Speaker 1: Progress. Hello, my whip smarties. This week, I am so
Speaker 1: so excited because we're doing a bit of a crossover
Speaker 1: between drama Queens and work in Progress. My lovely co
Speaker 1: star friend and absolute of our galpal world from Wintree Hill,
Speaker 1: Tory DeVito, is here today. You all know her from
Speaker 1: our show as playing the wild and crazy Nanny Carey,
Speaker 1: which she did so beautifully. You might also know her
Speaker 1: from Pretty Little Liars, The Vampire Diaries, or Chicago med.
Speaker 1: Tory is such an amazing person. She is an outspoken
Speaker 1: advocate for animals. She incorporates conscious decisions into every aspect
Speaker 1: of her life. She works on awareness and prevention against
Speaker 1: sexual assault and violence, serving on the board of directors
Speaker 1: for Safe Bay, and she is just all around one
Speaker 1: of the most inspiring people that I know. I'm really
Speaker 1: excited to talk to her today about her personal journey,
Speaker 1: her career, her advocacy, her engagement and more. I do
Speaker 1: just want to go ahead and give a little disclaimer
Speaker 1: here that there are parts of our conversation that touch
Speaker 1: on sexual assault and sexual violence today, So I want
Speaker 1: you to have a trigger warning and feel, you know,
Speaker 1: okay to listen to this conversation and if you don't,
Speaker 1: that's okay too.
Speaker 2: We love you.
Speaker 1: Let's dive in with Tori. Hey, yeah, Ni, how are you?
Speaker 3: I'm good? How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm good? I was so excited that we get to
Speaker 1: do this.
Speaker 3: I know me too.
Speaker 1: Are you in Michigan?
Speaker 3: I am? I am.
Speaker 2: I'm at my mom's house because it's too rainy for
Speaker 2: good wife.
Speaker 3: I at the farm.
Speaker 1: So oh yeah, you sweet soul. Well we'll have to
Speaker 1: say thank you to your mom.
Speaker 3: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: I Actually I love that you're talking about being at
Speaker 1: your mom's because part of what I love to do
Speaker 1: with people on the show is like take a big
Speaker 1: rewind because everybody knows you as you are as this
Speaker 1: adult woman, this you know, successful actor, they know you
Speaker 1: from TV. But I always like to rewind with people
Speaker 1: and see if from this vantage point, now, if you
Speaker 1: look at your history and like, if you were to
Speaker 1: observe yourself at eight or nine years old, would you
Speaker 1: recognize Tori as a child, Like, do you see a
Speaker 1: through line in your personality or performing or were you
Speaker 1: a totally different kid I have.
Speaker 2: It's funny because I've questioned that before, and luckily for me,
Speaker 2: I've been journaling my whole life. I recently found journals
Speaker 2: from when I was like six and seven, and I'm
Speaker 2: the same. It also was a little disconcerting. I was like,
Speaker 2: how am I still questioning all the things that I'm
Speaker 2: questioning now?
Speaker 3: Then? Like, why have I not?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: I feel like am I lacking my evolution a little bit?
Speaker 3: Because what? So?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Obviously, jan, but I loved you know, I loved
Speaker 2: musical theater. Then I love big voices. Then I still
Speaker 2: love big voices. I'm very dramatic in that way, always
Speaker 2: have been. So yeah, she hasn't changed that much.
Speaker 1: Oh, I love that.
Speaker 3: I guess.
Speaker 1: I think it's sort of cool if you consider that
Speaker 1: as an adult you're asking questions that are similar to
Speaker 1: the ones you were asking as a kid. Maybe that
Speaker 1: just means you were a really wise kid, you know, Yeah.
Speaker 3: I mean something there for sure. Yeah, I mean yeah,
Speaker 3: it's interesting. It's like I was questioning life.
Speaker 2: I was really into spirituality, but I didn't understand it.
Speaker 3: So to me, it like came in different.
Speaker 2: Waves of Ouiji board and then angels and Greek mythology,
Speaker 2: and I didn't understand what anything was. But I was
Speaker 2: asking very similar questions. It's so weird.
Speaker 1: Are you asking questions about spirituality now.
Speaker 3: I mean all the time.
Speaker 2: Every day, I feel like to once because I feel
Speaker 2: like I love to dabble in everything, So I'm always
Speaker 2: I love reading different books about different things, and you know,
Speaker 2: different forms of expression of spirituality and different healing.
Speaker 3: Methods and all that stuff.
Speaker 2: And I'm constantly you know, I just I really believe
Speaker 2: that anything is possible and nothing's possible, so might as
Speaker 2: well have fun. Like that's like what I always go
Speaker 2: back to. But yeah, I never set on just one
Speaker 2: thing when it comes to my spiritual journey.
Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean. It's it's colorful, it's
Speaker 3: a rainbow, it's constantly evolving.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel that way too, And I think for
Speaker 1: me again, it's like, maybe it's everything, maybe it's nothing.
Speaker 1: I can ask the question of myself and think, well,
Speaker 1: maybe it's because I grew up in such a mixed
Speaker 1: bag family, and so I wanted to understand what everyone
Speaker 1: in my family believed, which was all different, and then
Speaker 1: I wanted to understand what other families believed. And for me,
Speaker 1: it's like pulling on the thread in a way makes
Speaker 1: me realize everyone essentially believes the same thing, even though
Speaker 1: there are so many different versions of that thing to
Speaker 1: believe in, and I sort of love that. I love
Speaker 1: that there's so many options, and in a way, I
Speaker 1: think it helps me feel like I don't need to win,
Speaker 1: and I don't need to know who's right. But I
Speaker 1: do think it's kind of special that humans are, that
Speaker 1: we're looking for something a little bit bigger, that we're
Speaker 1: looking for some sort of a purpose. And I just
Speaker 1: always come back to like maybe we're all fascinated about
Speaker 1: spirituality or religion, because really what we're fascinated about is
Speaker 1: each other, and like that's where we make our communities.
Speaker 3: Totally, I do, I totally agree with that. I do
Speaker 3: feel like everyone's.
Speaker 2: Constantly looking for that something bigger or looking for a
Speaker 2: way to be tethered, whether they know it or not.
Speaker 3: Right, it's like, you know, I do believe.
Speaker 2: That we are all souls and we do connect through
Speaker 2: that soul connection, and so you know, I did. I
Speaker 2: have heard you know, and I love this book of
Speaker 2: Course and Miracles, and they talk about how being in
Speaker 2: individual bodies is a very human experience and something that
Speaker 2: our souls are not really meant to do. So we
Speaker 2: are always looking for that connection because being so individual
Speaker 2: is like an alien experience.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I always found that pretty casculating.
