1 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: Warning. 2 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,520 Speaker 2: In this episode, you'll be hearing about my dad, talk 3 00:00:13,560 --> 00:00:18,480 Speaker 2: about astrology, baseball, K pop, heavy metal and hit us, 4 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:22,640 Speaker 2: Halo and Stitch, and also growing up as an immigrant, 5 00:00:22,760 --> 00:00:25,360 Speaker 2: which I think is awesome. If you're down into it, 6 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 2: that's okay, but I hope you stick around. 7 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 3: And devitiation. 8 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 1: I feel amazing Mbara breaking end of a Monday and 9 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:45,879 Speaker 1: the recredation then killaborations in the attack team fifth that 10 00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,239 Speaker 1: it has been wrapping the affecting affecting. 11 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,000 Speaker 3: You know what that means, you know what, It's ridiculous. 12 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:54,560 Speaker 3: My nemerologist told me that I should be eating bananas 13 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 3: every day and particularly on Wednesdays, and today is Wednesday. 14 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:03,400 Speaker 3: So I've got these tiny, tiny bananas that are maybe 15 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,640 Speaker 3: half the height of my palm. I'm gonna tear a 16 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,760 Speaker 3: couple off and eat them and also press them into 17 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:18,400 Speaker 3: my palm. Back when I began this show, doctor Kumar, 18 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:20,959 Speaker 3: the astrologer I met in Queen's told me I should 19 00:01:20,959 --> 00:01:22,640 Speaker 3: consider buying an emerald. 20 00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,720 Speaker 4: It would be a good idea if you were an emerald. 21 00:01:26,040 --> 00:01:29,200 Speaker 5: Emberle is a gemstone for the planet Mercury to have 22 00:01:29,840 --> 00:01:31,560 Speaker 5: better communication, better connection. 23 00:01:33,240 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 3: Basically, it's a way of nudging the universe telling it 24 00:01:35,959 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 3: to boost the wearers communication skills. The truth is I 25 00:01:39,959 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 3: could use the help. I mean, I stutter and I mumble, 26 00:01:43,200 --> 00:01:46,880 Speaker 3: and I'm introverted, and here I am making a podcast. 27 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 3: So I'm very tempted by a quick fix. 28 00:01:51,080 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 6: So let's see if this makes me more of a 29 00:01:53,440 --> 00:01:54,480 Speaker 6: leader and. 30 00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,000 Speaker 3: Better at communicating. I think gems are a big part 31 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:03,040 Speaker 3: of Indian astrology. They're used as duct tape quick solutions 32 00:02:03,080 --> 00:02:06,880 Speaker 3: to strengthen the deficiencies in your birth chart. For example, 33 00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:11,240 Speaker 3: my mercury is weak, so an emerald can help compensate. 34 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:15,160 Speaker 3: The problem is that many astrologers are known for having 35 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:17,960 Speaker 3: a tie in with a jeweler and taking a commission 36 00:02:17,960 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 3: for referrals, which makes me suspicious. But also I live 37 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,600 Speaker 3: in New York City and I'm kind of a cheapskate. 38 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:31,359 Speaker 3: An emerald sounds pricey. That's why I was thrilled when 39 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:35,600 Speaker 3: a different seer, doctor DV. Malhotra, who has a PhD 40 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:39,280 Speaker 3: in numerology, told me to forget about jewelers and just 41 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:44,079 Speaker 3: buy some bananas instead. Which is odd because. 42 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:47,480 Speaker 5: I'm born and brought up in a daily jeweller family 43 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:50,160 Speaker 5: and married to a Mumbai based jeweller family. 44 00:02:50,480 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 3: Her house is filled with too many jewelers, and although 45 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:58,720 Speaker 3: she's been surrounded by sparkly things all her life. 46 00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 5: I don't recommend my clients to wear any semi precious stones. 47 00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,720 Speaker 3: To her, the magic isn't in the cut of the stone, 48 00:03:07,360 --> 00:03:08,280 Speaker 3: but in its color. 49 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,600 Speaker 5: I heal them with the remedies, and my remedies are 50 00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:19,600 Speaker 5: very simple. You can eat banana apple. Yes, that's called 51 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,560 Speaker 5: the color therapy. 52 00:03:21,240 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 3: She believes that fruit can do what gems do for 53 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:28,480 Speaker 3: a fraction of the price. So, after this intense and 54 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:33,680 Speaker 3: complicated numerical analysis of my birth times and dates, she 55 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 3: hands me a thick packet of information that describes my 56 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:42,440 Speaker 3: personality fairly accurately, along with my many flaws, and then 57 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:45,320 Speaker 3: she recommends the colors that'll improve my life. 58 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:49,800 Speaker 5: Green and sun colors. You can use sun colors in 59 00:03:49,840 --> 00:03:53,840 Speaker 5: your life, so if you will touch colors to your 60 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:57,320 Speaker 5: skin on every Wednesday, that will also help you out. 61 00:03:57,600 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 3: Doctor Devia has no shortage of clients, but she has 62 00:04:00,960 --> 00:04:03,040 Speaker 3: a gripe with the way people seek help from her. 63 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 3: She tells me that people only come when they're desperate 64 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:07,000 Speaker 3: for solutions. 65 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 5: Basically, you know what I want to give awareness that 66 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:14,920 Speaker 5: you go to any occult science healer. Don't go when 67 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:18,359 Speaker 5: you are in pain, whether it's me or anybody else. 68 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:19,360 Speaker 6: Work in the. 69 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:23,760 Speaker 5: Present to secure your future. Don't come to me when 70 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 5: your present is worse to secure your future. 71 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,440 Speaker 3: Her notion is why can't people treat in numerologists like 72 00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:33,200 Speaker 3: a doctor the same way you do wellness checks to 73 00:04:33,240 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 3: stay healthy, keep your life in balance. 74 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:37,960 Speaker 5: I can't give you the result overnight. 75 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 3: I don't go to the gym anymore, so maybe a 76 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 3: regular banana holding on Sundays and Wednesdays is how I'll 77 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:49,320 Speaker 3: stay on top of things. Doctor Davia tells me it'll 78 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:51,159 Speaker 3: be three to four months of this by the time 79 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,560 Speaker 3: I see results, which I guess isn't any weirder than 80 00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,120 Speaker 3: believing in the power of a shiny stone. But I 81 00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 3: do feel silly because it is silly. 82 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,279 Speaker 6: So ridiculous. 83 00:05:03,400 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 3: I moved from holding the banana at chest level with 84 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:09,479 Speaker 3: two hands to raising the banana up to the sky 85 00:05:09,760 --> 00:05:18,080 Speaker 3: like it's Simba from the Lion King, and then I 86 00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:22,160 Speaker 3: eat it. I don't normally neat breakfast, though happy about that. 87 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:29,039 Speaker 3: Doctor Tavia is right about astrology and the moments we 88 00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:34,279 Speaker 3: turn to it. Right now. Michelle Fan, a prospective law 89 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 3: school student and then on a bashed BTS super fan 90 00:05:38,200 --> 00:05:42,280 Speaker 3: is in crisis because her favorite band is in crisis 91 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 3: just when she needs the most. 92 00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,360 Speaker 7: All of a sudden, the members are crying, and then 93 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 7: I'm crying and I don't know what's going on. I'm 94 00:05:55,279 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 7: texting my friends. I thought like my life was flashing 95 00:05:57,839 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 7: before my eyes, because here are these people who have 96 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 7: always been so happy, and now they're being vulnerable with us, 97 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 7: and they're crying. They're talking about it like it's a breakup, 98 00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 7: even though they're saying it's not a breakup. 99 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:10,320 Speaker 4: Don't know. 100 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:19,599 Speaker 3: From Kaleidoscope and iHeart podcasts, I'm Mongish Hearticular. Welcome to 101 00:06:19,600 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 3: Skyland Drive Chapter one, T Shirts and boy Bands. Michelle, 102 00:07:20,640 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 3: why don't you say your full name for me and 103 00:07:23,160 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 3: just give me a little introduction about yourself. 