WEBVTT - Ep 224 - Get Out of the Drama Triangle 0:00:16.400 --> 0:00:24.200 Me, me, me, me, Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black, 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:29.319 we're brown ambition. So normally you guys don't hear the 0:00:29.320 --> 0:00:31.520 warm up that I do. But you know, CALLI, you 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.320 can leave that in because I need people to understand 0:00:33.320 --> 0:00:35.040 that these vocals don't come easy. 0:00:35.520 --> 0:00:39.560 Hang got it? How does a podcast hosted by two 0:00:39.720 --> 0:00:43.040 POC's from New York and New Jersey make it to 0:00:43.200 --> 0:00:51.560 the top of the Spotify list? Yeah, I had to, 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:53.920 I had I bailed. I bailed too soon when I 0:00:53.920 --> 0:00:57.360 got scared of my own talent. The pressure freestyle. 0:00:57.480 --> 0:00:59.280 Yes, you know, don't don't let it. You have to 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:01.760 just let that loose. It's in you, it is in me. 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:05.000 Like so many people, I just spent my uh what 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:08.679 are we calling this the fifteenth day after Juneteenth holiday weekend? 0:01:09.720 --> 0:01:14.200 I just spent that watching Hamilton on repeat? And genuinely, 0:01:14.240 --> 0:01:17.320 I know, Tiffany, you haven't seen Hamilton. What's your excuse now, 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:19.000 my friend. 0:01:18.440 --> 0:01:22.840 I don't know. I'm not much of a TV watcher. 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:25.360 I don't understand the premise. 0:01:26.240 --> 0:01:28.560 No, no, I've heard the primes of Hamilton TV. Do 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:28.920 you mean? 0:01:28.959 --> 0:01:30.960 Like, but everyone watches on their computer now and I 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:32.880 don't really consider it well, actually we watch on our 0:01:32.920 --> 0:01:36.520 actual television, but it's like Netflix and Disney Plus, are 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:37.319 they really TV? 0:01:37.959 --> 0:01:39.880 Yeah? I don't know. I don't say. I just don't. 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:43.440 I just have not really gotten into like my husband 0:01:43.480 --> 0:01:46.120 loves like movies and shows and things like that. I 0:01:46.360 --> 0:01:49.320 just it's rare for like a show or movie or 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:51.240 whatever to hold my anterest very long these days. I 0:01:51.240 --> 0:01:51.600 don't know. 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:54.040 So I just it's two hours and forty minutes. 0:01:55.360 --> 0:01:57.080 No, no, I might. I might take to it like 0:01:57.080 --> 0:01:59.240 I did with Kimmy Kimmy Schmidt. I love that. 0:01:59.560 --> 0:02:03.480 Oh like yourself some Titus Titus Burgess, Hey, Titus Fellow, 0:02:03.520 --> 0:02:06.840 Ega grad love you I And he also retweeted our 0:02:06.880 --> 0:02:10.480 being named Grady campaign. Thanks mister. But listen, I have 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:13.560 to talk about Hamilton, and hopefully this will encourage you 0:02:13.639 --> 0:02:15.880 to watch it, because whether or not you are a 0:02:15.880 --> 0:02:21.960 Broadway fan, a history fan, musical fan, story, hip hop fan, whatever, 0:02:22.360 --> 0:02:26.440 I think Hamilton became such a cultural touchstone when it 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:29.600 was premiered on Broadway, or when it premiered on Broadway 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:33.639 four or five years ago, and it was the defining 0:02:34.240 --> 0:02:37.200 piece of artwork for I think a generation, and it's 0:02:37.200 --> 0:02:40.040 going to become what Camelot was to the Kennedys, where 0:02:40.400 --> 0:02:43.640 Hamilton is the Obama administration. Everyone's going to remember the 0:02:43.680 --> 0:02:47.000 time of Obama in Hamilton. And it is for those 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:48.800 of you who have been sleeping under a rock or 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:51.480 just you know, avoiding it, like Tiffany and My Little Brother. 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:54.960 Hamilton is a musical based on the life of Alexander 0:02:55.000 --> 0:02:58.519 Hamilton and our founding fathers Thomas Jefferson and others who 0:02:59.120 --> 0:03:03.400 fought in the Revolutionary War and wrote our Declaration of Independence, 0:03:03.440 --> 0:03:05.360 the Bill of Rights, how our nation was founded, and 0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:07.320 the fact that it was founded by in one of 0:03:07.320 --> 0:03:10.040 the founders, Alexander Hamilton. Like a lot of people, all 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:11.640 I knew about him was that he was killed in 0:03:11.639 --> 0:03:15.560 a duel, and that seemed really dumb. And Glynn Manuel Miranda, 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:18.000 who grew up in Washington Heights in New York. He 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:21.919 is Puerto Rican. His parents immigrated here from the island 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:26.280 before he was born. And hip hop was really, you know, 0:03:26.520 --> 0:03:28.040 like in the Heights. I mean, hip hop was just 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:31.520 instrumental to his growing up. And he also became a 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:34.520 Broadway nerd, and he really mashed those two things together 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:37.360 when he created Hamilton. He's won the Pilitzer. He's been 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:41.520 named MacArthur Genius. This was a phenomenon, like people in 0:03:41.560 --> 0:03:43.880 Middle America knew about a show that they couldn't even 0:03:43.920 --> 0:03:46.080 see in New York City, and now it's all over 0:03:46.120 --> 0:03:48.600 the country, or at least it was before it became 0:03:49.480 --> 0:03:51.560 too dangerous to go to theaters anymore, which is very 0:03:51.600 --> 0:03:54.440 sad to me. So now it has been released on 0:03:54.440 --> 0:03:57.600 Disney Plus as a film. They actually filmed Hamilton four 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:01.040 years ago when they were just about it was after 0:04:01.080 --> 0:04:02.920 the first year of their run on Broadway, and now 0:04:02.920 --> 0:04:06.080 it's available. And what's so fascinating about Hamilton is it 0:04:06.120 --> 0:04:09.200 was for me, it was huge, Like Tiffany, if you've 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:11.240 ever been to a Broadway show, you know, the audience 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:15.960 is usually very old, very white, and I've been going 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:18.320 to shows. I mean also the audience is very old 0:04:18.320 --> 0:04:22.080 and very white because it's very expensive to go to Broadway. 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.800 I mean, we're talking about two hundred dollars for a 0:04:24.839 --> 0:04:26.680 show unless you really know you know how to get 0:04:26.760 --> 0:04:29.800 cheap tickets, and there's not very many ways to get 0:04:30.560 --> 0:04:34.359 like affordable tickets anymore, especially there's so much demand for 0:04:34.400 --> 0:04:38.800 lotteries and things like that. So Broadway really is just 0:04:39.360 --> 0:04:42.640 inherent in the in the in the art form. It 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.520 is I think classes because it really keeps out people 0:04:45.520 --> 0:04:48.680 who are at lower income threshold and cannot afford to 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:50.920 see it. And I only really began to be able 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:53.440 to afford Broadway like a few years ago, and even 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:55.159 then I had to save and it was really a 0:04:55.200 --> 0:04:58.320 big moment for me to go to a show. Hamilton 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:03.080 for me was so important and so huge is because 0:05:03.120 --> 0:05:07.520 the cast is largely people of color, Latino, Filipino, black. 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:10.920 It features a hip hop retelling of the founding of 0:05:10.960 --> 0:05:14.480 our nation. It is powerful. It is so powerful if 0:05:14.520 --> 0:05:16.600 you are like me and you have been starved for 0:05:16.640 --> 0:05:19.880 stories on Broadway from people who look like us. I 0:05:19.920 --> 0:05:23.040 remember very specifically when I saw Nashville on Broadway, which 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:25.200 is set I think in the nineteen sixties, and it 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:29.120 tells it tells the story of Motown but through the 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:31.440 lens of the artists who performing in Nashville at the time, 0:05:31.680 --> 0:05:35.120 and it was beautiful. And there really haven't been that 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:37.720 many more moments for me on Broadway. And then Hamilton 0:05:37.760 --> 0:05:40.960 comes around, and not only is the stage diverse, but 0:05:41.120 --> 0:05:44.680 the audience became more diverse because they came to see 0:05:44.720 --> 0:05:46.560 a play that featured people who look like them and 0:05:46.600 --> 0:05:50.480 it was magical. What's happening now it's four years later, 0:05:50.520 --> 0:05:53.840 Now we're in this different context. Back then, it was like, yeah, 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:56.400 Trump was elected, but Hamilton came around twenty fifteen, twenty 0:05:56.440 --> 0:05:58.720 sixteen before Trump was elected. It was still the good 0:05:58.720 --> 0:06:03.120 old years, you know, with in power, and Hamilton seemed 0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:06.560 to embolize everything that you know, the Obama stood for. 0:06:06.720 --> 0:06:09.039 And they were very supportive of the play and saw 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:12.000 a million times. But now we're in twenty twenty. We've 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:15.600 got the backdrop Black Lives Matter movement, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:19.039 Elijah McCain, all of these, you know, and and the 0:06:19.080 --> 0:06:21.120 list goes on and on, and we're in the middle 0:06:21.120 --> 0:06:25.880 of a pandemic. And Hamilton was universally beloved at least 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:28.200 it felt that way when it first came out. But 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:31.680 what we're seeing now is people like my brother, for example, 0:06:31.720 --> 0:06:35.000 have watched Hamilton and he's never seen it before, and he, 0:06:35.400 --> 0:06:37.680 you know, he din'ner. He was like, almost seems really overhyped. 0:06:37.680 --> 0:06:39.960 And I'm not trying to like just jump on any bandwagon, 0:06:40.000 --> 0:06:41.760 but I begged him, begged him, begged him to watch 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:44.160 it because I was really interested to hear his opinion. 0:06:44.480 --> 0:06:47.520 He's a very he's a tough critic. He loves hip hop. 0:06:47.520 --> 0:06:50.799 He actually performs and writes songs and raps himself. 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.200 Of course he does. Yes. 0:06:53.279 --> 0:06:59.159 His stage name is rain Jeju Hilary now Rain Rain. 0:06:59.400 --> 0:07:02.320 I'm very proud he's writing music right now, new music. 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:06.160 Lookout Rain DTB on SoundCloud. But I wanted to get 0:07:06.160 --> 0:07:09.640 his opinion. He's young, he's very entrenched in what's going 0:07:09.640 --> 0:07:12.560 on in Atlanta with the BLM movement and politics and 0:07:12.600 --> 0:07:16.440 all of that. You know what, he hated it. He 0:07:17.040 --> 0:07:19.880 hated Hamilton and he had one very specific reason why. 0:07:20.280 --> 0:07:23.440 He said, of all the stories you can tell with 0:07:23.560 --> 0:07:28.600 that many black and brown artists and hip hop itself, 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:34.400 the art form that was founded by black poets, artist freestylers, 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:39.080 spoken word artists in the sound box, like, how do 0:07:39.120 --> 0:07:41.080 you take that art form and then use it to 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:45.240 lift up the stories of white men who played such 0:07:45.240 --> 0:07:49.160 a massive role in proliferating slavery at the founding of 0:07:49.200 --> 0:07:51.920 our nation. And he just couldn't get beyond that. He 0:07:51.960 --> 0:07:55.200 couldn't get beyond the fact that he was his hip hop, 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:57.840 which he loves was being used to tell the stories 0:07:57.840 --> 0:08:01.320 of these white guys who own slaves. And yes, Hamilton 0:08:01.920 --> 0:08:05.200 mentioned slaves in a couple of It mentions the fact 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:07.320 that Thomas Jefferson owned slaves. It mentions the fact that 0:08:07.400 --> 0:08:09.440 George Washington actually does it. I'm not really I don't 0:08:09.480 --> 0:08:12.280 remember if it mentions Washington's the Washington the fact that 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:15.800 he owned slaves until his death. He emancipated his slaves 0:08:16.560 --> 0:08:19.440 in his will. So generous of him. Wait until I 0:08:19.480 --> 0:08:21.040 don't need you anymore and then y'all can get out 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.200 of here. So he really took issue with that, and 0:08:23.240 --> 0:08:26.880 he's not the only one. People are really critically looking 0:08:26.920 --> 0:08:30.080 at Hamilton, And you know, my little brother was like, 0:08:30.120 --> 0:08:34.079 it just kind of felt like the Obama version of 0:08:34.120 --> 0:08:37.240 a hip hop musical. And it hurts my heart that 0:08:37.280 --> 0:08:40.080 he's so cynical about Obama. I'm gonna help him get 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:42.120 to the other side. But you know a lot of 0:08:42.120 --> 0:08:45.080 people criticize Obama. Did he do enough for Black Americans? 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:47.920 Shouldn't he have done more for criminal justice reform? Shouldn't 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:51.280 he have done this? Or that? Wasn't like the pressure 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:53.880 is so real the first black president, he was never 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:57.080 going to be good enough and he was damn near perfect, 0:08:57.120 --> 0:09:00.240 you know, in everything he did, this same thing is 0:09:00.240 --> 0:09:03.320 happening to Hamilton. I think it is one of it 0:09:03.400 --> 0:09:06.120 is such a huge cultural touchdone. It's all these black 0:09:06.120 --> 0:09:11.080 and brown actors, singers, dancers, written by a Puerto Rican composer. It's, 0:09:11.120 --> 0:09:13.920 you know, about an immigrant story at its heart, and 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:18.080 people are just kind of they're really tearing it apart. 