Speaker 1: It's actually kind of cool too, because it makes me
Speaker 1: think of something else about your childhood, because I know
Speaker 1: when you were growing up your dad was a drummer
Speaker 1: for Billy Joel. Yeah, And when I think about artists
Speaker 1: of that sort of size and scope, and like, what
Speaker 1: it's like to be in an arena tour, right, Like
Speaker 1: it is a spiritual experience when you get that many
Speaker 1: people in a room and everyone is like singing to
Speaker 1: the same songs and dancing to the same music. I
Speaker 1: remember hearing Regina Specter a couple of years ago talking
Speaker 1: about what it was like to play big festivals, and
Speaker 1: she said, you know, when you play a festival, it's
Speaker 1: the only time you get one hundred thousand people together
Speaker 1: for love instead of for war.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, I just give
Speaker 3: me a chill. Right, I've never.
Speaker 1: Thought about it that way, was it. I almost wonder
Speaker 1: if growing up like on tour and around music of
Speaker 1: that level, Like, I wonder if that made you really
Speaker 1: spiritually curious too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I never thought of it that way,
Speaker 3: but it's so true.
Speaker 2: It's the one time, you get everybody who has totally
Speaker 2: different opinions there for the same reason.
Speaker 3: That's really cool.
Speaker 2: Now, I don't know, I mean I do think that,
Speaker 2: you know, I grew up going to church with my mother.
Speaker 2: I grew up in the rock and roll industry with
Speaker 2: my mother and my friend. So it was like a
Speaker 2: mixed bag of so much stuff, so many opinions, so
Speaker 2: many different people. And so I think from a very
Speaker 2: young age I did realize like, oh, we're all just
Speaker 2: humans trying to figure it out.
Speaker 3: Nobody hasn't figured it.
Speaker 2: Out, and at the end of the day, we all
Speaker 2: just want love, you know, and and so you know,
Speaker 2: no matter who it was. And so I do think
Speaker 2: getting to grow up in that environment, meeting so many
Speaker 2: different people definitely had its impact on my view.
Speaker 3: It also helped me when I got into this business
Speaker 3: because I remember, especially when I first started.
Speaker 2: You meet all these people, and you know, you're on
Speaker 2: these like silly shows or whatever. You get these like
Speaker 2: a big attitudes, which I know you've dealt with before,
Speaker 2: and it's like, I'm sorry.
Speaker 3: What some of the like, you know, most I caught like.
Speaker 2: Stevie Nicks, for God's sake, and she doesn't act like this,
Speaker 2: Like then what are we doing here? So it gave
Speaker 2: me that perspective of like we are just people, We're
Speaker 2: just fun, Like what is the act?
Speaker 3: Get down and match.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like if you're lucky enough to get to
Speaker 1: do this work, you should you should remember how sort
Speaker 1: of silly it is. Like it's a big deal and
Speaker 1: it's also not it's both.
Speaker 3: Yeah, was it totally.
Speaker 1: When you started working, because I know, you know, you
Speaker 1: started modeling and then you started acting. Did you did
Speaker 1: you always know that you wanted to be an actor?
Speaker 1: Was there like a motivation there for you?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: So I grew up playing violin since I was six,
Speaker 2: and I used to travel when I was high school overseas.
Speaker 2: I played in a big orchestra in Florida. I always
Speaker 2: thought that was going to be my past. So if
Speaker 2: I did enjoy performing, But then I kind of like
Speaker 2: fell into an acting class because I started modeling and
Speaker 2: I didn't like it and I was very shy, and
Speaker 2: so the photographer told my mom, she was like, you
Speaker 2: should put her in an acting class to kind of
Speaker 2: open her up.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, this is what I like,
Speaker 3: not that.
Speaker 2: And then I remember my dad sitting me down in
Speaker 2: my bedroom and he was like, look, I see where
Speaker 2: you want to go to LA for acting after high school.
Speaker 2: And I think that's great. He's like, I went on
Speaker 2: my first tour when I was eighteen. I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm passing the baton.
Speaker 3: Like go ahead, he was.
Speaker 2: Like, but I feel like I need to choose. He's like,
Speaker 2: try to be great at what you do.
Speaker 3: Like I see you.
Speaker 2: Dabbling in so many different things, and he's like, you know,
Speaker 2: if violence is going to be the main focus, make
Speaker 2: it that.
Speaker 3: If acting is going to be the main focus, make
Speaker 3: it that.
Speaker 2: And it's so kind of interesting because I really took
Speaker 2: that to heart for so long, and there's kind of
Speaker 2: two parts of that. I was so appreciative because my
Speaker 2: dad taught me work ethic. My dad lives, sleeps, eats, drums.
Speaker 2: He is a drummer. He would die without music like
Speaker 2: I always do. It was like music and then us
Speaker 2: like I did that, man is music? May am not
Speaker 2: that way. There is not one thing that has totally
Speaker 2: captured me. And that wait, I love dabbling, I really do.
Speaker 2: I love writing, I love acting, I love music. I
Speaker 2: love this one day, I love this one day, I
Speaker 2: love that And I always felt a little insignificant because
Speaker 2: of that for a while, and then I had to
Speaker 2: learn that, Okay, just because my dad is a master
Speaker 2: of one doesn't.
Speaker 3: Mean I can't be a jack of all trades. Like
Speaker 3: I had to.
Speaker 2: Learn that in my own way that I had this
Speaker 2: enormous pressure of my dad saying, be a master at something,
Speaker 2: don't be a jack of all trades.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh god, what does that mean?
Speaker 3: So that was like a really cool gift.
Speaker 2: And then you know, I had somebody say to me,
Speaker 2: They're like, well, if everybody was a master, we would
Speaker 2: have no masters.
Speaker 3: And I was like, oh.
Speaker 2: My god, yes, I am the jack of all trades.
Speaker 2: I am not the master of one craft. So it
Speaker 2: was really cool to know that about yourself because I
Speaker 2: think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to
Speaker 2: be so great at that one thing, and not everybody's
Speaker 2: built for that.
