WEBVTT - Weed & Suicide Feat. Natasha Amrita Singh 0:00:06.760 --> 0:00:39.920 Ah ah, hello, oh hello, ah ah. 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:43.000 I just want to welcome to listen and say no 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:44.600 hundred thousand ills on. 0:00:44.720 --> 0:00:46.200 The front and the plunks. 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:49.200 I just want to look up at the only Yay, 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:53.880 welcome back. It's good Mom's bad choices. I'm Erica and 0:00:53.960 --> 0:00:58.320 I'm Mela. Happy Wednesday. Hope everyone's having a good week 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:02.200 so far. That you are setting goals making them happen. 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:07.080 I'm getting high, you're smoking. 0:01:07.840 --> 0:01:08.479 That's best. 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:12.920 Wat It's always way, Yeah, it is, really, you know. 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:19.040 It's a good way to reward yourself for hard, hard, hard, 0:01:19.400 --> 0:01:20.280 hard day. 0:01:20.600 --> 0:01:28.600 Had, especially being mom's. Yeah. Wow, that was really sad. Anyway, 0:01:29.040 --> 0:01:30.520 we're joining by a special guest. 0:01:32.319 --> 0:01:36.160 We're joined by a special guest, my friend Natasha. I've 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:39.040 known her. Yes, thank you for coming you. 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:43.240 I've known you for a long time now, actually like 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:46.160 four years, no, as long as I has been born 0:01:46.680 --> 0:01:52.280 number four yea, Oh my god. So Natasha hit me 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:54.520 up on and was like, or did you go through Nisha? 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:54.960 No? 0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:57.360 I think I just said to you damn. And I 0:01:57.480 --> 0:01:59.680 was like, can I just be like Henda your belly? 0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:02.760 Can we collab? I was like nine months pregnant, Am 0:02:02.800 --> 0:02:04.800 I having your belly? Was like sure, fuck it. 0:02:04.960 --> 0:02:07.640 Yeah, and then she feels like. I was like, do 0:02:07.720 --> 0:02:09.760 we do you have a photographer in mind? And she's like, yeah, 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:12.880 I have one nishe you like? And then you is 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:13.240 that hot? 0:02:13.320 --> 0:02:14.079 Did I introduce you that? 0:02:14.320 --> 0:02:17.120 You guys? Yeah? It was you for god, Yeah, it 0:02:17.240 --> 0:02:20.680 wasn't my choice and photographer was yours because now. 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:25.480 Right right right, speaking of Hannah, she does Hannah. She 0:02:25.520 --> 0:02:28.000 does a lot of things. She's going to Hannah and smoke. 0:02:27.840 --> 0:02:32.360 And interview all that's the same time because she's fucking amazing. 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:38.079 Just regular life. But and she's also a mama. She's 0:02:38.160 --> 0:02:38.560 a mom. 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:44.480 She's an advocate for marijuana, an advocate for PTSD, and 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:49.320 a business owner, entrepreneur, small business owner. 0:02:49.639 --> 0:02:55.400 Let me beautiful, all things. Thank you, thank you, thank 0:02:55.400 --> 0:02:57.040 you for having me. I'm really excited to be here. 0:02:57.240 --> 0:02:57.519 Thank you. 0:02:57.639 --> 0:02:58.560 We're excited to have you. 0:02:58.919 --> 0:02:59.320 We are. 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:06.519 So you you're not You're originally from Seattle, right, born yeah, 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.200 bod In actually California. Oh you are, Okay, born to 0:03:09.200 --> 0:03:11.280 Seattle when I was four, pretty much lived there in 0:03:11.280 --> 0:03:13.079 my whole life, and then I moved here when I 0:03:13.200 --> 0:03:18.359 was like twenty four, twenty five, twenty fifteen, and then 0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:21.400 I just started working at a lash bar, but at 0:03:21.560 --> 0:03:23.600 the same time, I was actually working at twenty four 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.840 Fitness from I always like to share this because women are. 0:03:26.960 --> 0:03:29.880 Like, how do you get where you did? And just 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:32.480 to encourage people because it's not just all about social media. 