1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:15,360 Speaker 1: Progress. Hello, my whip smarties. This week, I am so 2 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:19,480 Speaker 1: so excited because we're doing a bit of a crossover 3 00:00:19,800 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 1: between drama Queens and work in Progress. My lovely co 4 00:00:25,239 --> 00:00:31,040 Speaker 1: star friend and absolute of our galpal world from Wintree Hill, 5 00:00:31,120 --> 00:00:35,239 Speaker 1: Tory DeVito, is here today. You all know her from 6 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 1: our show as playing the wild and crazy Nanny Carey, 7 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:41,640 Speaker 1: which she did so beautifully. You might also know her 8 00:00:41,640 --> 00:00:45,240 Speaker 1: from Pretty Little Liars, The Vampire Diaries, or Chicago med. 9 00:00:45,840 --> 00:00:49,480 Speaker 1: Tory is such an amazing person. She is an outspoken 10 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:54,200 Speaker 1: advocate for animals. She incorporates conscious decisions into every aspect 11 00:00:54,240 --> 00:00:58,360 Speaker 1: of her life. She works on awareness and prevention against 12 00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:01,720 Speaker 1: sexual assault and violence, serving on the board of directors 13 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:06,479 Speaker 1: for Safe Bay, and she is just all around one 14 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,240 Speaker 1: of the most inspiring people that I know. I'm really 15 00:01:09,280 --> 00:01:12,399 Speaker 1: excited to talk to her today about her personal journey, 16 00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:17,080 Speaker 1: her career, her advocacy, her engagement and more. I do 17 00:01:17,240 --> 00:01:20,360 Speaker 1: just want to go ahead and give a little disclaimer 18 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: here that there are parts of our conversation that touch 19 00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: on sexual assault and sexual violence today, So I want 20 00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 1: you to have a trigger warning and feel, you know, 21 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 1: okay to listen to this conversation and if you don't, 22 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:35,399 Speaker 1: that's okay too. 23 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:36,320 Speaker 2: We love you. 24 00:01:36,600 --> 00:01:49,480 Speaker 1: Let's dive in with Tori. Hey, yeah, Ni, how are you? 25 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:51,720 Speaker 3: I'm good? How are you? 26 00:01:52,160 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: I'm good? I was so excited that we get to 27 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 1: do this. 28 00:01:55,760 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 3: I know me too. 29 00:01:57,960 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 1: Are you in Michigan? 30 00:01:59,320 --> 00:02:00,360 Speaker 3: I am? I am. 31 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,160 Speaker 2: I'm at my mom's house because it's too rainy for 32 00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:03,720 Speaker 2: good wife. 33 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,480 Speaker 3: I at the farm. 34 00:02:04,640 --> 00:02:08,440 Speaker 1: So oh yeah, you sweet soul. Well we'll have to 35 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:09,680 Speaker 1: say thank you to your mom. 36 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:10,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, okay. 37 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:13,680 Speaker 1: I Actually I love that you're talking about being at 38 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 1: your mom's because part of what I love to do 39 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 1: with people on the show is like take a big 40 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 1: rewind because everybody knows you as you are as this 41 00:02:23,919 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 1: adult woman, this you know, successful actor, they know you 42 00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: from TV. But I always like to rewind with people 43 00:02:31,320 --> 00:02:35,520 Speaker 1: and see if from this vantage point, now, if you 44 00:02:35,600 --> 00:02:38,800 Speaker 1: look at your history and like, if you were to 45 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:43,760 Speaker 1: observe yourself at eight or nine years old, would you 46 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 1: recognize Tori as a child, Like, do you see a 47 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:49,800 Speaker 1: through line in your personality or performing or were you 48 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:52,880 Speaker 1: a totally different kid I have. 49 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 2: It's funny because I've questioned that before, and luckily for me, 50 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,919 Speaker 2: I've been journaling my whole life. I recently found journals 51 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:05,600 Speaker 2: from when I was like six and seven, and I'm 52 00:03:05,639 --> 00:03:09,919 Speaker 2: the same. It also was a little disconcerting. I was like, 53 00:03:10,320 --> 00:03:13,320 Speaker 2: how am I still questioning all the things that I'm 54 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:14,280 Speaker 2: questioning now? 55 00:03:14,919 --> 00:03:16,640 Speaker 3: Then? Like, why have I not? 56 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:16,920 Speaker 2: You know? 57 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:20,120 Speaker 3: I feel like am I lacking my evolution a little bit? 58 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 3: Because what? So? 59 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 2: Yeah? Obviously, jan, but I loved you know, I loved 60 00:03:25,919 --> 00:03:29,120 Speaker 2: musical theater. Then I love big voices. Then I still 61 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:32,639 Speaker 2: love big voices. I'm very dramatic in that way, always 62 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 2: have been. So yeah, she hasn't changed that much. 63 00:03:36,440 --> 00:03:37,320 Speaker 1: Oh, I love that. 64 00:03:37,680 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 3: I guess. 65 00:03:38,120 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: I think it's sort of cool if you consider that 66 00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 1: as an adult you're asking questions that are similar to 67 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,960 Speaker 1: the ones you were asking as a kid. Maybe that 68 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 1: just means you were a really wise kid, you know, Yeah. 69 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 3: I mean something there for sure. Yeah, I mean yeah, 70 00:03:56,680 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 3: it's interesting. It's like I was questioning life. 71 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 2: I was really into spirituality, but I didn't understand it. 72 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:04,960 Speaker 3: So to me, it like came in different. 73 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:09,240 Speaker 2: Waves of Ouiji board and then angels and Greek mythology, 74 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 2: and I didn't understand what anything was. But I was 75 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,720 Speaker 2: asking very similar questions. It's so weird. 76 00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 1: Are you asking questions about spirituality now. 77 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 3: I mean all the time. 78 00:04:20,320 --> 00:04:24,400 Speaker 2: Every day, I feel like to once because I feel 79 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:27,240 Speaker 2: like I love to dabble in everything, So I'm always 80 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:31,160 Speaker 2: I love reading different books about different things, and you know, 81 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:35,839 Speaker 2: different forms of expression of spirituality and different healing. 82 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:37,279 Speaker 3: Methods and all that stuff. 83 00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:40,120 Speaker 2: And I'm constantly you know, I just I really believe 84 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:43,479 Speaker 2: that anything is possible and nothing's possible, so might as 85 00:04:43,520 --> 00:04:46,200 Speaker 2: well have fun. Like that's like what I always go 86 00:04:46,360 --> 00:04:50,120 Speaker 2: back to. But yeah, I never set on just one 87 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 2: thing when it comes to my spiritual journey. 88 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:55,320 Speaker 3: Do you know what I mean. It's it's colorful, it's 89 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,240 Speaker 3: a rainbow, it's constantly evolving. 90 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel that way too, And I think for 91 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,520 Speaker 1: me again, it's like, maybe it's everything, maybe it's nothing. 92 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:08,880 Speaker 1: I can ask the question of myself and think, well, 93 00:05:08,880 --> 00:05:11,800 Speaker 1: maybe it's because I grew up in such a mixed 94 00:05:11,839 --> 00:05:15,279 Speaker 1: bag family, and so I wanted to understand what everyone 95 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,440 Speaker 1: in my family believed, which was all different, and then 96 00:05:17,480 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: I wanted to understand what other families believed. And for me, 97 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,840 Speaker 1: it's like pulling on the thread in a way makes 98 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: me realize everyone essentially believes the same thing, even though 99 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: there are so many different versions of that thing to 100 00:05:31,160 --> 00:05:34,000 Speaker 1: believe in, and I sort of love that. I love 101 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: that there's so many options, and in a way, I 102 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:41,039 Speaker 1: think it helps me feel like I don't need to win, 103 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:43,080 Speaker 1: and I don't need to know who's right. But I 104 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,640 Speaker 1: do think it's kind of special that humans are, that 105 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:48,600 Speaker 1: we're looking for something a little bit bigger, that we're 106 00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,240 Speaker 1: looking for some sort of a purpose. And I just 107 00:05:51,279 --> 00:05:54,800 Speaker 1: always come back to like maybe we're all fascinated about 108 00:05:54,839 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 1: spirituality or religion, because really what we're fascinated about is 109 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:00,680 Speaker 1: each other, and like that's where we make our communities. 110 00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 3: Totally, I do, I totally agree with that. I do 111 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,760 Speaker 3: feel like everyone's. 112 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,960 Speaker 2: Constantly looking for that something bigger or looking for a 113 00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 2: way to be tethered, whether they know it or not. 114 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 3: Right, it's like, you know, I do believe. 115 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,800 Speaker 2: That we are all souls and we do connect through 116 00:06:17,800 --> 00:06:20,520 Speaker 2: that soul connection, and so you know, I did. I 117 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 2: have heard you know, and I love this book of 118 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 2: Course and Miracles, and they talk about how being in 119 00:06:25,640 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 2: individual bodies is a very human experience and something that 120 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,800 Speaker 2: our souls are not really meant to do. So we 121 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,240 Speaker 2: are always looking for that connection because being so individual 122 00:06:35,480 --> 00:06:37,359 Speaker 2: is like an alien experience. 123 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 1: Yeah. 124 00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:41,560 Speaker 3: Yeah, I always found that pretty casculating. 