104 00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 7: Yeah, sure, my name is Michelle Fan. I am currently 105 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 7: working full time in human rights, but right now, with 106 00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 7: my free time, I've been devoting it all to traveling 107 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 7: and keeping up with BTS's activities. 108 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:44,000 Speaker 3: From the moment I start chatting with Michelle, I like her. 109 00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:48,520 Speaker 3: She has this bubbly energy and this incredible sweetness that 110 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,320 Speaker 3: I'm not expecting, maybe because I know a little bit 111 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:55,560 Speaker 3: about her circumstance. One of her friends, my colleague Viny, 112 00:07:56,120 --> 00:08:00,920 Speaker 3: is worried about her. Michelle is super smart, college Honor 113 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 3: Society aister elsat smart, but it's been a year since 114 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,920 Speaker 3: she graduated, and she hasn't filled out her law school 115 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 3: applications yet. She's been pushing it off for some reason, 116 00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:16,080 Speaker 3: and her pals are wondering can astrology help, because maybe 117 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,720 Speaker 3: you can give her the nuds she needs. But as 118 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:22,440 Speaker 3: we talk, it's not clear to me how much Michelle 119 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:25,480 Speaker 3: wants a reading for herself so much as she wants 120 00:08:25,480 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 3: it for BTS, the massive Korean pop group. 121 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,120 Speaker 7: I would like to know about their future families and 122 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 7: how many kids they're going to have, and how long 123 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 7: they're going to keep doing this for and what kind 124 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:39,640 Speaker 7: of music they'll do when they're like gray and old, 125 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,600 Speaker 7: and if they'll still perform or like get together and 126 00:08:42,679 --> 00:08:43,520 Speaker 7: do things like that. 127 00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:48,520 Speaker 3: Michelle's a BTS superfan or what's known as army. 128 00:08:48,679 --> 00:08:52,320 Speaker 7: You can't be a casual army like. There's just something 129 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:56,760 Speaker 7: that is so captivating about BTS. Once you're in it, 130 00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,880 Speaker 7: you're really in it, man, Like. Most of my closest 131 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:03,080 Speaker 7: army friends are people that I already knew, and we 132 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:06,240 Speaker 7: connected even more over this thing that we weren't really 133 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,800 Speaker 7: embarrassed to like, but people wanted to make us embarrassed 134 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 7: to like. 135 00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 3: I feel guilty here because I'm technically anti boy band. 136 00:09:15,840 --> 00:09:19,200 Speaker 3: In third grade, my friends Zoe and I would rip 137 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,880 Speaker 3: on new kids on the block and we were constantly 138 00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:25,520 Speaker 3: evangelizing how lame we thought they were. In high school, 139 00:09:25,720 --> 00:09:28,199 Speaker 3: I ribbed my little cousin because every time a Backstreet 140 00:09:28,240 --> 00:09:31,800 Speaker 3: Boys video came on, she screamed like it was Beatlemania 141 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:35,200 Speaker 3: and it made no sense to me. But it wasn't 142 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:39,120 Speaker 3: just the music that offended me, something about how manufactured 143 00:09:39,160 --> 00:09:42,240 Speaker 3: these groups always are, Like you've got to have the 144 00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:45,199 Speaker 3: bad boy and the sweetheart and the shy one and 145 00:09:45,240 --> 00:09:48,280 Speaker 3: the slightly older brother who seems a little too old 146 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 3: to be in the band. The groups are always perfectly 147 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:57,840 Speaker 3: curated for mass consumption versus you know, outsiders who are 148 00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:00,840 Speaker 3: trying to express something real and authentic with their music 149 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:08,439 Speaker 3: and aren't part of some assembly line anyway. What does 150 00:10:08,480 --> 00:10:10,280 Speaker 3: being a member of this fandom mean to you? 151 00:10:10,640 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 7: What does it mean to me? 152 00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:13,600 Speaker 6: Oh? 153 00:10:13,679 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 7: Man, it means a lot. It's really nice to feel 154 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:20,480 Speaker 7: like you're part of something that is genuinely just like 155 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,880 Speaker 7: full of like kindness and love and family. I think 156 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,640 Speaker 7: that they do a really good job of making Army 157 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 7: feel like they're part of their family. 158 00:10:29,440 --> 00:10:34,439 Speaker 3: Seeing BTS live was a transcendent experience for her. 159 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:38,040 Speaker 7: You just look around you. All you see are these 160 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 7: lightsticks that are waving around, and it really feels like 161 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:44,600 Speaker 7: you're in a sea of stars. My friend and I 162 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:47,520 Speaker 7: was that and bald after the concert was over because 163 00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 7: we were like, we're never going to have that magical 164 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 7: experience again. I imagine that this is like what Disney adults 165 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,560 Speaker 7: feel like every summer. I wish I could have that, 166 00:10:57,679 --> 00:10:59,640 Speaker 7: but I have to wait for the off chance that 167 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:03,680 Speaker 7: bt US is going to announce performance in America for 168 00:11:03,760 --> 00:11:07,640 Speaker 7: me to experience that level of like etherealness. 169 00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:11,120 Speaker 3: So Michelle spends her extra hours thinking about BTS and 170 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 3: interacting with fans, and luckily for Army, BTS has no 171 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:21,280 Speaker 3: shortage of content. But as Michelle talks, it becomes clear 172 00:11:21,640 --> 00:11:24,840 Speaker 3: it isn't just about the music for her or the community, 173 00:11:25,160 --> 00:11:29,280 Speaker 3: which is powerful, It's also about seeing a Korean band 174 00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,160 Speaker 3: making it to the top of the American charts without 175 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 3: having to compromise their identity. 176 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:39,479 Speaker 7: I do feel like an additional connection to BTS because 177 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 7: it's been so nice to see Asian artists really fully 178 00:11:44,960 --> 00:11:46,800 Speaker 7: embrace their Asian news. 179 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,520 Speaker 3: Michelle came to the States from China as a toddler. 180 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 3: Her dad brought the family over as he finished his PhD. 181 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 3: But even though they became upwardly mobile living in a 182 00:11:57,120 --> 00:12:02,800 Speaker 3: nice suburban community, life at home at times was turbulent. 183 00:12:03,360 --> 00:12:08,959 Speaker 7: My dad was pretty abusive. He's really not a great guy. 184 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:15,240 Speaker 7: He eventually left, which good riddance. My mom's here at home, 185 00:12:15,440 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 7: and my dad's in China, and my brother is here 186 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,800 Speaker 7: with us too, So now it's just us three, and 187 00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:22,640 Speaker 7: I guess my cat. 188 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:26,400 Speaker 3: Michelle doesn't dwell on the abuse or her absent dad. 189 00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:29,440 Speaker 3: It's just a speed bump. She happens to acknowledge as 190 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:33,160 Speaker 3: we talk about her upbringing. But being there for her 191 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,840 Speaker 3: mom and her brother, that's a big part of her identity, 192 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 3: and that caring doesn't stop with her family. Michelle stands 193 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 3: up for anyone who is wounded. 194 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 7: Since middle school, I've wanted to go into human rights work. 195 00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,960 Speaker 7: I've always just cared a lot about what's fair and 196 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 7: what's not fair. I'm sure part of it also comes 197 00:12:51,559 --> 00:12:55,200 Speaker 7: from coming here as an immigrant and figuring out how 198 00:12:55,240 --> 00:12:57,880 Speaker 7: to fit in. Why do I have to chop off 199 00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:00,200 Speaker 7: all of these parts of myself to fit in to 200 00:13:00,240 --> 00:13:03,240 Speaker 7: this mold so that you can still not see me 201 00:13:03,280 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 7: as an equal? Like that doesn't seem. 202 00:13:05,040 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 3: Right, that tension of identity. I know what she means. 203 00:13:10,800 --> 00:13:13,640 Speaker 7: I didn't want my parents to meet people. I didn't 204 00:13:13,679 --> 00:13:17,080 Speaker 7: want people to meet my grandparents. I was just very 205 00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 7: ashamed of everything related to my family, and that didn't 206 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:22,599 Speaker 7: really change until high school. 