0:03:32.960 --> 0:03:34.640 I used to work really hard, so I was actually 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:37.839 working at twenty four Fitness after eleven PM to six am, 0:03:37.880 --> 0:03:39.720 and then I went to a lash bar in the daytime, 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:41.720 and so I can still network in all of that. 0:03:42.000 --> 0:03:45.200 And I was doing like part time modeling and acting 0:03:45.240 --> 0:03:46.440 and I still do like when I can. 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:48.800 But I feel like Lashes and Henna is like my 0:03:48.920 --> 0:03:50.600 love before. 0:03:50.680 --> 0:03:53.640 Actually, yeah, I sometimes do commercials. It's fun. 0:03:53.680 --> 0:03:55.240 When I have to have time for it, I'll do it. 0:03:55.760 --> 0:03:58.000 But that's kind of how it all started. And it 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:01.600 was twenty fifteen and four years later Rewind I had 0:04:01.640 --> 0:04:06.560 a baby girl. Her name's Amrita, and after having a 0:04:06.600 --> 0:04:08.280 good amount of clientele, I didn't want to leave my 0:04:08.320 --> 0:04:11.000 Shanti bar behind and I left it with a great technician. 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:13.000 And I'm living in Seattle currently for the past year 0:04:13.000 --> 0:04:15.920 and a half and it's been good pretty much traveling 0:04:15.960 --> 0:04:19.600 between both sides, both worlds, both worlds meaning Seattle and 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:23.600 lay for me and then just being a mom and 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:27.040 advocating for PTSD like you just mentioned for the last 0:04:27.160 --> 0:04:29.560 year because it's really important to my heart due to 0:04:30.000 --> 0:04:32.880 life incidences that has literally been thrown in front of me. 0:04:33.040 --> 0:04:35.080 And then yeah it would work and all that. 0:04:35.360 --> 0:04:40.120 Yeah. Sure, I just want to say that I really really, 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:43.640 really really love connecting and meeting with women. 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:47.440 That first one high so I'm like very in tune 0:04:47.480 --> 0:04:52.640 with my inner woman. But it just centers using so 0:04:52.760 --> 0:04:56.279 many ways my energy. I'm really into with my feelings 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:59.920 right now, and I need to say this. I need 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:00.440 to say that. 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:12.720 I do say it bites let not flow flow you know. 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:15.200 It makes you be like super honest, and. 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:21.360 Isn't it's nice organic California sungrown. 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:25.479 Yes, it makes again well yeah, and then it comes 0:05:25.520 --> 0:05:28.720 in to sexy like packaging. It's a box. 0:05:28.880 --> 0:05:30.480 I mean they have a few things and tubes too, 0:05:30.480 --> 0:05:31.839 but I really like that it comes in a box. 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:34.560 And it's like saving said you see life earlier because 0:05:36.279 --> 0:05:40.440 I was smoking these or yeah, he was smoking these and. 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:46.880 You can give that up happy day with smoking these, 0:05:47.360 --> 0:05:49.680 and I was just telling him, I'm like this, this 0:05:49.800 --> 0:05:50.640 is so detailed. 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:54.360 It has a little compartment for these matches, matches and 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:58.440 a little like what is that a ram or something? 0:06:00.160 --> 0:06:02.080 A goat with a bull It looks like a bull 0:06:02.120 --> 0:06:04.080 with it's a bull in a suit and shovel and 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:06.240 then a beautiful pre rolled joint. 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:09.480 And it's like they use all organic fertilizers and they 0:06:10.480 --> 0:06:14.360 they sethentic like pesticide. Said there, it's so they're very 0:06:14.400 --> 0:06:18.360 they're like very fair well paid their employees as well. 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:21.400 So yeah, it's a cool thing. 0:06:21.839 --> 0:06:23.800 Back to my feelings. I'm sorry, Oh. 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:27.960 Yeah, sorry, but we went back to you. 0:06:29.000 --> 0:06:30.360 Back here. I'm here with you. 0:06:30.640 --> 0:06:32.520 You're saying, I like to be around women who like 0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:36.480 hustle and are true to themselves and do what they 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:39.080 want to do, and that there's no limit where limitless. 