125 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,960 Speaker 1: It's actually kind of cool too, because it makes me 126 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,840 Speaker 1: think of something else about your childhood, because I know 127 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,799 Speaker 1: when you were growing up your dad was a drummer 128 00:06:49,800 --> 00:06:54,400 Speaker 1: for Billy Joel. Yeah, And when I think about artists 129 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 1: of that sort of size and scope, and like, what 130 00:06:56,839 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 1: it's like to be in an arena tour, right, Like 131 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,000 Speaker 1: it is a spiritual experience when you get that many 132 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 1: people in a room and everyone is like singing to 133 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 1: the same songs and dancing to the same music. I 134 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:12,240 Speaker 1: remember hearing Regina Specter a couple of years ago talking 135 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: about what it was like to play big festivals, and 136 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,680 Speaker 1: she said, you know, when you play a festival, it's 137 00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:18,920 Speaker 1: the only time you get one hundred thousand people together 138 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: for love instead of for war. 139 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh my god, I just give 140 00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 3: me a chill. Right, I've never. 141 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: Thought about it that way, was it. I almost wonder 142 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:33,960 Speaker 1: if growing up like on tour and around music of 143 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,840 Speaker 1: that level, Like, I wonder if that made you really 144 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: spiritually curious too. 145 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:41,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I never thought of it that way, 146 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 3: but it's so true. 147 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 2: It's the one time, you get everybody who has totally 148 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:47,000 Speaker 2: different opinions there for the same reason. 149 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 3: That's really cool. 150 00:07:48,160 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 2: Now, I don't know, I mean I do think that, 151 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:55,360 Speaker 2: you know, I grew up going to church with my mother. 152 00:07:56,760 --> 00:07:59,040 Speaker 2: I grew up in the rock and roll industry with 153 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,360 Speaker 2: my mother and my friend. So it was like a 154 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,200 Speaker 2: mixed bag of so much stuff, so many opinions, so 155 00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,040 Speaker 2: many different people. And so I think from a very 156 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:13,160 Speaker 2: young age I did realize like, oh, we're all just 157 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:14,480 Speaker 2: humans trying to figure it out. 158 00:08:14,840 --> 00:08:16,040 Speaker 3: Nobody hasn't figured it. 159 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,840 Speaker 2: Out, and at the end of the day, we all 160 00:08:17,880 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 2: just want love, you know, and and so you know, 161 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 2: no matter who it was. And so I do think 162 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:27,120 Speaker 2: getting to grow up in that environment, meeting so many 163 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,480 Speaker 2: different people definitely had its impact on my view. 164 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,200 Speaker 3: It also helped me when I got into this business 165 00:08:33,200 --> 00:08:35,400 Speaker 3: because I remember, especially when I first started. 166 00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:37,320 Speaker 2: You meet all these people, and you know, you're on 167 00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:40,520 Speaker 2: these like silly shows or whatever. You get these like 168 00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:43,920 Speaker 2: a big attitudes, which I know you've dealt with before, 169 00:08:44,240 --> 00:08:46,480 Speaker 2: and it's like, I'm sorry. 170 00:08:46,360 --> 00:08:50,319 Speaker 3: What some of the like, you know, most I caught like. 171 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,920 Speaker 2: Stevie Nicks, for God's sake, and she doesn't act like this, 172 00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,640 Speaker 2: Like then what are we doing here? So it gave 173 00:08:55,640 --> 00:08:59,160 Speaker 2: me that perspective of like we are just people, We're 174 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:02,439 Speaker 2: just fun, Like what is the act? 175 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 3: Get down and match. 176 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like if you're lucky enough to get to 177 00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:10,520 Speaker 1: do this work, you should you should remember how sort 178 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: of silly it is. Like it's a big deal and 179 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: it's also not it's both. 180 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, was it totally. 181 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 1: When you started working, because I know, you know, you 182 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: started modeling and then you started acting. Did you did 183 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:24,920 Speaker 1: you always know that you wanted to be an actor? 184 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,440 Speaker 1: Was there like a motivation there for you? 185 00:09:29,480 --> 00:09:29,560 Speaker 3: No? 186 00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 2: So I grew up playing violin since I was six, 187 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:35,880 Speaker 2: and I used to travel when I was high school overseas. 188 00:09:35,920 --> 00:09:38,520 Speaker 2: I played in a big orchestra in Florida. I always 189 00:09:38,559 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 2: thought that was going to be my past. So if 190 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:46,000 Speaker 2: I did enjoy performing, But then I kind of like 191 00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:49,559 Speaker 2: fell into an acting class because I started modeling and 192 00:09:49,840 --> 00:09:52,360 Speaker 2: I didn't like it and I was very shy, and 193 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:54,520 Speaker 2: so the photographer told my mom, she was like, you 194 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 2: should put her in an acting class to kind of 195 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 2: open her up. 196 00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,120 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh, this is what I like, 197 00:09:59,280 --> 00:09:59,720 Speaker 3: not that. 198 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,400 Speaker 2: And then I remember my dad sitting me down in 199 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,880 Speaker 2: my bedroom and he was like, look, I see where 200 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:10,439 Speaker 2: you want to go to LA for acting after high school. 201 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 2: And I think that's great. He's like, I went on 202 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,719 Speaker 2: my first tour when I was eighteen. I feel like 203 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 2: I'm passing the baton. 204 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 3: Like go ahead, he was. 205 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,640 Speaker 2: Like, but I feel like I need to choose. He's like, 206 00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,400 Speaker 2: try to be great at what you do. 207 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:24,120 Speaker 3: Like I see you. 208 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 2: Dabbling in so many different things, and he's like, you know, 209 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:29,600 Speaker 2: if violence is going to be the main focus, make 210 00:10:29,640 --> 00:10:29,800 Speaker 2: it that. 211 00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 3: If acting is going to be the main focus, make 212 00:10:31,679 --> 00:10:31,880 Speaker 3: it that. 213 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 2: And it's so kind of interesting because I really took 214 00:10:35,080 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 2: that to heart for so long, and there's kind of 215 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:41,720 Speaker 2: two parts of that. I was so appreciative because my 216 00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 2: dad taught me work ethic. My dad lives, sleeps, eats, drums. 217 00:10:45,880 --> 00:10:49,280 Speaker 2: He is a drummer. He would die without music like 218 00:10:49,520 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 2: I always do. It was like music and then us 219 00:10:51,679 --> 00:10:55,760 Speaker 2: like I did that, man is music? May am not 220 00:10:55,840 --> 00:10:58,640 Speaker 2: that way. There is not one thing that has totally 221 00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:01,839 Speaker 2: captured me. And that wait, I love dabbling, I really do. 222 00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,040 Speaker 2: I love writing, I love acting, I love music. I 223 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:05,640 Speaker 2: love this one day, I love this one day, I 224 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:08,920 Speaker 2: love that And I always felt a little insignificant because 225 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:11,800 Speaker 2: of that for a while, and then I had to 226 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 2: learn that, Okay, just because my dad is a master 227 00:11:14,640 --> 00:11:15,800 Speaker 2: of one doesn't. 228 00:11:15,559 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 3: Mean I can't be a jack of all trades. Like 229 00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 3: I had to. 230 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 2: Learn that in my own way that I had this 231 00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 2: enormous pressure of my dad saying, be a master at something, 232 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:26,840 Speaker 2: don't be a jack of all trades. 233 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh god, what does that mean? 234 00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 3: So that was like a really cool gift. 235 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:34,160 Speaker 2: And then you know, I had somebody say to me, 236 00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:36,080 Speaker 2: They're like, well, if everybody was a master, we would 237 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:36,959 Speaker 2: have no masters. 238 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,440 Speaker 3: And I was like, oh. 239 00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:40,840 Speaker 2: My god, yes, I am the jack of all trades. 