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Speaker 1: Me, me, me, me, Hey, hey, hey, we're back. We're black,

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Speaker 1: we're brown ambition. So normally you guys don't hear the

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Speaker 1: warm up that I do. But you know, CALLI, you

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Speaker 1: can leave that in because I need people to understand

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Speaker 1: that these vocals don't come easy.

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Speaker 2: Hang got it? How does a podcast hosted by two

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Speaker 2: POC's from New York and New Jersey make it to

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Speaker 2: the top of the Spotify list? Yeah, I had to,

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Speaker 2: I had I bailed. I bailed too soon when I

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Speaker 2: got scared of my own talent. The pressure freestyle.

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Speaker 1: Yes, you know, don't don't let it. You have to

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Speaker 1: just let that loose. It's in you, it is in me.

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Speaker 2: Like so many people, I just spent my uh what

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Speaker 2: are we calling this the fifteenth day after Juneteenth holiday weekend?

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Speaker 2: I just spent that watching Hamilton on repeat? And genuinely,

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Speaker 2: I know, Tiffany, you haven't seen Hamilton. What's your excuse now,

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Speaker 2: my friend.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm not much of a TV watcher.

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Speaker 2: I don't understand the premise.

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Speaker 1: No, no, I've heard the primes of Hamilton TV. Do

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Speaker 1: you mean?

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Speaker 2: Like, but everyone watches on their computer now and I

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Speaker 2: don't really consider it well, actually we watch on our

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Speaker 2: actual television, but it's like Netflix and Disney Plus, are

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Speaker 2: they really TV?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't know. I don't say. I just don't.

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Speaker 1: I just have not really gotten into like my husband

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Speaker 1: loves like movies and shows and things like that. I

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Speaker 1: just it's rare for like a show or movie or

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Speaker 1: whatever to hold my anterest very long these days. I

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Speaker 1: don't know.

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Speaker 2: So I just it's two hours and forty minutes.

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Speaker 1: No, no, I might. I might take to it like

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Speaker 1: I did with Kimmy Kimmy Schmidt. I love that.

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Speaker 2: Oh like yourself some Titus Titus Burgess, Hey, Titus Fellow,

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Speaker 2: Ega grad love you I And he also retweeted our

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Speaker 2: being named Grady campaign. Thanks mister. But listen, I have

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Speaker 2: to talk about Hamilton, and hopefully this will encourage you

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Speaker 2: to watch it, because whether or not you are a

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Speaker 2: Broadway fan, a history fan, musical fan, story, hip hop fan, whatever,

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Speaker 2: I think Hamilton became such a cultural touchstone when it

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Speaker 2: was premiered on Broadway, or when it premiered on Broadway

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Speaker 2: four or five years ago, and it was the defining

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Speaker 2: piece of artwork for I think a generation, and it's

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Speaker 2: going to become what Camelot was to the Kennedys, where

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Speaker 2: Hamilton is the Obama administration. Everyone's going to remember the

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Speaker 2: time of Obama in Hamilton. And it is for those

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Speaker 2: of you who have been sleeping under a rock or

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Speaker 2: just you know, avoiding it, like Tiffany and My Little Brother.

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Speaker 2: Hamilton is a musical based on the life of Alexander

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Speaker 2: Hamilton and our founding fathers Thomas Jefferson and others who

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Speaker 2: fought in the Revolutionary War and wrote our Declaration of Independence,

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Speaker 2: the Bill of Rights, how our nation was founded, and

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Speaker 2: the fact that it was founded by in one of

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Speaker 2: the founders, Alexander Hamilton. Like a lot of people, all

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Speaker 2: I knew about him was that he was killed in

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Speaker 2: a duel, and that seemed really dumb. And Glynn Manuel Miranda,

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Speaker 2: who grew up in Washington Heights in New York. He

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Speaker 2: is Puerto Rican. His parents immigrated here from the island

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Speaker 2: before he was born. And hip hop was really, you know,

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Speaker 2: like in the Heights. I mean, hip hop was just

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Speaker 2: instrumental to his growing up. And he also became a

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Speaker 2: Broadway nerd, and he really mashed those two things together

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Speaker 2: when he created Hamilton. He's won the Pilitzer. He's been

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Speaker 2: named MacArthur Genius. This was a phenomenon, like people in

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Speaker 2: Middle America knew about a show that they couldn't even

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Speaker 2: see in New York City, and now it's all over

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Speaker 2: the country, or at least it was before it became

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Speaker 2: too dangerous to go to theaters anymore, which is very

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Speaker 2: sad to me. So now it has been released on

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Speaker 2: Disney Plus as a film. They actually filmed Hamilton four

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Speaker 2: years ago when they were just about it was after

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Speaker 2: the first year of their run on Broadway, and now

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Speaker 2: it's available. And what's so fascinating about Hamilton is it

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Speaker 2: was for me, it was huge, Like Tiffany, if you've

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Speaker 2: ever been to a Broadway show, you know, the audience

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Speaker 2: is usually very old, very white, and I've been going

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Speaker 2: to shows. I mean also the audience is very old

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Speaker 2: and very white because it's very expensive to go to Broadway.

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Speaker 2: I mean, we're talking about two hundred dollars for a

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Speaker 2: show unless you really know you know how to get

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Speaker 2: cheap tickets, and there's not very many ways to get

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Speaker 2: like affordable tickets anymore, especially there's so much demand for

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Speaker 2: lotteries and things like that. So Broadway really is just

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Speaker 2: inherent in the in the in the art form. It

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Speaker 2: is I think classes because it really keeps out people

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Speaker 2: who are at lower income threshold and cannot afford to

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Speaker 2: see it. And I only really began to be able

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Speaker 2: to afford Broadway like a few years ago, and even

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Speaker 2: then I had to save and it was really a

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Speaker 2: big moment for me to go to a show. Hamilton

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Speaker 2: for me was so important and so huge is because

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Speaker 2: the cast is largely people of color, Latino, Filipino, black.

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Speaker 2: It features a hip hop retelling of the founding of

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Speaker 2: our nation. It is powerful. It is so powerful if

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Speaker 2: you are like me and you have been starved for

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Speaker 2: stories on Broadway from people who look like us. I

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Speaker 2: remember very specifically when I saw Nashville on Broadway, which

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Speaker 2: is set I think in the nineteen sixties, and it

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Speaker 2: tells it tells the story of Motown but through the

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Speaker 2: lens of the artists who performing in Nashville at the time,

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Speaker 2: and it was beautiful. And there really haven't been that

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Speaker 2: many more moments for me on Broadway. And then Hamilton

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Speaker 2: comes around, and not only is the stage diverse, but

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Speaker 2: the audience became more diverse because they came to see

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Speaker 2: a play that featured people who look like them and

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Speaker 2: it was magical. What's happening now it's four years later,

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Speaker 2: Now we're in this different context. Back then, it was like, yeah,

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Speaker 2: Trump was elected, but Hamilton came around twenty fifteen, twenty

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Speaker 2: sixteen before Trump was elected. It was still the good

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Speaker 2: old years, you know, with in power, and Hamilton seemed

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Speaker 2: to embolize everything that you know, the Obama stood for.

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Speaker 2: And they were very supportive of the play and saw

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Speaker 2: a million times. But now we're in twenty twenty. We've

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Speaker 2: got the backdrop Black Lives Matter movement, George Floyd, Breonna Taylor,

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Speaker 2: Elijah McCain, all of these, you know, and and the

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Speaker 2: list goes on and on, and we're in the middle

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Speaker 2: of a pandemic. And Hamilton was universally beloved at least

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Speaker 2: it felt that way when it first came out. But

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Speaker 2: what we're seeing now is people like my brother, for example,

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Speaker 2: have watched Hamilton and he's never seen it before, and he,

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Speaker 2: you know, he din'ner. He was like, almost seems really overhyped.

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Speaker 2: And I'm not trying to like just jump on any bandwagon,

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Speaker 2: but I begged him, begged him, begged him to watch

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Speaker 2: it because I was really interested to hear his opinion.

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Speaker 2: He's a very he's a tough critic. He loves hip hop.

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Speaker 2: He actually performs and writes songs and raps himself.

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Speaker 1: Of course he does. Yes.

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Speaker 2: His stage name is rain Jeju Hilary now Rain Rain.

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Speaker 2: I'm very proud he's writing music right now, new music.

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Speaker 2: Lookout Rain DTB on SoundCloud. But I wanted to get

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Speaker 2: his opinion. He's young, he's very entrenched in what's going

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Speaker 2: on in Atlanta with the BLM movement and politics and

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Speaker 2: all of that. You know what, he hated it. He

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Speaker 2: hated Hamilton and he had one very specific reason why.

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Speaker 2: He said, of all the stories you can tell with

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Speaker 2: that many black and brown artists and hip hop itself,

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Speaker 2: the art form that was founded by black poets, artist freestylers,

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Speaker 2: spoken word artists in the sound box, like, how do

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Speaker 2: you take that art form and then use it to

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Speaker 2: lift up the stories of white men who played such

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Speaker 2: a massive role in proliferating slavery at the founding of

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Speaker 2: our nation. And he just couldn't get beyond that. He

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Speaker 2: couldn't get beyond the fact that he was his hip hop,

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Speaker 2: which he loves was being used to tell the stories

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Speaker 2: of these white guys who own slaves. And yes, Hamilton

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Speaker 2: mentioned slaves in a couple of It mentions the fact

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Speaker 2: that Thomas Jefferson owned slaves. It mentions the fact that

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Speaker 2: George Washington actually does it. I'm not really I don't

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Speaker 2: remember if it mentions Washington's the Washington the fact that

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Speaker 2: he owned slaves until his death. He emancipated his slaves

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Speaker 2: in his will. So generous of him. Wait until I

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Speaker 2: don't need you anymore and then y'all can get out

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Speaker 2: of here. So he really took issue with that, and

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Speaker 2: he's not the only one. People are really critically looking

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Speaker 2: at Hamilton, And you know, my little brother was like,

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Speaker 2: it just kind of felt like the Obama version of

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Speaker 2: a hip hop musical. And it hurts my heart that

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Speaker 2: he's so cynical about Obama. I'm gonna help him get

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Speaker 2: to the other side. But you know a lot of

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Speaker 2: people criticize Obama. Did he do enough for Black Americans?

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Speaker 2: Shouldn't he have done more for criminal justice reform? Shouldn't

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Speaker 2: he have done this? Or that? Wasn't like the pressure

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Speaker 2: is so real the first black president, he was never

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Speaker 2: going to be good enough and he was damn near perfect,

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Speaker 2: you know, in everything he did, this same thing is

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Speaker 2: happening to Hamilton. I think it is one of it

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Speaker 2: is such a huge cultural touchdone. It's all these black

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Speaker 2: and brown actors, singers, dancers, written by a Puerto Rican composer. It's,

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Speaker 2: you know, about an immigrant story at its heart, and

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Speaker 2: people are just kind of they're really tearing it apart.

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Speaker 2: They're wanting these Founding Fathers heads on a spike. And

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Speaker 2: I completely see it. But it's just a very it's

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Speaker 2: a very interesting debate right now, and I'm actually it

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Speaker 2: makes me like, in a strange way, it makes me

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Speaker 2: like Hamilton more.

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Speaker 1: But because also too, I mean, I think it's art.

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Speaker 1: It's meant to be debated. It's meant to be torn

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Speaker 1: apart and looked at and put back together and torn

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Speaker 1: apart and looked at. So I think that all the

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Speaker 1: opinions are valid. I think that would we be talking

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Speaker 1: about Hamilton had he not done a hip hop story

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Speaker 1: about the Founding Fathers now, if he had done a

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Speaker 1: hip hop a musical about the start of hip hop,

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Speaker 1: I mean, you know what I mean. So it's almost

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Speaker 1: like the thing you criticize is also the reason why

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Speaker 1: you're able to criticize it. So, you know, I just

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Speaker 1: feel like it's art. It's meant to be you know,

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Speaker 1: we're not talking about you know, I don't know, like

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Speaker 1: it's art is subjective and so you know, it's meant

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Speaker 1: to be critically looked at, and especially because there's some

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Speaker 1: things like for example, like I mean, even though it's

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Speaker 1: not the same as Hamilton, but thinking about like I

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Speaker 1: used to love Martin the show, but if I were

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Speaker 1: to watch it now.

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Speaker 2: I create March.

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Speaker 1: Well, you could create because some of the jokes you're like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like so and that's and that's okay. You know, things

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Speaker 1: that we're okay then are not necessarily okay now that

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Speaker 1: certain things don't age well, some things stand the test

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Speaker 1: of time. And I think it is what it is.

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Speaker 1: I think that, you know, I don't think that anyone

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Speaker 1: can dismantle, you know, what Hamilton brought to the table.

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Speaker 1: I think that you know that this only also puts

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Speaker 1: Hamilton cements its place in history and these types of conversations.

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Speaker 1: So so now you make me curious to watch it,

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Speaker 1: so I shall.

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Speaker 2: I'd love to hear what you think about it. Just

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Speaker 2: anyone who hasn't seen it yet, and it's very different.

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Speaker 2: I mean, it's a beautiful experience on the screen. In fact,

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Speaker 2: it's the best scene in the house. We weren't even

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Speaker 2: that close to the stage. They have the angles. It

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Speaker 2: feels cinematic. It's beautiful. But I'm very curious to hear

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Speaker 2: your thoughts because I did see it in twenty sixteen

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Speaker 2: and now I'm seeing it today. I still love it,

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Speaker 2: and I don't take anything away from lind Man and

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Speaker 2: wil Miranda. He is a Latino man who has been

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Speaker 2: through his own grit and determination and his talent has

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Speaker 2: clawed his way to the top and has taken people

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Speaker 2: with him. He has catapulted the careers of so many

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Speaker 2: unknown Broadway actors, rappers, actresses, people who had been Broadway

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Speaker 2: stars but hadn't crossed over yet because there just weren't

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Speaker 2: enough opportunities for them to share their talents and meaningful

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Speaker 2: roles on Broadway. And he gave them they He gave

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Speaker 2: them a voice in the musical that he didn't have

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Speaker 2: to give them a voice in. No one would have said, oh, hey,

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Speaker 2: Alexander Hamilton, play okay cool, everyone's white. Yeah sounds about right.

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Speaker 2: But he cast. He did color blind casting, and he

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Speaker 2: you know, he says he had to one because those

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Speaker 2: are the people that he knows. And also because he's

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Speaker 2: doing a rap hip hop musical, So what's he gonna do, Like,

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Speaker 2: how can he cast? It would just be ridiculous to

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Speaker 2: test anyone other than artists who can be true to

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Speaker 2: that art form. And that is what I've been advocating for,

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Speaker 2: you know, the past couple of shows, just talking about

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Speaker 2: how if you're given a piece of power, do your

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Speaker 2: best to make things a little bit better, you know

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Speaker 2: than what you found it. Maybe you like, you're no

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Speaker 2: sure he could have done a better job, you know,

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Speaker 2: ripping apart these characters for the role that they played

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Speaker 2: in the slave trade and how they fought for freedom

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Speaker 2: and liberties that did not apply to everyone, despite the

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Speaker 2: words in their own constitution.

