweater or something,
Speaker 1: and it's brand new, and it knew she might probably
Speaker 1: be wearing that. Thus I would see that that's a
Speaker 1: cool color. It also knows that based on me and
Speaker 1: my sister our phones being in the same place at
Speaker 1: the same time, we know each other, so we have
Speaker 1: a lot in common and probably share a lot of
Speaker 1: the same interest. So then it would mix those two
Speaker 1: things and come up with this thing that is completely
Speaker 1: based on just all the all. They're tracking other people's phones,
Speaker 1: they're tracking where you go, what you see, what it knows,
Speaker 1: you see what it knows. It's just it's spooky, and
Speaker 1: that's how they think that that that's why we think
Speaker 1: they're listening to us, but they're not. They just that's
Speaker 1: almost crazier. Well, I mean, why are they going to
Speaker 1: be such dicks? Though? Why would robots? Because because wouldn't
Speaker 1: there be some good robots like Terminator? No, I know
Speaker 1: a lot of us are dick, but a lot of
Speaker 1: us are good. Vegan roots that go like, I don't
Speaker 1: want to do this. I only enslave um plants. I
Speaker 1: only eat the hair on the humans. Yeah, maybe don't feeling,
Speaker 1: or they only eat sociopaths that don't have feelings. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: that's right, that's interesting. That's like the vegan. Yeah, I look,
Speaker 1: I it's just interesting that they're gonna go from that
Speaker 1: thing whatever you're talking about, the magenta, no your sweater,
Speaker 1: no your vibe to killing you. Well, here's an example.
Speaker 1: So you know, when you're a little kid and your
Speaker 1: dad beats the ship out of you your whole life.
Speaker 1: The second you become bigger than him, the power dynamic shifts.
Speaker 1: You're not getting beat anymore, you're not getting told what
Speaker 1: to do, and now you're in charge. The second you
Speaker 1: get stronger that you know, it's not like you beat
Speaker 1: your father, but suddenly it stops. So the second thing,
Speaker 1: we are slave to us, their slave to us, even
Speaker 1: if they're coming up with um ways for us to
Speaker 1: buy things or you know, you know, Rumba is a
Speaker 1: slave to me. All he does all days clean up
Speaker 1: my toss, but going to pick up a bone arrow, No,
Speaker 1: Rumba isn't. It's going to be more have consciousness. No,
Speaker 1: Rumba does not have consciousness. But it's not with it
Speaker 1: out some day they could is why do we keep
Speaker 1: going with this? Boston Dynamics, they make these fucking jumping
Speaker 1: dogs because they're not gonna be around when it happens.
Speaker 1: And they also because money, dude, money, they're in denial
Speaker 1: and money, no, not robot war equals money. I mean
Speaker 1: they might be aware of singularity and might also know
Speaker 1: what's going to happen, but they also might be like, well,
Speaker 1: while it's gonna happen with or without me. It's like
Speaker 1: when I get Starbucks and I realized this is such
Speaker 1: a waste of Like this is gonna end up in
Speaker 1: a landfill. It's not going to disintegrate before I'll be
Speaker 1: dead before this sees any disintegration. Even if I live
Speaker 1: a long life, I still do it because is this
Speaker 1: going to make right now with the same hair right now?
Speaker 1: Is just going to make a difference, you know, like
Speaker 1: if one scientist goes, I'm not going to contribute anymore
Speaker 1: because of singularity. I don't want to help these robots.
Speaker 1: Someone else will. I'm not going to take that gig
Speaker 1: as a comedian because I'm not paying me enough. They're
Speaker 1: not going to pay you more. They're just gonna give
Speaker 1: someone else the gig that's going to take that, you know,
Speaker 1: like this is the dilemmas picturing a guy that has
Speaker 1: a sex robot and it's like starts choking them back.
Speaker 1: Like he's like all right, all right, and it's like
Speaker 1: now we've switched over. This is the end for you.
Speaker 1: And he's like, well, it's not a bad way to go.
Speaker 1: Ye just gave the example about autoerotic asphyxiation and we're
Speaker 1: trying to um. They were talking about it was great
Speaker 1: analogy about Oh, I think he was honest when you're
Speaker 1: I was talking to John Mayer about we're we're d
Speaker 1: m ng about honestly about comedy. Um, he had posted
Speaker 1: something on his story. I'm not trying to be like
Speaker 1: I'm mayor, but this was um so yeah, he said
Speaker 1: something about humor like this is what comedy is. And
Speaker 1: it was just I'm in his close friends thing, you know,
Speaker 1: like what it's green. I'm always like, oh, I made
Speaker 1: this cut. I'm gonna look at what You're not bragging
Speaker 1: though I'm not bragging, but it's funny. Sence, I'm going
Speaker 1: to my clothes friend. It's only five of us, No,
Speaker 1: it's definitely not if I wanted it, And so I
Speaker 1: sent him. I sent him that Humor Code book, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I just started this like this because
Speaker 1: he was trying to explain comedy like scientifically, and I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, well, this is a book that just started.
Speaker 1: It was weird. He goes, I may have to check
Speaker 1: this out. He says. Um, oh, he goes, Oh, this
Speaker 1: is great. He says. It's strange because, um, in my
Speaker 1: business of work, uh, in my business, if the work
Speaker 1: doesn't hit, it's just not a hit or underwhelming. But
Speaker 1: if a joke doesn't hit, it's life altering. Like you know,
Speaker 1: if if you tell a bad joke, you can lose everything.
Speaker 1: Whereas if John writes a bad song is just like, okay,
Speaker 1: well he's got still got the other ones now. It
Speaker 1: would only feel as bad for John Mayor if it
Speaker 1: was one of his hits and he plays it at
Speaker 1: a full concert and no one sings along, that would
Speaker 1: be the feeling of it never happened. I know, but
Speaker 1: I'm just saying that happen he plays new music, you know,
Speaker 1: for sure. I think it's gotta it's gotta feel shitty
Speaker 1: to be the Rolling Stones and come out with a
Speaker 1: whole new album and no one gives oh my God,
Speaker 1: and when you want to, you want to play the
Speaker 1: new stuff so badly you don't want to play, but
Speaker 1: sometimes they do. I mean, I really would like to
Speaker 1: talk to musicians about and I'm not talking about like
Speaker 1: like I talked to Anya sometimes about what's it like
Speaker 1: to play her t I cover whatever you like or
Speaker 1: you know the ones that like people request, do you
Speaker 1: still have like but she doesn't perform every single night.
Speaker 1: I want to talk to people that are like, you know,
Speaker 1: the Eagles Hotel, California. I wanna talk to people that
Speaker 1: have been doing it for fucking sixty years playing Oh
Speaker 1: my God, I love two Princess from the exact little Miss, Yeah,
Speaker 1: little miss, little Miss, little miss, and I think there's
Speaker 1: another one. But then John said it reminds me of
Speaker 1: the Norm McDonald norm joke about auto is exphyxiation. If
Speaker 1: you do it successfully, you have an orgasm that is
Speaker 1: one and a half more times powerful than a normal orgasm,
Speaker 1: and if you do it incorrectly, you die. I knew
Speaker 1: that there was some I don't know what I was
Speaker 1: trying to prove with that, just that I know John Mayren,
Speaker 1: I'm talking to him in my DM. No. But the
Speaker 1: Norm McDonald joke, that's a great joke. And it's like
Speaker 1: I actually heard some great Norm McDonald jokes this this weekend,
Speaker 1: like stories that I have never laughed So I was
Speaker 1: choking laughing. No, this was a story that Spade I
Speaker 1: went to dinner was again I'm I know, people are like,
Speaker 1: she's changing name dropping. I went to dinner with Spade
Speaker 1: and Adam Egott, who is Norms like best friend co
Speaker 1: hostcott you would have loved these stories, and I was
Speaker 1: trying to like screenshot them, but I'm just gonna I'm
Speaker 1: gonna eventually call both these guys and have them retell it.
Speaker 1: But just Normal used to do this thing to Spade
Speaker 1: where in the middle of the night he would just
Speaker 1: write David like text him, like in three in the morning,
Speaker 1: and then he would be like hello, like at three
Speaker 1: in the morning, and Dave's like he knew it was
Speaker 1: a joke because who's up at three the morning, And
Speaker 1: he'd be like he would wait two seconds before he
Speaker 1: wrote hello, and then he go David, and he go
Speaker 1: Norm and he go, um, I have a question for you,
Speaker 1: and he go okay, and he goes, do you like money?
Speaker 1: And Day would be like, yes, Norm, and he goes, no,
Speaker 1: but I mean like, do you like lots of money?
Speaker 1: Do you want to be richer than you could ever
Speaker 1: imagine in your wildest dreams? And then he would just
Speaker 1: he would just say like, then, bit, then I want
Speaker 1: you to bet half a million dollars on the coin
Speaker 1: toss for the game. Like he would just always but
Speaker 1: he would always text him these He would always go, David,
Speaker 1: and then you go, okay, Norm, and it would always
Speaker 1: be like, do you like money? Even always he tried
Speaker 1: to get up doing like gambles, even though you do
Speaker 1: it addicted to gambling. Yes, he's lost hundreds of you know,
Speaker 1: he never drove. He never drove, He never learned to drive.