240 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:44,440 Speaker 2: I am not the master of one craft. So it 241 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:46,520 Speaker 2: was really cool to know that about yourself because I 242 00:11:46,520 --> 00:11:48,480 Speaker 2: think we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to 243 00:11:48,520 --> 00:11:51,680 Speaker 2: be so great at that one thing, and not everybody's 244 00:11:51,679 --> 00:11:52,240 Speaker 2: built for that. 245 00:11:52,320 --> 00:11:55,880 Speaker 1: You know, I totally agree, And I think especially when 246 00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: you're a deeply curious person and really as as part 247 00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,040 Speaker 1: of what makes us interesting is that we go out 248 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:05,640 Speaker 1: and we experience all these different things and then we 249 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:08,559 Speaker 1: come back and tell a story about them. And I think, 250 00:12:09,520 --> 00:12:12,440 Speaker 1: you know, if you're just so focused on the one 251 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:14,840 Speaker 1: thing I don't know, I would think as an actor 252 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,720 Speaker 1: it would actually sort of narrow your ability to do 253 00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:18,200 Speaker 1: your job. 254 00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's really interesting, And I never thought of it 255 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,360 Speaker 2: that way either, because yeah, we do have to We 256 00:12:22,400 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 2: have to learn so many different crafts within our craft 257 00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:27,840 Speaker 2: to honor whatever character we're playing at the time. 258 00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, it's so different every time. And if you 259 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:35,640 Speaker 1: think about like even the two universes we've worked in together, 260 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,400 Speaker 1: from One Tree Hill to the you know, Chicago universe, 261 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,080 Speaker 1: Like who could be more different than Brooke Davis and 262 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: Nanny Carey to like me playing a cop and you 263 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:46,439 Speaker 1: playing a doctor, Like we literally have to learn such 264 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: different skill sets kind of crazy. And you, I mean, 265 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,000 Speaker 1: what what a wild experience too when you think about 266 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:58,559 Speaker 1: like version one of us, because not only did you 267 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,400 Speaker 1: come in and I know we talked about this a 268 00:13:00,400 --> 00:13:02,720 Speaker 1: lot on Drama Queens, but I'll ask you some questions 269 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 1: about it here today anyway, But I think about like 270 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:10,160 Speaker 1: not only you playing Nanny Carey on our show on 271 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:12,640 Speaker 1: One Tree Hill, but you were on One Tree Hill 272 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:19,200 Speaker 1: and Pretty Little Liars, and and you were on Vampire Diaries. 273 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:23,480 Speaker 1: So it's like three of our sort of most iconic 274 00:13:23,679 --> 00:13:29,839 Speaker 1: shows of this like decade span in you know, teen 275 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 1: focused television. Was that wild for you? Did you were 276 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,160 Speaker 1: you just like, oh, there's something I meant to do 277 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:42,240 Speaker 1: in this universe? Like what was that experience? Like doing 278 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: three big pillar properties like that? 279 00:13:45,559 --> 00:13:47,520 Speaker 2: It was pretty trippy because at one point I was 280 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,559 Speaker 2: doing all three at the same no, no, no, I was 281 00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 2: just doing vamparaties and pretty lit liars at the same time, 282 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:54,480 Speaker 2: I think, But yeah, they came right after one. It 283 00:13:54,559 --> 00:13:58,760 Speaker 2: was it was pretty trippy because it felt it like 284 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,720 Speaker 2: I was like, second, like I grew up watching shows 285 00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 2: like this, and now like the three that are really 286 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 2: here right now, like I'm doing a thing on all times. 287 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 3: Like it was. 288 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:12,600 Speaker 2: It was a pretty It still is a pretty experience, 289 00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,320 Speaker 2: I have to be honest, because you have like you know, 290 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:16,760 Speaker 2: when somebody comes up they're like, oh you're you were also, 291 00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:19,720 Speaker 2: Oh my god, you're also, And I'm like, yeah, that's 292 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,520 Speaker 2: like not to like be like, oh, good job. 293 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,840 Speaker 3: But it was like, you know, it's just really all luck. 294 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:25,760 Speaker 2: We auditioned for how many things a year and we 295 00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,680 Speaker 2: get like maybe one two, So it is weird that 296 00:14:29,720 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 2: they all happen to be in that same kind of 297 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:36,760 Speaker 2: teen pop culture environment. But yeah, I really I'm so 298 00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,760 Speaker 2: grateful for that because there's no one that controls this 299 00:14:39,840 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 2: world more than teens, especially teen girls. And so I 300 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,520 Speaker 2: always say like, I feel like I am might I 301 00:14:45,600 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 2: have my career because of teen girls. 302 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:50,360 Speaker 1: Really we love them. That's so neat. 303 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:51,120 Speaker 3: We love them. 304 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,480 Speaker 1: We'll be back in just a minute, but here's a 305 00:14:54,520 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 1: word from our sponsors. So you did share with us 306 00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 1: on the other show about this, but for our work 307 00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:09,320 Speaker 1: in progress listeners, what felt really important to you when 308 00:15:09,360 --> 00:15:12,480 Speaker 1: you were playing Nanny Carey Because all of us brought 309 00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: up to you when we discussed this at first that 310 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 1: it was such a like such a wild role, and 311 00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:25,920 Speaker 1: you brought that, you know, horror movie level fear to 312 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,240 Speaker 1: all of us through this person. But you also really 313 00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 1: humanized her. You didn't just play her as a villain, 314 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 1: And and was it hard to kind of wrap your 315 00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 1: head around becoming that person every day when you had 316 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: to go to work. 317 00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:44,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, it was interesting because I think that 318 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:47,760 Speaker 2: one of the things that's important about doing. 319 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 3: A characters you have to find stuppy for your character. 320 00:15:51,760 --> 00:15:55,400 Speaker 2: And when I put together and learned that she had 321 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,840 Speaker 2: lost a son of her own a child of her own, 322 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:01,800 Speaker 2: and I thought to myself, like, I can't imagine what 323 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:05,240 Speaker 2: that must do to the psyche. And I allowed that 324 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:09,680 Speaker 2: loss and grief to drive her to basically break, you know, 325 00:16:10,120 --> 00:16:13,360 Speaker 2: her sanity and do all the things that she did. 326 00:16:13,760 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 3: Then after that it was like it not that it 327 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:17,840 Speaker 3: was easy to do. 328 00:16:17,760 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 2: Those things, but I had such a justification for it, 329 00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 2: and I felt so bad for her, do you know 330 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 2: what I mean, Like it felt so bad for her. 331 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 2: And then it was so it was so easy and 332 00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:30,480 Speaker 2: so fun to show up for because I remember it 333 00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,280 Speaker 2: was the first time in my career where I was like, 334 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,280 Speaker 2: oh my god, like I'm not just like playing the 335 00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:37,440 Speaker 2: girlfriend or the what you know, Like I get to 336 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:41,440 Speaker 2: like emotionally show up and do things like somebody's allowing 337 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,720 Speaker 2: me to do things. 338 00:16:42,760 --> 00:16:45,240 Speaker 3: So it was like that was beyond thrilling. 339 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:46,480 Speaker 2: Yeah. 340 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:50,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it is fun to play someone who's crazy, 341 00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,800 Speaker 1: like to get to lean in and just do wild 342 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:57,479 Speaker 1: things out of the ordinary because an actor is so exciting. 343 00:16:57,760 --> 00:16:59,760 Speaker 3: Totally. I always say it for free therapy. 344 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, did you enjoy it? Like were there 345 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:04,560 Speaker 1: days where you just thought, Oh, I'm really going to 346 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:06,720 Speaker 1: lean into this and make this so wild and just 347 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 1: have a ball. 348 00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:11,360 Speaker 3: Totally. I enjoyed it so much. 349 00:17:11,359 --> 00:17:14,720 Speaker 2: I mean, obviously, in the moment, I was so like, oh, 350 00:17:14,920 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 2: intense about wanting to make sure that I was like 351 00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:18,640 Speaker 2: gonna nail it. 352 00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:22,879 Speaker 3: But when you leave and you know that feeling of exhaustion. 353 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,720 Speaker 2: After putting yourself out there emotionally and you just feel depleted, 354 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:28,080 Speaker 2: But it's like the best feeling in the world as 355 00:17:28,119 --> 00:17:30,199 Speaker 2: an actor when you go home with that level of 356 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:33,480 Speaker 2: exhaustion knowing I did it, you know what I mean. 357 00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:35,679 Speaker 3: I did in my job the way I wanted to 358 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:36,040 Speaker 3: do it. 359 00:17:36,160 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 2: Because there's nothing worse than when you come home from 360 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:40,200 Speaker 2: a scene and you're like, oh, I couldn't get there. 