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Speaker 1: On this week's episode of Cultivating her Space.

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Speaker 2: Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who

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Speaker 2: we think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.

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Speaker 1: Today's episode is sure to provide you with motivation, inspiration,

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Speaker 1: or a fresh perspective. If you have any AHA moments

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Speaker 1: or appreciate anything from this episode, please leave us a

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Speaker 1: review to let us know we're on the right track. Also,

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Speaker 1: we release episodes every Friday, so be sure to subscribe

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Speaker 1: on iTunes and visit cultivatinghurspace dot com to access our

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Speaker 1: exclusive after show and other bonus content from the Patreon tab.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Cultivating her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting

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Speaker 2: women like you. We're your hosts, Doctor Dominique Bussard, a

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Speaker 2: college professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 3: And Terry Lomax, a techie and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 3: world where black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 3: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 3: five roids to fake friends, and create a safe space

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Speaker 3: where black women can just be.

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Speaker 2: Hey, lady, it's doctor dom here from the Cultivating her

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Speaker 2: Space podcast. Are you currently a resident of the state

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Speaker 2: of California and contemplating starting your therapy journey. Well, if so,

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Speaker 2: please reach out to me at doctor Dominique Brusard dot com.

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Speaker 2: That's d R D O M I N I q

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Speaker 2: U E B R O U S s r D

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Speaker 2: dot com to schedule a free fifteen minute consultation. I

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Speaker 2: look forward to hearing from you our quote of the day, lady.

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Speaker 2: This quote is a special quote because it comes to

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Speaker 2: us from our very own Terry Lomax, otherwise known as T.

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Speaker 2: The best thing I can do for myself, my loved ones,

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Speaker 2: and my community is to heal myself, love myself, and

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Speaker 2: be true to myself. And I'm gonna say that one

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Speaker 2: more time for the folks in the back to make

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Speaker 2: sure you heard this. The best thing I can do

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Speaker 2: for myself, my loved ones, and my community is to

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Speaker 2: heal myself, love myself, and be true to myself. Now, T.

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Speaker 4: I know sometimes you like to toss this.

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Speaker 2: Back to me now Ever, because these are your words,

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Speaker 2: I can't let you do that. I gotta let you

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Speaker 2: tell us what you were thinking and give us some

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Speaker 2: context behind our quote of the day.

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Speaker 4: Yes, ma'am. Now let me just say donas you were

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Speaker 4: reading that I'd low key felt a little emotional because

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Speaker 4: I feel like this, for me feels like it's been

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Speaker 4: a lifelong journey. It's taking a lifelong journey with feels

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Speaker 4: like to learn this lesson. And so for me, I

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Speaker 4: would say that, you know, based on you know, being

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Speaker 4: raised in a dysfunctional, abusive household and experiencing a lot

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Speaker 4: of trauma, there were many times in life where I

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Speaker 4: was looking outside of myself for the answers, and so

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Speaker 4: I feel like, after so many experiences and trial and

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Speaker 4: error and you know, making mistakes, I realized that girl,

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Speaker 4: it's all it all starts with you, Like it all

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Speaker 4: starts with you, and the more that we can pour

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Speaker 4: into ourselves, the better we can serve the people around us.

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Speaker 4: And so I think that that is really what that

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Speaker 4: quote means to me. It's like really starts with the person.

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Speaker 2: In the mirror wain blank period Q Michael Jackson, man

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Speaker 2: in the mirror, Like.

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Speaker 4: Okay about you, Like when you hear I know you

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Speaker 4: said it's my quote, it's my quote, right, but like

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Speaker 4: when you read it, when you hear it, like what

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Speaker 4: does it mean for you? Like, how does it relate

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Speaker 4: to your personal journey?

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Speaker 2: Well, when I hear it, what I think about is

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Speaker 2: the necessity to do your own work right. And then

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Speaker 2: what it also reminds me of is the quote hurt people,

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Speaker 2: hurt people, right that if we aren't prioritizing healing ourselves

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Speaker 2: and pouring into ourselves and taking care of ourselves, like,

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Speaker 2: you can't show up for other people if you're functioning

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Speaker 2: at less than one hundred percent, because what you give

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Speaker 2: them is not going to be your best and your

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Speaker 2: loved ones, your community, but most importantly, yourself deserve you

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Speaker 2: at your best.

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Speaker 4: Yes, amen, they say, hurt people, hurt people, and heal people,

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Speaker 4: heal people. Okay, yes, there we go. So I guess

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Speaker 4: we should just jump on it. Lady. This is going

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Speaker 4: to be a very casual like girl talk conversation. So

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Speaker 4: if you are on our Patreon and you've decided to

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Speaker 4: support this black owned business, okay, on our patreon, you

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Speaker 4: can go to herspace podcast dot com. I'm sitting here

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Speaker 4: on the couch, comfy in my robe. Okay, oh, rad

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Speaker 4: chat with Dr Dom. Doctor Dom sitting over there comfy

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Speaker 4: as well, and we're just having girls talks. We want

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Speaker 4: you to join in the conversation. You can follow us

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Speaker 4: on Instagram at Herspace podcast and let us know your

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Speaker 4: thoughts about the tips that we're going to share today

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Speaker 4: the words of wisdom. And the one thing I will

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Speaker 4: say down about this topic is that when thinking about

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Speaker 4: this particular topic, there were a couple questions I've been

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Speaker 4: asking myself in life at this stage, and it's what

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Speaker 4: do I know to be true? And why do I

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Speaker 4: know it to be true? Because I think sometimes we

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Speaker 4: learn things when we're younger, but we never really question them,

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Speaker 4: or some people do, right, but some of us don't.

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Speaker 4: We're just like, oh, I learned that this is how

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Speaker 4: I should do things, so I'm just going to do

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Speaker 4: it for the rest of my life. And I feel

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Speaker 4: like now I'm like, well, wait, at this stage and

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Speaker 4: age and season, like, what do I know to be

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Speaker 4: true in life? Why is it true for me? And

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Speaker 4: then thinking about the different lessons that I learned, and

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Speaker 4: I think that if I could sum up all the

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Speaker 4: lessons that I learned, many of them really go back

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Speaker 4: to being true to yourself. And so I say, let's

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Speaker 4: just digg on in. Okay, the first one. Let's do it, okay, child.

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Speaker 4: So the first word of wisdom is everyone is running

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Speaker 4: a program based on their beliefs and feelings. Don't take

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Speaker 4: things personally. I'm saying that that way for myself because

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Speaker 4: this is something I've struggled with for a long time.

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Speaker 4: Don't let compliments lift you too high or criticism bring

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Speaker 4: you too low. Let's dig into a dime.

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Speaker 2: I mean, well, come on, let's be real, all right,

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Speaker 2: So we all know that, well, I'm assuming we all know.

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Speaker 2: Maybe everyone doesn't know that. Oftentimes we hear the positive,

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Speaker 2: but we hold on to the negative, right, we hold

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Speaker 2: on to the criticisms. And the reality is that oftentimes,

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Speaker 2: more times than not, the praises and the criticisms that

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Speaker 2: people bestow upon us is about their, not ours. And

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Speaker 2: I want to emphasize that I'm also saying the praises

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Speaker 2: as well. Right, We human beings are fickle. So I

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Speaker 2: might praise you one day about something that you did,

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Speaker 2: and chances are the thing that you did may have

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Speaker 2: been amazing. Right, But if I step back and reflect

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Speaker 2: on why I praised you for that, mm hmm, it

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Speaker 2: ain't about you. It's about me, right. My praising you

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Speaker 2: is about what I value, yes, and what I'm holding

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Speaker 2: on to mm hmm. You are the beneficiary of that praise,

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Speaker 2: they might feel good, and it very.

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Speaker 4: Well could feel good. Hopefully it does, right, Yeah, but

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Speaker 4: it's not about you. That's about me.

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Speaker 2: And likewise, if I bestow some criticism upon you, while

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Speaker 2: some of that could potentially really be fruitful feedback for you.

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Speaker 4: More than likely it's for me.

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Speaker 2: It's coming from things again, things that I value and

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Speaker 2: or things that I might be struggling with. So don't

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Speaker 2: take it personal, the praises or the criticisms exactly.

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Speaker 3: Hey lady, it's Terry here, Dom and I want to

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Speaker 3: take a moment to thank you for choosing to listen

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Speaker 3: to our podcast. We love you for real, and we

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Speaker 3: want to give you a chance to learn more about

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Speaker 3: what's important to us. So tell us what you think

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Speaker 3: about this.

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Speaker 2: Imagine a world where you have a chance to get

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Speaker 2: featured on the Cultivating her Space podcast and share your business,

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Speaker 2: brand or perspective with millions around the globe. Imagine joining

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Speaker 2: our monthly virtual video check ins where you can connect

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Speaker 2: with like minded black women like you and share your

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Speaker 2: ideas and episode suggestions with Terry and I. Now, I

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Speaker 2: want you to imagine a world where you're in the

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Speaker 2: exclusive Cultivating her Space sanctuary Slack channel, and throughout your

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Speaker 2: day and week, you are conversing with us about what's

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Speaker 2: happening in your life and sharing funny gifts and or

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Speaker 2: personal wins.

