WEBVTT - Happy Wife Pt. 2 with Jameela Mallett 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.640 Welcome to We Talk Back podcast, the production of iHeartRadio 0:00:04.720 --> 0:00:06.559 and the Black Effect Network. 0:00:06.680 --> 0:00:11.640 Talk Talk Talk. We're just two unapologetically black women with 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:13.480 an opinion to talk. 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:19.040 Hey everybody, it's me tan Van. Welcome to a new 0:00:19.040 --> 0:00:20.320 episode of We Talk Back. 0:00:20.560 --> 0:00:23.000 I love y'all. Oh wait, this shit dedicated to you 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:25.240 lovers and what else? Ay? 0:00:25.320 --> 0:00:32.280 J fuckers. I don't know, y'all. If you got a 0:00:32.360 --> 0:00:37.000 man for the holidays, I'm jealous. Okay, me too. 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:42.000 This is my ninth year not having a Valentine. Like, 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:44.159 I got gifts and ship, but I ain't have like 0:00:44.240 --> 0:00:45.680 no real man, you know. 0:00:46.520 --> 0:00:49.400 So niggas just dropping shit off the day before, that's 0:00:49.400 --> 0:00:49.960 what you're saying. 0:00:50.479 --> 0:00:53.040 No, fuck you, bitch, fuck you. I know what you're implying. 0:00:53.080 --> 0:00:53.760 Shit in the mail. 0:00:55.320 --> 0:00:57.800 I'm getting like flowers in the mail, like are either 0:00:57.800 --> 0:01:00.840 they're not in the same state as me or it's 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:02.400 just are they want to be with me? 0:01:02.440 --> 0:01:04.000 But it ain't nobody I want to be with? 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:06.360 You know, girl, you about to fuck up all your blessings. 0:01:06.440 --> 0:01:08.880 Don't be saying that on here. What you be doing 0:01:08.920 --> 0:01:11.160 and how you be getting shit from different people? You 0:01:11.319 --> 0:01:13.480 fuck around and get nothing now. 0:01:15.760 --> 0:01:17.800 Well, Valentine's they already passed with this. 0:01:17.840 --> 0:01:22.840 Drop, so I already got it. I got your niggas joke. 0:01:27.080 --> 0:01:30.959 No, I just don't have like a solid booth thing 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.720 again for Valentine's Day, so. 0:01:34.200 --> 0:01:37.600 I'm not really about it. It's all right. I mean, 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:40.360 I feel like the last couple of holidays I didn't 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:43.080 have anybody, but previous years I had some shit going on. 0:01:43.160 --> 0:01:49.240 But I am celebrating freedom, bitch free at last. Okay, 0:01:49.600 --> 0:01:51.120 That's how I feel. 0:01:50.840 --> 0:01:54.720 My sister, My sister bought herself a bouquet roses. I 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:57.400 was like, oh, that's so beautiful. I admire the self love. 0:01:57.560 --> 0:01:59.480 I'm gonna talk about you on the show. She's like, bitch, 0:01:59.520 --> 0:02:01.120 yo'll say that on the show. I'm gonna tell people 0:02:01.120 --> 0:02:01.800 a nigga bought me. 0:02:04.880 --> 0:02:05.760 Sorry, Tanya. 0:02:07.520 --> 0:02:10.600 I always buy myself flowers. I love fresh flowers. 0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:13.840 Okay, I love flowers too, but I don't like to 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:17.800 buy for myself. I honestly don't like to buy anything. 0:02:17.480 --> 0:02:20.680 For there's that part the fuck. 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:23.000 I ever prefer other people to buy. 0:02:23.960 --> 0:02:26.079 Sam's Club got the best flowers. If y'all want to 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:28.520 buy y'all, old lady some nice flowers. Weekly go to 0:02:28.560 --> 0:02:33.680 Sam's Club. Y'all Sam's Club cars all yourself. You know, 0:02:34.160 --> 0:02:36.839 you get a Sam's Club card? What we got going 0:02:36.880 --> 0:02:39.480 on for? Stupid? Oh shit? Did I skip our weekends? 0:02:40.520 --> 0:02:40.680 Well? 0:02:40.720 --> 0:02:43.160 I guess that'll that's part of stupid internet news. 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:46.000 Is the weekend the super Bowl. 0:02:46.160 --> 0:02:49.120 Let's just get into the super Bowl like that was 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:50.000 everybody's weekend. 0:02:50.320 --> 0:02:51.720 Did you do any Super Bowl party? 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:55.440 I did. I went to one of my good friends 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:57.919 her mom's house, and they had a shitting dig going 0:02:57.960 --> 0:03:01.359 on with all the food and all the people. Was school. Yep, 0:03:01.440 --> 0:03:02.320 did you go to hell? 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:02.520 No? 0:03:02.639 --> 0:03:04.720 I was right at the house. I maybe some savich 0:03:05.680 --> 0:03:08.519 at the house and we watched. 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:11.359 BJ for a super Bowl that's you're supposed to have meat. 0:03:11.400 --> 0:03:13.160 Oh you don't eat him exactly, so let me get 0:03:13.160 --> 0:03:14.400 my seafood please, thank you? 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:17.519 A vegan meatball weak as hell. 0:03:19.639 --> 0:03:22.399 And I did watch the whole game. You know. That's 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:25.000 really the only time I watch football is to watch 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:27.320 the Super Bowl. So I can see how. 0:03:27.400 --> 0:03:28.520 That's the only game you watch. 0:03:30.360 --> 0:03:30.919 I'll watch. 0:03:31.000 --> 0:03:33.000 If I'm like with a man and he want to watch, 0:03:33.600 --> 0:03:35.840 I'll get into it, you know. But I don't just 0:03:35.840 --> 0:03:38.480 be sitting at my whole house cracking over, open a 0:03:38.560 --> 0:03:39.600 Bruski and. 0:03:39.600 --> 0:03:47.080 Turn it on the game. Who would you go for? 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:49.240 I was saying little stupid shit at the party, like so, 0:03:49.840 --> 0:03:52.360 which who's the white team and who's the Red team? 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:54.200 On purpose, like trying to make it sound like I 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:54.800 don't know, girl. 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:57.120 I literally bet some ass at forty nine. It was 0:03:57.120 --> 0:03:59.880 just gonna win. I don't give him no ass though, 0:04:00.360 --> 0:04:02.240 But I asked who wanted to give up some asks 0:04:02.240 --> 0:04:06.000 for the forty nine ers? Who wanted to bet some bookie? 0:04:06.520 --> 0:04:07.720 And somebody took your bet? 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:11.840 Yep, had a few takers, And then after way after 0:04:11.880 --> 0:04:14.280 the forty nine is lost, I was like, I'm I 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.680 wasn't the one giving up bookie. I was asking who 0:04:16.760 --> 0:04:21.560 wanted to give up some bookie for the bets? 0:04:22.000 --> 0:04:24.680 But but if you if they give up some bookie, 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:27.200 ain't you gotta give up some bookie to get the bookie? 0:04:27.200 --> 0:04:27.680 That giving up? 0:04:27.760 --> 0:04:30.240 No, they could have told me what they wanted their 0:04:30.839 --> 0:04:36.200 prize to be. That was my prize, some bookie from them, yes. 0:04:37.480 --> 0:04:39.760 But that means some bookie from you. Do you realize that? 0:04:39.880 --> 0:04:43.040 Right? Bege I lost the bet to about twenty people. 0:04:45.960 --> 0:04:46.960 Body in that ass. 0:04:47.440 --> 0:04:47.880 Let that. 0:04:50.400 --> 0:04:52.640 Body camp about to be stupid for the nine to 0:04:52.720 --> 0:04:53.680 nine and the twenty four. 0:04:56.760 --> 0:05:01.599 So let's get into the sin. Sure, the whole the 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:03.600 whole Super Bowl was the Usher show. As far as 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:06.080 I love Usher, how did you feel about his performance? 0:05:06.200 --> 0:05:08.479 I thought his performance was very good. I love the 0:05:08.480 --> 0:05:11.520 part when he took his fucking shirt off. Okay, I'm like, 0:05:11.600 --> 0:05:14.880 USh just making niggas getting the gym. Okay. 0:05:15.279 --> 0:05:17.000 People were trying to say it wasn't all of that, 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:22.640 this nigga arrolla skated dance. No, the performance dance saying 0:05:23.080 --> 0:05:26.960 has striples. Selo Edge made the pre came out her. 0:05:27.480 --> 0:05:29.560 The weird part about it. I had never seen this, 0:05:29.800 --> 0:05:34.120 you know, based on like previous halftime shows, people comparing 0:05:35.200 --> 0:05:38.960 the current halftime to previous years, like I was seeing 0:05:38.960 --> 0:05:41.919 Michael Jackson halftime, Like why are y'all comparing Usher to 0:05:41.960 --> 0:05:46.560 Michael Jackson and Prince halftime performance? Like what has really happened? 0:05:46.560 --> 0:05:48.000 But those are greats. 0:05:48.320 --> 0:05:51.080 When you're being compared to the greats, then that says 0:05:51.080 --> 0:05:51.680 a lot. 0:05:51.920 --> 0:05:54.880 So I don't know why the expectation was so high 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:57.520 for Usher, but I feel like he delivered. I don't 0:05:57.520 --> 0:05:59.039 know what the fuck he's a living about. 0:05:59.240 --> 0:06:00.960 He brought a the aid to the world. 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:04.760 I never seen strippers look so wholesome, you know, like 0:06:04.800 --> 0:06:10.960 they was up there like you know, those weren't the 0:06:10.960 --> 0:06:14.120 most family friendly strippers I've ever seen in Wilen. 0:06:15.400 --> 0:06:18.080 Why black men be so mad and ready to rag 0:06:18.120 --> 0:06:21.400 on another black man over their fucking wives. So now 0:06:21.440 --> 0:06:26.599 everybody saw how Usha was on, had his dick on. 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:32.800 I thought it was innocent. We see people who are 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:37.200 married to other people entertain all the time. Why all 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.200 of a sudden there's a problem when Usher does it. 0:06:40.720 --> 0:06:42.880 Because let me tell you why it's a problem because 0:06:42.960 --> 0:06:45.960 Kei Ki Palmer and that other man had that whole 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:49.799 issue after Usher was dancing with Kiki. So now everybody 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:52.200 watching Usher to make sure he don't break up. No 0:06:52.200 --> 0:06:53.120 more happy homes. 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:56.120 But we know this nigga terrorists. I feel like he 0:06:56.160 --> 0:06:59.480 get a pass, right, he do get a pass. 0:07:00.200 --> 0:07:02.159 Was like, it's okay, you can grind my bitch. I 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:03.120 don't care you wash your. 0:07:03.080 --> 0:07:06.400 Nigga Like she looked like she was a jointed too, 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:08.600 like she remembered that meet because I remember they used 0:07:08.640 --> 0:07:13.720 to date. Yep, you gotta be real secure to let 0:07:14.640 --> 0:07:17.880 a woman's ex dude grind her for the world to 0:07:17.920 --> 0:07:21.400 see and still be Okay, they're very secure and they're marriage. Yeah. 0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:24.480 So apparently him and his longtime girlfriend. Usher and his 0:07:24.520 --> 0:07:28.800 longtime girlfriend had just like locked in a marriage certificate 0:07:29.040 --> 0:07:32.880 right before the Super Bowl. So he's getting married or 0:07:32.880 --> 0:07:34.600 he's married ship essentially. 0:07:34.680 --> 0:07:38.040 Right, Yeah, he's married they both. I think about it. 0:07:38.600 --> 0:07:39.360 He's a swinger. 0:07:41.080 --> 0:07:42.880 No, I'm just saying they were swinging on stage when 0:07:42.920 --> 0:07:43.200 he was. 0:07:45.320 --> 0:07:48.360 Booty one. Think about it, boy, I should keep a 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:52.120 bitch despite what that doctor said, he. 0:07:52.240 --> 0:07:57.280 Keep a low key one too. Don't do that. So 0:07:57.480 --> 0:07:58.800 we had a gad ass to our show. 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:01.679 Don't do that despite them tests all say I should 0:08:01.760 --> 0:08:05.040 keep him a low one. Okay, he's Usher. 0:08:05.800 --> 0:08:09.840 He get to do what he wanted. I would say. 0:08:09.880 --> 0:08:11.920 I wish her could have been on stage longer. I 0:08:11.920 --> 0:08:14.320 wish it was like an USh Her show. 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:17.320 You know USh Her, right right? 0:08:17.480 --> 0:08:21.080 She was just there so he can do his wardrobe change. 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:23.880 That she played the funk out of that guitar. 0:08:24.560 --> 0:08:26.120 I think that was pre recorded. Do you think that 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:28.280 was live her plan? 0:08:28.600 --> 0:08:29.120 I don't know. 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:32.720 I hope it was live. I don't know everything else 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:35.600 was live. They ain't pre recorded. Alicia King, we know that. 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:45.240 Had to be live, but this shows us exactly how 0:08:45.240 --> 0:08:48.280 the fuck media does us like, so we just supposed 0:08:48.320 --> 0:08:51.560 to forget that we heard that fucked up note and 0:08:51.640 --> 0:08:54.280 y'all going to replace this ship in post production with 0:08:54.440 --> 0:08:56.920 a we remember. 0:08:58.040 --> 0:08:58.320 I right? 0:08:58.400 --> 0:08:59.840 Man, I would have called him soon as I got 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:02.200 off stage. Y'all make sure y'all edit that ship before 0:09:02.360 --> 0:09:03.839 go out to the band, since I know they heard 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:05.600 it the first time before that for the people who 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:06.800 didn't hear it, they gonna hear. 