WEBVTT - “I RAN AWAY TO JOIN THE CIRCUS” 0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:02.560 Hey, folks, it's Lyle. Before we get into the episode, 0:00:02.640 --> 0:00:04.440 I wanted to talk to you guys about a new 0:00:04.519 --> 0:00:07.880 thing I'm doing where you can help support my lizard 0:00:08.119 --> 0:00:12.680 endeavors by becoming a premium member of this podcast over 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:17.400 at Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot com. Premium members, or 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:20.479 gek Legends as I call them, we'll be able to 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:24.360 get every new and existing episode of Therapy Gecko completely 0:00:24.440 --> 0:00:27.720 ad free. They'll also get a bonus podcast episode once 0:00:27.720 --> 0:00:30.840 a month, a bonus live show episode once a month 0:00:30.880 --> 0:00:33.240 from all of the live shows I've been doing around 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:36.200 the world, a member's only live stream once a month. 0:00:36.360 --> 0:00:39.960 Plus you'll also support my ability to continue, hopefully doing 0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:43.000 this podcast for a long time, doing it around the world, 0:00:43.360 --> 0:00:47.919 and also supporting my ability to occasionally go eat a 0:00:48.040 --> 0:00:52.720 slice of pizza. Go to Therapy Gecko dot supercast dot 0:00:52.760 --> 0:00:55.560 com or find the link in the episode description to 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:59.520 become a gek Legend Today. All right, let's get into 0:00:59.520 --> 0:00:59.960 the episode. 0:01:00.840 --> 0:01:02.320 Hello, Hey, what's up Love? 0:01:02.400 --> 0:01:04.040 How's it going? Is this Will this? 0:01:04.160 --> 0:01:04.600 As well? 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.360 What is happening in the universe? 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:13.200 Will Man? There's so many things happening, so many things happening, 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:19.959 and I have a big dilemma, which is do I 0:01:20.000 --> 0:01:22.640 talk to you about the life I had more the 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:23.640 one I have now? 0:01:25.319 --> 0:01:26.960 Well, I mean, why don't you tell me a little 0:01:27.000 --> 0:01:28.959 bit about both if you if you want, of. 0:01:28.880 --> 0:01:41.320 Course, yeah, for sure. So let's see. I guess the 0:01:41.640 --> 0:01:47.000 most interesting part of my past is when I literally 0:01:47.200 --> 0:01:48.760 ran away with the circus. 0:01:50.360 --> 0:01:51.080 How old are you in that? 0:01:53.440 --> 0:02:00.320 I was nineteen And just to preface this really quick, 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:06.320 what happened was my dad had died a few years earlier. 0:02:06.760 --> 0:02:15.320 This is back in ninety eight, ninety nine, and my 0:02:15.360 --> 0:02:19.160 mom had remarried some guy really quickly, you know, like 0:02:19.200 --> 0:02:22.640 some blasphem passed. And I was nineteen years old, still 0:02:22.639 --> 0:02:27.560 living at home my little brother, and just started button 0:02:27.600 --> 0:02:31.680 heads with the new husband, and they just wanted me gone. 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:35.280 And I was between jobs, and I was opening up 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:39.200 the classifieds one day, you know, the old the old 0:02:39.240 --> 0:02:41.919 way in which we used to do with actual newspapers. 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:46.000 And I want to say, there was a good quarter 0:02:46.120 --> 0:02:51.600 page ad for the Ringling Brothers in Garden my Bailey Circus, 0:02:51.680 --> 0:02:56.560 and I was like, what the hell is this? And 0:02:56.600 --> 0:03:01.360 it had all kinds of jobs, you know, like animal handlers, 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:05.840 you know, veterinarians, you know, uh just on and on on, 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:10.080 but uh you know, and and uh my mom and 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:12.760 knew the husband walked in and I was like, guys, 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:14.600 what the hell is this? You have to look at this, 0:03:15.280 --> 0:03:17.160 and you know, we had like a laugh for like 0:03:18.240 --> 0:03:22.000 ten seconds, right, but then they were like, well maybe 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:25.720 you should do it. And I was like like what 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:28.640 are you talking about? You know, like are you insane? 0:03:29.360 --> 0:03:33.480 And I mean more or less, I'll just give you 0:03:33.520 --> 0:03:35.920 the quick version. I mean, they just wanted me gone, 0:03:36.000 --> 0:03:41.400 like I said, and I very shortly, you know, for 0:03:41.520 --> 0:03:44.400 lack of other options and what to do you know 0:03:44.480 --> 0:03:48.960 in life, even just went down there to see what 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:51.360 was going on and I got hired right away and 0:03:51.400 --> 0:03:54.680 within a couple of days I was gone and on 0:03:54.760 --> 0:04:01.720 the road. So yeah, I linked up with the legit 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:06.400 Ringling Brothers Barnum and Valley Circus for about a year. Actually, 0:04:06.440 --> 0:04:08.040 I think it was a year to the date I 0:04:08.120 --> 0:04:08.840 was with them. 0:04:09.800 --> 0:04:14.040 M hm. And what was that time like for you? 0:04:18.360 --> 0:04:24.279 It started off very just like wow, man, I'm doing 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:27.800 something really wild. This is something you know, once in 0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:31.599 a lifetime maybe not even that you know chance, you know, 0:04:31.680 --> 0:04:35.479 to actually do something crazy like this. But I thought 0:04:35.560 --> 0:04:37.760 as just a way to travel a lot, you know, 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:41.600 and to see different things. But so it started off 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:44.359 very much, you know, like oh this is a new adventure, 0:04:46.279 --> 0:04:51.680 you know, meeting crazy people doing crazy things. But you know, 0:04:53.560 --> 0:04:58.520 as time went by, you know, being completely isolated, living 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:02.840 on a train, working eighty hours hard labor, you know, 0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:07.880 every almost every day, you know, it just really got 0:05:07.920 --> 0:05:11.680 to me. So, you know, I want to say close 0:05:11.720 --> 0:05:14.279 within you know, a month or two before I actually left, 0:05:14.320 --> 0:05:20.640 I was in a really bad statement depression. And you know, 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:22.719 it's very hard to sleep on a train, you know, 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:25.800 even when it's at a standstill, because things are always 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:28.640 bumping the damn train, you know, and all the train 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:31.200 cars are going boom boom, boom boom, you know and 0:05:31.360 --> 0:05:34.279 moving around all the time. It's it's very hard to sleep. 0:05:34.360 --> 0:05:37.919 So you know, it was it was hard. It was 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:40.800 really really hard. You know, I'm glad I did it, 0:05:40.839 --> 0:05:45.560 but it was you know, it was not fun. 0:05:47.080 --> 0:05:49.040 And how long did you say total? You were doing 0:05:49.080 --> 0:05:49.360 that for. 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:54.880 One year to the date, one year? 0:05:55.760 --> 0:05:58.479 And what did you do when you got out? And 0:05:58.560 --> 0:06:01.039 you were about how old then? As well? 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:09.520 I was twenty one when I got out. Okay, yeah, 0:06:10.400 --> 0:06:13.680 so I was well asking myself, I'm like, well, how 0:06:13.680 --> 0:06:19.640 do I translate like these like skills, which was basically 0:06:19.720 --> 0:06:27.400 setting up a whole production, you know, running props, running cables, rigging, 0:06:27.720 --> 0:06:29.640 you know, sitting up the trusting and like, well, how 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:32.520 does this How does this apply to my next thing? 