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Speaker 1: But he forced us.

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Speaker 2: To look at it through the lens of black and

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Speaker 2: brown voices, and it almost to me it is a

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Speaker 2: huge middle finger to the founding fathers because like, screw

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Speaker 2: you guys, look at us now, we are here, thank

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Speaker 2: you for this nation. We're taking it back now. We

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Speaker 2: are at the center of the story. Even though you

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Speaker 2: would have preferred that we were in the background the

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Speaker 2: whole time we are in this We're taking back the narrative.

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Speaker 2: That's one of the key lines from Hamilton. I'm trying

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Speaker 2: not to get too on my soapbox about it, because

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Speaker 2: I am pretty it's in my blood the show and

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Speaker 2: the themes in it. But we're taking back the narrative.

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Speaker 2: It's in our hands. Who lives, who dies? Who tells

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Speaker 2: our story? We do we can, and if you don't

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Speaker 2: like the way someone tells it you His success means

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Speaker 2: that someone else who looks like him or someone different

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Speaker 2: will have an easier time telling their story. And I

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Speaker 2: promise no more songs, I mean, maybe a little bone.

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Speaker 1: Well, speaking of artists and hip hop, I'm just gonna

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Speaker 1: say it and then we're gonna leave it and run away.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, say it. I'm ready. I know what you're

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Speaker 2: gonna say.

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Speaker 1: So Kanye Amari West tweeted that he is running for president,

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Speaker 1: which is not feasible or possible because he did not

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Speaker 1: do the proper filings to do so. So I don't

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Speaker 1: know why he tweeted this attention that's not true. I

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Speaker 1: do know why. Attention.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can give you a couple of reasons why

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Speaker 2: gap partnership, new album coming out, or any music he's

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Speaker 2: promoting attention just yeah, you know, all the dead black

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Speaker 2: bodies and our ridiculous president. We're just taking in the pandemic.

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Speaker 2: We're just taking a little bit too much. So Kanye

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Speaker 2: needed to like ease on in there to Twitter and

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Speaker 2: take a little piece of that spotlight away.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so just we've said it, he's you know, he's

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Speaker 1: not obviously running so but it was just very Kanye,

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Speaker 1: very Kanye, Yes, very Kanye. Speaking of Kanye actually did

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Speaker 1: like so I did a like a someone said it

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Speaker 1: was a rant, but whatever I did like a. I

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Speaker 1: put it on my RGTV Stories. No, I don't know

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Speaker 1: what they call like us ig TV channel anyway, but

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Speaker 1: where I talked about race in finance. And it's so

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Speaker 1: funny because one of the companies that I was like mentioning,

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Speaker 1: they actually emailed me today.

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Speaker 2: This was recent I missed a Tiffany rant. Where can

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Speaker 2: I is it? Teep? Can I DV?

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Speaker 1: Or how do you I'm wearing like what looks to

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Speaker 1: be like it's an African sque top and I have

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Speaker 1: a high ponytail. That's all you know.

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Speaker 2: So you have to look an esque. Come on now, well, yeah, because.

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Speaker 1: It's not really African, but it looks I mean, it

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Speaker 1: was just addressed that my sister lent me because I

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Speaker 1: had done something else earlier that day. And it's like

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Speaker 1: pink and pink and black. So you go to the budgetista,

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Speaker 1: you'll look in my it literally it's called Let's talk

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Speaker 1: about rac and Money. You know, like when you can

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Speaker 1: watch IGTV, you can it's like these little buttons on

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Speaker 1: the top of your pictures. It's like you can look

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Speaker 1: at someone's feed, you can do IGTV, or you can

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Speaker 1: look to see how many people have tagged you in

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Speaker 1: the thing. So anyways, it's on my IGTV and it's

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Speaker 1: it's called Let's talk about Racing Money, and so we

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Speaker 1: talk about racing money and so yeah, yeah, I just

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Speaker 1: wanted to because I was just thinking about we were

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Speaker 1: talking about, uh, race and money? Because oh you know

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Speaker 1: why I came up because someone who interviewed and asked

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Speaker 1: me this. It was maybe forms or SEEINGBCEE. Somebody asked me,

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Speaker 1: did I think that they had been interviewing some financial

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Speaker 1: educators and experts whatever, some of whom believe that race

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Speaker 1: and money should not be talked about together two separate things. Like,

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Speaker 1: for example, someone told me I've not heard this to

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Speaker 1: be true, but someone told me that Dave Ramsey said

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Speaker 1: money is not black or white, it's green. That there's

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Speaker 1: no place for race and money. And I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: how white of you. That's so cute that you can

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Speaker 1: live like that. What the hell is he talking about

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Speaker 1: if he said that, because that's just not Yeah, So,

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Speaker 1: not only is there a gender gap, there's a it's

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Speaker 1: exacerbated by your race. It's you know, how much you make,

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Speaker 1: how much you spend, Like my owner's insurance is influenced

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Speaker 1: by where I live because of the races oft people

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Speaker 1: that I live here. We'll talk about later on in

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Speaker 1: the show about you know, we've already talked about appraisals,

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Speaker 1: but we have like this like update to talk about that.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I cannot personally separate my race from the

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Speaker 1: way I have to navigate with my money.

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Speaker 2: And that's the definition of privilege.

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Speaker 1: I mean literally, I mean I'm to do that. I

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Speaker 1: would love to not do that. I mean what I

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Speaker 1: would love to be like, Hey, nobody cares about what

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Speaker 1: color you are if this is how much you make,

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Speaker 1: because this is what you're owed, you know, and this

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Speaker 1: is how much you this thing costs, because that's just

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Speaker 1: how much it costs. I don't have the privilege of

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Speaker 1: being able to separate the two. So when she told

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Speaker 1: me that a bunch of financial educators, you know, that

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Speaker 1: she'd interviewed, like I said, I can't remember what it

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Speaker 1: was like Forbes or Time or something like that, I

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Speaker 1: was like, yeah, I can almost guarante you what they

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Speaker 1: look like because they don't have to consider that, you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't.

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Speaker 2: I don't have irresponsible reporting if those are the sources

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Speaker 2: you're going to use in a story like this.

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Speaker 1: No, well, I think that she wanted the story was

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Speaker 1: about race and finance and to see what a financial

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Speaker 1: educators think. So I think she wanted to pull out,

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Speaker 1: Like so what do you think, Tiffany, And I was like,

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Speaker 1: I think I don't have a choice. You know, that's

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Speaker 1: like saying, you know, separating you know, my my gender.

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Speaker 1: You know, like there are certain things that just it's

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Speaker 1: ingrained in the system. We know that, and may get

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Speaker 1: paid less. I mean, should it be can it be changed? Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: but it's still a thing that I can't pull out,

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Speaker 1: you know, Like I would love to pull that out

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Speaker 1: that I would love to know that as an influencer

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Speaker 1: or an educator whatever, that I'm paid the same despite

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Speaker 1: the fact that me being a woman and then being

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Speaker 1: a being a black woman on top of that. So

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Speaker 1: I just thought that was so I did a whole

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Speaker 1: because of that interview and maybe it just put me

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Speaker 1: in a state of mind to do like a talk

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Speaker 1: and a rant. And you can certainly tune in and listen,

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Speaker 1: but I wanted to take like a veer to the left.

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Speaker 1: So I wanted you actually just as good, right, I

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Speaker 1: want to your advice man drugs. I feel like you

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Speaker 1: are good with whether or not because I tend to

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Speaker 1: lean on not saying when something is not right, and

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Speaker 1: I feel like you're more of a better gauge. So

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Speaker 1: I use a service. Well, it was a product that

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Speaker 1: I order handmade beautiful, but the young woman who was black,

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Speaker 1: who was delivering these products to me, it has been challenging.

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Speaker 1: Everything has been.

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Speaker 2: Late, so much pressure on black owned business.

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Speaker 1: I know perfect, So I know. So everything has been late,

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Speaker 1: I mean like months late, and some of it was

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Speaker 1: really timely, Like, well, I guess that birthday is not happening.

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Speaker 1: You know that kind of thing, and it's been monthly

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Speaker 1: and then too there's no follow up, Like if I

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Speaker 1: don't follow up, I just guess I don't hear anything.

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Speaker 1: Like literally every follow up of like, hey, where's the

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Speaker 1: thing I paid for? And I intentionally like, I don't

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Speaker 1: take discounts on black women, so cheat offer me. They're like,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I love you, but Janizza, you know

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Speaker 1: I love what you're doing. I'll give you a discount.

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Speaker 1: I said, thank you, but no want to pay pull

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Speaker 1: full price just like everyone else because I'm also going

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Speaker 1: to expect full service, and so that has not happened.

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Speaker 1: So our our working relationship has coming to an end,

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Speaker 1: like I'll finally get the final thing that I've paid

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Speaker 1: for soon hopefully. So I'm just wondering, I would I

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Speaker 1: want to pull her aside to have like a sister

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Speaker 1: the sister hey girl, hey like business almost you know,

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Speaker 1: black business owner to black business owner. Here's some things

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Speaker 1: that you know, here's someeedback so you can do better.

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Speaker 1: Obviously I'm not gonna I'm not dragging her on social

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Speaker 1: or anything like that, but I don't know is it

401
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Speaker 1: my place too, because we're not like like if it

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00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:10,879
Speaker 1: was you many we're friends. So I could be like

403
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,760
Speaker 1: girl seeing a thing telling you, you know a thing,

404
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 1: but someone we're not you know, we're not bosom buddies.

405
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,000
Speaker 1: We're not friends. You know. I was just a client,

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Speaker 1: and I do have some feedback, and I would love

407
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Speaker 1: to be able to give it to her, like you know,

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Speaker 1: in a you know, from like literally like black women

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Speaker 1: and black woman business owners to a business owner. But

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it's appropriate, and she has not asked,

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Speaker 1: you know, so when it made sense, I would say, hey,

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Speaker 1: you know, checking another thing, I don't have it, or hey,

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Speaker 1: this wasn't delivered in the way that I was expecting.

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Speaker 1: So I've given the basic feedback, but that's not what

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Speaker 1: I'm saying. I'm saying like that deeper. I didn't ask

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Speaker 1: you for all that feedback, Like honestly, if you would

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Speaker 1: do this, this, this, and this, it would be better

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00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: for your business that kind of feedback. So like the

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Speaker 1: other stuff, the surface feedback I've already given, but the

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Speaker 1: deeper feedback, what say you, Mandra, Is that appriate?

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Speaker 2: Is it appropriate? I don't know appropriate. I think it's

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Speaker 2: generous of you. I think it is. Yeah, I'll use

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Speaker 2: the word generous because at a time where people are

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Speaker 2: so quick to shame people on the internet before they

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Speaker 2: give them a chance to respond, you know, and I'm

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Speaker 2: talking about Yelp reviews, Google reviews. When you go to

427
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Speaker 2: a restaurant or you you know, get a plumber that

428
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Speaker 2: has poor worksmanship, and instead of going directly to them

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00:21:24,440 --> 00:21:26,440
Speaker 2: and giving them a chance to make things right, you

430
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:30,240
Speaker 2: go immediately and blast them on a review platform. I

431
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 2: think it's very generous of you to give her that

432
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,919
Speaker 2: feedback one to one and very mature. Whether or not

433
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,720
Speaker 2: she receives it is up to her. Whether or not

434
00:21:36,880 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 2: she takes it and is gracious about it is up

435
00:21:38,680 --> 00:21:40,800
Speaker 2: to her. That's why I'm like, get your goods first

436
00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,359
Speaker 2: and then give the feedback.

437
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:44,359
Speaker 1: So you thinks should you think I should give the

438
00:21:44,359 --> 00:21:45,960
Speaker 1: feedback even if she has think you should?

439
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:48,399
Speaker 2: If you want to do, I think it's your responsibility. No,

440
00:21:48,720 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 2: I think that her poor management of her business will

441
00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:54,959
Speaker 2: be the lesson that she needs in terms of, you know,

442
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 2: whether or not she'll succeed. But that's why I'm saying

443
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:03,920
Speaker 2: it's generous of you. And I also think that you're

444
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 2: in a position where, I mean, you've talked in the

445
00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 2: show about how you've had your fairy godmothers who have

446
00:22:08,359 --> 00:22:11,000
Speaker 2: given you advice when you didn't ask for it, or

447
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,679
Speaker 2: even when you did ask for it, And you know,

448
00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:15,520
Speaker 2: maybe you could be that for someone else, but they

449
00:22:15,560 --> 00:22:17,600
Speaker 2: need to be ready to receive it. I can't. And

450
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,960
Speaker 2: because you don't know her, you can't speak to her maturity,

451
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 2: and she may take it as an insult. But if

452
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:26,080
Speaker 2: she's smart and mature, she will say, Wow, this person

453
00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,879
Speaker 2: has poured into me a little bit of knowledge. I

454
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 2: just don't. I mean, based on the fact that she

455
00:22:30,720 --> 00:22:34,440
Speaker 2: hasn't owned up to her own pens management, I would

456
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,800
Speaker 2: err on this. I kind of feel like, maybe she's

457
00:22:36,840 --> 00:22:39,880
Speaker 2: not so mature, but she's what kind of product is it?

458
00:22:39,920 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 2: Like an artistic product or like a numbers and finance

459
00:22:43,119 --> 00:22:43,879
Speaker 2: type of I mean.

460
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:46,280
Speaker 1: Like artistic, just because I want to keep it light,

461
00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 1: because I feel like enough people follow me that they're.

462
00:22:48,280 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 2: Like, what are you know artists who run their own business,

463
00:22:52,080 --> 00:22:55,720
Speaker 2: that's problematic. But I also feel like they're often in

464
00:22:55,760 --> 00:22:58,400
Speaker 2: a position where they want to focus on the art

465
00:22:58,800 --> 00:23:01,399
Speaker 2: and the business side of things. Maybe they don't have

466
00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,880
Speaker 2: the resources to handle it. So I think it's very

467
00:23:03,880 --> 00:23:07,679
Speaker 2: generous and nice of you to offer that feedback and

468
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:09,640
Speaker 2: to not have made a big stink about it so far.

469
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, because I guess it's here's the thing. The finished

470
00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,760
Speaker 1: product beautiful. That's not the issue. The art itself is amazing,

471
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: but yeah, I just it's like, I'm like, I want

472
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 1: to see you when this and the thing. It's so crazy.

473
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,639
Speaker 1: People have been asking me about the final artistic, like,

474
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: you know, to be super general, and I can't say, hey,

475
00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 1: go ahead and support because honestly, I'm pretty sure they're

476
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,560
Speaker 1: not going to get their thing in time. It's not

477
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:36,840
Speaker 1: gonna you know what I mean. I just because a

478
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,480
Speaker 1: number of people have asked and I'm like, oh, well, uh,

479
00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:42,560
Speaker 1: I don't know if this person is taking on other

480
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,560
Speaker 1: commissions or whatever, even though I'm sure that she is,

481
00:23:46,920 --> 00:23:49,399
Speaker 1: you know, because I don't want someone to come to

482
00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:51,920
Speaker 1: be like that Hail Tiffany. I ordered it and it's

483
00:23:51,920 --> 00:23:54,520
Speaker 1: like four months later, and I'm like, you.