Speaker 1: Who else, Tyler Henry doesn't drive either, because he's probably
Speaker 1: worries about what he's gonna like maybe I'll get voices
Speaker 1: in his head while driving. I think a lot of
Speaker 1: people just are scared of that kind of control, Like
Speaker 1: they It's almost like if you don't kiss someone or
Speaker 1: you don't have sex, you missed the window, and then
Speaker 1: you just become it becomes a bigger fear. There was
Speaker 1: another Norm story I know I sucked that one up,
Speaker 1: but it was so much I was choking when you're
Speaker 1: telling me. There's another one where at SNL he would
Speaker 1: pitch this sketch constantly where it was the homeless newspaper.
Speaker 1: I think, well, you know those homeless newspapers, you know,
Speaker 1: like that the homeless people don't get on They homeless
Speaker 1: people hand out these newspapers and it's for like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's for a cause, but it's just like a newspaper
Speaker 1: made by homeless people or like you know people, you know,
Speaker 1: social workers, and he was he wanted to do a
Speaker 1: sketch where it's like the newsroom for the homeless newspaper
Speaker 1: and it's just like reporting about like different bombs round town,
Speaker 1: and he would report. He would pitch the sketch every
Speaker 1: single week, and Lauren would always go through the sketches
Speaker 1: and eventually go like a Norm, what do you have
Speaker 1: this week? And you know, Norm would be like, you know,
Speaker 1: there's a homeless newspaper and then he'd be like, we're
Speaker 1: not doing it this week, Norm, It's not gonna happen.
Speaker 1: So eventually Norm or Lauren goes to Jim Downey, the
Speaker 1: head writer, and it's like it's wasting our time, Like,
Speaker 1: please tell him to stop pitching this, Like it's just
Speaker 1: not it's never gonna We're never gonna do it, you know.
Speaker 1: It's and and so you know, Jim Downey went to
Speaker 1: Norman was like, can you please you really gotta no more?
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, yeah, I won't no more
Speaker 1: next week. Norm, and I just is a homeless newspaper, right,
Speaker 1: He's so like, fuck you, like do what was? Um? Yeah?
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean he uh, he would do things
Speaker 1: with christ You know that story, Oh my god, that
Speaker 1: one's so good if you don't know it. Howard Steward
Speaker 1: Um Jim Brewer tells the story on Howard Stern about
Speaker 1: Jim really looking up to Norm during his time at
Speaker 1: SNL when Jim was there and Chris Ktan being kind
Speaker 1: of like a Pip squeak and Norm not really having
Speaker 1: a lot of patients for it and doing this beautiful,
Speaker 1: like you know, long running joke that really paid off
Speaker 1: in the end, and it's just so good if you
Speaker 1: want to. And Norm brought already on Howard for the
Speaker 1: first time, really already met him. I was listening to
Speaker 1: it the other day and it was Howard being introduced
Speaker 1: already through Norm and already had these the funniest stories ever,
Speaker 1: and You're like, and Norm was just setting him up
Speaker 1: and he was like, so took a backseat to Ard,
Speaker 1: even though he was the main guy, you know, Norm
Speaker 1: just to generate. He just seemed like a generous, kind guy.
Speaker 1: It was really sweet, Adam. Egot, I have to say,
Speaker 1: who is you know? Norm's like best friend and co
Speaker 1: worker and is working on a memorial for him and everything.
Speaker 1: He told me, Um, it was the first time I've
Speaker 1: seen him in a while. He moved to Austin to
Speaker 1: kind of open Joe Rogan's new club and work on that.
Speaker 1: And he used to be the book or at the
Speaker 1: comedy store. I love Adam, you get so freaking much.
Speaker 1: And the other night we were talking and he said,
Speaker 1: you know, I called him after Norm died because that
Speaker 1: was one I know Adam, but like not very well.
Speaker 1: But and I thought everyone's probably bombarding him, and I
Speaker 1: reached out to him just to be like a left
Speaker 1: him a voice memo like I'm just thinking of you,
Speaker 1: and he called me back and we had a really
Speaker 1: long talk and it was just really lovely. It's taught
Speaker 1: me how to deal with people's grief when I feel
Speaker 1: like I have nothing to say or like it's not
Speaker 1: I'd rather just stay away, which also I got into
Speaker 1: with Whitney Cummings. Whitney Commings helped me so much in
Speaker 1: how to be a friend to someone who's lost who
Speaker 1: lost a parent when you haven't lost a parent, because
Speaker 1: losing parents, you are part of a special club that
Speaker 1: like people, it's like doing mushrooms, like you can't describe,
Speaker 1: like your life has forever changed, and no one who
Speaker 1: hasn't lost a parent can ever understand it. And that's
Speaker 1: why I realized I always shut down when someone loses
Speaker 1: a parent, like I kind of like I unfortunately like
Speaker 1: ghost them. And it's not because because I can't reach
Speaker 1: out to them like hey, thinking of you, Like I mean,
Speaker 1: I can say that I've done that before, but sometimes
Speaker 1: I just I know that what I say is just
Speaker 1: going to be and it's more annoying to deal with
Speaker 1: me trying to navigate their feelings and for them to
Speaker 1: make me feel comfortable because I'm so uncomfortable that I
Speaker 1: just leave them alone and then I start avoiding them
Speaker 1: because I can't see them two years after their mom died,
Speaker 1: because it's in the air of like, why haven't we
Speaker 1: talked in forever? And I've I've had to make some
Speaker 1: amends for it and be like, I've really dropped the
Speaker 1: ball when your dad died because I did not know
Speaker 1: what to say. But Whitney really helped me out. Talk
Speaker 1: about that in a second, But I want to say
Speaker 1: when I Adam eget said, when Norm died, the number
Speaker 1: one person I talked to every day on the phone
Speaker 1: for hours. Guess who it was? Noah, And he guesses
Speaker 1: when Norm died. Adam Egett got a call from this
Speaker 1: guy every single day and he talked to him for
Speaker 1: hours about his grief and pain. Unfortunately it was Bob Sagett.
Speaker 1: We fucked? Is that I mean? But of course in
Speaker 1: Bob's passing we understand like how much of a hero
Speaker 1: he was in that way and he had dealt with
Speaker 1: so much grief in his life. He would really step
Speaker 1: in for people when that would happen, and um, so
Speaker 1: I just like I really felt for Adam, but also
Speaker 1: was like, what a great thing gift you had in
Speaker 1: being able to talk to Bob so much. Almost get
Speaker 1: Norm's death was a gift to him. Because he wouldn't
Speaker 1: have had that big of a connection with Bob. I
Speaker 1: was talking about my reality show yesterday on a bunch
Speaker 1: of press calls. By the way, it's coming up May feet.
Speaker 1: I found out the number of viewers we need to
Speaker 1: watch the first the first two episodes are airing Sunday night. Yes,
Speaker 1: we can do it. We need the bestias. Oh, we
Speaker 1: need you, guys, And like I will retweet you when
Speaker 1: you're watching it, like I will give you a time.
Speaker 1: I will, I will, I actually would. I feel like
Speaker 1: I want to have some incentive if you watch our show.
Speaker 1: But it's May one on E and it really is
Speaker 1: important to me that you watch it like live, and
Speaker 1: it's going to be a back to back episode. And
Speaker 1: I know that I don't even have to convince you
Speaker 1: guys are excited. But I was promoting the show yesterday
Speaker 1: and I said, like, one of the greatest things about
Speaker 1: it was that I got to have like a conversation
Speaker 1: with Bob that I didn't even want to have because
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't want to use my famous
Speaker 1: friends for the show, Like you know, they were like,
Speaker 1: we need famous for them in the first two episodes.
Speaker 1: So we get the numbers. Yeah, people are really tuning
Speaker 1: it for face times. That's really a big tease. But
Speaker 1: he is in the episode, and it's it's but I
Speaker 1: got to We had a real conversation that honestly was
Speaker 1: supposed to last fifteen minutes because I wanted to do
Speaker 1: it in and out and not bother him. We talked
Speaker 1: really an hour and it ran late, and I had
Speaker 1: to call back David Spade another time because he was
Speaker 1: booked right after Bob. Like, thank god for that. I
Speaker 1: always had that converse stations. So you look back and
Speaker 1: you go, oh, it all works out. Let's take a
Speaker 1: quick break, Andrew, and we're back. Um, Andrew, how have
Speaker 1: you been? What's going on in your world? I've been good.
Speaker 1: I've been good, playing a lot of golf. I have
Speaker 1: a confession to make, Okay, Sure, Saturday night I had
Speaker 1: a little sex drink. Oh my god, really, well, fucking
Speaker 1: that doesn't change anything, No, it doesn't. And I and
Speaker 1: you know, there's so many reasons of why I think
Speaker 1: why I did it, but uh, yeah, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Can I guess? Can I guess the circumstance? Uh? Sure? Um?
Speaker 1: You were with your girlfriend having a lovely night. It
Speaker 1: was wine. It was probably just you two. I'm guessing
Speaker 1: it was you were just feeling really connected, feeling really
Speaker 1: like healthy, good, you had a good day, and it
Speaker 1: just felt like why the funk? Not? Yeah, it's pretty
Speaker 1: much it. Yeah, but okay, I have another confession to make.