207 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:26,599 Speaker 3: My parents were never an embarrassment to me, but sometimes 208 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:29,920 Speaker 3: my house could be like, do you really want to 209 00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 3: invite people in just to explain the myths and religious 210 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,680 Speaker 3: iconography on your walls? Again? Do you bring a tiffin 211 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 3: with delicious rice and doll and pickles to the school 212 00:13:39,440 --> 00:13:43,760 Speaker 3: cafeteria or do you beg your parents for a whitebread 213 00:13:43,800 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 3: peebie and j and a juice box because it just 214 00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:52,200 Speaker 3: makes life easier. There's a constant question of how you 215 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 3: bridge the person you are inside your home versus the 216 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:58,200 Speaker 3: person you have to be outside it, and how you 217 00:13:58,280 --> 00:14:01,559 Speaker 3: explain and justify these two identities. 218 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 7: It really helped that one summer we went back to China, 219 00:14:05,120 --> 00:14:07,360 Speaker 7: and that was when I was really aware that I 220 00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:09,400 Speaker 7: was like, oh, I didn't grow up in this country, 221 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,000 Speaker 7: but I feel so at home here. Why is that. 222 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:16,719 Speaker 7: Hearing my regional dialect spoken, having the food, seeing everybody 223 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,240 Speaker 7: dry their beans outside, you know, all of these like 224 00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:24,360 Speaker 7: tiny little details reminded me that it was perfectly fine 225 00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,120 Speaker 7: for my family to be the way that it was, 226 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 7: and that there was nothing to be ashamed of. That 227 00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 7: transitioned into a lot of pride. 228 00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:34,760 Speaker 3: I think that's common too, or at least I hope 229 00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 3: it is. That at some point you stop worrying about 230 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 3: the differences and just own them. But that doesn't always 231 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:56,360 Speaker 3: mean the world accepts you. Back in two thousand and two, 232 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,960 Speaker 3: not long after nine to eleven, I moved to Birmingham, Alabama. 233 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:02,640 Speaker 3: The day I was leaving, my dad handed me a 234 00:15:02,680 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 3: T shirt with an American flag and an eagle on it. 235 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,120 Speaker 3: I'd already packed the car and I'd come in to 236 00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 3: give him a hug, and he just kind of handed 237 00:15:10,880 --> 00:15:14,160 Speaker 3: it to me like it was the short sleeve totem 238 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:19,160 Speaker 3: that could let everyone know I was American too. I 239 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:22,280 Speaker 3: knew his fears. I mean, in the weeks and months 240 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:24,760 Speaker 3: after nine to eleven. I remember the looks I get, 241 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 3: the comments, the shoves, the ways people tried to instigate 242 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 3: fights with me, things I knew were only directed my 243 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:37,960 Speaker 3: way because of the color of my skin. Still, I 244 00:15:38,040 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 3: tucked this T shirt in my bag and I never 245 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:44,240 Speaker 3: actually wore it, but I was thinking about that shirt 246 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 3: again and my dad's idea of this weird form of 247 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 3: protection because Michelle started talking about this moment in time 248 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:55,120 Speaker 3: from when COVID hit America forward, when anti Asian hate 249 00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:59,760 Speaker 3: became so prevalent and so visible, how the world inside 250 00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 3: her suddenly felt so much warmer and comforting than the 251 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:04,800 Speaker 3: one waiting outside her door. 252 00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 7: I also, like really didn't go out during COVID. Every 253 00:16:08,200 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 7: time I did go out, it did make me super 254 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:14,560 Speaker 7: super paranoid. Even now, just like going on the subway, 255 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:19,240 Speaker 7: like I still feel pretty anxious. I'll text my friends 256 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:20,920 Speaker 7: so that they know where I am, but like now 257 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,720 Speaker 7: it's not like a hym I'm in the you know, 258 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:24,560 Speaker 7: I'm in the city, like keep an eye out for me. 259 00:16:24,720 --> 00:16:27,560 Speaker 7: It's like hope I don't get pushed off the platform. 260 00:16:28,160 --> 00:16:32,720 Speaker 3: I'm not scared for myself these days, not really, but 261 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,160 Speaker 3: I am scared for my friends, my Asian friends, my 262 00:16:36,200 --> 00:16:39,800 Speaker 3: friends who were women. In twenty twenty one, there were 263 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,000 Speaker 3: two hundred and thirty three reported anti Asian hate crimes 264 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 3: in New York City alone. In New York City alone, 265 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:51,280 Speaker 3: fifty five percent of those were against women. It's no 266 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 3: surprise that we cling to these totems for strength, because no, 267 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:58,240 Speaker 3: I don't believe that clutching onto a bend or a 268 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:02,280 Speaker 3: T shirt or a gem or a banana can protect you. 269 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 3: But in the face of so much unearned anger, maybe 270 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 3: that grip gives you the courage of particularly moving forward. 271 00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:34,600 Speaker 5: Rob It's. 272 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:36,960 Speaker 6: And it's your class. 273 00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:40,480 Speaker 2: Much down with my recipes and the class it's been 274 00:17:40,600 --> 00:17:42,480 Speaker 2: color skating, never. 275 00:17:44,160 --> 00:17:49,560 Speaker 3: Beato, looking at what's next chapter, choosing teams, Comma Team 276 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,440 Speaker 3: and a family men of l blas. 277 00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:53,960 Speaker 6: Now are we feel up with reality? 278 00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:58,480 Speaker 3: It's funny to think about Michelle's incredible moment of transcendence 279 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:02,040 Speaker 3: occurring in a stadium, because so many fans walk out 280 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 3: of arenas feeling the same way. The high of watching 281 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:11,000 Speaker 3: your favorite team cheering in unison with a crowd. I mean, 282 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:14,879 Speaker 3: there's nothing like it, and that's how Sazar love feels. 283 00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:17,760 Speaker 4: The game is a portal into something else. 284 00:18:18,200 --> 00:18:19,879 Speaker 3: Seesar is a baseball astrologer. 285 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,000 Speaker 4: I'm coming from the West coast San San Francisco. I 286 00:18:23,680 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 4: am part of the tribe of Giants fans and also 287 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:29,639 Speaker 4: part of the tribe of Oakland Athletics fans. 288 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 3: He loved stats and history, but somewhere along the way 289 00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:38,160 Speaker 3: he got frustrated he couldn't understand why his beloved team 290 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:43,359 Speaker 3: wasn't winning. I mean, they had an incredible lineup, so 291 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:47,439 Speaker 3: out of curiosity, he wondered if astrology had an answer. 292 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,880 Speaker 3: Could mercury be holding his team back from the success 293 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:53,440 Speaker 3: they surely deserved. 294 00:18:53,720 --> 00:18:56,639 Speaker 4: You couldn't understand the team by looking at the chart. 295 00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,399 Speaker 4: The Yankees have saturn in the first house. They have 296 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:04,800 Speaker 4: this sense of tradition and that's sort of imposing intimidating quality. 297 00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:08,040 Speaker 4: So yes, it does come across. 298 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:13,119 Speaker 3: Sesar kept studying, he kept grasping for understanding, but it 299 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,760 Speaker 3: just wasn't something he could be open about. Baseball astrology. 300 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:24,240 Speaker 3: I mean it sounds nuts. But then he met Andrea Malice. 301 00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:28,240 Speaker 8: I'm testing with mercury retrograde one, two three testing. 302 00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,760 Speaker 4: I'm not quite sure if it was the nineties or 303 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,960 Speaker 4: early two thousands, but I met her at a meeting 304 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:39,359 Speaker 4: of the Society of American Baseball Research at the Oakland Coliseum. 