Speaker 1: You know, I totally agree, And I think especially when
Speaker 1: you're a deeply curious person and really as as part
Speaker 1: of what makes us interesting is that we go out
Speaker 1: and we experience all these different things and then we
Speaker 1: come back and tell a story about them. And I think,
Speaker 1: you know, if you're just so focused on the one
Speaker 1: thing I don't know, I would think as an actor
Speaker 1: it would actually sort of narrow your ability to do
Speaker 1: your job.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really interesting, And I never thought of it
Speaker 2: that way either, because yeah, we do have to We
Speaker 2: have to learn so many different crafts within our craft
Speaker 2: to honor whatever character we're playing at the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's so different every time. And if you
Speaker 1: think about like even the two universes we've worked in together,
Speaker 1: from One Tree Hill to the you know, Chicago universe,
Speaker 1: Like who could be more different than Brooke Davis and
Speaker 1: Nanny Carey to like me playing a cop and you
Speaker 1: playing a doctor, Like we literally have to learn such
Speaker 1: different skill sets kind of crazy. And you, I mean,
Speaker 1: what what a wild experience too when you think about
Speaker 1: like version one of us, because not only did you
Speaker 1: come in and I know we talked about this a
Speaker 1: lot on Drama Queens, but I'll ask you some questions
Speaker 1: about it here today anyway, But I think about like
Speaker 1: not only you playing Nanny Carey on our show on
Speaker 1: One Tree Hill, but you were on One Tree Hill
Speaker 1: and Pretty Little Liars, and and you were on Vampire Diaries.
Speaker 1: So it's like three of our sort of most iconic
Speaker 1: shows of this like decade span in you know, teen
Speaker 1: focused television. Was that wild for you? Did you were
Speaker 1: you just like, oh, there's something I meant to do
Speaker 1: in this universe? Like what was that experience? Like doing
Speaker 1: three big pillar properties like that?
Speaker 2: It was pretty trippy because at one point I was
Speaker 2: doing all three at the same no, no, no, I was
Speaker 2: just doing vamparaties and pretty lit liars at the same time,
Speaker 2: I think, But yeah, they came right after one. It
Speaker 2: was it was pretty trippy because it felt it like
Speaker 2: I was like, second, like I grew up watching shows
Speaker 2: like this, and now like the three that are really
Speaker 2: here right now, like I'm doing a thing on all times.
Speaker 3: Like it was.
Speaker 2: It was a pretty It still is a pretty experience,
Speaker 2: I have to be honest, because you have like you know,
Speaker 2: when somebody comes up they're like, oh you're you were also,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're also, And I'm like, yeah, that's
Speaker 2: like not to like be like, oh, good job.
Speaker 3: But it was like, you know, it's just really all luck.
Speaker 2: We auditioned for how many things a year and we
Speaker 2: get like maybe one two, So it is weird that
Speaker 2: they all happen to be in that same kind of
Speaker 2: teen pop culture environment. But yeah, I really I'm so
Speaker 2: grateful for that because there's no one that controls this
Speaker 2: world more than teens, especially teen girls. And so I
Speaker 2: always say like, I feel like I am might I
Speaker 2: have my career because of teen girls.
Speaker 1: Really we love them. That's so neat.
Speaker 3: We love them.
Speaker 1: We'll be back in just a minute, but here's a
Speaker 1: word from our sponsors. So you did share with us
Speaker 1: on the other show about this, but for our work
Speaker 1: in progress listeners, what felt really important to you when
Speaker 1: you were playing Nanny Carey Because all of us brought
Speaker 1: up to you when we discussed this at first that
Speaker 1: it was such a like such a wild role, and
Speaker 1: you brought that, you know, horror movie level fear to
Speaker 1: all of us through this person. But you also really
Speaker 1: humanized her. You didn't just play her as a villain,
Speaker 1: And and was it hard to kind of wrap your
Speaker 1: head around becoming that person every day when you had
Speaker 1: to go to work.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it was interesting because I think that
Speaker 2: one of the things that's important about doing.
Speaker 3: A characters you have to find stuppy for your character.
Speaker 2: And when I put together and learned that she had
Speaker 2: lost a son of her own a child of her own,
Speaker 2: and I thought to myself, like, I can't imagine what
Speaker 2: that must do to the psyche. And I allowed that
Speaker 2: loss and grief to drive her to basically break, you know,
Speaker 2: her sanity and do all the things that she did.
Speaker 3: Then after that it was like it not that it
Speaker 3: was easy to do.
Speaker 2: Those things, but I had such a justification for it,
Speaker 2: and I felt so bad for her, do you know
Speaker 2: what I mean, Like it felt so bad for her.
Speaker 2: And then it was so it was so easy and
Speaker 2: so fun to show up for because I remember it
Speaker 2: was the first time in my career where I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, like I'm not just like playing the
Speaker 2: girlfriend or the what you know, Like I get to
Speaker 2: like emotionally show up and do things like somebody's allowing
Speaker 2: me to do things.
Speaker 3: So it was like that was beyond thrilling.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is fun to play someone who's crazy,
Speaker 1: like to get to lean in and just do wild
Speaker 1: things out of the ordinary because an actor is so exciting.
Speaker 3: Totally. I always say it for free therapy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, did you enjoy it? Like were there
Speaker 1: days where you just thought, Oh, I'm really going to
Speaker 1: lean into this and make this so wild and just
Speaker 1: have a ball.
Speaker 3: Totally. I enjoyed it so much.
Speaker 2: I mean, obviously, in the moment, I was so like, oh,
Speaker 2: intense about wanting to make sure that I was like
Speaker 2: gonna nail it.
Speaker 3: But when you leave and you know that feeling of exhaustion.
Speaker 2: After putting yourself out there emotionally and you just feel depleted,
Speaker 2: But it's like the best feeling in the world as
Speaker 2: an actor when you go home with that level of
Speaker 2: exhaustion knowing I did it, you know what I mean.
Speaker 3: I did in my job the way I wanted to
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 2: Because there's nothing worse than when you come home from
Speaker 2: a scene and you're like, oh, I couldn't get there.
Speaker 3: I didn't do it the way I wanted to. Dang it.
Speaker 3: I wish I had you a hand.
Speaker 2: But when you walk away and you're like, ah, yes,
Speaker 2: no matter what anybody says about it, I know I
Speaker 2: walked away from that scene feeling like I nailed it,
Speaker 2: so screw what everybody else says, right, And I did
Speaker 2: feel that way a lot in that season of the
Speaker 2: show when she was the crazy nanny, So that always
Speaker 2: felt so good.
Speaker 1: That's really exciting. Was it an interesting thing? To go
Speaker 1: from playing a villain on our show and then going
Speaker 1: into Pretty Little Liars and playing another character that garnered
Speaker 1: a lot of, like very strong reaction from the fans.