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:21.320 They're wanting these Founding Fathers heads on a spike. And 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:24.880 I completely see it. But it's just a very it's 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:27.760 a very interesting debate right now, and I'm actually it 0:09:27.760 --> 0:09:29.760 makes me like, in a strange way, it makes me 0:09:29.880 --> 0:09:30.680 like Hamilton more. 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.360 But because also too, I mean, I think it's art. 0:09:34.480 --> 0:09:36.440 It's meant to be debated. It's meant to be torn 0:09:36.480 --> 0:09:38.280 apart and looked at and put back together and torn 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:40.920 apart and looked at. So I think that all the 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:44.240 opinions are valid. I think that would we be talking 0:09:44.240 --> 0:09:47.360 about Hamilton had he not done a hip hop story 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.760 about the Founding Fathers now, if he had done a 0:09:50.840 --> 0:09:54.160 hip hop a musical about the start of hip hop, 0:09:54.360 --> 0:09:56.680 I mean, you know what I mean. So it's almost 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:58.760 like the thing you criticize is also the reason why 0:09:58.800 --> 0:10:01.680 you're able to criticize it. So, you know, I just 0:10:01.720 --> 0:10:04.560 feel like it's art. It's meant to be you know, 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:08.040 we're not talking about you know, I don't know, like 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:12.040 it's art is subjective and so you know, it's meant 0:10:12.080 --> 0:10:14.920 to be critically looked at, and especially because there's some 0:10:14.960 --> 0:10:17.120 things like for example, like I mean, even though it's 0:10:17.160 --> 0:10:19.079 not the same as Hamilton, but thinking about like I 0:10:19.200 --> 0:10:22.679 used to love Martin the show, but if I were 0:10:22.679 --> 0:10:23.440 to watch it now. 0:10:23.360 --> 0:10:24.560 I create March. 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:28.920 Well, you could create because some of the jokes you're like, yeah, 0:10:28.960 --> 0:10:32.600 like so and that's and that's okay. You know, things 0:10:32.640 --> 0:10:34.960 that we're okay then are not necessarily okay now that 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:37.520 certain things don't age well, some things stand the test 0:10:37.559 --> 0:10:39.240 of time. And I think it is what it is. 0:10:39.280 --> 0:10:42.360 I think that, you know, I don't think that anyone 0:10:42.400 --> 0:10:44.640 can dismantle, you know, what Hamilton brought to the table. 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:47.640 I think that you know that this only also puts 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:52.920 Hamilton cements its place in history and these types of conversations. 0:10:53.000 --> 0:10:55.000 So so now you make me curious to watch it, 0:10:55.040 --> 0:10:55.920 so I shall. 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:57.840 I'd love to hear what you think about it. Just 0:10:57.840 --> 0:11:00.400 anyone who hasn't seen it yet, and it's very different. 0:11:00.440 --> 0:11:03.200 I mean, it's a beautiful experience on the screen. In fact, 0:11:03.240 --> 0:11:04.959 it's the best scene in the house. We weren't even 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:07.240 that close to the stage. They have the angles. It 0:11:07.280 --> 0:11:10.520 feels cinematic. It's beautiful. But I'm very curious to hear 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:13.400 your thoughts because I did see it in twenty sixteen 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:15.719 and now I'm seeing it today. I still love it, 0:11:15.760 --> 0:11:19.280 and I don't take anything away from lind Man and 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:24.160 wil Miranda. He is a Latino man who has been 0:11:24.640 --> 0:11:30.320 through his own grit and determination and his talent has 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:32.960 clawed his way to the top and has taken people 0:11:33.000 --> 0:11:37.240 with him. He has catapulted the careers of so many 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:41.959 unknown Broadway actors, rappers, actresses, people who had been Broadway 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:45.040 stars but hadn't crossed over yet because there just weren't 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.040 enough opportunities for them to share their talents and meaningful 0:11:48.120 --> 0:11:51.400 roles on Broadway. And he gave them they He gave 0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:53.040 them a voice in the musical that he didn't have 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:55.480 to give them a voice in. No one would have said, oh, hey, 0:11:55.480 --> 0:11:58.640 Alexander Hamilton, play okay cool, everyone's white. Yeah sounds about right. 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:02.720 But he cast. He did color blind casting, and he 0:12:02.760 --> 0:12:04.520 you know, he says he had to one because those 0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:06.839 are the people that he knows. And also because he's 0:12:06.880 --> 0:12:09.560 doing a rap hip hop musical, So what's he gonna do, Like, 0:12:09.679 --> 0:12:12.160 how can he cast? It would just be ridiculous to 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:14.520 test anyone other than artists who can be true to 0:12:14.559 --> 0:12:17.760 that art form. And that is what I've been advocating for, 0:12:17.800 --> 0:12:19.760 you know, the past couple of shows, just talking about 0:12:19.760 --> 0:12:22.000 how if you're given a piece of power, do your 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.080 best to make things a little bit better, you know 0:12:24.200 --> 0:12:26.240 than what you found it. Maybe you like, you're no 0:12:26.559 --> 0:12:29.440 sure he could have done a better job, you know, 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.720 ripping apart these characters for the role that they played 0:12:34.000 --> 0:12:37.560 in the slave trade and how they fought for freedom 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:39.800 and liberties that did not apply to everyone, despite the 0:12:39.800 --> 0:12:41.040 words in their own constitution. 0:12:42.280 --> 0:12:43.200 But he forced us. 0:12:43.120 --> 0:12:45.400 To look at it through the lens of black and 0:12:45.440 --> 0:12:48.880 brown voices, and it almost to me it is a 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.880 huge middle finger to the founding fathers because like, screw 0:12:52.000 --> 0:12:54.760 you guys, look at us now, we are here, thank 0:12:54.800 --> 0:12:57.120 you for this nation. We're taking it back now. We 0:12:57.200 --> 0:12:59.520 are at the center of the story. Even though you 0:12:59.559 --> 0:13:01.360 would have preferred that we were in the background the 0:13:01.360 --> 0:13:04.200 whole time we are in this We're taking back the narrative. 0:13:04.240 --> 0:13:07.200 That's one of the key lines from Hamilton. I'm trying 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:09.120 not to get too on my soapbox about it, because 0:13:09.160 --> 0:13:12.840 I am pretty it's in my blood the show and 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.520 the themes in it. But we're taking back the narrative. 0:13:15.559 --> 0:13:17.959 It's in our hands. Who lives, who dies? Who tells 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:20.760 our story? We do we can, and if you don't 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:24.400 like the way someone tells it you His success means 0:13:24.440 --> 0:13:26.920 that someone else who looks like him or someone different 0:13:27.240 --> 0:13:31.280 will have an easier time telling their story. And I 0:13:31.320 --> 0:13:36.160 promise no more songs, I mean, maybe a little bone. 0:13:35.800 --> 0:13:38.960 Well, speaking of artists and hip hop, I'm just gonna 0:13:38.960 --> 0:13:40.640 say it and then we're gonna leave it and run away. 0:13:40.679 --> 0:13:43.280 Okay, okay, say it. I'm ready. I know what you're 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:43.720 gonna say. 0:13:45.160 --> 0:13:50.080 So Kanye Amari West tweeted that he is running for president, 0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:53.520 which is not feasible or possible because he did not 0:13:53.640 --> 0:13:58.920 do the proper filings to do so. So I don't 0:13:58.960 --> 0:14:02.839 know why he tweeted this attention that's not true. I 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:03.720 do know why. Attention. 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:05.360 Yeah, I can give you a couple of reasons why 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:09.720 gap partnership, new album coming out, or any music he's 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:14.960 promoting attention just yeah, you know, all the dead black 0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:18.600 bodies and our ridiculous president. We're just taking in the pandemic. 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:21.200 We're just taking a little bit too much. So Kanye 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:24.200 needed to like ease on in there to Twitter and 0:14:24.240 --> 0:14:26.040 take a little piece of that spotlight away. 0:14:26.360 --> 0:14:29.440 Yes, so just we've said it, he's you know, he's 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:34.160 not obviously running so but it was just very Kanye, 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:37.440 very Kanye, Yes, very Kanye. Speaking of Kanye actually did 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:40.520 like so I did a like a someone said it 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:43.240 was a rant, but whatever I did like a. I 0:14:43.280 --> 0:14:46.800 put it on my RGTV Stories. No, I don't know 0:14:46.840 --> 0:14:49.880 what they call like us ig TV channel anyway, but 0:14:49.920 --> 0:14:52.480 where I talked about race in finance. And it's so 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:54.800 funny because one of the companies that I was like mentioning, 0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:56.560 they actually emailed me today. 0:14:57.360 --> 0:15:00.400 This was recent I missed a Tiffany rant. Where can 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:01.560 I is it? Teep? Can I DV? 0:15:01.680 --> 0:15:05.760 Or how do you I'm wearing like what looks to 0:15:05.800 --> 0:15:08.400 be like it's an African sque top and I have 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:09.640 a high ponytail. That's all you know. 0:15:09.720 --> 0:15:12.880 So you have to look an esque. Come on now, well, yeah, because. 0:15:12.720 --> 0:15:15.200 It's not really African, but it looks I mean, it 0:15:15.240 --> 0:15:16.680 was just addressed that my sister lent me because I 0:15:16.680 --> 0:15:18.360 had done something else earlier that day. And it's like 0:15:18.400 --> 0:15:21.520 pink and pink and black. So you go to the budgetista, 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:24.960 you'll look in my it literally it's called Let's talk 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:27.440 about rac and Money. You know, like when you can 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:30.640 watch IGTV, you can it's like these little buttons on 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.840 the top of your pictures. It's like you can look 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:34.920 at someone's feed, you can do IGTV, or you can 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:37.200 look to see how many people have tagged you in 0:15:37.280 --> 0:15:39.600 the thing. So anyways, it's on my IGTV and it's 0:15:39.720 --> 0:15:41.920 it's called Let's talk about Racing Money, and so we 0:15:41.960 --> 0:15:45.240 talk about racing money and so yeah, yeah, I just 0:15:45.280 --> 0:15:46.720 wanted to because I was just thinking about we were 0:15:46.760 --> 0:15:49.840 talking about, uh, race and money? Because oh you know 0:15:49.880 --> 0:15:52.920 why I came up because someone who interviewed and asked 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:56.560 me this. It was maybe forms or SEEINGBCEE. Somebody asked me, 0:15:57.440 --> 0:16:01.200 did I think that they had been interviewing some financial 0:16:01.480 --> 0:16:05.920 educators and experts whatever, some of whom believe that race 0:16:06.040 --> 0:16:08.840 and money should not be talked about together two separate things. Like, 0:16:08.840 --> 0:16:11.280 for example, someone told me I've not heard this to 0:16:11.320 --> 0:16:13.360 be true, but someone told me that Dave Ramsey said 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:16.120 money is not black or white, it's green. That there's 0:16:16.160 --> 0:16:18.240 no place for race and money. And I'm like, well, 0:16:18.760 --> 0:16:21.240 how white of you. That's so cute that you can 0:16:21.280 --> 0:16:23.920 live like that. What the hell is he talking about 0:16:23.920 --> 0:16:27.800 if he said that, because that's just not Yeah, So, 0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:30.960 not only is there a gender gap, there's a it's 0:16:31.000 --> 0:16:36.080 exacerbated by your race. It's you know, how much you make, 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:40.800 how much you spend, Like my owner's insurance is influenced 0:16:40.840 --> 0:16:43.520 by where I live because of the races oft people 0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:46.160 that I live here. We'll talk about later on in 0:16:46.200 --> 0:16:49.120 the show about you know, we've already talked about appraisals, 0:16:49.120 --> 0:16:52.440 but we have like this like update to talk about that. 0:16:52.520 --> 0:16:57.320 I mean, I cannot personally separate my race from the 0:16:57.360 --> 0:17:00.120 way I have to navigate with my money. 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:01.800 And that's the definition of privilege. 