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:34.800 You know, And like, I don't know how this is 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:37.760 going to work out, but it did. And I actually 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:43.279 got a job. Since I live in SoCal, I got 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:47.440 a job with a lighting company that does stage lighting 0:06:47.680 --> 0:06:53.279 and mostly in the music industry. So yeah, after I 0:06:53.360 --> 0:06:57.040 left that, I basically became a roadie and I traveled 0:06:57.040 --> 0:06:59.800 with a bunch of bands and did a lot of 0:06:59.800 --> 0:07:02.680 cool stuff for I don't want to say another three 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:03.479 years after that. 0:07:05.760 --> 0:07:09.240 M And so you say that there's a there's a 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:13.960 strong dichotomy between your life then and your life now 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.280 because you you came in here asking which one you 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:19.640 should tell me about. What do you think are those 0:07:19.680 --> 0:07:20.960 big differences? 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:31.280 Well, I'm like, honestly, I'm definitely back in like a 0:07:31.320 --> 0:07:37.160 depressive state just because of the way things have gone, 0:07:37.640 --> 0:07:41.960 you know. I uh, I like had these incredibly adventurous 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:45.760 jobs when I was young, in my twenties, you know, 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:50.400 and then you know, got married and then was trying 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:51.800 to figure out, Okay, well what do I do with 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:54.520 the rest of my life now? Because she was not 0:07:55.280 --> 0:08:00.280 loving this whole like road life thing. So I did, 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:01.680 like what I was supposed to do, Like I went 0:08:01.680 --> 0:08:06.040 to college, got a bunch of bloring office jobs, you know, 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:13.480 and completely forsake like, you know, my god given talents 0:08:13.520 --> 0:08:17.040 and just did you know what we're told to do 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.960 is you know, adults, it's just like, you know, go 0:08:20.080 --> 0:08:22.640 for money, you know, and just try and let the 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:26.320 you know, American dream and all that. So long story short, 0:08:26.480 --> 0:08:30.760 you know, I had a divorce a couple of years 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.600 back and lost everything you know that I had worked 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:37.720 you know, twenty years for you know, the home you know, 0:08:37.800 --> 0:08:44.360 and then everything else. So I am back kind of 0:08:44.440 --> 0:08:47.320 like square one, you know, and it's a weird place 0:08:47.360 --> 0:08:50.520 to be at forty four. It's a really weird place. 0:08:50.559 --> 0:08:55.000 And especially in the year twenty twenty three, you know, 0:08:55.080 --> 0:09:00.960 it's like things have changed a lot. So that's where 0:09:00.960 --> 0:09:01.800 I'm at right now. 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:04.560 So how when when did you say this divorce. 0:09:04.360 --> 0:09:10.080 Was uh twenty one, twenty twenty. 0:09:09.760 --> 0:09:14.400 One, And in the past two years have you been 0:09:14.679 --> 0:09:17.080 out there trying to date anyone or do anything like that. 0:09:19.280 --> 0:09:25.120 Yeah, actually that's kind of where my therapy needs is 0:09:25.200 --> 0:09:32.600 right now. I yes, I definitely dated a string of women, 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:38.200 got back out there and just quickly learned, you know, 0:09:38.320 --> 0:09:43.080 like the whole games people play these days, and like 0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:46.880 the lifestyles of people live these days, and I just 0:09:46.920 --> 0:09:50.640 feel like a relicive. I feel like, yeah, go. 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:52.360 Into that for me real quick. The games that it 0:09:52.400 --> 0:09:54.600 will play and the lifestyles. What do you tell me, 0:09:54.920 --> 0:09:56.719 because I assume what you mean is you're on the 0:09:56.800 --> 0:09:59.400 dating apps and you're seeing some stuff that makes you 0:09:59.440 --> 0:10:02.720 feel like I mean, people have been calling into this 0:10:02.760 --> 0:10:07.800 show talking about polyamory and uh, you know, booming dogs 0:10:07.840 --> 0:10:11.360 and sex dungeons and all sorts of things where I'm like, yeah, 0:10:11.400 --> 0:10:15.200 I could see if I were you, you know, getting 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:17.640 back out there being feeling like you were a relic 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:20.080 of the past. But from your perspective, what what have 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:21.720 you seen that has made you feel that way? 0:10:25.679 --> 0:10:28.000 Like the first thing on top of my head is 0:10:28.040 --> 0:10:34.720 just the shallowness of people these days. The you know, 0:10:36.360 --> 0:10:40.200 like I was brought up where like, you know, you 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:45.800 would pick a girl up on a day, you know, uh, 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:49.880 you know, take her out, you know, kiss at the 0:10:49.960 --> 0:10:52.040 end of the night and then you know, you know, 0:10:52.080 --> 0:10:54.520 you might sleep together after three days or something like that. 0:10:54.960 --> 0:11:00.080 Like that was, you know, the the ftatus quo. So 0:11:00.280 --> 0:11:02.080 these days, I mean, people are giving it out on 0:11:02.080 --> 0:11:06.000 the first date and saying but they want a long 0:11:06.080 --> 0:11:11.080 term relationship, and it just seems like people are really 0:11:11.080 --> 0:11:13.800 confused about what they actually want, you know, and. 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.880 Let me ask well, let me ask you this first. 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:18.840 Are you on the are you on Tinder? What are 0:11:18.840 --> 0:11:19.360 you on. 0:11:21.000 --> 0:11:24.160 I have honestly, I've used all the apps at one point. 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:26.920 When you're on the apps? What age range are you? 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:27.880 Are you looking at here? 0:11:30.640 --> 0:11:33.080 I have done I want to say thirty to forty 0:11:33.080 --> 0:11:36.040 four or maybe forty five. Even so, I mean I 0:11:36.040 --> 0:11:38.640 would I wouldn't mind dating someone one or two years 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:40.319 older than me. That's fine, It's not a big deal 0:11:40.360 --> 0:11:41.400 of my age, okay. 0:11:41.400 --> 0:11:47.880 Right, all right? And so you're you're hmmm, and so 0:11:48.040 --> 0:11:52.120 you're feeling is there's a lot of shallowness. How many 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:56.480 people have you actually like? Were you able to actually 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:57.920 go on dates with anybody? 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:04.520 Oh? Yeah, yeah, I've dated quite a few, probably at 0:12:04.600 --> 0:12:05.080 least eight. 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:13.719 You're on eight dates between uh now and when you 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:14.400 got divorced. 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:19.360 Yeah, I've dated probably they know what very was there 0:12:19.920 --> 0:12:23.280 was there a common theme as to why none of 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:28.200 those worked out for you. 0:12:28.280 --> 0:12:37.200 Basically, like what I've been seeing is people are out 0:12:37.200 --> 0:12:40.160 there saying, oh, they want to meet their partner, you know, 0:12:40.200 --> 0:12:42.920 they want to they want you know, their soulmate, they 0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:51.800 want the long term relationship. And then you, you know, 0:12:51.880 --> 0:12:54.200 you're you're telling them, okay, well you want the same things. 