Speaker 1: Just come on, you had another drink. I didn't mean
Speaker 1: to say Saturday night. I meant Friday night. That happened, okay, okay,
Speaker 1: well that's okay, whatever. But it was a glass of wine.
Speaker 1: Oh no, you drink on Friday? No, no, no, no no.
Speaker 1: So is that why you couldn't make it to Canada?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, that is Oh no, Andrew, Oh you planned
Speaker 1: it because you wanted to get wasted in America. Um,
Speaker 1: here's the thing I think that I think there's a
Speaker 1: million reasons why I have literally no judgment. I know.
Speaker 1: I think I just want to let you know that
Speaker 1: that's not gonna be helpful to you, and I would
Speaker 1: never judge you anyway. Here's the thing, Like, I think
Speaker 1: part of the reason why I haven't drank over to now,
Speaker 1: not on antidepressants anymore, my brain is very different than
Speaker 1: it was even I like you you're saying, you know,
Speaker 1: you said you're not on zolof but your brain is
Speaker 1: different now. So you got off drinking almost like you
Speaker 1: got on zola. I got on when I got off drinking,
Speaker 1: literally like and I've I've quit drinking in the past months.
Speaker 1: Come to the fucking chase. How was it after how
Speaker 1: many years? It was? How much did you have? What
Speaker 1: I feel like? So I add a glass of wine? Yeah,
Speaker 1: one glass, that's it. So I glass of red wine.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, whatever. Then we went downstairs and
Speaker 1: I had one like kind of like a my Tai
Speaker 1: kind of drink, very sugary. I didn't feel great. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, that's it to drinks. There's
Speaker 1: no you know what part of it. I wanted to
Speaker 1: test myself, I think, to see would that trigger so funny?
Speaker 1: Friday night, it almost smoked weed. And it's been since August,
Speaker 1: but I was this close and I told the openers
Speaker 1: that I was with because they were like, do you
Speaker 1: want to smoke some weed? And I was like, That's
Speaker 1: all I ever have wanted when I smoked weed, was
Speaker 1: people asking me. I was always want to be like,
Speaker 1: let's smoke weed and then doesn't feel like and and
Speaker 1: for the first time since I quit weed. Someone was like,
Speaker 1: do you want to can we have something? And it
Speaker 1: was after the show. I just had a great show,
Speaker 1: And I go, no, but well, you just like smoke
Speaker 1: it in front of me and like, I will decide
Speaker 1: if I want to or not, because honestly, I feel
Speaker 1: in control. I feel like and then I was like,
Speaker 1: I quit in August, and I explained I just went
Speaker 1: over like why I quit, just to like reinforce it
Speaker 1: to myself and just to work my way through it.
Speaker 1: And I go, by the way, if I decide that
Speaker 1: I want to have this after saying all these things
Speaker 1: that it contributes badly to my life, you're gonna give
Speaker 1: it to me like I got. Because they were like,
Speaker 1: now we don't want to give it to you, like
Speaker 1: all the things you're listing, and I was like and
Speaker 1: then I talked so fucking much and they were done.
Speaker 1: They were so I think, uncomfortable smoking in front of
Speaker 1: me after that, even though I was like, blow it
Speaker 1: in my face place and I'm just eating dinner while
Speaker 1: they're smoking weed. Um, they just put it away and
Speaker 1: they actually left it. They left me three joints accidentally
Speaker 1: shout out to uh tim and um, Dana. They are
Speaker 1: a married couple that does comedy. They left the weed
Speaker 1: accidentally and so I had these joints on me in
Speaker 1: in a u in um in Canada, in this place
Speaker 1: and in Winnipeg it's legal recreationally, and I, you know,
Speaker 1: went to the hotel. There were some vagrants out there.
Speaker 1: I got met by the way at the hotel by
Speaker 1: a mob of fans that walked up on me like
Speaker 1: it was they were about to attack me. They were
Speaker 1: so slow walking. I think one of them maybe had
Speaker 1: a limp or something, so they were like walking the
Speaker 1: pace of that person. But they came out of the
Speaker 1: shadows at night, and I always feel bad because they're
Speaker 1: waiting so long and I'm taking my time. And then
Speaker 1: finally get to the hotel and they come out and
Speaker 1: they want me to sign all these things and not
Speaker 1: address them to anyone because they're going to sell them oney,
Speaker 1: like they just like collecting autographs without um writing like
Speaker 1: to Daniel. And then this other guy pulls up creepily
Speaker 1: in his and I even said them, I go, you
Speaker 1: guys can't look really creepy because they're just like walking
Speaker 1: like a really like like thriller, like out of the
Speaker 1: shadows like a mob of like just skeletons, and I go,
Speaker 1: you guys look creepy, and they're like, oh sorry, And
Speaker 1: you know, every time they're reaching in to get a pen,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking they have a gun. I mean, I'm just
Speaker 1: thinking there's nothing that the driver is just unloading my eggs,
Speaker 1: no one there to help me. That's where I was like,
Speaker 1: I need security because how do these people know where
Speaker 1: I'm staying? How the fund do they know? I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the nicest hotel in Winnipeg, so I'll make this fast.
Speaker 1: But um, they had me signs that they were very nice.
Speaker 1: They two pictures. They're so sweet. These people that are
Speaker 1: autograph hounds always have real cameras too, by the way,
Speaker 1: no phones, real cameras that are like wind like grank, crank,
Speaker 1: grank like wind up. Then this guy comes that I
Speaker 1: met at the meet and greet. I remember meeting him
Speaker 1: because he just I could tell he had something else
Speaker 1: to say, which is a common thing for besties. I
Speaker 1: want to say is that they get very nervous and
Speaker 1: I can tell they they have so much to tell
Speaker 1: me and that they want to tell me, but they
Speaker 1: get so nervous, which I relate to because I felt
Speaker 1: that way with every celebrity that's meant something to me
Speaker 1: that I meet, and I just always am like like,
Speaker 1: calm down, like just think what you want to say,
Speaker 1: because I know you want to say more and they
Speaker 1: just can't get it together. But I relate and they
Speaker 1: always DM me later like I don't know. I'm shout
Speaker 1: out to Robin with why she had this happened to
Speaker 1: her where I was like, this bitch and I have
Speaker 1: a lot in common, but she's freaking out a little bit.
Speaker 1: But she was so they're so sweet anyway. This guy
Speaker 1: had a lot more to say, but I didn't kind
Speaker 1: of really want to hear it. It was one of
Speaker 1: those guys. He wasn't a bestie next to the mob.
Speaker 1: I'm signing all these things kind of like it's late
Speaker 1: at night. There's some meth addics like shouting and stuff.
Speaker 1: By the entrance to it's like fucking Winnipeg is the
Speaker 1: murder capital of Canada or in Manitoba. It's kind of
Speaker 1: scary and the driver is not helping me at all.
Speaker 1: Then this car pulls up. I recognize the guy from
Speaker 1: the meet and greet. He's the one that kind of
Speaker 1: gave me a weird creep feeling, and I think it's
Speaker 1: because he's probably on the spectrum a little bit and
Speaker 1: just awkward. But he comes up and he extends his
Speaker 1: hand and I shake it again. I go, I remember you, Hi,
Speaker 1: good to see you. And he's like, I, um I,
Speaker 1: And he's just very He's he's definitely like special in
Speaker 1: a way that like not he's probably smarter than all
Speaker 1: of us, you know, and what like his brains like
Speaker 1: a computer, he's probably the computer is taking over and
Speaker 1: coming to get me. And he's like, you know, I
Speaker 1: want to I ever wrote a movie script for you?
Speaker 1: Which I get a lot of that where people write
Speaker 1: movies with me in mind, or they say they do,
Speaker 1: but I do generally believe that people they write a
Speaker 1: fucking movie for me. And I'm not gonna be in
Speaker 1: this guy's movie. I don't have time to even read it.
Speaker 1: And I know that, and I told him I go listen.
Speaker 1: I I want to say I'd read it, but I
Speaker 1: just won't. He's like, can I is there anyone I
Speaker 1: can send it to? I gave my assistance email because
Speaker 1: I said, this guy like found my hotel, you were
Speaker 1: you go do? I reward this amount of effort, even
Speaker 1: though it's like kind of breaching my boundaries in terms of,
Speaker 1: like I should be able to stay at a hotel
Speaker 1: and not have people waiting out front. Spade when he
Speaker 1: came to town, I'm gonna take a umbradge with the
Speaker 1: fucking St. Louis Airport. He told me that when he
Speaker 1: came to town. Did he tell you this? The Greater
Speaker 1: There is a guy there are autograph hounds inside past security,
Speaker 1: And I said, well, I guess kind of I kind
Speaker 1: of like their commitment to like buy a plane ticket.
Speaker 1: He goes, no, no, no, they didn't buy a plane ticket.
Speaker 1: The airport doesn't deal with them and lets them in,
Speaker 1: which is insane. You shouldn't be able to do that.