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:10.559 It right like we be texting tale like, bitch, can 0:09:10.600 --> 0:09:13.600 you take this out about that ship out? I thought 0:09:13.600 --> 0:09:18.680 about it. Probably shouldn't say that right. That note was terrible, 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:20.880 and I feel like the Usher ship was the least 0:09:21.080 --> 0:09:24.400 of Alicia Keys worry that first that first fucking note 0:09:24.600 --> 0:09:25.440 nearly killed her. 0:09:26.679 --> 0:09:29.520 Right it was, man, But I give her a past 0:09:29.520 --> 0:09:31.840 because she she sound good usually. 0:09:32.160 --> 0:09:34.280 But who knows all them ships might have been edited to? 0:09:34.800 --> 0:09:36.760 Was Alicia Keys a singer though, the same way they 0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:38.840 be ragging on j Lo Like? I feel like Alicia 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:42.600 Keys is very very like musically inclined like when it 0:09:42.640 --> 0:09:45.199 comes to making music, But is. 0:09:45.160 --> 0:09:46.080 She really a singer? 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:50.880 She sound good at tiny desk I never listened to that. 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:53.040 She sound good. 0:09:53.040 --> 0:09:53.360 I don't know. 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:55.480 I feel like I feel like she'd be singing on 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:56.040 that piano. 0:09:56.120 --> 0:09:56.360 Child. 0:09:56.920 --> 0:10:08.400 Sometimes we let you Alicia side then hiccr Beyonce Like, oh, 0:10:08.440 --> 0:10:09.719 y'all thought y'all was doing so. 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:11.920 How about this? 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:15.800 Niggas pulling out cowboy boots and hass and everything right 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:16.640 at the super Bowl. 0:10:16.720 --> 0:10:19.719 Like Beyonce is a fucking virgo. When I say that 0:10:19.800 --> 0:10:22.720 bit yourselfish, she is selfish as the motherfucker. Like why 0:10:22.760 --> 0:10:26.200 you couldn't let Usher have his moment? Why you dropped 0:10:27.360 --> 0:10:30.800 to let that man have this? 0:10:31.000 --> 0:10:34.800 She did a proposal at Usher witting that's like somebody 0:10:35.320 --> 0:10:37.120 getting engaged as somebody else's with. 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:41.840 Yes, girl, Like it's cool, though, I feel like what 0:10:42.240 --> 0:10:44.320 we're taking it as a ship on Usher, But maybe 0:10:44.320 --> 0:10:46.280 it was like a ship on the whole super Bowl, 0:10:46.440 --> 0:10:49.840 because I'm pretty sure just tuning in to whatever she 0:10:50.000 --> 0:10:53.000 had going on after that, after her commercial drop, two 0:10:53.080 --> 0:10:55.319 minutes later, she dropped two whole songs. 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.160 Two songs, and here come my sister calling me in 0:10:58.160 --> 0:10:59.920 the middle of the work. They talking about you want 0:10:59.920 --> 0:11:02.880 to learn how to lie dance? Get off my phone. 0:11:06.000 --> 0:11:08.400 Beyonce said, y'all motherfuckers, ain't trying to give me this 0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:11.120 goddamn best album award. Oh okay, I got something for y'all. 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:14.560 Ass, I got something for y'all. But I am gonna 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:16.599 try to learn how to line dance whichever TikTok and 0:11:16.640 --> 0:11:18.400 make it. But please don't make it like that to me. 0:11:18.440 --> 0:11:23.440 A ship, fucking mathematical class ship. I would have learned 0:11:23.440 --> 0:11:24.000 this for God. 0:11:24.120 --> 0:11:26.480 Remember that video we had from that fucking party we 0:11:26.559 --> 0:11:28.560 hosted trying to do that. I'm gonna post that ship, bitch, 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:29.720 because we was killing it. 0:11:29.920 --> 0:11:32.040 Don't post it. It looked like I was getting crossed 0:11:32.120 --> 0:11:33.360 up on the basketball court. 0:11:37.840 --> 0:11:39.360 I feel like we was killing it. I don't know 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:43.720 about ju bitch was killing the. 0:11:45.240 --> 0:11:45.520 Girl. 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:46.560 You was doing it wrong too. 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:48.680 We looked like drunk. 0:11:48.760 --> 0:11:49.520 Let's go to something. 0:11:51.360 --> 0:11:51.600 Uh. 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:55.080 So Beyonce apparently some people were calling into this local 0:11:55.400 --> 0:12:00.040 country station requesting them to play her new songs, and 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.440 they like had to put a whole statement out, but 0:12:02.559 --> 0:12:04.080 how they don't fuck with that nigga bitch. 0:12:06.360 --> 0:12:09.400 No, so they sent an email back saying that we 0:12:09.440 --> 0:12:12.720 don't play Beyonce. This is a country music station, And 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:17.319 then all the Beyonce fans went crazy and was like calling, calling, calling, 0:12:17.400 --> 0:12:19.199 So then they had to put a statement out saying 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.400 like we love Beyonce and we hope these songs do 0:12:22.480 --> 0:12:26.480 well and so forth and so forth, like we're gonna 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:29.079 play it if it's country. We just basically didn't know 0:12:29.120 --> 0:12:29.959 it was country music. 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:32.640 But do they sound country? They sound kind of r 0:12:32.679 --> 0:12:33.800 and b ish to me. 0:12:34.600 --> 0:12:38.079 They don't sound that song that you played earlier, the 0:12:38.160 --> 0:12:42.040 Daddy song my Daddy said you Daddy last. 0:12:42.120 --> 0:12:44.720 That sounds more country. Yeah, that sounds more country to me. 0:12:44.800 --> 0:12:46.600 And actually, let me tell you it was a singer, 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:49.320 a country singer doing a cover that recently. 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:52.320 But let me tell you who in their country bag, 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:55.839 and they sound really good in their country bag. I 0:12:55.840 --> 0:12:58.000 don't know if y'all heard her music, her country music, 0:12:58.040 --> 0:12:59.200 but she doing the damn thing. 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:02.480 So that's another thing, because people was trying to say, oh, 0:13:02.520 --> 0:13:05.400 Beyoncelett and ky Michelle Shine and Kate Michelle was like, 0:13:05.440 --> 0:13:07.320 I'm kind of problem with that, Like why do we 0:13:07.360 --> 0:13:09.520 feel like as black people, like there's not enough space 0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.360 for all of us? You know what I'm saying? Like 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:14.880 ky Michelle can do that, but technically, if you listen 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:19.280 to Lemonade. Beyonce had that Daddy's Lesson song been out there. 0:13:19.400 --> 0:13:21.720 You know what I'm saying to me, that's more country 0:13:22.000 --> 0:13:25.720 than these two new songs. I don't see what the 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:29.640 problem is, Like why, y'all, I don't know, child, There's always. 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:30.920 Some there's always something, child. 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:33.440 They always gott to pit us against you against each other. 0:13:33.679 --> 0:13:36.800 But y'all definitely go check out ky Michelle country music. 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:37.480 It's really good. 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:40.600 Yeah, because she what is the Country Awards? Uh show? 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:44.320 Yeah? Yeah, the Country Music Awards. 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.480 Yeah, she performed this year or twenty twenty three came 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:50.640 and Shell performs. I guess Beyonce said, man, fuck that, 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:53.280 I'm coming for them awards next year. We'll see. Because 0:13:53.280 --> 0:13:55.880 this is supposed to be like an extension of Renaissance, 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:57.520 So this is Renaissance. 0:13:57.440 --> 0:13:59.760 Two Act too, Act too. 0:14:01.200 --> 0:14:01.360 Well. 0:14:01.400 --> 0:14:03.240 I'm just kind of grateful because all that ship I 0:14:03.280 --> 0:14:05.680 bought to wear to the Renaissance tour, I can bring 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.320 that ship out for one more time and have a 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:09.280 reason to wear that shit again, because. 0:14:09.400 --> 0:14:11.120 The fuck I'm gonna do with this ship, this hat 0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:12.400 and all this ship that I had. 0:14:13.360 --> 0:14:15.200 But that's different though, because it wasn't she had him 0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:18.400 having people dressed like astronauts, So now you're gonna. 0:14:18.160 --> 0:14:20.520 Be well, it wasn't, but it was like Rodeo too. 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:23.160 It was Rodeo kind of like with the hats and 0:14:23.200 --> 0:14:26.280 the boots and all that stuff that people had, So 0:14:26.320 --> 0:14:28.080 you can if you if you bought some of that, 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:29.000 you can mix a match. 0:14:30.160 --> 0:14:32.800 I'm definitely as much as the tickets was last year. 0:14:32.800 --> 0:14:34.400 I might have to wear the ship I had last 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:35.960 year because I can't afford another one. 0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:38.080 Shame y'all keep giving that lady y'all money. 0:14:38.240 --> 0:14:41.640 I had acts Usher on tour too, and his tickets 0:14:41.680 --> 0:14:42.200 is Charlotte. 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.360 I was like, I'm gonna have to pray about. 0:14:45.360 --> 0:14:49.000 Are you ain't tired, nigga? You just had that long 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:52.280 ass residency in Vegas, you just did the Super Bowl, 0:14:52.280 --> 0:14:56.160 and now you're going on tour ship tax man after 0:14:56.200 --> 0:15:03.840 that ass obviously, y'all. Let's get into our batty for 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:07.400 this week for February. Y'all know, we try to, you know, 0:15:07.960 --> 0:15:11.240 give a little shout out to people who make impressions 0:15:11.480 --> 0:15:14.680 on the culture then and now. And this week we're 0:15:14.680 --> 0:15:16.760 going to talk about scizza. Okay, because Sissa is on 0:15:16.800 --> 0:15:23.160 motherfucking fire. Take a few Grammys two weeks ago, and 0:15:23.320 --> 0:15:28.560 right now, Sissy is also celebrating so Os, her last album, 0:15:28.600 --> 0:15:31.280 becoming the first album by a black female artist to 0:15:31.280 --> 0:15:34.440 spend over a year in the top ten on the 0:15:34.480 --> 0:15:39.360 Billboard two hundred chart. Okay, I'm still listening to Control 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:45.160 like it came out yesterday. Sism makes some real timeless music, 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.040 like she's one of my favorite rbr. 0:15:46.880 --> 0:15:49.360 It sounds so good. She'd be having me and my 0:15:49.440 --> 0:15:52.280 feelings though, I'd be like waking up happy. I'll put 0:15:52.280 --> 0:15:53.680 on Scissa and I'd be like, I don't. 0:15:53.480 --> 0:15:57.040 Know, No, I don't think sism music don't make me 0:15:57.080 --> 0:16:00.000 feel like that. She has a way of her music 0:16:00.280 --> 0:16:02.760 has a way of like taking like fucked up shit, 0:16:03.440 --> 0:16:05.560 but like you become the hero by the end of 0:16:05.600 --> 0:16:05.960 the song. 0:16:07.400 --> 0:16:10.080 It's good, but I don't know. Sometimes the mood and 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:13.120 the song be melancholy, you know, and it just affects 0:16:13.120 --> 0:16:14.680 my spirit a little bit. I love it, though, don't 0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:16.600 get me wrong, because sometimes that's the mood I want. 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.840 Hmm. I didn't feel like that with so Os. I 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:21.640 don't feel like I feel like that with the songs 0:16:21.680 --> 0:16:25.520 off of Control. It's just it'd be fun, fun songs, 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:30.160 fun songs about fucked up shit like I'm never going 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:34.920 back to the strip club, never going back. I don't know. 0:16:35.040 --> 0:16:39.040 I like it. Shout out to Sissy. Y'all is a 0:16:39.280 --> 0:16:41.280 baddie who talks dag. 0:16:43.400 --> 0:16:47.760 Y'all, we got another wife, the Happiest Wife. This is 0:16:47.840 --> 0:16:50.960 part two and it's exciting and it's Lovers Week. We'll 0:16:51.000 --> 0:16:52.000 be right back, y'all. 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.480 All right, guys, I don't know if you listened last week, 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:01.120 but we had a guest on talking about being the 0:17:01.240 --> 0:17:03.800 happiest wife, and we had to come back with a 0:17:04.000 --> 0:17:06.879 part two because it was just so good. So today 0:17:06.920 --> 0:17:10.480 we have Jamila Watkins's mallet on. I found her Instagram. 0:17:10.680 --> 0:17:12.560 She was one of the ladies that was like, I 0:17:12.600 --> 0:17:15.000 am the happiest wife. She didn't have to be tagged, 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:19.080 she said for herself. She's the owner and operator of 0:17:19.160 --> 0:17:23.080 Jamila Divine Interiors and Lifestyle. She's a designer that was 0:17:23.080 --> 0:17:26.320 on Married to real Estate on HG TV. She's a 0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:29.520 relatory at Indigo Road Realty, and she is a graduate 0:17:29.800 --> 0:17:31.240 of Spelman University. 