0:17:02.080 --> 0:17:04.720 I mean literally, I mean I'm to do that. I 0:17:04.720 --> 0:17:06.919 would love to not do that. I mean what I 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:09.040 would love to be like, Hey, nobody cares about what 0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:11.040 color you are if this is how much you make, 0:17:11.080 --> 0:17:13.359 because this is what you're owed, you know, and this 0:17:13.400 --> 0:17:15.879 is how much you this thing costs, because that's just 0:17:15.920 --> 0:17:18.080 how much it costs. I don't have the privilege of 0:17:18.080 --> 0:17:19.880 being able to separate the two. So when she told 0:17:19.920 --> 0:17:22.359 me that a bunch of financial educators, you know, that 0:17:22.400 --> 0:17:24.879 she'd interviewed, like I said, I can't remember what it 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.719 was like Forbes or Time or something like that, I 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:29.520 was like, yeah, I can almost guarante you what they 0:17:29.520 --> 0:17:33.320 look like because they don't have to consider that, you know, 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:34.359 I don't. 0:17:34.480 --> 0:17:37.159 I don't have irresponsible reporting if those are the sources 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:38.679 you're going to use in a story like this. 0:17:39.359 --> 0:17:41.520 No, well, I think that she wanted the story was 0:17:41.560 --> 0:17:43.560 about race and finance and to see what a financial 0:17:43.640 --> 0:17:45.679 educators think. So I think she wanted to pull out, 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:48.000 Like so what do you think, Tiffany, And I was like, 0:17:48.080 --> 0:17:50.240 I think I don't have a choice. You know, that's 0:17:50.280 --> 0:17:54.119 like saying, you know, separating you know, my my gender. 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.720 You know, like there are certain things that just it's 0:17:57.920 --> 0:18:00.399 ingrained in the system. We know that, and may get 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:03.240 paid less. I mean, should it be can it be changed? Absolutely, 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:06.440 but it's still a thing that I can't pull out, 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:08.640 you know, Like I would love to pull that out 0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:11.080 that I would love to know that as an influencer 0:18:11.720 --> 0:18:14.280 or an educator whatever, that I'm paid the same despite 0:18:14.320 --> 0:18:15.879 the fact that me being a woman and then being 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:17.600 a being a black woman on top of that. So 0:18:17.840 --> 0:18:19.399 I just thought that was so I did a whole 0:18:20.359 --> 0:18:22.240 because of that interview and maybe it just put me 0:18:22.240 --> 0:18:24.400 in a state of mind to do like a talk 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:26.639 and a rant. And you can certainly tune in and listen, 0:18:27.880 --> 0:18:29.560 but I wanted to take like a veer to the left. 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:33.359 So I wanted you actually just as good, right, I 0:18:33.440 --> 0:18:35.639 want to your advice man drugs. I feel like you 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:39.600 are good with whether or not because I tend to 0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:41.960 lean on not saying when something is not right, and 0:18:42.000 --> 0:18:43.520 I feel like you're more of a better gauge. So 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.320 I use a service. Well, it was a product that 0:18:47.359 --> 0:18:52.439 I order handmade beautiful, but the young woman who was black, 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:58.080 who was delivering these products to me, it has been challenging. 0:18:59.040 --> 0:18:59.720 Everything has been. 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:02.159 Late, so much pressure on black owned business. 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:06.880 I know perfect, So I know. So everything has been late, 0:19:07.880 --> 0:19:10.520 I mean like months late, and some of it was 0:19:10.560 --> 0:19:13.760 really timely, Like, well, I guess that birthday is not happening. 0:19:14.320 --> 0:19:17.159 You know that kind of thing, and it's been monthly 0:19:17.240 --> 0:19:19.080 and then too there's no follow up, Like if I 0:19:19.080 --> 0:19:21.080 don't follow up, I just guess I don't hear anything. 0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:23.119 Like literally every follow up of like, hey, where's the 0:19:23.119 --> 0:19:25.440 thing I paid for? And I intentionally like, I don't 0:19:25.480 --> 0:19:28.040 take discounts on black women, so cheat offer me. They're like, 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:29.560 oh my gosh, I love you, but Janizza, you know 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:31.040 I love what you're doing. I'll give you a discount. 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:33.320 I said, thank you, but no want to pay pull 0:19:33.520 --> 0:19:36.399 full price just like everyone else because I'm also going 0:19:36.480 --> 0:19:40.040 to expect full service, and so that has not happened. 0:19:40.160 --> 0:19:43.679 So our our working relationship has coming to an end, 0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:45.400 like I'll finally get the final thing that I've paid 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:48.800 for soon hopefully. So I'm just wondering, I would I 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.400 want to pull her aside to have like a sister 0:19:51.520 --> 0:19:56.240 the sister hey girl, hey like business almost you know, 0:19:56.320 --> 0:19:59.200 black business owner to black business owner. Here's some things 0:19:59.240 --> 0:20:00.840 that you know, here's someeedback so you can do better. 0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:03.240 Obviously I'm not gonna I'm not dragging her on social 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.359 or anything like that, but I don't know is it 0:20:06.440 --> 0:20:09.320 my place too, because we're not like like if it 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:10.879 was you many we're friends. So I could be like 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:13.760 girl seeing a thing telling you, you know a thing, 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:16.520 but someone we're not you know, we're not bosom buddies. 0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:19.000 We're not friends. You know. I was just a client, 0:20:19.560 --> 0:20:21.920 and I do have some feedback, and I would love 0:20:22.000 --> 0:20:24.080 to be able to give it to her, like you know, 0:20:24.400 --> 0:20:26.600 in a you know, from like literally like black women 0:20:26.640 --> 0:20:28.359 and black woman business owners to a business owner. But 0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:30.960 I'm not sure if it's appropriate, and she has not asked, 0:20:31.040 --> 0:20:34.440 you know, so when it made sense, I would say, hey, 0:20:34.560 --> 0:20:37.080 you know, checking another thing, I don't have it, or hey, 0:20:37.359 --> 0:20:39.159 this wasn't delivered in the way that I was expecting. 0:20:39.200 --> 0:20:41.720 So I've given the basic feedback, but that's not what 0:20:41.760 --> 0:20:45.400 I'm saying. I'm saying like that deeper. I didn't ask 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:47.960 you for all that feedback, Like honestly, if you would 0:20:48.000 --> 0:20:49.480 do this, this, this, and this, it would be better 0:20:49.480 --> 0:20:51.840 for your business that kind of feedback. So like the 0:20:51.920 --> 0:20:54.639 other stuff, the surface feedback I've already given, but the 0:20:54.680 --> 0:20:57.680 deeper feedback, what say you, Mandra, Is that appriate? 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:01.040 Is it appropriate? I don't know appropriate. I think it's 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:05.119 generous of you. I think it is. Yeah, I'll use 0:21:05.119 --> 0:21:07.760 the word generous because at a time where people are 0:21:07.760 --> 0:21:11.960 so quick to shame people on the internet before they 0:21:12.040 --> 0:21:14.640 give them a chance to respond, you know, and I'm 0:21:14.640 --> 0:21:17.639 talking about Yelp reviews, Google reviews. When you go to 0:21:17.720 --> 0:21:21.160 a restaurant or you you know, get a plumber that 0:21:21.560 --> 0:21:24.399 has poor worksmanship, and instead of going directly to them 0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:26.440 and giving them a chance to make things right, you 0:21:26.840 --> 0:21:30.240 go immediately and blast them on a review platform. I 0:21:30.280 --> 0:21:32.080 think it's very generous of you to give her that 0:21:32.119 --> 0:21:34.919 feedback one to one and very mature. Whether or not 0:21:34.960 --> 0:21:36.720 she receives it is up to her. Whether or not 0:21:36.880 --> 0:21:38.639 she takes it and is gracious about it is up 0:21:38.680 --> 0:21:40.800 to her. That's why I'm like, get your goods first 0:21:41.200 --> 0:21:42.359 and then give the feedback. 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:44.359 So you thinks should you think I should give the 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:45.960 feedback even if she has think you should? 0:21:46.000 --> 0:21:48.399 If you want to do, I think it's your responsibility. No, 0:21:48.720 --> 0:21:52.119 I think that her poor management of her business will 0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:54.959 be the lesson that she needs in terms of, you know, 0:21:55.000 --> 0:21:58.360 whether or not she'll succeed. But that's why I'm saying 0:21:58.359 --> 0:22:03.920 it's generous of you. And I also think that you're 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:05.919 in a position where, I mean, you've talked in the 0:22:05.920 --> 0:22:08.119 show about how you've had your fairy godmothers who have 0:22:08.359 --> 0:22:11.000 given you advice when you didn't ask for it, or 0:22:11.000 --> 0:22:13.679 even when you did ask for it, And you know, 0:22:13.760 --> 0:22:15.520 maybe you could be that for someone else, but they 0:22:15.560 --> 0:22:17.600 need to be ready to receive it. I can't. And 0:22:17.640 --> 0:22:19.960 because you don't know her, you can't speak to her maturity, 0:22:20.000 --> 0:22:22.600 and she may take it as an insult. But if 0:22:22.600 --> 0:22:26.080 she's smart and mature, she will say, Wow, this person 0:22:26.119 --> 0:22:28.879 has poured into me a little bit of knowledge. I 0:22:29.000 --> 0:22:30.720 just don't. I mean, based on the fact that she 0:22:30.720 --> 0:22:34.440 hasn't owned up to her own pens management, I would 0:22:34.960 --> 0:22:36.800 err on this. I kind of feel like, maybe she's 0:22:36.840 --> 0:22:39.880 not so mature, but she's what kind of product is it? 0:22:39.920 --> 0:22:43.080 Like an artistic product or like a numbers and finance 0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:43.879 type of I mean. 0:22:43.760 --> 0:22:46.280 Like artistic, just because I want to keep it light, 0:22:46.359 --> 0:22:48.440 because I feel like enough people follow me that they're. 0:22:48.280 --> 0:22:52.080 Like, what are you know artists who run their own business, 0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:55.720 that's problematic. But I also feel like they're often in 0:22:55.760 --> 0:22:58.400 a position where they want to focus on the art 0:22:58.800 --> 0:23:01.399 and the business side of things. Maybe they don't have 0:23:01.440 --> 0:23:03.880 the resources to handle it. So I think it's very 0:23:03.880 --> 0:23:07.679 generous and nice of you to offer that feedback and 0:23:07.720 --> 0:23:09.640 to not have made a big stink about it so far. 0:23:10.280 --> 0:23:12.840 Yeah, because I guess it's here's the thing. The finished 0:23:12.840 --> 0:23:15.760 product beautiful. That's not the issue. The art itself is amazing, 0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:18.760 but yeah, I just it's like, I'm like, I want 0:23:18.800 --> 0:23:20.760 to see you when this and the thing. It's so crazy. 0:23:20.800 --> 0:23:24.639 People have been asking me about the final artistic, like, 0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:28.960 you know, to be super general, and I can't say, hey, 0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:32.480 go ahead and support because honestly, I'm pretty sure they're 0:23:32.520 --> 0:23:34.560 not going to get their thing in time. It's not 0:23:34.600 --> 0:23:36.840 gonna you know what I mean. I just because a 0:23:36.920 --> 0:23:40.480 number of people have asked and I'm like, oh, well, uh, 0:23:40.520 --> 0:23:42.560 I don't know if this person is taking on other 0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:46.560 commissions or whatever, even though I'm sure that she is, 0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:49.399 you know, because I don't want someone to come to 0:23:49.440 --> 0:23:51.920 be like that Hail Tiffany. I ordered it and it's 0:23:51.920 --> 0:23:54.520 like four months later, and I'm like, you. 0:23:54.480 --> 0:23:57.240 Know, Lisa tust right, would you tell Lisa about their business? 0:23:57.400 --> 0:23:59.920 I would, but with the full disclosure of. 0:24:00.560 --> 0:24:02.200 Yeah, bank on it. 0:24:02.480 --> 0:24:04.880 Yeah, like you'll you'll get it, because I mean, she's 0:24:04.880 --> 0:24:07.280 not dishonest or anything. You'll get it. But if you're 0:24:07.320 --> 0:24:11.040 needing it in the time frame that's been allotted. I mean, 0:24:11.280 --> 0:24:13.760 I'm ninety nine percent sure you're not going to get it, 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:18.080 not even remotely, like months after, you know where. It's 0:24:18.080 --> 0:24:20.320 almost like not ballad anymore if you're needing it for 0:24:20.400 --> 0:24:21.280 specific time frame. 0:24:21.359 --> 0:24:24.960 So at a time. Sorry to interrupt, at a time 0:24:25.040 --> 0:24:28.320 when it feels like people are finally people besides black 0:24:28.359 --> 0:24:31.320 and brown people are looking on for ways that they 0:24:31.320 --> 0:24:35.200 can support black and brown owned businesses, and I've seen 0:24:35.200 --> 0:24:38.520 listicles of all kinds. You know, where can we support 0:24:38.560 --> 0:24:41.640 local business in our neighborhood owned by people of color, 0:24:41.680 --> 0:24:44.879 et cetera. It sucks when you're the It sucks that 0:24:44.880 --> 0:24:46.800 we can't. We don't get a break to be mediocre. 0:24:46.880 --> 0:24:48.719 And I'm glad that you're the one who's who's going 0:24:48.760 --> 0:24:51.520 to be giving her this this feedback, because I guarantee 0:24:51.520 --> 0:24:54.000 you if a white lady and this mom's of whatever, 0:24:54.240 --> 0:24:56.440 you know, I'm in my local Moms of x y 0:24:56.600 --> 0:24:59.280 Z City facebook group because they you know, it's a 0:24:59.320 --> 0:25:01.439 good it's a good way to source recommendations for all 0:25:01.520 --> 0:25:04.080 kinds of stuff. And I know if one of those 0:25:04.440 --> 0:25:08.080 moms goes and works with the black owned bakery for 0:25:08.119 --> 0:25:10.560 the first time and the cake order is messed up, 0:25:10.600 --> 0:25:12.280 they're not going to get the benefit of the doubt 0:25:12.359 --> 0:25:15.919 that you know, a name brand bakery would. And also, 0:25:16.200 --> 0:25:18.399 you know, even if the even if the customer rightfully 0:25:18.520 --> 0:25:20.080 is like I'm probably not going to order a cake 0:25:20.119 --> 0:25:22.600 from that place anymore and I'm just going to order 0:25:22.640 --> 0:25:24.879 from somewhere else, there's so few and far between that 0:25:25.040 --> 0:25:26.960 somewhere else is probably not going to be black owned. 