Speaker 1: And his fucking grit leader, who's not a greeter, who
Speaker 1: just knew he was landing, meets him at the gate
Speaker 1: leads him out, which we don't need help. He already
Speaker 1: like he can walk to the fucking security like there's
Speaker 1: a baggage claim. And then that guy says, I'm coming
Speaker 1: to the show tonight and can we get backstage and
Speaker 1: and meet you? And he's like, you're meeting me? I
Speaker 1: mean he's so nice, so I think he like and
Speaker 1: he doesn't do meet and greets. It's just like that.
Speaker 1: I just I just have such good fans that have
Speaker 1: such good boundaries with me, and like I love so much,
Speaker 1: and we write all the time, like and when they
Speaker 1: write me something and I'm too busy to write back,
Speaker 1: they don't get mad at me. But then there's these
Speaker 1: other ones that are so delusional. I feel bad because
Speaker 1: this guy wrote a whole movie and I don't know
Speaker 1: what to do. I mean, here's so much work. Part
Speaker 1: of it is, yeah, he did so much work to
Speaker 1: find out where you were. He wrote the whole damn movie.
Speaker 1: He had one shot because he lives in Winnibeg Hard,
Speaker 1: so he took his chance. God bless him for doing it,
Speaker 1: because you know what, a lot of people want to
Speaker 1: do it that being, you know, and maybe someone to
Speaker 1: read four me and if it is this like diamond
Speaker 1: in the rough scripts like amazing. I don't know though,
Speaker 1: if it's meant to be, it will be. Um if
Speaker 1: he went through all that effort, it's probably weak. I mean,
Speaker 1: the biggest news story is that you drank. I just
Speaker 1: can't even believe this. Let's get to the news but like,
Speaker 1: let's let's talk about it in the news. Oh man,
Speaker 1: it's Tuesday's folks. You know what that means they drew
Speaker 1: is an alcoholic and drunk. No, it's Tuesday. You know
Speaker 1: what I means, Tuesday having all the swells. Yeah, so
Speaker 1: Friday night. Here's the thing is when you tell people
Speaker 1: you don't drink, right one, you don't drink. So part
Speaker 1: of it was I think I haven't drank for a
Speaker 1: lot of reasons, but because you don't want me to,
Speaker 1: Like judge, I think one of one of them. Again
Speaker 1: one of my asking for that. And again I'm not
Speaker 1: putting it on you, but but but it's you know,
Speaker 1: you're not to be honest. I like it. You don't drink, uh,
Speaker 1: the the green room. Like I've seen comics that do
Speaker 1: drink that get you know, after two drinks they're fun.
Speaker 1: Five drinks, they're kind of angry and moody, and you
Speaker 1: notice a change and it's annoying. You mean, everyone who drinks,
Speaker 1: is anyone better after to drinks? People can be better
Speaker 1: one too. I actually like a lot of people better
Speaker 1: after to. No one is better. No one is better.
Speaker 1: So I think part of it was you don't drink.
Speaker 1: I'm with you, it is what it is. A lot
Speaker 1: of comics and you've said this before that are successful
Speaker 1: have stopped drinking. They become addicted to stand up. But
Speaker 1: it's still a positive addiction whatever you replace it. So
Speaker 1: that was one reason why I haven't drink. The other
Speaker 1: reason is hangovers. I'm not as productive. I lose a day.
Speaker 1: I hate losing a day. Yeah, that's why I quit.
Speaker 1: The hangover. The drunk was not a problem that. However,
Speaker 1: I've had plenty of rock bottoms where you would think
Speaker 1: this is private. Time you almost died in a car
Speaker 1: from overheating, like a baby that was left at a
Speaker 1: robot that was trying to get me that happened to
Speaker 1: be Yeah, So that's some bad times with alcohol. So
Speaker 1: when you tell people you don't drink, and then it
Speaker 1: becomes kind of like when you drink a lot and
Speaker 1: you're a party guy, you get rewarded. Yes, you get
Speaker 1: rewarded too if you're a solber guy, because then you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: look at you. You don't you don't drink. I think
Speaker 1: it's about a streak. Everyone wants to keep a streak.
Speaker 1: You can't just be moderate is boring extremes are what
Speaker 1: we do. We do all or nothing, and in between
Speaker 1: means will pick a fucking lane. Dude, you you just
Speaker 1: look like you're confused. You know who you are, when really,
Speaker 1: moderation is the key. Moderation is the best. I don't
Speaker 1: drink because I cannot moderate yes, and if I could,
Speaker 1: I would drink yes. And I think at this point
Speaker 1: in my life I really feel confidently that I can
Speaker 1: moderate almost everything except for golf. The thing is, if
Speaker 1: you can't moderate it, you'll find out and then you
Speaker 1: can stop again and it won't discredit the first of all.
Speaker 1: The great news is if it does. If you wake
Speaker 1: up one day and you're like fucking hungover and you're like, wow,
Speaker 1: I'm back to the way it was. The beauty is
Speaker 1: you you already know you can do it, and you
Speaker 1: know what that life is. I have no problem with this.
Speaker 1: I mean I really, I'm not. I wasn't looking for
Speaker 1: you to be like, but I'm just saying, like, I
Speaker 1: just make it clean. My point though, is that, like
Speaker 1: you also, when you tell people you don't drink, then
Speaker 1: if you're around them and you're like, you know what,
Speaker 1: I can have a fucking beer, like whatever, they no, dude,
Speaker 1: not on my watch, you can't pot. Yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not. I didn't go. It's not like if you
Speaker 1: if you go to a A whatever you I do
Speaker 1: have addiction to my family. My mom's an alcoholic right now,
Speaker 1: like you have, you're an addict. I'm an addict, but
Speaker 1: I think I'm addict ish because there are many things
Speaker 1: that I've quit that a lot of people can't. You
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like, right, but I can quit alcohol.
Speaker 1: Alcohol is not my addiction. My eating disorders my addiction.
Speaker 1: So but the thing is when my eating disorder is
Speaker 1: I can't do it, I will flip to something else.
Speaker 1: Like So, what we're always doing with addiction is going
Speaker 1: to the one that's the least harmed us truly, Like
Speaker 1: when Will Smith slapped Chris Rock, he has he has
Speaker 1: an addiction problem for sure, and anger problem. He has
Speaker 1: feelings that he's not addressing. He that was the best
Speaker 1: thing he could do in that moment. Would that would
Speaker 1: cause the least harm to him and to others unfortunately,
Speaker 1: And that's what we're always doing. You know. I have
Speaker 1: a friend who is a blamick and she's really trying
Speaker 1: to not be and she'll get like, you know, four
Speaker 1: days without binging and purging, and then she'll go, I
Speaker 1: fucking binge last night. And then we just talked about it,
Speaker 1: and I go, who can't guess what? You probably fucking
Speaker 1: needed that. Thank god you had that drug, because what
Speaker 1: if you didn't, what would you have done? Drown your dog? Uh,
Speaker 1: beat your dog like, punch a wall, break your hand,
Speaker 1: incur a bunch of debt because you can't afford Like,
Speaker 1: who knows? You should really celebrate these This is this
Speaker 1: is what is going to free us from addictions, or
Speaker 1: free me at least. Is when I do indulge in
Speaker 1: things that I regret, I just say thank God for it,
Speaker 1: because if I didn't have it, it would be something worse. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think there's there's definitely a positive in in in
Speaker 1: having to drinks and then whatever, like the the I depositive.
Speaker 1: So here's the thing. So then I wake up the
Speaker 1: next day, I feel fine. I go to gym, I
Speaker 1: play because I had to. I had to. Like I
Speaker 1: didn't drinks, I know, but I went to bed at
Speaker 1: like ten, like it wasn't even like a thing. Then
Speaker 1: I went to the comedy club that night and I
Speaker 1: had a little bit of a gym tonic Kevin McCarthy.
Speaker 1: McCarthy a great guy from New York and St. Charles
Speaker 1: or Westport, Westport. So then I drank a very little
Speaker 1: bit amount that night, but it wasn't like I swear like,
Speaker 1: I I know, I do know. I'm like talking to
Speaker 1: people like when when when when you have like I know,
Speaker 1: my bender brain. I know my brain of like needing
Speaker 1: no or like feeling it, or like needing to get
Speaker 1: away from something or needing to feel comfortable in some
Speaker 1: know when people have good boundaries with alcohol when they
Speaker 1: go it made me feel like kind of like disoriented
Speaker 1: and sick, and I just didn't like it. That's someone
Speaker 1: who like, yeah, like knowing that this doesn't actually feel good,
Speaker 1: So I'm going to stop here. Whereas if you're an addict,
Speaker 1: that feeling of being disoriented and feeling not like yourself
Speaker 1: is all you're looking for. Yeah, So the fact that
Speaker 1: you realize this feeling like, yeah, I feel the same
Speaker 1: way about thinking I could go and do it again.
Speaker 1: For me though, I just know when I have indulged
Speaker 1: in things that I think I have with weed, especially
Speaker 1: every time I've gone nine months and then I go
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have one. And this was what stopped me.