Speaker 1: I mean, how did you kind of process that? Because
Speaker 1: I know, you know, I know for Paul, for example,
Speaker 1: on One Tree Hill playing Dan Scott, he got a
Speaker 1: lot of really intense feedback from fans. And you know,
Speaker 1: as we were on One Tree Hill and then you
Speaker 1: went onto Pretty Little Liars, social media had launched. Was
Speaker 1: it hard to kind of be on the receiving end
Speaker 1: of online you know, criticism and anger at your characters
Speaker 1: or or did you always have a good relationship to
Speaker 1: being able to separate the two?
Speaker 2: He was. It was bizarre because people were very angry,
Speaker 2: especially with One Tree Hill Pretty Lot Liars.
Speaker 3: My character started off very questionable and very.
Speaker 2: Like she was not her homents of being likable, but
Speaker 2: was unlikable kind of from the beginning, so that was
Speaker 2: kind of who she was. But with One Tree Hill, like,
Speaker 2: people were mad because they loved joy and game together
Speaker 2: and it was like, how dare.
Speaker 3: You come in here? And I was like, okay, it's
Speaker 3: not real, it's not real.
Speaker 2: So it was exciting because you always feel like, oh,
Speaker 2: I must be doing something right if people are just upset.
Speaker 2: I did get nervous sometimes when people will come to
Speaker 2: me in public and like I hate you, and you're like, okay,
Speaker 2: that was weird. I always thought it was funny when
Speaker 2: I would actually meet friends of friends and they'd be like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, you're so nice.
Speaker 3: It wasn't expecting you to be this nice.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god, that's bizarre that somebody
Speaker 2: has like a preconceived notion that I might be a
Speaker 2: horrible bitch. You know what I mean. You're like, wait what,
Speaker 2: But you know, I find obviously, obviously more and more
Speaker 2: difficult is when and when those shows become popular and
Speaker 2: then rather than just thinking about your character and getting
Speaker 2: out of your character, people start to do sing things
Speaker 2: about you like you outside your character, and when those
Speaker 2: attacks come in, that's a whole different tough skin. I'm
Speaker 2: sure you know that you have to build, and that's
Speaker 2: the most challenging part out.
Speaker 3: Of all this, I think for sure.
Speaker 1: I totally agree, and especially because as humans we already
Speaker 1: carry self doubt. We are so worried about, you know,
Speaker 1: ever hurting other people. All of these things that are
Speaker 1: just what it's like to exist in the world, and
Speaker 1: then you're trying to bolster yourself, but you're on the
Speaker 1: receiving end of the opinions of millions of people. And
Speaker 1: I think people forget that that, like they people assume that,
Speaker 1: you know, quote unquote, fame builds you up, but actually
Speaker 1: what it does is it just why's the sort of
Speaker 1: firing squad that you face every day in addition to
Speaker 1: the firing squad of your own mind? And so it
Speaker 1: can be really hard, I think, to figure out how
Speaker 1: to hold onto your sense of self and not allow,
Speaker 1: you know, the cacophony of other people's critiques to penetrate you,
Speaker 1: especially when they're not based in fact. You know they're
Speaker 1: not true, and you're like, wait, what's happening to me?
Speaker 2: Right when you see these outlandish rumors about yourself or something,
Speaker 2: and you're like, where does this even get concocted?
Speaker 3: From? Who at the time to create this?
Speaker 2: And then you want to say you want to right
Speaker 2: the wrongs, and you're like, oh my gosh, I would
Speaker 2: be wasting so much energy.
Speaker 1: You just can't litigate it.
Speaker 3: You can't, you can't. But I thought to me, because
Speaker 3: I was kind of freaked out. I was like, you know,
Speaker 3: thought is energy, right, So.
Speaker 2: If I have all these people directing energy towards me
Speaker 2: every day, that have to be hitting me in some way.
Speaker 2: So my really really good friends, she was like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I want you to sit at night. She's like, create
Speaker 2: like a hologram version of yourself and connect that to
Speaker 2: the outside world and that's where the comments will be
Speaker 2: directed to.
Speaker 3: So guess what, you guys, You're not hitting me anymore.
Speaker 3: You're hitting my holograms.
Speaker 1: That's so smart though, to create a sort of a
Speaker 1: practice of separating yourself from that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to separate it, and then physically separating
Speaker 2: myself clearly from being in Michigan with a huge physical separation,
Speaker 2: which is so lovely.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's pretty incredible. It's interesting because you know,
Speaker 1: to your point, that kind of energy and the input
Speaker 1: of all these people, I think can make it really
Speaker 1: hard to go out and you know, stand in public spaces.
Speaker 1: And something that you and I have in common is
Speaker 1: like we are here to serve. We're outspoken women. We
Speaker 1: try to do as much good with our platforms as
Speaker 1: we can and show up as advocates and activists and
Speaker 1: that can put a target on your back, and then
Speaker 1: you know, we're in this crazy upside down world that
Speaker 1: we're in now, where you know, decades generations of progress
Speaker 1: for people and for women in particular are being rolled back.
Speaker 1: And I was so grateful After Dobbs was overturned, you
Speaker 1: publicly shared a story that you've shared, you know, privately
Speaker 1: in your community, but you talked about having had abortion
Speaker 1: care at twenty one and having the self awareness to
Speaker 1: know that you really have to shield yourself from negativity
Speaker 1: in these big public spaces. How did you decide to
Speaker 1: sort of leap over that hurdle knowing that you were
Speaker 1: absolutely going to make women feel less alone, but also
Speaker 1: knowing that that was going to expose like you know,
Speaker 1: your personal life and your trials and tribulations to strangers. Like,
Speaker 1: how do you decide when to kind of bear your
Speaker 1: soul for the potential to help other people?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: For me, it's just like it becomes an all encompassing feeling, right,
Speaker 3: Like I respect, Like some people get so hard on
Speaker 3: certain people for not using their voices, especially certain actors
Speaker 3: or musical celebrities, And I always think to myself, I'm like,
Speaker 3: how can you judge that like it is not. It
Speaker 3: is very scary to put yourself out there, your opinions
Speaker 3: out there.
Speaker 2: People are scary, do you know what I'd tell People
Speaker 2: are scary, and some people want to protect themselves and
Speaker 2: their families, and they have every right to do that.
Speaker 2: And so but for me, like I don't have that feeling.