0:25:27.040 --> 0:25:30.240 So it sucks on that end, it really does. But 0:25:30.320 --> 0:25:33.080 at the same time, there's I think you giving her 0:25:33.080 --> 0:25:35.280 the advice is very generous and you should do it. 0:25:35.840 --> 0:25:38.919 Just don't be offended if she's like okay, doesn't respond 0:25:38.960 --> 0:25:42.679 to you, or worse, you know, is very petty about it. 0:25:42.800 --> 0:25:44.400 Yeah, no, you're right, Maybe that's what it is. It's 0:25:44.440 --> 0:25:47.040 just like, just manage my expectation that I'm going to 0:25:47.040 --> 0:25:49.000 give the advice and leave it and be like okay, Well, 0:25:49.000 --> 0:25:51.520 you know, she might be like what or she might 0:25:51.560 --> 0:25:53.440 be like thank you so much. I don't know, like she's, 0:25:53.440 --> 0:25:55.520 like I said, she's been really pleasant and nice. 0:25:55.680 --> 0:25:58.240 Just yeah, she may thank you a couple of years 0:25:58.240 --> 0:26:01.159 from now. Yes, she might be salty for now. Is 0:26:01.200 --> 0:26:02.720 she gonna catch that check? Yes? 0:26:05.280 --> 0:26:10.840 Oh chatoo chair? So anything else for for Buzzworthy. 0:26:11.040 --> 0:26:12.879 I think we can leave it there. Let's take a 0:26:12.920 --> 0:26:46.679 quick break and we will be right back with some questions. 0:26:30.920 --> 0:26:50.000 H And it's time for questions. 0:26:50.040 --> 0:26:53.359 Boys and girls. We love your questions. I love your questions. 0:26:53.400 --> 0:26:56.440 Manja loves your questions. Y'all love your questions. Ask ask, 0:26:56.600 --> 0:26:57.160 ask away. 0:26:57.880 --> 0:27:00.520 Well, this is one of those reunion shows. I feel like, 0:27:00.560 --> 0:27:02.640 you know when you used to watch Ricky Laker, okay, 0:27:03.160 --> 0:27:06.000 and it would be the episode where they'd be catching up. 0:27:05.880 --> 0:27:07.320 With previous show. 0:27:07.720 --> 0:27:10.800 Yes, yes, where are they now? We have because a 0:27:10.800 --> 0:27:13.040 couple of our listeners who we'd answer questions for. I 0:27:13.080 --> 0:27:14.679 love when you guys give us an update. You know, 0:27:14.720 --> 0:27:16.920 did you get our feedback? Did it help, did it hurt? 0:27:16.960 --> 0:27:18.919 Did you miss the show and you did it a 0:27:18.920 --> 0:27:21.960 different way? Follow up with us, especially those of you 0:27:22.000 --> 0:27:26.280 who have you know, really important, big financial choices that 0:27:26.320 --> 0:27:28.399 you're asking us for insights on. So we have a 0:27:28.400 --> 0:27:30.119 couple of let's let's catch up with a couple of 0:27:30.160 --> 0:27:33.040 our listeners. So one of the one of the couple 0:27:33.080 --> 0:27:35.480 that reached out to us. Let's see, So if you 0:27:35.600 --> 0:27:39.640 remember a few shows ago, this woman she reached out. 0:27:39.680 --> 0:27:42.280 She wanted to be anonymous, and she asked, us, you know, 0:27:42.520 --> 0:27:45.639 it's a pandemic right now. I'm up for a job, 0:27:45.880 --> 0:27:49.080 and I know that I'm not being offered the same 0:27:49.200 --> 0:27:51.960 as someone else who's worked there before. Do I have 0:27:52.240 --> 0:27:54.240 is it? Is it okay for me to negotiate essentially? 0:27:54.640 --> 0:27:57.160 And you can guess our answer. It was very emphatically like, yes, 0:27:57.240 --> 0:27:59.640 ask what you're worth. So she reached out last week 0:27:59.640 --> 0:28:01.240 and she said, I just wanted to give y'all an update. 0:28:01.280 --> 0:28:03.719 I was offered the position with more money, and I 0:28:03.760 --> 0:28:07.840 still negotiated. My total raise was ten thousand dollars in 0:28:07.840 --> 0:28:08.920 the middle of a pandemic. 0:28:09.200 --> 0:28:09.960 Can you believe this? 0:28:10.840 --> 0:28:14.040 All these explanation, importance and question marks. I couldn't thank 0:28:14.119 --> 0:28:15.280 y'all more for your advice. 0:28:16.040 --> 0:28:16.560 I love it. 0:28:17.640 --> 0:28:21.359 Congrats to you, honey, because you I mean, if listen, 0:28:22.000 --> 0:28:24.880 a pandemic does I Like we said on the show, 0:28:24.920 --> 0:28:27.080 I get that it makes it harder to recruit. It 0:28:27.080 --> 0:28:29.760 makes it harder for you to feel like, oh, you know, 0:28:29.760 --> 0:28:32.280 they're my only option, there's not much else out there. 0:28:32.320 --> 0:28:35.040 But it goes the other way, honey, like it's hard 0:28:35.040 --> 0:28:37.600 for managers to recruit right now too, because they don't 0:28:37.600 --> 0:28:39.760 have the budgets to recruit and hire a whole new person. 0:28:40.280 --> 0:28:42.760 And this sounds like an internal promotion. It's probably a 0:28:42.800 --> 0:28:44.240 lot easier to give you a raise than it is 0:28:44.240 --> 0:28:46.840 for them to spend time and money going out there 0:28:46.840 --> 0:28:48.520 and recruiting a whole new hire who they're going to 0:28:48.560 --> 0:28:51.480 have to pay a lot more to poach. So I 0:28:51.520 --> 0:28:53.840 think this is fabulous and I'm glad you stub for yourself. 0:28:54.160 --> 0:28:56.800 Yes, that's awesome. I love hearing that. So just there's 0:28:56.800 --> 0:29:00.560 no excuses, you know, if you deliver, you and you're 0:29:00.600 --> 0:29:04.240 able to illustrate the value to deliver. You know, there 0:29:04.320 --> 0:29:07.080 are coins available, but it might not be that particular company, 0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:09.360 but there's somebody has the coins for you, so go 0:29:09.400 --> 0:29:10.720 collect them. They belong to. 0:29:10.680 --> 0:29:14.479 You one thousand percent our next. This isn't someone we 0:29:14.520 --> 0:29:16.880 answered a question for it, but she was really touched 0:29:16.880 --> 0:29:18.640 by Tiffany. You know you shared your story about the 0:29:18.680 --> 0:29:23.160 drama triangle, Yes, oh okay, and drama triangle reminding and 0:29:23.200 --> 0:29:24.240 this is this is. 0:29:24.320 --> 0:29:28.240 The this is the emotional cattern. Yes, that I enter 0:29:28.320 --> 0:29:30.920 into where it's like I'm the rescuer I do all things. 0:29:30.960 --> 0:29:32.880 I do all the things, do all things to where 0:29:32.880 --> 0:29:36.440 I feel overwhelmed for someone, and then I become the victim. 0:29:36.480 --> 0:29:39.400 This person's take advantage, They've taken advantage, and then I 0:29:39.440 --> 0:29:41.320 get to a point where I've had my fill full 0:29:41.320 --> 0:29:43.840 of victimhood, and then I become the persecutor. This person 0:29:43.880 --> 0:29:46.560 is terrible. So I enter into that triangle over and 0:29:46.560 --> 0:29:50.080 over and so many of my relationships, and it's a 0:29:50.160 --> 0:29:53.400 pattern that I have that I'm observing and going to 0:29:53.560 --> 0:29:56.040 break if I want to do and be better. So 0:29:56.080 --> 0:29:56.560 that's all. 0:29:56.960 --> 0:30:00.440 Yeah, beautiful our listener from who send us some on 0:30:00.480 --> 0:30:02.880 the Graham Jaqueline. She says, thank you so much, Tiffany 0:30:02.920 --> 0:30:05.320 for sharing. But the drama triangle. I've been going through 0:30:05.320 --> 0:30:07.400 some issues with the family member for a while. Now 0:30:07.560 --> 0:30:09.600 I've been learning how to set boundaries with her because 0:30:09.600 --> 0:30:11.720 I realized I never have I always said yes to 0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:14.760 this person. Now she's reacting to me negatively because I 0:30:14.800 --> 0:30:17.640 am setting boundaries. I felt bad for doing this at first, 0:30:17.720 --> 0:30:20.040 but now this is a confirmation to be that I 0:30:20.080 --> 0:30:23.120 need to continue setting boundaries like you. I didn't know 0:30:23.160 --> 0:30:24.960 there was a name for it, so thank you. This 0:30:25.000 --> 0:30:26.480 has opened my eyes so much. 0:30:26.840 --> 0:30:30.720 Yeah, that's good. So many. If you find yourself to 0:30:31.000 --> 0:30:32.640 be like you know, let's just say you would describe 0:30:32.680 --> 0:30:36.360 yourself as an overgiver, you know, and you find yourself 0:30:36.600 --> 0:30:39.040 tired all the time or feeling kind of taken advantage of, 0:30:39.080 --> 0:30:41.880 you likely are participating in the drama triangle. So do 0:30:41.960 --> 0:30:43.680 your googles, you know, watch a video on it so 0:30:43.680 --> 0:30:46.920 you could be like, oh, so the key is. I 0:30:46.920 --> 0:30:48.400 actually was talking to one of my friends about it 0:30:48.440 --> 0:30:51.680 today because she wanted to write this whole long letter 0:30:51.760 --> 0:30:54.120 to a cousin of hers because she felt super taken 0:30:54.160 --> 0:30:56.800 advantage of. So I was asking her to give me examples, 0:30:57.160 --> 0:30:59.120 and I said, She's like, well, I let her in 0:30:59.120 --> 0:31:00.719 my dress and my jewelry and this and this and this. 0:31:00.880 --> 0:31:02.280 I said, does she come to your room and take 0:31:02.320 --> 0:31:04.840 it it'? She's like no, I said, so, when she 0:31:04.880 --> 0:31:07.959 didn't give you back her dress, did you lend her 0:31:08.000 --> 0:31:10.320 the necklace? When you lend her the dress, no necklace? 0:31:10.360 --> 0:31:11.720 At a different time, I said, well, when she didn't 0:31:11.720 --> 0:31:13.920 give you back her dress in your necklace, when did 0:31:13.960 --> 0:31:16.640 you lend her the earrings or after that? So is 0:31:16.680 --> 0:31:20.480 she really a taker or just a receiver? Without you 0:31:20.520 --> 0:31:23.000 see what I mean. So I had to really look 0:31:23.040 --> 0:31:25.760 at myself and say, oh, a lot of what I 0:31:25.800 --> 0:31:29.240 am categorizing as this person is taking unless they really 0:31:29.280 --> 0:31:30.960 did come and take these things from me. Because some 0:31:30.960 --> 0:31:33.320 people are are you know, are like that malicious in 0:31:33.400 --> 0:31:36.520 their taking? Or is this person just an endless receiver? 0:31:37.400 --> 0:31:40.200 Because we have people in our lives that are good 0:31:40.200 --> 0:31:43.120 at setting boundaries for themselves. So my husband, although I'm 0:31:43.160 --> 0:31:47.239 an uber giver, he sets a boundary that says, when 0:31:47.280 --> 0:31:50.520 Tiffany gets to hear, I stop her. So that's why 0:31:50.520 --> 0:31:52.840 we have such a great relationship because he is not 0:31:52.920 --> 0:31:55.880 a bottomless pit of receiving. But a lot of people are. 0:31:56.080 --> 0:31:58.600 They're not taking, They're just like, well, Tiffany is an adult. 0:31:59.000 --> 0:32:01.640 If it's too much, she will stop. If she doesn't stop, 0:32:01.680 --> 0:32:04.280 I'll say I'll get taken or I'll keep receiving. So 0:32:04.360 --> 0:32:08.680 it's like, oh, so I'm learning through business coaching AKA 0:32:09.200 --> 0:32:12.720 Like it's like, honestly, it's therapy. Is that not to 0:32:12.960 --> 0:32:15.080 I won if I'm not giving from the light. So 0:32:15.120 --> 0:32:16.720 you can give from the light side or give from 0:32:16.720 --> 0:32:18.760 the shadow side, giving some of the light side of 0:32:18.800 --> 0:32:21.160 when you're really just giving, because giving brings you joy, 0:32:21.320 --> 0:32:23.520 like when I do something for my nieces and my nephew, like, 0:32:23.560 --> 0:32:25.520 oh my gosh, I love doing stuff for them. I'm 0:32:25.520 --> 0:32:28.400 not expecting anything. Giving from the shadow side is giving 0:32:28.760 --> 0:32:32.560 with expectation or giving because you're worried about what that 0:32:32.600 --> 0:32:35.240 person will think or feel. So giving from a place 0:32:35.280 --> 0:32:37.920 of fear, and if you do that enough, you build 0:32:38.000 --> 0:32:40.520 up that resentment and then you become the victim, you 0:32:40.560 --> 0:32:42.479 see what I mean. So I was like, oh, so 0:32:42.520 --> 0:32:45.320 I've actually been learning to say no. I literally have 0:32:45.400 --> 0:32:47.440 a list of like things that people are asking me 0:32:47.480 --> 0:32:50.320 to do, and I'm writing no next to them. So 0:32:50.400 --> 0:32:53.880 i can say no because I do so much, not 0:32:54.040 --> 0:32:56.120 because I actually want to do it, but because I'm 0:32:56.160 --> 0:32:58.680 afraid if I don't, what will they say? What will 0:32:58.720 --> 0:33:03.320 they think? That's not really giving, that's performative niceness. 0:33:03.760 --> 0:33:06.840 And I didn't like that expressionative niceness. 0:33:06.880 --> 0:33:08.400 And actually I just made that up for myself because 0:33:08.440 --> 0:33:10.840 I don't know what my business coach called it, but 0:33:10.920 --> 0:33:12.880 he was like, you're not giving from a place of light. 0:33:12.920 --> 0:33:15.600 That's giving from a place of shadow, Tiffany, And I 0:33:15.760 --> 0:33:19.840 was like, oh, I'm doing what's called what I call 0:33:19.960 --> 0:33:23.479 performative nicest where I strive to be a nice person. 0:33:23.960 --> 0:33:27.719 Well that's not true. I do, but I also strive 0:33:27.840 --> 0:33:31.960 to appeer to be a nice person. You see the distinction, Like, yes, 0:33:32.000 --> 0:33:33.840 I want to be nice, of course, but I'm like, 0:33:33.960 --> 0:33:37.240 I really really want people to think I'm nice, So 0:33:37.400 --> 0:33:40.240 even when I'm not feeling nice, I will act nice 0:33:40.560 --> 0:33:43.040 so people can be pleased with me. And it's a 0:33:43.200 --> 0:33:46.320 habit that I've learned. I mean I can kind of 0:33:46.360 --> 0:33:48.000 like trace it back to like this time in like 0:33:48.280 --> 0:33:50.640 seventh grade, when I just I had no friends, and 0:33:50.640 --> 0:33:50.920 it was. 0:33:50.880 --> 0:33:55.360 A everything is to seventh grade, I mean, you just 0:33:55.360 --> 0:33:56.400 go on back to middle school. 0:33:56.960 --> 0:34:01.400 It was so I learned to be overly pleasing in 0:34:01.400 --> 0:34:04.760 middle school in an effort to make friends. And it worked, Tiffany, 0:34:04.800 --> 0:34:06.520 if you do people's homework, if you help them out, 0:34:06.520 --> 0:34:07.840 if you do this, if you this it, you're funny, 0:34:07.880 --> 0:34:10.080 you're this is all the things. And it was like, 0:34:10.120 --> 0:34:12.400 oh my gosh, I have friends again. And so I 0:34:12.480 --> 0:34:17.080 took that lesson which worked then, and I've continued to 0:34:17.239 --> 0:34:19.760 relive that over and over and over and over again, 0:34:20.000 --> 0:34:22.399 where I'm like, well, it's important that people think you're nice. 0:34:22.400 --> 0:34:24.960 It's important that people are happy with you even if 0:34:25.000 --> 0:34:27.120 you are not wanting to do the thing. They cannot 0:34:27.160 --> 0:34:29.080 know you don't want to do the thing, because then 0:34:29.120 --> 0:34:33.680 they're gonna say Tiffany's not nice, you know. And I'm like, oh, 0:34:33.800 --> 0:34:35.520 and he said, so, what's the worst thing if someone 0:34:35.520 --> 0:34:38.120 thinks that you're not nice? I'm like, I don't know. 0:34:39.320 --> 0:34:41.560 So that's the question I have to answer for myself. 