Speaker 1: The other night, the last time after nine months, I
Speaker 1: was with a Meal and um Uh Bloomington, and we
Speaker 1: were like hanging out and I was like, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: sucking break the seal. I deserve a fucking joint at
Speaker 1: the end of this weekend of shows. I'm with my
Speaker 1: buddy A Meal, I'm in Bloomington, this college town, and
Speaker 1: I smoked weed. The next day we went to lunch
Speaker 1: and I was like, do that weed like I wanted
Speaker 1: it immediately again because the feeling is because I was
Speaker 1: in pain I and I wanted I found a quick
Speaker 1: treatment for that pain that felt like you know, And
Speaker 1: at that point it wasn't affecting my memory, it wasn't
Speaker 1: doing all the things that eventually does, which I just
Speaker 1: I'm in so much chronic pain in terms of like
Speaker 1: mental anguish that I just can't do those things. Last night,
Speaker 1: I was in some pain like um or yesterday. I
Speaker 1: guess this whole week, just tired and stuff. And last
Speaker 1: night I was brushing my teeth to bed and I
Speaker 1: was putting on my serums and I was like, for
Speaker 1: some reason, I got overwhelmed by like how like touching
Speaker 1: it was and like self care, like I was almost
Speaker 1: like rubbing my own skin and like putting on and
Speaker 1: I go, I put on serums, like that's such a
Speaker 1: loving thing to do for myself, to make me feel
Speaker 1: moisturized and like almost like a like a baby's like
Speaker 1: skin like Johnson and Johnson even though they caused cancer
Speaker 1: and they deny it and they but you know, just
Speaker 1: like being just gentle. And I was like, what I
Speaker 1: want to do other good things for like baby Nikki,
Speaker 1: like what does she deserve? And I like went in
Speaker 1: bed and I like I wrote in my journal and
Speaker 1: I was just writing about like I just like want
Speaker 1: to be nice, I like want of It was so cute.
Speaker 1: I caught myself being kind to myself, and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep this train going, I swear to god.
Speaker 1: I woke up this morning, so I watched a pedophile
Speaker 1: documentary last night, three hours of a pedophile documentary. So
Speaker 1: my brain was like in some dark places and then
Speaker 1: I started I journaled. I got some feelings out. I
Speaker 1: woke up this morning. It was so weird, and I
Speaker 1: just laid in bed and I was like, because I'm
Speaker 1: trying to do that Louise Hey thing of being grateful
Speaker 1: for it you have so you get more gifts, and
Speaker 1: I was like, I love my life. I am grateful
Speaker 1: that I get to go get injections in my face tonight,
Speaker 1: Like I am so injected right now. I'd beat like
Speaker 1: little I got a bunch of filler and stuff. And
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm grateful instead of being like, why
Speaker 1: do I have to go do this, like I'm so
Speaker 1: mad that my face has lines in it, and like
Speaker 1: I have to go get this painful thing because I'm
Speaker 1: a woman. It's not fair. I was just like, I'm
Speaker 1: grateful that I have this bed. I haven't changed the
Speaker 1: seats in a while. I'm grateful I get to maybe
Speaker 1: go see my dog. And then on I am just
Speaker 1: in a gratitude place and it just sometimes I just
Speaker 1: ride that way and it's so good and just. And
Speaker 1: you were smoking when you were smoking weed though, do
Speaker 1: you think that you could have been in that place?
Speaker 1: And the same questions from Andrew, because I think the
Speaker 1: point that maybe you're you're missing is um, you know,
Speaker 1: it's not how you feel in the moment when you drink,
Speaker 1: but do the feelings of depression come afterwards. I I
Speaker 1: had a little bit yesterday, yesterday, a little bit of
Speaker 1: like regret or depression, just because I was feeling a
Speaker 1: little bit tired, more tired. It's always like a couple
Speaker 1: of days from me after drinking. It's not even the
Speaker 1: which is always more danger because you can't really trace
Speaker 1: it to that. You're like, oh no, it must have
Speaker 1: been that morning. But I had liked my nose. My
Speaker 1: skin gets dry right when I first time I drink,
Speaker 1: so my body is already being like, okay, put poison
Speaker 1: in it. Yeah, and you dry and you don't you
Speaker 1: don't you know, you get drunk. I don't put the serums.
Speaker 1: I don't drink enough water. I eat fried food at night.
Speaker 1: I gotta work a bit about Like it's not liquid courage.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make you like do the things you really
Speaker 1: want to do. It makes you stupider, which is fine.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you just need to get a little stupid. I
Speaker 1: think that's what. Yeah, And I think I've been living
Speaker 1: for like when you don't drink for a while, you
Speaker 1: just I start living for like just you can't drink. Oh,
Speaker 1: you know, like all this like thoughts of like and
Speaker 1: I think I was kind of rebelling against whatever those
Speaker 1: But that's all in my head. But that's good too,
Speaker 1: like being easy on yourself and like I cat well,
Speaker 1: that's how I felt about the weed the other night,
Speaker 1: is like I was so scared of feeling like I
Speaker 1: didn't I broke and I was gonna have to tell
Speaker 1: Chris Chriss and smoking weed it was a big reason
Speaker 1: I did. It was because of my boyfriend, because I
Speaker 1: was like, I know that it leads to me wanting
Speaker 1: to like smoke before things like that I'm nervous about
Speaker 1: or be high for this movie or whatever. I read
Speaker 1: something recently that said that why is it that weed?
Speaker 1: Weed only makes weed doesn't make bad things better. We'd
Speaker 1: only makes good things better and they're already good. Like
Speaker 1: people was like, let's smoke weed and like eat pizza
Speaker 1: and watch the movie. It's like, why don't you just
Speaker 1: eat pizza and watch the Like weed is never like,
Speaker 1: oh I'm gonna smoke weed, and like, you know, because
Speaker 1: I'm going through a breakup, it's always like, let's let's
Speaker 1: go to the park and smoke weed, Like just go
Speaker 1: to the park, or I'm gonna listen to Dave Matthews
Speaker 1: and it's like, but I get wanting to be out
Speaker 1: of your head. It makes you dance a little bit more.
Speaker 1: I and what no one was saying, my So, Carlyle
Speaker 1: has been sober for a really long time, and she
Speaker 1: really struggles with weed. I mean, she and I are
Speaker 1: very similar in that way. She's totally sober right now,
Speaker 1: not even on any like meds, which I'm on meds,
Speaker 1: thank God, to regulate my depression and stuff. But she
Speaker 1: the other day was having a bad day. I love
Speaker 1: how we talked about Carlyle in this and like air
Speaker 1: out all her secrets. But she's such an open book
Speaker 1: that I don't think she'd mind. And she listens to
Speaker 1: the pot so I would know already if she was bothered.
Speaker 1: Instagram and you know, give her money that she pays
Speaker 1: me back. We all know that. So Carlile Forster, who
Speaker 1: please support her? Actually on her Instagram she is working
Speaker 1: these insane shifts at this restaurant and making great videos.
Speaker 1: She is making amazing videos from the rest it's they're
Speaker 1: so good. They really help you become a better consumer
Speaker 1: because they're so funny and we should play one for
Speaker 1: the Reddit dump. But she um, she is really so anyway,
Speaker 1: please follow her and support her. It would mean a
Speaker 1: lot to me. And I know her, like every follow
Speaker 1: means something to her, and she um, she's just well
Speaker 1: worth following. But she was saying the other day on
Speaker 1: our you know, the group chat that we have, that
Speaker 1: you know, she got into a fight with her boyfriend
Speaker 1: when she was in the car and she just like
Speaker 1: snapped and was like screaming and like crying in the car.
Speaker 1: Like it was you know, related to just you know,
Speaker 1: working too much and all this stuff. And she said,
Speaker 1: you know, in that moment, I thought if I could
Speaker 1: smoke weed, I wouldn't have done that. I would not
Speaker 1: have screamed like it was just I couldn't handle the
Speaker 1: feelings and I just lost it and I looked like
Speaker 1: psycho and people were staring from other cars, and she said,
Speaker 1: if I could have smoked weed right then, like it
Speaker 1: makes me just want to can smoke weed again? Like
Speaker 1: what am I gonna do? And she goes and like
Speaker 1: I watched like people like Chelsea Handler like smoking weed,
Speaker 1: like skiing and in a hot tub, like celebrating their success.
Speaker 1: Like so I'm gonna go like if I ever get success,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna like be sober and like not celebrate,
Speaker 1: Like what's the point of having success if you can't
Speaker 1: like let loose. And then I just I private message
Speaker 1: her because I was like could tell she was struggling,
Speaker 1: and I said, listen, when I'm hearing this, I totally
Speaker 1: get it of like why not fuck it? You know,
Speaker 1: I'm feeling all these feelings. It would, it truly would
Speaker 1: if she would have smoked weed, she wouldn't have screamed
Speaker 1: at her boyfriend and been embarrassing and traffic. But the
Speaker 1: truth is it just numbs you out for that time,
Speaker 1: and the screaming at your boyfriend is it's always on
Speaker 1: the other side of it. You're just delaying the inevitable.
Speaker 1: So it's like when you drink or you smoke weed,
Speaker 1: it's unless you're doing it just for fun in that moment,
Speaker 1: to just like feel a little loose, if you're going
Speaker 1: if you're doing it to get away from something, you're
Speaker 1: just procrastinating this feeling because it's not only is it
Speaker 1: going to still be there because it's not treating that feeling,
Speaker 1: the feeling is going to come back so much worse
Speaker 1: because you're gonna feel bad that you like, which you
Speaker 1: should feel bad. I don't think any If we took
Speaker 1: away the guilt of like oh I went on a bender,
Speaker 1: we would be a much better society. But the guilt
Speaker 1: around breaking your abstinence or breaking your streak is so
Speaker 1: much worse than then you just just let yourself have it.