361 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:42,439 Speaker 3: I didn't do it the way I wanted to. Dang it. 362 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:43,560 Speaker 3: I wish I had you a hand. 363 00:17:44,119 --> 00:17:46,640 Speaker 2: But when you walk away and you're like, ah, yes, 364 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,960 Speaker 2: no matter what anybody says about it, I know I 365 00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:52,200 Speaker 2: walked away from that scene feeling like I nailed it, 366 00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,159 Speaker 2: so screw what everybody else says, right, And I did 367 00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:59,119 Speaker 2: feel that way a lot in that season of the 368 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:03,399 Speaker 2: show when she was the crazy nanny, So that always 369 00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:04,359 Speaker 2: felt so good. 370 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:08,840 Speaker 1: That's really exciting. Was it an interesting thing? To go 371 00:18:08,960 --> 00:18:12,240 Speaker 1: from playing a villain on our show and then going 372 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:15,840 Speaker 1: into Pretty Little Liars and playing another character that garnered 373 00:18:15,880 --> 00:18:18,919 Speaker 1: a lot of, like very strong reaction from the fans. 374 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,520 Speaker 1: I mean, how did you kind of process that? Because 375 00:18:22,560 --> 00:18:25,399 Speaker 1: I know, you know, I know for Paul, for example, 376 00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:28,159 Speaker 1: on One Tree Hill playing Dan Scott, he got a 377 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:32,359 Speaker 1: lot of really intense feedback from fans. And you know, 378 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:34,720 Speaker 1: as we were on One Tree Hill and then you 379 00:18:34,800 --> 00:18:37,680 Speaker 1: went onto Pretty Little Liars, social media had launched. Was 380 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,760 Speaker 1: it hard to kind of be on the receiving end 381 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:45,080 Speaker 1: of online you know, criticism and anger at your characters 382 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,760 Speaker 1: or or did you always have a good relationship to 383 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,080 Speaker 1: being able to separate the two? 384 00:18:50,080 --> 00:18:54,359 Speaker 2: He was. It was bizarre because people were very angry, 385 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,959 Speaker 2: especially with One Tree Hill Pretty Lot Liars. 386 00:18:58,160 --> 00:19:03,000 Speaker 3: My character started off very questionable and very. 387 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:07,520 Speaker 2: Like she was not her homents of being likable, but 388 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,280 Speaker 2: was unlikable kind of from the beginning, so that was 389 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,720 Speaker 2: kind of who she was. But with One Tree Hill, like, 390 00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:17,280 Speaker 2: people were mad because they loved joy and game together 391 00:19:17,359 --> 00:19:18,920 Speaker 2: and it was like, how dare. 392 00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 3: You come in here? And I was like, okay, it's 393 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:22,840 Speaker 3: not real, it's not real. 394 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,080 Speaker 2: So it was exciting because you always feel like, oh, 395 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 2: I must be doing something right if people are just upset. 396 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:31,119 Speaker 2: I did get nervous sometimes when people will come to 397 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:34,679 Speaker 2: me in public and like I hate you, and you're like, okay, 398 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:38,239 Speaker 2: that was weird. I always thought it was funny when 399 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:41,000 Speaker 2: I would actually meet friends of friends and they'd be like, 400 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:42,160 Speaker 2: oh my god, you're so nice. 401 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,120 Speaker 3: It wasn't expecting you to be this nice. 402 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:47,720 Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god, that's bizarre that somebody 403 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 2: has like a preconceived notion that I might be a 404 00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,639 Speaker 2: horrible bitch. You know what I mean. You're like, wait what, 405 00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:58,479 Speaker 2: But you know, I find obviously, obviously more and more 406 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:02,359 Speaker 2: difficult is when and when those shows become popular and 407 00:20:02,520 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 2: then rather than just thinking about your character and getting 408 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 2: out of your character, people start to do sing things 409 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:13,200 Speaker 2: about you like you outside your character, and when those 410 00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,359 Speaker 2: attacks come in, that's a whole different tough skin. I'm 411 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:20,640 Speaker 2: sure you know that you have to build, and that's 412 00:20:22,119 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 2: the most challenging part out. 413 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:25,360 Speaker 3: Of all this, I think for sure. 414 00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:30,880 Speaker 1: I totally agree, and especially because as humans we already 415 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,560 Speaker 1: carry self doubt. We are so worried about, you know, 416 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:39,280 Speaker 1: ever hurting other people. All of these things that are 417 00:20:39,440 --> 00:20:42,560 Speaker 1: just what it's like to exist in the world, and 418 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:47,000 Speaker 1: then you're trying to bolster yourself, but you're on the 419 00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:51,000 Speaker 1: receiving end of the opinions of millions of people. And 420 00:20:51,080 --> 00:20:55,520 Speaker 1: I think people forget that that, like they people assume that, 421 00:20:55,760 --> 00:20:58,720 Speaker 1: you know, quote unquote, fame builds you up, but actually 422 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,639 Speaker 1: what it does is it just why's the sort of 423 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,879 Speaker 1: firing squad that you face every day in addition to 424 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 1: the firing squad of your own mind? And so it 425 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:11,000 Speaker 1: can be really hard, I think, to figure out how 426 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:15,879 Speaker 1: to hold onto your sense of self and not allow, 427 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 1: you know, the cacophony of other people's critiques to penetrate you, 428 00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 1: especially when they're not based in fact. You know they're 429 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,200 Speaker 1: not true, and you're like, wait, what's happening to me? 430 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:30,440 Speaker 2: Right when you see these outlandish rumors about yourself or something, 431 00:21:30,480 --> 00:21:33,160 Speaker 2: and you're like, where does this even get concocted? 432 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,639 Speaker 3: From? Who at the time to create this? 433 00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,080 Speaker 2: And then you want to say you want to right 434 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 2: the wrongs, and you're like, oh my gosh, I would 435 00:21:41,200 --> 00:21:42,920 Speaker 2: be wasting so much energy. 436 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:44,359 Speaker 1: You just can't litigate it. 437 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:47,360 Speaker 3: You can't, you can't. But I thought to me, because 438 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:49,280 Speaker 3: I was kind of freaked out. I was like, you know, 439 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,159 Speaker 3: thought is energy, right, So. 440 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:56,879 Speaker 2: If I have all these people directing energy towards me 441 00:21:57,040 --> 00:21:59,280 Speaker 2: every day, that have to be hitting me in some way. 442 00:21:59,560 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 2: So my really really good friends, she was like, Okay, 443 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:05,439 Speaker 2: I want you to sit at night. She's like, create 444 00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,520 Speaker 2: like a hologram version of yourself and connect that to 445 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,760 Speaker 2: the outside world and that's where the comments will be 446 00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:12,280 Speaker 2: directed to. 447 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:14,920 Speaker 3: So guess what, you guys, You're not hitting me anymore. 448 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:16,280 Speaker 3: You're hitting my holograms. 449 00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:23,440 Speaker 1: That's so smart though, to create a sort of a 450 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,720 Speaker 1: practice of separating yourself from that. 451 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, you have to separate it, and then physically separating 452 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:34,600 Speaker 2: myself clearly from being in Michigan with a huge physical separation, 453 00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 2: which is so lovely. 454 00:22:36,119 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean that's pretty incredible. It's interesting because you know, 455 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 1: to your point, that kind of energy and the input 456 00:22:44,640 --> 00:22:47,120 Speaker 1: of all these people, I think can make it really 457 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:50,120 Speaker 1: hard to go out and you know, stand in public spaces. 458 00:22:50,280 --> 00:22:52,879 Speaker 1: And something that you and I have in common is 459 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 1: like we are here to serve. We're outspoken women. We 460 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:59,679 Speaker 1: try to do as much good with our platforms as 461 00:22:59,720 --> 00:23:02,879 Speaker 1: we can and show up as advocates and activists and 462 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:05,360 Speaker 1: that can put a target on your back, and then 463 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:08,920 Speaker 1: you know, we're in this crazy upside down world that 464 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:13,520 Speaker 1: we're in now, where you know, decades generations of progress 465 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 1: for people and for women in particular are being rolled back. 466 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:22,240 Speaker 1: And I was so grateful After Dobbs was overturned, you 467 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:27,360 Speaker 1: publicly shared a story that you've shared, you know, privately 468 00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: in your community, but you talked about having had abortion 469 00:23:31,480 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 1: care at twenty one and having the self awareness to 470 00:23:37,400 --> 00:23:41,320 Speaker 1: know that you really have to shield yourself from negativity 471 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 1: in these big public spaces. How did you decide to 472 00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:49,399 Speaker 1: sort of leap over that hurdle knowing that you were 473 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:52,760 Speaker 1: absolutely going to make women feel less alone, but also 474 00:23:52,920 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: knowing that that was going to expose like you know, 475 00:23:56,800 --> 00:24:02,399 Speaker 1: your personal life and your trials and tribulations to strangers. Like, 476 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:05,439 Speaker 1: how do you decide when to kind of bear your 477 00:24:05,560 --> 00:24:09,280 Speaker 1: soul for the potential to help other people? 478 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:11,000 Speaker 3: Yeah? 479 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:11,600 Speaker 2: I don't know. 480 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:16,160 Speaker 3: For me, it's just like it becomes an all encompassing feeling, right, 481 00:24:16,440 --> 00:24:20,159 Speaker 3: Like I respect, Like some people get so hard on 482 00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,840 Speaker 3: certain people for not using their voices, especially certain actors 483 00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:28,359 Speaker 3: or musical celebrities, And I always think to myself, I'm like, 484 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 3: how can you judge that like it is not. It 485 00:24:31,359 --> 00:24:33,960 Speaker 3: is very scary to put yourself out there, your opinions 486 00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,280 Speaker 3: out there. 487 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:37,200 Speaker 2: People are scary, do you know what I'd tell People 488 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:39,920 Speaker 2: are scary, and some people want to protect themselves and 489 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,200 Speaker 2: their families, and they have every right to do that. 490 00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 2: And so but for me, like I don't have that feeling. 