0:34:41.600 --> 0:34:44.319 So most people, if I say I can't do a thing, 0:34:44.360 --> 0:34:47.280 are fine. Most people are like, you know, hey, Mandy, 0:34:47.280 --> 0:34:49.080 can we tape on Tuesday instead of Wednesday? And sure, 0:34:49.760 --> 0:34:51.680 that's most people. There are gonna be a handful of 0:34:51.719 --> 0:34:54.759 people who are gonna be you know what, No, I 0:34:54.760 --> 0:34:57.040 don't know, you know. But the truth is most people 0:34:57.120 --> 0:34:59.800 don't care when I say no, you know, not no, 0:35:00.120 --> 0:35:01.800 like no, but like, oh, you know. Unfortunately I'm not 0:35:01.880 --> 0:35:04.719 able to participate in that. In that webinar, most people 0:35:04.760 --> 0:35:07.080 are like, okay, well thanks for considering. So I'm like, 0:35:07.120 --> 0:35:09.680 this is what you're afraid of the Okay, thanks for considering. 0:35:10.040 --> 0:35:12.239 Like I said, I it's something I'm trying. It's a 0:35:12.239 --> 0:35:15.279 pattern I'm trying to unlearn because I don't want to 0:35:15.320 --> 0:35:19.840 be performative nice because it's a miserable place to be 0:35:19.840 --> 0:35:22.000 because I find myself doing things that I really don't 0:35:22.000 --> 0:35:23.920 want to do because I'm afraid of what you'll think 0:35:23.960 --> 0:35:28.360 of or say, and I want to just be because honestly, 0:35:28.560 --> 0:35:31.719 my regulativity self it's pretty nice. Not I'm not one 0:35:31.800 --> 0:35:34.760 hundred percent nice, but regulativity self is a good eighty 0:35:34.760 --> 0:35:36.880 five percent nice. It's like it's okay for fifteen percent 0:35:36.920 --> 0:35:39.040 to be Like, I don't feel like doing it, even 0:35:39.040 --> 0:35:40.840 if it's a good thing, because that's why I feel guilty. 0:35:40.880 --> 0:35:44.160 They're like, can you come speak to the homeless shelter 0:35:44.360 --> 0:35:47.120 in you know, New Brunswick. And I'm like, oh my gosh, 0:35:47.160 --> 0:35:49.160 I haven't like slept a full eight hours and like 0:35:49.200 --> 0:35:52.000 three weeks I'm tired. And so although do runs for 0:35:52.000 --> 0:35:54.800 homework shelter homeless shelter is a good thing, I actually 0:35:54.840 --> 0:35:56.560 don't want to do it because I for once I 0:35:56.560 --> 0:35:59.040 want to sleep in. But I'll do it because I 0:35:59.080 --> 0:36:02.200 can't say no, I'm a homeless shelter. I'm terrible if 0:36:02.239 --> 0:36:04.680 I don't, and then I get sick the next week 0:36:04.760 --> 0:36:07.640 and then you know, so it's not an easy thing. 0:36:07.719 --> 0:36:10.960 So I just I encourage all of you supergivers to 0:36:11.080 --> 0:36:14.160 really ask yourself, are you just performing your kindness and 0:36:14.200 --> 0:36:16.520 performing your niceness? Are you giving from a place of 0:36:16.560 --> 0:36:20.120 shadow or from a place of light? And you really 0:36:20.160 --> 0:36:23.719 want to make sure that when you are giving, that 0:36:23.719 --> 0:36:28.360 that you're you're getting the return from the give, so 0:36:28.480 --> 0:36:31.880 meaning that like I'm if I'm doing something nice that 0:36:32.080 --> 0:36:35.000 I know, I'm like, my friend was sick, so I 0:36:35.080 --> 0:36:37.360 sent them vitamins, so like, there's this vitamin C that 0:36:37.360 --> 0:36:39.680 I really like, So I sent them vitamins. And so 0:36:39.719 --> 0:36:42.400 my return on that investment and sending them vitamins was 0:36:42.600 --> 0:36:44.880 I knew my friend was going to feel better, so 0:36:45.000 --> 0:36:49.200 if I'm waiting, well, so I didn't need anything. So 0:36:49.239 --> 0:36:51.880 my friend ended up like like cash affing me money, 0:36:52.000 --> 0:36:53.680 and I was like, if you don't keep this money, 0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:55.799 so I sent it back. But if that was the 0:36:55.840 --> 0:36:59.200 reason why I sent the vitamins, so that way they 0:36:59.200 --> 0:37:02.759 can then give me my money back. You know, you're 0:37:02.840 --> 0:37:05.719 looking for like your payout on the back end, and 0:37:05.800 --> 0:37:07.480 you may or may not get it, and that's why 0:37:07.520 --> 0:37:10.360 you feel the sink sense of like being used or 0:37:10.400 --> 0:37:12.520 taking advantage of it. But that's not really true. So 0:37:12.640 --> 0:37:15.680 really giving with the sense of like, the giving itself 0:37:15.880 --> 0:37:18.080 is the gift that I'm leading. That is the return 0:37:18.120 --> 0:37:20.400 on investment, the fact that you're giving in itself. So 0:37:20.680 --> 0:37:22.840 I'm practicing it so for those So this is a 0:37:22.840 --> 0:37:25.400 little exercise that we can all do together. And this 0:37:25.480 --> 0:37:27.480 is what Zion, my business coach, said, So we're not 0:37:27.560 --> 0:37:31.360 changing the pattern right now. We are going to celebrate 0:37:31.400 --> 0:37:35.600 the awareness. So I have been just my regulativity self still, 0:37:35.920 --> 0:37:39.120 but when it happens, I'm saying, hey, you are perfect. 0:37:39.280 --> 0:37:43.480 You are practicing performative niceness aware. Okay. So that's the 0:37:43.520 --> 0:37:46.560 first step. It's just as you're going through to say 0:37:46.600 --> 0:37:48.360 to like put it like a sticky note on it. 0:37:48.400 --> 0:37:52.200 Oh you're doing it again, okay, But to celebrate the awareness, 0:37:52.200 --> 0:37:54.319 not to make yourself feel bad in the awareness. It's 0:37:54.360 --> 0:37:56.719 just we're just that way you can start to notice 0:37:56.719 --> 0:37:58.799 your patterns and then I'll learn what's the next step, 0:37:58.800 --> 0:38:00.480 because I don't know. So right now I'm just being like, oh, 0:38:00.480 --> 0:38:02.319 look at you doing it. Girl. You know you don't 0:38:02.320 --> 0:38:05.240 want to do that, okay, but we're celebrating it. Okay, 0:38:05.280 --> 0:38:07.919 good job, we see you, Tiffany, And. 0:38:07.840 --> 0:38:11.200 So like, yeah, so who boundaries? How do you know 0:38:11.200 --> 0:38:14.880 who your real friends are I just I love a boundary. 0:38:15.800 --> 0:38:17.320 That's what I'm just like, honest, see, I'm and what 0:38:17.440 --> 0:38:21.160 I've noticed Mandy is like you, there are prototype friends 0:38:21.200 --> 0:38:25.520 that I attract to me, and you fit into one 0:38:25.520 --> 0:38:27.920 of the prototypes. So I've got prototype friends who are 0:38:27.960 --> 0:38:30.279 like so I have like myself, like who are super 0:38:30.280 --> 0:38:33.880 super givers? Right, So that's like my husband, but he 0:38:34.120 --> 0:38:37.400 also there's another prototype that he feels and it's you. 0:38:37.840 --> 0:38:40.000 I love friends like you because it's like through you, 0:38:40.080 --> 0:38:42.560 I'm like, look at Mandy just over there saying no 0:38:43.400 --> 0:38:46.160 and like still people like her. How does she manage? 0:38:46.200 --> 0:38:48.120 You know what I mean? Like, I just that's one 0:38:48.160 --> 0:38:49.520 of the things I love about you is that you're 0:38:49.560 --> 0:38:52.160 just like, yeah, no, that's not a fit or you 0:38:52.200 --> 0:38:54.319 know what, it doesn't feel right or you know. I mean, 0:38:55.200 --> 0:38:57.640 I'm terribied of like people being like I Haye, Tiffany. 0:38:58.040 --> 0:38:59.960 I don't know where that comes from, but like I, 0:39:00.520 --> 0:39:03.200 it's so I find myself seeking out. It's almost like 0:39:03.200 --> 0:39:06.319 maybe a through osmosis, I can like get some of 0:39:06.360 --> 0:39:09.480 that mandyism where you're like you're pretty clear on yes 0:39:09.520 --> 0:39:13.080 to this, know to this, unapologetic, like I didn't kick 0:39:13.080 --> 0:39:14.520 your puppy so you'll be. 0:39:14.440 --> 0:39:16.839 Fun or you know that you can tell me what 0:39:16.880 --> 0:39:19.040 it is and I won't. I won't hold you like 0:39:19.120 --> 0:39:22.759 I won't if you set a boundary yourself, I'll be 0:39:22.840 --> 0:39:25.640 cheering you on, or I'll set one for you exactly so. 0:39:26.440 --> 0:39:28.239 But the friends that I have who don't send I 0:39:28.280 --> 0:39:30.399 have found this way because as a person who loves 0:39:30.400 --> 0:39:32.600 a boundary and have done it for my own self preservation. 0:39:32.760 --> 0:39:36.040 Just unknowingly, listen, I'm also in real therapy, not real 0:39:36.160 --> 0:39:37.799 I didn't mean to say that real therapy, like you're 0:39:37.840 --> 0:39:40.400 not in therapy. No, I'm not business therapy. I'm in 0:39:40.480 --> 0:39:44.720 the psychoanalis kind of therapy. But what I have found 0:39:44.800 --> 0:39:47.440 is I was a little insecure about all the boundaries 0:39:47.480 --> 0:39:49.520 I was setting. You know, is it keeping me from 0:39:49.600 --> 0:39:51.799 relationships that I might have? You know, because I leave 0:39:51.880 --> 0:39:54.920 jobs and I'm not the one who has seventeen or 0:39:55.040 --> 0:39:57.319 you know, twenty coworkers that they still catch up with. 0:39:57.400 --> 0:39:59.680 I maybe have one or two. And I've got friends 0:39:59.680 --> 0:40:01.799 of mine from previous jobs who will be friends with 0:40:01.880 --> 0:40:03.839 everyone from the old job and go to all their 0:40:03.840 --> 0:40:06.720 parties and their weddings and YadA YadA. But I realized 0:40:06.760 --> 0:40:09.319 when I talk to that person about the parties or 0:40:09.360 --> 0:40:11.440 they get together as they go to they're never happy 0:40:11.440 --> 0:40:13.160 about it. They're like, oh, I got dragged to this 0:40:13.280 --> 0:40:15.279 day party where they played music, and I just like, 0:40:15.760 --> 0:40:18.680 I'm so tired. And they never seem joyful about the 0:40:18.719 --> 0:40:21.840 interactions they have with those friends. And I think, I 0:40:21.840 --> 0:40:23.879 think you're absolutely right. And I don't have too much 0:40:23.880 --> 0:40:25.560 to add to it other than to say that I 0:40:25.560 --> 0:40:28.200 love a boundary and I one hundred percent feel like, 0:40:28.520 --> 0:40:31.640 just follow what is true to yourself and it will 0:40:31.640 --> 0:40:34.040 be in the right direction and have confidence in that. 0:40:34.080 --> 0:40:36.520 And I've only come to have confidence in my strategy 0:40:36.560 --> 0:40:40.000 for happiness, I would say, in the last couple of years. 0:40:40.560 --> 0:40:42.680 So I love it, and thank you for going back 0:40:42.719 --> 0:40:45.920 into it, because the second time you told this story, 0:40:46.160 --> 0:40:49.600 I'm feeling it more as a mother, that fact that 0:40:49.680 --> 0:40:53.440 I will say, I will put down my work, interrupt 0:40:53.480 --> 0:40:55.680 a conference call that I like I did today, and 0:40:55.719 --> 0:40:58.200 go take the baby so that hus by can have 0:40:58.239 --> 0:41:00.959 a sandwich. Meanwhile I'm glaring at him the whole time 0:41:01.040 --> 0:41:02.920 and turning off my video so I can glare at 0:41:02.960 --> 0:41:06.120 him properly and they don't see me. And then muting 0:41:06.120 --> 0:41:08.120 myself so I can say nasty things to him while 0:41:08.120 --> 0:41:11.680 I'm holding the baby. What if I just said, nah, brah, 0:41:11.840 --> 0:41:13.440 you hold the baby and eat a sandwich at the 0:41:13.440 --> 0:41:16.800 same time, because I do that all the time. Yeah, 0:41:16.840 --> 0:41:20.520 so you set yourself up a failure and that's a stand. 0:41:20.400 --> 0:41:25.680 About why so so what else? What was some other updates? 0:41:25.680 --> 0:41:26.600 Any other updates? 0:41:26.880 --> 0:41:28.799 Well, this is sort of a riff off of so 0:41:29.239 --> 0:41:32.200 on a previous show, Tiffany, you shared an anecdote about 0:41:32.239 --> 0:41:35.400 how you felt like your home when you got it appraised. 0:41:35.440 --> 0:41:37.160 At the time, you were thinking about doing a cash 0:41:37.160 --> 0:41:39.680 out refinance, so you got your home appraised and you 0:41:39.800 --> 0:41:41.759 felt that the appraisal came in lower than with a 0:41:41.800 --> 0:41:44.359 true value the home was and you we talked about 0:41:44.360 --> 0:41:48.040 systemic racism and lending discrimination and how what was the 0:41:48.080 --> 0:41:51.080 statistic that you shared about black homes being appraised? How much? 0:41:51.360 --> 0:41:52.880 On hours about I think it was a New York 0:41:52.920 --> 0:41:55.080 Times said about twenty three percent less. 0:41:55.160 --> 0:41:57.880 Right, and you were proof positive of that. What was 0:41:57.880 --> 0:42:00.280 interesting about your story is you know you were sharing 0:42:00.320 --> 0:42:01.920 it and I'm going to own up to this. I 0:42:02.000 --> 0:42:04.400 was even thinking, Oh, it wasn't that much less like 0:42:04.440 --> 0:42:07.400 what was she really discriminated against, Like this is not 0:42:07.480 --> 0:42:09.160 as strong as my voice was at the time, but 0:42:09.200 --> 0:42:11.960 I had that little niggling doubt in my mind, and 0:42:12.000 --> 0:42:15.680 I think a lot of black and brown people you 0:42:16.360 --> 0:42:19.839 question the reality that you're facing, Like you question what's 0:42:19.880 --> 0:42:23.040 that That's what they call it microaggressions, Like what's that discrimination? 0:42:23.360 --> 0:42:24.480 Am I overreacting? 0:42:24.800 --> 0:42:26.200 I felt like that too. I was like, well, it 0:42:26.239 --> 0:42:28.360 was like ten twenty thousand dollars is it? And honestly, 0:42:28.400 --> 0:42:31.319 I can honestly say I don't know, but I know 0:42:31.520 --> 0:42:34.200 the fact that I have to even consider that it 0:42:34.280 --> 0:42:36.080 is a problem exactly. 0:42:36.160 --> 0:42:38.160 So there was a story that one of our listeners 0:42:38.200 --> 0:42:41.880 actually sent us on Instagram where it was such a 0:42:41.960 --> 0:42:46.560 blatant example of discrimination and appraisal and let me think 0:42:46.560 --> 0:42:48.520 of you, and it made me think, damn it, like 0:42:48.560 --> 0:42:51.200 why did it take this really dramatic story for me 0:42:51.280 --> 0:42:54.400 to take Tiffany's story at face value? And that is 0:42:54.440 --> 0:42:56.759 something that you know, I'm unpacking. But let me just 0:42:56.800 --> 0:42:59.000 read a quick So this is only posted four days 0:42:59.040 --> 0:43:02.400 ago on Facebook and it's been shared twenty three thousand 0:43:02.400 --> 0:43:05.000 times on Facebook. I think it was like ten thousand 0:43:05.000 --> 0:43:07.919 times by the time someone that Instagram follower or shared 0:43:07.920 --> 0:43:10.440 it with us. But this person on Instagram or sorry 0:43:10.440 --> 0:43:13.000 on Facebook, it's a public post for an awswe I'll 0:43:13.000 --> 0:43:16.640 post a link to our show notes. She says, on 0:43:16.680 --> 0:43:18.960 the topic of generation wealth, we needed to get our 0:43:18.960 --> 0:43:22.560 home appraise. The appraiser came by and he was immediately unpleasant, 0:43:22.880 --> 0:43:26.960 making one rude comment after another. He expressed exaggerated surprise 0:43:27.040 --> 0:43:29.480 when he saw me, a woman of color, working at 0:43:29.480 --> 0:43:31.719 my home office during the walkthrough. At the end of it, 0:43:31.760 --> 0:43:33.920 we received an appraisal result that was so low that 0:43:34.000 --> 0:43:37.520 it was laughable. We appraised lower than neighboring home sales 0:43:37.560 --> 0:43:41.440 with fewer bathrooms, fewer bedrooms, significantly lower square footage, and 0:43:41.560 --> 0:43:44.400 half the land. I knew immediately what needed to happen. 