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Speaker 3: How does that sound? Hopefully this is of your alley, lady,

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Speaker 3: because we are taking things to the next level of

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Speaker 3: this year, and we're doubling down on investing in our community.

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Speaker 4: That means you.

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Speaker 3: We want to meet you, connect with you, and create

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Speaker 3: communities of genuine women who love on black women and

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Speaker 3: push our culture and movement forward. Launch this podcast in

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Speaker 3: twenty nineteen, and to date we have not missed a week.

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Speaker 3: We've been great stewards of our platform, all while working

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Speaker 3: full time and navigating our own ups and downs. We

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Speaker 3: release fresh new content every single Friday like clockwork, and

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Speaker 3: we have hundreds of valuable episodes and workshops that can

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Speaker 3: really help you up level your life. So if you

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Speaker 3: love our mission or you've gotten value from us, we

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Speaker 3: invite you to give back and help us push this

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Speaker 3: community effort forward. Visit herspacepodcast dot com and click Patreon.

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Speaker 3: You can learn more about our goals and exclusive offerings

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Speaker 3: on Patreon, and we highly highly encourage you to join

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Speaker 3: the Sister frontier so that you can get someone on

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Speaker 3: one time with us. We also have an option for

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Speaker 3: you to donate on a one time basis if that

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Speaker 3: meets your needs. Again Herspace podcast dot com, and you

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Speaker 3: can click that link that says Patreon. All right, lady,

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Speaker 3: we'll hop right back into the conversation. Oh.

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Speaker 4: I think that a lot of people are going to

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Speaker 4: connect with this because I've talked to many women, and

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Speaker 4: I think this is something that many people deal with,

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Speaker 4: like taking things personally, and I think, like you said,

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Speaker 4: I'm understanding that someone's actions and words are literally a

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Speaker 4: reflection of their own internal struggles or perceptions and not

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Speaker 4: necessarily a judgment of us. It's just so important. And

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Speaker 4: I have two examples, one that just happened recently and

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Speaker 4: one that happened years ago. I went to the hair

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Speaker 4: salon the other day and I walked in. It was

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Speaker 4: like pretty late after hours because child the somebody called

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Speaker 4: I'll say the long story short. I'm in there. I

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Speaker 4: see these two black women doing hair and I go

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Speaker 4: in and I'm, you know, pretty bubbly, like hey, how

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Speaker 4: are you? And the energy was like very it was

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Speaker 4: kind of like stink energy. And I was like that's interesting.

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Speaker 4: I came in like with a smile, and I was

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Speaker 4: being kind, and I feel like before I would have

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Speaker 4: been like, oh, I guess they don't like me. I

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Speaker 4: guess I did something. And because of just where my

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Speaker 4: mindset is right now, I was like, oh, I'm mna

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Speaker 4: send them some good energy, because clearly there's something going

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Speaker 4: on with them, because if you see another black woman

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Speaker 4: and she's like hey, You're like, hey, how are you

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Speaker 4: and they don't match that energy, then it's like she

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Speaker 4: could be having a bad day, not feeling good about herself,

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Speaker 4: not in the mood. But that don't got she to

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Speaker 4: do with me, because I'm feeling amazing right now, right

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Speaker 4: And so I was able to let that shit brush

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Speaker 4: off and like sensus some positive energy and I kept pushing.

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Speaker 4: And so I think that again, everyone is approaching you

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Speaker 4: based on their level of consciousness awareness and where their

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Speaker 4: energy is. And the other example. This happened like more

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Speaker 4: than a decade ago, but it's something that comes up

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Speaker 4: for me often because because of what I went through

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Speaker 4: in life, I often prioritize other people's opinions and their

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Speaker 4: beliefs over my own. I had a lot of trouble

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Speaker 4: trusting myself, my intuition. So years ago, don when I

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Speaker 4: did one of my first I'm going to say one

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Speaker 4: of my first like speeches, let's say it was a speech.

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Speaker 4: It was a talk, and this person gave me feedback.

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Speaker 4: This was someone who's more mature than me, more advanced,

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Speaker 4: gave me feedback and they were like, oh, when you

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Speaker 4: do that talk, you shouldn't tell people that you're about

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Speaker 4: to take a drink of water or something like that.

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Speaker 4: Because I was like, oh, let me take a super water.

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Speaker 4: I'm gonna get back to it. And that stuck with

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Speaker 4: me because I was like, oh my god, Like I

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Speaker 4: felt like I was being like it was feedback, but

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Speaker 4: ilt like I was being reprimanded, and so I was like,

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Speaker 4: oh my gosh, I made this big mistake. And then

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Speaker 4: years I've been toured years later, as I matured in

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Speaker 4: my field and I began to be more transparent with

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Speaker 4: my audience when I was speaking, I was like, that

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Speaker 4: was literally that person's own perspective. I often tell my

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Speaker 4: audience like, girl, let me get some water real quick,

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Speaker 4: like it's just a part of my you know, transparent exactly.

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Speaker 4: And so in my mind, what it said to me

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Speaker 4: was it doesn't matter where someone is in their journey,

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Speaker 4: Like we all have our own style and swag and

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Speaker 4: how we decided to show up. And just because that

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Speaker 4: person gave me that feedback, it doesn't mean that it's

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Speaker 4: the bite like it's gospel, right, Like I get to

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Speaker 4: change with anything that's put on your table, lady, you

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Speaker 4: get to choose. Okay, is this mine? Does it connect

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Speaker 4: with me? Do I want to follow this?

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Speaker 5: Like?

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Speaker 4: It's not just gospel because this person who was more

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Speaker 4: experienced and you said it. So that's the other example

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Speaker 4: I wanted to point out. I love that example.

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Speaker 2: I think that it Yeah, that it shows that everyone

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Speaker 2: has their own experiences. And what it also shows is

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Speaker 2: that that's that person's thing, right, that that might be

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Speaker 2: the thing that they're anxious about, right, Or there's something

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Speaker 2: that they are worried about that they're now trying to

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Speaker 2: shield you from.

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Speaker 5: Right.

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Speaker 2: So sometimes the things that people that people may be

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Speaker 2: trying to protect us from is about their own stuff

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Speaker 2: and not necessarily ours. And so discernment is going to

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Speaker 2: be key, yes, And so then that takes us to

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Speaker 2: our second word of wisdom. Authenticity is the daily practice

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Speaker 2: of letting go of who we think we're supposed to

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Speaker 2: be and embracing who we are. Oh, Chod, I need

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Speaker 2: to repeat that for the people in the back. Me

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Speaker 2: go ahead, let me say it one more time. Authenticity

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Speaker 2: is the daily practice of letting go of who we

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Speaker 2: think we're supposed to be.

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Speaker 4: And embracing who we are.

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Speaker 2: Lady, I cannot tell you how many times I have

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Speaker 2: heard well, because you are ex you are supposed to be,

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Speaker 2: or you should be doing ABC as a recovering perfectionist

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Speaker 2: and people pleaser. I can acknowledge that I listened to

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Speaker 2: a lot of that right and it would put me

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Speaker 2: oftentimes into a tailspin of anxiety because I felt like

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Speaker 2: I wasn't living up to other people's standards. And I'll

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Speaker 2: be honest, there are moments where.

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Speaker 4: DO question.

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Speaker 2: Certain things that I might do. And I want to

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Speaker 2: distinguish though, the difference between questioning what I do, like

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Speaker 2: my decision making in regards to ensuring that I'm being

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Speaker 2: my authentic self versus questioning my decision making because it's

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Speaker 2: focused on being a perfectionist or pleasing other people. And

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Speaker 2: really the goal is if I'm questioning my decision making,

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Speaker 2: the question I should be asking myself is is this

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Speaker 2: decision reflective of me living in my authenticity. Is this

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Speaker 2: decision allowing me to be my true self and not

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Speaker 2: about whether or not it's going to please anybody else.

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Speaker 4: That was a whole word talk about pleasing other people

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Speaker 4: and just being in alignment with yourself and what feels

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Speaker 4: good for you. So one thing I'm working through in

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Speaker 4: therapy right now that I brought up recently was even

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Speaker 4: though I've done the work, I am a work in

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Speaker 4: progress always right always, and I am in therapy right

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Speaker 4: now exploring this thing that I do that definitely comes

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Speaker 4: from childhood, definitely comes from the trialm I've experienced, and

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Speaker 4: it's being willing to do something versus wanting to do

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Speaker 4: something right. If someone were to put something on the table,

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Speaker 4: it's like, Okay, I'll say yes because I'm willing to

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Speaker 4: do it, but like, do I want to know? So

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Speaker 4: right now I'm working on doing my best to ensure

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Speaker 4: that whatever I move forward with is a full body.

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Speaker 5: Yes.