305 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 4: She was sitting next to me, and she asked the 306 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,880 Speaker 4: question to the general manager if they had ever used 307 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:50,240 Speaker 4: astrology in their analysis. And I thought, oh my god, 308 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 4: this crowd is not going to be into this at all. 309 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 4: But Andrea, who just is a lot more abrazen about 310 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,240 Speaker 4: these things that I am, didn't care. 311 00:19:57,600 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 3: And when you talk to Andrea, you know exactly why. 312 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 8: Here's the thing, I'm originally from New York. It takes 313 00:20:03,840 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 8: a lot to intimidate me. 314 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,199 Speaker 3: Despite the fact that people might bok. She has an 315 00:20:09,280 --> 00:20:10,880 Speaker 3: impressive list of clients. 316 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:14,960 Speaker 8: I was the astrologer during the a's moneyball era. Obviously, 317 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 8: in terms of client confidentiality, I can't name names, but 318 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:19,440 Speaker 8: I have players. 319 00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,160 Speaker 3: When I first heard about the Venn diagram of baseball 320 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:25,639 Speaker 3: and astrology, I was hoping we could get some predictions. 321 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 8: You know, the sports astrology nitch is something I totally 322 00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 8: believe in and see results from. 323 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,600 Speaker 3: With the World Series just around the corner, I wondered 324 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 3: if Andrea or Sazar knew who was going to win. 325 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:43,399 Speaker 3: But when we actually approached the question, they were reluctant 326 00:20:43,480 --> 00:20:44,040 Speaker 3: to say. 327 00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 8: I'm a cosmic umpire, you know, it's cosmic intel. I 328 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:49,040 Speaker 8: get most of the calls, right. 329 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:51,960 Speaker 4: I don't like to make those kind of predictions anymore. 330 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,879 Speaker 4: I think that's a trap for astrologers. A lot of 331 00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,159 Speaker 4: them like to make predictions and feel like they're smart 332 00:20:58,320 --> 00:21:00,760 Speaker 4: and show to other people they're smart and say they're there. 333 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:03,680 Speaker 4: I told you so. I'd rather just leave that, just 334 00:21:03,800 --> 00:21:04,920 Speaker 4: watch things unfold. 335 00:21:05,760 --> 00:21:09,359 Speaker 3: So then how can they use their astrological knowledge practically? 336 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:14,879 Speaker 3: For Andrea, it's about coaching players and teams through really 337 00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:15,919 Speaker 3: big decisions. 338 00:21:16,280 --> 00:21:19,040 Speaker 8: Tim Linskam he was a pitcher for the Giants. That's 339 00:21:19,080 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 8: why his dad. Then he goes he's. 340 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:25,680 Speaker 9: Turning down five years one hundred million. Help, and I 341 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,719 Speaker 9: like Palston. I go, Chris, what time was Tim Bourne? 342 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:31,840 Speaker 9: And he told me what time he was born? And 343 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:34,760 Speaker 9: I said, you know, he's a Gemini. He's restless. He's 344 00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:37,439 Speaker 9: having a sad and return between twenty eight and thirty. 345 00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:39,960 Speaker 9: When I explained it to Chris, who was sort of 346 00:21:40,040 --> 00:21:42,080 Speaker 9: a permission giver, I mean, he still didn't want him 347 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:44,080 Speaker 9: to turn down five years one hundred million. 348 00:21:44,119 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 8: But it's like, all right, he's a Gemini. He's a 349 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,960 Speaker 8: little scattered. He wants to see what else is out there. 350 00:21:49,840 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 3: Andrew and Sizar know how to use statistics to reduce 351 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 3: the game to numbers and calculations and take the emotion 352 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 3: out of sporting decisions. They know how to use the 353 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 3: numbers of Estralla to that end too. 354 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,159 Speaker 8: I'll tell you I've got four planets in Virgo, and 355 00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:08,879 Speaker 8: on a good day, I'm a micromanaging, control free I 356 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:11,639 Speaker 8: take a deep dive and I look at all the details. 357 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,160 Speaker 8: I just can't watch a game and relax. I wish 358 00:22:15,240 --> 00:22:18,200 Speaker 8: I could, but you know, this is what makes me 359 00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 8: happy as a Virgo. 360 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:23,720 Speaker 3: But for both of them, baseball is a link to 361 00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:24,800 Speaker 3: something grander. 362 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:30,680 Speaker 4: People don't realize this. Baseball actually began as a pagan 363 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:34,920 Speaker 4: fertility ritual. You can study the archaeology of baseball and 364 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,240 Speaker 4: it's not a uniquely American artifact. It's been played on 365 00:22:38,320 --> 00:22:41,600 Speaker 4: all continents for millennium. The game has sort of evolved 366 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 4: to where we have it now with the diamond with 367 00:22:44,880 --> 00:22:48,600 Speaker 4: ninety feet distances between bases, but its origins and its 368 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:50,679 Speaker 4: history are as old as the hills. 369 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:55,359 Speaker 3: Something courses through players and fans, connecting them not just 370 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:59,399 Speaker 3: to one another, but to the universe. It's like a 371 00:22:59,480 --> 00:23:00,480 Speaker 3: certain type the thief. 372 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,800 Speaker 4: People go to a baseball game, they just feel good. 373 00:23:02,920 --> 00:23:05,119 Speaker 4: It's the way people feel when they go to the 374 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,520 Speaker 4: beach and they know they're in the presence of something 375 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:12,200 Speaker 4: awesome the ocean. There is something just profoundly spiritual happening 376 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:15,000 Speaker 4: in the following of a baseball team. So I think 377 00:23:15,040 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 4: of each team as a spiritual community. 378 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:21,440 Speaker 3: There are found families, just like the BTS Army. 379 00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:32,680 Speaker 6: Chapter three. 380 00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:37,240 Speaker 3: It's not embarrassing. It's in your chart. 381 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:41,680 Speaker 1: God's groove of guys on my own soon learning no shit. 382 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:43,760 Speaker 8: It takes me back to my own school. 383 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,520 Speaker 6: Shit in me head. I take the knowledge. 384 00:23:45,600 --> 00:23:46,359 Speaker 9: Oh who is this? 385 00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:48,560 Speaker 8: Running around the world does end up and getting out 386 00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 8: the dawns? 387 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 3: Oh shoot, oh shoot. 388 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,359 Speaker 10: This is a chart that has a lot of ambition, 389 00:23:53,760 --> 00:23:56,400 Speaker 10: a lot of drive, and a lot of desire to achieve. 390 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 8: There might be a I've got our. 391 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:02,120 Speaker 3: House astrologer Janelle Grave on the line here and I'm 392 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:05,040 Speaker 3: just connecting her with Michelle pushed forward. They're doing it 393 00:24:05,119 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 3: over zoom because Michelle happens to be in Texas this week. 394 00:24:08,960 --> 00:24:10,440 Speaker 8: I do like law for you. 395 00:24:11,160 --> 00:24:15,440 Speaker 10: The night House traditionally has connections to the law, to philosophy, 396 00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:20,200 Speaker 10: to higher learning, to higher education, to international travel, putting 397 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:23,399 Speaker 10: information out into the world and receiving information on a 398 00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:24,159 Speaker 10: grand scale. 399 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:25,920 Speaker 6: I don't know. 400 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,879 Speaker 7: I feel like you're really buttering me up with this 401 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,760 Speaker 7: like international travel. 402 00:24:29,480 --> 00:24:32,280 Speaker 3: Talk, because I'm like, oh, girl, tell me more about that. 403 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,159 Speaker 3: I don't want to hear more about where I'm going 404 00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 3: to be. Michelle doesn't know if any of this is real, 405 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,560 Speaker 3: but she's definitely game to hear it all. Her chart 406 00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:44,880 Speaker 3: shows innate leadership skills and troubleshooting skills. It's as she's 407 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 3: incredibly inquisitive in how she perceives and moves through the world. 408 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,280 Speaker 7: A lot of it rings true, very spooky. 409 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,480 Speaker 3: But even though the talk is flattering, there are these 410 00:24:54,600 --> 00:25:00,320 Speaker 3: moments when Michelle just disappears. She goes quiet, and I 411 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 3: can't tell what she's thinking. No, I think, But as 412 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,800 Speaker 3: Janelle digs into family, Michelle reemerges. 