0:17:31.840 --> 0:17:33.560 Thank you you're a happy wife. 0:17:33.960 --> 0:17:38.240 Okay, most important. 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:40.600 I am thank you for having me. 0:17:40.960 --> 0:17:43.399 Yes, girl, thank you for joining us. We appreciate you. 0:17:43.480 --> 0:17:45.359 I know you was like, who is this random lady 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:47.560 in my DMS talking about my marriage? 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:52.280 I for you know, I forgot all about that. I 0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:56.200 was just chiming in and then I was like, oh, okay, 0:17:56.720 --> 0:18:00.280 I mean that works. Yeah, So Jamila, tell us what 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:05.879 makes you the happiest wife? I am the happiest wife 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:12.159 because my husband allows me to be me. He gives 0:18:12.200 --> 0:18:18.440 me grace to grow, and he supports me. He supports 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:22.919 everything as you can see, like just what you said, Like, 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:25.600 I'm a I'm a designer, I'm a real estate agent, 0:18:27.119 --> 0:18:31.600 I'm on TV. I'm also a mom of an eight 0:18:31.680 --> 0:18:34.280 year old. I'm sorry he's nine now he'll be mad 0:18:34.400 --> 0:18:37.479 like my year a nine year old he just turned nine, 0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:41.399 and two bonus sons who are in high school. So 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:44.760 I have a lot, a lot going on and he's 0:18:44.840 --> 0:18:50.720 extremely supportive and gracious with me through everything that I'm doing. 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:57.639 And because I've been through a lot in my life, 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:02.080 he's just been someone who doesn't allow me to use 0:19:02.160 --> 0:19:08.159 my traumas as a crutch but to you overcome that 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:10.800 victimhood and just really standing who I am. I feel 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:15.480 like he sees me for exactly who I am not 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:19.320 who he wants me to be, not who social media 0:19:20.520 --> 0:19:23.280 thinks that I am like he sees me for me, 0:19:23.359 --> 0:19:26.080 and he accepts that, and so it allows me to 0:19:26.280 --> 0:19:32.119 grow and flourish and show up the best way that 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:33.800 I can every single day. 0:19:34.280 --> 0:19:35.159 How did you guys be? 0:19:37.160 --> 0:19:42.200 So I met him? It's funny because I met him 0:19:42.560 --> 0:19:46.719 maybe twelve years ago. My friend used to work at 0:19:46.720 --> 0:19:50.960 his barbershop. He's a barber, and we met very briefly. 0:19:51.400 --> 0:19:53.440 But if you let him tell it, when we met, 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:56.040 I wasn't paying him any mind. He said that I 0:19:56.119 --> 0:19:58.480 was trapping. I was not trapping. I was doing hair. 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:02.360 I say. He said I was trapping because I had 0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:04.320 two phones, And so he came to the car to 0:20:04.400 --> 0:20:08.000 say she introduced him to me, and I didn't even 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:11.199 look up, like I know that I met him. I 0:20:11.240 --> 0:20:12.480 talked to him, but I didn't se him cause I 0:20:12.480 --> 0:20:14.679 didn't look up because I was working on two phones. 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:20.360 Mine kid was like eighteen at the time, trapping, trapping 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:24.679 bungles and doing so ins and all of that. And 0:20:24.760 --> 0:20:29.720 so we met very briefly. Twelve, you know, twelve, It 0:20:29.760 --> 0:20:31.480 could be more than that. Now I keep saying twelve. 0:20:31.520 --> 0:20:33.320 I was saying that when we first met, so maybe 0:20:33.359 --> 0:20:41.040 fourteen years ago. And so fast forward my sister, who 0:20:41.080 --> 0:20:45.520 I had just met. Long long story, like, I found 0:20:45.560 --> 0:20:48.159 out my dad was not my dad, and then I 0:20:48.200 --> 0:20:50.320 found out I had all these siblings. And I met 0:20:50.320 --> 0:20:53.199 my sister and she was already planning to move to 0:20:53.240 --> 0:20:58.280 Atlanta because she had you know, she was the barber 0:20:58.320 --> 0:21:00.640 as well. So she started to work in his shots, 0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:03.760 and she introduced us because when she came in town, 0:21:04.359 --> 0:21:09.840 we all went bowling with my niece, her daughter, my 0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:12.639 friend and her son and me and my son. We 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:16.840 went bowling, and so he came with his son just 0:21:16.880 --> 0:21:21.360 to hang out. And so when I met him, now, 0:21:21.440 --> 0:21:23.960 mind you, and he doesn't like when I say this, 0:21:24.040 --> 0:21:28.000 He won't he won't agree to it. My sister told 0:21:28.080 --> 0:21:30.920 he was looking for an interior designer. My sister was like, Oh, 0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:35.960 my sister's an interior designer. Here's her page. I followed 0:21:36.000 --> 0:21:38.240 up because I'm a follow up with you. Oh you're 0:21:38.280 --> 0:21:41.440 looking for Yeah, So I slid in his DM, sent 0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:44.919 him all my credentials and all of that, and he 0:21:45.040 --> 0:21:47.639 left me on red. So I had a bone to 0:21:47.680 --> 0:21:50.240 pick with him. When I saw him, I'm like, I 0:21:50.359 --> 0:21:54.240 messaged you and you left me on Red. I don't 0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:57.600 remember meeting him though, so I don't know him as 0:21:57.600 --> 0:21:59.320 far as I'm concerned. I don't know him and he 0:21:59.359 --> 0:22:03.720 doesn't know me. And so he's just like looking in 0:22:03.800 --> 0:22:08.239 my eyes like real deep, like while I'm talking to him, 0:22:08.240 --> 0:22:12.520 I'm like, hello, you left me on Red, and like 0:22:13.320 --> 0:22:16.760 he's still just like looking at me. And so I'm like, 0:22:16.960 --> 0:22:21.920 I start getting entrapped in this gaze. He's like got 0:22:21.920 --> 0:22:25.520 these light, honey brown eyes, just doing a lot. He 0:22:25.640 --> 0:22:29.680 got the little like, he got everything I like going on. 0:22:31.760 --> 0:22:34.840 So I'm trying to focus, and so I see where 0:22:34.840 --> 0:22:38.360 this is going. And I told him it's gonna it's 0:22:38.400 --> 0:22:42.560 either gonna be business or it's gonna be pleasure because 0:22:42.560 --> 0:22:44.119 I'm picking up what you're putting down right now, So 0:22:44.200 --> 0:22:47.919 let's go ahead because I don't do both. And so 0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:52.000 this is all probably within like three minutes. Like you're like, 0:22:52.040 --> 0:22:55.480 that's how he was doing a lot. He was doing 0:22:55.480 --> 0:23:00.439 a whole lot. So I put my number in his phone. No, 0:23:00.560 --> 0:23:04.320 he put his number in my phone and his name 0:23:04.400 --> 0:23:08.280 came up, and I'm like like, I don't know why 0:23:08.280 --> 0:23:10.639 your numbers on my phone, And I'm like maybe I 0:23:10.680 --> 0:23:13.359 wanted to because I cut my hair a lot. And 0:23:13.400 --> 0:23:16.800 I'm like, sudden, I'm like, I'm like, I'm not a creepy. 0:23:16.840 --> 0:23:19.600 I don't know why your numbers in my phone, Like 0:23:20.359 --> 0:23:23.120 I just don't understand. So we're trying to walk it back, 0:23:23.800 --> 0:23:25.800 like how do we know each other? I'm like, maybe 0:23:25.880 --> 0:23:27.760 I wanted to get a haircut because I cut my 0:23:27.800 --> 0:23:30.040 hair all the time. And he's like one of the 0:23:30.080 --> 0:23:34.160 best in the city and he is, if not the best, 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:39.720 and I'm not just saying that. And so we figured 0:23:39.760 --> 0:23:41.760 out that it was my friend that worked in the 0:23:41.800 --> 0:23:44.400 shop and La Da because he used to really look 0:23:44.440 --> 0:23:46.080 out for her and I used to look out for 0:23:46.119 --> 0:23:51.639 her as well, like and so I I'm that mom friend. 0:23:52.119 --> 0:23:54.000 So I'm like, send me the number of who you're with. 0:23:54.040 --> 0:23:56.639 I've always been that way, send me who you're going 0:23:56.720 --> 0:23:58.919 to be around. Who is this? So I so I 0:23:59.000 --> 0:24:03.240 had his number in my phone forever thanks to Apple, 0:24:03.280 --> 0:24:07.960 because you know them contacts stay for your lives for life. 0:24:08.240 --> 0:24:13.560 And so that literally that night after the Bowling Alley, 0:24:13.720 --> 0:24:18.360 I went home and we were texting and we met up. 0:24:19.040 --> 0:24:24.080 That night. I dropped my son off and my sister 0:24:24.160 --> 0:24:26.120 and my niece and they stayed at the house, and 0:24:26.160 --> 0:24:31.240 I went to his house and we talked like forever. 0:24:31.240 --> 0:24:33.960 It felt like forever. It's probably two hours, but it 0:24:34.000 --> 0:24:39.959 felt like forever. And we were inseparable ever since. There 0:24:40.000 --> 0:24:42.760 were you that day? 0:24:43.040 --> 0:24:45.560 Oh okay, So y'all got together during COVID. 0:24:46.040 --> 0:24:47.440 Well it was right after COVID. 0:24:47.440 --> 0:24:50.760 It was COVID was twenty twenty it was. 0:24:51.160 --> 0:24:54.680 It was spring twenty twenty one. So you know, we 0:24:54.680 --> 0:24:59.480 were all outside, even though we weren't especially it never 0:24:59.480 --> 0:25:02.920 should do. What is it? What is the uh what? 0:25:05.880 --> 0:25:08.400 I don't know what that is? Yeah, we was outside, 0:25:08.560 --> 0:25:11.920 no mask, no mask. So how did like, how did 0:25:11.960 --> 0:25:15.240 he propose? Like what was the how did he know he. 0:25:15.280 --> 0:25:17.159 Was ready for marriage? How did you know you were 0:25:17.200 --> 0:25:17.919 ready for marriage? 0:25:17.960 --> 0:25:25.320 Like? So we both were married before. So he had 0:25:25.440 --> 0:25:28.960 gotten divorced a few years ago. I was just getting 0:25:29.040 --> 0:25:35.800 divorced actually, and I just wasn't in a rush to 0:25:35.920 --> 0:25:39.040 like be in another relationship. But I knew that from 0:25:39.480 --> 0:25:41.320 the moment that I met him, that I wanted to 0:25:41.320 --> 0:25:46.280 be with him. Literally probably that week we was exchanging 0:25:46.359 --> 0:25:50.959 I love you like like we we just knew, and 0:25:51.400 --> 0:25:55.040 but I wasn't in a rush to be in a relationship. 0:25:55.080 --> 0:25:58.400 I wasn't like I've never been that person of like, 0:25:58.440 --> 0:26:02.199 what is this, what are we doing? I just haven't 0:26:02.800 --> 0:26:07.640 And so I think that was April. We met in August. 0:26:07.960 --> 0:26:12.200 We were at home. We were at my house hanging out, 0:26:12.800 --> 0:26:16.600 and he just asked me to marry him with no 0:26:16.720 --> 0:26:21.159 ring either, so I thought he was just talking, you know. 0:26:21.480 --> 0:26:23.520 So the next morning when we woke up, I was like, 0:26:23.560 --> 0:26:25.080 you know, he asked me to marry you, right, He 0:26:25.200 --> 0:26:27.600 was like, yes, and we're gonna go get your ring 0:26:28.280 --> 0:26:29.960 because I want you to pick it out because he 0:26:30.080 --> 0:26:33.720 knows me that I'm all about I'm very particular with 0:26:33.800 --> 0:26:35.960 aesthetics and stuff. So I guess he was like, I'm 0:26:35.960 --> 0:26:39.840 not finna stress myself out and you act like you 0:26:39.960 --> 0:26:40.960 like this ring and you don't. 0:26:41.080 --> 0:26:42.200 So that's a good man. 0:26:42.680 --> 0:26:47.520 So we went and we were right right right, so, 0:26:47.920 --> 0:26:51.080 and that was new to me. And he didn't get 0:26:51.119 --> 0:26:53.239 on one knee or nothing. We were just laying in 0:26:53.280 --> 0:26:55.879 bed and he asked me, now, I give you the 0:26:55.960 --> 0:26:58.200 premise that we were both married before, so I guess 0:26:58.680 --> 0:27:01.879 both of us are. We're just we don't need the 0:27:01.920 --> 0:27:04.960 big balloon arch with the marquee letters and the pedals 0:27:04.960 --> 0:27:08.159 in the ourway and the videographer and the this and 0:27:08.160 --> 0:27:13.040 the that, like I don't need it. I don't and 0:27:13.080 --> 0:27:16.080 he knows that about me as well, Like we're just 0:27:16.160 --> 0:27:21.040 kind of to the point people. But I really thought 0:27:21.080 --> 0:27:23.720 he was playing because there was no ring. You didn't 0:27:23.760 --> 0:27:27.080 get on one knee. So when he did get my ring, 0:27:27.440 --> 0:27:29.400 I already had it on. I took it off. I said, Okay, 0:27:29.440 --> 0:27:37.360 now you gotta get on one knee. Very very very raggedy. 0:27:37.520 --> 0:27:42.200 Not the most romantic music engagement story. 0:27:46.000 --> 0:27:46.080 But. 0:27:47.960 --> 0:27:56.720 Wise, yeah, it wasn't like, you know, not all of that. 0:27:56.840 --> 0:28:04.840 So that that's our engagement story. And then I guess, 0:28:04.880 --> 0:28:07.560 like a month later we just started planning the wedding 0:28:07.600 --> 0:28:10.359 and then we got married. So we got engaged in 0:28:10.400 --> 0:28:14.440 August of twenty twenty one, and we got married of September. 0:28:14.440 --> 0:28:17.160 Twenty months engagement, well not even three months, you guys, 0:28:17.200 --> 0:28:23.240 met in April, got engaged in August, and married September 0:28:23.320 --> 0:28:28.119 the next year, September twenty so it was about eighteen months. Yeah, 0:28:28.240 --> 0:28:30.320 what do you enjoy best about Like, what do you 0:28:30.400 --> 0:28:31.840 enjoy most about being married? 0:28:32.560 --> 0:28:38.320 I like having a partner and having it's the support 0:28:38.400 --> 0:28:41.840 and the partnership, which is something that I had to 0:28:43.240 --> 0:28:45.640 let me take that back. I mean, that is a 0:28:45.680 --> 0:28:49.800 good thing, it's a great thing. But what I enjoy 0:28:50.240 --> 0:28:54.360 most about marriage is like learning about myself, because you know, 0:28:54.400 --> 0:28:57.640 people will tell you that marriage is like holding a mirror. 