Speaker 2: I feel like it's more important for me to get
Speaker 2: that out there, to make other women feel like they're
Speaker 2: less alone, to get this story out there for the
Speaker 2: greater good. And I'm willing to take that risk, and
Speaker 2: I respect those who are not willing to take that risk,
Speaker 2: you know. And so that's kind of how it happened.
Speaker 2: You know, I had a miss I had an abortion
Speaker 2: at twenty one, a miscarriage at twenty nine, and I
Speaker 2: had to take the abortion pills at twenty.
Speaker 3: Nine and I had an abortion.
Speaker 2: So either way without those like with my miscarriage, I
Speaker 2: would have died if that stuff would it, if that
Speaker 2: if that would have stayed inside of me.
Speaker 3: And so people don't understand that.
Speaker 2: It's such a broader conversation and so for me, I
Speaker 2: would like I have to share that because it is
Speaker 2: so scary where we're getting to it is so so
Speaker 2: scary and it's unfathomable as well. And so but I
Speaker 2: will say my mother hates it. She loved it because
Speaker 2: she she loves who I am and what I stand for.
Speaker 3: But she's like, people are so scary. I hate that you.
Speaker 2: Oh my, I'm like, mom, just trust everything's okay, you know,
Speaker 2: But yeah, it's I think.
Speaker 3: I'm sure your parents feel the same way. Your family
Speaker 3: member sometimes. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think it's scarier
Speaker 3: for the people who love us than it is for us. Sometimes,
Speaker 3: I agree.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really that's a really good way to
Speaker 1: put it, because for me it does. I think in
Speaker 1: the way you're discussing it, it feels like an inevitability,
Speaker 1: Like showing up and talking about these things is something
Speaker 1: I feel called to do, like I have to do it.
Speaker 1: And yeah, it's terrifying for the people that love me
Speaker 1: because they know what comes with that. Yeah, And I think,
Speaker 1: but I think it's all connected, right, Like people who
Speaker 1: want to deny that reproductive care is healthcare, Like you're
Speaker 1: talking about your experience having a miscarriage, which so many
Speaker 1: of the women in our community have been through, so
Speaker 1: many of us have have dealt with you know, all
Speaker 1: the trials and tribulations of fertility, and it is unbearably complex,
Speaker 1: and people don't want to acknowledge that what we're talking
Speaker 1: about is healthcare. What we're talking about our medical procedures.
Speaker 1: And and I think to your point, when you can
Speaker 1: just lay the facts bear, you can remind people of
Speaker 1: what reality looks like. And you know, we all saw
Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago when Alabama banned IVF, and
Speaker 1: then there were doctors that were like, well, we're doing
Speaker 1: this so people can have more babies.
Speaker 3: And it's like.
Speaker 1: IVF is how people have babies, Like you don't even
Speaker 1: know what the procedure is, and you're making laws about it. Like,
Speaker 1: maybe let's leave this stuff up to the doctors, you know,
Speaker 1: right right, I mean.
Speaker 3: It all falls under two.
Speaker 2: Like I just if they even understood the complexity of
Speaker 2: a female body in general, maybe maybe just a little
Speaker 2: bit of this way, could you imagine?
Speaker 3: Could you imagine?
Speaker 1: It is really so wild. But I do think that
Speaker 1: the more we can destigmatize the conversations, the more we
Speaker 1: can have frank discussions about medical procedures and how how
Speaker 1: people plan and choose their families. You know, the more
Speaker 1: we can also set not only ourselves but all women
Speaker 1: and people who want to have families up to have
Speaker 1: the futures that they want when they are capable of
Speaker 1: having those things. And that that feels like an important
Speaker 1: part of the conversation too.
Speaker 3: Yes, that's very big and important part of the conversation. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I would imagine you know, as we said, the internet
Speaker 1: can be loud and toxic. But I would also imagine
Speaker 1: that there were a lot of people, you know, fans
Speaker 1: and friends alike, who were probably so grateful that you
Speaker 1: opened up that conversation in the week of you having
Speaker 1: it publicly. It was what was that kind of experience
Speaker 1: like for you?
Speaker 2: That connectivity is I feel like what being a human
Speaker 2: being is supposed to feel like certain messages I was
Speaker 2: receiving of, I feel less alone, I feel seen.
Speaker 3: Thank you for saying this.
Speaker 2: And so I had a lot of friends that reached
Speaker 2: out that were like, I don't feel comfortable using my
Speaker 2: voice like this, but this also happened.
Speaker 3: To me, so thank you.
Speaker 2: And it was like, this is what being part of
Speaker 2: a community, being a woman, being collectively women together, you know,
Speaker 2: being human beings together, being female identifying persons together. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and so that makes it all worth it. That turns
Speaker 2: that into that moment of like, I can't not do this, do.
Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Does that make you really want to continue to stay
Speaker 1: active and involved? And you know, had women's reproductive freedoms
Speaker 1: to the long list of all the groups that you
Speaker 1: advocate for already.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. It is going to be a life
Speaker 3: long fite of mine for sure.
Speaker 2: And you know, I hope that the battle we're in
Speaker 2: right now does to take all my life to get
Speaker 2: out of. But I'm sure other things will pop up
Speaker 2: within the female reproductive rights. Female rights, you know's a
Speaker 2: huge category filled with things. Oh but yes, that's so
Speaker 2: so important to me. You know, I have so many
Speaker 2: women in my family. It's crazy.
Speaker 3: We're we're just cousins alike.
Speaker 2: I have like sisters, I have three sisters, a ton
Speaker 2: of female cousins, so many aunts. My grandma basically raised
Speaker 2: all of us, was like a matriarchy of our family.
Speaker 2: And so it's like I just grew up around so
Speaker 2: many females, and I still so many females that it's
Speaker 2: like I can't not do you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: It's just it's too important.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally feel that too. Are there nonprofits or
Speaker 1: organizations that you've started working with that you're really inspired by.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I've started working with the National Abortion Foundation NAF
Speaker 2: and AF whom I really love, done a lot of.
Speaker 3: Stuff with planned parenthood.
Speaker 2: And then also, I know this isn't you know, reproductive rights,
Speaker 2: but I still work with Safe Bay who that is
Speaker 2: so important to me because we go in and we
Speaker 2: talk to high schoolers and even middle schoolers believe it
Speaker 2: or not, about sexual consent and their rights and the
Speaker 2: things that are protecting them in schools that they don't
Speaker 2: even know are protecting them, and how they have to
Speaker 2: knowledge themselves because a lot of adults don't even know
Speaker 2: this information and getting to them when they're young, and
Speaker 2: I am so inspired by young people these days. They
Speaker 2: have knowledge and courage that I couldn't have even dreamt
Speaker 2: of when I was in high school. Like these kids
Speaker 2: they want knowledge and so that to me, like being
Speaker 2: able to connect with the younger generation like that, to
Speaker 2: show them their no show them their power, show them
Speaker 2: their yeses is so amazing and important to me.