413 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:14,159 Speaker 7: A lot of my interest in law is protecting cultures 414 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,600 Speaker 7: that are at risk of pretty much being trampled over 415 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:23,800 Speaker 7: or erased because of imperialism and globalization and authoritarianism. 416 00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:26,920 Speaker 10: Maybe that's what's fueling you. You may come from a 417 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,560 Speaker 10: lineage that has people who have served in the military 418 00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 10: or have come from countries have experienced war. So where 419 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 10: is this story of origin kind of showing up for 420 00:25:36,359 --> 00:25:38,440 Speaker 10: you if any of these things are making sense so far? 421 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:43,760 Speaker 7: Yeah, I immigrated to the US when I was I 422 00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:49,159 Speaker 7: think three ish, maybe slightly younger than three. My family 423 00:25:49,280 --> 00:25:54,800 Speaker 7: being Chinese few generations ago lived through Japanese attacks on 424 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:56,879 Speaker 7: like our villages and things like that. 425 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,600 Speaker 10: Okay, so even for you, maybe moving a young age 426 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:01,640 Speaker 10: might have been disrupted. 427 00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:01,840 Speaker 7: Right. 428 00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:05,520 Speaker 10: Scorpio as a sign also deals a lot with rejection, 429 00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:07,520 Speaker 10: where you feel like you don't belong or you feel 430 00:26:07,560 --> 00:26:09,600 Speaker 10: like people are judging you or wanting you to be 431 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:10,520 Speaker 10: different than what you are. 432 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:15,840 Speaker 7: Yes, that's definitely the classic immigrant story of like you 433 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:20,440 Speaker 7: fit too much into the home culture that you left, 434 00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 7: and so then you don't fit into the new culture. 435 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,159 Speaker 7: And then you start assimilating as you get older, and 436 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,080 Speaker 7: then you come back home and your parents are like, 437 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:28,560 Speaker 7: what are they teaching you at school? 438 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,040 Speaker 4: Like what you know what I mean? 439 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:34,280 Speaker 3: So it is a classic story, the one Michelle and 440 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:38,480 Speaker 3: I and even Janelle as a first gen Panamanian must 441 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:43,080 Speaker 3: have felt. So the fact that it's typical it doesn't 442 00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:44,760 Speaker 3: make you feel any less. 443 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:49,400 Speaker 10: Here we are now in twenty twenty two. Your next 444 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,200 Speaker 10: phase is going to be the balsamic moon. 445 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:56,639 Speaker 3: Face balsamic. I'd never heard of a balsamic moon, which 446 00:26:57,119 --> 00:27:02,639 Speaker 3: sounds tasty, but in astrologics, it's actually the final sliver 447 00:27:02,800 --> 00:27:05,320 Speaker 3: you see of a moon before it begins a new phase. 448 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,399 Speaker 3: And in sort of a poetic way, it relates to 449 00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,280 Speaker 3: your commitment to your destiny. 450 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,280 Speaker 10: If you're applying to schools and all that, I want 451 00:27:12,320 --> 00:27:13,959 Speaker 10: you to be very cognizant. All right, If I'm going 452 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,240 Speaker 10: to be doing this next journey, what part of my 453 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,040 Speaker 10: life do I really need to let go of right now? 454 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 10: Because you can't walk into your new chapter, you know, kind. 455 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:27,280 Speaker 7: Of raggedy, right, yes, So it's embarrassing that you could 456 00:27:27,359 --> 00:27:28,840 Speaker 7: sniff that out through my chart. 457 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,320 Speaker 6: That is embarrassing. 458 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 7: It's not your chart, Like, no, I love it. 459 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:33,760 Speaker 3: I love it. 460 00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,840 Speaker 10: You are Mars and Scorpio. You're supposed to face your fears, 461 00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:39,440 Speaker 10: all right. There's an element of your tret that says 462 00:27:39,440 --> 00:27:41,040 Speaker 10: you have to show up with courage and fire when 463 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 10: you feel frightened. 464 00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:42,359 Speaker 7: All right. 465 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,800 Speaker 3: Janelle is so clearly encouraging her to go ahead and apply. 466 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:48,840 Speaker 3: She's used the stars to confirm that Michelle is built 467 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:51,680 Speaker 3: to speak out on important issues and show up for 468 00:27:51,760 --> 00:27:56,040 Speaker 3: people who can't speak out for themselves. But there's still 469 00:27:56,160 --> 00:28:00,720 Speaker 3: something that's hindering Michelle, and I wonder what it is. 470 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,159 Speaker 3: But before we get to that, so I. 471 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 10: Think, let's move on to BTS. 472 00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:07,840 Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah. 473 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:15,520 Speaker 3: Last summer, BTS released a strange video that sent shockwaves 474 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:19,480 Speaker 3: through the fandom. They're usually sunny demeanor shifted and they 475 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 3: began talking about how exhausted they were, how something needed 476 00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:27,600 Speaker 3: to change. A few months later, news broke that they 477 00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 3: would begin their compulsory service in the South Korean military, 478 00:28:31,440 --> 00:28:35,600 Speaker 3: enlisting in turns to serve two year stints. And even 479 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 3: though they'll have time for some solo work before they go, 480 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,600 Speaker 3: fans knew this was the moment they'd been dreading as 481 00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:41,920 Speaker 3: a group. 482 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,240 Speaker 10: They are heading into a full moon phase, and their 483 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,680 Speaker 10: full moon phase is going to be in July of 484 00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,400 Speaker 10: next year. So full moons, like I said, can be 485 00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:53,120 Speaker 10: like the culmination all the fruits of our labor ripe 486 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,960 Speaker 10: on the vine, but also full moons can talk about 487 00:28:56,120 --> 00:28:58,360 Speaker 10: endings too. Knowing that this is the top of the 488 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,680 Speaker 10: top for right now and after this we know the 489 00:29:00,760 --> 00:29:03,480 Speaker 10: decline is going to come because this is just moon phases, right. 490 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:08,400 Speaker 7: Yeah, I guess oh man I I oh my god, 491 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 7: my heart. 492 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:09,240 Speaker 5: M hmm. 493 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,920 Speaker 7: There's like a very selfish part of me that's like, no, 494 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,920 Speaker 7: like I want you to keep making music. I want 495 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 7: you to stay together. But I think more than that, 496 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 7: I want to know that they are able to make 497 00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:24,800 Speaker 7: the choices that they need to make. 498 00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 10: This might be one of the things that you might 499 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:30,400 Speaker 10: have to quote unquote let go during this balsamic phase. Right, 500 00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 10: if this band decides that we're going to take a 501 00:29:32,240 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 10: hiatus or whatever the case is, you know, you may 502 00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,280 Speaker 10: not be as involved, but there's still going to be 503 00:29:36,320 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 10: part of your life. 504 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:37,160 Speaker 4: Right. 505 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,280 Speaker 10: They're still together after many years, but go off and 506 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 10: do their own thing and come back together every so 507 00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:43,840 Speaker 10: often to enjoy performing. 508 00:29:44,360 --> 00:29:45,600 Speaker 7: Yes, BTS. 509 00:29:45,720 --> 00:29:52,640 Speaker 3: Grandpa's so about boy bands. Even though kpop is a 510 00:29:52,760 --> 00:29:56,880 Speaker 3: five billion dollar industry now ruled by three major corporations 511 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,560 Speaker 3: and flooded with what the New Yorker referred to as 512 00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 3: quote generous government support, Michelle's maybe realize that BTS is 513 00:30:06,160 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 3: actually different. The manager in charge of putting the band 514 00:30:09,320 --> 00:30:13,720 Speaker 3: together allowed BTS's members to write lyrics and suggest themes 515 00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:17,520 Speaker 3: to address their biggest concerns. So the band's first three 516 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 3: albums they speak to Korean youth, trying to comfort them 517 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:24,320 Speaker 3: through the intense academic pressures that kids in the country 518 00:30:24,400 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 3: face and that theme of protection that's infused their entire vibe. 519 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:34,960 Speaker 10: So here's urinatal chart on the inside and on the 520 00:30:35,080 --> 00:30:36,360 Speaker 10: outside it's BTS. 521 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:40,880 Speaker 3: WHOA Janell doa something I was not expecting. She takes 522 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:43,960 Speaker 3: the BTS birth chart and she layers it over Michelle's 523 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 3: chart to see the influence they'll have on one another. 