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:57.600 So we're on the same page, right, Spend a week 0:12:57.720 --> 0:13:01.920 or two talking to these people, finding out everything about them, 0:13:02.000 --> 0:13:05.240 they find everything about you. It's exhausting. And then you 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:08.360 meet up and then you go on several dates and 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:13.560 then they're just like, well, you know, you know, maybe 0:13:13.559 --> 0:13:15.760 I don't want to be in a relationship right now. 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.800 So you're like, what was that all about? Like why 0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:21.280 did I just waste all this time and energy? And 0:13:21.520 --> 0:13:23.640 I'm telling you it's happened over and over and over 0:13:23.640 --> 0:13:27.160 and over again. But I didn't meet. Unfortunately, one girl 0:13:28.400 --> 0:13:36.800 that I fell in love with, and unfortunately she's a 0:13:36.840 --> 0:13:38.880 textbook narcissist. 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:41.080 Now what makes you say that? 0:13:42.880 --> 0:13:45.640 Uh, okay, well this isn't just a girl and she's 0:13:45.720 --> 0:13:48.640 my own age. By the way, She isn't just somebody 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:50.640 that takes a lot of selfies and is like, oh, 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:53.200 I look so pretty. She's not bad looking, but you 0:13:53.240 --> 0:13:55.800 know it's a little overboard, you know. 0:13:55.880 --> 0:13:58.760 Okay, But. 0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:05.160 What makes me say that is she seems to keep 0:14:05.160 --> 0:14:09.240 a lot of secrets. It's never completely forthcoming, you know. 0:14:09.280 --> 0:14:11.680 And I've asked her straight up, would you be my girlfriend? 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:15.800 She'd be like yes, But then come to find out, well, 0:14:15.840 --> 0:14:17.600 she's still talking to a lot of people on the 0:14:17.679 --> 0:14:23.080 side and keeping things secret. And then you know, out 0:14:23.120 --> 0:14:25.960 of nowhere, she'll do a breakup and be like, well, 0:14:25.960 --> 0:14:28.760 I'm going to step away for a while. You know, 0:14:29.600 --> 0:14:32.600 maybe we'll meet up again. And you're like, wait, will 0:14:33.320 --> 0:14:33.560 you know? 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:37.720 And this? Yeah, and do this is the whole thing. 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:39.200 And if you don't want to get into it, we toil. 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:44.400 They don't have to, but like, yeah, what what do 0:14:44.440 --> 0:14:46.840 you think was the cause of your divorce? 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:55.120 The cause of my divorce honestly was we both married 0:14:55.120 --> 0:15:02.720 each other too young and did not didn't not so 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:05.240 oats you know, so to speak. 0:15:05.440 --> 0:15:06.080 And. 0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:13.080 I don't regret it. We had an amazing child, you know, 0:15:13.120 --> 0:15:17.160 from that marriage, and accomplished a lot, but you know, 0:15:17.280 --> 0:15:24.280 just time definitely revealed, you know, that we were not compatible, 0:15:24.640 --> 0:15:30.160 you know, in several ways, and I think that was 0:15:31.000 --> 0:15:34.560 just honestly, definitely the cause of it is just being 0:15:34.600 --> 0:15:40.640 married too young, too early and not having you know, 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:43.120 really gone out there and seeing what's out there. 0:15:45.440 --> 0:15:47.400 Well, it's it's interesting to me that you say that, 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:49.760 because that is a totally how old were you when 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:50.320 you got married. 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.920 We started seeing each other when I was twenty two, 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:58.320 we got married at twenty four. 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:01.960 Okay, so he is a marriage. It's it's pretty that's 0:16:02.000 --> 0:16:04.200 a solid run. That's a good run. 0:16:04.640 --> 0:16:05.800 It's a solid run. 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:10.040 Oh, it's a real good run. That's a real solid run. 0:16:10.240 --> 0:16:12.520 But now you're back out there and your nick you 0:16:12.520 --> 0:16:16.280 you're like, oh, yeah, dating, dating, by the way, you know, 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:18.760 I it sucks for everybody. It sucks for guys, it 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:21.720 sucks for girls. It sucks if you're young. It sucks 0:16:21.720 --> 0:16:26.840 if you're older. Actually that's not true, if you are no, 0:16:26.960 --> 0:16:32.240 if you're actually, if you're young and really really attractive, 0:16:33.800 --> 0:16:40.080 it's probably but I wouldn't know. So, yeah, it sucks 0:16:40.120 --> 0:16:44.160 out there. So what about what's going on in the 0:16:44.200 --> 0:16:47.040 rest of your life? The professional life. Let's talk about that. 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:49.200 Let's get a let's get a well rounded picture of you. 0:16:51.880 --> 0:17:01.080 Okay. So so basically I've been doing it work for 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:05.040 a while now, like a really long time. I decided, 0:17:05.200 --> 0:17:08.439 you know what, you know, I'm getting old, it's getting competitive. 0:17:11.160 --> 0:17:13.399 It just isn't fun keeping up, you know, with all 0:17:13.440 --> 0:17:15.760 the changes in society and everything else. You know, just 0:17:16.320 --> 0:17:19.399 it's just NonStop being beaten over the head, you know 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:23.800 when you work in it. And so I did a 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:28.200 stint in graphic design, which is, you know what I 0:17:28.200 --> 0:17:30.119 would like to do more of, because you know, I 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:35.320 have a whole artistic site. But I had a really 0:17:35.400 --> 0:17:37.760 shitty boss, so I had to go back into it. 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:45.800 The pandemic happened and I lost my job because apparently 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:48.120 the company was going to lose money, but it turns 0:17:48.160 --> 0:17:50.720 out they actually made more money in the end. But 0:17:51.880 --> 0:17:54.200 regardless of that, I ended up getting the job i'm 0:17:54.200 --> 0:18:01.000 at now, and basically I'm a call center supervisor right now, 0:18:01.640 --> 0:18:07.720 manager supervisor what you won't call it? And it sucks. 0:18:09.840 --> 0:18:10.280 Mm hmm. 0:18:11.560 --> 0:18:15.640 What does anything? Does anything give you happiness in life 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:16.160 right now? 0:18:18.359 --> 0:18:18.520 Oh? 0:18:18.640 --> 0:18:21.520 Yeah, definitely. I mean my kid, I have a really 0:18:21.600 --> 0:18:26.399 amazing kid. He's ten going on eleven, I gets your 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:35.639 way from making art and yeah, I mean those times 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:42.920 I'm with my narcissistic, you know partner. You know, I'm 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:44.840 happy because we have a we go out, we have 0:18:44.880 --> 0:18:49.239 a great time. But it's just, you know, it's uh, 0:18:49.840 --> 0:18:54.560 these kind of people have different personalities, you know, and 0:18:54.600 --> 0:18:56.840 the next day she can be a completely different person. 0:18:57.400 --> 0:18:59.960 When you say I'm sorry, you're I'm sorry if I'm coming. 0:19:00.240 --> 0:19:02.360 But when you say your narcisstic partner, you're talking about 0:19:02.400 --> 0:19:04.240 your ex wife or the person you're with right. 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:07.639 Now, the girl I'm dating right now. 0:19:08.320 --> 0:19:13.600 Okay, okay, I say, sathy to you, So you're still 0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:15.600 dating this? This is the person who you said, who 0:19:15.640 --> 0:19:17.000 you fell in love with, who you said was you're 0:19:17.000 --> 0:19:19.080 going to be your girlfriend that? Or is this a 0:19:19.119 --> 0:19:19.680 different person? 0:19:20.359 --> 0:19:24.200 Well it's it's an on and off relationship. Yeah, but yes, 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:26.760 currently we are dating. Currently we're dating again. 