484
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,240
Speaker 2: Know, Lisa tust right, would you tell Lisa about their business?

485
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 1: I would, but with the full disclosure of.

486
00:24:00,560 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, bank on it.

487
00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, like you'll you'll get it, because I mean, she's

488
00:24:04,880 --> 00:24:07,280
Speaker 1: not dishonest or anything. You'll get it. But if you're

489
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:11,040
Speaker 1: needing it in the time frame that's been allotted. I mean,

490
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:13,760
Speaker 1: I'm ninety nine percent sure you're not going to get it,

491
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 1: not even remotely, like months after, you know where. It's

492
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,320
Speaker 1: almost like not ballad anymore if you're needing it for

493
00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:21,280
Speaker 1: specific time frame.

494
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,960
Speaker 2: So at a time. Sorry to interrupt, at a time

495
00:24:25,040 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 2: when it feels like people are finally people besides black

496
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:31,320
Speaker 2: and brown people are looking on for ways that they

497
00:24:31,320 --> 00:24:35,200
Speaker 2: can support black and brown owned businesses, and I've seen

498
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 2: listicles of all kinds. You know, where can we support

499
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,640
Speaker 2: local business in our neighborhood owned by people of color,

500
00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:44,879
Speaker 2: et cetera. It sucks when you're the It sucks that

501
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,800
Speaker 2: we can't. We don't get a break to be mediocre.

502
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,719
Speaker 2: And I'm glad that you're the one who's who's going

503
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:51,520
Speaker 2: to be giving her this this feedback, because I guarantee

504
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 2: you if a white lady and this mom's of whatever,

505
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,440
Speaker 2: you know, I'm in my local Moms of x y

506
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 2: Z City facebook group because they you know, it's a

507
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:01,439
Speaker 2: good it's a good way to source recommendations for all

508
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 2: kinds of stuff. And I know if one of those

509
00:25:04,440 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 2: moms goes and works with the black owned bakery for

510
00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:10,560
Speaker 2: the first time and the cake order is messed up,

511
00:25:10,600 --> 00:25:12,280
Speaker 2: they're not going to get the benefit of the doubt

512
00:25:12,359 --> 00:25:15,919
Speaker 2: that you know, a name brand bakery would. And also,

513
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:18,399
Speaker 2: you know, even if the even if the customer rightfully

514
00:25:18,520 --> 00:25:20,080
Speaker 2: is like I'm probably not going to order a cake

515
00:25:20,119 --> 00:25:22,600
Speaker 2: from that place anymore and I'm just going to order

516
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,879
Speaker 2: from somewhere else, there's so few and far between that

517
00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 2: somewhere else is probably not going to be black owned.

518
00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:30,240
Speaker 2: So it sucks on that end, it really does. But

519
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,080
Speaker 2: at the same time, there's I think you giving her

520
00:25:33,080 --> 00:25:35,280
Speaker 2: the advice is very generous and you should do it.

521
00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:38,919
Speaker 2: Just don't be offended if she's like okay, doesn't respond

522
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,679
Speaker 2: to you, or worse, you know, is very petty about it.

523
00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:44,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, you're right, Maybe that's what it is. It's

524
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:47,040
Speaker 1: just like, just manage my expectation that I'm going to

525
00:25:47,040 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: give the advice and leave it and be like okay, Well,

526
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,520
Speaker 1: you know, she might be like what or she might

527
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:53,440
Speaker 1: be like thank you so much. I don't know, like she's,

528
00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,520
Speaker 1: like I said, she's been really pleasant and nice.

529
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 2: Just yeah, she may thank you a couple of years

530
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,159
Speaker 2: from now. Yes, she might be salty for now. Is

531
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 2: she gonna catch that check? Yes?

532
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 1: Oh chatoo chair? So anything else for for Buzzworthy.

533
00:26:11,040 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 2: I think we can leave it there. Let's take a

534
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:46,679
Speaker 2: quick break and we will be right back with some questions.

535
00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 3: H And it's time for questions.

536
00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:53,359
Speaker 1: Boys and girls. We love your questions. I love your questions.

537
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,440
Speaker 1: Manja loves your questions. Y'all love your questions. Ask ask,

538
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:57,160
Speaker 1: ask away.

539
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 2: Well, this is one of those reunion shows. I feel like,

540
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,640
Speaker 2: you know when you used to watch Ricky Laker, okay,

541
00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 2: and it would be the episode where they'd be catching up.

542
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,320
Speaker 1: With previous show.

543
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, where are they now? We have because a

544
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,040
Speaker 2: couple of our listeners who we'd answer questions for. I

545
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,679
Speaker 2: love when you guys give us an update. You know,

546
00:27:14,720 --> 00:27:16,920
Speaker 2: did you get our feedback? Did it help, did it hurt?

547
00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,919
Speaker 2: Did you miss the show and you did it a

548
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 2: different way? Follow up with us, especially those of you

549
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,280
Speaker 2: who have you know, really important, big financial choices that

550
00:27:26,320 --> 00:27:28,399
Speaker 2: you're asking us for insights on. So we have a

551
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 2: couple of let's let's catch up with a couple of

552
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,040
Speaker 2: our listeners. So one of the one of the couple

553
00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:35,480
Speaker 2: that reached out to us. Let's see, So if you

554
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:39,640
Speaker 2: remember a few shows ago, this woman she reached out.

555
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 2: She wanted to be anonymous, and she asked, us, you know,

556
00:27:42,520 --> 00:27:45,639
Speaker 2: it's a pandemic right now. I'm up for a job,

557
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:49,080
Speaker 2: and I know that I'm not being offered the same

558
00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:51,960
Speaker 2: as someone else who's worked there before. Do I have

559
00:27:52,240 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 2: is it? Is it okay for me to negotiate essentially?

560
00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,160
Speaker 2: And you can guess our answer. It was very emphatically like, yes,

561
00:27:57,240 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 2: ask what you're worth. So she reached out last week

562
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:01,240
Speaker 2: and she said, I just wanted to give y'all an update.

563
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:03,719
Speaker 2: I was offered the position with more money, and I

564
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,840
Speaker 2: still negotiated. My total raise was ten thousand dollars in

565
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:08,920
Speaker 2: the middle of a pandemic.

566
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:09,960
Speaker 3: Can you believe this?

567
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 2: All these explanation, importance and question marks. I couldn't thank

568
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 2: y'all more for your advice.

569
00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:16,560
Speaker 1: I love it.

570
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 2: Congrats to you, honey, because you I mean, if listen,

571
00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:24,880
Speaker 2: a pandemic does I Like we said on the show,

572
00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 2: I get that it makes it harder to recruit. It

573
00:28:27,080 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 2: makes it harder for you to feel like, oh, you know,

574
00:28:29,760 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 2: they're my only option, there's not much else out there.

575
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,040
Speaker 2: But it goes the other way, honey, like it's hard

576
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:37,600
Speaker 2: for managers to recruit right now too, because they don't

577
00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 2: have the budgets to recruit and hire a whole new person.

578
00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 2: And this sounds like an internal promotion. It's probably a

579
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: lot easier to give you a raise than it is

580
00:28:44,240 --> 00:28:46,840
Speaker 2: for them to spend time and money going out there

581
00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 2: and recruiting a whole new hire who they're going to

582
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:51,480
Speaker 2: have to pay a lot more to poach. So I

583
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:53,840
Speaker 2: think this is fabulous and I'm glad you stub for yourself.

584
00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,800
Speaker 1: Yes, that's awesome. I love hearing that. So just there's

585
00:28:56,800 --> 00:29:00,560
Speaker 1: no excuses, you know, if you deliver, you and you're

586
00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:04,240
Speaker 1: able to illustrate the value to deliver. You know, there

587
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 1: are coins available, but it might not be that particular company,

588
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,360
Speaker 1: but there's somebody has the coins for you, so go

589
00:29:09,400 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: collect them. They belong to.

590
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,479
Speaker 2: You one thousand percent our next. This isn't someone we

591
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 2: answered a question for it, but she was really touched

592
00:29:16,880 --> 00:29:18,640
Speaker 2: by Tiffany. You know you shared your story about the

593
00:29:18,680 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 2: drama triangle, Yes, oh okay, and drama triangle reminding and

594
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:24,240
Speaker 2: this is this is.

595
00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,240
Speaker 1: The this is the emotional cattern. Yes, that I enter

596
00:29:28,320 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: into where it's like I'm the rescuer I do all things.

597
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 1: I do all the things, do all things to where

598
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,440
Speaker 1: I feel overwhelmed for someone, and then I become the victim.

599
00:29:36,480 --> 00:29:39,400
Speaker 1: This person's take advantage, They've taken advantage, and then I

600
00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 1: get to a point where I've had my fill full

601
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,840
Speaker 1: of victimhood, and then I become the persecutor. This person

602
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 1: is terrible. So I enter into that triangle over and

603
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 1: over and so many of my relationships, and it's a

604
00:29:50,160 --> 00:29:53,400
Speaker 1: pattern that I have that I'm observing and going to

605
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,040
Speaker 1: break if I want to do and be better. So

606
00:29:56,080 --> 00:29:56,560
Speaker 1: that's all.

607
00:29:56,960 --> 00:30:00,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, beautiful our listener from who send us some on

608
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 2: the Graham Jaqueline. She says, thank you so much, Tiffany

609
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:05,320
Speaker 2: for sharing. But the drama triangle. I've been going through

610
00:30:05,320 --> 00:30:07,400
Speaker 2: some issues with the family member for a while. Now

611
00:30:07,560 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 2: I've been learning how to set boundaries with her because

612
00:30:09,600 --> 00:30:11,720
Speaker 2: I realized I never have I always said yes to

613
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:14,760
Speaker 2: this person. Now she's reacting to me negatively because I

614
00:30:14,800 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 2: am setting boundaries. I felt bad for doing this at first,

615
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,040
Speaker 2: but now this is a confirmation to be that I

616
00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:23,120
Speaker 2: need to continue setting boundaries like you. I didn't know

617
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:24,960
Speaker 2: there was a name for it, so thank you. This

618
00:30:25,000 --> 00:30:26,480
Speaker 2: has opened my eyes so much.

619
00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's good. So many. If you find yourself to

620
00:30:31,000 --> 00:30:32,640
Speaker 1: be like you know, let's just say you would describe

621
00:30:32,680 --> 00:30:36,360
Speaker 1: yourself as an overgiver, you know, and you find yourself

622
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,040
Speaker 1: tired all the time or feeling kind of taken advantage of,

623
00:30:39,080 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: you likely are participating in the drama triangle. So do

624
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:43,680
Speaker 1: your googles, you know, watch a video on it so

625
00:30:43,680 --> 00:30:46,920
Speaker 1: you could be like, oh, so the key is. I

626
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 1: actually was talking to one of my friends about it

627
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,680
Speaker 1: today because she wanted to write this whole long letter

628
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 1: to a cousin of hers because she felt super taken

629
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,800
Speaker 1: advantage of. So I was asking her to give me examples,

630
00:30:57,160 --> 00:30:59,120
Speaker 1: and I said, She's like, well, I let her in

631
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:00,719
Speaker 1: my dress and my jewelry and this and this and this.

632
00:31:00,880 --> 00:31:02,280
Speaker 1: I said, does she come to your room and take

633
00:31:02,320 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 1: it it'? She's like no, I said, so, when she

634
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:07,959
Speaker 1: didn't give you back her dress, did you lend her

635
00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,320
Speaker 1: the necklace? When you lend her the dress, no necklace?

636
00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:11,720
Speaker 1: At a different time, I said, well, when she didn't

637
00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,920
Speaker 1: give you back her dress in your necklace, when did

638
00:31:13,960 --> 00:31:16,640
Speaker 1: you lend her the earrings or after that? So is

639
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:20,480
Speaker 1: she really a taker or just a receiver? Without you

640
00:31:20,520 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: see what I mean. So I had to really look

641
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,760
Speaker 1: at myself and say, oh, a lot of what I

642
00:31:25,800 --> 00:31:29,240
Speaker 1: am categorizing as this person is taking unless they really

643
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 1: did come and take these things from me. Because some

644
00:31:30,960 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 1: people are are you know, are like that malicious in

645
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:36,520
Speaker 1: their taking? Or is this person just an endless receiver?

646
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:40,200
Speaker 1: Because we have people in our lives that are good

647
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:43,120
Speaker 1: at setting boundaries for themselves. So my husband, although I'm

648
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:47,239
Speaker 1: an uber giver, he sets a boundary that says, when

649
00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:50,520
Speaker 1: Tiffany gets to hear, I stop her. So that's why

650
00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,840
Speaker 1: we have such a great relationship because he is not

651
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:55,880
Speaker 1: a bottomless pit of receiving. But a lot of people are.

652
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 1: They're not taking, They're just like, well, Tiffany is an adult.

653
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,640
Speaker 1: If it's too much, she will stop. If she doesn't stop,

654
00:32:01,680 --> 00:32:04,280
Speaker 1: I'll say I'll get taken or I'll keep receiving. So

655
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:08,680
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, so I'm learning through business coaching AKA

656
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:12,720
Speaker 1: Like it's like, honestly, it's therapy. Is that not to

657
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,080
Speaker 1: I won if I'm not giving from the light. So

658
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:16,720
Speaker 1: you can give from the light side or give from

659
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,760
Speaker 1: the shadow side, giving some of the light side of

660
00:32:18,800 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 1: when you're really just giving, because giving brings you joy,

661
00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:23,520
Speaker 1: like when I do something for my nieces and my nephew, like,

662
00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,520
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I love doing stuff for them. I'm

663
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 1: not expecting anything. Giving from the shadow side is giving

664
00:32:28,760 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 1: with expectation or giving because you're worried about what that

665
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,240
Speaker 1: person will think or feel. So giving from a place

666
00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,920
Speaker 1: of fear, and if you do that enough, you build

667
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,520
Speaker 1: up that resentment and then you become the victim, you

668
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:42,479
Speaker 1: see what I mean. So I was like, oh, so

669
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 1: I've actually been learning to say no. I literally have

670
00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 1: a list of like things that people are asking me

671
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,320
Speaker 1: to do, and I'm writing no next to them. So

672
00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,880
Speaker 1: i can say no because I do so much, not

673
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 1: because I actually want to do it, but because I'm

674
00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:58,680
Speaker 1: afraid if I don't, what will they say? What will

675
00:32:58,720 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 1: they think? That's not really giving, that's performative niceness.

676
00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:06,840
Speaker 2: And I didn't like that expressionative niceness.

677
00:33:06,880 --> 00:33:08,400
Speaker 1: And actually I just made that up for myself because

678
00:33:08,440 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 1: I don't know what my business coach called it, but

679
00:33:10,920 --> 00:33:12,880
Speaker 1: he was like, you're not giving from a place of light.

680
00:33:12,920 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 1: That's giving from a place of shadow, Tiffany, And I

681
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,840
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'm doing what's called what I call

682
00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,479
Speaker 1: performative nicest where I strive to be a nice person.