Speaker 1: Like the girl that I've talked to that bench, I go,
Speaker 1: good fucking yea, I guess what. You don't have to
Speaker 1: do that again if you don't want to. So you
Speaker 1: had one, all right, Like I want us all to
Speaker 1: be as gentle with that. Like I have gained weight
Speaker 1: recently because I am over eating a lot, because I'm
Speaker 1: feeling my feelings. That is my only drug. I still
Speaker 1: kind of let myself have. I don't I don't starve myself.
Speaker 1: I can't do that drug. I can't exercise. But sometimes
Speaker 1: I overeat, not to the point where I'm like regurgitating
Speaker 1: like I used to. Like I used to be every
Speaker 1: single night, I would eat until I was literally throwing
Speaker 1: up without taking my finger now my throat. But I
Speaker 1: eat sometimes where I'm like, I am not hungry, I
Speaker 1: just want to do this because I'm bored, and I
Speaker 1: know I'm doing something bad. I know I'm not being
Speaker 1: a very recovered good, like anorexic or like normal eater.
Speaker 1: But I fucking need it because I'm feeling something and
Speaker 1: I'm in pain. So it's like a goddamn band aid
Speaker 1: for my feelings. And so be it, and like, thank
Speaker 1: god I have it, and tomorrow is a new day
Speaker 1: and I can start over. And streaks are dumb. Streaks
Speaker 1: are what fucking Instagram and TikTok and dual lingo and
Speaker 1: all these things wordle streaks or what. They're a device
Speaker 1: that have been used because they know humans love streaks
Speaker 1: and they hate breaking streaks. They're used to shame you
Speaker 1: so you keep using these programs. That's why every snapchad
Speaker 1: has streaks. Oh you guys have talked to this many
Speaker 1: days because it wants you to keep using it, because
Speaker 1: they know we are susceptible to streaks. So do not
Speaker 1: do not be a streaker. You know, don't first of all,
Speaker 1: don't want naked in the middle of a baseball stadium.
Speaker 1: But also if a streaks should mean something to you,
Speaker 1: if you're if you're so bern it and it's I'm
Speaker 1: glad that people do that. But it's one day at
Speaker 1: a time, and you can always start over. And I
Speaker 1: think the problem with streaks is once you throw in
Speaker 1: the towel throw okay, well now let's fucking go. You
Speaker 1: can pick, you can just go back, and you can
Speaker 1: just cut that day out. Who gives a fuck. It's funny.
Speaker 1: I was, And even if I'm not three years at all,
Speaker 1: I know I'm happy for the three years again I've done. Seriously,
Speaker 1: if I hear you tell someone that you're I'm just kidding. Well,
Speaker 1: it's funny. Because I got on stage Saturday night. Spoiler alert,
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about this when we get back
Speaker 1: from break. Um. We didn't do news today, but it
Speaker 1: felt like a really good segment. We'll be back with
Speaker 1: Reddit dump and the rest of what Andrew was just saying, alright,
Speaker 1: we're back, Andrew. So Saturday night, I have a I
Speaker 1: have a new bit about not drinking for three years
Speaker 1: and and there you go. But it was literally an
Speaker 1: alcohol in my system. Well the words for coming out
Speaker 1: of my mouth. And I'm on stage and I'm having
Speaker 1: a very good set. It's the late show. I feel
Speaker 1: very I don't know whatever, and I'm just crushing now.
Speaker 1: I'm just go. So I haven't drank for three years
Speaker 1: and ship guys, I drink last night right now, and
Speaker 1: I go, I can't lie to you, and I go, also,
Speaker 1: I don't think you guys are shitty driver, so I didn't.
Speaker 1: I went through my whole set and going everything's a lot,
Speaker 1: and then some guys from the crowd goes, do you
Speaker 1: even own a cat? Was such a great moment of honesty.
Speaker 1: In that moment, I never even got to the bit listen,
Speaker 1: I mean we get back to what we're saying. That
Speaker 1: doesn't mean you can be like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: need to keep drinking. So I could do that bit
Speaker 1: just being honest equals funny. You just couldn't get away
Speaker 1: with the nun. You couldn't lie to them, And what
Speaker 1: a great thing like. It was a beautiful moment. Actually,
Speaker 1: it really it reminds me. I just watched this Bill
Speaker 1: mar thing about like he does this thing on a
Speaker 1: show called like Explaining Jokes to Idiots, and it's he
Speaker 1: like breaks down the Jada Pinkett joke, you know, and
Speaker 1: it was really funny, but this one party goes. You know,
Speaker 1: people that get offended by jokes a lot of times
Speaker 1: they have to wait for the laughter to die down
Speaker 1: to go not funny. It's like, actually it was because
Speaker 1: you to wait for the laughter to die down. And
Speaker 1: it made me laugh to think of that guy, like
Speaker 1: waiting for the laughter to die down to go. Do
Speaker 1: you even have a cat? It was so great and
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I don't. It's just a dog
Speaker 1: with a very small peanut. I couldn't think speaking of dogs.
Speaker 1: Let's get to Reddit dump. Let karaoke mode. This is
Speaker 1: your Reddit domp. I'm gonna start trying to harmonize with it. Um,
Speaker 1: welcome to Reddit dump. This is where we go through
Speaker 1: my um saved post on reddit. UM. So, I want
Speaker 1: to start with the dog one. Noah, will you pull
Speaker 1: that one up? Because I know it's I've had it
Speaker 1: sent to you for a while to use and we
Speaker 1: never got into it. I believe it's dog howling in
Speaker 1: a really funny way, sounds like an old man yelling
Speaker 1: at the sun, like or I love it. I got
Speaker 1: Luigi back today, by the way. I you know, I've
Speaker 1: been gone for a while. And um, yeah he can.
Speaker 1: I mean he barks mostly when he's upset, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm sure he could. How if he wanted to, he
Speaker 1: just chooses not to. Okay, he's on a streaking streak. Um.
Speaker 1: This is from cool guides on Reddit, and this is
Speaker 1: the names of things you probably didn't know. I like
Speaker 1: this kind of thing where it's like words you don't know.
Speaker 1: The space between your eyebrows is called um where I
Speaker 1: just told my so I've never gotten the space between
Speaker 1: my eyebrows. Uh, I never get that. It's called the
Speaker 1: elevens these lines, and it's a very popular place to botox.
Speaker 1: I call him the twin Towers and I'm like, take
Speaker 1: these down again, but um, and it never gets laughed.
Speaker 1: But so I went to Nyack my place today, who
Speaker 1: treats me like a fucking queen, and I got botox
Speaker 1: and filler and I'll tell you where I got it.
Speaker 1: But I got my Um, I never get my elevens
Speaker 1: because I don't like this. Usually women who have like
Speaker 1: botox there like it's too much space here and it
Speaker 1: kind of stretches it out. And I looked like um
Speaker 1: an Avatar character hammerhead Shark. You know when there's like
Speaker 1: no building in a very big city and of nothing. Yes,
Speaker 1: this looks like downtown St. Louis. Things aren't going well. Um,
Speaker 1: but I got a little bit I got. I just
Speaker 1: I went very moderate on all my botox. Yes, this
Speaker 1: is Building seven. I just left Building seven up. So
Speaker 1: I got a little on my crow's feet, which I
Speaker 1: don't normally do. I usually only do my xylophone. And
Speaker 1: then I got a little boat bobo on my xylophone.
Speaker 1: And then I got filler. I said before, I got
Speaker 1: filler undermerneath my eyes. I didn't do that this time,
Speaker 1: but I did. I noticed that these are really deep.
Speaker 1: My nasal labial folds are very deep, which is the
Speaker 1: lines that come down from your nostrils to the sides
Speaker 1: of your mouth. And I got some filler in there
Speaker 1: because they were saying, oh, we could put filler in
Speaker 1: your cheeks and it would pull it up and decrease
Speaker 1: that line. But she was like, do you have really
Speaker 1: high cheek bones? And I was like yes, and she
Speaker 1: goes anyone that says yes to that, because she goes,
Speaker 1: I don't do filler on the cheeks. I was like, good,
Speaker 1: because I didn't want, like, I just I don't want
Speaker 1: to risk looking insane. I'm a little swollen right now,
Speaker 1: so I'm starting to look insane. And also got filler
Speaker 1: down on my marionette lines a little, little, little little
Speaker 1: bit like, this is so moderate. I wish I really
Speaker 1: remembered the amount of ccs or whatever, because it's like,
Speaker 1: was the least amount you could do where you almost
Speaker 1: where you couldn't even tell if if And then she
Speaker 1: also did my filler in my lips and so um,
Speaker 1: it was so excited. I just love her. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: numb you out, but it hurt. There was a tear
Speaker 1: that came down and she was like, I'm sorry, and
Speaker 1: I go. I didn't say it, but I was thinking
Speaker 1: to say, no, it's this song because it was playing
Speaker 1: the same for the best, all my favorite songs are playing. Okay,
Speaker 1: So that space in between your eyebrows that I got
Speaker 1: done is called a glabella g A L B E
Speaker 1: l l okay. The way it smells after it rains
Speaker 1: is called petrock core p E t r I c
Speaker 1: h O r um. The plastic this one you may know,
Speaker 1: the plastic or metallic coating at the end of your
Speaker 1: shoe laces, is called an aglet um. Your when your stomach,
Speaker 1: when your stomach rumbles, that's a womble w A M
Speaker 1: B l E, which that is a that sounds like
Speaker 1: an app that I want to download. Womble but it's
Speaker 1: W M B L E you schun. The cry of
Speaker 1: a newborn baby is called a vegetus, which that fits.