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Speaker 4: If it's like that. If you listen to your body, Lady,

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Speaker 4: our bodies listen, the body keeps the score. The body

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Speaker 4: be talking, the body be telling U stuff. If someone

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Speaker 4: presents something to you or there's an opportunity, something comes

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Speaker 4: up and your body is not one hundred percent with it,

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Speaker 4: you know how, You know that feeling in your gut

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Speaker 4: that you get when you're like I can't name it,

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Speaker 4: but like something's telling me this ain't it got We

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Speaker 4: have to listen to that. And one of the other

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Speaker 4: things I've learned in relation to this particular word of

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Speaker 4: wisdom dom is that nothing valuable in life is set

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Speaker 4: it and forget it. So I remember when I was

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Speaker 4: on my confidence journey heavy in grad school, and I

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Speaker 4: did all the affirmations and the posters, and I was

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Speaker 4: doing all the things, and I felt really good about

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Speaker 4: myself at a certain point. And then years later I

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Speaker 4: stopped doing all that and I found myself struggling confidence again,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, wait a second, I already did this,

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Speaker 4: And it was like, no, boo, this is a daily practice.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: There's an emphasis on daily practice of this, this particular

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Speaker 4: quote we shared, and so it needs to be maintained, right,

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Speaker 4: Anything worthwhile needs to be maintained. So checking in with

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Speaker 4: ourselves on a consistent basis, is this relationship in alignment

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Speaker 4: with who I am today? Is this career or job

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Speaker 4: in alignment with my passions and my interests, like checking in.

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Speaker 4: We don't just sign up for things and enroll on

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Speaker 4: things and then we're like, Okay, I'm doing this for life.

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Speaker 4: We should be checking in with ourselves often to make

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Speaker 4: sure that we are being authentic. Right, So yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: that's number definitely, definitely a daily practice. Number three is

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Speaker 4: your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see

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Speaker 4: your worth. Abae, I don't think we're gonna read all

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Speaker 4: of these twice, but I feel like this one needs

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Speaker 4: to be read again as well. Don Okay, so number three, lady,

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Speaker 4: your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability to see

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Speaker 4: your worth. The best way that I can describe this one,

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Speaker 4: dom is that I think I may have said this

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Speaker 4: on a previous episode, but let's just say let's just

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Speaker 4: you dating as an example, right. I say that you

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Speaker 4: are considering dating someone and you're putting in effort, you're

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Speaker 4: showing up, but the person's not reciprocating, and you know

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Speaker 4: you're amazing, but they're still not showing up. That can

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Speaker 4: have the ability to make you question your worth, right

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Speaker 4: because you're like, wait a minute, I know I thought

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Speaker 4: I was a shit but this person is treating me

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Speaker 4: like I'm not. I think it really goes down to

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Speaker 4: this little analogy that I've been like, or this is

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Speaker 4: it a metaphor and analogy all? It's been a long day,

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Speaker 4: so you got to help me with my words. But

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Speaker 4: down you tell me what this is I'm about to share.

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Speaker 4: So let's say that you are a one hundred dollars bill, right,

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Speaker 4: and you give you give this one hundred dollar bill

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Speaker 4: to a child, right. They will likely rip it up,

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Speaker 4: tear it up, throw it on water, whatever. Right, They're

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Speaker 4: going to destroy it because they don't know the value

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Speaker 4: of it. But just because they don't know the value

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Speaker 4: of it doesn't decrease the the notes value, you know

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Speaker 4: what I mean, Like, it's still a one hundred dollar bill.

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Speaker 4: It's just that it's in the wrong hands.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 4: It's just kind of like how we've heard in the Bible,

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Speaker 4: I don't toss pearls amongst swine. Someone doesn't value you,

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Speaker 4: and they're showing that they don't value you, that you

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Speaker 4: may need to remove yourself from that situation, right. And

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Speaker 4: so I think that's what this makes me think of

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Speaker 4: when I hear this particular word of wisdom what about

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Speaker 4: you don what comes up for you?

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Speaker 2: I think for me when I hear that, it's I

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Speaker 2: think the dating example was good. But then I also

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Speaker 2: think about something that might even be more common for

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Speaker 2: people is in the workplace or in your family relationships

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Speaker 2: in dynamics right, yes, that, but more likely people will

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Speaker 2: resonate with this when they think about the workplace right

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Speaker 2: that you can be and I've seen this happen a lot,

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Speaker 2: particularly for black women. You can be dotting your eyes,

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Speaker 2: crossing your te's, checking all the boxes plus some because

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Speaker 2: y'all know that's.

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Speaker 4: How we do, okay, And.

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Speaker 2: You get skipped over for that promotion, you get turned

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Speaker 2: down for that raise, and the feedback that you get

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Speaker 2: in your yearly evaluation.

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Speaker 4: Is full of criticism, no praise.

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Speaker 2: Well if you know, because I because I want to

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Speaker 2: acknowledge that there are times when we ain't doing what

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Speaker 2: we're supposed to be doing. But when you know that

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Speaker 2: you were doing all the things, and then some that's

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Speaker 2: about them, their inability or refusal. Let me clarify, because

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Speaker 2: it's usually not an inability, it's it's a clear refusal

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Speaker 2: to acknowledge your worth or to see your worth is

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Speaker 2: not about you that's a them thing, and so don't

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Speaker 2: let it make.

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Speaker 4: You question.

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Speaker 2: Your value or your abilities. And I really want to

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Speaker 2: stress this. I know that they can happen to us

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Speaker 2: at any age and stage in our careers, but I

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Speaker 2: truly want to stress this to our women who are

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Speaker 2: early in their careers because that's when it happens most frequently,

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Speaker 2: and that's when that's when we often struggle to see it.

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Speaker 2: When we're early in our careers, someone gives us some

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Speaker 2: negative feedback and I'm and I want to be clear

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Speaker 2: that it is negative feedback and it's not meant to

403
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Speaker 2: be helpful to us at all. It is meant to

404
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Speaker 2: make us question our worth.

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Speaker 4: Don't let it get to you.

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Speaker 2: When you know that you are going above and beyond,

407
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Speaker 2: you are running circles around your peers. Your value is

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Speaker 2: still the same. You are still an asset, you are

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Speaker 2: still amazing, and they're threatened by that. That's why they're

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Speaker 2: treating you that way.

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Speaker 4: And lady, if you have to create an accomplishments book

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Speaker 4: for yourself and list off some of the things that

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Speaker 4: you've done, because I think sometimes when you're in the

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Speaker 4: midst of it, it can be so hard to like

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Speaker 4: not let that penetrate your spirit because you're glinding out.

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Speaker 4: But that's the only feedback you're getting. So if you

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Speaker 4: have to go to your circle, go to your support system,

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Speaker 4: or re listen to this episode, okay, and re listen

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Speaker 4: to what doctor Dom just said, get your Accomplishment's book,

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Speaker 4: and you build up your own on self esteem and

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Speaker 4: a lot of times in life. Two times, I feel

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Speaker 4: like we often aren't paid our work, Like we're work, No,

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Speaker 4: we're not. Just show us that.

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Speaker 2: Yes, Like I think the last thing that I saw

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Speaker 2: was like black women are paid maybe sixty five cents

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Speaker 2: on a dollar. Okay, yeah, don't quote me on that,

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Speaker 2: but I know it ain't. It ain't equal.

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Speaker 4: That's what actually exactly. So you have focus on your

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Speaker 4: own growth and accomplishments, lady, and surround yourself with people

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Speaker 4: who appreciate and uplift you. Okay, all right, We moving

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Speaker 4: on along, ladies, and moving on along. So number four,

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Speaker 4: I feel like you should say this one Dome, but

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Speaker 4: I'm going I'll read we know, we know that's my phrase.

434
00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 2: Trust in the process of becoming your true self. So

435
00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 2: y'all know I love that phrase. I wholeheartedly with all

436
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:57,639
Speaker 2: of my being. Believe in this, this statement of trust

437
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:02,720
Speaker 2: the process right. Trusting in the process of becoming your

438
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 2: true self, for some people can probably be.

439
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:08,080
Speaker 4: One of the.

440
00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 2: Hardest processes to trust in, particularly if you have grown

441
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:18,760
Speaker 2: up in an environment or come up in a space

442
00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 2: where you've been taught the opposite, where you've been taught

443
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:31,640
Speaker 2: to judge and or question.

444
00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:34,040
Speaker 4: Who you are.

445
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:37,080
Speaker 2: But your journey is meant to be your journey, and

446
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:41,919
Speaker 2: we'll talk about that a little bit later, and trusting

447
00:27:43,400 --> 00:27:50,639
Speaker 2: that happen, the good, the bad, the ugly, and then

448
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 2: the regular deglarship in between, is all meant to get

449
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:58,320
Speaker 2: you closer to.

450
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 4: Be your true self.

451
00:28:04,359 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 2: And I think the other piece within that is within

452
00:28:08,400 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 2: trusting the process is trusting yourself.

453
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:15,760
Speaker 4: Right that.

454
00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:23,000
Speaker 2: Even if everything else is saying a girl, don't do that,

455
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:28,919
Speaker 2: but your intuition in spirit is leading you in a

456
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:35,560
Speaker 2: particular direction with it. Yes, what is meant for you

457
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:44,840
Speaker 2: will be for you. And again, whether it turns out good, bad, ugly, regular,

458
00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:49,040
Speaker 2: and you don't understand it in the moment, know that

459
00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 2: there's a reason that it's happening the way that it is,

460
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 2: and that reason might not be revealed.

