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Speaker 1: Am I the a hole for ending my sister's pregnancy

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Speaker 1: and possibly her marriage?

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Speaker 2: Uh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yes, I don't know what one one might think,

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Speaker 1: but you know, don't don't judge a title by its cover.

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Speaker 2: We gotta we gotta dig. We got a sleuth, we

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Speaker 2: got a slogan. We got a sleuth more than.

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Speaker 1: Adam Lebean trying to find a way to recover his career.

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Speaker 1: Go I, male thirty two, have two older brothers, male

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Speaker 1: thirty eight and male forty, and his sister, female thirty four. No,

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Speaker 1: the age differences, so him and his sister are younger.

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Speaker 1: The two brothers are, you know, quite a few years old.

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Speaker 2: Yeah cool.

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Speaker 1: Our family was relatively modest when my brothers grew up,

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Speaker 1: so they were cared for a lot by my parents' families,

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Speaker 1: who were very conservative. By the time that me and

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Speaker 1: my sister were born, our dad's career was going great

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Speaker 1: and we were well off. Me and my sister have

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Speaker 1: master's degrees, while our brothers didn't go to college despite

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Speaker 1: the funds and chances, which is like subtle drag.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, subtle drag, Like a.

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Speaker 1: Not so subtle subtle drag there on the brothers, little

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Speaker 1: elitist brothers are a bunch of birds, bunch of bozos.

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Speaker 1: My mom had been trying to set up my sister

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Speaker 1: with a churchgoers kid, you know, like to get married

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Speaker 1: and whatnot. This did not progress until around the time

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Speaker 1: that my dad died and my sister came back and

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Speaker 1: helped with the funeral. My brother's families are both in

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Speaker 1: our hometown as well. I worked in Tech and China

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Speaker 1: at that time, and I now live in SF. And

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Speaker 1: since the funeral, I've been mostly low contact with everyone

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Speaker 1: in my family except my sister. Honestly, I was very

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Speaker 1: close with my dad and there was obvious favoritism towards me,

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Speaker 1: which the others did not like, which I feel like

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Speaker 1: Opie is just talking themselves up right. I'm brothers were

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Speaker 1: more educated, the dad liked desert, bore like making money

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Speaker 1: in China and SF. That's such is a total bru moment.

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Speaker 1: But you know what's better than saying bruh, buy and

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Speaker 1: bro buy our merch that's right. So at this point,

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Speaker 1: my mom and oldest brother now technically live in the

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Speaker 1: family house. My sister somehow ended up leave her career

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Speaker 1: and moving back to the hometown. She then married the

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Speaker 1: man that my mom set her up with in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: the churchgoer's kid.

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Speaker 2: I honestly was in shock at the wedding.

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Speaker 1: I really didn't ever see my sister living on a

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Speaker 1: farm and becoming a stay at home mom. I knew

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Speaker 1: for a fact my mom and brothers were a huge

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Speaker 1: part of this because there was a lot of she's

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Speaker 1: back home posts on their social media, and later I

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Speaker 1: also found out that my sister had pretty much given

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Speaker 1: all of her savings to the husband. Really, so here's this, like,

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Speaker 1: you know, master's degree, you know, a woman woman, you know,

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Speaker 1: crushing it, and then she becomes a farmer's wife and

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Speaker 1: gives a husband all of her money. Girl, keep your money,

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Speaker 1: keep keep your money. Get that preyed up now. Later

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Speaker 1: in twenty twenty, my sister straight out of the blue

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Speaker 1: called me about just chatting, and of course I loved this.

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Speaker 1: Early in twenty twenty one, my mom told me that

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Speaker 1: my sister was pregnant. I immediately asked my sister about

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Speaker 1: this and she pretty much broke down. In short, the

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Speaker 1: husband has been very abusive, she's broke, and my family

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Speaker 1: and her in laws haven't helped.

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Speaker 2: Wow.

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Speaker 1: Can you imagine like terrible situation? And her family pressured

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Speaker 1: her into it, and now they're not helping her.

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Speaker 2: She's they pressured her into the marriage.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, like who's who's your kid? The farmer or your

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Speaker 1: freaking kid?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Sheeess. My oldest brother yelled at her about how.

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Speaker 1: His wife went through the same thing, and my sister

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Speaker 1: should stop thinking she's special toxic. Wait, his wife went

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Speaker 1: to the same thing as as big Like, yeah, like

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Speaker 1: being abused? Did you just admit to abusing your wife?

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Speaker 1: To do seriously go back to school get an education

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Speaker 1: and not being the first time she called me he

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Speaker 1: had kicked her out of the home for complaining about

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Speaker 1: their finances and that this was fairly common. This is

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Speaker 1: where I might be the a hole. I basically yelled

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Speaker 1: at her too. I told her that she had a

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Speaker 1: career which she can go back to, and I can

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Speaker 1: help her move back to NYC where.

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Speaker 2: She worked and studied before. To the brother.

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Speaker 1: But the thing is, he's like yelling at her. He's like,

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Speaker 1: you have a career, Like why don't you go back

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Speaker 1: to New York?

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Speaker 2: What are you doing? Like why are you staying here?

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Speaker 1: I guess it could have been a handle better, but

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Speaker 1: the sentiment is nice, like I'm going to help you

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Speaker 1: build your life back to here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, the sentiment was nice, and he finished off by

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Speaker 1: saying that the pregnancy wasn't the end of it and

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Speaker 1: that there are other options. The next day, she asked

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Speaker 1: me for five thousand dollars, which I sent to her

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Speaker 1: without asking anything. I didn't hear much after that and

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Speaker 1: didn't intrude because it was just a total mind f

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Speaker 1: to me. A month later, my sister told me that

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Speaker 1: she had gotten a new job in NYC and filed

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Speaker 1: for divorce.

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Speaker 2: Wow, okay, God, so we go.

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Speaker 1: You know, she she's moving back in a good direction,

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Speaker 1: and also the pregnancy is no longer on the table.

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Speaker 2: Now.

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Speaker 1: My family has been blowing up on social media, calling

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Speaker 1: me in all sorts of bs. I've in general clapped

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Speaker 1: back at them, and it looks like the home might

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Speaker 1: be on the market soon. My sister needed to switch

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Speaker 1: apartments and got a restraining order against her ex as well.

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Speaker 1: Oh things are not so great right.

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Speaker 2: Now, zam, but I'm happy that my sister is better.

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Speaker 2: So the question is am I the a hole?

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Speaker 1: I mean, you could have maybe been a little bit nicer,

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Speaker 1: but I'd say overall, you're trying to help your sisters.

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Speaker 2: So I'd say not the a hole, and I would

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Speaker 2: actually disagree a little bit.

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Speaker 1: I think that the fact, like, dude, she's she's been

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Speaker 1: beaten by this guy, beat her, stole her money. You know,

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Speaker 1: she has a baby with the guy, which she doesn't want,

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Speaker 1: you know, anything to do with, and now another person

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Speaker 1: is yelling at her, Like I could just see even

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Speaker 1: though it's like the right message, like yeah, like the

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Speaker 1: tough love is maybe not what this person needs right now.

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Speaker 1: Honesty without empathy is cruelty, Yeah, and I feel like

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Speaker 1: the brother.

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Speaker 2: Might be being a little cruel.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but at least like the advice he gave her

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Speaker 1: is what she followed, which seems to like she'll get

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Speaker 1: her own money back, yeah, you know, hopefully rebuild her life.

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Speaker 2: She's