0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:41.600 As women, I think we so often feel like we 0:06:41.680 --> 0:06:43.440 have to stay in one lane and we can only 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:46.040 do one thing, and it's like tabooed and be like 0:06:46.440 --> 0:06:48.320 I'm doing this and this and I did this. 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:50.080 And I also do that, and I'm by coastal and 0:06:50.120 --> 0:06:51.920 I'm going to do this because we can do it 0:06:52.080 --> 0:06:54.440 all and you actually think it's not possible and actually. 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:57.320 Yeah, and you know there's a process and it's just 0:06:57.480 --> 0:07:00.600 it's wonderful to be around hard working, successful women that 0:07:01.200 --> 0:07:05.520 you know dwells into all aspects of their passions and 0:07:05.560 --> 0:07:06.280 their creatives. 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:06.920 And I love that. 0:07:07.279 --> 0:07:09.760 Thank you, and I love you and I love you too. 0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:10.840 I love you. 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:13.480 You're one of those women. I love it. 0:07:13.920 --> 0:07:17.720 Reflections all moms do. Like I said before, it's awesome 0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:19.119 with moms together. 0:07:19.600 --> 0:07:19.960 Moms. 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:22.200 I think it's real important that the company you keep 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:26.080 is so important to like mind you. Yeah, yeah, I'm 0:07:26.240 --> 0:07:28.360 like the moment that I started being more conscious of 0:07:28.440 --> 0:07:30.880 the people that I surrounded myself with, my things started 0:07:30.920 --> 0:07:32.080 to change automatically for me. 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.880 You know, you're around people that aren't doing shit, but 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:40.320 you're doing ship. There's something there's that Oh my god, 0:07:40.440 --> 0:07:43.120 did you think it was a ghost? Who is coming 0:07:43.200 --> 0:07:46.160 in my fucking house? Erica, I forgot to tell you that. 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:48.480 I thought it. 0:07:48.960 --> 0:07:52.640 I thought about it, very paranoid. 0:07:53.000 --> 0:07:56.160 No, because Jamila doesn't he even knocking, And sometimes she'll 0:07:56.240 --> 0:07:58.040 just bust in through my door and. 0:07:58.040 --> 0:08:00.120 I'm just chilling. Imagine you can only bust in if 0:08:00.120 --> 0:08:02.600 it's open. But still that's not the point. 0:08:02.640 --> 0:08:02.880 You not. 0:08:03.400 --> 0:08:08.840 You know I'm coming. I'm like, I'm serious. Someone I 0:08:09.000 --> 0:08:11.120 know someone out there feeling. But it's not a burglar. 0:08:11.200 --> 0:08:14.000 It's fairy safe. Look it is eight oh two nine 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:15.600 o two p. There we go high. 0:08:17.600 --> 0:08:20.480 This is well, this is the thing about getting high. 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:23.040 I was saying stuff out loud in my head. You 0:08:23.160 --> 0:08:26.640 just didn't hear me. Okay, okay, okay did we did? 0:08:26.760 --> 0:08:29.160 We talk about feelings before interrupted to. 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:32.679 The feelings got out. They were out. 0:08:36.440 --> 0:08:38.920 Well, you were Your cannabis is greats. 0:08:39.000 --> 0:08:41.319 We can't remember saying at the moment. 0:08:41.679 --> 0:08:42.840 Once it settles in, it's gonna. 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:44.840 We're talking about our feelings and talking about your feeling. 0:08:44.920 --> 0:08:47.800 It's always good. It's a good combos. Arter, it's a 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:55.040 good combos I'm speaking of feelings. So you have a 0:08:55.160 --> 0:08:56.719 how old is your daughter? She's too. 0:08:57.280 --> 0:08:59.800 She has doesn't thinking. I'm thinking feelings tantrum. She hasn't 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:01.920 had she got into the tantrum phase yet because we 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:06.360 live and like this crazy like my head deep. 0:09:06.760 --> 0:09:09.439 Yeah, she's definitely like memorized logos now. So we've gone 0:09:09.440 --> 0:09:11.880 into the grocery store and she's like pulled out oreos 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:13.920 and threw them on the floor when I said no 0:09:14.120 --> 0:09:17.440 oreos and then laid on the floor and and then 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:18.800 I said, you know, let me know when you're going. 