461
00:28:56,120 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 4: For a long time. Listen and that's the part that sucks.

462
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:04,400
Speaker 2: I could tell you, I can definitely testify to that.

463
00:29:04,400 --> 00:29:08,360
Speaker 2: That is the part that sucks. The not knowing why

464
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:16,000
Speaker 2: this is happening. Yes, but trust that it is happening

465
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 2: for your benefit. And you might not see that benefit

466
00:29:19,920 --> 00:29:23,360
Speaker 2: right now, but it is happening for your benefit.

467
00:29:24,560 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 4: Ad to the manme Okay, amen, all that, because lady,

468
00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:31,360
Speaker 4: here's the thing, Like, it's so important to embrace your

469
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:34,640
Speaker 4: own journey of self discovery with patience and recognize that

470
00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,080
Speaker 4: growth takes time and effort. And as Donald was just saying,

471
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:40,960
Speaker 4: hindsight is twenty twenty down. There are so many things

472
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 4: that I went through in life. I was like, why

473
00:29:42,800 --> 00:29:45,200
Speaker 4: is this happening to me? And then later I realized,

474
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:47,440
Speaker 4: oh no, no, no, this was actually happening for me.

475
00:29:47,720 --> 00:29:50,800
Speaker 4: Like everything. I would encourage you, ladies to believe that

476
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:53,040
Speaker 4: everything is working out for your good, even if you

477
00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:54,719
Speaker 4: don't realize it right now. I know it can be

478
00:29:55,320 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 4: so tough to hear that, but I will say, you know,

479
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:00,960
Speaker 4: it's a open to my mid third. After all this

480
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:05,440
Speaker 4: life I only lived, and all these experiences that a

481
00:30:05,480 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 4: lot of the pain, a lot of the trials, and

482
00:30:08,040 --> 00:30:10,640
Speaker 4: the adversity it really did make me who I am,

483
00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 4: and I wouldn't. I wouldn't I wouldn't be able to

484
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 4: be who I am today if I didn't experience those things. Right, So, lady,

485
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:17,640
Speaker 4: trust the process of becoming your true self. It is

486
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,800
Speaker 4: worth it, and all the setbacks are part of a

487
00:30:20,880 --> 00:30:24,479
Speaker 4: learning process. So stay committed. You got this girl, Okay?

488
00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:28,280
Speaker 4: So don You said something about this next one earlier,

489
00:30:28,360 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 4: I think, and it's live in alignment with your core values.

490
00:30:31,360 --> 00:30:33,680
Speaker 4: You said something about core values, and so, lady, I

491
00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 4: think a good question to ask yourself right now in

492
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:38,240
Speaker 4: life is like, what are my core values?

493
00:30:38,320 --> 00:30:38,440
Speaker 2: Right?

494
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 4: What are the things of our value? Because when you

495
00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:43,760
Speaker 4: can ground yourself on core values, it allows you to

496
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:45,880
Speaker 4: make It allows you to let your yes be a

497
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,280
Speaker 4: yes and your no bia no right. If you get

498
00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 4: your core values as your foundational base, when some bullshit

499
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:56,440
Speaker 4: come up, you're like, don't align in alignment. We're not

500
00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:59,480
Speaker 4: doing that right. So identify and prioritize those values that

501
00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 4: are most important to you and ensure that your actions

502
00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,120
Speaker 4: and decisions reflect these principles. It's not always easy, but

503
00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 4: you got.

504
00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 2: This, yes, And lady, if you don't know what your

505
00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:17,080
Speaker 2: core values are, that's okay. There are assessments that you

506
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,960
Speaker 2: can find online, or you can if you have a therapist,

507
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,680
Speaker 2: you can ask your therapist, or if you have a coach,

508
00:31:23,720 --> 00:31:27,200
Speaker 2: you can or a pastor, like if you have someone

509
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:29,920
Speaker 2: who is helping you, guiding you through on a spiritual

510
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:33,880
Speaker 2: journey or through your wellness journey, they can help you

511
00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:40,120
Speaker 2: identify what your values are. Because if you don't know

512
00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:44,400
Speaker 2: what your values are, how do you know if the

513
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:48,400
Speaker 2: things that you're doing are in linement with what really

514
00:31:48,480 --> 00:31:51,840
Speaker 2: matters to you? And so take the time, if you

515
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 2: haven't already, to assess what are your core values?

516
00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 3: Lady, we know as black women how important it is

517
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:08,360
Speaker 3: to talk about our health, especially the things previous generations

518
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:12,920
Speaker 3: told us to keep quiet, like our vaginas. What are

519
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:16,360
Speaker 3: you doing to address your vaginal health besides visiting your gynecologist?

520
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 3: Did you know that your menstrual cycle, exercise, diet, stress,

521
00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:27,400
Speaker 3: and sex can disrupt or throw off your vaginal microbiome. No, well,

522
00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:31,520
Speaker 3: neither did I. That's why I started using seed Seed

523
00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:35,160
Speaker 3: VSO one is based on nearly twenty years of scientific

524
00:32:35,200 --> 00:32:40,600
Speaker 3: research and is a sustainable approach to addressing optimal vaginal

525
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:43,800
Speaker 3: pH The first month focuses on a reset to your

526
00:32:43,840 --> 00:32:48,800
Speaker 3: vaginal microbiome. Afterwards, you sustained with two tablets each month.

527
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 3: It's super simple to use. VSO one marks a new

528
00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:57,360
Speaker 3: era and vaginal care with a sustainable approach to address

529
00:32:57,400 --> 00:33:00,880
Speaker 3: the root cause of imbalances, and it's also the first

530
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:05,360
Speaker 3: clinically validated vaginal probiotic with three strains of the super

531
00:33:05,360 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 3: defender strain of bacteria called L. Crispatis dom and I

532
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,520
Speaker 3: like to test out the products that we endorse, and

533
00:33:12,560 --> 00:33:15,840
Speaker 3: Seed has been super easy to use. But aside from that,

534
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,560
Speaker 3: we also pay attention to what we put in our bodies.

535
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:20,840
Speaker 3: And what was appealing to us about Seed is that

536
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,720
Speaker 3: the development process included a multi step approach and collaboration

537
00:33:24,800 --> 00:33:29,480
Speaker 3: with leading scientists and researchers from around the world, culminating

538
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 3: and in depth testing and quality control checkpoints that monitor

539
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:37,280
Speaker 3: purity under both the US and European protocols.

540
00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 4: Shift from harsh.

541
00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 3: Reactive treatments to proactive, sustainable care with VS one from Seed.

542
00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,160
Speaker 3: Go to seed dot com, slash cultivating and use code

543
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,800
Speaker 3: twenty five cultivating to get twenty five percent off. That's

544
00:33:52,880 --> 00:33:56,880
Speaker 3: twenty five percent off VSO one at Seed dot com

545
00:33:56,920 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 3: slash Cultivating code twenty five cultivating do you have a

546
00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:06,960
Speaker 3: core value that truth and then go down. I'm trying

547
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 3: to give an example and think of one of my

548
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:12,000
Speaker 3: own that's like really strong, and I think of one

549
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 3: for the podcast, Lady. I'll share one now that Domini

550
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:18,040
Speaker 3: have for the podcast. And I would say that trying

551
00:34:18,040 --> 00:34:19,600
Speaker 3: to sum it up into one word, but I can't

552
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:20,800
Speaker 3: really think of a word at the moment, but I

553
00:34:20,840 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 3: will say I'm gonna say that. I'm going to say

554
00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:25,279
Speaker 3: this example, dom and then we think of a core

555
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,560
Speaker 3: value that it aligns with we could share. So, lady,

556
00:34:27,640 --> 00:34:29,600
Speaker 3: one of the things that you're probably aware of because

557
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 3: you probably hear them a lot on the podcast, or advertisements, right,

558
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:35,480
Speaker 3: because it costs money for us to run this podcast

559
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:38,359
Speaker 3: and pay our team, and so we have sponsors, right,

560
00:34:38,360 --> 00:34:41,480
Speaker 3: people to sponsor the podcast. And there have been times

561
00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 3: where there have been sponsors that have reached out to us,

562
00:34:44,800 --> 00:34:47,000
Speaker 3: what a bag And they've been like, hey, put this

563
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:49,040
Speaker 3: in front of your listeners, and we're like, we do

564
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:50,920
Speaker 3: our research, we may try it out, and we're just

565
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:52,160
Speaker 3: like no, like this is.

566
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,480
Speaker 4: Not a good fit all someone who's not good money. Yeah,

567
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:57,200
Speaker 4: And we are very particular about what we put in

568
00:34:57,200 --> 00:34:59,240
Speaker 4: front of you. And so when when you do hear sponsors,

569
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:03,399
Speaker 4: especially the ones that we endorsed with our voices, we

570
00:35:03,440 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 4: have tried them, we have tested them, and we are

571
00:35:05,719 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 4: comfortable enough with it for ourselves, so we share it

572
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:10,759
Speaker 4: with you. So I think that's a core value for us.