683
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,719
Speaker 1: Well that's not true. I do, but I also strive

684
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 1: to appeer to be a nice person. You see the distinction, Like, yes,

685
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: I want to be nice, of course, but I'm like,

686
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:37,240
Speaker 1: I really really want people to think I'm nice, So

687
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,240
Speaker 1: even when I'm not feeling nice, I will act nice

688
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 1: so people can be pleased with me. And it's a

689
00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:46,320
Speaker 1: habit that I've learned. I mean I can kind of

690
00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,000
Speaker 1: like trace it back to like this time in like

691
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,640
Speaker 1: seventh grade, when I just I had no friends, and

692
00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:50,920
Speaker 1: it was.

693
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:55,360
Speaker 2: A everything is to seventh grade, I mean, you just

694
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:56,400
Speaker 2: go on back to middle school.

695
00:33:56,960 --> 00:34:01,400
Speaker 1: It was so I learned to be overly pleasing in

696
00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,760
Speaker 1: middle school in an effort to make friends. And it worked, Tiffany,

697
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:06,520
Speaker 1: if you do people's homework, if you help them out,

698
00:34:06,520 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: if you do this, if you this it, you're funny,

699
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:10,080
Speaker 1: you're this is all the things. And it was like,

700
00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I have friends again. And so I

701
00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:17,080
Speaker 1: took that lesson which worked then, and I've continued to

702
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:19,760
Speaker 1: relive that over and over and over and over again,

703
00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,399
Speaker 1: where I'm like, well, it's important that people think you're nice.

704
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 1: It's important that people are happy with you even if

705
00:34:25,000 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 1: you are not wanting to do the thing. They cannot

706
00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:29,080
Speaker 1: know you don't want to do the thing, because then

707
00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 1: they're gonna say Tiffany's not nice, you know. And I'm like, oh,

708
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 1: and he said, so, what's the worst thing if someone

709
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: thinks that you're not nice? I'm like, I don't know.

710
00:34:39,320 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 1: So that's the question I have to answer for myself.

711
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:44,319
Speaker 1: So most people, if I say I can't do a thing,

712
00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 1: are fine. Most people are like, you know, hey, Mandy,

713
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,080
Speaker 1: can we tape on Tuesday instead of Wednesday? And sure,

714
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:51,680
Speaker 1: that's most people. There are gonna be a handful of

715
00:34:51,719 --> 00:34:54,759
Speaker 1: people who are gonna be you know what, No, I

716
00:34:54,760 --> 00:34:57,040
Speaker 1: don't know, you know. But the truth is most people

717
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:59,800
Speaker 1: don't care when I say no, you know, not no,

718
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,800
Speaker 1: like no, but like, oh, you know. Unfortunately I'm not

719
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 1: able to participate in that. In that webinar, most people

720
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: are like, okay, well thanks for considering. So I'm like,

721
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 1: this is what you're afraid of the Okay, thanks for considering.

722
00:35:10,040 --> 00:35:12,239
Speaker 1: Like I said, I it's something I'm trying. It's a

723
00:35:12,239 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 1: pattern I'm trying to unlearn because I don't want to

724
00:35:15,320 --> 00:35:19,840
Speaker 1: be performative nice because it's a miserable place to be

725
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,000
Speaker 1: because I find myself doing things that I really don't

726
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,920
Speaker 1: want to do because I'm afraid of what you'll think

727
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:28,360
Speaker 1: of or say, and I want to just be because honestly,

728
00:35:28,560 --> 00:35:31,719
Speaker 1: my regulativity self it's pretty nice. Not I'm not one

729
00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,760
Speaker 1: hundred percent nice, but regulativity self is a good eighty

730
00:35:34,760 --> 00:35:36,880
Speaker 1: five percent nice. It's like it's okay for fifteen percent

731
00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,040
Speaker 1: to be Like, I don't feel like doing it, even

732
00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 1: if it's a good thing, because that's why I feel guilty.

733
00:35:40,880 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 1: They're like, can you come speak to the homeless shelter

734
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,120
Speaker 1: in you know, New Brunswick. And I'm like, oh my gosh,

735
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,160
Speaker 1: I haven't like slept a full eight hours and like

736
00:35:49,200 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: three weeks I'm tired. And so although do runs for

737
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,800
Speaker 1: homework shelter homeless shelter is a good thing, I actually

738
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:56,560
Speaker 1: don't want to do it because I for once I

739
00:35:56,560 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 1: want to sleep in. But I'll do it because I

740
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:02,200
Speaker 1: can't say no, I'm a homeless shelter. I'm terrible if

741
00:36:02,239 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 1: I don't, and then I get sick the next week

742
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 1: and then you know, so it's not an easy thing.

743
00:36:07,719 --> 00:36:10,960
Speaker 1: So I just I encourage all of you supergivers to

744
00:36:11,080 --> 00:36:14,160
Speaker 1: really ask yourself, are you just performing your kindness and

745
00:36:14,200 --> 00:36:16,520
Speaker 1: performing your niceness? Are you giving from a place of

746
00:36:16,560 --> 00:36:20,120
Speaker 1: shadow or from a place of light? And you really

747
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:23,719
Speaker 1: want to make sure that when you are giving, that

748
00:36:23,719 --> 00:36:28,360
Speaker 1: that you're you're getting the return from the give, so

749
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:31,880
Speaker 1: meaning that like I'm if I'm doing something nice that

750
00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:35,000
Speaker 1: I know, I'm like, my friend was sick, so I

751
00:36:35,080 --> 00:36:37,360
Speaker 1: sent them vitamins, so like, there's this vitamin C that

752
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,680
Speaker 1: I really like, So I sent them vitamins. And so

753
00:36:39,719 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 1: my return on that investment and sending them vitamins was

754
00:36:42,600 --> 00:36:44,880
Speaker 1: I knew my friend was going to feel better, so

755
00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 1: if I'm waiting, well, so I didn't need anything. So

756
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,880
Speaker 1: my friend ended up like like cash affing me money,

757
00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 1: and I was like, if you don't keep this money,

758
00:36:53,760 --> 00:36:55,799
Speaker 1: so I sent it back. But if that was the

759
00:36:55,840 --> 00:36:59,200
Speaker 1: reason why I sent the vitamins, so that way they

760
00:36:59,200 --> 00:37:02,759
Speaker 1: can then give me my money back. You know, you're

761
00:37:02,840 --> 00:37:05,719
Speaker 1: looking for like your payout on the back end, and

762
00:37:05,800 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 1: you may or may not get it, and that's why

763
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 1: you feel the sink sense of like being used or

764
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 1: taking advantage of it. But that's not really true. So

765
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:15,680
Speaker 1: really giving with the sense of like, the giving itself

766
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:18,080
Speaker 1: is the gift that I'm leading. That is the return

767
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,400
Speaker 1: on investment, the fact that you're giving in itself. So

768
00:37:20,680 --> 00:37:22,840
Speaker 1: I'm practicing it so for those So this is a

769
00:37:22,840 --> 00:37:25,400
Speaker 1: little exercise that we can all do together. And this

770
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:27,480
Speaker 1: is what Zion, my business coach, said, So we're not

771
00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:31,360
Speaker 1: changing the pattern right now. We are going to celebrate

772
00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 1: the awareness. So I have been just my regulativity self still,

773
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 1: but when it happens, I'm saying, hey, you are perfect.

774
00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:43,480
Speaker 1: You are practicing performative niceness aware. Okay. So that's the

775
00:37:43,520 --> 00:37:46,560
Speaker 1: first step. It's just as you're going through to say

776
00:37:46,600 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 1: to like put it like a sticky note on it.

777
00:37:48,400 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 1: Oh you're doing it again, okay, But to celebrate the awareness,

778
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:54,319
Speaker 1: not to make yourself feel bad in the awareness. It's

779
00:37:54,360 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 1: just we're just that way you can start to notice

780
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:58,799
Speaker 1: your patterns and then I'll learn what's the next step,

781
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,480
Speaker 1: because I don't know. So right now I'm just being like, oh,

782
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,319
Speaker 1: look at you doing it. Girl. You know you don't

783
00:38:02,320 --> 00:38:05,240
Speaker 1: want to do that, okay, but we're celebrating it. Okay,

784
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:07,919
Speaker 1: good job, we see you, Tiffany, And.

785
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:11,200
Speaker 2: So like, yeah, so who boundaries? How do you know

786
00:38:11,200 --> 00:38:14,880
Speaker 2: who your real friends are I just I love a boundary.

787
00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:17,320
Speaker 1: That's what I'm just like, honest, see, I'm and what

788
00:38:17,440 --> 00:38:21,160
Speaker 1: I've noticed Mandy is like you, there are prototype friends

789
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:25,520
Speaker 1: that I attract to me, and you fit into one

790
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,920
Speaker 1: of the prototypes. So I've got prototype friends who are

791
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,279
Speaker 1: like so I have like myself, like who are super

792
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,880
Speaker 1: super givers? Right, So that's like my husband, but he

793
00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:37,400
Speaker 1: also there's another prototype that he feels and it's you.

794
00:38:37,840 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: I love friends like you because it's like through you,

795
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 1: I'm like, look at Mandy just over there saying no

796
00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,160
Speaker 1: and like still people like her. How does she manage?

797
00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:48,120
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Like, I just that's one

798
00:38:48,160 --> 00:38:49,520
Speaker 1: of the things I love about you is that you're

799
00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:52,160
Speaker 1: just like, yeah, no, that's not a fit or you

800
00:38:52,200 --> 00:38:54,319
Speaker 1: know what, it doesn't feel right or you know. I mean,

801
00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 1: I'm terribied of like people being like I Haye, Tiffany.

802
00:38:58,040 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 1: I don't know where that comes from, but like I,

803
00:39:00,520 --> 00:39:03,200
Speaker 1: it's so I find myself seeking out. It's almost like

804
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 1: maybe a through osmosis, I can like get some of

805
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:09,480
Speaker 1: that mandyism where you're like you're pretty clear on yes

806
00:39:09,520 --> 00:39:13,080
Speaker 1: to this, know to this, unapologetic, like I didn't kick

807
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:14,520
Speaker 1: your puppy so you'll be.

808
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,839
Speaker 2: Fun or you know that you can tell me what

809
00:39:16,880 --> 00:39:19,040
Speaker 2: it is and I won't. I won't hold you like

810
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 2: I won't if you set a boundary yourself, I'll be

811
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 2: cheering you on, or I'll set one for you exactly so.

812
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,239
Speaker 2: But the friends that I have who don't send I

813
00:39:28,280 --> 00:39:30,399
Speaker 2: have found this way because as a person who loves

814
00:39:30,400 --> 00:39:32,600
Speaker 2: a boundary and have done it for my own self preservation.

815
00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:36,040
Speaker 2: Just unknowingly, listen, I'm also in real therapy, not real

816
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:37,799
Speaker 2: I didn't mean to say that real therapy, like you're

817
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,400
Speaker 2: not in therapy. No, I'm not business therapy. I'm in

818
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:44,720
Speaker 2: the psychoanalis kind of therapy. But what I have found

819
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:47,440
Speaker 2: is I was a little insecure about all the boundaries

820
00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: I was setting. You know, is it keeping me from

821
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:51,799
Speaker 2: relationships that I might have? You know, because I leave

822
00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:54,920
Speaker 2: jobs and I'm not the one who has seventeen or

823
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,319
Speaker 2: you know, twenty coworkers that they still catch up with.

824
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 2: I maybe have one or two. And I've got friends

825
00:39:59,680 --> 00:40:01,799
Speaker 2: of mine from previous jobs who will be friends with

826
00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:03,839
Speaker 2: everyone from the old job and go to all their

827
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:06,720
Speaker 2: parties and their weddings and YadA YadA. But I realized

828
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:09,319
Speaker 2: when I talk to that person about the parties or

829
00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:11,440
Speaker 2: they get together as they go to they're never happy

830
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:13,160
Speaker 2: about it. They're like, oh, I got dragged to this

831
00:40:13,280 --> 00:40:15,279
Speaker 2: day party where they played music, and I just like,

832
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,680
Speaker 2: I'm so tired. And they never seem joyful about the

833
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:21,840
Speaker 2: interactions they have with those friends. And I think, I

834
00:40:21,840 --> 00:40:23,879
Speaker 2: think you're absolutely right. And I don't have too much

835
00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: to add to it other than to say that I

836
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:28,200
Speaker 2: love a boundary and I one hundred percent feel like,

837
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:31,640
Speaker 2: just follow what is true to yourself and it will

838
00:40:31,640 --> 00:40:34,040
Speaker 2: be in the right direction and have confidence in that.

839
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,520
Speaker 2: And I've only come to have confidence in my strategy

840
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:40,000
Speaker 2: for happiness, I would say, in the last couple of years.

841
00:40:40,560 --> 00:40:42,680
Speaker 2: So I love it, and thank you for going back

842
00:40:42,719 --> 00:40:45,920
Speaker 2: into it, because the second time you told this story,

843
00:40:46,160 --> 00:40:49,600
Speaker 2: I'm feeling it more as a mother, that fact that

844
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 2: I will say, I will put down my work, interrupt

845
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 2: a conference call that I like I did today, and

846
00:40:55,719 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 2: go take the baby so that hus by can have

847
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:00,959
Speaker 2: a sandwich. Meanwhile I'm glaring at him the whole time

848
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 2: and turning off my video so I can glare at

849
00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:06,120
Speaker 2: him properly and they don't see me. And then muting

850
00:41:06,120 --> 00:41:08,120
Speaker 2: myself so I can say nasty things to him while

851
00:41:08,120 --> 00:41:11,680
Speaker 2: I'm holding the baby. What if I just said, nah, brah,

852
00:41:11,840 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 2: you hold the baby and eat a sandwich at the

853
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,800
Speaker 2: same time, because I do that all the time. Yeah,

854
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 2: so you set yourself up a failure and that's a stand.

855
00:41:20,400 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 1: About why so so what else? What was some other updates?

856
00:41:25,680 --> 00:41:26,600
Speaker 1: Any other updates?

857
00:41:26,880 --> 00:41:28,799
Speaker 2: Well, this is sort of a riff off of so

858
00:41:29,239 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 2: on a previous show, Tiffany, you shared an anecdote about

859
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,400
Speaker 2: how you felt like your home when you got it appraised.

860
00:41:35,440 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 2: At the time, you were thinking about doing a cash

861
00:41:37,160 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 2: out refinance, so you got your home appraised and you

862
00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:41,759
Speaker 2: felt that the appraisal came in lower than with a

863
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:44,359
Speaker 2: true value the home was and you we talked about

864
00:41:44,360 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 2: systemic racism and lending discrimination and how what was the

865
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 2: statistic that you shared about black homes being appraised? How much?

866
00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:52,880
Speaker 1: On hours about I think it was a New York

867
00:41:52,920 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 1: Times said about twenty three percent less.

868
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:57,880
Speaker 2: Right, and you were proof positive of that. What was

869
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:00,280
Speaker 2: interesting about your story is you know you were sharing

870
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 2: it and I'm going to own up to this. I

871
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,400
Speaker 2: was even thinking, Oh, it wasn't that much less like

872
00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,400
Speaker 2: what was she really discriminated against, Like this is not

873
00:42:07,480 --> 00:42:09,160
Speaker 2: as strong as my voice was at the time, but

874
00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:11,960
Speaker 2: I had that little niggling doubt in my mind, and

875
00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:15,680
Speaker 2: I think a lot of black and brown people you

876
00:42:16,360 --> 00:42:19,839
Speaker 2: question the reality that you're facing, Like you question what's

877
00:42:19,880 --> 00:42:23,040
Speaker 2: that That's what they call it microaggressions, Like what's that discrimination?