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:30.240 Okay, just like can just this person that you're currently 0:19:30.320 --> 0:19:33.040 dating are you referring to as a narcissist? Are they 0:19:33.119 --> 0:19:37.199 making your life? Are they in general in general? Are 0:19:37.240 --> 0:19:38.600 they making your life better or worse? 0:19:42.080 --> 0:19:42.439 Mmmm? 0:19:45.720 --> 0:19:46.480 Currently worse? 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:53.720 Okay, I mean look bro, uh. 0:19:54.119 --> 0:19:57.359 It's it's just it's a suspicion in stress, I know, 0:19:57.440 --> 0:20:00.560 And that's that's just part it's part of the whole game. Yeah, 0:20:00.640 --> 0:20:02.800 they do, and it's just you know, I've accepted it. 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:04.199 Yeah, So. 0:20:05.760 --> 0:20:07.320 Why have you? Why have you accepted it? 0:20:09.359 --> 0:20:12.800 Just because I know that that's part of her personality. 0:20:13.119 --> 0:20:17.800 It's part of her you know, Uh, Psyche, that's it's 0:20:17.840 --> 0:20:21.320 something that she is going to do and continue to 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:24.760 behave this way, and it's not something that she can 0:20:24.840 --> 0:20:28.320 change about herself, I don't think, because she she needs 0:20:28.520 --> 0:20:35.040 the attention, you know, and she will justify it. 0:20:35.880 --> 0:20:41.800 Will I'm gonna I'm gonna will. Is this a sex thing? 0:20:42.680 --> 0:20:42.840 Is it? 0:20:43.000 --> 0:20:43.040 Like? 0:20:44.359 --> 0:20:46.720 Is it like I'm afraid of not being able to 0:20:46.800 --> 0:20:49.600 have sex and being alone and so I'm gonna be 0:20:49.760 --> 0:20:52.720 with this person who is making man happy because I'd 0:20:52.840 --> 0:20:56.240 rather do that than be alone and sexless. 0:20:58.960 --> 0:21:02.800 Uh. That could be part of like a small part 0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:04.040 of it. That could definitely. 0:21:04.520 --> 0:21:11.360 Okay, because that's have affection okay, and that leads into 0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:13.520 it too. I don't know why I said sex, but 0:21:13.720 --> 0:21:17.160 the sex and affection thing because like, dude, I guess 0:21:17.240 --> 0:21:21.440 I don't if you're you don't want to be actively 0:21:21.640 --> 0:21:24.360 referring to the person that you are dating as a narcissist. 0:21:25.240 --> 0:21:27.080 That's that. I don't think that's good. And and you 0:21:27.119 --> 0:21:28.320 don't even need me to tell you any of that 0:21:28.400 --> 0:21:32.840 ship you already know that. So I'm glad that you 0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:34.800 have things in your life that are making you happy, 0:21:34.880 --> 0:21:39.720 like your kid and art and whatnot. But I I 0:21:39.960 --> 0:21:44.760 I hate for you to settle just because you don't 0:21:44.800 --> 0:21:47.959 want to go back out there, you settle with somebody 0:21:48.320 --> 0:21:50.800 who you really don't like, because that's just gonna make 0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:53.840 your life what that's gonna Your life's gonna be way 0:21:54.080 --> 0:21:56.440 worse being with somebody who you refer to as a 0:21:56.560 --> 0:22:00.920 narcissist than being alone and Jack and all, Jack and off. 0:22:01.320 --> 0:22:03.800 You know what I'm going to say it, Will, I'm 0:22:03.840 --> 0:22:05.280 going to say it, and I know you know it, 0:22:05.359 --> 0:22:07.240 and I know the people out there know it. I'm 0:22:07.240 --> 0:22:09.119 going to say it so that everyone can hear me 0:22:09.240 --> 0:22:11.840 pretty loudly. I'm going to say what the people want 0:22:11.840 --> 0:22:15.880 to say. Being alone and Jack and off is kind 0:22:15.920 --> 0:22:20.520 of awesome, Okay. 0:22:30.359 --> 0:22:32.439 I feel like the ripples of that is going out 0:22:32.480 --> 0:22:33.639 into the universe right now. 0:22:33.840 --> 0:22:35.600 The ripples of that are indeed going out in the 0:22:35.680 --> 0:22:41.880 universe right now. That's what that moment of silence was. Well, Will, 0:22:42.480 --> 0:22:43.720 what's the future look like for you? 0:22:48.359 --> 0:22:59.119 I believe my art is actually pretty good now, and 0:22:59.760 --> 0:23:04.440 I plan to pivot and doing more of, you know, 0:23:04.560 --> 0:23:08.280 the things I that I want to do, you know, 0:23:08.400 --> 0:23:11.280 because I've spent these forty four years pretty much pleasing 0:23:12.280 --> 0:23:14.840 everybody else, and I think it's, you know, it's time 0:23:14.920 --> 0:23:19.840 to do some self love and start doing some of 0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:22.720 the things that you know, I kick ass at good 0:23:22.800 --> 0:23:23.960 Man good. 0:23:24.160 --> 0:23:28.919 It seems like it seems like you're you actually are, 0:23:29.160 --> 0:23:34.240 like really you know, solid pockets of your life that 0:23:34.359 --> 0:23:35.680 are keeping you well afloat. 0:23:36.040 --> 0:23:36.240 You know. 0:23:36.400 --> 0:23:38.080 I'm glad you have a great relationship with your kid. 0:23:38.119 --> 0:23:40.760 I'm glad you feel confident in yourself. I feel like 0:23:40.800 --> 0:23:42.959 that's the most important thing. What do you make art? 0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:44.040 What do you make art about? 0:23:47.920 --> 0:23:51.000 All different kinds of things. So I've been doing a 0:23:51.040 --> 0:23:53.359 couple of landscapes, I'm starting to do some more like 0:23:53.520 --> 0:23:59.119 pop art, and yeah, I think I'm gonna do uh 0:24:00.080 --> 0:24:03.879 a new painting pretty soon. I'm taking maybe like an 0:24:04.000 --> 0:24:05.560 edgarupt mm hmmm. 0:24:05.800 --> 0:24:07.760 Do you have an art Instagram that you want to share? 0:24:07.800 --> 0:24:09.119 You don't have to if you don't want to. 0:24:11.359 --> 0:24:13.840 Uh, I have one. I actually started not too long ago. 0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:20.040 It's uh sure it's Will dot the Dot Artist with 0:24:20.200 --> 0:24:20.840 an underscore. 0:24:22.680 --> 0:24:26.840 Wow, I'm surprised that wasn't taken even with the underscores 0:24:26.880 --> 0:24:27.679 and dots and stuff. 0:24:29.480 --> 0:24:29.680 Yeah. 0:24:31.000 --> 0:24:32.040 Here, I'm gonna go to it right now. 0:24:32.080 --> 0:24:38.920 What is it against? Will dot the Dot artist with 0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:39.720 an underscore? 0:24:42.640 --> 0:24:44.760 Are tist. 0:24:46.400 --> 0:24:51.719 And an underscore? Okay, let's check this out. Oh all right, 0:24:51.720 --> 0:24:53.399 we there, we go. We got your we got your 0:24:53.440 --> 0:24:55.120 first and last name. That's out there. 0:24:55.160 --> 0:24:58.040 Okay, yeah, it's okay. 0:24:59.640 --> 0:25:01.359 Is that with you? I can bleep it out if 0:25:01.560 --> 0:25:05.680 if it's not, that's fine. Okay. 0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:07.280 I like this. 0:25:07.520 --> 0:25:08.360 This looks pretty cool. 0:25:09.680 --> 0:25:10.000 What is that? 0:25:10.119 --> 0:25:10.639 Who is that? 0:25:10.720 --> 0:25:10.880 Dave? 0:25:10.920 --> 0:25:13.120 I'm gonna sound like an idiot. That's not David. Who's 0:25:13.160 --> 0:25:13.760 that with the guitar? 0:25:15.960 --> 0:25:17.840 Yeah it's Martin Gore? 0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:21.000 Nice man. Who's this girl? 0:25:24.320 --> 0:25:24.439 Uh? 0:25:24.560 --> 0:25:25.560 That is a girl? I need it? 0:25:26.960 --> 0:25:33.120 She looks cool. And then this is uh Flora plans 0:25:33.440 --> 0:25:34.200 to a Walmart? 0:25:34.280 --> 0:25:34.639 What is this? 0:25:38.720 --> 0:25:44.160 It's basically a role playing like map, architectural map. 0:25:47.800 --> 0:25:49.040 You know what? Will you got a good life? 0:25:51.920 --> 0:25:52.200 Thanks? 0:25:52.240 --> 0:25:52.400 Man? 0:25:52.560 --> 0:25:53.119 Appreciate that. 0:25:54.880 --> 0:25:57.359 M sore. Well thanks for talking about all this stuff. Man, 0:25:57.359 --> 0:25:59.959 I'm glad. Do you do you have a real therapist 0:26:00.080 --> 0:26:01.320 that you talked to about these things? 0:26:04.600 --> 0:26:09.720 Unfortunately no, I just kind of do the stoic maile 0:26:09.840 --> 0:26:12.359 thing and just kind of like this his life. You know, 0:26:12.440 --> 0:26:13.000 it could be worse. 0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:15.960 I do the stoic male thing, and I talked to 0:26:16.040 --> 0:26:19.720 a guy in a gecko suit about it and still. 