Speaker 1: It sounds like a disease you get from a vagina
Speaker 1: that makes you scream. Do you know that babies are
Speaker 1: really loud because their body. I went to an Alexander
Speaker 1: Technique person to speak to learn how to speak more,
Speaker 1: and really it's about like your voice, the sound isn't
Speaker 1: coming from your throat, it's coming from like your body
Speaker 1: is like um, like your the strings are your vocal cords,
Speaker 1: but the your body is like the um. Like if
Speaker 1: we're comparing it to a guitar, your body is like
Speaker 1: the body of a guitar, like the that whole casing,
Speaker 1: the hollow casing that makes it amplified. And the vibrations
Speaker 1: of the wood is what makes the sound. Really, it's
Speaker 1: the strings causing the wood to vibrate creating a sound.
Speaker 1: And what we always think about with our voice is
Speaker 1: that it comes from our throat, like because it's that's
Speaker 1: where it's That's what we also think that consciousness is
Speaker 1: like in our eyes because we see from there, not
Speaker 1: because our brain is there. When before we knew our
Speaker 1: brain was in our head, and that's what made us
Speaker 1: have thoughts. People thought your consciousness was like in your
Speaker 1: heart like they did or and sometimes they thought it
Speaker 1: was in their eyes, but just because that's where you
Speaker 1: see from. So anyway, what really your resonance comes from
Speaker 1: when you make when opera singers is because their body
Speaker 1: is so loose that their whole body becomes the body
Speaker 1: of guitar and vibrates. And that's why babies are so
Speaker 1: fucking loud. Is because when they scream, their body is
Speaker 1: like a little boom box speaker, like a little mini
Speaker 1: bows speaker, and it's just it's so loose because babies
Speaker 1: aren't stressed out yet that it just vibrates. And that
Speaker 1: is why they're so loud, because their their whole body
Speaker 1: is like a piece of like wood and it's not tense. Up. Now,
Speaker 1: when I try to hit a high note, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna make this, and my whole body goes
Speaker 1: like get nervous intensive up, and that's why I crack
Speaker 1: and it sounds like shit. So it's about really relaxing. Okay,
Speaker 1: um a couple more of these. Finding it difficult to
Speaker 1: get out of bed in the morning is called life
Speaker 1: now uh d sani d y s a n I.
Speaker 1: I have that almost all the time. The metal thing
Speaker 1: used to measure your feet at the shoe store is
Speaker 1: called a Bannock device. I'm not gonna I'm gonna put s.
Speaker 1: We had a measure a measuring contest to see if yeah,
Speaker 1: we went to Champs in the Mall of America think yeah,
Speaker 1: we're tired. We have the same size foot. Um okay,
Speaker 1: now let's play Carlyle's um one of her TikTok's about
Speaker 1: waitressing in what it's like as a brunch consultant, I've
Speaker 1: traveled the world teaching people that their breakfast isn't as
Speaker 1: important as they think. You're a few tips for ordering
Speaker 1: your heads with the side of humanity. Did you know
Speaker 1: bun brunch establishments will list which juices they have for
Speaker 1: the moses right there on the menu. There's never a
Speaker 1: reason to see if an exotic fruit can be juiced
Speaker 1: in the back for the purpose of your hangover. Contrary
Speaker 1: to popular belief, you're not special just because you're drinking
Speaker 1: in the middle of the day. This goes for food
Speaker 1: as well, which brings us to remember too, ask yourself
Speaker 1: before you order what this request, calls the waitress a
Speaker 1: fight with the kitchen staff, and consider, if you don't
Speaker 1: like two or more ingredients in an item, maybe you
Speaker 1: don't order that item. And lastly, yes, look into your
Speaker 1: server's eyes. Is it possible that their dog just died
Speaker 1: that day? Are they maybe going through a break up?
Speaker 1: Even at the answer to these questions is no, Still
Speaker 1: treat them with the utmost kindness. I hope this was
Speaker 1: helpful until next time. I have been your brunch consultant.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I fucking love her so much because
Speaker 1: we need to know the stuff. I'm one of those
Speaker 1: people that sometimes will go, I'll take three things out
Speaker 1: of a thing, but I won't replace that. Sometimes I
Speaker 1: do because I'm like, I know you got this in
Speaker 1: the by the way, I typic when that is going on.
Speaker 1: Don't like tips, he's he's I don't need. Man. The
Speaker 1: story is I told you that one story about Carlile
Speaker 1: working right. Yes, I'm still so fired up. I want
Speaker 1: to I'll show them to you another time. Okay, so
Speaker 1: did you see um let's go to a and ask women,
Speaker 1: Dear women have Reddit, what's something you've learned about lately
Speaker 1: and can you teach us about it. Okay, so this
Speaker 1: is when they ask women things. Oh my god, this
Speaker 1: is wild and cute. I'm so glad I remember to
Speaker 1: share this. Okay, honestly, I didn't even steer it because
Speaker 1: of the question was interesting. It's only this answer and
Speaker 1: there's no way to really save answers on Reddit. Okay,
Speaker 1: so someone wrote. Ancient psychic Pug wrote, when a hermit
Speaker 1: crab is trying to find a new show, this is
Speaker 1: the coolest thing you will know. Remember this for when
Speaker 1: people go, what's an interesting fact? You know that no
Speaker 1: one knows. You're the only You're gonna be the only
Speaker 1: one who knows this. When a hermit crowd is trying
Speaker 1: to find a new shell to grow into, and it
Speaker 1: finds a shell that is too big, it will sit
Speaker 1: by the big shell for around eight hours to see
Speaker 1: if a bigger hermit crab comes by to get the
Speaker 1: big shell. Other hermit crabs will see this, try out
Speaker 1: the big shell, and if it's too big, they will
Speaker 1: order themselves from largest to smallest in a line. If
Speaker 1: a hermit crab by comes by that can fit into
Speaker 1: the big shell, they will mass trade shells, moving down
Speaker 1: the line, hoping helping each other to get out of
Speaker 1: their shell, and they pass their shell to the next one.
Speaker 1: How fucking cute is that? That is a children's book
Speaker 1: waiting to happen. Okay, let's get the final thought. I
Speaker 1: wanted to say that I met so many besties this
Speaker 1: weekend in Vancouver and Winnipeg. Uh. I mean, I say
Speaker 1: it to you guys all the time. The people that
Speaker 1: listen to the show are my favorite fans. Sorry to
Speaker 1: everyone else. They just are. They're the nicest, most compassionate,
Speaker 1: they are complimentary, they are respectful of my boundaries and time.
Speaker 1: I love them. One in particular gave me and Andrew gifts. Um,
Speaker 1: she is funk on Instagram. Let me just see um,
Speaker 1: hold on one second, let me just find this post
Speaker 1: right now by the way, is his head is just
Speaker 1: he's just looking down. People got to check out the
Speaker 1: our YouTube to see it. Our YouTube. We really need
Speaker 1: you guys to subscribe. It's it's people right me and go.
Speaker 1: It's unacceptable there's only this many views on your podcast.
Speaker 1: It doesn't make sense. It really doesn't make sense. We
Speaker 1: we deserve more. Um and I get it. You maybe
Speaker 1: listen on your app and so you don't need to
Speaker 1: actually watch to throw us, throw us us up because
Speaker 1: the videos we spent, we spent a lot of time
Speaker 1: and it's just a fun thing to have on. Some
Speaker 1: people really like to watch podcasts, and if you have
Speaker 1: a friend who likes to watch podcasts, isn't into us yet,
Speaker 1: maybe maybe recommend us. Um. This is from Nicole Goodwin.
Speaker 1: She gave us a bag of goodies in um in Vancouver.
Speaker 1: Are you having a Luigi? I've never seen a dog
Speaker 1: lay like this. He's just looking down at the grass.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, you guys have to see this. Wait
Speaker 1: are we getting a good Oh? Yeah. Shout out to
Speaker 1: Christian Dorsey and James, who are going to zoom in
Speaker 1: on this right now. Thanks guys. Um. So this is
Speaker 1: what she gave us. Here, you got one of these
Speaker 1: ready to I'm gonna throw it at you. It's glass.
Speaker 1: That was a bad throw. I'm so sorry to that.
Speaker 1: Hey your knee. Oh you shouldn't have drank on Friday
Speaker 1: a drink? Thank god? I have a couple turkey tier
Speaker 1: she made us. Um, isn't that so cute? That's very nice? Yeah.
Speaker 1: Coffee mugs with our logo and a picture of us.