573
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:15,760
Speaker 4: It is like just honesty and transparency and just care

574
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:19,800
Speaker 4: right and like wellness for our audience. Yeah yeah, and

575
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,959
Speaker 4: like integrity and boom there we go. Yeah.

576
00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,160
Speaker 2: I think that one integrity is the one that sticks

577
00:35:26,160 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 2: out for me in terms of like how we how

578
00:35:28,360 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 2: we choose our sponsors. I think one a value of

579
00:35:34,280 --> 00:35:39,760
Speaker 2: mind is that I can think of readily is open.

580
00:35:39,880 --> 00:35:44,719
Speaker 2: So we all can be kind of let me speak

581
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:48,200
Speaker 2: for myself, okay, because this is my value. I have

582
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 2: things that I'm particular about, but I pride myself on

583
00:35:52,719 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 2: being open to new experiences and new people. And even

584
00:36:00,640 --> 00:36:05,879
Speaker 2: if I might be hesitant at first, I listen right

585
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:09,120
Speaker 2: to try and learn more. And so that's how I

586
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:14,399
Speaker 2: that's how I try to demonstrate openness, is that even

587
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:19,799
Speaker 2: if there's something that's like I don't know, I want

588
00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 2: to hear it out before I give an automatic note,

589
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:29,680
Speaker 2: because I know that for me, I can't grow if

590
00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:35,799
Speaker 2: I don't try new things, right, I can't learn if

591
00:36:35,840 --> 00:36:41,520
Speaker 2: I'm not willing to hear different perspectives.

592
00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:45,920
Speaker 4: And so even and sometimes for me.

593
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:54,359
Speaker 2: That there's it's the discernment around what's my intuition and

594
00:36:54,520 --> 00:37:01,000
Speaker 2: what's my like anxiety right about trying something new? And

595
00:37:01,120 --> 00:37:06,320
Speaker 2: so because I value openness, I try not to make

596
00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:10,560
Speaker 2: rush choices, rush decisions when something is presented to me,

597
00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 2: unless it's when something new is presented to me. Let

598
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:19,000
Speaker 2: me say that, when it's something new, I try to

599
00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:23,200
Speaker 2: really listen to, Okay, what is being presented to me?

600
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:28,760
Speaker 2: And how am I truly feeling? Is my body giving

601
00:37:28,760 --> 00:37:33,080
Speaker 2: me a yes? Or is my body like, oh, we

602
00:37:33,280 --> 00:37:36,560
Speaker 2: kind of hesitant and why are we hesitant? Are we

603
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 2: hesitant because it's tapping into something that we have a

604
00:37:39,320 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 2: fear about? Or is this my intuition saying this isn't

605
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:48,640
Speaker 2: a good decision? But generally I value being open.

606
00:37:50,640 --> 00:37:54,600
Speaker 4: That's a good one. Okay. Shall we move on to

607
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,120
Speaker 4: number six? Yes?

608
00:37:57,400 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 2: Okay, So speaking of intuition, number six is your inner

609
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:11,000
Speaker 2: voice is your best guide that intuition don't be failing.

610
00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 2: You got to learn of trust in, And so a

611
00:38:14,640 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 2: question to ask yourself, does your environment provide a safe

612
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:26,799
Speaker 2: space for your intuition to shine through? Or is it

613
00:38:26,880 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 2: too noisy? And I'm gonna say that again so that

614
00:38:31,680 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 2: you can really hear that question, and then I'll explain

615
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:41,760
Speaker 2: what that really means. Does your environment provide a safe

616
00:38:41,800 --> 00:38:45,560
Speaker 2: space for your intuition to shine through?

617
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:50,879
Speaker 4: Or is it too noisy? All right?

618
00:38:51,440 --> 00:38:53,640
Speaker 2: So you're like, all right, docter don what does that

619
00:38:53,719 --> 00:38:58,360
Speaker 2: really mean? What is too noisy? What a safe environment

620
00:38:58,360 --> 00:39:02,359
Speaker 2: to trust my intuition? What does that really look like? Well,

621
00:39:04,640 --> 00:39:13,600
Speaker 2: imagine you are trying to make a big decision right now.

622
00:39:14,680 --> 00:39:18,200
Speaker 4: Let's say the decision. Let me think of them.

623
00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 2: Okay, So let's say you are dating this new guy

624
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:33,200
Speaker 2: and you are telling all your friends about this guy.

625
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:39,800
Speaker 2: And as you're telling all your friends, everybody's throwing in

626
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:40,719
Speaker 2: their opinion.

627
00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:42,880
Speaker 4: Right now.

628
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:46,400
Speaker 2: We love our crew, I love them dearly. We wouldn't

629
00:39:46,520 --> 00:39:48,839
Speaker 2: we wouldn't go to them if we didn't trust what

630
00:39:48,880 --> 00:39:55,080
Speaker 2: they had to say. However, if you have ten different

631
00:39:55,120 --> 00:40:02,480
Speaker 2: people that you are soliciting feedback or advice from, your environment.

632
00:40:02,080 --> 00:40:04,160
Speaker 4: Is too noisy?

633
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:09,240
Speaker 2: You have now taken in the energy of ten people

634
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 2: and all of their stuff.

635
00:40:14,320 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 4: And all of that is now.

636
00:40:17,200 --> 00:40:23,000
Speaker 2: Influencing the decision you're making about dating this new guy.

637
00:40:24,120 --> 00:40:28,040
Speaker 2: And it's not to say that your crew doesn't know you,

638
00:40:29,120 --> 00:40:33,360
Speaker 2: but if you've got ten people in your ear offering

639
00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:38,480
Speaker 2: you advice on what you should do, you cannot hear

640
00:40:38,680 --> 00:40:44,319
Speaker 2: your own self because what they're saying, the chatter from

641
00:40:44,400 --> 00:40:51,919
Speaker 2: them is too loud. And so my recommendation would be

642
00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 2: keep your environment quiet. And again that's not to say

643
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:02,760
Speaker 2: that we can't solicit feedback and advice from our closest people,

644
00:41:03,960 --> 00:41:07,760
Speaker 2: but if you're not solid enough in your own inner voice,

645
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 2: don't go to other people, because now they're making decisions

646
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:15,000
Speaker 2: for you.

647
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:17,319
Speaker 4: You know what they say, Dom and I say, you

648
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,359
Speaker 4: know they be saying when you ask for advice, but

649
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:21,879
Speaker 4: you really know the answer. It's like you just ask

650
00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:26,640
Speaker 4: because you need validation. Yes, And I think and someone

651
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,000
Speaker 4: who has questioned themselves and who has not been in alignment,

652
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:32,600
Speaker 4: and who has questioned my intuition, what I've realized is

653
00:41:32,600 --> 00:41:35,440
Speaker 4: when you really get quiet and still like our body,

654
00:41:35,800 --> 00:41:38,239
Speaker 4: the universe, like God is talking to us. It's just

655
00:41:38,280 --> 00:41:41,520
Speaker 4: a matter of developing a habit of listening to our

656
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:45,440
Speaker 4: intuition by creating quiet moments for that reflection, for that

657
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:50,320
Speaker 4: meditation or journaling, right, so that we can build the relationship.

658
00:41:50,320 --> 00:41:52,719
Speaker 4: Because once you begin to create space for it, then

659
00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,359
Speaker 4: you'll know when you hear it. You'll know how God

660
00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 4: talks to you and speaks to you and the signs

661
00:41:57,719 --> 00:42:00,719
Speaker 4: and synchronicities and the things that come up. But it

662
00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 4: could be in physical, noisy environment. It could be like

663
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:06,640
Speaker 4: internal chaos, right, Like now you're taking care of your body,

664
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:09,520
Speaker 4: because your body might be yeah, yeah, Like you think

665
00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 4: about when I think about don when I was like

666
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:15,400
Speaker 4: really having struggles with my appetite because I had a

667
00:42:15,440 --> 00:42:18,160
Speaker 4: lot of anxiety and I wasn't eating well and my

668
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,120
Speaker 4: body was just I felt chaotic in my body, you know,

669
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,280
Speaker 4: and so it was it was noisy, if that makes sense.

670
00:42:23,640 --> 00:42:26,200
Speaker 4: So I think if we get still and quiet, trust

671
00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:29,600
Speaker 4: our instincts, and especially when we're making those important decisions,

672
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:32,520
Speaker 4: and we'll start to learn that that voice and what

673
00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 4: it sounds like, yes, okay.

674
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 2: That voice, that voice is so that voice is so important.