0:28:59.040 --> 0:29:03.080 And so he's ten years older than me as well, 0:29:04.400 --> 0:29:08.960 so I learn a lot from him, which is different 0:29:09.160 --> 0:29:13.040 because I feel like in past relationships I was the 0:29:13.080 --> 0:29:19.360 one always teaching, and so it is an adjustment to 0:29:18.640 --> 0:29:23.320 be with somebody who has that wisdom. Sometimes they could 0:29:23.400 --> 0:29:28.600 be older but still child. So it's not really about age, 0:29:29.520 --> 0:29:34.680 but the way that he the way that he communicates, 0:29:34.680 --> 0:29:37.840 the way that he lives his life. He's very disciplined 0:29:39.080 --> 0:29:41.560 and so for me, and he's a creative, but he 0:29:41.720 --> 0:29:44.880 showed me that just because you're creative doesn't mean that 0:29:45.040 --> 0:29:49.520 you cannot have structure. And so he's taught me structure. 0:29:50.120 --> 0:29:57.360 He's taught me accountability, not making excuses like accountability is 0:29:57.400 --> 0:30:01.800 like a big thing, and so that's something. Yeah, it's 0:30:01.880 --> 0:30:05.600 something that I had to adjust because I've always been 0:30:05.880 --> 0:30:12.240 and I've changed this over time intentionally. I was always 0:30:12.320 --> 0:30:16.720 like the smartest one in the room. That's a bad thing. 0:30:17.400 --> 0:30:19.520 You know, that's not a good thing. I was always 0:30:19.600 --> 0:30:22.840 kind of a leader in every situation, whether it's like 0:30:22.880 --> 0:30:27.120 a relationship. I won't say a relationship because my previous marriage, 0:30:27.160 --> 0:30:31.160 I wasn't necessarily the leader, but like in friendships and 0:30:31.880 --> 0:30:34.320 business and all of that. And I realized how much 0:30:34.360 --> 0:30:37.120 that was holding me back. So having to learn how 0:30:37.120 --> 0:30:41.120 to humble myself has been a big thing. And I 0:30:41.120 --> 0:30:44.600 think when you're like a really high functioning woman and 0:30:44.680 --> 0:30:47.360 you've achieved a lot, you don't know how to take 0:30:47.400 --> 0:30:49.360 a back seat. We always say that we want somebody 0:30:49.440 --> 0:30:51.480 to take the rings and take the back seat, but 0:30:51.640 --> 0:30:54.680 our defense mechanisms and our trauma will not allow us. 0:30:54.520 --> 0:30:55.040 To do it. 0:30:56.400 --> 0:30:59.520 And so it's a real thing. It's not that easy 0:30:59.640 --> 0:31:02.760 to sit back and let somebody take the reins. However, 0:31:04.320 --> 0:31:08.280 you don't just get the reins just because you're the man, right, 0:31:08.880 --> 0:31:14.720 Like he showed me consistently that he was a leader 0:31:14.840 --> 0:31:20.080 and a provider. Like his number one thing was making 0:31:20.120 --> 0:31:24.400 sure that me and my son were comfortable. Notice I said, 0:31:24.480 --> 0:31:28.880 me and my son at his house. He had a 0:31:28.920 --> 0:31:31.440 he had an extra room. He said, get the bed. 0:31:31.720 --> 0:31:35.160 Mind you. This is like we met in April this 0:31:35.280 --> 0:31:39.680 was May. He switched his mattress to the mattress that 0:31:39.720 --> 0:31:47.520 I like. Coming back, he went and got all my 0:31:47.760 --> 0:31:52.320 feminine products, all the honeypot, hey, honeypot. Make sure he 0:31:52.400 --> 0:31:58.680 had that at the at the house for me. Told me, 0:31:58.840 --> 0:32:01.120 gave me his credit card to go get my son 0:32:01.160 --> 0:32:05.240 a bed and a mattress. He had a PS four 0:32:05.600 --> 0:32:11.600 no PS five at his dad's house, so he wanted 0:32:11.600 --> 0:32:13.800 to make sure that he had a PS five at 0:32:13.840 --> 0:32:22.520 my house. I mean at his house. He's just done 0:32:22.640 --> 0:32:28.440 all the things to show me that I could trust him, 0:32:28.480 --> 0:32:31.719 and so I did. But where I think a lot 0:32:31.760 --> 0:32:33.800 of women mess up is that there are good men 0:32:33.840 --> 0:32:36.320 out there and they will show you. But we look 0:32:36.360 --> 0:32:37.920 at it like uh uh, what do you want from me? 0:32:38.200 --> 0:32:40.200 Like why are you doing all of this? It's like 0:32:41.000 --> 0:32:44.960 what do you mean crazy? Like I'm doing this because 0:32:45.000 --> 0:32:48.280 I see that there is a need, like I'm doing this. 0:32:48.440 --> 0:32:52.360 But I think women are too focused on you know, 0:32:52.520 --> 0:32:57.560 is he giving me stacks of cash? Burking bags? And 0:32:57.600 --> 0:33:00.959 its started early now like my son in high school. 0:33:01.200 --> 0:33:03.480 These girls really want them want these little boys to 0:33:03.480 --> 0:33:05.880 buy them purses, like what. 0:33:06.960 --> 0:33:08.120 Like designer bags? 0:33:08.840 --> 0:33:14.320 Yes, this boy is on a meal plan. A bad. 0:33:17.880 --> 0:33:20.880 It's y'all millennial parents' faults, because y'all be rich as 0:33:20.880 --> 0:33:22.320 hell with these damn kids. 0:33:22.720 --> 0:33:25.560 I didn't have no designer clothes, nothing. 0:33:25.880 --> 0:33:28.720 I barely had nikes until I started babysitting by my 0:33:28.840 --> 0:33:29.360 first hand. 0:33:30.280 --> 0:33:32.360 I asked my friend the other day, what was it 0:33:32.400 --> 0:33:34.920 that we were requiring from boys in high school? 0:33:35.000 --> 0:33:37.040 And I just was like, now, you had to have 0:33:37.080 --> 0:33:39.360 a car to fuck with me, Okay, you got. 0:33:39.240 --> 0:33:40.720 To be able to bring in high school. 0:33:41.080 --> 0:33:43.200 Yes, I wasn't talking to people in high school. That's 0:33:43.200 --> 0:33:43.680 the problem. 0:33:44.640 --> 0:33:45.440 I wasn't either. 0:33:46.200 --> 0:33:46.640 I wasn't. 0:33:48.520 --> 0:33:50.520 You had to be able to bring much money. 0:33:50.560 --> 0:33:51.120 Okay. 0:33:51.720 --> 0:33:53.800 Where I messed up was having a car. Still, it 0:33:53.840 --> 0:33:57.760 was not a requirement. I had a car, and I 0:33:57.840 --> 0:34:05.120 was giving I was giving niggas game money, and I 0:34:05.240 --> 0:34:11.719 said it trash, trash behavior. I told you, I was 0:34:11.800 --> 0:34:17.600 always raggedy, very much raggedy, Like what like, I can't even, 0:34:17.760 --> 0:34:23.440 I can't even. I just I had life really messed 0:34:23.520 --> 0:34:27.359 up in misconstry, and I learned over time, like I 0:34:27.400 --> 0:34:30.960 was on my journey before I met him, but he 0:34:31.080 --> 0:34:36.279 kind of just showed me like, no, you can't do 0:34:36.360 --> 0:34:36.919 it like this. 0:34:37.680 --> 0:34:39.600 So one of the questions I was trying to ask 0:34:39.640 --> 0:34:43.160 our last guests because I think that how people are 0:34:43.280 --> 0:34:46.239 raised does reflect on, you know, how they view relationships, 0:34:46.280 --> 0:34:49.040 how they view marriage, what kind of you know, when 0:34:49.040 --> 0:34:51.239 I was going to going into super detail, like what 0:34:51.360 --> 0:34:57.120 kind of uh family background has he come from? 0:34:57.160 --> 0:35:03.120 So he he was born in Jamaica, he came over 0:35:03.160 --> 0:35:06.279 here and he was Yeah, so that that kind of 0:35:06.320 --> 0:35:09.120 answers a lot of questions, like, oh, okay, got it. Yeah, 0:35:09.120 --> 0:35:11.400 So he was born in Jamaica. He came to America 0:35:11.440 --> 0:35:15.720 when he was nine. He was raised by his stepdad 0:35:16.360 --> 0:35:21.120 and his mom when they got to the States. But 0:35:23.680 --> 0:35:27.200 he had you know, there were some a lot of 0:35:27.239 --> 0:35:34.240 trials and tribulations and without you know, just saying too much. 0:35:35.040 --> 0:35:39.680 He didn't have a childhood like when we talk about 0:35:39.960 --> 0:35:43.960 cartoons or things that kids would do like that, you know, 0:35:44.120 --> 0:35:47.600 back when he was growing up. He can't relate because 0:35:47.640 --> 0:35:50.160 he was driving trucks and he was working and he 0:35:50.360 --> 0:35:53.640 was like really doing hard work, like driving a truck 0:35:53.680 --> 0:35:57.760 at like ten, like without a CDL. 0:36:00.520 --> 0:36:05.560 Nothing about right, I got shree jobs. That's about it, right, Yeah, Yeah. 0:36:05.280 --> 0:36:13.040 So he he doesn't he knows how to provide, that's 0:36:13.120 --> 0:36:15.400 all he really knows how to do. I think that, 0:36:15.719 --> 0:36:19.680 like he he showed me how to have fun as well. 0:36:20.239 --> 0:36:22.319 But I think that I showed him how to like 0:36:22.440 --> 0:36:26.759 relax and enjoy life a little bit more. So he 0:36:26.840 --> 0:36:29.839 gave me the discipline I gave him, you know, the 0:36:30.560 --> 0:36:34.320 like the relaxation, like take care of yourself, like slow down, 0:36:34.880 --> 0:36:40.319 like it's okay. So yeah, yeah, mh. So that's how 0:36:40.360 --> 0:36:43.319 he that's how he grew up. So he is a 0:36:43.480 --> 0:36:47.080 very like no nonsense person, like to the max. 0:36:47.560 --> 0:36:48.240 What's his sign? 0:36:48.600 --> 0:36:53.360 He's a Leo last day of Leo, cusp of Virgo. 0:36:54.080 --> 0:36:58.280 Oh shit, and he was born in Jamaica and raised 0:36:58.320 --> 0:36:59.040 in Queens. 0:37:03.440 --> 0:37:04.360 What's your sign? 0:37:06.520 --> 0:37:11.960 I'm an aries okay, So does he have like strong, 0:37:12.160 --> 0:37:17.800 like masculine like head of household energy, like very almost 0:37:17.880 --> 0:37:22.160 because Virgo men always sometimes are very like like toxic 0:37:22.280 --> 0:37:25.280 masculine to the point where it's just like too strong sometimes, 0:37:25.360 --> 0:37:26.759 you think, so sometimes you. 0:37:26.800 --> 0:37:28.719 Had to be like I think Virgos are pimps the 0:37:28.760 --> 0:37:29.520 men and women. 0:37:29.719 --> 0:37:33.960 Yeah, the energy is very strong, almost toxic masculinity, you know, 0:37:34.120 --> 0:37:39.799 like traditional roles and things like that. 0:37:39.920 --> 0:37:43.000 So he's not he's actually not like that. I think 0:37:43.000 --> 0:37:45.560 we're the virgo because virgos are planners, Like they say, 0:37:45.600 --> 0:37:49.240 the best wedding planners and all of that are virgos. 0:37:49.560 --> 0:37:53.960 He is like very organized in a planner. And then 0:37:54.120 --> 0:37:59.040 the leo. It's definitely a high, high, high, high level 0:37:59.239 --> 0:38:06.560 of confidence. So to a lot of people it reads 0:38:06.600 --> 0:38:12.160 as arrogance because he's very much I said what I said, so, 0:38:12.800 --> 0:38:17.440 but I don't get toxic masculinity. I actually enjoy it 0:38:17.920 --> 0:38:21.799 because it's refreshing because I think nowadays the roles are 0:38:21.840 --> 0:38:25.080 like reversing, Like he cuts a lot of women's hair, 0:38:25.440 --> 0:38:31.000 and it's a lot of stories about women being the providers, 0:38:32.680 --> 0:38:39.480 and like it's like, we just don't. We don't rock 0:38:39.560 --> 0:38:44.640 that way now. He doesn't really care about traditional roles. 0:38:44.640 --> 0:38:47.920 We don't do traditional roles, but we do in the 0:38:48.000 --> 0:38:53.280 sense that the man should provide and have provision. However, 0:38:53.719 --> 0:38:56.640 he believes that a woman should always have something for herself. 0:38:57.040 --> 0:39:00.719 So he's really not into having like a housewife type 0:39:00.760 --> 0:39:05.120 of thing. Yeah, which I come from that. In my 0:39:05.280 --> 0:39:09.680 previous relationship, I was like to stay at home mom, 0:39:09.760 --> 0:39:12.320 stay at home wife. I have my businesses and stuff. 0:39:12.640 --> 0:39:16.000 I've always been an entrepreneur, but it was like a 0:39:16.040 --> 0:39:20.640 submissive kind of thing. And so I am someone that 0:39:20.760 --> 0:39:23.440 is just very submissive. Whether or not he values it, 0:39:23.960 --> 0:39:28.719 I know that it works for the relationship and we 0:39:28.840 --> 0:39:32.160 do submit to each other. But I am proudly a 0:39:32.400 --> 0:39:33.360 submissive wife. 0:39:34.080 --> 0:39:37.080 Does that look like for you to be a submissive wife? 0:39:37.320 --> 0:39:39.440 Because we talk about that shit all the time, and 0:39:39.480 --> 0:39:41.400 the internet talks about it all the time. And like 0:39:41.440 --> 0:39:43.439 you said, you guys submit to each other. That's where 0:39:43.480 --> 0:39:47.320 I lean more towards somebody may be better at something. 0:39:47.480 --> 0:39:49.440 This person may be better at something, you know, So 0:39:49.520 --> 0:39:52.799 you guys waiver in that way. But what does it 0:39:52.840 --> 0:39:55.760 look like for you to be a submissive wife? 0:39:56.960 --> 0:40:00.000 So I take care. I take care of the house, 0:40:00.640 --> 0:40:04.640 like to me, that is my job to make sure 0:40:04.680 --> 0:40:08.240 that the house is stocked, to make sure that I cook. 0:40:08.400 --> 0:40:11.759 He actually doesn't want me to do all of that 0:40:11.920 --> 0:40:14.320 because I have so many things going on in business. 0:40:14.320 --> 0:40:17.279 He wants me to like relax a little bit. But 0:40:17.440 --> 0:40:20.720 it's a double edged sword because we can't keep eating 0:40:20.719 --> 0:40:25.279 out because I'm trying to unbig this back. So it's 0:40:25.480 --> 0:40:28.680 in the best interest, Yes, it's in the best interest 0:40:28.719 --> 0:40:34.400 of everybody that we eat at home. But I enjoyed 0:40:34.480 --> 0:40:37.880 cooking for my family, Like if I don't get to 0:40:38.000 --> 0:40:42.520 cook for them, it starts to make me sad, like 0:40:42.719 --> 0:40:45.759 because I really love to care for my family. Like 0:40:46.480 --> 0:40:49.960 the boys have color coded towels, like these are your towels, 0:40:50.000 --> 0:40:52.560 These are your towels, These are your towels. However, I 0:40:52.600 --> 0:40:55.880 don't do like he told me not to do laundry. 0:40:56.640 --> 0:40:59.320 So I do my laundry. I do my son's laundry 0:40:59.320 --> 0:41:05.359 because he's a everybody else does their own laundry. I 0:41:05.360 --> 0:41:08.040 do clean most of the time, but that's because he's 0:41:08.040 --> 0:41:12.399 at work most of the time. I'm flexible because I'm here, there, 0:41:12.480 --> 0:41:15.680 everywhere with my job, so I try to stay on 0:41:15.760 --> 0:41:18.600 top of the cleaning. However, I am getting to a 0:41:18.640 --> 0:41:21.520 point now where I am like it's about to be 0:41:21.600 --> 0:41:25.120 delegation nation because I can't. I can't do it anymore. 0:41:25.320 --> 0:41:28.759 So I'm like pick, I'm picking the things that I 0:41:28.800 --> 0:41:32.440 can do while still balancing work. But I guess another 0:41:32.480 --> 0:41:37.960 way that I'm submissive is I I let him make 0:41:38.480 --> 0:41:42.960 the big decisions. We consult, but the default is that 0:41:43.040 --> 0:41:46.200 he's going to make the decisions for the for the 0:41:46.280 --> 0:41:47.800 family and what we're doing. 