491 00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:52,440 Speaker 2: I feel like it's more important for me to get 492 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:56,360 Speaker 2: that out there, to make other women feel like they're 493 00:24:56,440 --> 00:24:58,600 Speaker 2: less alone, to get this story out there for the 494 00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,320 Speaker 2: greater good. And I'm willing to take that risk, and 495 00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:03,560 Speaker 2: I respect those who are not willing to take that risk, 496 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 2: you know. And so that's kind of how it happened. 497 00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 2: You know, I had a miss I had an abortion 498 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:12,480 Speaker 2: at twenty one, a miscarriage at twenty nine, and I 499 00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,000 Speaker 2: had to take the abortion pills at twenty. 500 00:25:14,840 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 3: Nine and I had an abortion. 501 00:25:16,800 --> 00:25:20,879 Speaker 2: So either way without those like with my miscarriage, I 502 00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:22,639 Speaker 2: would have died if that stuff would it, if that 503 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,399 Speaker 2: if that would have stayed inside of me. 504 00:25:24,920 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 3: And so people don't understand that. 505 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,000 Speaker 2: It's such a broader conversation and so for me, I 506 00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 2: would like I have to share that because it is 507 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:35,200 Speaker 2: so scary where we're getting to it is so so 508 00:25:35,600 --> 00:25:39,520 Speaker 2: scary and it's unfathomable as well. And so but I 509 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 2: will say my mother hates it. She loved it because 510 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 2: she she loves who I am and what I stand for. 511 00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,720 Speaker 3: But she's like, people are so scary. I hate that you. 512 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 2: Oh my, I'm like, mom, just trust everything's okay, you know, 513 00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:57,880 Speaker 2: But yeah, it's I think. 514 00:25:58,080 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 3: I'm sure your parents feel the same way. Your family 515 00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:05,520 Speaker 3: member sometimes. Yeah, yeah, for sure. I think it's scarier 516 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,200 Speaker 3: for the people who love us than it is for us. Sometimes, 517 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:09,280 Speaker 3: I agree. 518 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:11,639 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a really that's a really good way to 519 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,080 Speaker 1: put it, because for me it does. I think in 520 00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 1: the way you're discussing it, it feels like an inevitability, 521 00:26:18,320 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 1: Like showing up and talking about these things is something 522 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,920 Speaker 1: I feel called to do, like I have to do it. 523 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:28,040 Speaker 1: And yeah, it's terrifying for the people that love me 524 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:32,280 Speaker 1: because they know what comes with that. Yeah, And I think, 525 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:35,680 Speaker 1: but I think it's all connected, right, Like people who 526 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 1: want to deny that reproductive care is healthcare, Like you're 527 00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:43,080 Speaker 1: talking about your experience having a miscarriage, which so many 528 00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,320 Speaker 1: of the women in our community have been through, so 529 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:48,239 Speaker 1: many of us have have dealt with you know, all 530 00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 1: the trials and tribulations of fertility, and it is unbearably complex, 531 00:26:55,119 --> 00:26:57,840 Speaker 1: and people don't want to acknowledge that what we're talking 532 00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,679 Speaker 1: about is healthcare. What we're talking about our medical procedures. 533 00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 1: And and I think to your point, when you can 534 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:09,359 Speaker 1: just lay the facts bear, you can remind people of 535 00:27:09,480 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 1: what reality looks like. And you know, we all saw 536 00:27:13,160 --> 00:27:17,280 Speaker 1: a couple of weeks ago when Alabama banned IVF, and 537 00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 1: then there were doctors that were like, well, we're doing 538 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:20,520 Speaker 1: this so people can have more babies. 539 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:20,960 Speaker 3: And it's like. 540 00:27:21,280 --> 00:27:24,600 Speaker 1: IVF is how people have babies, Like you don't even 541 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:28,200 Speaker 1: know what the procedure is, and you're making laws about it. Like, 542 00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:32,040 Speaker 1: maybe let's leave this stuff up to the doctors, you know, 543 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,800 Speaker 1: right right, I mean. 544 00:27:33,760 --> 00:27:34,760 Speaker 3: It all falls under two. 545 00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:38,040 Speaker 2: Like I just if they even understood the complexity of 546 00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:43,040 Speaker 2: a female body in general, maybe maybe just a little 547 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:44,639 Speaker 2: bit of this way, could you imagine? 548 00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 3: Could you imagine? 549 00:27:46,480 --> 00:27:51,280 Speaker 1: It is really so wild. But I do think that 550 00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:55,520 Speaker 1: the more we can destigmatize the conversations, the more we 551 00:27:55,600 --> 00:28:00,119 Speaker 1: can have frank discussions about medical procedures and how how 552 00:28:00,240 --> 00:28:03,600 Speaker 1: people plan and choose their families. You know, the more 553 00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,720 Speaker 1: we can also set not only ourselves but all women 554 00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,560 Speaker 1: and people who want to have families up to have 555 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:14,639 Speaker 1: the futures that they want when they are capable of 556 00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,680 Speaker 1: having those things. And that that feels like an important 557 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,240 Speaker 1: part of the conversation too. 558 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:24,080 Speaker 3: Yes, that's very big and important part of the conversation. Yeah. 559 00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,879 Speaker 1: I would imagine you know, as we said, the internet 560 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,119 Speaker 1: can be loud and toxic. But I would also imagine 561 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 1: that there were a lot of people, you know, fans 562 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:36,680 Speaker 1: and friends alike, who were probably so grateful that you 563 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,440 Speaker 1: opened up that conversation in the week of you having 564 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 1: it publicly. It was what was that kind of experience 565 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:45,600 Speaker 1: like for you? 566 00:28:46,720 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 2: That connectivity is I feel like what being a human 567 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:54,440 Speaker 2: being is supposed to feel like certain messages I was 568 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:58,440 Speaker 2: receiving of, I feel less alone, I feel seen. 569 00:28:58,560 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 3: Thank you for saying this. 570 00:28:59,600 --> 00:29:02,840 Speaker 2: And so I had a lot of friends that reached 571 00:29:02,880 --> 00:29:05,360 Speaker 2: out that were like, I don't feel comfortable using my 572 00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:07,920 Speaker 2: voice like this, but this also happened. 573 00:29:07,640 --> 00:29:08,680 Speaker 3: To me, so thank you. 574 00:29:09,160 --> 00:29:11,800 Speaker 2: And it was like, this is what being part of 575 00:29:11,920 --> 00:29:16,360 Speaker 2: a community, being a woman, being collectively women together, you know, 576 00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:24,520 Speaker 2: being human beings together, being female identifying persons together. Yeah, 577 00:29:24,760 --> 00:29:28,520 Speaker 2: and so that makes it all worth it. That turns 578 00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 2: that into that moment of like, I can't not do this, do. 579 00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,360 Speaker 3: You know what I mean? Yeah? 580 00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:38,560 Speaker 1: Does that make you really want to continue to stay 581 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:43,760 Speaker 1: active and involved? And you know, had women's reproductive freedoms 582 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:45,720 Speaker 1: to the long list of all the groups that you 583 00:29:45,840 --> 00:29:47,440 Speaker 1: advocate for already. 584 00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. It is going to be a life 585 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,160 Speaker 3: long fite of mine for sure. 586 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:58,760 Speaker 2: And you know, I hope that the battle we're in 587 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,760 Speaker 2: right now does to take all my life to get 588 00:30:01,800 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 2: out of. But I'm sure other things will pop up 589 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 2: within the female reproductive rights. Female rights, you know's a 590 00:30:07,960 --> 00:30:12,240 Speaker 2: huge category filled with things. Oh but yes, that's so 591 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,960 Speaker 2: so important to me. You know, I have so many 592 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:16,960 Speaker 2: women in my family. It's crazy. 593 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:20,040 Speaker 3: We're we're just cousins alike. 594 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 2: I have like sisters, I have three sisters, a ton 595 00:30:24,120 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 2: of female cousins, so many aunts. My grandma basically raised 596 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:30,600 Speaker 2: all of us, was like a matriarchy of our family. 597 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,040 Speaker 2: And so it's like I just grew up around so 598 00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:37,040 Speaker 2: many females, and I still so many females that it's 599 00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:39,360 Speaker 2: like I can't not do you know what I mean, 600 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 2: It's just it's too important. 601 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:46,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, I totally feel that too. Are there nonprofits or 602 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:51,840 Speaker 1: organizations that you've started working with that you're really inspired by. 603 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I've started working with the National Abortion Foundation NAF 604 00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:01,200 Speaker 2: and AF whom I really love, done a lot of. 605 00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:02,480 Speaker 3: Stuff with planned parenthood. 