524 00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 10: I love that mars Son and Jupiter and Jim and 525 00:30:50,440 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 10: I are in your eleventh house, so bringing in possibilities 526 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:58,040 Speaker 10: for friendship and group and endeavors and collaborative things that 527 00:30:58,200 --> 00:30:59,680 Speaker 10: might come in through the groups. I don't know if 528 00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:02,680 Speaker 10: you have fan groups or fan fiction groups or whatever. 529 00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:06,040 Speaker 10: It is something about them makes you feel like I 530 00:31:06,120 --> 00:31:09,560 Speaker 10: can do this right if I just keep going, if 531 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 10: I listen to the song away, do my applications, it'll 532 00:31:11,800 --> 00:31:13,320 Speaker 10: be okay, like something. 533 00:31:13,400 --> 00:31:18,040 Speaker 7: You know songs, but you know, I've been so emotional 534 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:20,840 Speaker 7: lately that I can't. I can, like listen to some 535 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 7: of their songs where they use like older recordings and 536 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,000 Speaker 7: then I'll start crying and I'm like, okay, I can't 537 00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:27,320 Speaker 7: do this application right now. 538 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:31,680 Speaker 10: I'm you emotional. Oh my god, that's okay, that's good, right, 539 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,440 Speaker 10: It's good to cry. It makes space. 540 00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 3: Chapter four, Okay, the sound of metal, the newest city because. 541 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,800 Speaker 10: Someone's gone is the run though the numbers gonna be 542 00:31:57,800 --> 00:32:01,280 Speaker 10: saying is the sounds like I'm opendstands. 543 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,200 Speaker 3: The fun One of the things I've been thinking about 544 00:32:02,360 --> 00:32:05,240 Speaker 3: is how in every generation it's a little easier to 545 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 3: fit in where it should be. 546 00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:10,480 Speaker 6: I mentioned to you, I've been in therapy for three years. 547 00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:12,440 Speaker 11: It's another reason why it's funny you're doing the show 548 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,920 Speaker 11: now because I can actually talk about a lot of 549 00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:18,240 Speaker 11: these things without getting emotional processed and healing. 550 00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 6: It's really nice. 551 00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:21,560 Speaker 3: My cousin a lot is five years older than me, 552 00:32:21,720 --> 00:32:25,120 Speaker 3: and even though it's only five years, that America he 553 00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:27,680 Speaker 3: grew up in was so much harder than the one 554 00:32:27,840 --> 00:32:28,760 Speaker 3: I experienced. 555 00:32:29,120 --> 00:32:31,400 Speaker 6: I remember they would literally say, oh, you're Indian. What 556 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:33,160 Speaker 6: tribe are you? Navajo Cherokee? 557 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 11: Yeah, you look at Indians in America now and we're 558 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:39,600 Speaker 11: the top eleven CEOs of the biggest eleven. 559 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:43,000 Speaker 12: Companies or whatever, and everybody in America is doing yoga 560 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:48,000 Speaker 12: and drinking chot Starbucks and there's never a problem knowing 561 00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:49,640 Speaker 12: like what tribe you are now? 562 00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,960 Speaker 6: You know, I say, we're the tribe that took over 563 00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 6: the world. 564 00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 3: Bro a Lot once told me, half jokingly, I'm like 565 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,920 Speaker 3: the coolest Indian you know, And he's right. I mean, 566 00:33:02,120 --> 00:33:03,480 Speaker 3: even his name is cool. 567 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 11: Basically, the beginning of an Indian classical piece, the musicians 568 00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,680 Speaker 11: are warming up and they're just kind of vamping out 569 00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:13,600 Speaker 11: on the three or four notes that they're going to 570 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,440 Speaker 11: be exploring in this piece. 571 00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:18,160 Speaker 6: That section is called the Alap. 572 00:33:18,640 --> 00:33:21,200 Speaker 11: It's strange that they knew I was going to go 573 00:33:21,280 --> 00:33:24,320 Speaker 11: into music, because it's basically like naming your kid improv 574 00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:24,920 Speaker 11: or something. 575 00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,640 Speaker 3: Ever since I've known him, he's been surrounded by tapes 576 00:33:28,760 --> 00:33:31,320 Speaker 3: and records, and by the time he was in college, 577 00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:35,000 Speaker 3: he was producing albums. His band dialect was kind of 578 00:33:35,080 --> 00:33:39,240 Speaker 3: like Public Enemy meets my Bloody Valentine. One time I 579 00:33:39,320 --> 00:33:41,360 Speaker 3: told a hip hop head that Alap was my cousin, 580 00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:45,520 Speaker 3: and he actually didn't believe me. I always just assumed 581 00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:46,600 Speaker 3: a lop had it easy. 582 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:48,120 Speaker 6: You don't want to. 583 00:33:48,120 --> 00:33:50,360 Speaker 11: See I think as soon as I got to New 584 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:52,920 Speaker 11: Jersey age six, nineteen eighty, and it was like a 585 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:53,520 Speaker 11: light switch. 586 00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,160 Speaker 6: The very first day of school it started. It was like, 587 00:33:57,240 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 6: I don't want to get. 588 00:33:57,920 --> 00:34:00,480 Speaker 3: To graphic, but tell me because I because I want to. 589 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:01,840 Speaker 3: I mean, I can always cut out shit. 590 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:04,120 Speaker 6: Sure, Okay, well you're gonna probably have to do some editing. 591 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,880 Speaker 11: From the age of basically six till about thirteen, I 592 00:34:12,960 --> 00:34:16,200 Speaker 11: can just remember every time I woke up in the morning, 593 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:17,560 Speaker 11: I had dread. 594 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,440 Speaker 6: You know, I had a massive anxiety. But we're Indians. 595 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:21,759 Speaker 6: We don't talk about it. We don't even know what 596 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,040 Speaker 6: that is. In nineteen eighty, right, I'm six years old. 597 00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 11: And basically as soon as I opened the door, girls 598 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:29,120 Speaker 11: are writing nick on my back. 599 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:31,680 Speaker 6: You know, I'm getting beat up. 600 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 11: Girls would spit on me, make fun of my clothes, 601 00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:37,359 Speaker 11: make fun of my lunch. I would throw my lunch 602 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,120 Speaker 11: out because my parents gave me tiffin boxes with Indian 603 00:34:40,160 --> 00:34:41,840 Speaker 11: food and these white people. 604 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,680 Speaker 6: Were eating balooni and cheese. And I literally would cry 605 00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:45,279 Speaker 6: every night. 606 00:34:46,120 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 3: And as a lot, dug deeper into music, finding solace 607 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:53,799 Speaker 3: and heavier and heavier sounds. It only gave the kids 608 00:34:53,840 --> 00:34:55,719 Speaker 3: at school another reason to pick on them. 609 00:34:56,280 --> 00:34:58,640 Speaker 11: Heavy metal Hindu is what they used to say when 610 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:01,000 Speaker 11: I would get on the bus because I think, like 611 00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:05,759 Speaker 11: age eleven, I started rocking. You know, I'd have like 612 00:35:05,840 --> 00:35:09,000 Speaker 11: a Metallica Master of Puppet shirt with a jean jacket, 613 00:35:09,400 --> 00:35:12,160 Speaker 11: but I would cut the sleeves off the jean jacket, 614 00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,840 Speaker 11: so I guess they wanted to clown me. 615 00:35:14,080 --> 00:35:17,360 Speaker 3: You know, the abuse was intense. They'd pull it his 616 00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:20,719 Speaker 3: shirt until it ripped. They tell him metal wasn't for him, 617 00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,360 Speaker 3: that not only did he not belong in town, but 618 00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:26,360 Speaker 3: he didn't belong as a fan. They told him he 619 00:35:26,440 --> 00:35:30,000 Speaker 3: wasn't allowed to have music, the one thing he truly loved. 620 00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:33,399 Speaker 11: That became a drive for me. And this is gonna 621 00:35:33,440 --> 00:35:36,640 Speaker 11: sound arrogant as hell, but it just gave me a catalyst. 622 00:35:36,719 --> 00:35:38,200 Speaker 11: I was like, you know what, I'm gonna do this 623 00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,440 Speaker 11: white boy shit harder than they can do it. I'm 624 00:35:40,440 --> 00:35:42,160 Speaker 11: gonna do it better, and I'm going to prove them 625 00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 11: all wrong. 