0:26:19.760 --> 0:26:22.359 Yes, as one does. 0:26:24.160 --> 0:26:26.560 Well, thanks for calling, Will, and good luck to you 0:26:26.600 --> 0:26:28.760 in the future man, and anything else you want to 0:26:28.760 --> 0:26:30.240 say to the people of the computer before we go. 0:26:33.680 --> 0:26:38.840 Yeah, check out Alan Watts. He will start you on 0:26:38.960 --> 0:26:39.520 a good journey. 0:26:42.720 --> 0:26:44.880 Beautiful. Take care man. Thanks for calling. 0:26:46.200 --> 0:26:47.280 All right, all right, but. 0:26:49.080 --> 0:26:50.879 Oh crap, I just really he said in the in 0:26:50.960 --> 0:26:55.960 the call screening notes that he met God. I didn't 0:26:55.960 --> 0:26:58.359 get to ask him about that. I wonder if you 0:26:58.440 --> 0:27:02.479 met God on Tinder? Is God a thirty seven year 0:27:02.520 --> 0:27:04.719 old woman on okay Cupid? 0:27:06.520 --> 0:27:06.800 He is? 0:27:07.480 --> 0:27:10.200 You know why? Because he's all of us. I don't know. 0:27:10.240 --> 0:27:15.120 I don't know what I'm saying. Thanks for calling Will, Hello, Hello, 0:27:15.840 --> 0:27:18.000 what's up? Hey? Is this geg. 0:27:19.560 --> 0:27:19.679 Uh? 0:27:20.520 --> 0:27:21.359 Yeah, man? How are you? 0:27:23.359 --> 0:27:23.880 I'm all right? 0:27:24.280 --> 0:27:29.199 Uh, I'm okay. Just it's just wanted to come on here, 0:27:29.520 --> 0:27:31.439 you know, share some thoughts and whatnot. 0:27:31.840 --> 0:27:34.000 What kinds of thoughts and feelings would you like to share. 0:27:35.960 --> 0:27:40.320 So I've been living with my brother for about a 0:27:40.480 --> 0:27:45.200 year now, and we moved out together. He's a he's 0:27:45.280 --> 0:27:48.199 twenty four and I'm twenty, and. 0:27:49.680 --> 0:27:50.480 So it's just. 0:27:52.160 --> 0:27:55.320 It's been it's been okay, like you know, we get along. 0:27:55.200 --> 0:28:00.399 And everything, and it's it's everything's fine and there I 0:28:00.440 --> 0:28:01.960 pay rent, he pays rent and all that. 0:28:02.600 --> 0:28:07.639 But it's been a lot of times recently, I just 0:28:07.840 --> 0:28:10.480 I feel like he's. 0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:13.080 How do I wear this? 0:28:13.359 --> 0:28:18.760 Like he feels like he's trying to have authority over me, 0:28:18.880 --> 0:28:21.000 you know, like he's trying to. 0:28:22.600 --> 0:28:23.439 He's just trying to be. 0:28:25.480 --> 0:28:32.160 The bigger person in every situation, and just it's it's weird. 0:28:32.200 --> 0:28:34.080 I don't I haven't really talked about it with anyone. 0:28:34.119 --> 0:28:35.960 I don't know, I've never really put its words. I 0:28:36.080 --> 0:28:39.200 just I thought you were streaming, and I thought this 0:28:39.280 --> 0:28:41.080 would be the chance to really get it out there. 0:28:41.440 --> 0:28:45.680 So but it seems like he had like how he's 0:28:45.760 --> 0:28:46.640 twenty four and I'm. 0:28:46.560 --> 0:28:49.520 Twenty Okay, so he's trying He's not that much older 0:28:49.520 --> 0:28:52.160 than me, all Right, so you both pay equal rent 0:28:52.280 --> 0:28:56.760 on the house. But he's still trying to like big 0:28:56.880 --> 0:28:57.360 time yet. 0:28:59.440 --> 0:29:02.320 Yeah, it's really weird. Like it's like he took the 0:29:02.440 --> 0:29:04.560 role of our dad, like as soon as we got 0:29:04.560 --> 0:29:07.120 out of the house, and it's is he. 0:29:07.520 --> 0:29:15.640 Is he reminding you of your dad? Oh one, what 0:29:15.920 --> 0:29:18.760 things does he do about to alpha you around? 0:29:21.440 --> 0:29:23.160 That's a good way to put it, Alpha me around? 0:29:24.000 --> 0:29:26.960 But uh, he like. 0:29:28.640 --> 0:29:31.840 So we have a weekly schedule of cleaning, uh where 0:29:32.040 --> 0:29:35.640 I do one week, I do stuff and then he 0:29:35.760 --> 0:29:38.560 does the other stuff and then next week we switch. Right, 0:29:40.160 --> 0:29:47.440 There's been times where he'll he'll he'll tell me to 0:29:47.640 --> 0:29:50.880 you know, do He'll he'll run down the schedule of 0:29:51.120 --> 0:29:52.520 like of what's going on. 0:29:53.640 --> 0:29:55.840 And just so much like. 0:29:57.600 --> 0:29:59.320 If the way he talks to me is just so 0:29:59.560 --> 0:30:00.480 talking down to me. 0:30:00.960 --> 0:30:03.040 And even when I do what I'm supposed to do, 0:30:03.080 --> 0:30:06.400 because I get everything usually done in like half hour 0:30:06.640 --> 0:30:09.600 of an hour, well not everything, but like majority of 0:30:09.640 --> 0:30:14.560 what I'm supposed to do, and he he's like, there's 0:30:14.600 --> 0:30:24.280 no how do I sorry, Uh, it's. 0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:26.920 Let me ask you. Let me ask you him. Yeah, 0:30:27.520 --> 0:30:29.520 all right, this is clearly and I get this. There's 0:30:29.520 --> 0:30:32.520 a lot of times in arguments and ship where you know, 0:30:32.640 --> 0:30:35.960 you just don't have fucking concrete examples and evidence, but 0:30:36.120 --> 0:30:38.760 you have the way you feel. I get that. I've 0:30:38.760 --> 0:30:44.840 been there before. Have you told your brother about this shit? 0:30:45.360 --> 0:30:47.040 Have you had a conversation with him? 0:30:47.600 --> 0:30:50.920 I've We've argued about it where like I'll tell him, like, 0:30:51.040 --> 0:30:53.360 he's just like our dad, and he gets so pissed, 0:30:53.520 --> 0:30:55.720 but like the way he gets pissed is just like 0:30:55.880 --> 0:30:57.680 our dad, and. 0:30:59.720 --> 0:31:00.080 He he. 0:31:02.320 --> 0:31:07.080 He gets he gets physical too, and that was much 0:31:07.280 --> 0:31:08.560 like our dad growing up. 0:31:09.320 --> 0:31:10.080 Yeah, he hits me. 0:31:11.200 --> 0:31:12.360 Okay, your brother's hitting you. 0:31:14.160 --> 0:31:14.760 He's hitting me. 0:31:14.880 --> 0:31:16.880 He's he's he's treating he's treating. 0:31:16.640 --> 0:31:17.760 Me like our dad used to do. 0:31:18.840 --> 0:31:21.240 My dad was an old school he grew he was 0:31:21.320 --> 0:31:23.720 fifty when I was born. He grew up old school 0:31:23.760 --> 0:31:28.840 in the in the seventies and eighties and. 0:31:30.720 --> 0:31:32.000 Or whenever he grew up. 0:31:32.160 --> 0:31:33.480 But he grew up. 0:31:34.000 --> 0:31:35.840 That's how he wouldn't talk. 0:31:36.120 --> 0:31:38.640 Our dad wouldn't talk much about how he grew up. 0:31:38.840 --> 0:31:42.040 But you know that whole thing where he kind of 0:31:42.880 --> 0:31:44.640 when you grow up and have kids. 0:31:44.400 --> 0:31:47.800 You you sort of have patterns with when how you 0:31:47.880 --> 0:31:48.440 were raised. 0:31:48.880 --> 0:31:52.680 Yeah, so you heard that all right? So So what 0:31:52.760 --> 0:31:54.680 you're what you're getting at here is that your dad 0:31:55.560 --> 0:31:59.480 would fucking hit you and hit your brother. And now 0:31:59.520 --> 0:32:01.680 you're now you're living with your brother. Now your brother's 0:32:01.760 --> 0:32:06.200 hitting you. Yeah, and you guys are you guys are adults? 0:32:06.240 --> 0:32:07.920 You're twenty and twenty. 0:32:07.680 --> 0:32:11.960 Four or full on adults, full jobs and ship. Okay, 0:32:12.080 --> 0:32:13.600 Like I work as a plumber. 0:32:14.320 --> 0:32:15.720 I've been doing it two years now. 0:32:16.440 --> 0:32:17.680 Like it's a shitty job. 0:32:18.520 --> 0:32:23.280 Funny, but uh but it pays the bills, pays my half. 0:32:24.040 --> 0:32:27.080 And I like your I like your way of bringing 0:32:27.160 --> 0:32:29.000 levity into the situation with a joke. 0:32:30.160 --> 0:32:33.600 Yeah, I try to. You know, it could be worse, 0:32:35.560 --> 0:32:36.640 It could be way worse. 0:32:37.040 --> 0:32:40.720 But all right, Matthew, how long you've been living with 0:32:40.760 --> 0:32:41.040 your brother? 0:32:41.120 --> 0:32:49.360 For living with him for what is it? It's month 0:32:49.480 --> 0:32:50.640 is July, so that'd be. 0:32:52.280 --> 0:32:54.080 A year and four months. 0:32:54.320 --> 0:32:55.240 Now you're in. 0:32:55.240 --> 0:32:57.280 Form in four months, okay, So it's been a year 0:32:57.320 --> 0:32:57.920 and four months. 0:32:58.480 --> 0:33:00.360 And we tried to move out. 0:33:00.440 --> 0:33:02.880 He moved out the second he hit graduation. 0:33:03.320 --> 0:33:06.920 He moved out and did his whatever he did. 0:33:07.240 --> 0:33:10.240 And so so how how many times over the course 0:33:10.320 --> 0:33:12.120 how many times over the course of that year and 0:33:12.400 --> 0:33:15.560 four months does did he was he hitting you? 0:33:18.480 --> 0:33:18.880 It didn't. 0:33:19.120 --> 0:33:21.560 In the beginning, it was fine, Like like the first 0:33:21.640 --> 0:33:24.720 I'd say, like six months, it was like, okay, you know, 0:33:24.760 --> 0:33:26.760 we'd get into arguments. Brothers use it all the time. 0:33:27.040 --> 0:33:30.640 We'd always we're not like the closest brothers. 