0:41:48.360 --> 0:41:53.600 So but let me ask you this, so in the 0:41:53.640 --> 0:41:56.160 instance that you don't really agree with the decision, you 0:41:56.320 --> 0:41:59.160 still allow him to make that decision for the family. 0:42:01.239 --> 0:42:06.440 I think at that point, if it's something where we 0:42:06.480 --> 0:42:08.920 need to do that, we'll have a conversation about it, 0:42:10.000 --> 0:42:15.239 but he's gonna get the final work. And I feel like, 0:42:15.400 --> 0:42:17.759 God ain't throwing me yet because maybe that is so 0:42:17.880 --> 0:42:24.520 hard for me right there, but because if it makes sense, 0:42:24.600 --> 0:42:28.040 I just trust him because everything that he does, he's 0:42:28.160 --> 0:42:31.920 very calculated in everything, and for me, I know that 0:42:32.360 --> 0:42:35.480 my strong suit. Like I'm a big picture person. He's 0:42:35.480 --> 0:42:39.560 a fine detailed person. He's a detail oriented person. So 0:42:39.880 --> 0:42:42.480 if it's something I'm looking at the big picture, I'm like, 0:42:42.520 --> 0:42:44.640 we should definitely just do this, and he's like no 0:42:44.880 --> 0:42:48.279 because of this, But I also have a very short 0:42:48.320 --> 0:42:51.600 attention span, so I'm just like whatever, Like you know, 0:42:51.640 --> 0:42:53.479 we're just gonna see where the chips fall. 0:42:53.800 --> 0:42:54.759 But he has not. 0:42:56.120 --> 0:42:58.600 He has not led us astray yet. It's we're going 0:42:58.640 --> 0:43:03.680 on three years being together and he has not led 0:43:03.760 --> 0:43:07.600 us astray. I'm always looking at a track record, and 0:43:07.680 --> 0:43:12.600 I am somebody that takes risks. I take risks and business. 0:43:12.680 --> 0:43:17.400 I take risks and love and I like to follow 0:43:17.480 --> 0:43:22.759 God's plan for marriage. I think that it's there for 0:43:22.840 --> 0:43:25.840 a reason and that people should try it out before 0:43:25.880 --> 0:43:28.240 they try to change it up and change all the rules. 0:43:28.280 --> 0:43:32.920 Because it's not just because the man is just more superior. 0:43:33.800 --> 0:43:41.239 It's that God knows our our capacity for things. He 0:43:41.400 --> 0:43:44.239 knows as what a woman's capacity is, he knows what 0:43:44.280 --> 0:43:48.279 a man's capacity is. And if everybody is striving to 0:43:48.520 --> 0:43:52.200 be like at the top and strive toward that capacity 0:43:52.239 --> 0:43:55.120 and what they're doing, then I think that the family 0:43:55.280 --> 0:44:02.080 and the household will, you know, stay afloat and will prosper. Hm. 0:44:02.880 --> 0:44:06.879 Let me ask you this co parenting and things like that. 0:44:07.080 --> 0:44:07.759 You know y'all will not. 0:44:07.800 --> 0:44:08.960 I guess it's not co parenting. 0:44:09.239 --> 0:44:11.520 What would you call it? Y'all have a blended family? 0:44:12.120 --> 0:44:14.680 How does that work? Because he has kids from a 0:44:14.719 --> 0:44:18.000 previous relationship and you have a son from a previous relationship. 0:44:18.200 --> 0:44:22.920 How's that working. 0:44:25.920 --> 0:44:30.839 I'm gonna just leave them off. I will say this. 0:44:32.440 --> 0:44:36.879 His ex wife and myself we have a very great relationship. 0:44:36.920 --> 0:44:42.880 She's also remarried, and so our side of the world 0:44:43.640 --> 0:44:53.520 me him, his ex wife, her husband, the kids her. 0:44:54.880 --> 0:44:58.520 So he also has a step son, his dad, and 0:44:58.600 --> 0:45:06.760 her wife. We're good. On my side. God's still working. 0:45:07.440 --> 0:45:13.840 I'm gonna just say that. Oh yeah, yeah, he's also remarried. 0:45:16.360 --> 0:45:22.280 It's a work in progress, and it definitely has grown 0:45:22.360 --> 0:45:25.680 me up and gotten me closer to God in terms 0:45:25.719 --> 0:45:33.280 of forgiveness, in terms of patience, patience, and grace, because 0:45:33.280 --> 0:45:37.960 at the end of the day, the kids are, you know, 0:45:38.200 --> 0:45:43.600 are the ones who suffer. And so I have just 0:45:43.719 --> 0:45:47.400 been working on regardless of how I feel or how 0:45:47.440 --> 0:45:50.160 I feel I've been wronged, or how he feels he's 0:45:50.200 --> 0:45:56.160 been wronged or whatever, I have been taking the stance. 0:45:56.239 --> 0:45:58.240 And I'm not gonna say it's been a long time. 0:45:58.960 --> 0:46:02.600 It's still recent developments. Okay, this is very now, like 0:46:03.760 --> 0:46:08.080 two weeks ago. I'm just. 0:46:08.000 --> 0:46:10.680 But you said, the kids are the ones who suffer. 0:46:10.760 --> 0:46:12.560 The kids are the ones who suffered most. 0:46:13.000 --> 0:46:17.000 Because if my latest relationship that bitch took me through it, 0:46:17.080 --> 0:46:18.320 I definitely suffered. 0:46:18.600 --> 0:46:20.840 So the kids suffered most. 0:46:21.160 --> 0:46:27.840 Though, yeah, I mean we suffered too. But I have 0:46:28.000 --> 0:46:33.040 looked at my relationship with my mom and my dad. Now, 0:46:33.080 --> 0:46:35.399 I told y'all before I just found out my dad 0:46:35.480 --> 0:46:40.440 was not my dad, and so they both knew that 0:46:40.520 --> 0:46:46.799 he wasn't my dad. But so there's that trauma there 0:46:47.440 --> 0:46:51.880 and this is now. There was already some trauma there 0:46:52.719 --> 0:46:59.080 and now there's even more because the recent developments. And 0:46:59.200 --> 0:47:03.399 so I'm trying my best, like into my life's work, 0:47:03.600 --> 0:47:06.960 not to f up my kids as much as possible. 0:47:07.520 --> 0:47:10.960 And I'm still human, So i still want to go off. 0:47:11.160 --> 0:47:17.840 I still want to get my lip back. But you 0:47:18.000 --> 0:47:20.439 have to question, like, if you say you love your kid, 0:47:20.640 --> 0:47:23.399 this is a part of loving your kids, because people 0:47:23.400 --> 0:47:25.200 are like, I love my kids, my kids, my kids. 0:47:25.280 --> 0:47:29.319 But you are hooping and hollering and fighting in front 0:47:29.360 --> 0:47:33.960 of your kid, You are talking badly about the other parent. 0:47:34.360 --> 0:47:37.719 You are, you know, exposing them to things that it 0:47:37.840 --> 0:47:40.400 might seem like they're okay because kids are very resilient. 0:47:40.960 --> 0:47:43.440 But I'm not trying to have a conversation with you 0:47:43.480 --> 0:47:46.480 when you're thirty five about you did this to me, 0:47:46.560 --> 0:47:47.840 You did that to me, you did because I'm have 0:47:47.880 --> 0:47:51.600 a because I do our parents right, how we do 0:47:51.680 --> 0:47:55.400 our parents. I'm gonna have a big, big attitude with 0:47:55.480 --> 0:47:59.120 you because do you know what I went through? Right 0:48:00.160 --> 0:48:01.759 at the end of the day, it doesn't matter to 0:48:01.840 --> 0:48:06.080 a kid, like all they know is that what they're 0:48:06.320 --> 0:48:08.560 especially when they grow up, like, all we know is 0:48:08.600 --> 0:48:11.640 that we have so much that we went through and 0:48:11.680 --> 0:48:14.880 now it's blocking us from being able to be like 0:48:15.239 --> 0:48:20.800 regular functioning adults. Whatever that is, whatever that is, because 0:48:20.800 --> 0:48:25.360 what is that? We don't at this don't know what 0:48:25.440 --> 0:48:29.000 that is. We're all in therapy. Everybody's in therapy. We're 0:48:29.040 --> 0:48:32.880 from no therapy to everybody's in therapy. 0:48:34.200 --> 0:48:37.120 That part because everybody is not in therapy. 0:48:37.880 --> 0:48:39.240 Yeah. 0:48:39.320 --> 0:48:42.000 So you got big business, your big realtor, you have 0:48:42.080 --> 0:48:42.959 the big. 0:48:45.080 --> 0:48:45.600 Convinual. 0:48:45.640 --> 0:48:46.880 I don't know that. I don't want to call it 0:48:46.920 --> 0:48:52.319 home decorating, your interior, design, your interior. How do you 0:48:52.440 --> 0:48:55.759 balance your personal life because you still have you right 0:48:57.600 --> 0:49:01.440 and then the union or because I know some women 0:49:01.480 --> 0:49:04.120 they just like be like super co dependent on their partner. 0:49:04.160 --> 0:49:05.680 You won't even talk to them no more once they 0:49:05.680 --> 0:49:10.799 get a man, honey, So how do you balance you know, 0:49:10.880 --> 0:49:15.920 your personal life and also having a union or is 0:49:15.960 --> 0:49:17.759 it one and the same. Now you don't have a 0:49:17.760 --> 0:49:18.880 personal life anymore. 0:49:19.960 --> 0:49:25.400 So I actually have an amazing personal life, Like I 0:49:25.440 --> 0:49:28.759 have an amazing social life. I'll say that. And I 0:49:28.760 --> 0:49:32.120 had to work toward it because I was I was 0:49:32.200 --> 0:49:38.600 that wife before, where I'm just about my family, my 0:49:38.680 --> 0:49:41.160 husband and my kid, Like, no, I can't go to 0:49:41.200 --> 0:49:45.040 the point I stopped getting invitations to things, and you 0:49:45.280 --> 0:49:47.560 you want to be salty, like not like they turn 0:49:47.640 --> 0:49:50.680 their back on me. No, you just fell off the 0:49:50.680 --> 0:49:52.520 face of the earth. And people had to move on 0:49:52.640 --> 0:49:55.960 with their life. Don't Nobody got time to be babysitting you, 0:49:56.080 --> 0:50:04.319 trying to coach you to come out. And so I 0:50:04.480 --> 0:50:07.160 made I had to just be intentional, like I was 0:50:07.239 --> 0:50:11.520 intentional about I want like all my friends. Like I 0:50:11.600 --> 0:50:16.440 went from really having no real social life having a 0:50:16.440 --> 0:50:23.640 lot of backstabbing friends. We were in my previous marriage, 0:50:23.680 --> 0:50:28.640 he was like very successful. Everybody was kind of mooching 0:50:28.680 --> 0:50:32.600 off of him, like sweets at the at the games, 0:50:32.719 --> 0:50:38.040 you know, big parties, car service, all of that. 0:50:38.160 --> 0:50:39.360 So we had a lot. 0:50:39.160 --> 0:50:41.960 Of people around us that wanted to be around us 0:50:42.000 --> 0:50:45.479 just for what they could gain. And so I did 0:50:45.520 --> 0:50:48.120 have friends. And this is what we don't realize is 0:50:48.120 --> 0:50:51.319 we do have good people around us. We're just too 0:50:51.440 --> 0:50:55.400 concerned dealing with all of that over there. So luckily, 0:50:55.600 --> 0:50:58.319 by the time I got I was getting remarried, Like 0:50:58.920 --> 0:51:04.680 I went from literally no real friendship dynamics to eighteen 0:51:04.719 --> 0:51:11.880 women at my bachelorette party, all close friends. Literally, even like, 0:51:12.200 --> 0:51:14.080 how do you have eighteen close friends? I'm trying to 0:51:14.120 --> 0:51:18.840 wonder the same thing, like, but but these women, like 0:51:18.880 --> 0:51:22.279 they showed up for me. They continue to be my community. 0:51:22.560 --> 0:51:24.520 You know, we don't all hang out together. I have 0:51:24.560 --> 0:51:29.160 different pockets of friends, but so I have them. They're 0:51:29.920 --> 0:51:32.360 move you know, they're growing in their life, they're getting engaged, 0:51:32.360 --> 0:51:34.960 they're having kids. So because I had kids so early, 0:51:35.160 --> 0:51:38.600 because I was married so early, they're going they're you know, 0:51:38.680 --> 0:51:41.360 experiencing those things now. So we can kind of relate 0:51:41.400 --> 0:51:43.560 and they can kind of give me grace and understand 0:51:43.640 --> 0:51:45.480 why I was the way that I was because it 0:51:45.560 --> 0:51:49.840 is hard to manage. But having female friendships and having 0:51:49.920 --> 0:51:55.400 sisterhood is literally like the cheat code to life. And 0:51:55.480 --> 0:51:59.719 my husband supports that. Yeah, my husband supports that. It 0:52:00.200 --> 0:52:02.040 was weird at first. He was like, you're not going 0:52:02.080 --> 0:52:07.960 out with your friends. I'm like, now I'm with you. Oh, 0:52:08.000 --> 0:52:10.080 we're gonna be together. Like that was just how my 0:52:10.160 --> 0:52:12.200 mind works. It's like my man, my man, my man. 0:52:12.239 --> 0:52:15.400 We do everything together. And he is a little bit older, 0:52:15.440 --> 0:52:17.440 and it used to hurt my feelings at first, but 0:52:17.520 --> 0:52:21.759 I had to understand, like it's okay to have a 0:52:21.840 --> 0:52:25.160 life outside of marriage, and he gave me permission to 0:52:25.160 --> 0:52:27.440 have a life outside of marriage. Like if I have 0:52:27.520 --> 0:52:29.440 to work late, He's like, that's what you do when 0:52:29.440 --> 0:52:31.400 you're building a business. It's okay to work late. Like 0:52:31.400 --> 0:52:34.040 he's not on me because I have to be here 0:52:34.120 --> 0:52:37.040 or I have to be there. You know, he saw 0:52:37.080 --> 0:52:40.400 how much he just jumps into help. So instead of 0:52:40.520 --> 0:52:45.239 ragging on me, he thinks of solutions to help me, 0:52:46.239 --> 0:52:48.879 Like we had. You know, I'm trying to do all 0:52:48.920 --> 0:52:54.560 of this. I'm loading my car, hiring moving services and stuff. 0:52:54.560 --> 0:52:58.080 He bought me a sprinter van, a cargo man okay 0:52:58.520 --> 0:53:03.560 and right, and he bought me my personal car literally 0:53:03.560 --> 0:53:05.600 in the same month. But that's not a flex at all. 0:53:05.800 --> 0:53:07.120 It is. 0:53:12.560 --> 0:53:15.120 So what we're is, you gotta have some money to 0:53:15.160 --> 0:53:22.040 be a good husband. Okay. I think that it helps. 0:53:21.880 --> 0:53:26.360 That it helps. Money helps, for sure, But he's not 0:53:26.560 --> 0:53:30.560 somebody that's gonna He does buy me things, but I 0:53:30.560 --> 0:53:34.919 don't really value that a whole lot, like a lot 0:53:34.920 --> 0:53:38.480 of expensive gifts. I like experiences and I like for 0:53:38.920 --> 0:53:40.799 things for my business. I like my business to be 0:53:40.840 --> 0:53:42.839 invested in because I have a lot that I want 0:53:42.880 --> 0:53:47.160 to do. So that's where that support. Where I start 0:53:47.239 --> 0:53:49.600 off by saying, like the best thing about marriage is 0:53:49.600 --> 0:53:53.440 like the support. That is what helps me, because I 0:53:53.480 --> 0:53:56.920 think the biggest thing with women, especially moms and wives 0:53:57.000 --> 0:53:59.640 is the guilt of like, if I do this or 0:53:59.680 --> 0:54:02.320 if I case my dreams, then I'm gonna be leaving 0:54:02.320 --> 0:54:05.080 my family behind because you know, they're gonna have their 0:54:05.239 --> 0:54:07.480 like you're not here, you know all of that. And 0:54:07.520 --> 0:54:10.160 my son he's still very like I don't want to 0:54:10.160 --> 0:54:12.680 say clingy, but he's a boy. He's a you know, 0:54:12.960 --> 0:54:15.279 he's a mama's boy. So if I'm working a lot, 0:54:16.000 --> 0:54:18.799 he does explain that to be to me. But my 0:54:18.960 --> 0:54:21.959 husband is very intentional about spending a lot of time 0:54:22.000 --> 0:54:24.440 with him as well, even though we both work a 0:54:24.440 --> 0:54:26.920 whole lot. Like he's the one that plans all the 0:54:26.960 --> 0:54:32.279 different trips or activities and things like that. So if 0:54:32.280 --> 0:54:35.000 I'm working, he'll take him, Like my son will go 0:54:35.000 --> 0:54:36.839 to the barbershop with him. Then they might go get 0:54:36.880 --> 0:54:39.840 ice cream, or they'll go to the mall. They're like 0:54:39.960 --> 0:54:42.200 doing all these things. So it's not like my son 0:54:42.280 --> 0:54:46.400 is just sitting at home alone or bored or just 0:54:46.520 --> 0:54:51.920 on his video games or things like that. So it helps. 