675
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,000
Speaker 2: And what I will say is that like when I

676
00:42:43,040 --> 00:42:45,280
Speaker 2: think back on it, when I was in my twenties,

677
00:42:47,400 --> 00:42:51,239
Speaker 2: I often knew the friends that I could go to

678
00:42:51,920 --> 00:42:55,000
Speaker 2: yes or the people not just not only friends, but

679
00:42:55,200 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 2: people that I could go to who were my yes

680
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:03,600
Speaker 2: people who would call time on the things that I

681
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:07,600
Speaker 2: was that I wanted to do, even if it went

682
00:43:07,719 --> 00:43:11,400
Speaker 2: against what my intuition was saying or right girl, And

683
00:43:11,560 --> 00:43:18,480
Speaker 2: oftentimes I would look to those yes people, huh, to

684
00:43:18,719 --> 00:43:24,440
Speaker 2: validate me going against my intuition. Yep. And I knew

685
00:43:24,960 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 2: that if I hadn't shared it, if it was something

686
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:31,000
Speaker 2: that I didn't initially share with certain people in my life,

687
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 2: that meant that I wasn't listening to my intuition and

688
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:38,880
Speaker 2: I wasn't sure about my decision.

689
00:43:39,480 --> 00:43:42,840
Speaker 4: Yes, girl, that's a whole word right there. Okay, we

690
00:43:42,840 --> 00:43:46,440
Speaker 4: could do a whole episode on that. That is over word. Yes,

691
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,279
Speaker 4: I remember those times, oh child, Okay, y'all, So we're

692
00:43:50,320 --> 00:43:53,719
Speaker 4: going to move on to number seven. Number seven is

693
00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,479
Speaker 4: very simple, short and sweet. So coming close, coming close.

694
00:43:57,520 --> 00:44:02,120
Speaker 4: You all missed this one. You are enough just as

695
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:06,319
Speaker 4: you are period and what I feel like all of

696
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:08,560
Speaker 4: these were like lessons that took me forever to really

697
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 4: learn dowm and like sit with and own, but I

698
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,160
Speaker 4: believe it today. And lady, if you are struggling with

699
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:16,840
Speaker 4: this one in particular, I would just say, think about

700
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,959
Speaker 4: how God sees you, Like, think about how your loved

701
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,920
Speaker 4: ones see you, right, think about the people who look

702
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,319
Speaker 4: up to you, how do they see you, because oftentimes

703
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 4: we're so much harder on ourselves than the people who

704
00:44:30,080 --> 00:44:32,560
Speaker 4: really love us are. Like I think about my grandmother

705
00:44:32,920 --> 00:44:34,560
Speaker 4: and how she used to view me. She thought I

706
00:44:34,680 --> 00:44:38,000
Speaker 4: was like God's, you know, the world's gift. That's like

707
00:44:38,120 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 4: she just thought I was the best things in sliced bread. Yeah,

708
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,400
Speaker 4: And so I think if you can think about the

709
00:44:42,440 --> 00:44:45,799
Speaker 4: people who love you and who appreciate you, that can

710
00:44:45,840 --> 00:44:47,839
Speaker 4: be the reminder. Or think about the people that you love.

711
00:44:47,880 --> 00:44:49,600
Speaker 4: If you have children, think about how you view your

712
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 4: children right, Like, you're so much child too, you are special.

713
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 4: And so I think practicing self acceptance by acknowledging your

714
00:44:56,640 --> 00:45:01,400
Speaker 4: strengths and embracing your imperfections and knowing that they make you unique,

715
00:45:01,560 --> 00:45:04,600
Speaker 4: is so important. And I think that that the sooner

716
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:08,640
Speaker 4: we can get this particular word of wisdom in our spirit,

717
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:12,000
Speaker 4: the sooner we can stop tolerating bullshit, Because once you

718
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,680
Speaker 4: know you're enough and you value yourself, you're just not

719
00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:18,240
Speaker 4: about to tolerate any old thing. Okay, any old man,

720
00:45:18,320 --> 00:45:21,560
Speaker 4: any old woman, any old person, any old job. Like

721
00:45:21,840 --> 00:45:24,080
Speaker 4: you have high standards because you value yourself. And so

722
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,879
Speaker 4: think about what would what would a dom that thinks

723
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,640
Speaker 4: she's enough to look and feel like? How would she

724
00:45:29,719 --> 00:45:31,359
Speaker 4: show up in the world? What would a terry that

725
00:45:31,920 --> 00:45:35,040
Speaker 4: thinks she's enough do like? How would she move about

726
00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:35,439
Speaker 4: in life?

727
00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:35,680
Speaker 2: Right?

728
00:45:35,719 --> 00:45:37,799
Speaker 4: Think about that and then even if you don't feel

729
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 4: that way today, start doing it as if you as

730
00:45:40,680 --> 00:45:44,280
Speaker 4: if you felt that way. Right? Does that makes sense? Yes? Yes,

731
00:45:44,280 --> 00:45:44,800
Speaker 4: that does.

732
00:45:44,920 --> 00:45:49,600
Speaker 2: And I think the thing is is recognizing that this

733
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:53,280
Speaker 2: that this particular word of wisdom ties into the others

734
00:45:53,400 --> 00:46:01,200
Speaker 2: right them. Knowing and trusting that you are enough also

735
00:46:01,320 --> 00:46:05,879
Speaker 2: requires trusting in your process. Knowing that you are enough

736
00:46:05,920 --> 00:46:09,959
Speaker 2: where you are right now, in this moment, yeah, right,

737
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:17,000
Speaker 2: and knowing that and believing that who you are now

738
00:46:18,200 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 2: is preparing you for who you were going to be

739
00:46:23,200 --> 00:46:25,239
Speaker 2: in the future and.

740
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:32,080
Speaker 4: Is progress from who you were yesterday. Come on, somebody,

741
00:46:32,200 --> 00:46:32,960
Speaker 4: you better preach.

742
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:38,840
Speaker 5: And so I feel like, yeah, just just sitting with

743
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:44,040
Speaker 5: and and making this particular word of wisdom something that

744
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 5: you say to yourself every.

745
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:53,439
Speaker 2: Day, Yes, I am enough who I am in this

746
00:46:53,719 --> 00:46:59,160
Speaker 2: very moment is exactly who I am supposed to be

747
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:04,320
Speaker 2: in this very moment, full stop period.

748
00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:07,640
Speaker 4: That's it, mic Drop, I don't even I don't even.

749
00:47:07,680 --> 00:47:11,600
Speaker 4: I nothe to say you did it. It's enough, that's it.

750
00:47:13,120 --> 00:47:17,440
Speaker 2: And so that takes us to number eight. And I

751
00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:21,600
Speaker 2: love this one because it speaks to like it speaks

752
00:47:21,640 --> 00:47:28,840
Speaker 2: to duality and new ones. Follow your heart, but take

753
00:47:28,920 --> 00:47:32,600
Speaker 2: your mind with you. So, lady, what does that mean?

754
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:35,520
Speaker 2: Follow your heart, but take your mind with you?

755
00:47:37,000 --> 00:47:37,279
Speaker 5: For me?

756
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:40,640
Speaker 2: When I hear that with that, what that really means

757
00:47:40,840 --> 00:47:48,120
Speaker 2: is recognizing that we have to use both. That if

758
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:51,160
Speaker 2: I only listen to my heart all of the time,

759
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:54,399
Speaker 2: probably would get taken advantage of a lot.

760
00:47:57,320 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 4: Yeah, I probably would have a lot more.

761
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:09,800
Speaker 2: Situations that cause me harm because my heart cares right,

762
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:16,760
Speaker 2: but my mind allows for the logic.

763
00:48:19,600 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 4: And recognizes.

764
00:48:23,000 --> 00:48:25,360
Speaker 2: I think the thing is is that my mind focuses

765
00:48:25,360 --> 00:48:28,400
Speaker 2: on the logic and the practical right. And if I

766
00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:32,000
Speaker 2: use that by itself, I probably would hurt a lot

767
00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:39,600
Speaker 2: of people, right, because it wouldn't take into consideration a

768
00:48:39,640 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 2: lot of the humanness that my heart takes into consideration, right.

769
00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:45,960
Speaker 4: And so.

770
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:54,520
Speaker 2: When I combine the two, it makes for much more

771
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:59,360
Speaker 2: compassionate wise decision making.

772
00:49:00,520 --> 00:49:03,400
Speaker 4: You can protect yourself as you're making decisions, because girl,

773
00:49:03,600 --> 00:49:06,360
Speaker 4: that's not the truth. You need both. Yeah, you got

774
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 4: to balance emotional intuition and rational thinking. Okay, that use

775
00:49:11,160 --> 00:49:15,800
Speaker 4: our critical thinking to evaluate essential consequences of whatever actions

776
00:49:15,800 --> 00:49:18,320
Speaker 4: we might take. And dom, I know this could relate

777
00:49:18,360 --> 00:49:20,880
Speaker 4: to various arenas of life, but to me, I just

778
00:49:20,880 --> 00:49:23,759
Speaker 4: thought about relationships automatically. And I'm like, y'all, y'all know

779
00:49:23,800 --> 00:49:26,319
Speaker 4: how it be when you don't feel and you all

780
00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 4: deep in it and your heart is just it's just open,

781
00:49:30,280 --> 00:49:34,120
Speaker 4: and then your mind might beyond using slice bread. Listen,

782
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:39,200
Speaker 4: your mind over here, your heart over here, you're getting

783
00:49:39,239 --> 00:49:41,480
Speaker 4: taken advantage of. You're like, why do I keep looking up?