878
00:42:23,360 --> 00:42:24,480
Speaker 2: Am I overreacting?

879
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 1: I felt like that too. I was like, well, it

880
00:42:26,239 --> 00:42:28,360
Speaker 1: was like ten twenty thousand dollars is it? And honestly,

881
00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:31,319
Speaker 1: I can honestly say I don't know, but I know

882
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 1: the fact that I have to even consider that it

883
00:42:34,280 --> 00:42:36,080
Speaker 1: is a problem exactly.

884
00:42:36,160 --> 00:42:38,160
Speaker 2: So there was a story that one of our listeners

885
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:41,880
Speaker 2: actually sent us on Instagram where it was such a

886
00:42:41,960 --> 00:42:46,560
Speaker 2: blatant example of discrimination and appraisal and let me think

887
00:42:46,560 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 2: of you, and it made me think, damn it, like

888
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 2: why did it take this really dramatic story for me

889
00:42:51,280 --> 00:42:54,400
Speaker 2: to take Tiffany's story at face value? And that is

890
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 2: something that you know, I'm unpacking. But let me just

891
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 2: read a quick So this is only posted four days

892
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 2: ago on Facebook and it's been shared twenty three thousand

893
00:43:02,400 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 2: times on Facebook. I think it was like ten thousand

894
00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,919
Speaker 2: times by the time someone that Instagram follower or shared

895
00:43:07,920 --> 00:43:10,440
Speaker 2: it with us. But this person on Instagram or sorry

896
00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,000
Speaker 2: on Facebook, it's a public post for an awswe I'll

897
00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:16,640
Speaker 2: post a link to our show notes. She says, on

898
00:43:16,680 --> 00:43:18,960
Speaker 2: the topic of generation wealth, we needed to get our

899
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,560
Speaker 2: home appraise. The appraiser came by and he was immediately unpleasant,

900
00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:26,960
Speaker 2: making one rude comment after another. He expressed exaggerated surprise

901
00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,480
Speaker 2: when he saw me, a woman of color, working at

902
00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,719
Speaker 2: my home office during the walkthrough. At the end of it,

903
00:43:31,760 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 2: we received an appraisal result that was so low that

904
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 2: it was laughable. We appraised lower than neighboring home sales

905
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:41,440
Speaker 2: with fewer bathrooms, fewer bedrooms, significantly lower square footage, and

906
00:43:41,560 --> 00:43:44,400
Speaker 2: half the land. I knew immediately what needed to happen.

907
00:43:44,800 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 2: We ordered a second appraisal and took down all family

908
00:43:48,040 --> 00:43:51,840
Speaker 2: photos containing black relatives. We took down all pictures of

909
00:43:51,920 --> 00:43:55,440
Speaker 2: African American grades that we displayed to inspire our son. Zora'

910
00:43:55,480 --> 00:43:58,600
Speaker 2: Neil Hurston and Tony Morrison came down from the bookshelves.

911
00:43:58,719 --> 00:44:01,360
Speaker 2: Shakespeare went up. My son and I took a convenient

912
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:05,000
Speaker 2: shopping trip during the appraisal, leaving my white male husband

913
00:44:05,040 --> 00:44:09,080
Speaker 2: to show the appraiser around alone, we appraised, Oh, this

914
00:44:09,160 --> 00:44:12,120
Speaker 2: is gonna kill me. We appraised one hundred and sixty

915
00:44:12,200 --> 00:44:16,520
Speaker 2: two thousand dollars higher the second time around, the amount

916
00:44:16,640 --> 00:44:18,160
Speaker 2: of an entire house.

917
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,120
Speaker 1: In some higher freaking house.

918
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:25,840
Speaker 2: Thanks thank you to this woman for sharing this story.

919
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:29,080
Speaker 2: And it seems like she's very a huge advocate for

920
00:44:29,120 --> 00:44:33,720
Speaker 2: people of like racism and social justice and all these things.

921
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:39,960
Speaker 2: She says. Racism silently but conspicuously steals wealth. Racism, waste time, racism,

922
00:44:40,080 --> 00:44:43,000
Speaker 2: racist blood pressure, racism makes me hate myself for my

923
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:45,719
Speaker 2: calm acceptance of what I had to do and have

924
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 2: always had to achieve a fair results from a place

925
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:53,320
Speaker 2: of anguish to sort through my emotions. I want better

926
00:44:53,320 --> 00:44:53,839
Speaker 2: for my son.

927
00:44:54,719 --> 00:44:58,359
Speaker 1: That's the fact that I was like, oh, you know what,

928
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:00,319
Speaker 1: you know, when I do a good appraisal in this house,

929
00:45:00,320 --> 00:45:02,319
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get Katherine to come. You know, Cautin's white,

930
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:02,919
Speaker 1: she's super white.

931
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:04,520
Speaker 2: Your friend, you had it all playing.

932
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:09,239
Speaker 1: The fact that calm acceptance of this is just what

933
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 1: you have to do. Tiffany. Don't touch things in the

934
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 1: store that you're not gonna buy. I can freaking buy

935
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:15,400
Speaker 1: this store, but don't you touch anything because you just

936
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:19,880
Speaker 1: want any trouble, you know, like accept poor behavior. Except

937
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:23,080
Speaker 1: I just that's the part that it's so like I said,

938
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:24,759
Speaker 1: it's like that abusive. This is what I mentioned in

939
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:26,640
Speaker 1: the in the in the Race and Money rant on

940
00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:30,520
Speaker 1: ig and my ig TV post is where I was

941
00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:33,480
Speaker 1: just like it truly is an abusive relationship with America

942
00:45:33,560 --> 00:45:36,520
Speaker 1: that you get punched and hit and hair pulled so

943
00:45:36,800 --> 00:45:41,359
Speaker 1: often that you've learned to accept the abuse even though,

944
00:45:41,360 --> 00:45:43,799
Speaker 1: like you know it's not right, but you've learned how

945
00:45:43,840 --> 00:45:46,799
Speaker 1: to manage through the abuse until one day you're out

946
00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:48,960
Speaker 1: of the shower and you walk by a window and

947
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,120
Speaker 1: you see your body full of bruises, some old, some new,

948
00:45:53,040 --> 00:45:56,200
Speaker 1: and you're just like, what the entire hell? And it's

949
00:45:56,239 --> 00:45:58,719
Speaker 1: times like this that make you say that, and then

950
00:45:58,760 --> 00:46:01,279
Speaker 1: you you have to you start to replay all of

951
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:04,880
Speaker 1: this abuse that you've that you've like lived through, and

952
00:46:04,920 --> 00:46:07,879
Speaker 1: you're just like, well, what do I do with this?

953
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:10,759
Speaker 1: I'm minus the abusive relationship. I don't know where else

954
00:46:10,800 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 1: to go? I know this is wrong? What do I do?

955
00:46:14,880 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 1: And that's why you see some people raging and some

956
00:46:17,040 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 1: people rioted, some people you know, protested peacefully. But that's

957
00:46:20,800 --> 00:46:23,760
Speaker 1: why you see, it's because we walk by the mirror

958
00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 1: and we're seeing the bruises old and new, and we

959
00:46:27,800 --> 00:46:30,040
Speaker 1: know that there are more bruises to come, and we've

960
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:33,680
Speaker 1: had enough. And it's just look to you to your point,

961
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,680
Speaker 1: manny where I'm even questioning myself. Will take now you

962
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:38,720
Speaker 1: buck and girl, because maybe you know what's ten twenty

963
00:46:38,719 --> 00:46:42,160
Speaker 1: thousand dollars? I'm sorry, what's ten twenty thousand dollars? Does

964
00:46:42,200 --> 00:46:44,759
Speaker 1: anyone else have to say that? You know the fact

965
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:48,240
Speaker 1: that my my realtor was like, that's your that's your

966
00:46:48,719 --> 00:46:52,040
Speaker 1: your your homeowners insurance your house and praises for about

967
00:46:52,080 --> 00:46:54,040
Speaker 1: four hundred thousand minus one point too. We pay the

968
00:46:54,160 --> 00:47:00,040
Speaker 1: same amount in home owner's insurance. He was shocked you

969
00:47:00,120 --> 00:47:04,120
Speaker 1: had the same exact homeowners insurance company. And I had

970
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:06,760
Speaker 1: a woman in my comments say, well, as an insurance company,

971
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:11,360
Speaker 1: it's because shut up, ma'am. It's not reasonable that my house,

972
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 1: which is worth one third his house, should be I

973
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:17,480
Speaker 1: should be paying insurance at such a high rate in comparison.

974
00:47:17,719 --> 00:47:20,239
Speaker 1: Shut the entire hell up. That is wealth lost to

975
00:47:20,320 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 1: my family from the house being a praise for less,

976
00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:26,520
Speaker 1: from paying more to homeowner's insurance to being paid less

977
00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:28,880
Speaker 1: as a black woman. So you add all those things up,

978
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 1: and then you're like, if black people would just only

979
00:47:30,320 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 1: work harder, wouldn't be a wealth gob Shut the entire

980
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 1: hell up. I'm supposed to outwork racism.

981
00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:39,600
Speaker 2: How You're right, you know you're Tiffany, and I'm complicit

982
00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:43,759
Speaker 2: because I kept it moving like. Your story made me

983
00:47:43,800 --> 00:47:47,880
Speaker 2: think about some uncomfortable things about my homeowner, my home purchase,

984
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:50,759
Speaker 2: and the fact that I purchased her from a black homeowner,

985
00:47:50,880 --> 00:47:53,319
Speaker 2: a black couple, and I knew they were black because

986
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,680
Speaker 2: they didn't they did not take down any of the

987
00:47:55,800 --> 00:47:58,359
Speaker 2: artifacts around the house that let me mean they had

988
00:47:58,360 --> 00:48:02,880
Speaker 2: a black black but black figurines as their salt and

989
00:48:02,920 --> 00:48:07,720
Speaker 2: pepper shakers and pictures of his name is Ed, the

990
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:11,719
Speaker 2: previous homeowner. You know, his his pictures from the Vietnam War,

991
00:48:11,760 --> 00:48:13,440
Speaker 2: his military pictures. I forget if he was in the

992
00:48:13,560 --> 00:48:16,680
Speaker 2: army or what, but he's a veteran and I, honestly,

993
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:20,759
Speaker 2: I reacted so warmly to that, to those photos and

994
00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:22,200
Speaker 2: to the fact that we were buying it from a

995
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 2: beautiful black couple whose love was so apparent in their home.

996
00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:29,560
Speaker 2: But not everyone is like that. I get that and

997
00:48:31,200 --> 00:48:33,759
Speaker 2: part of me is like, hell, yeah, Rosemary need thanks

998
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:36,440
Speaker 2: for not hiding your identity. But would they have gotten

999
00:48:36,480 --> 00:48:39,440
Speaker 2: more offers on the home? Would they you know, have

1000
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:43,440
Speaker 2: gotten a would their house have appraised for more? Because

1001
00:48:43,480 --> 00:48:45,520
Speaker 2: the appraisal came in a little bit lower than what

1002
00:48:45,560 --> 00:48:47,640
Speaker 2: their asking price was and we took advantage of that

1003
00:48:47,719 --> 00:48:49,440
Speaker 2: and got the house for like I think it was

1004
00:48:49,440 --> 00:48:54,240
Speaker 2: maybe five or ten k cheaper. But was it because

1005
00:48:54,239 --> 00:48:56,480
Speaker 2: of their race? Because the neighborhood we're in is not

1006
00:48:57,080 --> 00:48:59,680
Speaker 2: majority white, because there are you know, there is a

1007
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:02,440
Speaker 2: good presentation of minorities, and because they're very clearly a

1008
00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:04,360
Speaker 2: black couple. If you come into their home and you

1009
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:07,839
Speaker 2: bother to look around, you can see those signs. Yeah,

1010
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:09,960
Speaker 2: and you're storting me a little bit uncomfortable and it

1011
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:12,680
Speaker 2: but I didn't want to see it, and I think

1012
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:17,880
Speaker 2: even a black woman like me I will. It's like

1013
00:49:17,920 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 2: you said, we have these moments in our life and

1014
00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,960
Speaker 2: sometimes to keep moving to keep our good mood going,

1015
00:49:23,520 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 2: to just keep you know, trying to believe that you

1016
00:49:26,840 --> 00:49:30,200
Speaker 2: have possibility in this country that things can work out

1017
00:49:30,239 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 2: for you because you're different, because you're smarter and you're educated,

1018
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:35,640
Speaker 2: et cetera. You don't want to hear it, and I

1019
00:49:35,840 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 2: so I'm sorry for even not hearing it. But I

1020
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:41,120
Speaker 2: acknowledge that.

1021
00:49:39,880 --> 00:49:41,759
Speaker 1: That there is a black tax. There is a.

1022
00:49:41,719 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 2: Black tax, one hundred percent. I'm not and I'm not

1023
00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:47,759
Speaker 2: immune from it either, No one is.

1024
00:49:48,080 --> 00:49:51,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like it's just sometimes it's just because

1025
00:49:51,320 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 1: you're just like you don't want to be the reason

1026
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:54,560
Speaker 1: why you kind of like, you know, you let it

1027
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,879
Speaker 1: roll because you want to be hopeless. You don't want

1028
00:49:56,920 --> 00:50:00,000
Speaker 1: to tell you there's no because then what's the alternative,

1029
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,319
Speaker 1: the alternative to say there's nothing I could do about it.

1030
00:50:02,360 --> 00:50:04,239
Speaker 1: Guess life is just harder for me no matter what, Like,

1031
00:50:04,440 --> 00:50:07,160
Speaker 1: what's the alternative? You know, this is why you have,

1032
00:50:07,760 --> 00:50:11,759
Speaker 1: you know, slaves singing spirituals in cotton fields, because what

1033
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,960
Speaker 1: is the alternative? Do I just lay down and die

1034
00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,920
Speaker 1: here or do I hold onto some hope in the future.

1035
00:50:17,600 --> 00:50:20,279
Speaker 2: You know, resilience is an act of survival.

1036
00:50:20,440 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is the purpose? Like you know, we just yeah,

1037
00:50:24,320 --> 00:50:26,040
Speaker 1: it's like I said, it's hard and hope.

1038
00:50:26,080 --> 00:50:29,239
Speaker 2: I mean, well, one of the really useless time, I

1039
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:31,200
Speaker 2: was reading some of the comments she got, and they're like, oh,

1040
00:50:31,239 --> 00:50:33,600
Speaker 2: you should report this to the CFPP or the FTC.