0:43:44.800 --> 0:43:48.040 We ordered a second appraisal and took down all family 0:43:48.040 --> 0:43:51.840 photos containing black relatives. We took down all pictures of 0:43:51.920 --> 0:43:55.440 African American grades that we displayed to inspire our son. Zora' 0:43:55.480 --> 0:43:58.600 Neil Hurston and Tony Morrison came down from the bookshelves. 0:43:58.719 --> 0:44:01.360 Shakespeare went up. My son and I took a convenient 0:44:01.400 --> 0:44:05.000 shopping trip during the appraisal, leaving my white male husband 0:44:05.040 --> 0:44:09.080 to show the appraiser around alone, we appraised, Oh, this 0:44:09.160 --> 0:44:12.120 is gonna kill me. We appraised one hundred and sixty 0:44:12.200 --> 0:44:16.520 two thousand dollars higher the second time around, the amount 0:44:16.640 --> 0:44:18.160 of an entire house. 0:44:17.920 --> 0:44:21.120 In some higher freaking house. 0:44:23.520 --> 0:44:25.840 Thanks thank you to this woman for sharing this story. 0:44:26.280 --> 0:44:29.080 And it seems like she's very a huge advocate for 0:44:29.120 --> 0:44:33.720 people of like racism and social justice and all these things. 0:44:34.920 --> 0:44:39.960 She says. Racism silently but conspicuously steals wealth. Racism, waste time, racism, 0:44:40.080 --> 0:44:43.000 racist blood pressure, racism makes me hate myself for my 0:44:43.160 --> 0:44:45.719 calm acceptance of what I had to do and have 0:44:45.960 --> 0:44:50.560 always had to achieve a fair results from a place 0:44:50.600 --> 0:44:53.320 of anguish to sort through my emotions. I want better 0:44:53.320 --> 0:44:53.839 for my son. 0:44:54.719 --> 0:44:58.359 That's the fact that I was like, oh, you know what, 0:44:58.840 --> 0:45:00.319 you know, when I do a good appraisal in this house, 0:45:00.320 --> 0:45:02.319 I'm gonna get Katherine to come. You know, Cautin's white, 0:45:02.400 --> 0:45:02.919 she's super white. 0:45:03.080 --> 0:45:04.520 Your friend, you had it all playing. 0:45:05.200 --> 0:45:09.239 The fact that calm acceptance of this is just what 0:45:09.280 --> 0:45:10.920 you have to do. Tiffany. Don't touch things in the 0:45:10.960 --> 0:45:12.799 store that you're not gonna buy. I can freaking buy 0:45:12.800 --> 0:45:15.400 this store, but don't you touch anything because you just 0:45:15.440 --> 0:45:19.880 want any trouble, you know, like accept poor behavior. Except 0:45:19.960 --> 0:45:23.080 I just that's the part that it's so like I said, 0:45:23.120 --> 0:45:24.759 it's like that abusive. This is what I mentioned in 0:45:24.760 --> 0:45:26.640 the in the in the Race and Money rant on 0:45:26.680 --> 0:45:30.520 ig and my ig TV post is where I was 0:45:30.600 --> 0:45:33.480 just like it truly is an abusive relationship with America 0:45:33.560 --> 0:45:36.520 that you get punched and hit and hair pulled so 0:45:36.800 --> 0:45:41.359 often that you've learned to accept the abuse even though, 0:45:41.360 --> 0:45:43.799 like you know it's not right, but you've learned how 0:45:43.840 --> 0:45:46.799 to manage through the abuse until one day you're out 0:45:46.840 --> 0:45:48.960 of the shower and you walk by a window and 0:45:49.000 --> 0:45:52.120 you see your body full of bruises, some old, some new, 0:45:53.040 --> 0:45:56.200 and you're just like, what the entire hell? And it's 0:45:56.239 --> 0:45:58.719 times like this that make you say that, and then 0:45:58.760 --> 0:46:01.279 you you have to you start to replay all of 0:46:01.320 --> 0:46:04.880 this abuse that you've that you've like lived through, and 0:46:04.920 --> 0:46:07.879 you're just like, well, what do I do with this? 0:46:08.320 --> 0:46:10.759 I'm minus the abusive relationship. I don't know where else 0:46:10.800 --> 0:46:14.759 to go? I know this is wrong? What do I do? 0:46:14.880 --> 0:46:17.040 And that's why you see some people raging and some 0:46:17.040 --> 0:46:20.799 people rioted, some people you know, protested peacefully. But that's 0:46:20.800 --> 0:46:23.760 why you see, it's because we walk by the mirror 0:46:24.120 --> 0:46:27.680 and we're seeing the bruises old and new, and we 0:46:27.800 --> 0:46:30.040 know that there are more bruises to come, and we've 0:46:30.080 --> 0:46:33.680 had enough. And it's just look to you to your point, 0:46:33.680 --> 0:46:35.680 manny where I'm even questioning myself. Will take now you 0:46:35.680 --> 0:46:38.720 buck and girl, because maybe you know what's ten twenty 0:46:38.719 --> 0:46:42.160 thousand dollars? I'm sorry, what's ten twenty thousand dollars? Does 0:46:42.200 --> 0:46:44.759 anyone else have to say that? You know the fact 0:46:44.760 --> 0:46:48.240 that my my realtor was like, that's your that's your 0:46:48.719 --> 0:46:52.040 your your homeowners insurance your house and praises for about 0:46:52.080 --> 0:46:54.040 four hundred thousand minus one point too. We pay the 0:46:54.160 --> 0:47:00.040 same amount in home owner's insurance. He was shocked you 0:47:00.120 --> 0:47:04.120 had the same exact homeowners insurance company. And I had 0:47:04.120 --> 0:47:06.760 a woman in my comments say, well, as an insurance company, 0:47:06.760 --> 0:47:11.360 it's because shut up, ma'am. It's not reasonable that my house, 0:47:11.400 --> 0:47:13.880 which is worth one third his house, should be I 0:47:13.880 --> 0:47:17.480 should be paying insurance at such a high rate in comparison. 0:47:17.719 --> 0:47:20.239 Shut the entire hell up. That is wealth lost to 0:47:20.320 --> 0:47:23.200 my family from the house being a praise for less, 0:47:23.320 --> 0:47:26.520 from paying more to homeowner's insurance to being paid less 0:47:26.560 --> 0:47:28.880 as a black woman. So you add all those things up, 0:47:28.920 --> 0:47:30.319 and then you're like, if black people would just only 0:47:30.320 --> 0:47:32.680 work harder, wouldn't be a wealth gob Shut the entire 0:47:32.719 --> 0:47:35.400 hell up. I'm supposed to outwork racism. 0:47:35.760 --> 0:47:39.600 How You're right, you know you're Tiffany, and I'm complicit 0:47:40.000 --> 0:47:43.759 because I kept it moving like. Your story made me 0:47:43.800 --> 0:47:47.880 think about some uncomfortable things about my homeowner, my home purchase, 0:47:48.440 --> 0:47:50.759 and the fact that I purchased her from a black homeowner, 0:47:50.880 --> 0:47:53.319 a black couple, and I knew they were black because 0:47:53.360 --> 0:47:55.680 they didn't they did not take down any of the 0:47:55.800 --> 0:47:58.359 artifacts around the house that let me mean they had 0:47:58.360 --> 0:48:02.880 a black black but black figurines as their salt and 0:48:02.920 --> 0:48:07.720 pepper shakers and pictures of his name is Ed, the 0:48:07.760 --> 0:48:11.719 previous homeowner. You know, his his pictures from the Vietnam War, 0:48:11.760 --> 0:48:13.440 his military pictures. I forget if he was in the 0:48:13.560 --> 0:48:16.680 army or what, but he's a veteran and I, honestly, 0:48:17.280 --> 0:48:20.759 I reacted so warmly to that, to those photos and 0:48:20.760 --> 0:48:22.200 to the fact that we were buying it from a 0:48:22.239 --> 0:48:25.360 beautiful black couple whose love was so apparent in their home. 0:48:25.920 --> 0:48:29.560 But not everyone is like that. I get that and 0:48:31.200 --> 0:48:33.759 part of me is like, hell, yeah, Rosemary need thanks 0:48:33.760 --> 0:48:36.440 for not hiding your identity. But would they have gotten 0:48:36.480 --> 0:48:39.440 more offers on the home? Would they you know, have 0:48:39.560 --> 0:48:43.440 gotten a would their house have appraised for more? Because 0:48:43.480 --> 0:48:45.520 the appraisal came in a little bit lower than what 0:48:45.560 --> 0:48:47.640 their asking price was and we took advantage of that 0:48:47.719 --> 0:48:49.440 and got the house for like I think it was 0:48:49.440 --> 0:48:54.240 maybe five or ten k cheaper. But was it because 0:48:54.239 --> 0:48:56.480 of their race? Because the neighborhood we're in is not 0:48:57.080 --> 0:48:59.680 majority white, because there are you know, there is a 0:48:59.680 --> 0:49:02.440 good presentation of minorities, and because they're very clearly a 0:49:02.440 --> 0:49:04.360 black couple. If you come into their home and you 0:49:04.360 --> 0:49:07.839 bother to look around, you can see those signs. Yeah, 0:49:07.840 --> 0:49:09.960 and you're storting me a little bit uncomfortable and it 0:49:10.560 --> 0:49:12.680 but I didn't want to see it, and I think 0:49:13.560 --> 0:49:17.880 even a black woman like me I will. It's like 0:49:17.920 --> 0:49:19.960 you said, we have these moments in our life and 0:49:20.000 --> 0:49:22.960 sometimes to keep moving to keep our good mood going, 0:49:23.520 --> 0:49:26.680 to just keep you know, trying to believe that you 0:49:26.840 --> 0:49:30.200 have possibility in this country that things can work out 0:49:30.239 --> 0:49:32.840 for you because you're different, because you're smarter and you're educated, 0:49:32.840 --> 0:49:35.640 et cetera. You don't want to hear it, and I 0:49:35.840 --> 0:49:38.000 so I'm sorry for even not hearing it. But I 0:49:38.000 --> 0:49:41.120 acknowledge that. 0:49:39.880 --> 0:49:41.759 That there is a black tax. There is a. 0:49:41.719 --> 0:49:45.319 Black tax, one hundred percent. I'm not and I'm not 0:49:46.400 --> 0:49:47.759 immune from it either, No one is. 0:49:48.080 --> 0:49:51.279 Yeah, it's just like it's just sometimes it's just because 0:49:51.320 --> 0:49:53.000 you're just like you don't want to be the reason 0:49:53.040 --> 0:49:54.560 why you kind of like, you know, you let it 0:49:54.640 --> 0:49:56.879 roll because you want to be hopeless. You don't want 0:49:56.920 --> 0:50:00.000 to tell you there's no because then what's the alternative, 0:50:00.280 --> 0:50:02.319 the alternative to say there's nothing I could do about it. 0:50:02.360 --> 0:50:04.239 Guess life is just harder for me no matter what, Like, 0:50:04.440 --> 0:50:07.160 what's the alternative? You know, this is why you have, 0:50:07.760 --> 0:50:11.759 you know, slaves singing spirituals in cotton fields, because what 0:50:11.840 --> 0:50:13.960 is the alternative? Do I just lay down and die 0:50:14.000 --> 0:50:16.920 here or do I hold onto some hope in the future. 0:50:17.600 --> 0:50:20.279 You know, resilience is an act of survival. 0:50:20.440 --> 0:50:24.200 Yeah, what is the purpose? Like you know, we just yeah, 0:50:24.320 --> 0:50:26.040 it's like I said, it's hard and hope. 0:50:26.080 --> 0:50:29.239 I mean, well, one of the really useless time, I 0:50:29.280 --> 0:50:31.200 was reading some of the comments she got, and they're like, oh, 0:50:31.239 --> 0:50:33.600 you should report this to the CFPP or the FTC. 0:50:34.239 --> 0:50:37.719 I am really tired of people putting the onus on 0:50:37.880 --> 0:50:42.680 the victim to report certain behaviors. I get how I mean, 0:50:42.920 --> 0:50:44.960 I get how people are trying to be helpful, but 0:50:45.040 --> 0:50:48.600 I think it is upon us to hold our representatives 0:50:49.120 --> 0:50:52.040 in our states and our local governments and yes on 0:50:52.080 --> 0:50:56.480 Capitol Hill responsible for holding the banks responsible, the lenders, 0:50:56.520 --> 0:51:00.600 the bad actors, because they have the power. They wrote 0:51:00.320 --> 0:51:04.840 the law that enacted institutions like the Federal Trade Commission, 0:51:04.880 --> 0:51:08.720 like the Consumer Financial Protection the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. 0:51:08.800 --> 0:51:12.200 Let me say the entire name of that organization, which 0:51:12.239 --> 0:51:15.800 has been systematically dtoothed. Is that the word like d toothed, 0:51:17.840 --> 0:51:21.920 I don't know, ripped apart? Yeah, thanks, I did have 0:51:21.960 --> 0:51:24.960 a big glass of white wine and no dinner, just 0:51:25.040 --> 0:51:27.799 you know, being transparent. Over the past few years, since 0:51:27.840 --> 0:51:33.200 Trump was elected, they have completely cut the CFPB down 0:51:33.239 --> 0:51:36.280 at the knees, which was an institution that Elizabeth Warren 0:51:36.320 --> 0:51:41.640 herself spearheaded during the Obama administration. Anyway, like, these institutions 0:51:41.680 --> 0:51:43.799 should be the ones that are fighting for us, and 0:51:43.840 --> 0:51:46.680 you need to contact your local representatives and tell them 0:51:46.680 --> 0:51:49.080 your stories because they're the ones who are being paid 0:51:49.400 --> 0:51:52.319 by our tax dollars, by the way, to defend us. 0:51:52.400 --> 0:51:54.520 And it is not our job to. It is not 0:51:54.680 --> 0:51:57.680 our job to. Unfortunately it has become our job to 0:51:57.760 --> 0:51:59.560 fight and get in the streets and get mad and 0:51:59.560 --> 0:52:02.200 get last. But they should be held accountable and we 0:52:02.200 --> 0:52:05.000 need to vote with these issues in mind. What are 0:52:05.040 --> 0:52:10.960 you doing to promote black homeownership and fair lending practices 0:52:11.040 --> 0:52:14.440 for black and brown homeowners or home purchasers? Like what 0:52:14.480 --> 0:52:16.200 are you doing for us? We need to ask these 0:52:16.280 --> 0:52:19.880 questions and be cognizant of the power that they hold. 0:52:20.000 --> 0:52:23.880 Honestly, if I was like some tech genius engineer, I 0:52:23.920 --> 0:52:26.760 would create like some sort of like appraisal gun. 0:52:27.280 --> 0:52:30.120 We're not going to blind appraisal, yes. 0:52:29.880 --> 0:52:31.759 Exactly where it's like you know how like when you 0:52:31.840 --> 0:52:33.960 go to a store, Like if you've ever bought anything 0:52:34.040 --> 0:52:36.719 for someone who's like, oh, I'm registered at Target and 0:52:36.760 --> 0:52:39.319 they give you like the that like you like, you know, 0:52:39.360 --> 0:52:40.839 scan all the things that you want to be on 0:52:40.880 --> 0:52:44.279 your thing. So imagine that you could literally scan your 0:52:44.280 --> 0:52:46.520 home because I've seen this, like when people do virtual tours, 0:52:46.560 --> 0:52:49.160 it's because they're doing this like scanner thing. You know, 0:52:49.280 --> 0:52:51.839 you can scan your home you put all these things in, 0:52:51.880 --> 0:52:54.040 like how many bedroom, bathrooms all that, and it just 0:52:54.080 --> 0:52:58.040 goes into a machine and it says, this is the appraisal, 0:52:58.120 --> 0:53:01.040 and the machine pulls based upon square footage and this 0:53:01.080 --> 0:53:04.680 and that. It pulls the comps based upon the actual facts, 0:53:04.920 --> 0:53:08.000 not who freaking lives here, not the color of your skin. 0:53:08.120 --> 0:53:10.399 They're like, you know, you're their appraisal. Gun, it's taking 0:53:10.440 --> 0:53:12.400 do do do do? Okay, this is this is how 0:53:12.440 --> 0:53:13.719 big the house is, this is all the things, this 0:53:13.719 --> 0:53:15.719 is what other house is sold for. This is how 0:53:15.800 --> 0:53:19.160 much you know, It's like what I do with fair 0:53:19.239 --> 0:53:23.080 pay for for the for my staff. Right, So we 0:53:23.160 --> 0:53:25.920 have a short a chart with you know, you know 0:53:25.960 --> 0:53:27.960 what color you are. You know what color you are 0:53:28.000 --> 0:53:30.919 based upon how many responsibilities you have. But you also 0:53:30.920 --> 0:53:32.960 know because we tell you your personal color. So no one 0:53:32.960 --> 0:53:36.120 knows your color, but everyone knows