626 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:48,800 Speaker 3: Punk hip hop. These were outsider scenes. It wasn't just 627 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:51,120 Speaker 3: that a lot had this knack of knowing what's next. 628 00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:54,240 Speaker 3: It's also that he felt safer in these places. 629 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:58,759 Speaker 11: We didn't have a community where we felt safe just 630 00:35:58,840 --> 00:36:01,480 Speaker 11: being our Indian Souf. You know, we felt safe at 631 00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,200 Speaker 11: the punk rock shows. We felt safe at the hip 632 00:36:04,239 --> 00:36:07,840 Speaker 11: hop spots, breakdancing, we felt safe with the skateboarders in 633 00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:10,279 Speaker 11: those scenes. Back then, you hung out with a bunch 634 00:36:10,320 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 11: of non Indians and figured out a way to survive. 635 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 3: And as much as music gave him an outlet, it 636 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:17,480 Speaker 3: was also a coping mechanism. 637 00:36:17,680 --> 00:36:19,359 Speaker 6: I used to tour ten months of the year. 638 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:21,319 Speaker 11: I used to work twenty hours a day and never 639 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,720 Speaker 11: stop because I didn't want to deal with my present. 640 00:36:25,160 --> 00:36:28,000 Speaker 11: So I became kind of a workholic and it fueled 641 00:36:28,040 --> 00:36:30,040 Speaker 11: my entire career until I was thirty five. 642 00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,000 Speaker 6: So I started to notice my mind is present. 643 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:36,839 Speaker 3: I feel really good now I'm starting to e I can. 644 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,919 Speaker 11: Talk about these horrifying experiences and not even cry. 645 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,160 Speaker 6: I feel like the universe gets me. And I know 646 00:36:43,239 --> 00:36:43,879 Speaker 6: this sounds real. 647 00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:47,320 Speaker 3: New ag or whatever, but I mean, it's an astrology podcast. 648 00:36:47,040 --> 00:36:47,120 Speaker 7: So. 649 00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:53,000 Speaker 11: All right, you're talking about all these things happen internally 650 00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,000 Speaker 11: as well as in the universe. 651 00:36:55,040 --> 00:36:58,600 Speaker 6: It's really strange, you know. And then we're musicians, right, 652 00:36:58,719 --> 00:37:03,000 Speaker 6: so you're talking about repetition, petition, petition, petition, groops, groops. 653 00:37:03,239 --> 00:37:05,239 Speaker 6: I mean I grew up on hip hop club music. 654 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:08,560 Speaker 11: So you're talking about orbits here, orbits here, orbits you know, 655 00:37:08,680 --> 00:37:09,520 Speaker 11: you're talking about rythms. 656 00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:11,960 Speaker 6: We're talking about vibrations. You know, shoved. 657 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,920 Speaker 11: The Hindu said it in the first element in creation, 658 00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:17,400 Speaker 11: when the Big bang happened. 659 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:26,440 Speaker 3: Bangen was sound, that primordial sound its own. Maybe you've 660 00:37:26,440 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 3: heard it chanted at a yoga class, or you've seen 661 00:37:29,280 --> 00:37:34,319 Speaker 3: it printed on a tea label, but that drone, it's 662 00:37:34,360 --> 00:37:37,280 Speaker 3: supposed to connect us to the divine, like a direct 663 00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:42,600 Speaker 3: line to the essence of the universe. Allop's music has 664 00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:46,960 Speaker 3: always built off this constant humming sound. However heavy the 665 00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:53,840 Speaker 3: music gets, that scaffolding always connects back. It's like a 666 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:58,319 Speaker 3: subtle fu Like, how could anyone ever tell a lot 667 00:37:58,480 --> 00:38:02,880 Speaker 3: he doesn't belong in this scene when his music is 668 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:25,760 Speaker 3: literally universal? Chapter five, This is how you belong waking 669 00:38:25,880 --> 00:38:28,200 Speaker 3: up when people sleep and sleep. Michelle and I are 670 00:38:28,239 --> 00:38:30,440 Speaker 3: chatting on zoom and I'm trying to gauge how the 671 00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:31,400 Speaker 3: reading struck her. 672 00:38:32,160 --> 00:38:36,600 Speaker 7: I have always been like a super skeptic, but in 673 00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:39,920 Speaker 7: the moment, I was like, shoot man, Like I definitely 674 00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:42,360 Speaker 7: took everything to heart that she was saying. She started 675 00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,400 Speaker 7: talking about BTS going through a tough time. 676 00:38:44,280 --> 00:38:49,120 Speaker 13: And I was like, oh no, no, what was she 677 00:38:49,200 --> 00:38:52,600 Speaker 13: saying about applying to schools and a possible WAW career. 678 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,640 Speaker 7: I mean part of it is, you know, we talked 679 00:38:56,680 --> 00:39:00,239 Speaker 7: about the potential of a jdphd program and kind of 680 00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:02,600 Speaker 7: gave me a little kick in the butt and was like, listen, 681 00:39:02,680 --> 00:39:04,920 Speaker 7: you need to be courageous because that is what your 682 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:07,160 Speaker 7: chart was telling you to do. If it's right for you, 683 00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:09,160 Speaker 7: you just got to do it, even if it's like 684 00:39:09,360 --> 00:39:10,120 Speaker 7: nerve wracking. 685 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:14,080 Speaker 13: Prior to this, I know that when Vihania we're talking, 686 00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,680 Speaker 13: she had said that you are super smart, but were 687 00:39:17,800 --> 00:39:20,480 Speaker 13: like hesitant to apply to law school and everyone was 688 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:22,640 Speaker 13: like you need to apply already, Like you have to 689 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:23,880 Speaker 13: get on with the application. 690 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:26,279 Speaker 6: So what was going on? Then? 691 00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 7: Before I graduated college, I was a lot more sure about, 692 00:39:34,120 --> 00:39:37,680 Speaker 7: like law is the path that I'm going on. After 693 00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:43,200 Speaker 7: my cousin got really really sick with cancer, and then 694 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:47,040 Speaker 7: my grandparents, who had been living with us, ended up 695 00:39:47,239 --> 00:39:50,799 Speaker 7: returning to China, and you know, we knew they would 696 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:53,680 Speaker 7: be coming back, and then my brother was having a 697 00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:54,759 Speaker 7: really hard time with all of it. 698 00:39:56,120 --> 00:39:59,319 Speaker 3: Of course, Michelle couldn't focus on applying or even think 699 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:03,440 Speaker 3: about moving on way. Michelle is all about family, She 700 00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:04,200 Speaker 3: lives her. 701 00:40:04,239 --> 00:40:06,080 Speaker 13: Values, all of those things. 702 00:40:06,360 --> 00:40:09,239 Speaker 7: Those ambitions felt so far away, while like all of 703 00:40:09,360 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 7: the really really like hard shit I had to like 704 00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:13,759 Speaker 7: witness every night. 705 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:19,080 Speaker 3: Whatever quality is, Michelle sees an army, whatever solace she 706 00:40:19,160 --> 00:40:22,560 Speaker 3: gets from this community of fans beyond the music, this 707 00:40:22,760 --> 00:40:25,799 Speaker 3: feeling that BTS is looking out for her, that it's 708 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:29,120 Speaker 3: a culture where everyone belongs, that there's an emphasis on 709 00:40:29,280 --> 00:40:33,799 Speaker 3: showing up and being kind. It brings out the best 710 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:34,120 Speaker 3: in her. 711 00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,640 Speaker 7: I think I needed the time to like grow and 712 00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:40,960 Speaker 7: figure out how to bring like all of these different 713 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:42,320 Speaker 7: pieces of my life together. 714 00:40:46,560 --> 00:40:48,839 Speaker 3: I'm thinking back on a story from when we first met. 715 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,399 Speaker 3: She told me about this time she and her best 716 00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:55,320 Speaker 3: friend travel to la to attend a BTS concert, and 717 00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:58,120 Speaker 3: just as they walk into the venue, Michelle spots an 718 00:40:58,200 --> 00:41:02,200 Speaker 3: older woman a few sections over who looks petrified. 719 00:41:02,400 --> 00:41:05,840 Speaker 7: Right, she very much look like an Asian granny. I 720 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,880 Speaker 7: would help any granny, but like especially when it's an 721 00:41:07,880 --> 00:41:09,680 Speaker 7: Asian grandma who looks like my own grandma, I'm like, 722 00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:10,920 Speaker 7: oh my god, we have to go help her. 723 00:41:11,400 --> 00:41:14,400 Speaker 3: They go over ask if she's all right, and she's like. 724 00:41:14,520 --> 00:41:16,760 Speaker 7: My seats are up there. I came all by myself, 725 00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,160 Speaker 7: but I'm too scared to go up because I didn't 726 00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:20,200 Speaker 7: realize it would be so high. 727 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:24,239 Speaker 3: So Michelle, being Michelle, walks the sweet grandma all the 728 00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:27,239 Speaker 3: way up the steep staircase, and before she and her 729 00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:29,920 Speaker 3: friend leave, they make the woman a promise. 