1041
00:50:34,239 --> 00:50:37,719
Speaker 2: I am really tired of people putting the onus on

1042
00:50:37,880 --> 00:50:42,680
Speaker 2: the victim to report certain behaviors. I get how I mean,

1043
00:50:42,920 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 2: I get how people are trying to be helpful, but

1044
00:50:45,040 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 2: I think it is upon us to hold our representatives

1045
00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:52,040
Speaker 2: in our states and our local governments and yes on

1046
00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:56,480
Speaker 2: Capitol Hill responsible for holding the banks responsible, the lenders,

1047
00:50:56,520 --> 00:51:00,600
Speaker 2: the bad actors, because they have the power. They wrote

1048
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:04,840
Speaker 2: the law that enacted institutions like the Federal Trade Commission,

1049
00:51:04,880 --> 00:51:08,720
Speaker 2: like the Consumer Financial Protection the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.

1050
00:51:08,800 --> 00:51:12,200
Speaker 2: Let me say the entire name of that organization, which

1051
00:51:12,239 --> 00:51:15,800
Speaker 2: has been systematically dtoothed. Is that the word like d toothed,

1052
00:51:17,840 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 2: I don't know, ripped apart? Yeah, thanks, I did have

1053
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,960
Speaker 2: a big glass of white wine and no dinner, just

1054
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:27,799
Speaker 2: you know, being transparent. Over the past few years, since

1055
00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:33,200
Speaker 2: Trump was elected, they have completely cut the CFPB down

1056
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:36,280
Speaker 2: at the knees, which was an institution that Elizabeth Warren

1057
00:51:36,320 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 2: herself spearheaded during the Obama administration. Anyway, like, these institutions

1058
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:43,799
Speaker 2: should be the ones that are fighting for us, and

1059
00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 2: you need to contact your local representatives and tell them

1060
00:51:46,680 --> 00:51:49,080
Speaker 2: your stories because they're the ones who are being paid

1061
00:51:49,400 --> 00:51:52,319
Speaker 2: by our tax dollars, by the way, to defend us.

1062
00:51:52,400 --> 00:51:54,520
Speaker 2: And it is not our job to. It is not

1063
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:57,680
Speaker 2: our job to. Unfortunately it has become our job to

1064
00:51:57,760 --> 00:51:59,560
Speaker 2: fight and get in the streets and get mad and

1065
00:51:59,560 --> 00:52:02,200
Speaker 2: get last. But they should be held accountable and we

1066
00:52:02,200 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 2: need to vote with these issues in mind. What are

1067
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:10,960
Speaker 2: you doing to promote black homeownership and fair lending practices

1068
00:52:11,040 --> 00:52:14,440
Speaker 2: for black and brown homeowners or home purchasers? Like what

1069
00:52:14,480 --> 00:52:16,200
Speaker 2: are you doing for us? We need to ask these

1070
00:52:16,280 --> 00:52:19,880
Speaker 2: questions and be cognizant of the power that they hold.

1071
00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:23,880
Speaker 1: Honestly, if I was like some tech genius engineer, I

1072
00:52:23,920 --> 00:52:26,760
Speaker 1: would create like some sort of like appraisal gun.

1073
00:52:27,280 --> 00:52:30,120
Speaker 2: We're not going to blind appraisal, yes.

1074
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 1: Exactly where it's like you know how like when you

1075
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:33,960
Speaker 1: go to a store, Like if you've ever bought anything

1076
00:52:34,040 --> 00:52:36,719
Speaker 1: for someone who's like, oh, I'm registered at Target and

1077
00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,319
Speaker 1: they give you like the that like you like, you know,

1078
00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:40,839
Speaker 1: scan all the things that you want to be on

1079
00:52:40,880 --> 00:52:44,279
Speaker 1: your thing. So imagine that you could literally scan your

1080
00:52:44,280 --> 00:52:46,520
Speaker 1: home because I've seen this, like when people do virtual tours,

1081
00:52:46,560 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 1: it's because they're doing this like scanner thing. You know,

1082
00:52:49,280 --> 00:52:51,839
Speaker 1: you can scan your home you put all these things in,

1083
00:52:51,880 --> 00:52:54,040
Speaker 1: like how many bedroom, bathrooms all that, and it just

1084
00:52:54,080 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 1: goes into a machine and it says, this is the appraisal,

1085
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:01,040
Speaker 1: and the machine pulls based upon square footage and this

1086
00:53:01,080 --> 00:53:04,680
Speaker 1: and that. It pulls the comps based upon the actual facts,

1087
00:53:04,920 --> 00:53:08,000
Speaker 1: not who freaking lives here, not the color of your skin.

1088
00:53:08,120 --> 00:53:10,399
Speaker 1: They're like, you know, you're their appraisal. Gun, it's taking

1089
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,400
Speaker 1: do do do do? Okay, this is this is how

1090
00:53:12,440 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 1: big the house is, this is all the things, this

1091
00:53:13,719 --> 00:53:15,719
Speaker 1: is what other house is sold for. This is how

1092
00:53:15,800 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 1: much you know, It's like what I do with fair

1093
00:53:19,239 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 1: pay for for the for my staff. Right, So we

1094
00:53:23,160 --> 00:53:25,920
Speaker 1: have a short a chart with you know, you know

1095
00:53:25,960 --> 00:53:27,960
Speaker 1: what color you are. You know what color you are

1096
00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,919
Speaker 1: based upon how many responsibilities you have. But you also

1097
00:53:30,920 --> 00:53:32,960
Speaker 1: know because we tell you your personal color. So no one

1098
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:36,120
Speaker 1: knows your color, but everyone knows all the pay They're like, oh,

1099
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:39,799
Speaker 1: purple makes between thirty and sixty oh or pink makes

1100
00:53:39,800 --> 00:53:42,719
Speaker 1: between you know, sixty and one hundred, and so you

1101
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:46,520
Speaker 1: fall within that range based upon your color, the color

1102
00:53:46,560 --> 00:53:49,720
Speaker 1: that you are, based upon the responsibilities that you hold,

1103
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,360
Speaker 1: and basically how long you've been here. And there are

1104
00:53:52,400 --> 00:53:54,480
Speaker 1: bonuses that we give you know, based upon like you

1105
00:53:54,520 --> 00:53:57,240
Speaker 1: know your how well that you do. But it leads

1106
00:53:57,280 --> 00:53:59,960
Speaker 1: so it's like you're not wondering, well, it's the guy

1107
00:54:00,160 --> 00:54:02,560
Speaker 1: getting paid more. It's like if he's blue, he's getting

1108
00:54:02,560 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 1: paid blue, you know, and.

1109
00:54:05,360 --> 00:54:08,920
Speaker 2: Said, you tell people, yeah, you make it transparent. And

1110
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 2: as a business owner and I myself as a hiring manager,

1111
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 2: have many times said, why are we gonna make this

1112
00:54:14,040 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 2: person negotiate? Why don't we just give them more, best

1113
00:54:16,200 --> 00:54:18,240
Speaker 2: and final? Why do we need to put the onus

1114
00:54:18,280 --> 00:54:21,239
Speaker 2: on them to like what we have the power? We

1115
00:54:21,360 --> 00:54:23,640
Speaker 2: are the ones with the advantage here. Why are we

1116
00:54:23,840 --> 00:54:28,160
Speaker 2: pretending like it is really important for this person to

1117
00:54:28,440 --> 00:54:30,920
Speaker 2: figure out what they can get from us. Let's just

1118
00:54:30,960 --> 00:54:34,080
Speaker 2: cut the bullshit and ask people for like, give them

1119
00:54:34,080 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 2: an offer for what they're worth and be firm in that.

1120
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,520
Speaker 2: Like it drives me nuts. That's how I act as

1121
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:41,319
Speaker 2: a hiring manager, and that is one of the things

1122
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:44,520
Speaker 2: that I'm really pushing my company to change because I'm

1123
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:46,360
Speaker 2: like that as a hiring manager because I know what

1124
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:47,640
Speaker 2: it's like to be on the other side as a

1125
00:54:47,640 --> 00:54:50,080
Speaker 2: woman of color and to not know anything about what

1126
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:52,799
Speaker 2: I'm asking for, what I'm worth because I don't have

1127
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:54,560
Speaker 2: the friends and family who can tell me and help

1128
00:54:54,560 --> 00:54:58,600
Speaker 2: me out. But I'm unique. I genuinely feel that in

1129
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,839
Speaker 2: the company and other people should be trained and how

1130
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:02,560
Speaker 2: to do that, and we should. It shouldn't be that hard.

1131
00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:05,719
Speaker 2: And I'm fucking tired. I saw a Twitter throw from

1132
00:55:05,760 --> 00:55:07,480
Speaker 2: one of my writers about a previous job that she

1133
00:55:07,600 --> 00:55:09,919
Speaker 2: had and how she felt like it was her fault

1134
00:55:09,960 --> 00:55:12,399
Speaker 2: for not asking for more. No, it's not, it's not.

1135
00:55:12,640 --> 00:55:14,920
Speaker 2: It is on us. The people with power should be

1136
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:19,160
Speaker 2: the ones not abusing it, but using it to create

1137
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:22,799
Speaker 2: the equality that people deserve. It's on us. If I

1138
00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:26,920
Speaker 2: see one more article about how women should negotiate better

1139
00:55:27,160 --> 00:55:29,200
Speaker 2: and how women should learn how to ask for X

1140
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,319
Speaker 2: y Z, or how you as a black person, can

1141
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:34,920
Speaker 2: you know just just you know, fade yourself a little

1142
00:55:34,920 --> 00:55:38,720
Speaker 2: bit to get a higher salary. You know, hydra LinkedIn picture,

1143
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 2: you know, hydro Airbnb photo, You'll get a higher rate

1144
00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:43,480
Speaker 2: for your Like, this is.

1145
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:45,640
Speaker 1: Bullshit, it is, but that's what she Do you think

1146
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:47,640
Speaker 1: I didn't hide my IBMB photo. Of course I always

1147
00:55:47,680 --> 00:55:49,640
Speaker 1: hide my freaking I put like an airplane there when

1148
00:55:49,680 --> 00:55:52,399
Speaker 1: I'm looking for a place, which is crazy, but it's

1149
00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:54,799
Speaker 1: just like, Okay, that's just what you have to do.

1150
00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,759
Speaker 2: Like yeah, so it can't be that way. It's on

1151
00:55:57,840 --> 00:56:01,239
Speaker 2: companies and it's on us to hold them accountable. And yes,

1152
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:04,239
Speaker 2: I'm as tired as anybody holding these companies just like

1153
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:07,120
Speaker 2: getting them convinced to do the right damn thing. And

1154
00:56:07,160 --> 00:56:09,680
Speaker 2: we have got to again. I think it's very important

1155
00:56:09,680 --> 00:56:12,560
Speaker 2: for people like Tiffany myself. Eventually in the future, I

1156
00:56:12,560 --> 00:56:15,600
Speaker 2: imagine myself starting something on my own and to change

1157
00:56:15,640 --> 00:56:18,719
Speaker 2: the way businesses operate and operate from this place from

1158
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:21,440
Speaker 2: the beginning, so we don't have to just go and

1159
00:56:21,560 --> 00:56:23,640
Speaker 2: learn it later when all of a sudden someone calls

1160
00:56:23,680 --> 00:56:26,400
Speaker 2: us out and we get embarrassed. This has to be

1161
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:29,000
Speaker 2: the new norm, one hundred percent. You guys got to vote.

1162
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:32,000
Speaker 2: You got to contact your legislators. They check their email.

1163
00:56:32,040 --> 00:56:35,120
Speaker 2: You got to contact them, call them, ask the questions,

1164
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:39,480
Speaker 2: share your stories with them. It's not time. Now is

1165
00:56:39,520 --> 00:56:41,879
Speaker 2: the time? Now is the momentum is behind us. We've

1166
00:56:41,880 --> 00:56:43,759
Speaker 2: got to share these stories. And I'm so glad this

1167
00:56:43,800 --> 00:56:46,239
Speaker 2: woman has. I don't know how her story ended, but

1168
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:48,879
Speaker 2: as far as I'm concerned, she has nothing to do.

1169
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:53,440
Speaker 2: She needs to share her story with her local representatives,

1170
00:56:53,880 --> 00:56:56,360
Speaker 2: and like she did on Facebook, it's getting the story

1171
00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:59,279
Speaker 2: out there. Now it's on us who have seen her

1172
00:56:59,280 --> 00:57:02,040
Speaker 2: story to amplify her voice and for people in power

1173
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:04,799
Speaker 2: to do something about it. Not her. She did the

1174
00:57:04,840 --> 00:57:08,160
Speaker 2: right thing to do. She got a second opinion, and

1175
00:57:08,760 --> 00:57:10,520
Speaker 2: that is what you can do. That's in your power.

1176
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,440
Speaker 2: Your power as a consumer in this system for the

1177
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:16,240
Speaker 2: time being, is to get second I mean, unfortunately it

1178
00:57:16,280 --> 00:57:19,760
Speaker 2: costs extra money to get another appraisal, but get multiple appraisals,

1179
00:57:19,800 --> 00:57:24,480
Speaker 2: get multiple loan office loan offers, make people negotiate, make

1180
00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:27,040
Speaker 2: them compete for your business. That's what you have in

1181
00:57:27,080 --> 00:57:32,240
Speaker 2: your control. Who Okay, that cause of mine was very

1182
00:57:32,280 --> 00:57:34,320
Speaker 2: I should have had some dinner before I sat down.

1183
00:57:34,360 --> 00:57:36,240
Speaker 2: But that's all good, all right. Thank you so much

1184
00:57:36,640 --> 00:57:38,480
Speaker 2: to our listeners who followed up with us. If you

1185
00:57:38,520 --> 00:57:40,480
Speaker 2: have a question that you've answered that we've answered on

1186
00:57:40,520 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 2: the show and you have a follow up, send us

1187
00:57:42,440 --> 00:57:44,360
Speaker 2: to send them to us. And also you can send

1188
00:57:44,400 --> 00:57:48,320
Speaker 2: us your questions at Brandanbispodcast at gmail dot com or

1189
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:50,520
Speaker 2: hit us up on the gram. We are at brandonbis

1190
00:57:50,720 --> 00:57:54,000
Speaker 2: podcast on Instagram.

1191
00:57:56,560 --> 00:58:00,160
Speaker 1: Now it's time for the good things it's time for well,

1192
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:04,800
Speaker 1: it depends it's for boosts or break, so you can

1193
00:58:04,840 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 1: already tell what I'm just gonna do because I've had enough.

1194
00:58:07,280 --> 00:58:08,880
Speaker 1: Are you gonna have boost or are you gonna have

1195
00:58:08,920 --> 00:58:12,400
Speaker 1: baked Mandra bake? I know break. I was hoping it would.

1196
00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:13,600
Speaker 1: You know it's gonna slip on through.

1197
00:58:13,640 --> 00:58:16,479
Speaker 2: But no, it's fair because I did bake the best

1198
00:58:16,560 --> 00:58:19,200
Speaker 2: chocolate chip cookies all my life.

1199
00:58:19,320 --> 00:58:20,760
Speaker 1: I love chocot cookies.

1200
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:23,520
Speaker 2: Listen, Tiffany, I wish you know what can we do

1201
00:58:23,600 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 2: like a socially distanced, like you know, cookie exchange. I'll

1202
00:58:26,200 --> 00:58:27,720
Speaker 2: just like we do a drive by. I'll throw them

1203
00:58:27,760 --> 00:58:28,160
Speaker 2: in your car.

1204
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:29,440
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I would have loved that.