606 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:07,200 Speaker 2: And then also, I know this isn't you know, reproductive rights, 607 00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 2: but I still work with Safe Bay who that is 608 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 2: so important to me because we go in and we 609 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,800 Speaker 2: talk to high schoolers and even middle schoolers believe it 610 00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:22,280 Speaker 2: or not, about sexual consent and their rights and the 611 00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:26,400 Speaker 2: things that are protecting them in schools that they don't 612 00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:28,480 Speaker 2: even know are protecting them, and how they have to 613 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:31,000 Speaker 2: knowledge themselves because a lot of adults don't even know 614 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:34,000 Speaker 2: this information and getting to them when they're young, and 615 00:31:34,120 --> 00:31:37,320 Speaker 2: I am so inspired by young people these days. They 616 00:31:37,680 --> 00:31:41,880 Speaker 2: have knowledge and courage that I couldn't have even dreamt 617 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,920 Speaker 2: of when I was in high school. Like these kids 618 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:48,800 Speaker 2: they want knowledge and so that to me, like being 619 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,200 Speaker 2: able to connect with the younger generation like that, to 620 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:53,840 Speaker 2: show them their no show them their power, show them 621 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:56,360 Speaker 2: their yeses is so amazing and important to me. 622 00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 3: And that's the word the Safe Bay that does. 623 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 1: That I love really incredible. We'll be back in just 624 00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,960 Speaker 1: a minute after a few words from our favorite sponsors. 625 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:13,840 Speaker 1: Some of the things that have been so inspiring for 626 00:32:14,080 --> 00:32:17,160 Speaker 1: me to learn about when we have conversations like this, 627 00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:20,360 Speaker 1: you know, conversations around consent, conversations around how to have 628 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:25,320 Speaker 1: you know, these discussions with young people, is that the 629 00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:28,800 Speaker 1: more informed they are and the more that they see 630 00:32:28,840 --> 00:32:31,840 Speaker 1: themselves in stories, the more they're also able to identify 631 00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 1: what is happening to them. And you know, it's one 632 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:38,000 Speaker 1: of these big conversations we're having around book banning, right 633 00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:42,760 Speaker 1: is there's groups saying, well, you know, kids shouldn't read 634 00:32:42,920 --> 00:32:45,640 Speaker 1: stories like this, and it's like, well, if kids read 635 00:32:45,720 --> 00:32:49,960 Speaker 1: stories about sexual abuse, if they read stories about consent, 636 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 1: if they read stories about healthy relationships, they can identify 637 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,560 Speaker 1: their experiences in those stories, and actually they're much more 638 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:02,520 Speaker 1: prone to have safe relationships, safe sex, eventually, you know, 639 00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: safe relations with each other. And that that's something that 640 00:33:07,600 --> 00:33:11,280 Speaker 1: I find, to your point, so inspiring about right now, 641 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 1: as we have more research than ever, we know what 642 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:16,560 Speaker 1: works and what doesn't, like, we have all the proven 643 00:33:16,640 --> 00:33:19,840 Speaker 1: metrics at our fingertips, and we can do better for 644 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:21,640 Speaker 1: kids than anybody ever did for us. 645 00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,920 Speaker 2: For sure, absolutely, you know, I nobody gave me this 646 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,520 Speaker 2: information when I was growing up, and I think I 647 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,840 Speaker 2: was I think I was twenty two, maybe. 648 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 3: Even a little bit older. No, no, no, I I 649 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:35,600 Speaker 3: was older. 650 00:33:35,720 --> 00:33:38,520 Speaker 2: I was in my mid twenties and I went to 651 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:43,640 Speaker 2: a play called flot the play with Daphne's unigat, and 652 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 2: I was dumbfounded at the end of the play and 653 00:33:46,360 --> 00:33:48,360 Speaker 2: I looked at her and I was like, I'm in 654 00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:52,760 Speaker 2: my mid twenties and I had no idea that rape 655 00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:56,920 Speaker 2: was anything other than sexual penetration. I didn't know because 656 00:33:57,120 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 2: the girl the guy assaulted her with his hand and 657 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 2: she said she was raped, and I was like, that's rape. 658 00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:06,040 Speaker 2: And I started thinking about experiences I had in high 659 00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:07,840 Speaker 2: school because I didn't know my know and I was 660 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:12,000 Speaker 2: scared to not be liked. And everything crumbled for me 661 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:14,760 Speaker 2: in that moment, and I felt so sad for yourself 662 00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:16,920 Speaker 2: for things that I had gone through because I didn't 663 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,600 Speaker 2: know that I could speak up. 664 00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:22,800 Speaker 3: I didn't know that I could say no. And I 665 00:34:22,960 --> 00:34:24,640 Speaker 3: was watching this plane. I was like, I am a 666 00:34:24,840 --> 00:34:28,080 Speaker 3: grown ass woman who didn't even know what pape was. 667 00:34:28,239 --> 00:34:31,120 Speaker 2: Like that is so and in that moment, I was like, 668 00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:33,040 Speaker 2: there's never going to be a young girl that crosses 669 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:36,120 Speaker 2: my path that doesn't know this information as well. 670 00:34:36,239 --> 00:34:38,400 Speaker 3: It was mind blow because they don't teach us this stuff. 671 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:40,720 Speaker 3: I don't empower us with this stuff. 672 00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,720 Speaker 2: And so I love that that is starting to change 673 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:46,480 Speaker 2: with that generation that is like, we are not accepting 674 00:34:46,520 --> 00:34:52,240 Speaker 2: this anymore. This is not like a boys boys culture anymore. 675 00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,200 Speaker 2: Like no, no, absolutely not. 676 00:34:54,520 --> 00:34:56,080 Speaker 3: And I'm like, no, I meant to that. 677 00:34:56,760 --> 00:35:00,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's really inspiring to see the ship and to 678 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:05,600 Speaker 1: your point, it only comes with knowledge. Yeah, how did 679 00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:07,600 Speaker 1: you find Safe Bay in the first place? 680 00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:11,400 Speaker 2: So I was actually in Chicago, I think it was 681 00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:15,560 Speaker 2: season one of MED and I watched this documentary Audrey 682 00:35:15,640 --> 00:35:18,920 Speaker 2: and Daisy on Netflix. It had just come out, and 683 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:22,680 Speaker 2: I was incensed, like I was on fire after it, 684 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,400 Speaker 2: Like it was so sad for those who don't know. 685 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:29,040 Speaker 2: It's about girls who were sexually assaulted and raped, and 686 00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:35,880 Speaker 2: it centers around for girls and I wouldn't believe the 687 00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:39,640 Speaker 2: protection that the community gave the boys. And oh my god, 688 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:44,080 Speaker 2: there was no justice for these girls. And I looked 689 00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,480 Speaker 2: them up afterwards it was like midnight, and I saw 690 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:50,239 Speaker 2: that they had started at a foundation together. 691 00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,799 Speaker 3: The girls got together. They didn't know each other. 692 00:35:53,840 --> 00:35:56,279 Speaker 2: Before the documentary, they got together and they started Safe 693 00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:59,480 Speaker 2: Bay and I reached out to my policis and I 694 00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:01,360 Speaker 2: was like, please get me in touch with them. I 695 00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:03,680 Speaker 2: need to be in touch with them, and I did, 696 00:36:03,920 --> 00:36:06,719 Speaker 2: and we've been working together ever since. And I just 697 00:36:06,840 --> 00:36:10,560 Speaker 2: think the bravery of these girls is just beyond And 698 00:36:10,800 --> 00:36:13,200 Speaker 2: it's a youth led organization and they all know they're. 699 00:36:13,000 --> 00:36:14,000 Speaker 3: Getting a little bit older. 700 00:36:14,040 --> 00:36:17,560 Speaker 2: They're in their twenties now, and so they keep bringing in, 701 00:36:18,040 --> 00:36:20,680 Speaker 2: you know, younger people to make sure that people. 702 00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,680 Speaker 3: You know, a lot of kids don't want to talk 703 00:36:22,680 --> 00:36:23,760 Speaker 3: to adults about this stuff. 704 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,279 Speaker 2: They want to feel heard, you know, that it's not 705 00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,279 Speaker 2: somebody like, hey, I'm cool too. 706 00:36:28,360 --> 00:36:33,239 Speaker 3: You're like, no, you're getting old. So they're just doing 707 00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:34,120 Speaker 3: it so right. 708 00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,839 Speaker 2: And you know, unfortunately, we did end up losing one 709 00:36:37,920 --> 00:36:38,920 Speaker 2: of the founder's Daisy. 710 00:36:39,480 --> 00:36:41,760 Speaker 3: She ended up taking her life in twenty twenty. 711 00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:45,520 Speaker 2: And I thought that, you know, is another part of 712 00:36:45,560 --> 00:36:48,719 Speaker 2: the story that's so important because sometimes people think even 713 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,560 Speaker 2: when somebody does get justice or when their story is heard, 714 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:55,200 Speaker 2: the healing goes on forever and ever and it's never over, 715 00:36:56,200 --> 00:37:00,799 Speaker 2: and so it's just an ongoing conversation. But yeah, meeting 716 00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:02,960 Speaker 2: these girls and being a part of this organization has 717 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:06,520 Speaker 2: been just one of the highlights of my adult. 718 00:37:06,239 --> 00:37:06,919 Speaker 3: Life for sure. 719 00:37:07,719 --> 00:37:10,279 Speaker 2: And one thing we really stress in Safe Bay men 720 00:37:10,480 --> 00:37:12,640 Speaker 2: are such a huge part of the conversation and I 721 00:37:12,719 --> 00:37:14,400 Speaker 2: love mess Like I know it sounds like when I 722 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:17,480 Speaker 2: talk all the time that I'm like, grow the guy 723 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:20,399 Speaker 2: like this is, but no, we need men right now. 724 00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:22,680 Speaker 3: We need them. I love them. They need to make 725 00:37:22,719 --> 00:37:23,400 Speaker 3: for a conversation. 726 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:25,880 Speaker 2: And I'm always impressed with those boys that show up 727 00:37:25,880 --> 00:37:27,960 Speaker 2: at the high school cafeteria and want to learn about 728 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:28,359 Speaker 2: Safe By. 729 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,759 Speaker 3: I want to support. I'm like, yep, amazing. 