0:09:19.400 --> 0:09:21.480 Oh, so that's how you deal with them. Yeah, so 0:09:21.760 --> 0:09:23.400 you're like, do you like just ignore her when she 0:09:23.480 --> 0:09:23.800 goes through. 0:09:23.880 --> 0:09:28.120 I'll stand there with her. I can't just walk away. No, no, 0:09:28.200 --> 0:09:30.439 But I'm just saying, like everyone has totally some people, 0:09:30.720 --> 0:09:32.959 you know. I mean sometimes depending on how bad it is, 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:36.280 and if like it's more than five minutes or three minutes, yeah, 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:37.840 I'll put away the oreos and just pick her up 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.480 and say, you know later, or you have to eat 0:09:41.600 --> 0:09:43.760 dinner or pizza, and then you get cookie and she'll 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:44.240 agree to it. 0:09:44.320 --> 0:09:47.200 So it's nice. She's still in that cute like, yeah, 0:09:47.360 --> 0:09:51.000 small phase. You know, they don't know. And she's like 0:09:51.520 --> 0:09:53.200 the more bigger they get, the more annoying. 0:09:53.360 --> 0:09:55.000 Yeah. The older they get, they know that they can't know. 0:09:55.240 --> 0:09:57.520 They don't have to negotiate. When they're two, they're like, 0:09:57.640 --> 0:09:59.240 all right, I'll eat my dinner. 0:09:59.280 --> 0:10:03.079 And then you're performing full sentences and screaming at you 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:05.360 and that's important and it's like you know better, and 0:10:05.480 --> 0:10:06.640 that's why I'm more angry. 0:10:07.440 --> 0:10:10.720 And they're absorbing things just at a much faster past 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:11.600 in our generation. 0:10:11.800 --> 0:10:15.080 It's the scariest part. It's all the absorption of information 0:10:15.280 --> 0:10:18.800 so quickly, the memory, you know what? Speaking of that, 0:10:19.280 --> 0:10:20.400 we're spoking weed right now. 0:10:20.480 --> 0:10:22.319 And I actually was talking to my twelve year old 0:10:22.400 --> 0:10:25.840 niece and she she actually just had surgery on scolia, 0:10:25.880 --> 0:10:27.240 so so she's just sitting at home for the past 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:29.840 six weeks. But she actually told me that in school, 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.640 and these are twelve year olds, they're bringing vape pins 0:10:33.160 --> 0:10:34.920 to school and it shocks me, and I feel like 0:10:34.960 --> 0:10:37.000 it's very important to talk about these things. Where are 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:40.120 they getting them from? Why aren't parents checking in on them? 0:10:40.280 --> 0:10:43.079 Like I'm thirty years old and I'm not. First, I 0:10:43.200 --> 0:10:45.360 was annoyed obviously before it became a mom but I'm 0:10:45.440 --> 0:10:47.920 very happy that my parents actually FaceTime me and look 0:10:48.080 --> 0:10:50.280 behind my walls to see where. 0:10:50.120 --> 0:10:53.160 I am every day growing up. You know, I was like, why, oh, 0:10:53.280 --> 0:10:54.959 do you guys care so much? But I'm glad that 0:10:55.080 --> 0:10:55.319 they do. 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:59.040 But I feel like they people should have controlled like 0:10:59.120 --> 0:11:01.079 that about their on their kids right now too. I 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:04.880 know it sounds like too much, but if they're already smoky. 0:11:04.800 --> 0:11:07.199 I just think that there's just it's hard to keep 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:09.760 it under control at this point because of social media. 0:11:10.320 --> 0:11:12.439 But where are they getting fake pens from where do 0:11:12.559 --> 0:11:15.000 we get out fake pens? But at twelve years old 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:17.880 in sochol now and well, and they're they're hitting it 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:20.680 in school like they're hitting the vakee pens and elementary 0:11:21.120 --> 0:11:25.319 and going into they're selling in school like and she's like, 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:25.800 I've never. 0:11:25.760 --> 0:11:26.800 You know, I've never done it, but. 0:11:28.480 --> 0:11:29.240 I know I don't know. 0:11:31.640 --> 0:11:34.120 Even actually right, you know, they sell them on Amazon 0:11:34.679 --> 0:11:36.800 and kids are picking it up thinking that it's something 0:11:36.960 --> 0:11:37.440 good for them. 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:39.720 It's really not really kids you're. 