1205
00:58:29,800 --> 00:58:32,480
Speaker 2: It's so good. But here's my life hack is that

1206
00:58:32,520 --> 00:58:35,320
Speaker 2: I did not bake them all because my Peloton's coming

1207
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:36,760
Speaker 2: in a few weeks and I'm trying to get ready

1208
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 2: for her. Okay, but listen, I froze them. I rolled

1209
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:42,000
Speaker 2: them into balls and I froze them, and then we

1210
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,840
Speaker 2: can just bake a few a day. And I didn't

1211
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:45,840
Speaker 2: bake fifty cookies.

1212
00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:46,480
Speaker 1: But they're so good.

1213
00:58:46,520 --> 00:58:48,000
Speaker 2: I'm gonna send you the recipe.

1214
00:58:47,960 --> 00:58:50,000
Speaker 1: Yes please, because honestly, I love chocolate cookies. And I

1215
00:58:50,040 --> 00:58:52,000
Speaker 1: have to say I've been doing intermittent fasting and I've

1216
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:56,200
Speaker 1: lost like seven pounds. So I'm proud of myself because

1217
00:58:56,760 --> 00:58:59,800
Speaker 1: a low key, high key a show is coming and

1218
00:59:00,000 --> 00:59:02,720
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Cis cannot be dragging that wagon all over.

1219
00:59:02,680 --> 00:59:05,880
Speaker 2: But you're having wait a show, the Budgeties show is happening.

1220
00:59:06,320 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 1: Well, well, when I say you, so many production companies

1221
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:10,400
Speaker 1: have been in my inbox.

1222
00:59:10,160 --> 00:59:12,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know. That's why I'm like, is it finally happening?

1223
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:15,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, I would say, I mean, well, I'm speaking into

1224
00:59:15,320 --> 00:59:18,280
Speaker 1: existence when like I literally there's like, okay, there's one

1225
00:59:18,320 --> 00:59:20,320
Speaker 1: production company that I think I really like more than

1226
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:22,240
Speaker 1: the others. And so we're really just talking about, Okay,

1227
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 1: what are next steps?

1228
00:59:23,960 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 2: There are so many trash reality shows on Netflix right now.

1229
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:28,760
Speaker 2: Netflix got some money to burn. They better do the

1230
00:59:28,760 --> 00:59:31,400
Speaker 2: Tiffany show. They're better do it real quick because the

1231
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:34,360
Speaker 2: Flora's Lava is highly entertaining. But like, am I being

1232
00:59:34,840 --> 00:59:37,680
Speaker 2: into as a person not gonna lie?

1233
00:59:38,000 --> 00:59:40,120
Speaker 1: I was like, how did they know my childhood? When

1234
00:59:40,120 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 1: I saw the Flora's lav.

1235
00:59:41,040 --> 00:59:42,320
Speaker 2: Wait, you watched you watch DV?

1236
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:44,440
Speaker 1: Why do you? Oh? No, no, I saw the like

1237
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:46,400
Speaker 1: you know, I saw the Little Whatever preview when I

1238
00:59:46,440 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 1: was like, I was looking at Netflix. I was like, oh,

1239
00:59:48,000 --> 00:59:49,560
Speaker 1: I should watch something to make me fall asleep.

1240
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:52,600
Speaker 2: I can see you Superman and Supergirl being one of

1241
00:59:52,600 --> 00:59:56,600
Speaker 2: the families who competes one hundred thousand percent. Yeah, Tiffany,

1242
00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:56,919
Speaker 2: you need.

1243
00:59:56,920 --> 00:59:58,880
Speaker 1: So I need to break my teeth and be like.

1244
00:59:59,640 --> 01:00:01,920
Speaker 2: People get legitimately hurt and I don't know how they

1245
01:00:01,920 --> 01:00:02,680
Speaker 2: walk out of there, but.

1246
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:04,160
Speaker 1: It's all hard things.

1247
01:00:04,200 --> 01:00:08,200
Speaker 2: I was like, amazing entertainment and Netflix clearly has some

1248
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,320
Speaker 2: money to burn if they're making this shit Netflix.

1249
01:00:10,360 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 1: Both of mu Saint John, the new CMO of Netflix

1250
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:16,040
Speaker 1: Chief Marketing Officer, my girl bowse.

1251
01:00:16,160 --> 01:00:19,040
Speaker 2: Yes like all her on stuff. So I thought she

1252
01:00:19,200 --> 01:00:20,840
Speaker 2: was like, I don't even know what I thought job

1253
01:00:20,920 --> 01:00:22,440
Speaker 2: she had. I thought she was just famous for being

1254
01:00:22,440 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 2: fabulous and smart, and then she got a job at Netflix. Fabulous.

1255
01:00:25,920 --> 01:00:28,440
Speaker 1: Yeah. Before that, she was with Endeavor, which is like

1256
01:00:28,520 --> 01:00:30,960
Speaker 1: this big management company, like they managed all of She

1257
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: was the CMO there, so they manage all of the

1258
01:00:33,200 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 1: all the huge celebrities. And then before that she's worked

1259
01:00:35,880 --> 01:00:40,000
Speaker 1: at Uber, She's worked at Apple and Papa John's. I

1260
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:42,720
Speaker 1: think she consulted so Bose knew to this. She is

1261
01:00:42,760 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 1: what shree to this. So that's like my pre my

1262
01:00:45,520 --> 01:00:51,040
Speaker 1: pre boost, but my real boost is for sir Kaepernick.

1263
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:56,680
Speaker 1: Colin if you're nasty, mister Kaepernick, if you're nasty, Yeah,

1264
01:00:56,840 --> 01:00:59,560
Speaker 1: trying to get you. If you're not familiar with mister Kaepernick.

1265
01:01:00,200 --> 01:01:04,840
Speaker 1: He is the gentleman that kneeled all throughout the like

1266
01:01:04,880 --> 01:01:07,160
Speaker 1: I think it was like twenty nineteen and maybe even

1267
01:01:07,200 --> 01:01:14,439
Speaker 1: twenty eighteen, like the NFL eight earlier seventeen, Yes, during

1268
01:01:14,440 --> 01:01:17,840
Speaker 1: the NFL season, and as a result lost his ability

1269
01:01:17,880 --> 01:01:19,960
Speaker 1: to play professional football. I mean he but he started

1270
01:01:20,000 --> 01:01:23,520
Speaker 1: a whole movement and he was like, you know what,

1271
01:01:23,680 --> 01:01:25,520
Speaker 1: you know who doesn't care? Not me, Not that he

1272
01:01:25,520 --> 01:01:28,080
Speaker 1: didn't care because he loves football, but he was like,

1273
01:01:28,160 --> 01:01:32,520
Speaker 1: this means more. He was kneeling to protest police brutality

1274
01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:34,720
Speaker 1: against black people, and they turned into this whole disrespect

1275
01:01:34,760 --> 01:01:37,080
Speaker 1: of the flag and other bs said it wasn't but

1276
01:01:37,280 --> 01:01:41,000
Speaker 1: as racists are apt to do. Since then, the NFL

1277
01:01:41,040 --> 01:01:44,080
Speaker 1: admitted like we were wrong, because you know, black lives

1278
01:01:44,080 --> 01:01:45,760
Speaker 1: matter right now is cute, so you know they want

1279
01:01:45,760 --> 01:01:46,400
Speaker 1: to get in line with it.

1280
01:01:46,560 --> 01:01:51,120
Speaker 2: Several years later, I will say people excommunicated Colin. He

1281
01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:54,920
Speaker 2: was blacklisted, like literally, he lost his spot on his team.

1282
01:01:55,400 --> 01:01:58,800
Speaker 2: He was blue ball. Blue ball. No, that's not the

1283
01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:02,880
Speaker 2: expression black ball. This is a bad analogy. He was good,

1284
01:02:03,160 --> 01:02:05,960
Speaker 2: it was cut out. Yes, yes, no one wanted him.

1285
01:02:06,000 --> 01:02:08,000
Speaker 2: He was toxic, No one wanted to touch him.

1286
01:02:08,120 --> 01:02:08,400
Speaker 1: Yes.

1287
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,800
Speaker 2: For three to four years later, now he's having the

1288
01:02:10,880 --> 01:02:11,400
Speaker 2: last last.

1289
01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:13,640
Speaker 1: What I tell you what I loved about Colin is

1290
01:02:13,640 --> 01:02:17,440
Speaker 1: despite all that, he was unwavering in his say what

1291
01:02:17,520 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 1: you want. Black people need to be heard and so

1292
01:02:21,000 --> 01:02:24,040
Speaker 1: so he just posted I'm excited to announce this historic

1293
01:02:24,120 --> 01:02:27,760
Speaker 1: partnership with Disney across all of its platforms to elevate

1294
01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:31,560
Speaker 1: black and brown directors, creators, storytellers, and producers, and to

1295
01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:35,440
Speaker 1: inspire the youth with compelling and authentic perspectives. I look

1296
01:02:35,480 --> 01:02:38,520
Speaker 1: forward to sharing the docuseries on my life story in

1297
01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:42,480
Speaker 1: addition to so many other cultural impactful projects we're developing.

1298
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:45,240
Speaker 1: So he has a development deal with Disney to develop

1299
01:02:45,520 --> 01:02:48,240
Speaker 1: and black and brown stories, which I'm just like, what,

1300
01:02:48,440 --> 01:02:52,800
Speaker 1: So this is what I posted underneath you know, I said,

1301
01:02:53,720 --> 01:02:57,640
Speaker 1: this is the literal manifestation of they tried to bury you,

1302
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:01,800
Speaker 1: but didn't realize you were a seed groking, continue to

1303
01:03:01,800 --> 01:03:04,720
Speaker 1: bear fruit and bring nourishment back to your people. Okay,

1304
01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:08,439
Speaker 1: So yeah, he's all the things, and I just yeah,

1305
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:10,800
Speaker 1: I just you know, well, here's the thing. It doesn't

1306
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:12,680
Speaker 1: always work out that way. Sometimes you stand up for

1307
01:03:12,720 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 1: what is right, and you know, you there are no flowers,

1308
01:03:15,560 --> 01:03:18,280
Speaker 1: there are no Disney deals for you. And obviously he's

1309
01:03:18,360 --> 01:03:20,520
Speaker 1: not doing it for that, because how can you anticipate

1310
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:23,440
Speaker 1: that what's gonna happen. But you know that if you

1311
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:27,440
Speaker 1: can make someone else's life better. But he sacrificed so much,

1312
01:03:27,520 --> 01:03:29,280
Speaker 1: and so I've just loved that this is happening, and

1313
01:03:29,560 --> 01:03:32,400
Speaker 1: he's been donating money. I just he has stayed so

1314
01:03:32,640 --> 01:03:36,560
Speaker 1: true in the face of adversity. I honestly, he's goals. Okay,

1315
01:03:36,640 --> 01:03:37,240
Speaker 1: he's goals.

1316
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:40,400
Speaker 2: Yeah. And I also saw that Ava DuVernay is doing

1317
01:03:40,520 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 2: a Netflix series based on his life, based on his

1318
01:03:43,480 --> 01:03:45,800
Speaker 2: high school years. I think, so he's really having his

1319
01:03:45,880 --> 01:03:47,440
Speaker 2: moment in the sun in the sun. And I got

1320
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:49,160
Speaker 2: to do a shout out for Ava DuVernay because she

1321
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:53,120
Speaker 2: has always been true to telling black stories and I

1322
01:03:53,160 --> 01:03:55,760
Speaker 2: hope that she's also I mean, she she is leaning

1323
01:03:55,800 --> 01:03:58,919
Speaker 2: in and she her voice sounds so hoarse on social media.

1324
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:01,120
Speaker 2: When I hear her speak now, she has never put

1325
01:04:01,160 --> 01:04:03,720
Speaker 2: down the megaphone, never, not once has she not used

1326
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:07,720
Speaker 2: her platform to amplify important voices of color. And I

1327
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,440
Speaker 2: love her so much and the fact that they're teaming

1328
01:04:09,480 --> 01:04:13,800
Speaker 2: up together is just beautiful. Love it and shout out

1329
01:04:13,840 --> 01:04:15,640
Speaker 2: to Disney. I guess they're trying to make things right

1330
01:04:17,120 --> 01:04:18,920
Speaker 2: because you know, for a long time they did not

1331
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:20,000
Speaker 2: amplifier voices.

1332
01:04:20,200 --> 01:04:24,240
Speaker 1: What I'm now, it was like the only Black Disney princess,

1333
01:04:24,280 --> 01:04:27,800
Speaker 1: her Princess a frog. But whatever, they have a lot.

1334
01:04:27,880 --> 01:04:30,760
Speaker 2: But yeah, I heard that they're doing a Yeah, that's right,

1335
01:04:30,840 --> 01:04:32,720
Speaker 2: Prince and the frog was Princess and the Frog was

1336
01:04:32,760 --> 01:04:36,080
Speaker 2: the only Black Disney princess, right. I mean there hasn't

1337
01:04:36,120 --> 01:04:39,600
Speaker 2: been one since, which is pretty sad. They put my

1338
01:04:39,640 --> 01:04:42,120
Speaker 2: man sterling k Brown and Frozen, but that was very

1339
01:04:42,240 --> 01:04:45,160
Speaker 2: MU was after the first one did really well, which is,

1340
01:04:45,280 --> 01:04:47,520
Speaker 2: you know, we got they have work to do like

1341
01:04:47,560 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 2: every other company does. Okay, let me do maya. What

1342
01:04:51,000 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 2: was I gonna do again? I forget? Oh my boost, Yes,

1343
01:04:53,160 --> 01:04:56,320
Speaker 2: a quick boost finally I've been wait, I haven't forgotten

1344
01:04:56,320 --> 01:04:59,960
Speaker 2: about you, Amy Cooper. I don't think America has either thing.

1345
01:05:00,000 --> 01:05:02,520
Speaker 2: Thank I was a little concerned because George Floyd happened

1346
01:05:02,560 --> 01:05:05,919
Speaker 2: soon after Amy Cooper. Not that obviously no one's life

1347
01:05:05,960 --> 01:05:08,320
Speaker 2: was taken, But Amy Cooper, she's the woman who called

1348
01:05:08,320 --> 01:05:10,680
Speaker 2: the police on a black man in Central Park because

1349
01:05:10,680 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 2: he had the audacity to ask her to put a

1350
01:05:12,560 --> 01:05:16,360
Speaker 2: leash on her dog, which is the rule in the park.

1351
01:05:16,400 --> 01:05:20,320
Speaker 2: That she was waltzing her behind through with her dog,

1352
01:05:20,360 --> 01:05:22,440
Speaker 2: and she took great offense to the fact that someone

1353
01:05:22,480 --> 01:05:24,320
Speaker 2: called her out, and so much so that she called

1354
01:05:24,400 --> 01:05:28,240
Speaker 2: nine one one and threatened him. She didn't threaten him

1355
01:05:28,280 --> 01:05:30,160
Speaker 2: with a gun, or with a knife or with the

1356
01:05:30,360 --> 01:05:33,000
Speaker 2: actual weapon. She threatened him with his own race. She said,

1357
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:34,880
Speaker 2: I'm going to call the police and tell them there's

1358
01:05:34,880 --> 01:05:37,600
Speaker 2: a black man threatening me. Because she knew the power

1359
01:05:37,640 --> 01:05:39,439
Speaker 2: of her words. I don't care what statement she put

1360
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:42,560
Speaker 2: out afterwards. She knew that using his race against him

1361
01:05:42,640 --> 01:05:45,080
Speaker 2: was a weapon, and she knew exactly what she was doing.