0:54:51.960 --> 0:54:54.400 And I think the reason why I'm I don't I 0:54:54.400 --> 0:54:56.600 don't want to say that I'm balancing right now like 0:54:57.520 --> 0:55:00.960 Egypt who owns Indigo Road, the real ty the real 0:55:01.040 --> 0:55:02.600 estate firm that I work for, and the show that 0:55:02.640 --> 0:55:06.120 I'm on. She said this in an interview. She said, 0:55:06.239 --> 0:55:08.480 you can have it all but not at once, but 0:55:08.520 --> 0:55:13.759 not all at once. So it's just understanding seasons, like 0:55:13.800 --> 0:55:15.960 there's a season for this, there's a season for that. 0:55:16.200 --> 0:55:19.160 And if you want to have a season of like 0:55:21.560 --> 0:55:24.960 relaxation and self care and all of that stuff, I 0:55:25.000 --> 0:55:29.240 think you need to intentionally work toward it, like I'm 0:55:29.280 --> 0:55:32.360 a grind it out right now because I know in 0:55:32.480 --> 0:55:36.239 six months I really need to sit suck down, like 0:55:36.320 --> 0:55:40.800 I need to relax. And so that I don't really 0:55:41.120 --> 0:55:43.319 believe in balance. I don't think that it exists. I 0:55:43.360 --> 0:55:47.239 think you have good days and you have bad days. 0:55:47.480 --> 0:55:49.719 There's gonna be days where you're really really tired. It's 0:55:49.760 --> 0:55:52.360 gonna be days where you're crying, Like I'll be driving 0:55:53.320 --> 0:55:59.040 crying because I'm tired. But at the end of the day, 0:55:59.480 --> 0:56:02.279 this is what I ask God for so I try 0:56:02.320 --> 0:56:09.280 to have a like a state of gratitude right because 0:56:09.640 --> 0:56:13.920 I really am living my dreams and being able to see, 0:56:14.040 --> 0:56:17.920 especially like with Egypt to seeing how she runs her 0:56:18.000 --> 0:56:20.799 business and seeing how she has you know, she has kids, 0:56:20.800 --> 0:56:22.840 and she has a husband. She works with her husband, 0:56:22.880 --> 0:56:25.920 and I see days that she's very tired, and I 0:56:25.960 --> 0:56:28.080 see days that she's on top of it. And so 0:56:28.239 --> 0:56:31.359 seeing her has been a blessing because it doesn't it 0:56:31.400 --> 0:56:33.479 allows me to not look at what I'm going through 0:56:33.520 --> 0:56:36.120 and like getting a pit like oh I'm bailing, Like no, 0:56:36.239 --> 0:56:38.680 this is just part of it. The ebbs and plus, 0:56:38.880 --> 0:56:43.799 this is just part of it. There's really no easy way. 0:56:43.800 --> 0:56:46.800 I've been working for myself since I was twelve, literally, 0:56:46.880 --> 0:56:50.239 and I have clients that have been working with me 0:56:50.360 --> 0:56:53.640 in some capacity, you know, the same ones from when 0:56:53.640 --> 0:56:55.680 I was twelve. I'm doing their houses. I used to 0:56:55.680 --> 0:56:57.680 be hearing. Now I'm doing their houses. And it's like 0:56:58.280 --> 0:57:03.840 there is no shortcut. It's gonna be hard. Like a 0:57:03.960 --> 0:57:07.279 husband is not gonna fix it. It's gonna help, you know, 0:57:07.360 --> 0:57:10.840 he's gonna help if he's a good one. But you 0:57:10.880 --> 0:57:12.960 know the things that we think we need to be 0:57:13.000 --> 0:57:18.200 successful or to have like this life. We really that's 0:57:18.240 --> 0:57:22.040 not necessarily the key to it. The key is to 0:57:22.600 --> 0:57:25.040 kind of like just chill out and understand the ebbs 0:57:25.040 --> 0:57:27.560 and flows of life and to be in a state 0:57:27.600 --> 0:57:30.080 of gratitude as much as possible. 0:57:33.680 --> 0:57:36.240 All the pieces of creat we know marriage is. Marriage 0:57:36.240 --> 0:57:39.560 could be so wonderful, right, But on the other side, 0:57:39.760 --> 0:57:43.360 you know, it is work. I feel like relationships are work. 0:57:43.480 --> 0:57:45.640 I don't know. I would love a relationship where it 0:57:45.680 --> 0:57:48.640 doesn't feel like work. But anything worth having you gotta 0:57:48.680 --> 0:57:51.120 work at it. So what are some of the ways, 0:57:51.160 --> 0:57:56.280 like you and your husband when y'all have disagreements? Like, 0:57:56.360 --> 0:58:00.520 how do y'all have constructive disagreements? I guess I don't 0:58:00.520 --> 0:58:04.240 know constructive arguments, But how do y'all have no conflict 0:58:04.280 --> 0:58:05.440 in your partnership? 0:58:07.200 --> 0:58:11.520 So I will say this, it was an adjustment being 0:58:11.600 --> 0:58:19.280 in a healthy relationship because I thought when you argued 0:58:19.760 --> 0:58:24.200 it was like World War three is silent treatment. It 0:58:24.320 --> 0:58:30.360 might be a lot of like aggression and violence and 0:58:30.480 --> 0:58:36.280 all kinds of things. But for him, he will just 0:58:36.440 --> 0:58:38.800 take a minute. And I wasn't used to that. I'm like, no, 0:58:38.840 --> 0:58:43.160 we need to talk about this now. For him, it's 0:58:43.280 --> 0:58:46.680 like he just won't talk, and I took that as 0:58:46.760 --> 0:58:49.160 like stonewalling and silent treatment. That was kind of my 0:58:49.240 --> 0:58:52.000 trauma's kind of coming in, like oh, here we go again, 0:58:52.040 --> 0:58:54.880 because that's when you've been in traumatic situations, your your 0:58:54.920 --> 0:58:59.000 intens are up because you're like, oh no, here we 0:58:59.080 --> 0:59:02.920 go and put myself in another situation, you know. And 0:59:03.000 --> 0:59:05.480 I had to really calm down with that. So with 0:59:05.680 --> 0:59:10.520 our disagreements, I've learned to just give him space, like 0:59:10.640 --> 0:59:13.720 that's what he needs. I don't need space. I want 0:59:13.720 --> 0:59:17.520 to talk about it now, but I have learned to 0:59:18.560 --> 0:59:24.640 just journal it, get my feelings out, everything that I 0:59:24.800 --> 0:59:30.200 want to say, get it out, pray about it, and 0:59:30.240 --> 0:59:34.440 then if I'm still hyped up, then he's gonna get 0:59:34.440 --> 0:59:39.440 that long text message. I just feel like, you know, 0:59:39.720 --> 0:59:42.520 I I still do that because it's like no, I 0:59:42.520 --> 0:59:50.880 need you to under like understand. But yeah, yeah, I 0:59:51.280 --> 0:59:54.200 tell people that because when I work with some of 0:59:54.240 --> 0:59:58.600 my clients that have been through like similar situations and 0:59:58.720 --> 1:00:01.520 like relationships and Trump and stuff, I'm like, just right, 1:00:01.800 --> 1:00:04.600 write out your feelings or write the apology that you 1:00:04.720 --> 1:00:08.680 want that you may not ever get, like, just write 1:00:08.680 --> 1:00:12.120 it for yourself and give give yourself the apology because 1:00:12.160 --> 1:00:14.080 you might get it, they might come to their senses 1:00:14.280 --> 1:00:15.480 or you won't. 1:00:16.240 --> 1:00:22.720 So you kind of you write an apology. Ask them. Mhmm, 1:00:24.120 --> 1:00:26.600 ask them. Okay, that's interesting. 1:00:27.880 --> 1:00:31.080 But if if that's the if that's the apology that 1:00:31.120 --> 1:00:37.480 you need, then write it out. Yeah, and then you know, 1:00:37.600 --> 1:00:43.280 sometimes I will apologize to myself for allowing myself to 1:00:43.400 --> 1:00:48.080 be put in that in that situation, even in our marriage, 1:00:48.160 --> 1:00:51.919 Like I feel like there's some ways where I get 1:00:51.920 --> 1:00:55.080 beside myself and I might get very emotional about it, 1:00:55.200 --> 1:00:57.800 knowing that I should not have been that emotional about it, 1:00:58.080 --> 1:01:01.560 and so I just forgive myself for like allowing my 1:01:02.040 --> 1:01:07.400 traumas to lead me as opposed to just really like 1:01:07.800 --> 1:01:12.520 thinking clearly through things and learning that feelings are not facts. 1:01:12.640 --> 1:01:15.680 I really like moved through life off of my feelings 1:01:15.760 --> 1:01:18.479 for a long time, and so he taught me how 1:01:18.560 --> 1:01:21.480 to see things for what it is and handle it 1:01:21.560 --> 1:01:24.760 for what it is. I think that he like he's 1:01:24.960 --> 1:01:33.480 he's a Leo Burgo cusp, and so he doesn't apologize, 1:01:33.480 --> 1:01:37.320 Like he doesn't say I'm sorry, like it's not in 1:01:37.360 --> 1:01:41.080 his vocabulary. But he has other ways in which he 1:01:41.120 --> 1:01:44.560 takes accountability, but like to say I'm sorry. Like I 1:01:44.600 --> 1:01:52.000 had to learn my mate in that what he like, 1:01:53.720 --> 1:01:57.200 how did I say this? I used to hang on 1:01:57.280 --> 1:01:59.360 to the fact that he would not say I'm sorry 1:01:59.440 --> 1:02:01.959 or I apolologize, and I had to understand that that's 1:02:02.040 --> 1:02:05.320 not in his language, and that I need to kind 1:02:05.320 --> 1:02:08.120 of look through and sift through what he's saying to 1:02:08.360 --> 1:02:12.080 understand that, oh, that was an apology and that was accountability. 1:02:12.080 --> 1:02:14.600 Because I'm gonna keep running it through until I get 1:02:14.640 --> 1:02:28.000 my I'm sorry. No, don't say me no means don't 1:02:28.560 --> 1:02:34.480 talk about power episodes. No, I want to hear I'm sorry, 1:02:34.760 --> 1:02:36.840 and then we can move on. 1:02:38.120 --> 1:02:39.600 That's how our parents used to say. 1:02:41.000 --> 1:02:49.760 They did some nerds right, And I'm like, I don't 1:02:49.760 --> 1:02:51.680 want to sweep. I don't want I don't want to 1:02:51.680 --> 1:02:54.800 sweep anything under the rug, like in this relationship, like 1:02:54.840 --> 1:02:58.880 we need to handle everything head on. But at the 1:02:58.920 --> 1:03:01.160 same time, just because that's how I do things, I 1:03:01.200 --> 1:03:03.720 can't expect him to do things like that. But we 1:03:03.840 --> 1:03:08.520 have started to learn each other's styles, and so I 1:03:08.600 --> 1:03:13.160 have gotten It's only been once where he said I'm sorry, 1:03:13.920 --> 1:03:16.280 and I wanted to have a whole parade like, you 1:03:17.560 --> 1:03:20.360 say it again. What you say, say it loud, let 1:03:20.400 --> 1:03:24.800 me record you next time I can't hear you. Well, 1:03:28.080 --> 1:03:29.080 I'm like, yes. 1:03:29.280 --> 1:03:31.840 I'm not like that. I don't need sorries. I don't 1:03:31.920 --> 1:03:35.200 like sorry either, Like I hate saying sorry. So I 1:03:35.240 --> 1:03:38.000 tried to do things to have to apologize for it. Right, 1:03:38.320 --> 1:03:42.120 But if you're with somebody who's always quick with an apology. 1:03:42.120 --> 1:03:45.080 We could take Kanye West for an example. Kanye keep 1:03:45.120 --> 1:03:51.080 apologizing to the uh uh, to Jewish people, them people. Okay, 1:03:51.120 --> 1:03:55.040 he keeps apologizing, but at the same time, he keeps violating. Right, 1:03:55.120 --> 1:03:57.760 So don't apologize to me if you're going to keep violating. 1:03:57.760 --> 1:04:02.680 I like behavior. Change behavior is a great apology. You 1:04:02.760 --> 1:04:06.400 never have to say I'm sorry, aj, you just do 1:04:06.840 --> 1:04:09.600 the right thing going forward. So does he at leave 1:04:09.680 --> 1:04:12.479 yet in correct in that way so that he didn't 1:04:12.480 --> 1:04:15.200 have he doesn't have to apologize like the word. 1:04:15.280 --> 1:04:19.640 Yeah, that's that's his thought process. It's change behavior for sure, 1:04:20.960 --> 1:04:24.160 And I just need to make sure that I'm keeping 1:04:24.280 --> 1:04:28.960 my intennas up for the change behavior and not taking 1:04:28.960 --> 1:04:32.320 it for granted. I think that's a big thing in relationships, 1:04:32.480 --> 1:04:35.680 is to be very in tune to when your your 1:04:35.720 --> 1:04:39.920 spouse is making those changes, because you know this is 1:04:39.960 --> 1:04:42.720 not school. I don't need to be like, hey, I 1:04:42.800 --> 1:04:45.120 did this today, I'm changing my behavior. 1:04:45.280 --> 1:04:45.480 You know. 1:04:45.640 --> 1:04:48.800 It's like we don't need to be accountable in that 1:04:49.200 --> 1:04:51.919 in that way, but we do need to keep our 1:04:52.040 --> 1:04:54.520 intent is up in our eyes open for when our 1:04:54.560 --> 1:04:57.200 spouse is doing better or making changes, and that's where 1:04:57.240 --> 1:05:01.480 the grace comes in. And and then sometimes when he 1:05:01.520 --> 1:05:04.520 doesn't see that I'm changing, then I'll get my megaphone, 1:05:04.640 --> 1:05:07.240 like you don't see that I turned off all the 1:05:07.320 --> 1:05:10.680 lights yesterday, Like you're talking about today, but did you 1:05:10.720 --> 1:05:15.880 see yesterday? Though all the lights were off yesterday. But 1:05:19.520 --> 1:05:22.080 I'm like, no, you're gonna take no, you're gonna acknowledge you. 1:05:22.080 --> 1:05:24.800 And see I turned the alarm on all day y 1:05:25.720 --> 1:05:28.800 e time I left house. And then it's this one 1:05:28.880 --> 1:05:32.160 time I miss today and now you're on me. I'm like, no, 1:05:32.320 --> 1:05:34.760 let's let's roll Tate back because I've been trying. 1:05:38.320 --> 1:05:45.320 Patty Pendergrass, Yeah, like I've been trying. 1:05:45.440 --> 1:05:47.680 Like you're not gonna say that I don't care, because 1:05:47.720 --> 1:05:51.000 that's my thing when people kind of make it, try 1:05:51.040 --> 1:05:53.520 to make it seem like I don't care. About something 1:05:53.520 --> 1:05:55.840 when I know I'm intentionally trying, but I just have 1:05:56.080 --> 1:05:59.160 so many things going on in my head. I'm like, 1:05:59.200 --> 1:06:02.200 I'm not gonna always get it right, and that's the 1:06:02.280 --> 1:06:04.440 grace that I give myself, and I feel like everybody 1:06:04.440 --> 1:06:05.760 else is just gonna have to deal with it. Like 1:06:05.840 --> 1:06:08.640 I'm literally doing the best that I can with all 1:06:08.720 --> 1:06:12.240 of these things that I have going on. Like I'm 1:06:12.240 --> 1:06:12.880 doing my best. 1:06:13.920 --> 1:06:16.800 Yeah, but just don't forget to turn the alarm on. 1:06:22.440 --> 1:06:25.120 The alarm is on, stay right now, I remember. 