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:41.640 Listening but a you're talking about vapens as in like 0:11:42.360 --> 0:11:46.120 THC they fake cell I pretty maybe it's like and 0:11:46.200 --> 0:11:48.960 they were like, I'm pretty sure someone says that they 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:52.559 bought something because said it was tea with THHC but 0:11:52.760 --> 0:11:54.199 obviously probably got removed later. 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:56.760 It's like, literally, by I remember that, you cannot you 0:11:56.800 --> 0:11:59.120 can pick that out if it wasn't really you can 0:11:59.200 --> 0:12:04.079 literally maybe it was on you know, on eBay or 0:12:04.120 --> 0:12:06.160 something like that. But I think one of a cousin 0:12:06.240 --> 0:12:08.280 of mine and I had to educate him too. He's 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:11.040 fifteen offline. 0:12:10.720 --> 0:12:14.080 And you don't do that. You can't speaking of this topic. 0:12:14.280 --> 0:12:14.559 Can't. 0:12:15.120 --> 0:12:19.000 What was your introductory to marijuana as a teenager for you, 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.160 or a teenager or a child. And then also, how 0:12:22.200 --> 0:12:24.800 do you intend or if you already have introduced your 0:12:24.840 --> 0:12:27.959 daughter to I do smoke around her? What's your parenting like? 0:12:28.600 --> 0:12:30.680 How do you what do you call our episode Moms 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:33.280 to Medicaid? We're moms in Medicaid? So yeah, and I 0:12:33.320 --> 0:12:36.719 always want to know how what was your introductory and 0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:38.839 how do you how do you plan on introducing it 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:39.480 to your daughter? 0:12:40.160 --> 0:12:42.719 Well, she's two, so she doesn't really know what it 0:12:42.840 --> 0:12:45.800 is right now, but she definitely sees mongo outside and 0:12:45.840 --> 0:12:46.600 come back inside. 0:12:46.640 --> 0:12:47.720 She doesn't know what she's doing. 0:12:48.120 --> 0:12:49.720 She just knows that she's colaughing on the other side 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.400 of the door, and she sometimes mocks me when I 0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:53.640 get back. But of course when she gets older, I'll 0:12:53.800 --> 0:12:57.040 educate her that it's my medicine. And she's already knows 0:12:57.120 --> 0:12:59.559 the scent of it. That's what I've smelt like for 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:02.200 the past year, you know, so's I don't think it's 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:04.839 going to be anything new to her. And thankfully in 0:13:04.960 --> 0:13:07.520 our generation, it is something that talked about more, and 0:13:07.960 --> 0:13:11.120 there's more education coming back, there's coming out by coming back, 0:13:11.160 --> 0:13:13.439 and more research coming out, and so I think it's 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:17.959 going to be better for us. And I started. Yeah, 0:13:17.960 --> 0:13:19.800 I think you asked me when did I started? It 0:13:19.920 --> 0:13:22.160 wasn't my teenage years. It was actually age of like 0:13:22.320 --> 0:13:26.320 twenty one, twenty two. It was later in my adult life, 0:13:26.400 --> 0:13:29.920 and it was actually after trying pharmacutical drugs first. 0:13:29.720 --> 0:13:32.920 Okay, And I did at least four years of counseling. 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.640 I again, something I like to always share because it's 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.720 not all about smoking weed. Definitely get like mental health 0:13:38.800 --> 0:13:41.839 and talk about it and share what's actually happening in 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:43.719 your life so you don't think you're going crazy. But 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:46.760 it's nice to know that my psychiatrist is okay with 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:50.200 micro do siting on weed and letting me walk away 0:13:50.200 --> 0:13:51.800 after four years knowing that I was going to be 0:13:52.040 --> 0:13:55.960 okay and right, Yeah, it's been like a journey. 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.959 Can can you share like what you're like, what what 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:02.319 specifically in your life? You know put you onto this 0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:05.520 journey of trying to I guess medicate or trying to 0:14:05.640 --> 0:14:09.120 deal with the PTSD that you've experienced. 