1362
01:05:45,480 --> 01:05:48,440
Speaker 2: But I wonder she lost her job very soon after

1363
01:05:49,120 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 2: this news broke She unfortunately, you made the mistake of

1364
01:05:54,480 --> 01:05:56,840
Speaker 2: talking to a man who was very renowned in his field,

1365
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:59,000
Speaker 2: not that he needed to be at all, but he

1366
01:05:59,120 --> 01:06:00,920
Speaker 2: had a lot of people come out and support of him,

1367
01:06:00,920 --> 01:06:03,880
Speaker 2: and she had her come up. But what mattered to

1368
01:06:03,920 --> 01:06:06,320
Speaker 2: me most was is what she did illegal? And has

1369
01:06:06,360 --> 01:06:08,520
Speaker 2: she been held accountable? And it just came through today,

1370
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:11,440
Speaker 2: I think or yesterday, that she's been charged officially with

1371
01:06:11,480 --> 01:06:14,680
Speaker 2: filing a false report with law enforcement, which is like,

1372
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,520
Speaker 2: why did it take all this time? I don't know.

1373
01:06:16,600 --> 01:06:18,400
Speaker 2: It was pretty clear it was a false report. But

1374
01:06:18,720 --> 01:06:22,080
Speaker 2: thank goodness, because this is the accountability that we need,

1375
01:06:22,920 --> 01:06:26,840
Speaker 2: and it's something small, very small, that has happened that

1376
01:06:27,000 --> 01:06:30,240
Speaker 2: is the right thing. There are obviously bigger things that

1377
01:06:30,240 --> 01:06:32,840
Speaker 2: were still waiting for. We're still waiting for accountability for

1378
01:06:32,880 --> 01:06:37,360
Speaker 2: the police who killed Brionna Taytlor murdered, murdered, needlessly Breonna

1379
01:06:37,400 --> 01:06:41,160
Speaker 2: Taylor in her home. They still haven't arrested those those killers,

1380
01:06:41,480 --> 01:06:43,600
Speaker 2: nor had they arrested the people who killed the cops

1381
01:06:43,600 --> 01:06:46,040
Speaker 2: who killed Rashard Brooks in Atlanta, and so many more.

1382
01:06:46,880 --> 01:06:51,200
Speaker 2: But it was one one little piece of today, And.

1383
01:06:53,000 --> 01:06:55,880
Speaker 1: What it does is that it shows people that there

1384
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:58,840
Speaker 1: are consequences. Because I saw a woman who had done something.

1385
01:06:59,280 --> 01:07:03,040
Speaker 1: She cut off a gentleman and he pulled over and

1386
01:07:03,080 --> 01:07:05,040
Speaker 1: she called him. I guess like the N word when

1387
01:07:05,040 --> 01:07:07,520
Speaker 1: she had him off and some other things. So anyway,

1388
01:07:07,520 --> 01:07:09,760
Speaker 1: he gets out and he says, you know, you almost like,

1389
01:07:09,840 --> 01:07:11,560
Speaker 1: you know, almost crushed. So he's taping her, you know,

1390
01:07:11,600 --> 01:07:13,520
Speaker 1: because he almost crashed me. And then you call me

1391
01:07:13,520 --> 01:07:16,080
Speaker 1: the N word and she starts to scream and cry

1392
01:07:16,160 --> 01:07:21,680
Speaker 1: and says I'm not a Karen and he's like, ma'am,

1393
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:24,320
Speaker 1: I just want you. I forget whatever it was he

1394
01:07:24,320 --> 01:07:27,680
Speaker 1: wanted to exchange. I think she's something. I think he

1395
01:07:27,720 --> 01:07:29,880
Speaker 1: wanted to just exchange insurance cards or something like that.

1396
01:07:29,920 --> 01:07:32,040
Speaker 1: But so, anyway, so people are walking up, and of course,

1397
01:07:32,080 --> 01:07:34,840
Speaker 1: because she's weaponizing her tears, You're like, what are you doing?

1398
01:07:34,960 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 1: Leave her alone. He's like, I don't know if she

1399
01:07:37,920 --> 01:07:39,800
Speaker 1: hit him or clipped him. He's like, I just want her,

1400
01:07:40,200 --> 01:07:42,680
Speaker 1: like I am allowed to ask for her insurance card

1401
01:07:42,720 --> 01:07:44,160
Speaker 1: or whatever he wanted. And she's like, he called me

1402
01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:46,520
Speaker 1: the N word. I'm recording because I don't want it

1403
01:07:46,600 --> 01:07:48,200
Speaker 1: to come out that I did something to her and

1404
01:07:48,240 --> 01:07:50,480
Speaker 1: I did not. So she is boohooing and screaming, but

1405
01:07:50,520 --> 01:07:52,120
Speaker 1: I'm like, I bet she won't screaming when you were

1406
01:07:52,120 --> 01:07:54,479
Speaker 1: calling this man the N word and cutting him off.

1407
01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:57,680
Speaker 1: And so It just was hilarious because she was very

1408
01:07:57,680 --> 01:08:00,880
Speaker 1: well aware of yikes, if this is his the interwebs,

1409
01:08:01,040 --> 01:08:04,640
Speaker 1: this might be the end. So you're on notice, ma'ams

1410
01:08:04,680 --> 01:08:08,320
Speaker 1: and missus, so watch your mouth, watch your face because yes,

1411
01:08:08,800 --> 01:08:10,760
Speaker 1: you know, although black people don't.

1412
01:08:10,800 --> 01:08:13,320
Speaker 2: Because let's just get all the dirt out front of

1413
01:08:13,360 --> 01:08:16,880
Speaker 2: the rugs of America. Like just really feel comfortable in

1414
01:08:16,920 --> 01:08:19,880
Speaker 2: this Trump America. You could be people.

1415
01:08:20,479 --> 01:08:24,400
Speaker 1: Get you, caught it out, get you. Speaking of which,

1416
01:08:24,479 --> 01:08:25,840
Speaker 1: like you know, I try to do my ig of

1417
01:08:25,880 --> 01:08:27,599
Speaker 1: the of the of the well not try. This has

1418
01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:29,320
Speaker 1: only been like the third, third, fourth, the.

1419
01:08:29,320 --> 01:08:31,160
Speaker 2: Third time the Trump I love this you segment that

1420
01:08:31,160 --> 01:08:32,519
Speaker 2: were this mini segment.

1421
01:08:32,600 --> 01:08:35,920
Speaker 1: Yes, so it's called Gossip of the City. So I

1422
01:08:35,920 --> 01:08:38,000
Speaker 1: think it used to be originally like a gossip site,

1423
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:39,680
Speaker 1: but then they started taping. You know, we have all

1424
01:08:39,720 --> 01:08:42,320
Speaker 1: these Karen and Wild videos and or Karen in a

1425
01:08:42,439 --> 01:08:45,479
Speaker 1: Wild or Karen instagrams, and Mandy and I were both like,

1426
01:08:45,680 --> 01:08:47,880
Speaker 1: I'm not sure how I feel about it, because sometimes

1427
01:08:47,960 --> 01:08:50,439
Speaker 1: it's like unrequited. You watch it and you're like, okay,

1428
01:08:50,439 --> 01:08:52,160
Speaker 1: so they did this terrible thing and now we know,

1429
01:08:53,000 --> 01:08:55,680
Speaker 1: So now now what what I like about Gossip of

1430
01:08:55,680 --> 01:08:58,960
Speaker 1: the City is that it pivoted its account and now

1431
01:08:59,120 --> 01:09:02,800
Speaker 1: it posts the ask for help finding this person and

1432
01:09:02,840 --> 01:09:05,640
Speaker 1: then shares that person with the authorities for them to

1433
01:09:05,640 --> 01:09:07,880
Speaker 1: either be arrested or shares them with their job, and

1434
01:09:07,920 --> 01:09:10,720
Speaker 1: then post updates like hey, this person was arrested for

1435
01:09:10,880 --> 01:09:13,639
Speaker 1: threatening this person or this person was let go for

1436
01:09:13,920 --> 01:09:17,360
Speaker 1: these racial slurs. So it's of all those types of sites,

1437
01:09:17,800 --> 01:09:21,320
Speaker 1: of all those types of ig accounts, Gossip of the City.

1438
01:09:22,080 --> 01:09:26,040
Speaker 1: It feels like there's a sense of closure there. And

1439
01:09:26,080 --> 01:09:28,920
Speaker 1: they've even started like a Facebook like page where it's like,

1440
01:09:28,960 --> 01:09:33,120
Speaker 1: you know, help Stop Racism, where you can basically report

1441
01:09:33,160 --> 01:09:37,320
Speaker 1: in and crowdsource help, like hey, this person did this

1442
01:09:37,360 --> 01:09:39,559
Speaker 1: to me. I'm showing you the proof, and then they

1443
01:09:39,560 --> 01:09:42,280
Speaker 1: crowdsource help like you know, because sometimes you know, nobody

1444
01:09:42,320 --> 01:09:45,000
Speaker 1: wants to do anything, but then you know, twenty two

1445
01:09:45,000 --> 01:09:47,720
Speaker 1: thousand people see it. The New York Times does a

1446
01:09:47,760 --> 01:09:49,400
Speaker 1: story and all of a sudden, the police are like, oh, yeah,

1447
01:09:49,439 --> 01:09:51,880
Speaker 1: that's a legal Oh you think so, I just yeah,

1448
01:09:52,000 --> 01:09:55,040
Speaker 1: so I like thus far. You know, a friend of mine,

1449
01:09:55,040 --> 01:09:57,160
Speaker 1: I was actually getting my hair retightened the other day

1450
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:00,400
Speaker 1: because it'd been months and months and months, and so

1451
01:10:01,040 --> 01:10:04,519
Speaker 1: I was telling my the my friend katab who does it.

1452
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:06,720
Speaker 1: He was telling me about the site. He told me

1453
01:10:06,760 --> 01:10:08,240
Speaker 1: that's why he liked it, he said, because the other

1454
01:10:08,240 --> 01:10:09,760
Speaker 1: ones just kind of made him feel bad, and he

1455
01:10:09,840 --> 01:10:11,479
Speaker 1: was like, but this one, it feels like one I

1456
01:10:11,479 --> 01:10:13,880
Speaker 1: could help in case I recognize someone. And two we

1457
01:10:13,920 --> 01:10:15,880
Speaker 1: get an update of like, hey, thank you guys so

1458
01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:19,080
Speaker 1: much for the help. There's been something something has happened

1459
01:10:19,080 --> 01:10:21,960
Speaker 1: as a result. So I'm like, yay. So Gossip of

1460
01:10:22,000 --> 01:10:23,519
Speaker 1: the City get you.

1461
01:10:23,479 --> 01:10:26,280
Speaker 2: Saturday on ig right, love it?

1462
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:28,720
Speaker 1: I mean a fan following Mandra and I what are

1463
01:10:28,760 --> 01:10:31,160
Speaker 1: you doing? Mandy money, Mandy with an I thank you

1464
01:10:31,240 --> 01:10:31,919
Speaker 1: very much.

1465
01:10:31,840 --> 01:10:34,920
Speaker 2: Thank you for just what. That's a true friend. One

1466
01:10:34,920 --> 01:10:37,160
Speaker 2: who remembers my name is spelled with an eye.

1467
01:10:38,280 --> 01:10:41,040
Speaker 1: Yes, follow us on ig. I'm the bunch oftista, Mandy

1468
01:10:41,080 --> 01:10:44,320
Speaker 1: with an Eye and Brown Ambition podcast. Right, it's not

1469
01:10:44,439 --> 01:10:47,960
Speaker 1: the It's just Brown Ambition podcast or pod? Which one

1470
01:10:48,000 --> 01:10:48,200
Speaker 1: is it?

1471
01:10:48,240 --> 01:10:51,720
Speaker 2: I genuinely don't remember. I'm malnourished and I have a

1472
01:10:51,720 --> 01:10:52,360
Speaker 2: bunch of girl.

1473
01:10:53,920 --> 01:10:55,519
Speaker 1: I'm gonna fight it really quickly because I do want

1474
01:10:55,560 --> 01:10:56,960
Speaker 1: us for you guys to fall because I love when

1475
01:10:56,960 --> 01:10:57,760
Speaker 1: you guys follow us.

1476
01:10:57,720 --> 01:10:59,880
Speaker 2: And like I think it's just at Brown Ambition podcast.

1477
01:10:59,880 --> 01:11:02,360
Speaker 2: You right, You're right, you are. I should know because

1478
01:11:02,360 --> 01:11:03,080
Speaker 2: I'm on all the time.

1479
01:11:03,280 --> 01:11:05,320
Speaker 1: I'm like just I'm like, okay, I should get Brown

1480
01:11:05,320 --> 01:11:08,000
Speaker 1: Ambition podcasts. So you can't. You can't, you can't get

1481
01:11:08,040 --> 01:11:11,160
Speaker 1: it wrong. So I expect an uptick right now. We're

1482
01:11:11,160 --> 01:11:14,840
Speaker 1: at forty two four thy two and eighty nine. Mark

1483
01:11:14,920 --> 01:11:17,479
Speaker 1: that number. Uh, so I expect to see an uptick.

1484
01:11:17,600 --> 01:11:22,599
Speaker 2: So you know whoa okay that accountability? Thank you guys.

1485
01:11:22,600 --> 01:11:24,800
Speaker 2: Well I heard we're still being featured on Spotify's Bay

1486
01:11:24,880 --> 01:11:29,000
Speaker 2: Black section. I still get alerts from friends, texts and stuff.

1487
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:32,679
Speaker 2: So thank y'all Spotify for for amplifying us. We're about

1488
01:11:32,680 --> 01:11:35,680
Speaker 2: to hit five years. So this is a beautiful, a

1489
01:11:35,720 --> 01:11:40,320
Speaker 2: beautiful and long overdue? Is that too presumptuous? Would be

1490
01:11:40,320 --> 01:11:41,960
Speaker 2: to say? A long overdue recognition?

1491
01:11:43,280 --> 01:11:43,720
Speaker 1: Love it?

1492
01:11:44,320 --> 01:11:46,960
Speaker 2: Thank thank y'all so much for listening to another episode

1493
01:11:46,960 --> 01:11:49,799
Speaker 2: of Brown Ambition. Hit us up, like Tiffany said on Instagram,

1494
01:11:49,840 --> 01:11:53,599
Speaker 2: Brown and Vission Podcast. Email Brandomission Podcast at gmail dot com,

1495
01:11:53,640 --> 01:11:57,120
Speaker 2: dot us on Facebook if you're not you know, tired

1496
01:11:57,160 --> 01:11:59,519
Speaker 2: of it like everyone else's right now, and us up

1497
01:11:59,560 --> 01:12:00,000
Speaker 2: on faceboo