784
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:43,839
Speaker 4: And I find myself in these situations? Babe, you gotta

785
00:49:43,840 --> 00:49:45,600
Speaker 4: take your heart. You gotta take your mind and your heart.

786
00:49:45,640 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 4: You gotta take both. Yes, And then when you start

787
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 4: to see inconsistencies, you guys start writing that shit down

788
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:53,000
Speaker 4: and be like, wait, I'm giving all this. My heart

789
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:57,200
Speaker 4: is on it. Hold up, the math ain't mathing, Okay.

790
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:05,520
Speaker 2: And don't confuse the sex with the heart. Don't confuse it.

791
00:50:06,760 --> 00:50:11,040
Speaker 2: Some feelings, dim, I know and and I want you

792
00:50:11,080 --> 00:50:11,839
Speaker 2: to I want you.

793
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:15,600
Speaker 4: To hear it. Mm hmmm. Don't confuse the sex with

794
00:50:15,680 --> 00:50:19,080
Speaker 4: the heart. Yeah, what else is there besides the sex.

795
00:50:20,560 --> 00:50:27,000
Speaker 2: Right, because it's all Let's be honest. Yes, that's all

796
00:50:27,080 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 2: we need, that's all we want. But know that that's

797
00:50:30,080 --> 00:50:36,239
Speaker 2: what it is exactly. Let's not get it confused. If

798
00:50:36,239 --> 00:50:39,839
Speaker 2: they over there only offering you sex, they heart not

799
00:50:39,840 --> 00:50:40,480
Speaker 2: coming with it.

800
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 4: Let's not do it. Don't get it. Let's be clear.

801
00:50:45,320 --> 00:50:49,120
Speaker 4: Let's be clear. All right, are we clear? You'll clear.

802
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:52,640
Speaker 2: Revisit the conversation if you if your heart gets if

803
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:56,080
Speaker 2: your heart gets caught up in it, revisit, revisit the

804
00:50:56,160 --> 00:50:57,640
Speaker 2: terms of agreement, just.

805
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:01,560
Speaker 4: Say, oh, we don't have to do a little follow

806
00:51:01,640 --> 00:51:03,880
Speaker 4: up episode on that one, all right, y'all. So we

807
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:08,360
Speaker 4: are on number nine and number nine is fine. Joy

808
00:51:08,640 --> 00:51:15,280
Speaker 4: in your journey not just the destination, oh child, the journey,

809
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,560
Speaker 4: the answers and the journey. And it's really all about

810
00:51:17,600 --> 00:51:19,320
Speaker 4: the journey for real, for real. I mean the destination

811
00:51:19,440 --> 00:51:22,239
Speaker 4: is cute, it's cool, but like, if we focus on

812
00:51:22,280 --> 00:51:25,919
Speaker 4: the present moment, appreciate the experiences, the lessons, the relationships

813
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 4: and all that along the way, rather than fixating on

814
00:51:29,320 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 4: the goal, because oftentimes once we get to the goal,

815
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:34,120
Speaker 4: it's like there's a moment of celebration and then we're

816
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,839
Speaker 4: on to the next goal. So you miss you miss

817
00:51:36,920 --> 00:51:39,560
Speaker 4: everything if you don't remember the journey. You know, like

818
00:51:39,600 --> 00:51:44,120
Speaker 4: I think about college graduation was great, but it was

819
00:51:44,160 --> 00:51:46,600
Speaker 4: all about the memories and the growth over the course

820
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 4: of the the you know, the collegiate journey. Like it

821
00:51:50,560 --> 00:51:54,680
Speaker 4: was all about the friendships, the parties, the fun, the lessons,

822
00:51:54,840 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 4: all the things like cultivate gratitude and mindfulness, finding the

823
00:51:58,800 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 4: small leisures and the victories that you have right like,

824
00:52:02,840 --> 00:52:05,719
Speaker 4: find the yeah, find the good in the journey. It's

825
00:52:05,760 --> 00:52:08,160
Speaker 4: all about the journey. It truly is.

826
00:52:08,200 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 2: And as you said that, as you thought, as you

827
00:52:09,960 --> 00:52:13,279
Speaker 2: mentioned like college graduation, like I thought about like it

828
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:18,279
Speaker 2: made me call, like recall my college graduation and then

829
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,279
Speaker 2: the all the other graduations that I've experienced in my

830
00:52:22,440 --> 00:52:26,840
Speaker 2: educational journey. And I can think of each of those

831
00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:34,840
Speaker 2: singular events. But oftentimes when people ask me about different

832
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:39,080
Speaker 2: parts of my educational journey, it's not the graduation ceremonies

833
00:52:39,520 --> 00:52:44,520
Speaker 2: that at r It's not that moment. It's all of

834
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:49,839
Speaker 2: the things that happened along the way, right, and the

835
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:54,320
Speaker 2: friends and relationships that came along with that, Like it

836
00:52:54,960 --> 00:52:56,840
Speaker 2: truly is about the journey.

837
00:52:57,480 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, and there's so.

838
00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:07,680
Speaker 2: Much joy in those journeys. Shout out to my grad

839
00:53:07,719 --> 00:53:13,839
Speaker 2: school crew, my undergrad crew, high school and middle school crew,

840
00:53:13,920 --> 00:53:15,879
Speaker 2: Like these are people, Like there are people in each

841
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,239
Speaker 2: of those various stations of my life that I am

842
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:24,800
Speaker 2: still very much connected with, and they are integral parts

843
00:53:25,719 --> 00:53:26,760
Speaker 2: of that journey.

844
00:53:26,800 --> 00:53:31,279
Speaker 4: They are part of that joy in the journey. I

845
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 4: love that, yeay, And so yeah, that takes us to

846
00:53:36,640 --> 00:53:37,200
Speaker 4: number ten.

847
00:53:39,440 --> 00:53:45,319
Speaker 2: You owe it to yourself to become everything you've ever

848
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 2: dreamed of being.

849
00:53:47,239 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 4: I feel like I gotta run that one back.

850
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:50,759
Speaker 2: I mean, I know we keep doing it, but like, yeah,

851
00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,760
Speaker 2: it's just that's why these are words of wisdom.

852
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:54,640
Speaker 4: I'm gonna run back.

853
00:53:54,960 --> 00:54:02,760
Speaker 2: Yes, lady, you owe it to yourself to become everything

854
00:54:04,080 --> 00:54:08,480
Speaker 2: you've ever dreamed of being. So whatever that thing is,

855
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:14,000
Speaker 2: write it down and figure out what it's going to

856
00:54:14,120 --> 00:54:19,719
Speaker 2: take for you to make it happen. You want those

857
00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 2: four point five kids, Well, I don't know about that

858
00:54:22,880 --> 00:54:23,439
Speaker 2: point five.

859
00:54:23,520 --> 00:54:25,239
Speaker 4: I don't know how that I don't know how that

860
00:54:25,320 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 4: math maths. But you want the kids.

861
00:54:30,800 --> 00:54:35,960
Speaker 2: Figure out how you will have those kids recognizing that

862
00:54:37,880 --> 00:54:40,800
Speaker 2: part of the journey and part of trusting the process

863
00:54:41,440 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 2: is that it may not look how you initially enviitioned it,

864
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:50,799
Speaker 2: but that dream can still come true, and you are

865
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:55,440
Speaker 2: worthy having that dream come true.

866
00:54:55,800 --> 00:54:59,359
Speaker 4: I loved this one, and there's just a quote that

867
00:54:59,560 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 4: I forgot the author of the quote, but it's a

868
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 4: powerful quote and I think it connects so well with

869
00:55:04,320 --> 00:55:07,200
Speaker 4: this word of wisdom. And the quote is the creator

870
00:55:07,200 --> 00:55:09,839
Speaker 4: did not give you a longing to do that which

871
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,520
Speaker 4: you have no ability to do. So if you have

872
00:55:12,760 --> 00:55:14,839
Speaker 4: that dream and you think about it every night before

873
00:55:14,840 --> 00:55:17,080
Speaker 4: you go to sleep, you're thinking about it every morning

874
00:55:17,080 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 4: when you wake up, you're thinking about it at your

875
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:20,319
Speaker 4: day job, and you're like, I wish I could believe

876
00:55:20,320 --> 00:55:23,560
Speaker 4: be doing that boom. You have the dream for a reason,

877
00:55:23,600 --> 00:55:26,400
Speaker 4: So create a plan. Go, you know, link up with

878
00:55:26,440 --> 00:55:28,399
Speaker 4: the community that's already doing what you want to do.