Speaker 3: And that's the word the Safe Bay that does.
Speaker 1: That I love really incredible. We'll be back in just
Speaker 1: a minute after a few words from our favorite sponsors.
Speaker 1: Some of the things that have been so inspiring for
Speaker 1: me to learn about when we have conversations like this,
Speaker 1: you know, conversations around consent, conversations around how to have
Speaker 1: you know, these discussions with young people, is that the
Speaker 1: more informed they are and the more that they see
Speaker 1: themselves in stories, the more they're also able to identify
Speaker 1: what is happening to them. And you know, it's one
Speaker 1: of these big conversations we're having around book banning, right
Speaker 1: is there's groups saying, well, you know, kids shouldn't read
Speaker 1: stories like this, and it's like, well, if kids read
Speaker 1: stories about sexual abuse, if they read stories about consent,
Speaker 1: if they read stories about healthy relationships, they can identify
Speaker 1: their experiences in those stories, and actually they're much more
Speaker 1: prone to have safe relationships, safe sex, eventually, you know,
Speaker 1: safe relations with each other. And that that's something that
Speaker 1: I find, to your point, so inspiring about right now,
Speaker 1: as we have more research than ever, we know what
Speaker 1: works and what doesn't, like, we have all the proven
Speaker 1: metrics at our fingertips, and we can do better for
Speaker 1: kids than anybody ever did for us.
Speaker 2: For sure, absolutely, you know, I nobody gave me this
Speaker 2: information when I was growing up, and I think I
Speaker 2: was I think I was twenty two, maybe.
Speaker 3: Even a little bit older. No, no, no, I I
Speaker 3: was older.
Speaker 2: I was in my mid twenties and I went to
Speaker 2: a play called flot the play with Daphne's unigat, and
Speaker 2: I was dumbfounded at the end of the play and
Speaker 2: I looked at her and I was like, I'm in
Speaker 2: my mid twenties and I had no idea that rape
Speaker 2: was anything other than sexual penetration. I didn't know because
Speaker 2: the girl the guy assaulted her with his hand and
Speaker 2: she said she was raped, and I was like, that's rape.
Speaker 2: And I started thinking about experiences I had in high
Speaker 2: school because I didn't know my know and I was
Speaker 2: scared to not be liked. And everything crumbled for me
Speaker 2: in that moment, and I felt so sad for yourself
Speaker 2: for things that I had gone through because I didn't
Speaker 2: know that I could speak up.
Speaker 3: I didn't know that I could say no. And I
Speaker 3: was watching this plane. I was like, I am a
Speaker 3: grown ass woman who didn't even know what pape was.
Speaker 2: Like that is so and in that moment, I was like,
Speaker 2: there's never going to be a young girl that crosses
Speaker 2: my path that doesn't know this information as well.
Speaker 3: It was mind blow because they don't teach us this stuff.
Speaker 3: I don't empower us with this stuff.
Speaker 2: And so I love that that is starting to change
Speaker 2: with that generation that is like, we are not accepting
Speaker 2: this anymore. This is not like a boys boys culture anymore.
Speaker 2: Like no, no, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, I meant to that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really inspiring to see the ship and to
Speaker 1: your point, it only comes with knowledge. Yeah, how did
Speaker 1: you find Safe Bay in the first place?
Speaker 2: So I was actually in Chicago, I think it was
Speaker 2: season one of MED and I watched this documentary Audrey
Speaker 2: and Daisy on Netflix. It had just come out, and
Speaker 2: I was incensed, like I was on fire after it,
Speaker 2: Like it was so sad for those who don't know.
Speaker 2: It's about girls who were sexually assaulted and raped, and
Speaker 2: it centers around for girls and I wouldn't believe the
Speaker 2: protection that the community gave the boys. And oh my god,
Speaker 2: there was no justice for these girls. And I looked
Speaker 2: them up afterwards it was like midnight, and I saw
Speaker 2: that they had started at a foundation together.
Speaker 3: The girls got together. They didn't know each other.
Speaker 2: Before the documentary, they got together and they started Safe
Speaker 2: Bay and I reached out to my policis and I
Speaker 2: was like, please get me in touch with them. I
Speaker 2: need to be in touch with them, and I did,
Speaker 2: and we've been working together ever since. And I just
Speaker 2: think the bravery of these girls is just beyond And
Speaker 2: it's a youth led organization and they all know they're.
Speaker 3: Getting a little bit older.
Speaker 2: They're in their twenties now, and so they keep bringing in,
Speaker 2: you know, younger people to make sure that people.
Speaker 3: You know, a lot of kids don't want to talk
Speaker 3: to adults about this stuff.
Speaker 2: They want to feel heard, you know, that it's not
Speaker 2: somebody like, hey, I'm cool too.
Speaker 3: You're like, no, you're getting old. So they're just doing
Speaker 3: it so right.
Speaker 2: And you know, unfortunately, we did end up losing one
Speaker 2: of the founder's Daisy.
Speaker 3: She ended up taking her life in twenty twenty.
Speaker 2: And I thought that, you know, is another part of
Speaker 2: the story that's so important because sometimes people think even
Speaker 2: when somebody does get justice or when their story is heard,
Speaker 2: the healing goes on forever and ever and it's never over,
Speaker 2: and so it's just an ongoing conversation. But yeah, meeting
Speaker 2: these girls and being a part of this organization has
Speaker 2: been just one of the highlights of my adult.
Speaker 3: Life for sure.
Speaker 2: And one thing we really stress in Safe Bay men
Speaker 2: are such a huge part of the conversation and I
Speaker 2: love mess Like I know it sounds like when I
Speaker 2: talk all the time that I'm like, grow the guy
Speaker 2: like this is, but no, we need men right now.
Speaker 3: We need them. I love them. They need to make
Speaker 3: for a conversation.
Speaker 2: And I'm always impressed with those boys that show up
Speaker 2: at the high school cafeteria and want to learn about
Speaker 2: Safe By.
Speaker 3: I want to support. I'm like, yep, amazing.