730 00:37:31,360 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 1: Well, because that's the thing, right is, systems are what 731 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:40,439 Speaker 1: hurt people, and the system of patriarchy that makes women 732 00:37:40,600 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 1: victims of sexual violence also does violence to men. And 733 00:37:45,080 --> 00:37:47,759 Speaker 1: what so many people don't talk about when we have 734 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,839 Speaker 1: these conversations is it's you know, it's one in four 735 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,799 Speaker 1: of us. By the time we're twenty two, it's one 736 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:56,920 Speaker 1: in six of them. So we have to start figuring 737 00:37:56,960 --> 00:38:03,239 Speaker 1: out how to undo the violence that is encouraged in 738 00:38:03,400 --> 00:38:06,919 Speaker 1: male spaces. Men need safe spaces too. So I love 739 00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:09,640 Speaker 1: that you're I love that you're talking about that. And 740 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,840 Speaker 1: one of my very first calls anytime anything happens in 741 00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:14,840 Speaker 1: my life is my best friend Kenny. Like I wouldn't 742 00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,319 Speaker 1: be where I am without him. And I think it's 743 00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: so important for us to, you know, to solve it together. 744 00:38:23,480 --> 00:38:23,839 Speaker 3: For sure. 745 00:38:24,800 --> 00:38:28,360 Speaker 1: And do you think that loving to you know, advocate 746 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: and also welcome people into conversation like this is is 747 00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:37,000 Speaker 1: like part of what the spirit is behind you going 748 00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:41,120 Speaker 1: and launching your Instagram, live chat, launching stream of consciousness. 749 00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:42,479 Speaker 3: Yeah. 750 00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:45,000 Speaker 2: I also felt like, so there's a part of me 751 00:38:45,080 --> 00:38:47,920 Speaker 2: too that I love, like spirituality and wellness and all 752 00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:50,080 Speaker 2: that kind of stuff. And I get so frustrated with 753 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:53,400 Speaker 2: all these companies and blogs that make it seem like 754 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:56,200 Speaker 2: you have to be a multi millionaire to be a 755 00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:59,399 Speaker 2: part of the wellness industry. You know, you can make 756 00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:02,400 Speaker 2: your own milk for very, very inexpensively. 757 00:39:02,520 --> 00:39:04,759 Speaker 3: You know, you know, you could do so much. 758 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,759 Speaker 2: You could, You could heal yourself. All you need is 759 00:39:07,840 --> 00:39:10,279 Speaker 2: your mind and your body to really do all these things. 760 00:39:10,360 --> 00:39:12,279 Speaker 2: Go outside, take your shoes off for your feet on 761 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:15,680 Speaker 2: the ground, and meditate, And so that was kind of 762 00:39:15,760 --> 00:39:16,960 Speaker 2: the driving forces. 763 00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:18,759 Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I want to get some of 764 00:39:18,800 --> 00:39:21,600 Speaker 3: the things that I want to learn about and I 765 00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:24,600 Speaker 3: want to talk about out there, and so maybe. 766 00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:25,920 Speaker 2: Some people won't want to hear it, so let's just 767 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:28,400 Speaker 2: do a snippet and then if they like it, they 768 00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:30,560 Speaker 2: can continue following this other person. 769 00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:34,759 Speaker 1: You know, Okay, can you can you tell listeners of 770 00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:36,759 Speaker 1: the podcast what to expect when they tune in. 771 00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:42,160 Speaker 3: Yeah. So with the IG Live, it's somebody new every week. 772 00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:46,080 Speaker 3: It's somebody who I have kind. 773 00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:50,520 Speaker 2: Of found through Instagram or books or whatever podcasts, and 774 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:56,560 Speaker 2: who inspires me or is talking something that either I 775 00:39:56,760 --> 00:39:58,279 Speaker 2: know about and I want to know more about, or 776 00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:01,840 Speaker 2: I genuinely don't know anything about. And I'm always so 777 00:40:02,239 --> 00:40:05,400 Speaker 2: impressed because I'll get somebody on. And I had somebody 778 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:08,520 Speaker 2: on the other day who decodes things through dreams, and 779 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 2: I thought to myself, Okay, I'm going to. 780 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:12,200 Speaker 3: Learn that a safe means you're in trouble whatever. 781 00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:16,400 Speaker 2: Who knows it gots so deep and so interesting that 782 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,120 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, and that's I think the funnest, 783 00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:22,120 Speaker 2: most fun part for me is like I get so 784 00:40:22,400 --> 00:40:25,759 Speaker 2: inspired after these conversations, like I'm lit up by them, 785 00:40:25,960 --> 00:40:29,319 Speaker 2: Like you know, they make me want to learn more. 786 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:31,680 Speaker 3: And so I hope that's kind of what it leaves 787 00:40:31,719 --> 00:40:33,840 Speaker 3: everybody else feeling too, you know. 788 00:40:34,480 --> 00:40:37,239 Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I think I think that's kind 789 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:40,040 Speaker 1: of one of the best parts of everything in the 790 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,480 Speaker 1: Internet age is that we can actually just ask each 791 00:40:42,480 --> 00:40:46,000 Speaker 1: other questions. We can do this like I'm I'm currently 792 00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:47,680 Speaker 1: in New York and you're in Michigan and we're on 793 00:40:47,800 --> 00:40:52,399 Speaker 1: zoom recording conversation we're having, like what it's so it's 794 00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,560 Speaker 1: so cool. So I love that you're doing that. And 795 00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:58,320 Speaker 1: then I do want to ask you a very exciting 796 00:40:58,360 --> 00:41:00,560 Speaker 1: personal question because last time we did this on the 797 00:41:00,640 --> 00:41:02,719 Speaker 1: other show, I was like, Okay, we're not talking about it, 798 00:41:02,800 --> 00:41:05,600 Speaker 1: so maybe we're just like not talking about it. But 799 00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,600 Speaker 1: then obviously at the end of our chat, we all 800 00:41:07,680 --> 00:41:11,120 Speaker 1: were like gushing over your engagement and we're just so 801 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:14,320 Speaker 1: happy for you. And I know that all the fans 802 00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:16,839 Speaker 1: are like, wait, how did they meet? And they also 803 00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:19,840 Speaker 1: want to congratulate you. So I'm bringing all the listeners 804 00:41:19,920 --> 00:41:23,040 Speaker 1: in so we can gush about your sweet man for 805 00:41:23,160 --> 00:41:23,560 Speaker 1: a minute. 806 00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:29,600 Speaker 3: His name is Jared. He he's originally from Michigan. 807 00:41:31,160 --> 00:41:37,160 Speaker 2: He's just the kindest, most aware person, so much so 808 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,160 Speaker 2: that I almost didn't even know how to accept him 809 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:42,279 Speaker 2: in my life at some point, because when you're used to, 810 00:41:42,719 --> 00:41:45,800 Speaker 2: like when you're not used to somebody who's so nurturing 811 00:41:45,880 --> 00:41:46,400 Speaker 2: and amazing, and. 812 00:41:46,400 --> 00:41:47,520 Speaker 3: I was like, what is this? 813 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:48,400 Speaker 2: What is this? 814 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:50,800 Speaker 1: Oh girl, tell me about it? 815 00:41:52,400 --> 00:41:52,600 Speaker 3: Right? 816 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:55,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, when you're like wait, you're like wait a second, 817 00:41:55,920 --> 00:41:58,280 Speaker 1: you're you're like hold on. So if I yet toxic 818 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:01,839 Speaker 1: was bad? And then I thought, was normal? What's better 819 00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:04,520 Speaker 1: than normal? 820 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:05,520 Speaker 2: Is it good? 821 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:06,440 Speaker 3: Can I have that? 822 00:42:07,080 --> 00:42:11,800 Speaker 2: Can I have that where you're healthy, you're you're saying 823 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,840 Speaker 2: you're emotionally available? What is that? 824 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:18,600 Speaker 3: But yeah, no, he's amazing. 825 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:22,839 Speaker 2: So my my cousin Alexandra so I so a little 826 00:42:22,880 --> 00:42:26,000 Speaker 2: bit of Michigan background. My mother is originally from Michigan, 827 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:28,719 Speaker 2: and so I grew up. I was living in New York, 828 00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,160 Speaker 2: That's where I was born, and we would come to 829 00:42:31,239 --> 00:42:34,080 Speaker 2: Michigan every summer to visit my family. So my cous 830 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,920 Speaker 2: a lot of my cousins you know, grew up here. 831 00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:39,440 Speaker 2: And one of my cousins randomly, one day I was. 832 00:42:39,520 --> 00:42:41,399 Speaker 3: Filming, actually my last day. 833 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,120 Speaker 2: No. I came back for this finale of Chicago Med 834 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:49,839 Speaker 2: season seven to kind of like with Nick's good guy, 835 00:42:50,520 --> 00:42:53,520 Speaker 2: I felm just seemed with him. And my I came 836 00:42:53,640 --> 00:42:55,680 Speaker 2: to pick me up to bring me back to Michigan, 837 00:42:56,520 --> 00:42:58,440 Speaker 2: and she was like, we were talking about dating, and 838 00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:00,359 Speaker 2: I was like, well, I'm out here on the farm. 839 00:43:00,680 --> 00:43:02,759 Speaker 2: I'm not going to meet anybody, and I don't want 840 00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:04,719 Speaker 2: to meet anybody in LA or New York because they're 841 00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:06,160 Speaker 2: not going to want to live here and I want 842 00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:06,920 Speaker 2: to stay in Michigan. 843 00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,759 Speaker 3: She's like, Oh, I wish I had somebody to hook 844 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:08,960 Speaker 3: you up. 845 00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:11,399 Speaker 4: But she's like, actually, I used to know this guy 846 00:43:11,520 --> 00:43:13,719 Speaker 4: in college and I always thought he was so cute, 847 00:43:13,800 --> 00:43:18,480 Speaker 4: and you know, he likes reading and he loves Stephen King, 848 00:43:18,640 --> 00:43:20,640 Speaker 4: Like I really think you guys are all into like 849 00:43:20,760 --> 00:43:21,560 Speaker 4: the same things. 850 00:43:21,800 --> 00:43:23,319 Speaker 3: She's like, can I put you guys in touch? 