0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:09.160 In your life. 0:14:10.080 --> 0:14:16.000 So when when I was younger, I the four years 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:19.000 of counseling that I originally just mentioned to you. I 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.840 did that because I was actually sexually abused when I 0:14:21.920 --> 0:14:25.480 was younger, and I for the longest time, I never 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:27.400 obviously wanted to share it with anyone, But I finally 0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:30.720 shared it with my parents at the age of twenty five, and. 0:14:32.080 --> 0:14:35.560 I worked through it with a psychiatrist. But it was 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:36.960 like it was just weird. 0:14:37.040 --> 0:14:40.920 After my second appointment, it was a it was a 0:14:41.080 --> 0:14:44.440 talk and a prescription handed to me. It was lithium, 0:14:44.600 --> 0:14:47.760 it was addirll, it was curcher lean, it was limicked, 0:14:47.800 --> 0:14:50.720 all all of these different things that they think that 0:14:50.840 --> 0:14:53.720 was going to magically clear me. But it was really 0:14:53.840 --> 0:14:56.160 just experiences that I needed to talk about and understand, 0:14:56.240 --> 0:14:59.240 like what happened to me that was most important. At 0:14:59.320 --> 0:15:01.600 least that's what I I thought it was. And after 0:15:01.720 --> 0:15:04.920 taking it for a few years, I just didn't feel 0:15:04.960 --> 0:15:07.560 like myself, Like I definitely had thoughts of suicide and 0:15:08.440 --> 0:15:12.560 attempted almost once even and I knew that it wasn't. 0:15:12.440 --> 0:15:14.800 Right for me, and slowly I, oh, while you're on 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:16.960 those medicines. Yeah, while I was on them. And this 0:15:17.120 --> 0:15:18.800 was at the age of like twenty one, twenty two. 0:15:18.920 --> 0:15:21.800 Mind you, I'm really happy that I went into a 0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:24.560 psychiatrist to begin with, because I was I was in 0:15:24.600 --> 0:15:26.280 college at the time, and I was like working a 0:15:26.320 --> 0:15:27.840 full time job. As soon as I got out of college, 0:15:27.880 --> 0:15:29.600 I went right into Make of America, trying to follow 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:33.080 my mom's footsteps and working a very full time adult job. 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:36.040 And I thought I was losing my mind. But it 0:15:36.120 --> 0:15:37.680 was really all the things that I didn't deal with 0:15:37.800 --> 0:15:40.760 when I was younger, and I was questioning, like why 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:42.560 did this happen to me? These things are not normal. 0:15:42.720 --> 0:15:45.560 It's affecting my sex life even like and you know, 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:48.560 as an adult, and like why is this happening? 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:48.960 You know? 0:15:49.120 --> 0:15:51.480 So I went in for help, and I'm glad I went. 0:15:51.600 --> 0:15:54.240 But the experience with medications did not work for me. 0:15:54.360 --> 0:15:58.840 So I slowly went off and drift, like drifted off 0:15:58.920 --> 0:16:00.680 of it and tried cannabis because of one of my 0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:03.640 cousins said it was working for her, and if it 0:16:03.680 --> 0:16:05.400 worked for her, I thought, maybe it will work for me. 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:09.000 And I feel like it changed my life, like all 0:16:09.040 --> 0:16:10.840 of a sudden, I was doing better in school. I 0:16:11.360 --> 0:16:14.520 went through cosmetology school, got my license with flying Colors. 0:16:15.040 --> 0:16:17.720 I mean, I started a business like just from scratch 0:16:17.800 --> 0:16:18.720 and it's doing. 0:16:18.600 --> 0:16:21.760 Great, and I mean, I feel like it's what you 0:16:21.840 --> 0:16:23.600 want to make of it, And it's not always a 0:16:23.680 --> 0:16:25.800 bad thing if you don't abuse it, or if you 0:16:25.840 --> 0:16:28.320 can actually get shit done, it can be for you. 0:16:28.440 --> 0:16:30.160 I mean, if you smoked me pass out, it's not 0:16:30.280 --> 0:16:32.640 for you, you know, or if you're not doing things 0:16:32.760 --> 0:16:33.440 or you you know. 0:16:33.920 --> 0:16:37.240 And a lot of people turn off from weed because 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:41.200 they smoke one strain and it doesn't help them, it's 0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:42.000 not for their body. 0:16:42.280 --> 0:16:43.840 Like how long did it take to find the strain? 0:16:44.640 --> 0:16:46.640 A while? Like, I mean a few months. And I 0:16:47.000 --> 0:16:50.320 describe it to women as looking for the right birth control. 0:16:50.560 --> 0:16:54.000 How many times have you tried several different birth controls? 