Speaker 1: Well, because that's the thing, right is, systems are what
Speaker 1: hurt people, and the system of patriarchy that makes women
Speaker 1: victims of sexual violence also does violence to men. And
Speaker 1: what so many people don't talk about when we have
Speaker 1: these conversations is it's you know, it's one in four
Speaker 1: of us. By the time we're twenty two, it's one
Speaker 1: in six of them. So we have to start figuring
Speaker 1: out how to undo the violence that is encouraged in
Speaker 1: male spaces. Men need safe spaces too. So I love
Speaker 1: that you're I love that you're talking about that. And
Speaker 1: one of my very first calls anytime anything happens in
Speaker 1: my life is my best friend Kenny. Like I wouldn't
Speaker 1: be where I am without him. And I think it's
Speaker 1: so important for us to, you know, to solve it together.
Speaker 3: For sure.
Speaker 1: And do you think that loving to you know, advocate
Speaker 1: and also welcome people into conversation like this is is
Speaker 1: like part of what the spirit is behind you going
Speaker 1: and launching your Instagram, live chat, launching stream of consciousness.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I also felt like, so there's a part of me
Speaker 2: too that I love, like spirituality and wellness and all
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. And I get so frustrated with
Speaker 2: all these companies and blogs that make it seem like
Speaker 2: you have to be a multi millionaire to be a
Speaker 2: part of the wellness industry. You know, you can make
Speaker 2: your own milk for very, very inexpensively.
Speaker 3: You know, you know, you could do so much.
Speaker 2: You could, You could heal yourself. All you need is
Speaker 2: your mind and your body to really do all these things.
Speaker 2: Go outside, take your shoes off for your feet on
Speaker 2: the ground, and meditate, And so that was kind of
Speaker 2: the driving forces.
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I want to get some of
Speaker 3: the things that I want to learn about and I
Speaker 3: want to talk about out there, and so maybe.
Speaker 2: Some people won't want to hear it, so let's just
Speaker 2: do a snippet and then if they like it, they
Speaker 2: can continue following this other person.
Speaker 1: You know, Okay, can you can you tell listeners of
Speaker 1: the podcast what to expect when they tune in.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So with the IG Live, it's somebody new every week.
Speaker 3: It's somebody who I have kind.
Speaker 2: Of found through Instagram or books or whatever podcasts, and
Speaker 2: who inspires me or is talking something that either I
Speaker 2: know about and I want to know more about, or
Speaker 2: I genuinely don't know anything about. And I'm always so
Speaker 2: impressed because I'll get somebody on. And I had somebody
Speaker 2: on the other day who decodes things through dreams, and
Speaker 2: I thought to myself, Okay, I'm going to.
Speaker 3: Learn that a safe means you're in trouble whatever.
Speaker 2: Who knows it gots so deep and so interesting that
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, and that's I think the funnest,
Speaker 2: most fun part for me is like I get so
Speaker 2: inspired after these conversations, like I'm lit up by them,
Speaker 2: Like you know, they make me want to learn more.
Speaker 3: And so I hope that's kind of what it leaves
Speaker 3: everybody else feeling too, you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I think I think that's kind
Speaker 1: of one of the best parts of everything in the
Speaker 1: Internet age is that we can actually just ask each
Speaker 1: other questions. We can do this like I'm I'm currently
Speaker 1: in New York and you're in Michigan and we're on
Speaker 1: zoom recording conversation we're having, like what it's so it's
Speaker 1: so cool. So I love that you're doing that. And
Speaker 1: then I do want to ask you a very exciting
Speaker 1: personal question because last time we did this on the
Speaker 1: other show, I was like, Okay, we're not talking about it,
Speaker 1: so maybe we're just like not talking about it. But
Speaker 1: then obviously at the end of our chat, we all
Speaker 1: were like gushing over your engagement and we're just so
Speaker 1: happy for you. And I know that all the fans
Speaker 1: are like, wait, how did they meet? And they also
Speaker 1: want to congratulate you. So I'm bringing all the listeners
Speaker 1: in so we can gush about your sweet man for
Speaker 1: a minute.
Speaker 3: His name is Jared. He he's originally from Michigan.
Speaker 2: He's just the kindest, most aware person, so much so
Speaker 2: that I almost didn't even know how to accept him
Speaker 2: in my life at some point, because when you're used to,
Speaker 2: like when you're not used to somebody who's so nurturing
Speaker 2: and amazing, and.
Speaker 3: I was like, what is this?
Speaker 2: What is this?
Speaker 1: Oh girl, tell me about it?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Yeah, when you're like wait, you're like wait a second,
Speaker 1: you're you're like hold on. So if I yet toxic
Speaker 1: was bad? And then I thought, was normal? What's better
Speaker 1: than normal?
Speaker 2: Is it good?
Speaker 3: Can I have that?
Speaker 2: Can I have that where you're healthy, you're you're saying
Speaker 2: you're emotionally available? What is that?
Speaker 3: But yeah, no, he's amazing.
Speaker 2: So my my cousin Alexandra so I so a little
Speaker 2: bit of Michigan background. My mother is originally from Michigan,
Speaker 2: and so I grew up. I was living in New York,
Speaker 2: That's where I was born, and we would come to
Speaker 2: Michigan every summer to visit my family. So my cous
Speaker 2: a lot of my cousins you know, grew up here.
Speaker 2: And one of my cousins randomly, one day I was.
Speaker 3: Filming, actually my last day.
Speaker 2: No. I came back for this finale of Chicago Med
Speaker 2: season seven to kind of like with Nick's good guy,
Speaker 2: I felm just seemed with him. And my I came
Speaker 2: to pick me up to bring me back to Michigan,
Speaker 2: and she was like, we were talking about dating, and
Speaker 2: I was like, well, I'm out here on the farm.
Speaker 2: I'm not going to meet anybody, and I don't want
Speaker 2: to meet anybody in LA or New York because they're
Speaker 2: not going to want to live here and I want
Speaker 2: to stay in Michigan.
Speaker 3: She's like, Oh, I wish I had somebody to hook
Speaker 3: you up.
Speaker 4: But she's like, actually, I used to know this guy
Speaker 4: in college and I always thought he was so cute,
Speaker 4: and you know, he likes reading and he loves Stephen King,
Speaker 4: Like I really think you guys are all into like
Speaker 4: the same things.
Speaker 3: She's like, can I put you guys in touch?
Speaker 2: And I was like sure, why not? Just thinking like whatever,
Speaker 2: this systems got to work. So she d ms him
Speaker 2: on Instagram because they haven't spoken since college. Mind you wow,
Speaker 2: So this has been like a very long time, and
Speaker 2: so she randomly thought of him, like randomly, So she
Speaker 2: dms him and he said he woke up in the
Speaker 2: middle of the night. He didn't have his glasses on,
Speaker 2: so it was all blurry and he was like, oh,
Speaker 2: maybe I want to look at this in the morning.