851 00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:27,120 Speaker 2: And I was like sure, why not? Just thinking like whatever, 852 00:43:27,280 --> 00:43:30,719 Speaker 2: this systems got to work. So she d ms him 853 00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,879 Speaker 2: on Instagram because they haven't spoken since college. Mind you wow, 854 00:43:34,080 --> 00:43:36,560 Speaker 2: So this has been like a very long time, and 855 00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:38,920 Speaker 2: so she randomly thought of him, like randomly, So she 856 00:43:39,120 --> 00:43:41,480 Speaker 2: dms him and he said he woke up in the 857 00:43:41,520 --> 00:43:43,239 Speaker 2: middle of the night. He didn't have his glasses on, 858 00:43:43,400 --> 00:43:45,239 Speaker 2: so it was all blurry and he was like, oh, 859 00:43:45,400 --> 00:43:47,280 Speaker 2: maybe I want to look at this in the morning. 860 00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,239 Speaker 3: He looks at it in the morning. She sent him 861 00:43:50,239 --> 00:43:51,200 Speaker 3: a link to my profile. 862 00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:53,719 Speaker 2: He like clicked on it and he's like, oh, yeah, sure, 863 00:43:53,920 --> 00:43:56,719 Speaker 2: you know, like dating's hard in your thirties. 864 00:43:57,040 --> 00:43:59,399 Speaker 3: I'd love to meet your cousin, he goes. 865 00:43:59,640 --> 00:44:02,560 Speaker 2: After I sent that message, he went back to my profile, 866 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,239 Speaker 2: realized how many followers I had, and then I was 867 00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:10,600 Speaker 2: an actor and he was like, oh, shoot, her cousin 868 00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:14,000 Speaker 2: sent me the wrong profile. So now I just agreed 869 00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,239 Speaker 2: to date this actress and I don't even know what 870 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:18,080 Speaker 2: her cousin looks like. So we wrote her back and 871 00:44:18,120 --> 00:44:21,000 Speaker 2: he's like, oh, I think he sent the wrong profile, 872 00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,239 Speaker 2: and she's like, no, I think that's my that it 873 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:24,120 Speaker 2: really is my cousin. 874 00:44:24,400 --> 00:44:26,239 Speaker 3: He thought he was getting catfish, like it was like 875 00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:28,000 Speaker 3: a prank that she was trying to play. 876 00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:31,160 Speaker 1: That is amazing. 877 00:44:31,520 --> 00:44:33,640 Speaker 3: So anyways, we got in touch. 878 00:44:33,840 --> 00:44:36,680 Speaker 2: I had left to go do a film for a month, 879 00:44:36,840 --> 00:44:39,520 Speaker 2: so we just kind of communicated via the phone, and 880 00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,040 Speaker 2: then we met up on our first date and one 881 00:44:42,080 --> 00:44:43,840 Speaker 2: of my favorite restaurants in my little. 882 00:44:43,640 --> 00:44:47,719 Speaker 3: Farmtown and the rest is history. And it, honestly, it's like. 883 00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:50,279 Speaker 2: I've created my own Hallmark movie. You guys, it's like, 884 00:44:50,719 --> 00:44:51,520 Speaker 2: it's ridiculous. 885 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:53,200 Speaker 3: He is so sweet. 886 00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,880 Speaker 2: He had like the red Fox lab. You know, he 887 00:44:55,960 --> 00:45:00,520 Speaker 2: wears flannels. He like had an old re done like 888 00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:03,759 Speaker 2: Jeep from like, you know, the seventies and eighties. Love it. 889 00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:05,640 Speaker 3: Em and his brothers own. 890 00:45:05,520 --> 00:45:09,120 Speaker 2: Their family business, mechanical contracting business that's been in their 891 00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:10,760 Speaker 2: family for eighty five years. 892 00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:13,319 Speaker 3: I was like, oh, yeah, is this real life? 893 00:45:13,719 --> 00:45:16,399 Speaker 1: No, it really is like a perfect Talmart Christmas movie. 894 00:45:16,480 --> 00:45:17,120 Speaker 1: Is what we're doing. 895 00:45:17,280 --> 00:45:17,520 Speaker 2: Really? 896 00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:19,480 Speaker 3: I love it. 897 00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:20,360 Speaker 2: I love it. 898 00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,640 Speaker 1: Well, we're all so happy for you, honey. 899 00:45:23,719 --> 00:45:25,080 Speaker 3: It's it's exciting. 900 00:45:25,520 --> 00:45:29,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just amazing. So when you you know, when 901 00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,439 Speaker 1: you look ahead, obviously we're not going to get into 902 00:45:31,520 --> 00:45:34,080 Speaker 1: any of the you know, details for the world about 903 00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:38,600 Speaker 1: timing or planning or whatnot. But when you look kind 904 00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:41,799 Speaker 1: of ahead at this year, you know, there's so much 905 00:45:41,840 --> 00:45:45,160 Speaker 1: that's exciting on the horizon, and you've found your person 906 00:45:45,280 --> 00:45:48,120 Speaker 1: and you've found your place, and you feel so settled. 907 00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:52,719 Speaker 1: What what as you look at the future feels like 908 00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:54,200 Speaker 1: your work in progress? 909 00:45:55,080 --> 00:45:59,200 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, so much right now I'm stepping into 910 00:45:59,320 --> 00:46:00,880 Speaker 3: so many new shoes. 911 00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:05,080 Speaker 2: You know, I've realized, you know, I've been in relationships 912 00:46:05,160 --> 00:46:08,920 Speaker 2: before and whatever, But I was always traveling, or that 913 00:46:09,040 --> 00:46:10,040 Speaker 2: person was always traveling. 914 00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:13,200 Speaker 3: I've never settled in with somebody. 915 00:46:13,280 --> 00:46:17,279 Speaker 2: I've never created you created a life with somebody and 916 00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:18,440 Speaker 2: a home with somebody. 917 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,200 Speaker 3: And so this is like, in a weird way, all 918 00:46:21,400 --> 00:46:23,120 Speaker 3: very new for me, and. 919 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:28,239 Speaker 2: Being out here in Michigan and really getting centered and 920 00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:31,840 Speaker 2: really being confident in my decision to be here and 921 00:46:32,040 --> 00:46:34,800 Speaker 2: knowing that my place in the industry will be what 922 00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:36,600 Speaker 2: it's meant to be and. 923 00:46:36,640 --> 00:46:41,200 Speaker 3: I don't need to force it to appease anybody. Everything 924 00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:42,440 Speaker 3: will just fall a place. 925 00:46:42,960 --> 00:46:47,640 Speaker 2: And that's been really scary and really new for me too, 926 00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:51,160 Speaker 2: of being like I need to honor where I want 927 00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:55,200 Speaker 2: to be and be happy and I can't just be 928 00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:58,160 Speaker 2: in this grind every day in LA because it's not 929 00:46:58,280 --> 00:46:59,080 Speaker 2: making me happy. 930 00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:01,960 Speaker 3: And so my work in progress is definitely just. 931 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:07,080 Speaker 2: Like continuing to press the path and center myself and 932 00:47:07,280 --> 00:47:10,680 Speaker 2: really let you know, evolution in life and all that 933 00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:12,759 Speaker 2: just kind of lay out for me. 934 00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:16,040 Speaker 3: Also this not only is there a wedding on the 935 00:47:16,080 --> 00:47:19,400 Speaker 3: horizon this year, I'm also turning forty. I mean we 936 00:47:19,560 --> 00:47:22,719 Speaker 3: also got home. It's their best. It's a big year. 937 00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:24,480 Speaker 3: It's a big breaking year. 938 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:26,120 Speaker 1: Forty is so good. 939 00:47:26,840 --> 00:47:29,160 Speaker 3: I can't wait. Yeah, I really don't wait. 940 00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:30,279 Speaker 2: It's so good. 941 00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:32,239 Speaker 1: Everything changes in the best way. 942 00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like I've been waiting for it. Instead 943 00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,120 Speaker 3: of that, I'm like, well, I'm almost forty, then I'll 944 00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:37,680 Speaker 3: be hop Yeah. 945 00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:42,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's very like it feels deeply chic, and there 946 00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:46,520 Speaker 1: is to your point, there's just such a knowledge of 947 00:47:46,640 --> 00:47:50,320 Speaker 1: self that everybody says it and you go, yeah, but 948 00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:53,440 Speaker 1: you know, I'm you know, I'm I'm curious, and I'm 949 00:47:53,480 --> 00:47:57,160 Speaker 1: a reader and I'm an activist and I know myself. 950 00:47:57,239 --> 00:47:58,960 Speaker 1: And then something happens and you're like, oh my god, 951 00:47:59,000 --> 00:48:00,960 Speaker 1: all the people wiser and older than you were right 952 00:48:01,040 --> 00:48:05,120 Speaker 1: and I had no right clue. So I'm so I 953 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,759 Speaker 1: love that it's all coming to such a cool moment 954 00:48:07,840 --> 00:48:08,800 Speaker 1: of culmination for you. 955 00:48:09,480 --> 00:48:10,160 Speaker 3: I love it too. 956 00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:12,800 Speaker 2: And then and also the last little piece of that 957 00:48:13,040 --> 00:48:16,560 Speaker 2: is like, you know, standing in myself even more. 958 00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:18,799 Speaker 3: And I think that that's something that comes to these two. 959 00:48:18,880 --> 00:48:21,160 Speaker 3: I feel like we hit certain moments in our life. 960 00:48:21,000 --> 00:48:23,359 Speaker 2: Where we think I'm standing in myself more than ever, 961 00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:26,399 Speaker 2: and then you wake up and you realize, oh my god, 962 00:48:26,840 --> 00:48:28,920 Speaker 2: if I had known what I know now, then I 963 00:48:29,280 --> 00:48:30,799 Speaker 2: realized I wasn't in myself at all. 964 00:48:31,480 --> 00:48:32,959 Speaker 3: And you know, even if something as. 965 00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:35,960 Speaker 2: Little as I put an audition on tape yesterday and 966 00:48:36,080 --> 00:48:39,040 Speaker 2: I felt so good about it, and normally what makes 967 00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,440 Speaker 2: me feel good is the validation I get back. And 968 00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:45,080 Speaker 2: I thought, to myself, even if my team hates this tape, 969 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,719 Speaker 2: I'm not redoing it because I'm happy with it. And 970 00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:50,560 Speaker 2: I've never said that before, and it was so freeing 971 00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:54,560 Speaker 2: to go. I don't care what anyone else thinks right now. 972 00:48:55,200 --> 00:48:58,480 Speaker 2: If I'm happy with it, that's all that matters, and 973 00:48:58,719 --> 00:48:59,000 Speaker 2: that's it. 974 00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,319 Speaker 3: It's heart. But some days it's hard. Some days he's brain. 975 00:49:02,440 --> 00:49:03,200 Speaker 3: Some days it's hard. 976 00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:07,160 Speaker 1: It is, but I think that's that's it, right, It's 977 00:49:07,239 --> 00:49:09,160 Speaker 1: figuring out how to get to more days where you 978 00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:10,960 Speaker 1: can live that way and feel that way. 979 00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:12,560 Speaker 3: Absolutely. 980 00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:14,320 Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. 981 00:49:15,280 --> 00:49:15,600 Speaker 3: Thank you. 982 00:49:15,680 --> 00:49:16,800 Speaker 1: I'm so happy for you. 983 00:49:17,080 --> 00:49:18,080 Speaker 3: This was so great. 984 00:49:19,040 --> 00:49:22,120 Speaker 1: Thank you for coming and hanging today. I always love 985 00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:22,880 Speaker 1: getting to see you. 986 00:49:23,840 --> 00:49:24,480 Speaker 2: I know you too. 987 00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:25,360 Speaker 3: Thanks for having me