1:06:27.200 --> 1:06:29.280 Going as we're just concerned about your well being. 1:06:31.760 --> 1:06:32.360 He is. 1:06:32.800 --> 1:06:35.440 That's where a lot of our arguments is either going 1:06:35.520 --> 1:06:40.200 to be cleaning, because he's Jamaican and he's like everything 1:06:40.240 --> 1:06:45.200 needs to smell like fabulous, so like he's very like organized, 1:06:45.240 --> 1:06:49.120 like very clean, and I'm not like the messiest person, 1:06:49.200 --> 1:06:52.600 but I be, you know, I'm not like that. So 1:06:52.680 --> 1:06:56.720 we argue about that, and then we mostly argue about 1:06:56.920 --> 1:06:59.600 things like turn the alarm on, turn the lights on 1:06:59.720 --> 1:07:00.440 and all off. 1:07:00.760 --> 1:07:04.880 Or like me being forgetful. My ex used to get 1:07:04.880 --> 1:07:07.760 really upset with me because I never tightened the lids 1:07:07.800 --> 1:07:10.520 on the season it's real good. So he picked it 1:07:10.600 --> 1:07:11.120 up from the. 1:07:11.000 --> 1:07:18.240 Top and my god, damn it, that's the reason to 1:07:18.280 --> 1:07:21.920 get mad though, Like real, but I just forget and 1:07:22.000 --> 1:07:23.080 I do most of the cookie. 1:07:23.120 --> 1:07:25.960 You never usually use any of the seasons. And in 1:07:26.080 --> 1:07:30.040 my head that's tight, you know, But I guess that's 1:07:30.040 --> 1:07:32.600 to me. I'm like, I know how to maneuver because 1:07:33.160 --> 1:07:35.320 I'm the one in here all the time. So I'm 1:07:35.360 --> 1:07:37.919 not cleaning for you. I'm cleaning for me. The way 1:07:37.960 --> 1:07:41.320 that I organize everything is because I'm gonna do it. 1:07:41.880 --> 1:07:44.640 He be wanting to help, and I'm like, I don't 1:07:44.640 --> 1:07:46.880 want you to help because when he helped and he's upset, 1:07:46.960 --> 1:07:49.640 then he starts slamming, slamming stuff. He's gonna make sure 1:07:49.920 --> 1:07:54.120 that you know that. He's like closing the cabinet pops 1:07:54.120 --> 1:07:58.840 and pants clanking around. I'm like, you can, you can go. 1:07:59.760 --> 1:08:02.720 I would do right, and I'd be like, nigga, if 1:08:02.720 --> 1:08:04.920 you know, I don't chop it up good picking up 1:08:04.920 --> 1:08:05.760 from the bottle. 1:08:06.400 --> 1:08:07.200 That's how I know. 1:08:08.240 --> 1:08:12.760 Like, I'm not check it first because it may not 1:08:12.840 --> 1:08:18.040 be right. Yeah, I shouldn't have to do that. 1:08:18.120 --> 1:08:22.680 I'm like, man, all relationships is about cleaning up and 1:08:22.720 --> 1:08:25.559 fixing up ship behind the next person. That's all it is. Really, 1:08:26.120 --> 1:08:27.920 I never can plan. And when I tell y'all used 1:08:27.960 --> 1:08:31.400 to get pictures of weaves, strands of weave on the 1:08:31.400 --> 1:08:34.400 floor for my ex but right next to my strand 1:08:34.400 --> 1:08:37.160 of weave, it's gonna be some coily here. It could 1:08:37.160 --> 1:08:39.800 be pupi hair or bard here. But your hair is 1:08:39.960 --> 1:08:42.120 right next to my strand of weaves, so you don't 1:08:42.160 --> 1:08:44.799 see that. But when I come in, I just sweep 1:08:44.880 --> 1:08:46.840 up everything. I don't care that your hair is on 1:08:46.840 --> 1:08:49.559 the floor next to mine or just your hair comna 1:08:49.560 --> 1:08:52.800 clean up. That's just petty ship. That's a ship of relationship. 1:08:53.560 --> 1:08:55.520 What you want to eat? 1:08:55.760 --> 1:08:58.960 No, let me say no, my nigga, what used to 1:08:59.000 --> 1:09:00.840 piss me off? And I don't care what nobody said? 1:09:01.200 --> 1:09:03.839 He would like hoop and forget to flush the toilet? 1:09:04.120 --> 1:09:09.640 Oh hell no, there were there tissueing there. Okay. 1:09:09.920 --> 1:09:12.559 I did not want to see your ship, sir flush 1:09:12.640 --> 1:09:13.160 the toilet. 1:09:14.280 --> 1:09:17.439 Oh my god, no I would. I wouldn't be able to. 1:09:18.000 --> 1:09:18.919 Yeah, that's annoying. 1:09:19.560 --> 1:09:21.760 That was no. 1:09:22.439 --> 1:09:24.920 Wont forget that? How do you forget that? 1:09:25.439 --> 1:09:26.800 It is there floating like. 1:09:30.080 --> 1:09:33.560 Good morning to you, hanging. 1:09:33.360 --> 1:09:35.559 Out and we went We wanted to have made it. 1:09:36.160 --> 1:09:50.920 We wanted to make. We did. 1:09:49.520 --> 1:09:50.439 Make shitty eyes. 1:09:53.920 --> 1:09:59.040 No. No, I'm like, no, that's not going to work. 1:09:59.240 --> 1:10:02.439 No Clinton. It's like I have revised my list of 1:10:02.560 --> 1:10:04.800 things I want in a mate, because you have to 1:10:04.840 --> 1:10:06.439 be as clean as me. You have to wash as 1:10:06.479 --> 1:10:08.400 much as I do, and you have to be as 1:10:08.439 --> 1:10:10.000 clean as that. Because I realized I. 1:10:09.960 --> 1:10:13.360 Don't nobody wash as much as you. 1:10:13.240 --> 1:10:16.000 You never if you're looking for a nigga that's gonna 1:10:16.040 --> 1:10:16.840 wash seven times. 1:10:16.920 --> 1:10:19.519 I've had a couple. I've had a couple of them 1:10:19.720 --> 1:10:22.320 twice a day. Okay. I washed when I wake up, 1:10:22.320 --> 1:10:29.960 and I wash when I go to sleep. Yeahs. On 1:10:30.040 --> 1:10:32.880 a situation, if it's summertime, it might be three to. 1:10:32.960 --> 1:10:35.040 Four Ajil, come and stay at my house. 1:10:35.080 --> 1:10:38.320 My water bill go up by sevens. 1:10:39.280 --> 1:10:41.280 Here a couple of days, take a lot of I 1:10:41.280 --> 1:10:43.240 take a lot of showers. So he said that, He 1:10:43.320 --> 1:10:45.639 was like, you like, why do you take like three 1:10:45.720 --> 1:10:47.120 four showers. 1:10:46.600 --> 1:10:47.040 In a day? 1:10:47.120 --> 1:10:50.360 You like it? It's my thinking time. It's meditation for me. 1:10:50.920 --> 1:10:53.400 Like if I go outside and come back in, like 1:10:53.439 --> 1:10:55.559 I like the feeling of getting straight into bed, like 1:10:55.600 --> 1:10:58.519 with fresh skin. So if I just took a bath, 1:10:58.840 --> 1:11:01.400 go outside, do some ship. I gotta take another bathroom 1:11:01.360 --> 1:11:02.280 before I hit my sheets. 1:11:02.360 --> 1:11:04.360 It's just no listen, like. 1:11:05.840 --> 1:11:08.400 A shower and then go to the parking garage and 1:11:08.439 --> 1:11:09.839 come back and need another shower. 1:11:10.040 --> 1:11:11.240 That's ridiculous, bro. 1:11:11.560 --> 1:11:14.200 Because sweat. 1:11:14.960 --> 1:11:19.880 Even if I showered before date night, we come home, 1:11:20.760 --> 1:11:23.120 it could have been like three hours past. I gotta 1:11:23.200 --> 1:11:24.720 take another shower before I get it back because I 1:11:24.760 --> 1:11:27.519 went outside. So y'all, y'all would go on to day, 1:11:27.600 --> 1:11:30.040 y'all would get showered, have a day with your man, 1:11:30.120 --> 1:11:33.240 and like, all right, you don't have to eat. How 1:11:34.000 --> 1:11:34.599 this mea? 1:11:34.880 --> 1:11:35.639 But if y'all have. 1:11:35.760 --> 1:11:39.240 Sex fresh, yes, you're gonna get. 1:11:39.120 --> 1:11:41.440 You're gonna have a shower before you have sex. 1:11:42.800 --> 1:11:43.400 And then after. 1:11:44.360 --> 1:11:47.280 I might have one after. But it just depends on 1:11:47.320 --> 1:11:49.840 the vibe. Because if we coming here and we kissing and. 1:11:49.760 --> 1:11:52.439 We're taking everything off, I ain't trying to stolo wait 1:11:53.520 --> 1:11:57.240 unless I don't unless I don't feel fresh, unless I'm like, 1:11:57.360 --> 1:11:59.400 let me freshen up, because I feel like it's it 1:11:59.439 --> 1:12:00.000 was a little high. 1:12:00.439 --> 1:12:01.719 Other than that, I'm not stopping. 1:12:01.760 --> 1:12:05.640 You know. If it's like that, then you know, you 1:12:05.760 --> 1:12:07.679 just go with the flow. But if we come home 1:12:07.880 --> 1:12:11.879 and like you know he might be downstairs doing something 1:12:12.040 --> 1:12:14.599 or putting the food up or whatever. I'm literally like 1:12:14.960 --> 1:12:19.280 running up the stairs to get undressed because I gotta 1:12:19.360 --> 1:12:22.559 take all this makeup off. And if I'm gonna do that, 1:12:22.600 --> 1:12:25.599 then I might as well just take a shower too hours. 1:12:25.840 --> 1:12:29.680 Okay, see I'm not the only one mental illness, Like 1:12:29.720 --> 1:12:35.559 what you do? 1:12:35.840 --> 1:12:39.240 You gotta be clean, Like I'm very particular about stuff. 1:12:39.280 --> 1:12:41.880 I learned that a lot of grown women do not 1:12:42.280 --> 1:12:47.080 know about, like hygiene and like not using the same soap. 1:12:47.120 --> 1:12:49.439 I know it's off topic, not using the same soaps, 1:12:49.520 --> 1:12:51.400 Like you got your face soap, you got body soap, 1:12:51.439 --> 1:12:54.040 and then you have your you know, your intimate soap, 1:12:54.200 --> 1:12:58.839 like imaginal soap. It's it's and you can't have everything 1:12:58.880 --> 1:13:02.320 mixing together and your peace off, like your pH should be, 1:13:02.479 --> 1:13:04.880 Like you should not smell like anything. 1:13:06.320 --> 1:13:10.000 Water y'all like war you should be. 1:13:09.960 --> 1:13:12.840 And if you're not, that's okay, But you need to 1:13:12.920 --> 1:13:17.880 understand that that may not be like healthy. I think 1:13:17.920 --> 1:13:21.960 some people might have, you know, some type of center whatever. 1:13:22.080 --> 1:13:29.519 But anyway, I digress a go all day it'll turn 1:13:29.600 --> 1:13:35.519 into a whole woman's health episode. Do you have any 1:13:35.600 --> 1:13:38.800 advice for women who are looking for love are there 1:13:38.880 --> 1:13:41.000 in a relationship that might be stagnant. 1:13:41.600 --> 1:13:43.960 Their marriage is like not what it needs to be 1:13:44.040 --> 1:13:45.439 right now. Do you have any advice? 1:13:47.280 --> 1:13:52.320 So, women that are looking for love, I would say 1:13:53.439 --> 1:13:56.680 that you need to be very I think that you 1:13:56.720 --> 1:13:59.599 should have like a list of like things that you're 1:13:59.600 --> 1:14:02.360 looking for. You know, women have their list or whatever. 1:14:03.360 --> 1:14:07.040 I think that's good, but you gotta have what you 1:14:07.120 --> 1:14:11.760 should be looking for in a man. One is how 1:14:11.800 --> 1:14:15.160 he treats his mother and how he treats the women 1:14:15.200 --> 1:14:17.920 in his life, because that is how he's going to 1:14:17.960 --> 1:14:21.400 treat you. No if inns or buts about it. It 1:14:21.439 --> 1:14:23.600 could be good for the first couple of years, but 1:14:23.720 --> 1:14:30.200 it's going to show. So that's one. Two. I think 1:14:30.280 --> 1:14:34.200 that a man doesn't need to be making six figures 1:14:34.240 --> 1:14:36.080 and all that kind of stuff, but you need to 1:14:36.120 --> 1:14:40.400 be paying attention to character and discipline as it pertains 1:14:40.400 --> 1:14:43.200 the finances and how he stewards over what he has 1:14:43.560 --> 1:14:47.600 right now, because in today's society is very easy to 1:14:47.720 --> 1:14:52.519 make money. Like you can make money, you can start something, 1:14:52.640 --> 1:14:54.840 and you know you can do that, you can fix that. 1:14:55.280 --> 1:14:59.280 But a man that does not steward over his money 1:15:00.000 --> 1:15:02.880 directly is a very big red flag. 1:15:02.960 --> 1:15:03.200 Girl. 1:15:03.240 --> 1:15:03.800 Let me tell you. 1:15:03.880 --> 1:15:05.880 I was talking to this guy and I was like, 1:15:06.040 --> 1:15:07.400 you know what, I kind of like him. 1:15:07.439 --> 1:15:07.960 He's cool. 1:15:08.520 --> 1:15:12.840 He told me he lost fifty thousand dollars gambling in 1:15:12.880 --> 1:15:18.040 this past football season, and I was like, oh, absolutely 1:15:18.200 --> 1:15:20.280 a wasteful. 1:15:21.040 --> 1:15:24.240 Absolutely not No, those are those are signs, and that 1:15:24.360 --> 1:15:26.240 I guess that would lead me to my third I 1:15:26.280 --> 1:15:29.479 don't really have it just outlined, but the third thing 1:15:30.200 --> 1:15:34.640 is don't ignore those flags. And you would think that 1:15:34.640 --> 1:15:39.000 that's self explanatory, but it is not, because when at 1:15:39.040 --> 1:15:41.760 the demise of a relationship, when you look back, you 1:15:41.760 --> 1:15:46.320 could literally walk it out like all the signs that 1:15:46.400 --> 1:15:53.880 were there, like stop trying to romanticize, like toxicity and 1:15:54.040 --> 1:15:59.920 struggle and laziness and complacency, like stop trying to romanticize it. 1:16:00.120 --> 1:16:04.080 Like when I said feelings versus facts, you have to 1:16:04.200 --> 1:16:11.360 be factual. And what I did in our relationship early on, 1:16:12.120 --> 1:16:15.200 when my you know, my triggers and all of that, 1:16:15.400 --> 1:16:17.719 I feel like they were trying to get the best 1:16:17.720 --> 1:16:20.880 of me. So what I started to do journaling again. 1:16:21.720 --> 1:16:25.679 If something upset me or something felt like a red flag, 1:16:26.320 --> 1:16:28.800 I would write it down it's time stamp because I 1:16:28.840 --> 1:16:33.400 have my physical journals and then I have a journal 1:16:33.439 --> 1:16:37.599 app and it time stamps everything. So I'm like, I'm 1:16:37.600 --> 1:16:41.760 writing this down and I'm going to revisit this, and 1:16:41.800 --> 1:16:44.360 if this is still going on, I know that this 1:16:44.520 --> 1:16:47.639 is a pattern, not just something that happened, because things happen, 1:16:48.240 --> 1:16:53.320 you know, people make mistakes, slip ups happen, or maybe 1:16:53.320 --> 1:16:57.720 it's not what you thought it was or whatever. I document, 1:16:58.960 --> 1:17:04.280 I document pass and I document like different things, like 1:17:04.400 --> 1:17:10.520 if I feel like, okay, I'm be honest. Because infidelity 1:17:10.600 --> 1:17:15.120 was an issue in past relationships, I saw something that 1:17:15.120 --> 1:17:18.679 I was like, hmm, Now instead of being somebody that's 1:17:18.720 --> 1:17:22.320 like let me say, y'all find mind you, he gave 1:17:22.320 --> 1:17:26.519 me a passwords to his phone like in two weeks. 1:17:26.760 --> 1:17:29.120 Like we have each other's past codes and all that 1:17:29.200 --> 1:17:32.320 kind of stuff, so it's very open, but we still 1:17:32.360 --> 1:17:34.840 do respect each other that we're not going through each 1:17:34.880 --> 1:17:39.439 other's phones. Like that's still to me, very disrespectful and 1:17:39.920 --> 1:17:43.280 it's unnecessary. But it was something I had like an 1:17:43.280 --> 1:17:49.040 eyebrow raise about it. It's actually kind of funny because 1:17:49.120 --> 1:17:53.599 the client's name was Ash, and Ash was like, I 1:17:53.680 --> 1:17:55.799 need you I. 1:17:55.640 --> 1:17:59.960 Was like, why Ash needs you? What she needs? 