Speaker 3: He looks at it in the morning. She sent him
Speaker 3: a link to my profile.
Speaker 2: He like clicked on it and he's like, oh, yeah, sure,
Speaker 2: you know, like dating's hard in your thirties.
Speaker 3: I'd love to meet your cousin, he goes.
Speaker 2: After I sent that message, he went back to my profile,
Speaker 2: realized how many followers I had, and then I was
Speaker 2: an actor and he was like, oh, shoot, her cousin
Speaker 2: sent me the wrong profile. So now I just agreed
Speaker 2: to date this actress and I don't even know what
Speaker 2: her cousin looks like. So we wrote her back and
Speaker 2: he's like, oh, I think he sent the wrong profile,
Speaker 2: and she's like, no, I think that's my that it
Speaker 2: really is my cousin.
Speaker 3: He thought he was getting catfish, like it was like
Speaker 3: a prank that she was trying to play.
Speaker 1: That is amazing.
Speaker 3: So anyways, we got in touch.
Speaker 2: I had left to go do a film for a month,
Speaker 2: so we just kind of communicated via the phone, and
Speaker 2: then we met up on our first date and one
Speaker 2: of my favorite restaurants in my little.
Speaker 3: Farmtown and the rest is history. And it, honestly, it's like.
Speaker 2: I've created my own Hallmark movie. You guys, it's like,
Speaker 2: it's ridiculous.
Speaker 3: He is so sweet.
Speaker 2: He had like the red Fox lab. You know, he
Speaker 2: wears flannels. He like had an old re done like
Speaker 2: Jeep from like, you know, the seventies and eighties. Love it.
Speaker 3: Em and his brothers own.
Speaker 2: Their family business, mechanical contracting business that's been in their
Speaker 2: family for eighty five years.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, is this real life?
Speaker 1: No, it really is like a perfect Talmart Christmas movie.
Speaker 1: Is what we're doing.
Speaker 2: Really?
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: Well, we're all so happy for you, honey.
Speaker 3: It's it's exciting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just amazing. So when you you know, when
Speaker 1: you look ahead, obviously we're not going to get into
Speaker 1: any of the you know, details for the world about
Speaker 1: timing or planning or whatnot. But when you look kind
Speaker 1: of ahead at this year, you know, there's so much
Speaker 1: that's exciting on the horizon, and you've found your person
Speaker 1: and you've found your place, and you feel so settled.
Speaker 1: What what as you look at the future feels like
Speaker 1: your work in progress?
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, so much right now I'm stepping into
Speaker 3: so many new shoes.
Speaker 2: You know, I've realized, you know, I've been in relationships
Speaker 2: before and whatever, But I was always traveling, or that
Speaker 2: person was always traveling.
Speaker 3: I've never settled in with somebody.
Speaker 2: I've never created you created a life with somebody and
Speaker 2: a home with somebody.
Speaker 3: And so this is like, in a weird way, all
Speaker 3: very new for me, and.
Speaker 2: Being out here in Michigan and really getting centered and
Speaker 2: really being confident in my decision to be here and
Speaker 2: knowing that my place in the industry will be what
Speaker 2: it's meant to be and.
Speaker 3: I don't need to force it to appease anybody. Everything
Speaker 3: will just fall a place.
Speaker 2: And that's been really scary and really new for me too,
Speaker 2: of being like I need to honor where I want
Speaker 2: to be and be happy and I can't just be
Speaker 2: in this grind every day in LA because it's not
Speaker 2: making me happy.
Speaker 3: And so my work in progress is definitely just.
Speaker 2: Like continuing to press the path and center myself and
Speaker 2: really let you know, evolution in life and all that
Speaker 2: just kind of lay out for me.
Speaker 3: Also this not only is there a wedding on the
Speaker 3: horizon this year, I'm also turning forty. I mean we
Speaker 3: also got home. It's their best. It's a big year.
Speaker 3: It's a big breaking year.
Speaker 1: Forty is so good.
Speaker 3: I can't wait. Yeah, I really don't wait.
Speaker 2: It's so good.
Speaker 1: Everything changes in the best way.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I've been waiting for it. Instead
Speaker 3: of that, I'm like, well, I'm almost forty, then I'll
Speaker 3: be hop Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very like it feels deeply chic, and there
Speaker 1: is to your point, there's just such a knowledge of
Speaker 1: self that everybody says it and you go, yeah, but
Speaker 1: you know, I'm you know, I'm I'm curious, and I'm
Speaker 1: a reader and I'm an activist and I know myself.
Speaker 1: And then something happens and you're like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: all the people wiser and older than you were right
Speaker 1: and I had no right clue. So I'm so I
Speaker 1: love that it's all coming to such a cool moment
Speaker 1: of culmination for you.
Speaker 3: I love it too.
Speaker 2: And then and also the last little piece of that
Speaker 2: is like, you know, standing in myself even more.
Speaker 3: And I think that that's something that comes to these two.
Speaker 3: I feel like we hit certain moments in our life.
Speaker 2: Where we think I'm standing in myself more than ever,
Speaker 2: and then you wake up and you realize, oh my god,
Speaker 2: if I had known what I know now, then I
Speaker 2: realized I wasn't in myself at all.
Speaker 3: And you know, even if something as.
Speaker 2: Little as I put an audition on tape yesterday and
Speaker 2: I felt so good about it, and normally what makes
Speaker 2: me feel good is the validation I get back. And
Speaker 2: I thought, to myself, even if my team hates this tape,
Speaker 2: I'm not redoing it because I'm happy with it. And
Speaker 2: I've never said that before, and it was so freeing
Speaker 2: to go. I don't care what anyone else thinks right now.
Speaker 2: If I'm happy with it, that's all that matters, and
Speaker 2: that's it.
Speaker 3: It's heart. But some days it's hard. Some days he's brain.
Speaker 3: Some days it's hard.
Speaker 1: It is, but I think that's that's it, right, It's
Speaker 1: figuring out how to get to more days where you
Speaker 1: can live that way and feel that way.
Speaker 3: Absolutely.
Speaker 2: Oh, I love it.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you.
Speaker 3: This was so great.
Speaker 1: Thank you for coming and hanging today. I always love
Speaker 1: getting to see you.
Speaker 2: I know you too.
Speaker 3: Thanks for having me