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:56.560 So what makes you think just one strain of cannabis 0:16:56.600 --> 0:16:58.800 is going to work for you? And I'm not saying 0:16:59.280 --> 0:17:02.120 with mental health these pills don't work for people, but 0:17:02.240 --> 0:17:04.680 for me it did it. For some people, they also 0:17:04.800 --> 0:17:07.119 have to go through a bunch of different times, so 0:17:07.200 --> 0:17:09.280 why do you not do that with cannabis too? So 0:17:09.840 --> 0:17:12.240 I mean, over time, I've learned like sativa is for 0:17:12.359 --> 0:17:14.199 days that I'm just like really really low and I need, 0:17:14.680 --> 0:17:17.199 you know, an energetic lift for days that I need 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.600 to still create and show up to work and be happy. 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:22.640 But if I have like anxiety or I'm stressed out. 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:25.000 I don't do that. I'll choose like a hybrid or 0:17:25.119 --> 0:17:28.440 an indica to just calm my energy. Or I do 0:17:28.720 --> 0:17:33.240 very low dosages of edibles. Now. I started off with 0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:36.280 like two point five milligrams and like five milligrams and 0:17:36.359 --> 0:17:39.560 the highest I can personally go with ten milligrams. And 0:17:39.840 --> 0:17:42.080 I did that just personally on my own and trying it. 0:17:42.200 --> 0:17:44.840 But some people just have a ten milligram and they're 0:17:44.920 --> 0:17:49.040 like throwing up and they're seeing shit and okay, and 0:17:49.280 --> 0:17:52.360 it's not in its processes differently through your link. 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:54.840 Yeah, I was telling her into edibles when I eat 0:17:54.920 --> 0:17:57.520 edibles as no matter what does Yeah, it's not an 0:17:57.560 --> 0:17:58.679 oblind I feel like. 0:17:58.720 --> 0:18:01.440 I was direct quote was first time that she would try. 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:03.800 I felt like my eyes are shaking. It was like, 0:18:04.440 --> 0:18:07.280 what was your first experience of cannabis? Both of yours cannabis. 0:18:07.440 --> 0:18:10.360 My first experience with cannibal smoking or smoking. 0:18:10.480 --> 0:18:10.840 I was. 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:15.720 Thirteen, and I'm pretty sure it was like I don't 0:18:15.720 --> 0:18:17.960 even know if it was really weird. Honestly, looking back 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:21.320 on it, it's quite questionable, but I know I didn't 0:18:21.320 --> 0:18:23.560 get high, and I bought it and then I got 0:18:23.680 --> 0:18:25.960 I was in my friend's backyard, or I was by 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:28.879 an abandoned pool of the house. 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:31.719 Now that I'm thinking about it, that's very strange. Then 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:33.520 we went back and smoked in her guest house. 0:18:33.600 --> 0:18:37.720 Shout out to Dylan Octagon. Then I left the weed 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:39.720 of my pocket. My mom found it the next day. 0:18:40.280 --> 0:18:42.680 So the first time I smoked, I also got caught, 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:47.359 yelled at, cried, she cried, I got yelled at. 0:18:48.920 --> 0:18:49.560 My dad. 0:18:51.480 --> 0:18:53.440 Maybe I was even younger. Actually I thought I was 0:18:53.480 --> 0:18:58.359 like twelve, actually around twelve. But I knew that she 0:18:58.600 --> 0:19:00.800 was smoking. I knew like I or I would see 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:01.879 like things I thought I had. 0:19:02.760 --> 0:19:05.240 Your mom smokes, Yes, I love, I need to meet 0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:05.520 your mom. 0:19:06.320 --> 0:19:06.520 Love. 0:19:06.640 --> 0:19:10.199 Yes, I mean she's not like a heavy smoker by 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:12.679 any means. Like she she's like she takes one hit 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:15.360 and she's like, ooh, you know good though that she's 0:19:15.480 --> 0:19:17.879 open to it. Yeah, but she wasn't open to her 0:19:17.960 --> 0:19:19.119 daughter doing it, you know. 0:19:19.280 --> 0:19:20.760 And I get it because I have a kid now too, 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:23.919 and I'm like, but I have a different perspective now 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:27.320 just because I think because it just doesn't seem fair. 0:19:27.359 --> 0:19:29.200 It doesn't seem fair that I can smoke and then 0:19:29.440 --> 0:19:33.159 I have an issue when you smoke. Let's talk about it. 0:19:33.280 --> 0:19:35.240