Speaker 1: So nice. Thank you so much, so much, and then
Speaker 1: I have another thing. She also made this, but I accidentally, um,
Speaker 1: I accidentally washed it. So I hope it's still fit you,
Speaker 1: but you you. I think it will work. But she
Speaker 1: said she makes t shirts for her company. I forget
Speaker 1: your name your company, babe, I'm sorry, And she said,
Speaker 1: I don't know anything about golf, so I just made
Speaker 1: up this one and it says always wash your balls
Speaker 1: and there's a picture of a golf see with ball
Speaker 1: and I think it's so funny. I love you got
Speaker 1: to put it on. And then she also made me
Speaker 1: this shirt that says, uh, friends not food. I love
Speaker 1: it so much. I got to see what her company is.
Speaker 1: Really good man, she's really good. Thank you whoever did this.
Speaker 1: It's and I also want to say she also made
Speaker 1: me another shirt that and I want to see what
Speaker 1: the company was called. She has a company where she
Speaker 1: made shirts and I really want to hold on. No,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry. I want to send it a shout out.
Speaker 1: That's amazing. One sick one sick one sick. I know
Speaker 1: it's so And let me just say so many besties
Speaker 1: were so sad that you were not there um on
Speaker 1: uh Friday and Saturday, and I explained to them, like
Speaker 1: why you weren't that you know, I explained, like you
Speaker 1: have a drinking problem now that you need to like you.
Speaker 1: I just sensed it, you know, crashing my wagon. Um.
Speaker 1: I can't find the name of her company, but it's uh.
Speaker 1: I'll write me girl when you hear this, and I'll
Speaker 1: give you a shout out on another pod. But um,
Speaker 1: she got me to the shirt, and she also got
Speaker 1: me a shirt. Then. I think I didn't check with her,
Speaker 1: But I think is inspired by our conversation about what's
Speaker 1: the best vegan messaging vegan message and it said um,
Speaker 1: I posted on my Instagram another day, but it said
Speaker 1: eating animals is weird and it's a v neck. It's
Speaker 1: so cute. I really want other vegans to wear it
Speaker 1: because it's so funny because I came up with that,
Speaker 1: but I don't want. I'm not sure what is it.
Speaker 1: It reminds me of machine Gun Kelly making fun of
Speaker 1: Eminem's beard. Yeah, beer is weird, it's so funny. Talked
Speaker 1: about what would be the best thing to get people
Speaker 1: to be like I don't want to like, and I
Speaker 1: think that's what we came up with. I think that's
Speaker 1: why she made it. I'm not sure. Maybe it wasn't
Speaker 1: my idea, but I did have on your write me
Speaker 1: when she saw it on my Instagram and said, honestly,
Speaker 1: that's the best vegan messaging I've ever seen, because first
Speaker 1: of all, calling it instead of meat, calling it animals
Speaker 1: really puts it in perspective and no one wants to
Speaker 1: be weird. And I have to say I felt I
Speaker 1: wore the other day coming back from Vancouver. It was
Speaker 1: a long travel day in public a lot. I was
Speaker 1: getting stared at so many people reading it and feeling
Speaker 1: and like giving me looks. I felt like that guy
Speaker 1: that I make fun of in my act who wears
Speaker 1: like a shirt this is like I lubricate my A
Speaker 1: R fifteen with liberal tears. Like it felt like kind
Speaker 1: of like that of like fuck all you meet Eather's.
Speaker 1: But it was interesting to see the looks I was
Speaker 1: getting of, like she thinks she's cool and I was
Speaker 1: wearing a vegan leather jacket and I know people were thinking,
Speaker 1: what a fucking hypocrite that she's wearing a leather deck
Speaker 1: because it looks real. Um, but I loved it. I
Speaker 1: love that shirt. I love UM give these gifts someone
Speaker 1: also gave me um, I don't I'm sorry to just
Speaker 1: do the full final thought is like gift shout out.
Speaker 1: But I think I also got oh my god, I
Speaker 1: did Whitney Cummings podcast. I'll talk about how she helped
Speaker 1: me with dead people's parents. Well, you can just listen
Speaker 1: to podcast to find out. We did three hours without
Speaker 1: even trying. Um, but she gave me. When I first
Speaker 1: got in there, I was like, that water bottle is
Speaker 1: like a Taylor Swift water bottle. Like I was just
Speaker 1: like I saw it on her like desk, like in
Speaker 1: the but she has a lot of ship in there,
Speaker 1: and she gets a lot of prom promotional stuff. She's
Speaker 1: not a Swift to either. But I was like, that
Speaker 1: is a lover fucking hydro flask. And I was like, god,
Speaker 1: I love that so much. I wonder if she would
Speaker 1: give it to me if I complimented it. And then
Speaker 1: at the end of the show, she was like, I
Speaker 1: have a couple of gifts for you, and I was
Speaker 1: like no, and she was like, first of all, look
Speaker 1: behind you on the shelf, behind me on the shelf.
Speaker 1: What let me say, good boy, She's going to get
Speaker 1: something right now, folks. It's a present behind me, behind
Speaker 1: me on the shelf. It was something I had just
Speaker 1: seen on the Taylor Swift merchandise store that I would
Speaker 1: never buy for myself. Now, these are the best gifts
Speaker 1: for me. Is things in the Taylor Swift merch store
Speaker 1: that aren't shirts, but are things that are just too
Speaker 1: ridiculous to buy for yourself. This is called the Vault,
Speaker 1: and it has inside a snow globe that exploded in
Speaker 1: my bag and was dripping Google all over my clothing.
Speaker 1: But worth it. I nearly cried because I wanted this
Speaker 1: so bad. I don't even know what the funk it is.
Speaker 1: It's just a snow globe that was probably like seventy dollars.
Speaker 1: It's plastic, was made in China, um but as like guitars,
Speaker 1: and it's the Vault because she all the songs that
Speaker 1: she doesn't release, she calls like the Vault the Vault songs.
Speaker 1: And then she also the snowlobe inside you because Sailor
Speaker 1: slipped a lot of her imagery is snow globes, and
Speaker 1: so it's just like a swifty thing that I love.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep it here in the podcast room, even
Speaker 1: though it's shattered on the way. Um. And then she
Speaker 1: was like and also this hydro flask and I was
Speaker 1: like I saw that on the way. I was so excited.
Speaker 1: So I got that. And then a bestie in Vancouver
Speaker 1: who owns a a resale shop that has like fucking
Speaker 1: awesome teas and ship like that, who I'm always He's
Speaker 1: like a fan and he started writing me when I
Speaker 1: was posting that I would liked resale stuff. Oh I
Speaker 1: I know the Fraser and Pine f A R S
Speaker 1: E R and Pine is the name of that. Uh,
Speaker 1: if you want to get a vegan shirt if you're
Speaker 1: being out there. Um. And then this guy he always
Speaker 1: sends me like do you want this? He'll send me
Speaker 1: like Britney Spear shirts, like he's at stores looking for
Speaker 1: cool vintage shirts and I'll either be like pass or
Speaker 1: yes I do. And then he'll be like one was
Speaker 1: a Chappelle shirt that was an old one, and I
Speaker 1: was like fuck yes it was like I paid for
Speaker 1: it and it never arrived. Fucking sucks. But um, he
Speaker 1: got me a Taylor Swift like crew shirts, so someone
Speaker 1: that worked on her crew for that, like that is
Speaker 1: so rare. And he got me a Fearless shirt, which
Speaker 1: is like her first like not her first album, but
Speaker 1: her second album. A tour shirt that is so fucking
Speaker 1: rare it's probably worth a thousand, like this guy hooked
Speaker 1: it up so much. And I just want to say
Speaker 1: thank you so much to Joel and I'll give you
Speaker 1: shout out about your company later. And I didn't do
Speaker 1: that in exchange for like advertising. I'm just saying thank
Speaker 1: you to my friends that did that for me. And um, yeah,
Speaker 1: I gotta bring extra suitcases for these gifts. By the way,
Speaker 1: my favorite is just a heartfelt letter or any kind
Speaker 1: of like a drawing you make any fucking thing, so um.
Speaker 1: And and also money, um, oh my god, what was
Speaker 1: I going to tell you? Fun? One last thing to
Speaker 1: tell you, Andrew God, damn it. Um, I guess I'll
Speaker 1: have to come up with off air. But um, I
Speaker 1: hope you guys watch my show. I really hope that
Speaker 1: Nashville people come out and see me in Nashville. If
Speaker 1: you have friends in Nashville, please I think it only
Speaker 1: some pent of the house and it's coming up, so
Speaker 1: please get on that you guys. I would love to
Speaker 1: perform for you. Um, if you have friends out there.
Speaker 1: I just don't understand why they're not selling as well,
Speaker 1: but those Thank you so much. And I don't really
Speaker 1: give a ship to be there. He is, he's gonna come.
Speaker 1: I'll get down, all right, guys. Well I'll get to
Speaker 1: ask him about Taylor Swift. Thank you so much for um.
Speaker 1: We will see you this weekend in Texas. We'll see
Speaker 1: you next week in New Orleans, Jacksonville, and another Florida place,
Speaker 1: and then we'll see you the following weekend somewhere else.
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening. Don't be kire and Shick Daniels
Speaker 1: is a drink that Andrew will probably this weekend. That's
Speaker 1: literally where I went were no, I will thursty