1:18:00.120 --> 1:18:01.120 So mm hmm. 1:18:01.560 --> 1:18:05.280 So I wrote it down, trying to pay attention as 1:18:05.280 --> 1:18:08.120 the days go on. There's probably some months that went on. 1:18:08.479 --> 1:18:11.880 Didn't hear nothing else about Ash. Ash is some big 1:18:11.920 --> 1:18:15.360 burley as dude that is his client, and said he 1:18:15.400 --> 1:18:18.439 needed him to give him a haircut because it came 1:18:18.520 --> 1:18:20.640 up in conversation because I brought I just want a 1:18:20.640 --> 1:18:22.679 had him brought it up. I'm like, and then because 1:18:22.720 --> 1:18:26.320 I talked very soft and sweet, I saw you know, 1:18:26.439 --> 1:18:29.680 it just made me feel uncomfortable in the knows like 1:18:29.960 --> 1:18:32.000 Ash and she was saying that that. 1:18:36.040 --> 1:18:36.800 Yeah, she. 1:18:39.160 --> 1:18:45.360 Like, she's trying to see if you're gonna confirm. But 1:18:45.439 --> 1:18:48.760 he told me what that was. And and in that 1:18:48.920 --> 1:18:51.240 instance it did kind of turn him off because he's like, 1:18:51.280 --> 1:18:54.000 you could have just asked me. But you know, sometimes 1:18:54.000 --> 1:18:56.880 it's not it's not comfortable to ask because you don't 1:18:56.920 --> 1:18:58.920 want to you don't want to come off and secure, 1:18:58.960 --> 1:19:00.800 you don't want to come off like this. You don't 1:19:00.800 --> 1:19:03.760 want to be wrong, like you don't want to be 1:19:03.800 --> 1:19:12.280 wrong Larry Well hair right, And she yeah, So that 1:19:12.520 --> 1:19:14.400 was the instance where I'm like, Okay, you got to 1:19:14.520 --> 1:19:18.479 relax but instead of just jumping to conclusions and letting 1:19:18.520 --> 1:19:23.080 your triggers take control, document things and match it up, 1:19:23.120 --> 1:19:26.160 because at the end of the day, these are facts 1:19:26.240 --> 1:19:28.559 that we're laying out. We're not going off of feelings, 1:19:28.600 --> 1:19:31.160 because feelings will have you staying in situations that you 1:19:31.200 --> 1:19:33.840 should not be staying in just because you're afraid of 1:19:33.880 --> 1:19:41.519 being alone. And I think, uh, I think that's enough 1:19:41.560 --> 1:19:45.000 for the girls. That's fine in love for the for 1:19:45.120 --> 1:19:49.439 the women or the girls who are in relationships, and 1:19:49.479 --> 1:19:53.840 it might be a little stagnant if you have not 1:19:54.040 --> 1:19:59.280 already see where you where you may be misstepping in 1:19:59.320 --> 1:20:01.880 the relationship because we have a PhD and what our 1:20:01.920 --> 1:20:07.360 partner is doing wrong, but we seldom really take a 1:20:07.400 --> 1:20:11.599 step back and see where we contributed to that, because 1:20:11.640 --> 1:20:15.760 if we're honest, the effort that we think we're putting in, 1:20:15.880 --> 1:20:18.439 we're really not putting in. And a lot of times 1:20:18.479 --> 1:20:22.360 we're doing what we would want instead of actually doing 1:20:22.400 --> 1:20:26.479 what our partner is asking us to do. Like I 1:20:26.520 --> 1:20:29.920 was always trying to do things for him, and like 1:20:30.040 --> 1:20:34.840 I like to give, I like to buy gifts, I 1:20:35.000 --> 1:20:37.439 like this, to like do things like that, even though 1:20:37.479 --> 1:20:39.400 I don't really care about receiving gifts. I like to 1:20:39.400 --> 1:20:42.400 give gifts, but he's like, I don't need all of that, 1:20:42.920 --> 1:20:45.720 Like he don't even even want Christmas gifts, Like he 1:20:45.760 --> 1:20:49.800 don't really care about stuff. He just wants me to 1:20:49.880 --> 1:20:53.280 do well, to take care of myself. But he would 1:20:53.320 --> 1:20:56.080 say those things, and I think women were not listening 1:20:56.120 --> 1:20:58.240 to men, Like they tell you what they want, they're 1:20:58.360 --> 1:21:02.479 very clear about it, and we're like, no, that can't 1:21:02.479 --> 1:21:04.600 be all you want. You just want a meal and 1:21:05.880 --> 1:21:10.280 sex and respect. No, no, you gotta want a whole 1:21:10.280 --> 1:21:11.720 lot more, so I'm gonna give it to you. Like 1:21:11.760 --> 1:21:13.680 we've been trying to tell men what they need and 1:21:13.720 --> 1:21:15.880 what they want, and they have been very clear about 1:21:15.920 --> 1:21:17.479 what it is that they want. So you're doing all 1:21:17.520 --> 1:21:23.320 these other things, but you're not showing respect like you're not. 1:21:24.760 --> 1:21:27.360 If it's somebody that needs a hot meal, Like, if 1:21:27.400 --> 1:21:31.920 that's all he's asking for, then find a way to 1:21:32.040 --> 1:21:32.479 do that. 1:21:33.439 --> 1:21:36.360 And saying I can't cook is not an option, bitch. 1:21:36.400 --> 1:21:39.040 They cook it all up and down Instagram figure it out? 1:21:39.880 --> 1:21:42.920 What's that figured out? Prima Donna? I better get her 1:21:42.960 --> 1:21:44.960 cookbook right. 1:21:45.360 --> 1:21:47.320 Yeah, but we don't want to give him high cholesterol. 1:21:47.439 --> 1:21:50.639 So we right, okay, So. 1:21:51.640 --> 1:21:52.519 You know he. 1:21:54.000 --> 1:21:59.040 Like, now I'm doing like the hello fresh, Hello fresh, 1:21:59.120 --> 1:22:04.000 give these girls a deal real quick, Hello fresh. I'm 1:22:04.040 --> 1:22:10.080 doing factor meals like because now yeah, I like factor 1:22:10.200 --> 1:22:13.400 especially like with my workouts and stuff. So you don't 1:22:13.400 --> 1:22:14.840 have to know. If you don't know how to cook, 1:22:15.080 --> 1:22:17.599 don't don't do that. But there's a lot of ways 1:22:17.640 --> 1:22:20.519 that we waste a lot of money and you could 1:22:20.520 --> 1:22:23.639 be allocating that to something else to make it work. 1:22:23.720 --> 1:22:28.320 Everything can be workable. Saying that you can't do it 1:22:28.360 --> 1:22:31.120 is not an excuse, especially for your spouse. You should 1:22:31.120 --> 1:22:34.400 always be in service of your spouse, and there's gonna 1:22:34.400 --> 1:22:37.200 be seasons where you are putting in more work than 1:22:37.240 --> 1:22:41.639 they are putting in. But marriage, like as I said, 1:22:41.680 --> 1:22:47.080 like God's design for marriage is rich or poor, sickness 1:22:47.120 --> 1:22:50.200 and in health. This does not This isn't talking about abuse, 1:22:51.000 --> 1:22:55.160 mental abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse. But you gotta be 1:22:55.280 --> 1:22:58.200 in it for the long haul, and you have to 1:22:58.880 --> 1:23:03.840 like taking accountability for what you did is what I 1:23:03.880 --> 1:23:08.519 feel is really adding to and making this relationship work. 1:23:09.560 --> 1:23:12.840 But it's hard, you know, because you want to be right. 1:23:13.840 --> 1:23:17.599 We manifested hair, we talked back. It's for richer or richer, 1:23:18.280 --> 1:23:19.960 it's for healthy or for healthy. 1:23:20.120 --> 1:23:24.599 Okay, yeah we could, we could, we could want that. 1:23:25.479 --> 1:23:32.200 But if we are doing things that are not making 1:23:32.200 --> 1:23:36.000 our finances grow, if we are getting hookah and lamb 1:23:36.120 --> 1:23:42.679 chops every day, then somebody's gonna get diabetes, somebody's gonna 1:23:42.680 --> 1:23:50.640 get high cholesterol, somebody, right exactly, So we can't. We 1:23:50.760 --> 1:23:53.720 have to be very realistic about those things. Like if 1:23:53.760 --> 1:23:56.040 we want richer for written, you know, for richer or 1:23:56.120 --> 1:24:02.439 for richer or you know, for healthier whatever whatever, now 1:24:02.560 --> 1:24:07.200 sickness and no sickness, then we have to make sure 1:24:07.200 --> 1:24:14.920 that we're doing those things. Like everything takes work. Manifesting 1:24:15.080 --> 1:24:20.439 is great. I manifested my husband like I wrote it out. 1:24:20.760 --> 1:24:23.200 And what's crazy is like I wrote it. I wrote 1:24:23.240 --> 1:24:26.519 out what I wanted for my marriage, but I didn't 1:24:26.560 --> 1:24:30.000 put a name on it. And I wrote it during 1:24:30.040 --> 1:24:33.719 that first marriage, and I ended up getting the marriage 1:24:33.720 --> 1:24:36.040 that I wanted and it ended up being a whole new, 1:24:36.120 --> 1:24:41.679 different relationship. So now I'm very specific, like I rting 1:24:41.720 --> 1:24:44.920 his whole name, first, middle, last name. This is what 1:24:45.000 --> 1:24:48.160 I want for my marriage with with him, like this, 1:24:49.000 --> 1:24:55.479 God is real funny like that. So yeah, that's I think. 1:24:57.320 --> 1:25:01.400 There was great advice. Ladies take heed some account. 1:25:04.040 --> 1:25:05.840 It is hard. 1:25:05.840 --> 1:25:08.519 I don't like pushing that narrative that women don't have 1:25:08.600 --> 1:25:10.599 don't take accountability. I don't think it's true. 1:25:11.000 --> 1:25:14.479 They don't think they don't. It's all just women, That's 1:25:14.479 --> 1:25:15.080 what I'm saying. 1:25:15.160 --> 1:25:17.920 So when we when we help push that narrative that 1:25:18.000 --> 1:25:20.320 women don't take accountability, it kind of gives like the 1:25:20.400 --> 1:25:22.880 men like a one up. But I have been in 1:25:22.960 --> 1:25:26.479 really yes it does. I have better relationships with men 1:25:26.560 --> 1:25:30.160 who don't take accountability also, so it's not something I 1:25:30.200 --> 1:25:33.440 just want to make sure we know that that's exclusive 1:25:33.520 --> 1:25:34.479 to women. That's all. 1:25:35.160 --> 1:25:38.479 But definitely on show, single out men all the time. 1:25:38.680 --> 1:25:39.200 Men do this. 1:25:39.400 --> 1:25:41.840 Men say that men do this and women be doing 1:25:41.840 --> 1:25:45.200 the same ship sometimes and we never say, Okay, this 1:25:45.360 --> 1:25:46.360 is for everybody. 1:25:46.520 --> 1:25:50.679 So we can down the middle. A lot of times 1:25:50.680 --> 1:25:55.000 when I talk about me, get up, but I'm oftentimes 1:25:55.000 --> 1:25:57.360 talking about men I've actually dealt with. I'm not just 1:25:57.400 --> 1:25:58.839 talking about men in general. 1:25:59.400 --> 1:26:01.320 A lot of idea what you. 1:26:01.320 --> 1:26:06.560 Just say men, I think men definitely need to be accountable. 1:26:06.600 --> 1:26:08.760 But the reason why I press that women need to 1:26:08.920 --> 1:26:12.720 because I think for the longest we have pressed, especially 1:26:12.800 --> 1:26:15.880 with black men, like y'all need to be accountable, y'all 1:26:15.920 --> 1:26:18.880 need to do this, Like everybody knows men and women 1:26:18.960 --> 1:26:23.000 in the entire world knows what work the black man 1:26:23.040 --> 1:26:28.680 needs to do, Like we're so knowledgeable on that. But 1:26:28.800 --> 1:26:32.519 I think women take that as like, if he's not 1:26:32.640 --> 1:26:35.439 doing this and he's not doing that, the whole while 1:26:36.080 --> 1:26:42.080 you are messy, you are dirty literally, figuratively whatever. Like 1:26:42.200 --> 1:26:46.320 you you're not stewarding over your finances, you're eating like shit, 1:26:46.800 --> 1:26:52.080 You're not like being you're not working to a schedule, 1:26:53.000 --> 1:26:57.560 like your habits are trash. Like, let's be honest and 1:26:57.680 --> 1:27:01.160 let's be realistic, because because I think women feel like 1:27:01.240 --> 1:27:04.840 we don't have to do certain things, and I do 1:27:04.920 --> 1:27:10.000 think that you should try to become the partner that 1:27:10.360 --> 1:27:13.840 you desire, but also knowing that you don't have to 1:27:13.880 --> 1:27:17.760 be perfect before you meet that person. So it's a 1:27:17.800 --> 1:27:21.800 delicate balance of giving yourself grace but also knowing that 1:27:22.000 --> 1:27:24.880 you have goals for yourself regardless of who comes into 1:27:24.880 --> 1:27:26.799 your life. And when you do come into your life, 1:27:26.960 --> 1:27:30.840 your work is not done. It is definitely not it's 1:27:30.960 --> 1:27:34.160 far from done. Now you really have somebody that you 1:27:34.240 --> 1:27:38.880 need to show up for And I think holding yourself 1:27:38.920 --> 1:27:43.839 accountable is not just for a relationship. It's for yourself, period, 1:27:44.000 --> 1:27:46.679 and all the things that you say that you want 1:27:46.800 --> 1:27:50.240 for yourself, Like all my goals now it's really not 1:27:50.360 --> 1:27:53.320 to make my husband happy, is to make me happy, 1:27:53.640 --> 1:27:56.840 because I have a man that wants me to be happy. 1:27:56.880 --> 1:28:00.240 So if that's what he wants, then that's what to 1:28:00.280 --> 1:28:02.320 do and we both benefit from it. 1:28:03.800 --> 1:28:10.519 You mean, yeah, Sonny, Yeah, all right, man, Jamila's plug 1:28:10.600 --> 1:28:13.360 all your things. We already told them how wonderful you are. 1:28:13.400 --> 1:28:16.040 But make sure you plug all your social media, all 1:28:16.080 --> 1:28:19.040 your businesses, all the fantastic things you got going on. 1:28:19.160 --> 1:28:20.439 Let our audience know. 1:28:21.680 --> 1:28:25.040 Thank you. So I'm really excited. First and foremost, we're 1:28:25.080 --> 1:28:29.400 having the Case Conference. It's a conference for new and 1:28:29.479 --> 1:28:35.679 inspire I'm sorry, new and aspiring interior designers, especially of color, 1:28:36.240 --> 1:28:41.519 to learn the business of design. Because design is eighty 1:28:41.560 --> 1:28:44.519 percent business twenty percent creative. And so you have that 1:28:44.560 --> 1:28:47.439 twenty percent and you're wondering why you can't get it 1:28:47.479 --> 1:28:49.680 off the ground or business is not going well, it's 1:28:49.760 --> 1:28:53.360 because of the business aspect of it. So really honing 1:28:53.400 --> 1:28:56.759 in and teaching interior designers of color, how to operate 1:28:56.760 --> 1:29:00.720 in the business and navigate the industry. It's are on 1:29:00.840 --> 1:29:05.200 sale now thecaseconference dot com to learn more. We have 1:29:05.400 --> 1:29:10.080 a very special keynote guest that we haven't announced just yet, 1:29:11.240 --> 1:29:14.840 but it's going to be so worth it. And then 1:29:14.880 --> 1:29:18.519 you can follow me at Jamila Divine and that's where 1:29:18.640 --> 1:29:21.640 you can just see what's going on with me, my man, 1:29:21.160 --> 1:29:22.599 and my business. 1:29:22.760 --> 1:29:24.920 So that's good y'all. 1:29:24.920 --> 1:29:28.040 Remember speak now and never hold your peace.