all the pay They're like, oh, 0:53:36.160 --> 0:53:39.799 purple makes between thirty and sixty oh or pink makes 0:53:39.800 --> 0:53:42.719 between you know, sixty and one hundred, and so you 0:53:42.840 --> 0:53:46.520 fall within that range based upon your color, the color 0:53:46.560 --> 0:53:49.720 that you are, based upon the responsibilities that you hold, 0:53:50.000 --> 0:53:52.360 and basically how long you've been here. And there are 0:53:52.400 --> 0:53:54.480 bonuses that we give you know, based upon like you 0:53:54.520 --> 0:53:57.240 know your how well that you do. But it leads 0:53:57.280 --> 0:53:59.960 so it's like you're not wondering, well, it's the guy 0:54:00.160 --> 0:54:02.560 getting paid more. It's like if he's blue, he's getting 0:54:02.560 --> 0:54:05.160 paid blue, you know, and. 0:54:05.360 --> 0:54:08.920 Said, you tell people, yeah, you make it transparent. And 0:54:08.960 --> 0:54:11.480 as a business owner and I myself as a hiring manager, 0:54:11.520 --> 0:54:14.000 have many times said, why are we gonna make this 0:54:14.040 --> 0:54:16.200 person negotiate? Why don't we just give them more, best 0:54:16.200 --> 0:54:18.240 and final? Why do we need to put the onus 0:54:18.280 --> 0:54:21.239 on them to like what we have the power? We 0:54:21.360 --> 0:54:23.640 are the ones with the advantage here. Why are we 0:54:23.840 --> 0:54:28.160 pretending like it is really important for this person to 0:54:28.440 --> 0:54:30.920 figure out what they can get from us. Let's just 0:54:30.960 --> 0:54:34.080 cut the bullshit and ask people for like, give them 0:54:34.080 --> 0:54:36.520 an offer for what they're worth and be firm in that. 0:54:37.040 --> 0:54:39.520 Like it drives me nuts. That's how I act as 0:54:39.560 --> 0:54:41.319 a hiring manager, and that is one of the things 0:54:41.320 --> 0:54:44.520 that I'm really pushing my company to change because I'm 0:54:44.640 --> 0:54:46.360 like that as a hiring manager because I know what 0:54:46.360 --> 0:54:47.640 it's like to be on the other side as a 0:54:47.640 --> 0:54:50.080 woman of color and to not know anything about what 0:54:50.120 --> 0:54:52.799 I'm asking for, what I'm worth because I don't have 0:54:52.840 --> 0:54:54.560 the friends and family who can tell me and help 0:54:54.560 --> 0:54:58.600 me out. But I'm unique. I genuinely feel that in 0:54:58.640 --> 0:55:00.839 the company and other people should be trained and how 0:55:00.880 --> 0:55:02.560 to do that, and we should. It shouldn't be that hard. 0:55:02.560 --> 0:55:05.719 And I'm fucking tired. I saw a Twitter throw from 0:55:05.760 --> 0:55:07.480 one of my writers about a previous job that she 0:55:07.600 --> 0:55:09.919 had and how she felt like it was her fault 0:55:09.960 --> 0:55:12.399 for not asking for more. No, it's not, it's not. 0:55:12.640 --> 0:55:14.920 It is on us. The people with power should be 0:55:14.920 --> 0:55:19.160 the ones not abusing it, but using it to create 0:55:19.200 --> 0:55:22.799 the equality that people deserve. It's on us. If I 0:55:22.840 --> 0:55:26.920 see one more article about how women should negotiate better 0:55:27.160 --> 0:55:29.200 and how women should learn how to ask for X 0:55:29.320 --> 0:55:31.319 y Z, or how you as a black person, can 0:55:31.680 --> 0:55:34.920 you know just just you know, fade yourself a little 0:55:34.920 --> 0:55:38.720 bit to get a higher salary. You know, hydra LinkedIn picture, 0:55:39.000 --> 0:55:42.319 you know, hydro Airbnb photo, You'll get a higher rate 0:55:42.400 --> 0:55:43.480 for your Like, this is. 0:55:43.520 --> 0:55:45.640 Bullshit, it is, but that's what she Do you think 0:55:45.640 --> 0:55:47.640 I didn't hide my IBMB photo. Of course I always 0:55:47.680 --> 0:55:49.640 hide my freaking I put like an airplane there when 0:55:49.680 --> 0:55:52.399 I'm looking for a place, which is crazy, but it's 0:55:52.440 --> 0:55:54.799 just like, Okay, that's just what you have to do. 0:55:55.560 --> 0:55:57.759 Like yeah, so it can't be that way. It's on 0:55:57.840 --> 0:56:01.239 companies and it's on us to hold them accountable. And yes, 0:56:01.320 --> 0:56:04.239 I'm as tired as anybody holding these companies just like 0:56:04.320 --> 0:56:07.120 getting them convinced to do the right damn thing. And 0:56:07.160 --> 0:56:09.680 we have got to again. I think it's very important 0:56:09.680 --> 0:56:12.560 for people like Tiffany myself. Eventually in the future, I 0:56:12.560 --> 0:56:15.600 imagine myself starting something on my own and to change 0:56:15.640 --> 0:56:18.719 the way businesses operate and operate from this place from 0:56:18.760 --> 0:56:21.440 the beginning, so we don't have to just go and 0:56:21.560 --> 0:56:23.640 learn it later when all of a sudden someone calls 0:56:23.680 --> 0:56:26.400 us out and we get embarrassed. This has to be 0:56:26.440 --> 0:56:29.000 the new norm, one hundred percent. You guys got to vote. 0:56:29.000 --> 0:56:32.000 You got to contact your legislators. They check their email. 0:56:32.040 --> 0:56:35.120 You got to contact them, call them, ask the questions, 0:56:35.520 --> 0:56:39.480 share your stories with them. It's not time. Now is 0:56:39.520 --> 0:56:41.879 the time? Now is the momentum is behind us. We've 0:56:41.880 --> 0:56:43.759 got to share these stories. And I'm so glad this 0:56:43.800 --> 0:56:46.239 woman has. I don't know how her story ended, but 0:56:46.320 --> 0:56:48.879 as far as I'm concerned, she has nothing to do. 0:56:49.440 --> 0:56:53.440 She needs to share her story with her local representatives, 0:56:53.880 --> 0:56:56.360 and like she did on Facebook, it's getting the story 0:56:56.360 --> 0:56:59.279 out there. Now it's on us who have seen her 0:56:59.280 --> 0:57:02.040 story to amplify her voice and for people in power 0:57:02.160 --> 0:57:04.799 to do something about it. Not her. She did the 0:57:04.840 --> 0:57:08.160 right thing to do. She got a second opinion, and 0:57:08.760 --> 0:57:10.520 that is what you can do. That's in your power. 0:57:10.600 --> 0:57:13.440 Your power as a consumer in this system for the 0:57:13.480 --> 0:57:16.240 time being, is to get second I mean, unfortunately it 0:57:16.280 --> 0:57:19.760 costs extra money to get another appraisal, but get multiple appraisals, 0:57:19.800 --> 0:57:24.480 get multiple loan office loan offers, make people negotiate, make 0:57:24.520 --> 0:57:27.040 them compete for your business. That's what you have in 0:57:27.080 --> 0:57:32.240 your control. Who Okay, that cause of mine was very 0:57:32.280 --> 0:57:34.320 I should have had some dinner before I sat down. 0:57:34.360 --> 0:57:36.240 But that's all good, all right. Thank you so much 0:57:36.640 --> 0:57:38.480 to our listeners who followed up with us. If you 0:57:38.520 --> 0:57:40.480 have a question that you've answered that we've answered on 0:57:40.520 --> 0:57:42.400 the show and you have a follow up, send us 0:57:42.440 --> 0:57:44.360 to send them to us. And also you can send 0:57:44.400 --> 0:57:48.320 us your questions at Brandanbispodcast at gmail dot com or 0:57:48.400 --> 0:57:50.520 hit us up on the gram. We are at brandonbis 0:57:50.720 --> 0:57:54.000 podcast on Instagram. 0:57:56.560 --> 0:58:00.160 Now it's time for the good things it's time for well, 0:58:00.200 --> 0:58:04.800 it depends it's for boosts or break, so you can 0:58:04.840 --> 0:58:07.080 already tell what I'm just gonna do because I've had enough. 0:58:07.280 --> 0:58:08.880 Are you gonna have boost or are you gonna have 0:58:08.920 --> 0:58:12.400 baked Mandra bake? I know break. I was hoping it would. 0:58:12.480 --> 0:58:13.600 You know it's gonna slip on through. 0:58:13.640 --> 0:58:16.479 But no, it's fair because I did bake the best 0:58:16.560 --> 0:58:19.200 chocolate chip cookies all my life. 0:58:19.320 --> 0:58:20.760 I love chocot cookies. 0:58:21.120 --> 0:58:23.520 Listen, Tiffany, I wish you know what can we do 0:58:23.600 --> 0:58:26.160 like a socially distanced, like you know, cookie exchange. I'll 0:58:26.200 --> 0:58:27.720 just like we do a drive by. I'll throw them 0:58:27.760 --> 0:58:28.160 in your car. 0:58:28.320 --> 0:58:29.440 Oh my gosh, I would have loved that. 0:58:29.800 --> 0:58:32.480 It's so good. But here's my life hack is that 0:58:32.520 --> 0:58:35.320 I did not bake them all because my Peloton's coming 0:58:35.320 --> 0:58:36.760 in a few weeks and I'm trying to get ready 0:58:36.800 --> 0:58:40.120 for her. Okay, but listen, I froze them. I rolled 0:58:40.160 --> 0:58:42.000 them into balls and I froze them, and then we 0:58:42.000 --> 0:58:44.840 can just bake a few a day. And I didn't 0:58:44.880 --> 0:58:45.840 bake fifty cookies. 0:58:45.880 --> 0:58:46.480 But they're so good. 0:58:46.520 --> 0:58:48.000 I'm gonna send you the recipe. 0:58:47.960 --> 0:58:50.000 Yes please, because honestly, I love chocolate cookies. And I 0:58:50.040 --> 0:58:52.000 have to say I've been doing intermittent fasting and I've 0:58:52.080 --> 0:58:56.200 lost like seven pounds. So I'm proud of myself because 0:58:56.760 --> 0:58:59.800 a low key, high key a show is coming and 0:59:00.000 --> 0:59:02.720 and I'm like, Cis cannot be dragging that wagon all over. 0:59:02.680 --> 0:59:05.880 But you're having wait a show, the Budgeties show is happening. 0:59:06.320 --> 0:59:09.320 Well, well, when I say you, so many production companies 0:59:09.360 --> 0:59:10.400 have been in my inbox. 0:59:10.160 --> 0:59:12.000 Yeah, I know. That's why I'm like, is it finally happening? 0:59:12.320 --> 0:59:15.280 Yeah, I would say, I mean, well, I'm speaking into 0:59:15.320 --> 0:59:18.280 existence when like I literally there's like, okay, there's one 0:59:18.320 --> 0:59:20.320 production company that I think I really like more than 0:59:20.320 --> 0:59:22.240 the others. And so we're really just talking about, Okay, 0:59:22.240 --> 0:59:23.080 what are next steps? 0:59:23.960 --> 0:59:26.800 There are so many trash reality shows on Netflix right now. 0:59:26.880 --> 0:59:28.760 Netflix got some money to burn. They better do the 0:59:28.760 --> 0:59:31.400 Tiffany show. They're better do it real quick because the 0:59:31.440 --> 0:59:34.360 Flora's Lava is highly entertaining. But like, am I being 0:59:34.840 --> 0:59:37.680 into as a person not gonna lie? 0:59:38.000 --> 0:59:40.120 I was like, how did they know my childhood? When 0:59:40.120 --> 0:59:41.120 I saw the Flora's lav. 0:59:41.040 --> 0:59:42.320 Wait, you watched you watch DV? 0:59:42.480 --> 0:59:44.440 Why do you? Oh? No, no, I saw the like 0:59:44.480 --> 0:59:46.400 you know, I saw the Little Whatever preview when I 0:59:46.440 --> 0:59:48.000 was like, I was looking at Netflix. I was like, oh, 0:59:48.000 --> 0:59:49.560 I should watch something to make me fall asleep. 0:59:49.720 --> 0:59:52.600 I can see you Superman and Supergirl being one of 0:59:52.600 --> 0:59:56.600 the families who competes one hundred thousand percent. Yeah, Tiffany, 0:59:56.600 --> 0:59:56.919 you need. 0:59:56.920 --> 0:59:58.880 So I need to break my teeth and be like. 0:59:59.640 --> 1:00:01.920 People get legitimately hurt and I don't know how they 1:00:01.920 --> 1:00:02.680 walk out of there, but. 1:00:03.200 --> 1:00:04.160 It's all hard things. 1:00:04.200 --> 1:00:08.200 I was like, amazing entertainment and Netflix clearly has some 1:00:08.200 --> 1:00:10.320 money to burn if they're making this shit Netflix. 1:00:10.360 --> 1:00:13.200 Both of mu Saint John, the new CMO of Netflix 1:00:13.320 --> 1:00:16.040 Chief Marketing Officer, my girl bowse. 1:00:16.160 --> 1:00:19.040 Yes like all her on stuff. So I thought she 1:00:19.200 --> 1:00:20.840 was like, I don't even know what I thought job 1:00:20.920 --> 1:00:22.440 she had. I thought she was just famous for being 1:00:22.440 --> 1:00:25.880 fabulous and smart, and then she got a job at Netflix. Fabulous. 1:00:25.920 --> 1:00:28.440 Yeah. Before that, she was with Endeavor, which is like 1:00:28.520 --> 1:00:30.960 this big management company, like they managed all of She 1:00:31.040 --> 1:00:32.760 was the CMO there, so they manage all of the 1:00:33.200 --> 1:00:35.880 all the huge celebrities. And then before that she's worked 1:00:35.880 --> 1:00:40.000 at Uber, She's worked at Apple and Papa John's. I 1:00:40.000 --> 1:00:42.720 think she consulted so Bose knew to this. She is 1:00:42.760 --> 1:00:45.440 what shree to this. So that's like my pre my 1:00:45.520 --> 1:00:51.040 pre boost, but my real boost is for sir Kaepernick. 1:00:51.400 --> 1:00:56.680 Colin if you're nasty, mister Kaepernick, if you're nasty, Yeah, 1:00:56.840 --> 1:00:59.560 trying to get you. If you're not familiar with mister Kaepernick. 1:01:00.200 --> 1:01:04.840 He is the gentleman that kneeled all throughout the like 1:01:04.880 --> 1:01:07.160 I think it was like twenty nineteen and maybe even 1:01:07.200 --> 1:01:14.439 twenty eighteen, like the NFL eight earlier seventeen, Yes, during 1:01:14.440 --> 1:01:17.840 the NFL season, and as a result lost his ability 1:01:17.880 --> 1:01:19.960 to play professional football. I mean he but he started 1:01:20.000 --> 1:01:23.520 a whole movement and he was like, you know what, 1:01:23.680 --> 1:01:25.520 you know who doesn't care? Not me, Not that he 1:01:25.520 --> 1:01:28.080 didn't care because he loves football, but he was like, 1:01:28.160 --> 1:01:32.520 this means more. He was kneeling to protest police brutality 1:01:32.560 --> 1:01:34.720 against black people, and they turned into this whole disrespect 1:01:34.760 --> 1:01:37.080 of the flag and other bs said it wasn't but 1:01:37.280 --> 1:01:41.000 as racists are apt to do. Since then, the NFL 1:01:41.040 --> 1:01:44.080 admitted like we were wrong, because you know, black lives 1:01:44.080 --> 1:01:45.760 matter right now is cute, so you know they want 1:01:45.760 --> 1:01:46.400 to get in line with it. 1:01:46.560 --> 1:01:51.120 Several years later, I will say people excommunicated Colin. He 1:01:51.280 --> 1:01:54.920 was blacklisted, like literally, he lost his spot on his team. 1:01:55.400 --> 1:01:58.800 He was blue ball. Blue ball. No, that's not the 1:01:58.840 --> 1:02:02.880 expression black ball. This is a bad analogy. He was good, 1:02:03.160 --> 1:02:05.960 it was cut out. Yes, yes, no one wanted him. 1:02:06.000 --> 1:02:08.000 He was toxic, No one wanted to touch him. 1:02:08.120 --> 1:02:08.400 Yes. 1:02:08.600 --> 1:02:10.800 For three to four years later, now he's having the 1:02:10.880 --> 1:02:11.400 last last. 1:02:11.480 --> 1:02:13.640 What I tell you what I loved about Colin is 1:02:13.640 --> 1:02:17.440 despite all that, he was unwavering in his say what 1:02:17.520 --> 1:02:21.000 you want. Black people need to be heard and so 1:02:21.000 --> 1:02:24.040 so he just posted I'm excited to announce this historic 1:02:24.120 --> 1:02:27.760 partnership with Disney across all of its platforms to elevate 1:02:27.800 --> 1:02:31.560 black and brown directors, creators, storytellers, and producers, and to 1:02:31.600 --> 1:02:35.440 inspire the youth with compelling and authentic perspectives. I look 1:02:35.480 --> 1:02:38.520 forward to sharing the docuseries on my life story in 1:02:38.560 --> 1:02:42.480 addition to so many other cultural impactful projects we're developing. 