0:33:30.320 --> 0:33:35.640 In the world. But but Matthew MaTx got along and Matthew, Yeah, 0:33:36.040 --> 0:33:37.840 how many times in the year and a half, in 0:33:38.040 --> 0:33:39.480 the year and four months did he hit you? 0:33:42.080 --> 0:33:45.680 I'd say at least like once to twice a week. 0:33:46.240 --> 0:33:47.720 Once to twice a week. 0:33:49.440 --> 0:33:51.160 A week. Yeah, there may be there'd be a week 0:33:51.280 --> 0:33:53.800 where he didn't. May there'd be weeks where it'd be more. 0:33:54.640 --> 0:34:01.320 But all right, Matthew, mmm, and you haven't told you. 0:34:02.320 --> 0:34:03.680 I'm the first one you're telling about this. 0:34:06.360 --> 0:34:07.280 I pulled my cat. 0:34:09.480 --> 0:34:12.279 Okay, matt Well, I want to let me say a 0:34:12.360 --> 0:34:15.359 few things. One, Matthew, you seem like a real nice, 0:34:15.560 --> 0:34:18.759 real sweet dude, and I'm really real I I feel 0:34:18.800 --> 0:34:20.480 bad because you have to sounds like you have to 0:34:20.520 --> 0:34:23.920 go through this fucking twice because like it sounds like 0:34:24.000 --> 0:34:28.759 your dad was not fucking super awesome. And then it 0:34:28.840 --> 0:34:31.279 was like, finally, you're eighteen, you can get out of 0:34:31.360 --> 0:34:33.759 the house. And then now you're living with a mini 0:34:34.480 --> 0:34:37.560 version of your dad, and like, bro, I don't know, 0:34:37.640 --> 0:34:39.640 I feel bad for your brother too, because like I'm 0:34:39.680 --> 0:34:42.560 sure he you know, is hurting as well. But like 0:34:43.800 --> 0:34:46.360 at twenty four years old, you gotta you gotta, you 0:34:46.480 --> 0:34:48.440 gotta work out what the fuck is going on with 0:34:48.560 --> 0:34:50.279 you and not be taking it out on your little 0:34:50.320 --> 0:34:54.520 brother because you seem like a nice guy. So yeah, 0:34:55.320 --> 0:34:57.799 and you don't deserve. And also you're you're twenty, you're 0:34:57.840 --> 0:35:01.520 making your own money. You should be allowed, would you you? 0:35:01.840 --> 0:35:04.560 You deserve to be able to live in his safe, 0:35:05.040 --> 0:35:07.799 chill place where you're not dealing with your brother being 0:35:07.840 --> 0:35:12.240 an asshole. So yeah, I mean there's lots of things 0:35:12.719 --> 0:35:14.839 here that I'm thinking about. 0:35:14.920 --> 0:35:15.839 I appreciate that man. 0:35:17.600 --> 0:35:23.520 So let's well, let's well, let's start with Gecko solutions 0:35:23.600 --> 0:35:26.919 and then I will for you, and then I'll refer 0:35:27.040 --> 0:35:32.440 you out to other uh solutions. But are you are you? 0:35:32.640 --> 0:35:35.439 Are you want to least? Are you on a least 0:35:35.480 --> 0:35:37.600 with him? No? 0:35:38.440 --> 0:35:40.880 The house isn't fully in his property. 0:35:41.800 --> 0:35:46.360 Oh it's in his name, so he he owns it. 0:35:46.840 --> 0:35:49.919 It's in his name. He's letting me stay and pay half? 0:35:51.000 --> 0:35:53.359 Is he so he bought it and you're helping him 0:35:53.360 --> 0:35:57.560 pay the mortgage? Yeah, did he buy it or was it? 0:35:57.600 --> 0:36:02.400 Like a family, It's just it's a what did. 0:36:02.000 --> 0:36:03.880 Did he buy it? Or did your dad give it 0:36:03.960 --> 0:36:04.239 to them? 0:36:06.360 --> 0:36:08.680 It's in our dad's name, but then now it's been 0:36:08.760 --> 0:36:11.120 moved to his name. Our dad passed away two years ago. 0:36:11.760 --> 0:36:12.400 When I was. 0:36:14.320 --> 0:36:19.920 I'm sorry to hear that, man, So your dad's That's 0:36:19.960 --> 0:36:21.800 what I was thinking. So your dad passed away and 0:36:21.880 --> 0:36:25.840 then gave the house to your brother, and and in 0:36:26.000 --> 0:36:29.919 the will he gave it specifically to your brother. Yes, 0:36:31.440 --> 0:36:35.600 have you ever, dude, I'm have you ever had like 0:36:35.680 --> 0:36:37.759 a lawyer help you out with this kind of ship? 0:36:38.400 --> 0:36:41.800 With the not I have not looked to lawyers, okay, 0:36:42.880 --> 0:36:45.960 but this conversation is starting to think that I need one. 0:36:46.520 --> 0:36:52.799 Mm hmm, I bro, I think here's the thing. 0:36:52.840 --> 0:36:53.200 I'm down. 0:36:53.480 --> 0:36:56.840 I'm totally I'm totally down to uh talk with you 0:36:57.080 --> 0:36:59.959 for a little bit more about this. But you absolutely 0:37:00.280 --> 0:37:02.239 should go talk to a lawyer because your brother, don't. 0:37:02.280 --> 0:37:05.480 Your brother could be doing some kind of like shady 0:37:05.560 --> 0:37:08.360 ship where like maybe your dad actually left both of it. 0:37:08.400 --> 0:37:10.919 Because if your dad left you ship and your brother 0:37:11.080 --> 0:37:13.200 is just like if he's aultphaing you around the house 0:37:13.239 --> 0:37:16.720 and hitting you and ship, you know, it wouldn't wouldn't 0:37:16.719 --> 0:37:20.760 It wouldn't be beyond me that he's, you know, taking 0:37:20.840 --> 0:37:23.920 ownership over this house that you know a percentage of 0:37:24.040 --> 0:37:26.759 could rightfully belong to you. Would You just didn't have 0:37:26.920 --> 0:37:29.239 the resources to figure that ship out? And I feel 0:37:29.280 --> 0:37:30.719 for you. I know that getting a lawyer as a 0:37:30.800 --> 0:37:37.200 whole expensive thing. All right, So you pay your money 0:37:38.760 --> 0:37:41.759 and you're paying or you're paying rent to your brother. 0:37:43.640 --> 0:37:47.239 Yes, I'm paying to help out the mortgage. And it's 0:37:48.360 --> 0:37:50.960 also like power and whatnot, and none of it is 0:37:51.360 --> 0:37:53.560 I pay, no. 0:37:53.960 --> 0:37:55.759 That I know of. None of it is in my name. 0:37:58.520 --> 0:38:01.560 But like I obviously I wasn't going to be here forever. 0:38:01.800 --> 0:38:03.840 I just thought for the meantime. But it's been you know, 0:38:03.880 --> 0:38:05.120 a year and six months now. 0:38:05.320 --> 0:38:08.719 So where do you work for you? What's your job? 0:38:08.760 --> 0:38:10.880 What's your job? Uh? 0:38:11.200 --> 0:38:11.600 Plumbing? 0:38:11.920 --> 0:38:14.480 We go around, you know, people call in, you know, 0:38:14.600 --> 0:38:18.719 having trouble with leeks and whatnot, and uh, oh shit, 0:38:18.800 --> 0:38:19.360 what time is it? 0:38:19.600 --> 0:38:22.640 M's do you have to go right now? 0:38:24.160 --> 0:38:25.879 I don't have to go to work. I have dinner 0:38:25.960 --> 0:38:28.239 reservations with a friend of mine that I haven't seen 0:38:28.280 --> 0:38:31.080 in a long time, and now that I think we've 0:38:31.120 --> 0:38:32.759 had this talk, I might bring this up with them. 0:38:33.680 --> 0:38:36.319 Yeah, you should talk to people. I have a lot 0:38:36.360 --> 0:38:38.800 of questions for you. But let's okay, So, are you 0:38:38.880 --> 0:38:40.480 making decent money being a plumber? 0:38:42.280 --> 0:38:46.560 I'm it could be better, but like it's not the worst. 0:38:46.920 --> 0:38:50.160 So like, okay, I'm okay, I'm making it. 0:38:50.239 --> 0:38:53.360 Okay, all right, because you have something, because Brownie and 0:38:53.440 --> 0:38:57.359 I have all that. Bro like, get the fuck out 0:38:57.400 --> 0:39:01.600 of that place first, when my brother sounds like he's 0:39:01.760 --> 0:39:03.799 just making life hell for you. And if you can 0:39:03.880 --> 0:39:08.040 afford it, go, you know, get get with a roommate 0:39:08.280 --> 0:39:11.040 or if you can afford a fucking studio or one. 0:39:11.160 --> 0:39:12.600 I don't know where you live at or what you 0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:15.200 make or any of that stuff, but like, yeah, try 0:39:15.239 --> 0:39:20.520 to get a different housing situation. And then like, I mean, hey, 0:39:20.600 --> 0:39:25.359 you probably have you should talk dude. Can I ask 0:39:25.400 --> 0:39:28.040 you a question, why haven't you talked to anybody besides 0:39:28.080 --> 0:39:28.560 me about this? 0:39:31.680 --> 0:39:38.360 Honestly, it's more of a pride thing, like, and I 0:39:38.440 --> 0:39:40.719 also just never had really been. 0:39:40.680 --> 0:39:43.239 Excusing it for a while at the same time too, so. 0:39:45.040 --> 0:39:46.960 And after after I gotta go. 0:39:47.320 --> 0:39:49.480 I'm gonna be late here in about fifteen minutes. 