730 00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 7: At the end of the show, just sit in your spot, 731 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:34,040 Speaker 7: hang out, and we'll walk you back down. 732 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:37,360 Speaker 3: Then they find their seats and enjoy the concert, or 733 00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:42,640 Speaker 3: try to. They can't stop worrying. Every few minutes they 734 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,600 Speaker 3: look over to check on Grandma, and it turns out 735 00:41:46,600 --> 00:41:47,919 Speaker 3: there is no need. 736 00:41:48,400 --> 00:41:49,360 Speaker 7: She was doing just fine. 737 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,920 Speaker 3: She is having the time of her life. She's vibing 738 00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:58,240 Speaker 3: and dancing and making friends with other armies. 739 00:41:58,760 --> 00:42:01,040 Speaker 7: After the show, we all walked down together and were talking, 740 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:04,080 Speaker 7: and she told us that she flew by herself from Vegas. 741 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:10,040 Speaker 7: So I was like, oh my god, Grandma, to. 742 00:42:10,160 --> 00:42:13,920 Speaker 3: Me, this is the opposite of a lop story. Michelle 743 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:17,160 Speaker 3: spotted an older woman who is clearly a BTS fan, 744 00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:22,279 Speaker 3: and instead of saying you don't belong, she welcomed her. 745 00:42:23,440 --> 00:42:28,640 Speaker 3: Even if BTS doesn't stay together, they've already built something lasting. 746 00:42:29,080 --> 00:42:31,680 Speaker 7: I still believe in my heart of hearts, BTS is 747 00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:33,320 Speaker 7: not going to pick up because they're not just a 748 00:42:33,360 --> 00:42:36,560 Speaker 7: group of their teams. Their family and family stay together, 749 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:37,920 Speaker 7: Ohanna and everything. 750 00:42:40,360 --> 00:42:42,840 Speaker 3: I don't get any of Michelle's boy band references, but 751 00:42:43,400 --> 00:42:47,000 Speaker 3: I do know o'hanna because I love that line in 752 00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:51,320 Speaker 3: Leelo and Stitch, where Leelo says o'hanna means family and 753 00:42:51,520 --> 00:42:56,240 Speaker 3: family means no one gets left behind. Because in a sense, 754 00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:01,200 Speaker 3: everything Michelle cares about is family. The little tribe she 755 00:43:01,320 --> 00:43:05,360 Speaker 3: has in her home, the much bigger one she has online. 756 00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,840 Speaker 7: I think it comes out of just me wanting to 757 00:43:08,920 --> 00:43:11,759 Speaker 7: learn more about the world so that I can make 758 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,319 Speaker 7: it suck a little bit less. 759 00:43:14,440 --> 00:43:18,760 Speaker 3: Look, I haven't been recruited to army, but I'm still 760 00:43:18,840 --> 00:43:23,080 Speaker 3: glad BTS success. I mean, why wouldn't we want a 761 00:43:23,120 --> 00:43:26,640 Speaker 3: world full of BTS's of all kinds, reminding us that 762 00:43:26,760 --> 00:43:30,879 Speaker 3: we all matter, especially if we get a world full 763 00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:56,719 Speaker 3: of Michelle's out of it God uh ben Eyah. 764 00:43:58,239 --> 00:44:10,560 Speaker 14: Guidh in Ia, Siva cony swoo, Shiva cony swoot. 765 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,120 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for listening. Before I let you go, 766 00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:20,640 Speaker 3: just a few housekeeping notes. One my friend Sybil listened 767 00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:23,000 Speaker 3: to the Reagan episode and then she sent me this 768 00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:26,040 Speaker 3: incredible quote from the New York Times which I just 769 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,680 Speaker 3: have to share. It goes quote after mister Reagan divulged 770 00:44:29,680 --> 00:44:34,560 Speaker 3: Miss Quigley's astrological role, missus Reagan never spoke to her again. 771 00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,840 Speaker 3: Miss quigglely likened the slight to buying a Picasso, putting 772 00:44:38,880 --> 00:44:42,480 Speaker 3: it in your living room and putting tape over the signature, 773 00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:47,480 Speaker 3: which is incredible. And second, you know, I do not 774 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:51,840 Speaker 3: believe in astrology, but our house astrologer, Janelle Belgrave predicted 775 00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:55,160 Speaker 3: this show would be delivered in two parts, and that's 776 00:44:55,200 --> 00:44:58,879 Speaker 3: exactly what's happening. My other astrologer, doctor Kamara, said things 777 00:44:58,920 --> 00:45:02,000 Speaker 3: will get way better for this show after January eighteenth. 778 00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:05,600 Speaker 3: So we are following the stars. We're taking a break 779 00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,760 Speaker 3: for the holidays, throwing you a few super fun bonus 780 00:45:08,840 --> 00:45:12,120 Speaker 3: episodes in between, and then we will be back with 781 00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:16,360 Speaker 3: the second half of Skyline Drive starting mid January. But 782 00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:19,960 Speaker 3: if you like the show, please please review it in 783 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:23,080 Speaker 3: the Apple Store. It makes our moms and us and 784 00:45:23,200 --> 00:45:27,480 Speaker 3: our investors all very very happy. Okay, that's it for 785 00:45:27,520 --> 00:45:38,240 Speaker 3: the updates. Anna hit me with some new music. Nice 786 00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:43,239 Speaker 3: Skyline Drive is a production of Kaleidoscope and iHeart Podcast. 787 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:45,960 Speaker 3: This show is hosted and written by me Mongish Heatiku. 788 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:48,400 Speaker 3: But this show would not have made it to your 789 00:45:48,480 --> 00:45:51,040 Speaker 3: ears if a whole bunch of people weren't carrying me. 790 00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:55,080 Speaker 3: Starting with Mary Philip Sandy, our supervising producer. I am 791 00:45:55,239 --> 00:45:57,480 Speaker 3: not going to join army, but if someone starts a 792 00:45:57,520 --> 00:46:01,360 Speaker 3: maryps fan club, you know I'm in Beatu Pinshahi is 793 00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:04,280 Speaker 3: our wonderful senior producer. Instead of so many of these interviews, 794 00:46:04,560 --> 00:46:07,600 Speaker 3: Mark Latto is the very best story editor who took 795 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:09,880 Speaker 3: my jumbled mess of words and created a story out 796 00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,040 Speaker 3: of it, even though he edited out the bits about 797 00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,279 Speaker 3: Nickelodeon and Doubledare You can ask me about those later. 798 00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:16,600 Speaker 6: This episode was. 799 00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:20,319 Speaker 3: Also produced and mixed by the insanely talented Anna Rubinova, 800 00:46:20,640 --> 00:46:24,640 Speaker 3: with scoring as always from Botany. Check out his SoundCloud. 801 00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:27,360 Speaker 3: I need to thank my son Henry, who jumped on 802 00:46:27,440 --> 00:46:29,920 Speaker 3: the mic for the warning. He doesn't have a SoundCloud yet, 803 00:46:30,040 --> 00:46:32,759 Speaker 3: but look for a new year or two. It's coming. 804 00:46:33,400 --> 00:46:36,080 Speaker 3: My big cousin Alop is just the best. You can 805 00:46:36,200 --> 00:46:39,000 Speaker 3: check out all his latest work at Internet andweed dot com. 806 00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:39,680 Speaker 6: That's right. 807 00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:43,400 Speaker 3: His label is called Internet and Weed and the music 808 00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:46,360 Speaker 3: is dope. Speaking of incredible music, got to thank my 809 00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:51,759 Speaker 3: friends at Azadi Records, Mumba's hottest label, also my Palhens 810 00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:54,919 Speaker 3: and my sister Shantahtiguler for her budgets which she sang 811 00:46:54,960 --> 00:46:57,759 Speaker 3: on this as always will link to our mixtapes in 812 00:46:57,880 --> 00:47:00,680 Speaker 3: the show notes. Oh and I I'm also going to 813 00:47:00,719 --> 00:47:03,960 Speaker 3: link to all the astrologers in this broadcast, doctor Vivia 814 00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:07,560 Speaker 3: the numerologist. She was so kind and so wonderful and 815 00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,560 Speaker 3: she gave me so much of her time. Janelle Belgrave 816 00:47:10,680 --> 00:47:14,920 Speaker 3: who we love here, Sesar and Andrea, the incredible baseball astrologers, 817 00:47:15,160 --> 00:47:19,080 Speaker 3: and of course the delightful doctor Kumar. Additional production and 818 00:47:19,160 --> 00:47:22,920 Speaker 3: research support from the wonderful Drew of Chivarral, Lizzie Jacobs, 819 00:47:23,080 --> 00:47:26,560 Speaker 3: my beautiful wife someone the most talented person I know, Bukshie, 820 00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:31,000 Speaker 3: and my cousin Argin Buckshee. This show is executive produced 821 00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:34,720 Speaker 3: from iHeart On, my good pals, making Etour and Katrina Norvel. 822 00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,520 Speaker 3: Also got to thank my partners from Kaleidoscope who were 823 00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:42,319 Speaker 3: all okay with me taking this break, Oswa Lishan, Kate Osborne, 824 00:47:42,440 --> 00:47:46,399 Speaker 3: Costas Lina's and Vami Shoi. Special thanks to my friends 825 00:47:46,440 --> 00:47:50,880 Speaker 3: at iHeart, Shantan Soa, Rachel Strom, my family everywhere, and 826 00:47:51,320 --> 00:47:54,440 Speaker 3: as always a big thank you to my Amma and 827 00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:58,000 Speaker 3: my dad, Lalita and MJ who I thank my lucky 828 00:47:58,160 --> 00:48:02,279 Speaker 3: stars for. You have so many podcasts to choose from. 829 00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:04,560 Speaker 3: I just want to say thank you for listening. 830 00:48:04,800 --> 00:48:07,279 Speaker 1: Hold them demons in my head to take me over 831 00:48:07,400 --> 00:48:09,879 Speaker 1: to ity case sleeve away from this world. 832 00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:11,840 Speaker 6: I hold my life gets back up by. 833 00:48:11,880 --> 00:48:14,560 Speaker 1: Learned the lessons I was ye on my money way to. 834 00:48:14,719 --> 00:48:16,000 Speaker 6: The face to take your hands. 835 00:48:16,080 --> 00:48:18,680 Speaker 1: That's why I don't From my chophy stag to the guy, 836 00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:21,399 Speaker 1: told them demons in my head to take me over 837 00:48:21,560 --> 00:48:23,960 Speaker 1: toy case sleeve away from this world. 838 00:48:24,040 --> 00:48:25,759 Speaker 6: I hold my life gets back o Bay