1:02:42.600 --> 1:02:45.240 So he has a development deal with Disney to develop 1:02:45.520 --> 1:02:48.240 and black and brown stories, which I'm just like, what, 1:02:48.440 --> 1:02:52.800 So this is what I posted underneath you know, I said, 1:02:53.720 --> 1:02:57.640 this is the literal manifestation of they tried to bury you, 1:02:58.000 --> 1:03:01.800 but didn't realize you were a seed groking, continue to 1:03:01.800 --> 1:03:04.720 bear fruit and bring nourishment back to your people. Okay, 1:03:05.240 --> 1:03:08.439 So yeah, he's all the things, and I just yeah, 1:03:08.480 --> 1:03:10.800 I just you know, well, here's the thing. It doesn't 1:03:10.800 --> 1:03:12.680 always work out that way. Sometimes you stand up for 1:03:12.720 --> 1:03:15.560 what is right, and you know, you there are no flowers, 1:03:15.560 --> 1:03:18.280 there are no Disney deals for you. And obviously he's 1:03:18.360 --> 1:03:20.520 not doing it for that, because how can you anticipate 1:03:20.560 --> 1:03:23.440 that what's gonna happen. But you know that if you 1:03:23.480 --> 1:03:27.440 can make someone else's life better. But he sacrificed so much, 1:03:27.520 --> 1:03:29.280 and so I've just loved that this is happening, and 1:03:29.560 --> 1:03:32.400 he's been donating money. I just he has stayed so 1:03:32.640 --> 1:03:36.560 true in the face of adversity. I honestly, he's goals. Okay, 1:03:36.640 --> 1:03:37.240 he's goals. 1:03:37.440 --> 1:03:40.400 Yeah. And I also saw that Ava DuVernay is doing 1:03:40.520 --> 1:03:43.320 a Netflix series based on his life, based on his 1:03:43.480 --> 1:03:45.800 high school years. I think, so he's really having his 1:03:45.880 --> 1:03:47.440 moment in the sun in the sun. And I got 1:03:47.440 --> 1:03:49.160 to do a shout out for Ava DuVernay because she 1:03:49.200 --> 1:03:53.120 has always been true to telling black stories and I 1:03:53.160 --> 1:03:55.760 hope that she's also I mean, she she is leaning 1:03:55.800 --> 1:03:58.919 in and she her voice sounds so hoarse on social media. 1:03:58.920 --> 1:04:01.120 When I hear her speak now, she has never put 1:04:01.160 --> 1:04:03.720 down the megaphone, never, not once has she not used 1:04:03.720 --> 1:04:07.720 her platform to amplify important voices of color. And I 1:04:07.760 --> 1:04:09.440 love her so much and the fact that they're teaming 1:04:09.480 --> 1:04:13.800 up together is just beautiful. Love it and shout out 1:04:13.840 --> 1:04:15.640 to Disney. I guess they're trying to make things right 1:04:17.120 --> 1:04:18.920 because you know, for a long time they did not 1:04:19.000 --> 1:04:20.000 amplifier voices. 1:04:20.200 --> 1:04:24.240 What I'm now, it was like the only Black Disney princess, 1:04:24.280 --> 1:04:27.800 her Princess a frog. But whatever, they have a lot. 1:04:27.880 --> 1:04:30.760 But yeah, I heard that they're doing a Yeah, that's right, 1:04:30.840 --> 1:04:32.720 Prince and the frog was Princess and the Frog was 1:04:32.760 --> 1:04:36.080 the only Black Disney princess, right. I mean there hasn't 1:04:36.120 --> 1:04:39.600 been one since, which is pretty sad. They put my 1:04:39.640 --> 1:04:42.120 man sterling k Brown and Frozen, but that was very 1:04:42.240 --> 1:04:45.160 MU was after the first one did really well, which is, 1:04:45.280 --> 1:04:47.520 you know, we got they have work to do like 1:04:47.560 --> 1:04:50.920 every other company does. Okay, let me do maya. What 1:04:51.000 --> 1:04:53.120 was I gonna do again? I forget? Oh my boost, Yes, 1:04:53.160 --> 1:04:56.320 a quick boost finally I've been wait, I haven't forgotten 1:04:56.320 --> 1:04:59.960 about you, Amy Cooper. I don't think America has either thing. 1:05:00.000 --> 1:05:02.520 Thank I was a little concerned because George Floyd happened 1:05:02.560 --> 1:05:05.919 soon after Amy Cooper. Not that obviously no one's life 1:05:05.960 --> 1:05:08.320 was taken, But Amy Cooper, she's the woman who called 1:05:08.320 --> 1:05:10.680 the police on a black man in Central Park because 1:05:10.680 --> 1:05:12.480 he had the audacity to ask her to put a 1:05:12.560 --> 1:05:16.360 leash on her dog, which is the rule in the park. 1:05:16.400 --> 1:05:20.320 That she was waltzing her behind through with her dog, 1:05:20.360 --> 1:05:22.440 and she took great offense to the fact that someone 1:05:22.480 --> 1:05:24.320 called her out, and so much so that she called 1:05:24.400 --> 1:05:28.240 nine one one and threatened him. She didn't threaten him 1:05:28.280 --> 1:05:30.160 with a gun, or with a knife or with the 1:05:30.360 --> 1:05:33.000 actual weapon. She threatened him with his own race. She said, 1:05:33.040 --> 1:05:34.880 I'm going to call the police and tell them there's 1:05:34.880 --> 1:05:37.600 a black man threatening me. Because she knew the power 1:05:37.640 --> 1:05:39.439 of her words. I don't care what statement she put 1:05:39.440 --> 1:05:42.560 out afterwards. She knew that using his race against him 1:05:42.640 --> 1:05:45.080 was a weapon, and she knew exactly what she was doing. 1:05:45.480 --> 1:05:48.440 But I wonder she lost her job very soon after 1:05:49.120 --> 1:05:54.080 this news broke She unfortunately, you made the mistake of 1:05:54.480 --> 1:05:56.840 talking to a man who was very renowned in his field, 1:05:57.320 --> 1:05:59.000 not that he needed to be at all, but he 1:05:59.120 --> 1:06:00.920 had a lot of people come out and support of him, 1:06:00.920 --> 1:06:03.880 and she had her come up. But what mattered to 1:06:03.920 --> 1:06:06.320 me most was is what she did illegal? And has 1:06:06.360 --> 1:06:08.520 she been held accountable? And it just came through today, 1:06:08.560 --> 1:06:11.440 I think or yesterday, that she's been charged officially with 1:06:11.480 --> 1:06:14.680 filing a false report with law enforcement, which is like, 1:06:14.840 --> 1:06:16.520 why did it take all this time? I don't know. 1:06:16.600 --> 1:06:18.400 It was pretty clear it was a false report. But 1:06:18.720 --> 1:06:22.080 thank goodness, because this is the accountability that we need, 1:06:22.920 --> 1:06:26.840 and it's something small, very small, that has happened that 1:06:27.000 --> 1:06:30.240 is the right thing. There are obviously bigger things that 1:06:30.240 --> 1:06:32.840 were still waiting for. We're still waiting for accountability for 1:06:32.880 --> 1:06:37.360 the police who killed Brionna Taytlor murdered, murdered, needlessly Breonna 1:06:37.400 --> 1:06:41.160 Taylor in her home. They still haven't arrested those those killers, 1:06:41.480 --> 1:06:43.600 nor had they arrested the people who killed the cops 1:06:43.600 --> 1:06:46.040 who killed Rashard Brooks in Atlanta, and so many more. 1:06:46.880 --> 1:06:51.200 But it was one one little piece of today, And. 1:06:53.000 --> 1:06:55.880 What it does is that it shows people that there 1:06:55.920 --> 1:06:58.840 are consequences. Because I saw a woman who had done something. 1:06:59.280 --> 1:07:03.040 She cut off a gentleman and he pulled over and 1:07:03.080 --> 1:07:05.040 she called him. I guess like the N word when 1:07:05.040 --> 1:07:07.520 she had him off and some other things. So anyway, 1:07:07.520 --> 1:07:09.760 he gets out and he says, you know, you almost like, 1:07:09.840 --> 1:07:11.560 you know, almost crushed. So he's taping her, you know, 1:07:11.600 --> 1:07:13.520 because he almost crashed me. And then you call me 1:07:13.520 --> 1:07:16.080 the N word and she starts to scream and cry 1:07:16.160 --> 1:07:21.680 and says I'm not a Karen and he's like, ma'am, 1:07:21.840 --> 1:07:24.320 I just want you. I forget whatever it was he 1:07:24.320 --> 1:07:27.680 wanted to exchange. I think she's something. I think he 1:07:27.720 --> 1:07:29.880 wanted to just exchange insurance cards or something like that. 1:07:29.920 --> 1:07:32.040 But so, anyway, so people are walking up, and of course, 1:07:32.080 --> 1:07:34.840 because she's weaponizing her tears, You're like, what are you doing? 1:07:34.960 --> 1:07:37.800 Leave her alone. He's like, I don't know if she 1:07:37.920 --> 1:07:39.800 hit him or clipped him. He's like, I just want her, 1:07:40.200 --> 1:07:42.680 like I am allowed to ask for her insurance card 1:07:42.720 --> 1:07:44.160 or whatever he wanted. And she's like, he called me 1:07:44.200 --> 1:07:46.520 the N word. I'm recording because I don't want it 1:07:46.600 --> 1:07:48.200 to come out that I did something to her and 1:07:48.240 --> 1:07:50.480 I did not. So she is boohooing and screaming, but 1:07:50.520 --> 1:07:52.120 I'm like, I bet she won't screaming when you were 1:07:52.120 --> 1:07:54.479 calling this man the N word and cutting him off. 1:07:55.080 --> 1:07:57.680 And so It just was hilarious because she was very 1:07:57.680 --> 1:08:00.880 well aware of yikes, if this is his the interwebs, 1:08:01.040 --> 1:08:04.640 this might be the end. So you're on notice, ma'ams 1:08:04.680 --> 1:08:08.320 and missus, so watch your mouth, watch your face because yes, 1:08:08.800 --> 1:08:10.760 you know, although black people don't. 1:08:10.800 --> 1:08:13.320 Because let's just get all the dirt out front of 1:08:13.360 --> 1:08:16.880 the rugs of America. Like just really feel comfortable in 1:08:16.920 --> 1:08:19.880 this Trump America. You could be people. 1:08:20.479 --> 1:08:24.400 Get you, caught it out, get you. Speaking of which, 1:08:24.479 --> 1:08:25.840 like you know, I try to do my ig of 1:08:25.880 --> 1:08:27.599 the of the of the well not try. This has 1:08:27.600 --> 1:08:29.320 only been like the third, third, fourth, the. 1:08:29.320 --> 1:08:31.160 Third time the Trump I love this you segment that 1:08:31.160 --> 1:08:32.519 were this mini segment. 1:08:32.600 --> 1:08:35.920 Yes, so it's called Gossip of the City. So I 1:08:35.920 --> 1:08:38.000 think it used to be originally like a gossip site, 1:08:38.080 --> 1:08:39.680 but then they started taping. You know, we have all 1:08:39.720 --> 1:08:42.320 these Karen and Wild videos and or Karen in a 1:08:42.439 --> 1:08:45.479 Wild or Karen instagrams, and Mandy and I were both like, 1:08:45.680 --> 1:08:47.880 I'm not sure how I feel about it, because sometimes 1:08:47.960 --> 1:08:50.439 it's like unrequited. You watch it and you're like, okay, 1:08:50.439 --> 1:08:52.160 so they did this terrible thing and now we know, 1:08:53.000 --> 1:08:55.680 So now now what what I like about Gossip of 1:08:55.680 --> 1:08:58.960 the City is that it pivoted its account and now 1:08:59.120 --> 1:09:02.800 it posts the ask for help finding this person and 1:09:02.840 --> 1:09:05.640 then shares that person with the authorities for them to 1:09:05.640 --> 1:09:07.880 either be arrested or shares them with their job, and 1:09:07.920 --> 1:09:10.720 then post updates like hey, this person was arrested for 1:09:10.880 --> 1:09:13.639 threatening this person or this person was let go for 1:09:13.920 --> 1:09:17.360 these racial slurs. So it's of all those types of sites, 1:09:17.800 --> 1:09:21.320 of all those types of ig accounts, Gossip of the City. 1:09:22.080 --> 1:09:26.040 It feels like there's a sense of closure there. And 1:09:26.080 --> 1:09:28.920 they've even started like a Facebook like page where it's like, 1:09:28.960 --> 1:09:33.120 you know, help Stop Racism, where you can basically report 1:09:33.160 --> 1:09:37.320 in and crowdsource help, like hey, this person did this 1:09:37.360 --> 1:09:39.559 to me. I'm showing you the proof, and then they 1:09:39.560 --> 1:09:42.280 crowdsource help like you know, because sometimes you know, nobody 1:09:42.320 --> 1:09:45.000 wants to do anything, but then you know, twenty two 1:09:45.000 --> 1:09:47.720 thousand people see it. The New York Times does a 1:09:47.760 --> 1:09:49.400 story and all of a sudden, the police are like, oh, yeah, 1:09:49.439 --> 1:09:51.880 that's a legal Oh you think so, I just yeah, 1:09:52.000 --> 1:09:55.040 so I like thus far. You know, a friend of mine, 1:09:55.040 --> 1:09:57.160 I was actually getting my hair retightened the other day 1:09:58.560 --> 1:10:00.400 because it'd been months and months and months, and so 1:10:01.040 --> 1:10:04.519 I was telling my the my friend katab who does it. 1:10:04.640 --> 1:10:06.720 He was telling me about the site. He told me 1:10:06.760 --> 1:10:08.240 that's why he liked it, he said, because the other 1:10:08.240 --> 1:10:09.760 ones just kind of made him feel bad, and he 1:10:09.840 --> 1:10:11.479 was like, but this one, it feels like one I 1:10:11.479 --> 1:10:13.880 could help in case I recognize someone. And two we 1:10:13.920 --> 1:10:15.880 get an update of like, hey, thank you guys so 1:10:15.960 --> 1:10:19.080 much for the help. There's been something something has happened 1:10:19.080 --> 1:10:21.960 as a result. So I'm like, yay. So Gossip of 1:10:22.000 --> 1:10:23.519 the City get you. 1:10:23.479 --> 1:10:26.280 Saturday on ig right, love it? 1:10:26.720 --> 1:10:28.720 I mean a fan following Mandra and I what are 1:10:28.760 --> 1:10:31.160 you doing? Mandy money, Mandy with an I thank you 1:10:31.240 --> 1:10:31.919 very much. 1:10:31.840 --> 1:10:34.920 Thank you for just what. That's a true friend. One 1:10:34.920 --> 1:10:37.160 who remembers my name is spelled with an eye. 1:10:38.280 --> 1:10:41.040 Yes, follow us on ig. I'm the bunch oftista, Mandy 1:10:41.080 --> 1:10:44.320 with an Eye and Brown Ambition podcast. Right, it's not 1:10:44.439 --> 1:10:47.960 the It's just Brown Ambition podcast or pod? Which one 1:10:48.000 --> 1:10:48.200 is it? 1:10:48.240 --> 1:10:51.720 I genuinely don't remember. I'm malnourished and I have a 1:10:51.720 --> 1:10:52.360 bunch of girl. 1:10:53.920 --> 1:10:55.519 I'm gonna fight it really quickly because I do want 1:10:55.560 --> 1:10:56.960 us for you guys to fall because I love when 1:10:56.960 --> 1:10:57.760 you guys follow us. 1:10:57.720 --> 1:10:59.880 And like I think it's just at Brown Ambition podcast. 1:10:59.880 --> 1:11:02.360 You right, You're right, you are. I should know because 1:11:02.360 --> 1:11:03.080 I'm on all the time. 1:11:03.280 --> 1:11:05.320 I'm like just I'm like, okay, I should get Brown 1:11:05.320 --> 1:11:08.000 Ambition podcasts. So you can't. You can't, you can't get 1:11:08.040 --> 1:11:11.160 it wrong. So I expect an uptick right now. We're 1:11:11.160 --> 1:11:14.840 at forty two four thy two and eighty nine. Mark 1:11:14.920 --> 1:11:17.479 that number. Uh, so I expect to see an uptick. 1:11:17.600 --> 1:11:22.599 So you know whoa okay that accountability? Thank you guys. 1:11:22.600 --> 1:11:24.800 Well I heard we're still being featured on Spotify's Bay 1:11:24.880 --> 1:11:29.000 Black section. I still get alerts from friends, texts and stuff. 1:11:29.000 --> 1:11:32.679 So thank y'all Spotify for for amplifying us. We're about 1:11:32.680 --> 1:11:35.680 to hit five years. So this is a beautiful, a 1:11:35.720 --> 1:11:40.320 beautiful and long overdue? Is that too presumptuous? Would be 1:11:40.320 --> 1:11:41.960 to say? A long overdue recognition? 1:11:43.280 --> 1:11:43.720 Love it? 1:11:44.320 --> 1:11:46.960 Thank thank y'all so much for listening to another episode 1:11:46.960 --> 1:11:49.799 of Brown Ambition. Hit us up, like Tiffany said on Instagram, 1:11:49.840 --> 1:11:53.599 Brown and Vission Podcast. Email Brandomission Podcast at gmail dot com, 1:11:53.640 --> 1:11:57.120 dot us on Facebook if you're not you know, tired 1:11:57.160 --> 1:11:59.519 of it like everyone else's right now, and us up 1:11:59.560 --> 1:12:00.000 on faceboo