0:39:49.880 --> 0:39:52.200 You gotta go. Wait, you don't, can't. You don't want 0:39:52.200 --> 0:39:54.400 to fish this conversation. It's okay if you got to 0:39:54.440 --> 0:39:54.920 fucking do it. 0:39:55.440 --> 0:39:57.200 I really want to do I've been waiting here like 0:39:57.280 --> 0:39:59.359 forty five minutes, but I I don't want to miss 0:39:59.400 --> 0:40:03.480 his dinner at all. Right, Well, but I do want 0:40:03.520 --> 0:40:05.840 to say thank you, man, I I really appreciate this, 0:40:05.960 --> 0:40:07.080 and it's really talking to you. 0:40:08.160 --> 0:40:11.520 Swallow your pride. Go talk to a lawyer, talk to 0:40:11.600 --> 0:40:14.279 your friends. Don't don't be don't don't don't feel a 0:40:14.320 --> 0:40:16.440 need to be prideful about this man like you're getting 0:40:16.960 --> 0:40:18.719 you're getting fucked over, and you're a nice guy and 0:40:18.719 --> 0:40:20.399 you don't deserve that. And so you should go talk 0:40:20.440 --> 0:40:23.040 to a lawyer and and everything you just told me. 0:40:23.160 --> 0:40:24.719 Go tell him and see what they can do for you. 0:40:26.600 --> 0:40:29.600 All Right, I'll do that, man. I'm gonna I'm gonna eat. 0:40:29.680 --> 0:40:31.239 I'm gonna eat the shit out of this dinner for you. 0:40:31.400 --> 0:40:34.080 Man, all right, go eat the shit out of some dinner. Okay, Bye, Matthew, 0:40:35.000 --> 0:40:38.879 all right, dude, have a good night, you too. Damn 0:40:38.920 --> 0:40:41.320 that poor fucking guy. I hope he talks to I 0:40:41.360 --> 0:40:44.920 don't know this is some ship where, like you know, 0:40:45.160 --> 0:40:47.520 he I'm I'm too stupid to know what his options 0:40:47.560 --> 0:40:51.880 are in that, but almost certainly sounds like his brother 0:40:52.280 --> 0:40:57.759 is doing some shady ship with the will. And even 0:40:57.840 --> 0:41:00.520 if he's not, even even if the dad was like 0:41:00.680 --> 0:41:03.359 I give everything to the brother, he still got He's 0:41:03.360 --> 0:41:06.040 still definitely got some case against this guy if he's 0:41:06.200 --> 0:41:10.359 you know, fucking assaulting him and all that shit. 0:41:10.840 --> 0:41:13.319 So uh. 0:41:14.800 --> 0:41:16.320 Damn, I wish you could have talked for longer. I 0:41:16.360 --> 0:41:21.359 have so many more questions, But ma'am, I hope. I mean, 0:41:21.400 --> 0:41:23.080 if I was the first person that he talked to 0:41:23.160 --> 0:41:26.239 about this thing, I hope that it inspired him to 0:41:27.000 --> 0:41:30.640 talk to other people about it, because like that's the thing, right, 0:41:30.719 --> 0:41:32.879 Sometimes you don't because he didn't. I don't even because 0:41:32.920 --> 0:41:35.200 a when he mentioned pride, it was like, hey, he's 0:41:35.200 --> 0:41:37.560 feeling prideful about it, and be It's like he might 0:41:37.680 --> 0:41:41.040 not even because he's not getting feedback from other people. 0:41:41.120 --> 0:41:44.759 He might not even be aware that, you know, things 0:41:44.760 --> 0:41:47.359 are fucked up. So hopefully he talks to his friend 0:41:47.440 --> 0:41:51.120 over dinner and it gives him a bigger perspective on this. 0:41:51.960 --> 0:41:54.920 But thanks for calling, Matthew, and good luck to you. Hello, folks, 0:41:55.000 --> 0:41:55.880 it is me Lyle. 0:41:56.400 --> 0:41:56.440 So. 0:41:56.760 --> 0:41:59.520 About a month ago, I was invited to do two 0:41:59.719 --> 0:42:05.840 live shows at the Electric Forest Music Festival in Rothbury, Michigan, 0:42:06.239 --> 0:42:07.880 and it was a lot of fun. And while I 0:42:08.080 --> 0:42:14.320 was there, I did some street interviews on the festival grounds. 0:42:14.400 --> 0:42:16.520 I talked to a lot of people, and I'm ending 0:42:16.600 --> 0:42:21.200 the podcast today by playing a little clip from those 0:42:21.280 --> 0:42:24.880 street interviews. It's an interview that I did with this 0:42:25.239 --> 0:42:30.520 girl who is basically like trying to figure out how 0:42:30.560 --> 0:42:37.400 to be a human being having regular conversations with other people, 0:42:38.320 --> 0:42:41.759 which is something that you know, I even struggle with 0:42:42.080 --> 0:42:44.200 a lot. I know that my whole job is having 0:42:44.280 --> 0:42:46.320 conversations with people, but that's just when I'm in a 0:42:46.360 --> 0:42:49.960 Gecko costume. You know, when I'm in real life and 0:42:50.000 --> 0:42:51.719 I'm at a store or something and I got to 0:42:51.760 --> 0:42:54.400 talk to someone, it's a whole different thing. But anyway, 0:42:54.480 --> 0:42:56.680 this isn't about me, and I'm only recording this so 0:42:56.800 --> 0:43:02.600 that you guys aren't confused. Once once normal non cell 0:43:02.680 --> 0:43:08.799 phone people are talking. I hate introducing calls and interviews 0:43:08.920 --> 0:43:11.960 because it's like just let's just listen to the thing 0:43:12.040 --> 0:43:16.080 and it'll introduce itself. But anyway, I'll shut up and 0:43:16.520 --> 0:43:20.080 let us transport ourselves. You guys are gonna like this interview. 0:43:20.160 --> 0:43:21.960 This is I had a lot of This was a 0:43:22.000 --> 0:43:24.600 good one. This was a good one. You should listen 0:43:24.680 --> 0:43:27.719 to it. Don't just stop listening because it's not a 0:43:27.800 --> 0:43:31.920 phone call. Sometimes you gotta listen, you gotta all right, 0:43:32.320 --> 0:43:38.560 let's transport ourselves to the Electric Forest Music Festival in Rothbury, Michigan. 0:43:39.960 --> 0:43:41.319 Right now, what is your name? 0:43:41.520 --> 0:43:42.240 My name is Zoey. 0:43:42.440 --> 0:43:44.839 Zoey. Nice to me, Joe. How is the life? How's 0:43:44.880 --> 0:43:47.760 the human experience treating you? And give it to me straight? 0:43:47.840 --> 0:43:51.120 Okay, Well it's it's difficult. 0:43:51.440 --> 0:43:52.560 Okay, Why is it difficult? 0:43:54.680 --> 0:43:57.680 I feel fundamentally different from a lot of people. 0:43:57.960 --> 0:43:58.560 Okay, how so. 0:44:00.080 --> 0:44:01.759 I feel like other people just fit in a lot 0:44:01.800 --> 0:44:02.560 easier than I do. 0:44:03.120 --> 0:44:06.520 M fit it? What is fit in even me? 0:44:08.200 --> 0:44:10.480 I guess we accepted by like general public? 0:44:11.280 --> 0:44:14.239 You feel not accepted by the general Yeah? What aspects 0:44:14.480 --> 0:44:17.880 of you do you feel are not being accepted by 0:44:17.880 --> 0:44:18.600 the general public? 0:44:18.719 --> 0:44:20.719 I guess just socially, I feel like I interact a 0:44:20.760 --> 0:44:24.480 lot differently than a lot of people do. I don't 0:44:24.560 --> 0:44:29.280 know really what it is, but it feels. 0:44:31.280 --> 0:44:31.600 I don't know. 0:44:31.800 --> 0:44:33.840 I don't know how to describe it. It just it 0:44:33.960 --> 0:44:39.759 just feels different and it always has and I don't 0:44:39.880 --> 0:44:41.680 I don't know how to articulate it. 0:44:44.440 --> 0:44:45.800 Do you have a lot of friends or family? 0:44:46.280 --> 0:44:48.920 I do have a bit. I have a very big family, 0:44:49.480 --> 0:44:50.840 but I don't have very many friends. 0:44:51.200 --> 0:44:52.320 Did you come here by yourself? 0:44:52.560 --> 0:44:52.600 No? 0:44:52.800 --> 0:44:56.759 No, no, no, I'm with my boyfriend and oh well 0:44:56.800 --> 0:44:59.240 he left, but I'm with my boyfriend and his friends. 0:45:00.520 --> 0:45:04.200 You feel unaccepted, do you? That's very saying. Do you 0:45:05.600 --> 0:45:08.759 have a desire to fit in or do you at 0:45:08.800 --> 0:45:10.759 this moment like yourself as you are? 0:45:11.000 --> 0:45:11.040 No? 0:45:11.200 --> 0:45:14.239 I do like myself. I just wish other people liked 0:45:14.320 --> 0:45:15.360 me for who I was. 0:45:16.560 --> 0:45:19.600 But it seems as though, I mean, your boyfriend just 0:45:19.719 --> 0:45:21.719 case seems like a sweet guy just came over, gave 0:45:21.800 --> 0:45:24.320 you a kiss, and he obviously likes you for exactly 0:45:24.400 --> 0:45:28.480 who you are. And so you have fundamental proof out 0:45:28.480 --> 0:45:30.839 there in the world that there are people out there 0:45:30.880 --> 0:45:33.080 who will accept you as you are. And not only 0:45:33.120 --> 0:45:35.840 will they accept you as you are, they will actually 0:45:36.160 --> 0:45:39.880 like you even more than they would you know, anyone 0:45:39.920 --> 0:45:43.920 who might traditionally fit in, they might like you for 0:45:44.960 --> 0:45:48.839 the reasons that you so what some, as you say, 0:45:48.960 --> 0:45:52.600 do not fit in right, which is like a beautiful thing. Yeah, 0:45:52.800 --> 0:45:52.960 you know. 0:45:53.520 --> 0:45:56.560 Yeah, the people that I have I'm very appreciative for. 0:45:56.920 --> 0:45:58.000 How did you meet your boyfriend? 0:46:00.200 --> 0:46:03.560 None of my work? Okay, I was working at a 0:46:03.600 --> 0:46:07.480 restaurant and he came in for takeout, and really, yeah, 0:46:07.840 --> 0:46:09.880 he thought I was cute, so we asked for my 0:46:10.000 --> 0:46:13.359 number and I said sure because he didn't seem weird. 0:46:15.480 --> 0:46:18.440 And that's it went from there. 0:46:19.200 --> 0:46:21.840 You know, at least, like I don't know talking to 0:46:21.960 --> 0:46:26.759 you in this situation, nothing about you has I mean 0:46:26.800 --> 0:46:28.719 I've only known you for less than a minute, right, 0:46:28.960 --> 0:46:33.920 but nothing about you has struck me as particularly off kilter. 0:46:35.600 --> 0:46:38.560 I'm glad to hear that. I don't feel like I 0:46:38.680 --> 0:46:41.680 am either. So it's strange to me that that I 0:46:41.960 --> 0:46:45.080 have been rejected in so many like sectors of my line. 0:46:45.280 --> 0:46:48.440 Genuine question, do you have as have you ever considered 0:46:48.480 --> 0:46:49.600 that it might all be in your head? 0:46:50.680 --> 0:46:53.440 I have it might it might be. 0:46:53.760 --> 0:46:56.319 It could be you said, you've been rejected from many 0:46:56.360 --> 0:46:58.839 different sectors. Yeah, in what senses? In what way? 0:46:58.960 --> 0:47:03.200 So like even when I was like It could also 0:47:03.320 --> 0:47:05.560 be that I moved around a lot when I was younger, 0:47:06.000 --> 0:47:10.160 so I never formed like a steady friend group, which 0:47:10.200 --> 0:47:14.800 I think a lot of people have, and so I 0:47:15.280 --> 0:47:18.440 rotated through a lot of friend groups, and I learned 0:47:18.480 --> 0:47:24.239 how people interact at a very young age. And not 0:47:24.360 --> 0:47:27.360 that there's anything wrong with being like looking out for yourself, 0:47:27.880 --> 0:47:30.840 but most people are very and I don't want to 0:47:31.000 --> 0:47:33.600 this isn't a bad thing, but most people are looking 0:47:33.640 --> 0:47:35.759 out for themselves, yeah, than they are for other people, 0:47:37.000 --> 0:47:41.440 And I am the opposite. I want everybody around me 0:47:42.040 --> 0:47:45.040 to be comfortable and to look out. I want to 0:47:45.080 --> 0:47:47.279 look out for everybody else. I want everybody else to 0:47:48.480 --> 0:47:50.440 be safe and to be comfortable and to be happy. 0:47:50.880 --> 0:47:53.480 You know, it's funny that whole thing about everybody is 0:47:53.560 --> 0:47:56.320 like looking out for themselves and selfish. You could interpret 0:47:56.360 --> 0:47:58.719 that two different ways. You could interpret that negatively and 0:47:58.800 --> 0:48:01.480 be like, oh, everyone's so selfish and what is this 0:48:01.560 --> 0:48:03.000 world to come to? Or you can interpret it like, 0:48:03.120 --> 0:48:05.880 you know, oh, everybody only really cares about themselves, So 0:48:05.960 --> 0:48:08.319 I can do whatever I want. It doesn't people who 0:48:08.719 --> 0:48:11.279 It doesn't matter if people judge me or you know, 0:48:11.520 --> 0:48:14.799 reject me or any of these things because I don't 0:48:15.040 --> 0:48:19.359 really matter to them, So why who gives a shit 0:48:19.360 --> 0:48:21.880 about them judging me or you know any of that 0:48:22.080 --> 0:48:22.520 kind of thing. 0:48:22.800 --> 0:48:24.839 That's true. And I do flip flop between those two 0:48:25.000 --> 0:48:29.000 like ideas perspectives. Yeah, So like on days when I 0:48:29.120 --> 0:48:31.399 have I tend to have a lot of negative self talk. 0:48:31.840 --> 0:48:33.879 So on days when I have that negative self talk, 0:48:33.920 --> 0:48:36.759 it's like, oh, like everybody's just terrible, and like why 0:48:36.880 --> 0:48:39.120 why can't anybody care for me the way I would 0:48:39.120 --> 0:48:42.879 care for somebody else? And then I realized, like, if 0:48:43.760 --> 0:48:45.520 they don't care about me in the same way that 0:48:45.600 --> 0:48:49.320 I care about them, then why am I putting myself 0:48:49.520 --> 0:48:53.799 out on the level of that like emotional energy if 0:48:53.840 --> 0:48:56.959 they don't care about it? So it's not even worth 0:48:57.239 --> 0:48:59.839 the worry and the anxiety and the sad. 0:49:01.520 --> 0:49:07.960 Absolutely m hmm. Do you what's your dream in life? Hopeful? Life? 0:49:08.200 --> 0:49:08.480 Is to. 0:49:11.120 --> 0:49:13.480 Help other people not feel the way that I have felt. 0:49:16.200 --> 0:49:18.839 And with your friends, like the friends that you came 0:49:18.920 --> 0:49:21.160 here with and your boyfriends, you feel like you're doing that. 0:49:21.960 --> 0:49:24.160 I try to. I'm not a perfect person and I 0:49:24.200 --> 0:49:25.320 definitely make mistakes. 0:49:25.800 --> 0:49:26.840 Yeah, and. 0:49:29.080 --> 0:49:31.839 I've done a lot of work on myself to try 0:49:32.000 --> 0:49:34.600 to be the best person that I can be, not 0:49:34.719 --> 0:49:37.840 only for myself but for the people around me, because 0:49:37.920 --> 0:49:41.320 as I improve, my relationships with everybody around me improves. 0:49:41.600 --> 0:49:44.680 Right. See, that's it's just the thing thing you just said, right, 0:49:44.719 --> 0:49:47.920 because you said that you're you're oriented to make sure 0:49:47.920 --> 0:49:50.319 that everybody else is okay, to make sure. But then 0:49:50.360 --> 0:49:52.239 also what you just said was you were like, when 0:49:52.239 --> 0:49:54.879 I focus on myself and I improve myself, it does 0:49:54.960 --> 0:49:57.000 have a positive impact on other people as well. 0:49:57.120 --> 0:49:59.640 Yeah, And and I've also realized, like as I go 0:49:59.760 --> 0:50:03.319 through life that the people, like, as I improve, if 0:50:03.400 --> 0:50:08.120 the people that I thought were my friends or you know, 0:50:08.280 --> 0:50:10.839 close to me start to pull back a little bit, 0:50:11.400 --> 0:50:14.200 then those people weren't really there for me to begin with. Yeah, 0:50:14.320 --> 0:50:17.120 and it's hard for me to accept, and I think 0:50:17.160 --> 0:50:22.719 that's probably hard for anybody to accept, but in a 0:50:22.840 --> 0:50:25.480 strange way, it does offer me a sense of comfort, like, well, 0:50:26.000 --> 0:50:30.120 then they can go find people who who fit better 0:50:30.160 --> 0:50:32.080 in their lives than I do, and I can find 0:50:32.120 --> 0:50:34.360 better who I can find people who fit better in 0:50:34.440 --> 0:50:34.880 my life. 0:50:35.320 --> 0:50:37.160 It seems like you have a very healthy perspective on 0:50:37.200 --> 0:50:37.839 all these things. 0:50:38.040 --> 0:50:40.440 I tried to. It took a long time to get 0:50:40.440 --> 0:50:40.919 to that point. 0:50:41.080 --> 0:50:43.759 Yeah. I have a lot of negative self talk too. 0:50:43.880 --> 0:50:47.760 I'm trying to push it out, and it's stoked. 0:50:48.160 --> 0:50:52.040 It's hard, it's hard to combat, especially like for me, 0:50:52.239 --> 0:50:56.440 I tend to like ruminate on thoughts and it's so 0:50:56.960 --> 0:50:59.759 easy to find that like one negative thing and just 0:50:59.840 --> 0:51:00.960 like focus. 0:51:00.760 --> 0:51:03.839 On it for for days, right, right, right, But it's 0:51:03.840 --> 0:51:07.680 in your control, right, yeah, always so I fucking uh, 0:51:08.560 --> 0:51:11.920 that's why I forget all the time. Yeah, so all right, 0:51:12.040 --> 0:51:15.279 for the rest of this weekend, well you wouldn't meet. 0:51:15.320 --> 0:51:19.080 We'll try to focus on the positive things. 0:51:19.280 --> 0:51:20.360 I agree. I agree. 0:51:20.560 --> 0:51:21.399 What is your name again? 0:51:21.520 --> 0:51:22.120 My name is Zoe. 0:51:22.360 --> 0:51:22.520 Zoe. 0:51:22.680 --> 0:51:23.840 Is there anything else you want to say to the 0:51:23.920 --> 0:51:25.239 people of the computer before we go? 0:51:25.719 --> 0:51:26.000 Sure? 0:51:27.040 --> 0:51:31.320 I would like to say that I think everybody should 0:51:31.440 --> 0:51:35.680 focus not on themselves in like a selfish way, because 0:51:35.719 --> 0:51:40.040 focusing on yourself is an inherently selfish But if you 0:51:40.120 --> 0:51:43.120 see areas of your life that you you don't appreciate 0:51:44.040 --> 0:51:46.880 or maybe aren't working very well for you, you you 0:51:47.040 --> 0:51:51.160 can control that and you you can fix that, and 0:51:51.320 --> 0:51:53.239 how you do that is up to you. But but 0:51:53.400 --> 0:51:56.080 if you don't like something you're you can fix that. 0:51:56.440 --> 0:52:00.319 It's not a personality trait. It's not inherent to who 0:52:00.480 --> 0:52:03.040 you are as a human. 0:52:04.960 --> 0:52:08.960 If you don't like it, change it and eat cool 0:52:09.040 --> 0:52:12.239 ranch doritos. They told me to say that. Okay, nice 0:52:12.239 --> 0:52:16.600 to meet you. Hey, folks, it's Lyle again. If you 0:52:16.840 --> 0:52:19.759 enjoyed that little interview and you want to hear all 0:52:19.880 --> 0:52:22.960 of the interviews that I did at Electricforest, you can 0:52:23.040 --> 0:52:26.839 go to YouTube dot com slash Lyele forever and look 0:52:26.920 --> 0:52:30.920 for being a Gecko at Electric Forest, or you can 0:52:31.120 --> 0:52:34.200 just find the link in the episode description. All right, 0:52:34.560 --> 0:52:39.480 thanks God bless you. Goes on the line taking your 0:52:39.640 --> 0:52:40.879 phone calls every night. 0:52:42.160 --> 0:52:47.000 Goes's teaching you cloud in your life is not really 0:52:47.200 --> 0:52:47.920 an expert.