879
00:55:28,480 --> 00:55:31,560
Speaker 4: Go find a mentor read the books, find the podcast,

880
00:55:31,600 --> 00:55:33,960
Speaker 4: whatever it might be, because it's coming up for you

881
00:55:34,000 --> 00:55:36,760
Speaker 4: for a reason. Whether you want to start a business

882
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:40,759
Speaker 4: or a baking company, I mean product services, whatever it

883
00:55:40,800 --> 00:55:43,560
Speaker 4: might be, go do that thing because the thing that

884
00:55:43,600 --> 00:55:45,200
Speaker 4: we don't want to happen is we don't want you

885
00:55:45,239 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 4: to be at the point when you're at the end

886
00:55:47,200 --> 00:55:49,680
Speaker 4: of your life looking back and you're like, damn, I

887
00:55:49,760 --> 00:55:52,719
Speaker 4: really wish that I would have taken the leap and

888
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:55,120
Speaker 4: I would have just tried it, because that's the thing

889
00:55:55,120 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 4: that people often think about right at the end. It's

890
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,359
Speaker 4: like I wish I could have done didn't do the

891
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:04,000
Speaker 4: things you didn't do. Boom. All right, y'all, we're on

892
00:56:04,120 --> 00:56:06,680
Speaker 4: to number eleven, and I don't know if we're gonna

893
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:09,200
Speaker 4: read all these after down for the recap or if

894
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:10,600
Speaker 4: we're gonna put them in the show notes, but I'll

895
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:13,520
Speaker 4: read this one because it's number eleven and this is

896
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:17,800
Speaker 4: a powerful one. Okay, y'all, get right. Your true self

897
00:56:18,360 --> 00:56:23,000
Speaker 4: is worth fighting for. Okay, sometimes you got to fight

898
00:56:23,040 --> 00:56:26,680
Speaker 4: for some shit and it may not be easy. Ooh, period,

899
00:56:26,880 --> 00:56:29,960
Speaker 4: that's a word like seriously. I mean now, I think

900
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:32,839
Speaker 4: about words, I think about my own journey. I think

901
00:56:32,840 --> 00:56:35,280
Speaker 4: about other people that I know, people who have lived

902
00:56:35,840 --> 00:56:41,000
Speaker 4: either a a minimized life right like where you're only

903
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 4: showing like a little bit of your true self means

904
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,000
Speaker 4: you may not feel safe in the environment you may

905
00:56:46,040 --> 00:56:48,560
Speaker 4: not feel like you have permission to be your true self.

906
00:56:48,600 --> 00:56:50,920
Speaker 4: You may not feel like it's the right time for

907
00:56:50,960 --> 00:56:53,680
Speaker 4: you to just be your true self, But your true

908
00:56:53,760 --> 00:56:56,160
Speaker 4: self is really worth fighting for. Like you and all

909
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 4: of your uniqueness, You're here for a reason, on this

910
00:56:59,320 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 4: earth for a reason, and you're supposed to be your

911
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:03,399
Speaker 4: true self for a reason, because we never know who

912
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 4: we're supposed to liberate and help with our story from

913
00:57:06,760 --> 00:57:09,400
Speaker 4: us just being our authentic self, just showing up with

914
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:13,480
Speaker 4: our beautiful blackness, just being here right Like that's supposed

915
00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:15,720
Speaker 4: to do something in the world and it's very unique

916
00:57:15,719 --> 00:57:18,400
Speaker 4: and special, and so it's really important. Like if you

917
00:57:18,400 --> 00:57:20,480
Speaker 4: feel like you're not living in alignment with who you

918
00:57:20,520 --> 00:57:23,240
Speaker 4: are and what you want, try to understand, like what

919
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 4: do I need to do so I can get to

920
00:57:24,920 --> 00:57:26,720
Speaker 4: that place, Because it really is important for us to

921
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:30,080
Speaker 4: live authentically. We can be free, so our body can

922
00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:33,040
Speaker 4: just feel like it's light and it's flowing and it's

923
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:37,040
Speaker 4: not heavy and chaotic. So, lady, you deserve to fight

924
00:57:37,120 --> 00:57:38,680
Speaker 4: for you and your true self.

925
00:57:39,880 --> 00:57:42,960
Speaker 2: What I will add to that is, as you mentioned

926
00:57:43,000 --> 00:57:48,920
Speaker 2: that chaos, your body will continue to fight you until

927
00:57:49,080 --> 00:57:54,760
Speaker 2: you give it its freedom. Your body will fight you. Your

928
00:57:54,640 --> 00:57:59,360
Speaker 2: body will continue to show you signs that does saint it,

929
00:57:59,400 --> 00:58:07,600
Speaker 2: boot that whatever. So whatever it is that you are denying,

930
00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:14,680
Speaker 2: stop denying it, because your body will continue to let

931
00:58:14,720 --> 00:58:19,720
Speaker 2: you know that this ain't it. And when your body

932
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:25,600
Speaker 2: is at peace, it's because you are living in your truth. Yes,

933
00:58:27,720 --> 00:58:31,880
Speaker 2: I can't think of how many times I have sat

934
00:58:31,960 --> 00:58:40,080
Speaker 2: with clients who have struggled to share something with the

935
00:58:40,120 --> 00:58:40,840
Speaker 2: people that.

936
00:58:40,720 --> 00:58:42,960
Speaker 4: They love and.

937
00:58:44,880 --> 00:58:51,920
Speaker 2: Much it is eating at them because they can't. And

938
00:58:51,960 --> 00:58:54,360
Speaker 2: so it'll show up when you show up in therapy

939
00:58:54,400 --> 00:58:59,440
Speaker 2: and something is manifesting within you as anxiety, well, and

940
00:58:59,480 --> 00:59:04,920
Speaker 2: you're like feeling recked with a decision, Well, until you

941
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:07,480
Speaker 2: speak up and say something, you are going to continue

942
00:59:07,520 --> 00:59:10,280
Speaker 2: to sit with that. And what I often tell my

943
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:14,160
Speaker 2: clients is as your therapist, I will continue to sit

944
00:59:14,240 --> 00:59:19,960
Speaker 2: with you in it, and I can help you come

945
00:59:20,040 --> 00:59:26,160
Speaker 2: up with a strategy for how you're going to say

946
00:59:26,200 --> 00:59:29,240
Speaker 2: it to the people that need to hear it. But

947
00:59:29,520 --> 00:59:33,440
Speaker 2: know that until you get it out, you are going

948
00:59:33,520 --> 00:59:38,120
Speaker 2: to continue to struggle internally. Your truth is struggling, is

949
00:59:38,160 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 2: fighting literally fighting you to be released.

950
00:59:42,480 --> 00:59:44,520
Speaker 4: And I can guarantee you.

951
00:59:46,320 --> 00:59:53,640
Speaker 2: That every single time that person has revealed their truth,

952
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:57,480
Speaker 2: whatever that truth might be. Right, Like, you know, I

953
00:59:57,520 --> 01:00:01,560
Speaker 2: work with college, mostly with college students, and yeah, so

954
01:00:03,320 --> 01:00:05,960
Speaker 2: for sometimes I've seen it where they struggle to tell

955
01:00:06,000 --> 01:00:08,200
Speaker 2: their parents that they want a different major because their

956
01:00:08,240 --> 01:00:10,600
Speaker 2: parents have insisted that this is what you need to

957
01:00:10,640 --> 01:00:14,800
Speaker 2: focus on in school. Yeah, and they've struggled with telling

958
01:00:14,840 --> 01:00:17,960
Speaker 2: their parents they want to they're pursuing a different major.

959
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:25,320
Speaker 2: And the relief that they feel once they tell their parents,

960
01:00:25,720 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 2: no matter what the reaction is from their parents, right,

961
01:00:29,560 --> 01:00:32,680
Speaker 2: the relief that they feel in their bodies once they

962
01:00:32,680 --> 01:00:37,120
Speaker 2: have told their truth. All the evidence I need to

963
01:00:37,280 --> 01:00:44,120
Speaker 2: know that our bodies will fight, yeah for us to

964
01:00:44,240 --> 01:00:45,440
Speaker 2: reveal our truths.

965
01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:49,640
Speaker 4: Oh my goodness. Okay, lady, we just covered a lot. Lady.

966
01:00:49,640 --> 01:00:51,480
Speaker 4: We hope you enjoyed this episode, and we do want

967
01:00:51,520 --> 01:00:55,080
Speaker 4: to say if you enjoyed this conversation, you really need

968
01:00:55,120 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 4: to check out our patrel lady, because we have an

969
01:00:57,000 --> 01:01:02,480
Speaker 4: archive of Weekly Wisdom Wednesday post on the Patreon and

970
01:01:02,680 --> 01:01:05,320
Speaker 4: you can visit our patreon at her Space podcast dot com.

971
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:08,160
Speaker 4: Click on Patreon and become a subscriber and you can

972
01:01:08,160 --> 01:01:10,600
Speaker 4: tune into that. Not only do you get that access

973
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:13,400
Speaker 4: to exclusive content, but you also get to support this

974
01:01:13,680 --> 01:01:16,040
Speaker 4: black owned business by these two black women you've been

975
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:19,160
Speaker 4: listening to, so come support us. Lady, Yeah, we appreciate you,

976
01:01:19,200 --> 01:01:20,680
Speaker 4: and I guess we should do a recap dob.

977
01:01:21,400 --> 01:01:24,680
Speaker 2: Yes, let's let's run them, Let's run them back.

978
01:01:24,760 --> 01:01:26,760
Speaker 4: Okay, all right.

979
01:01:27,120 --> 01:01:32,120
Speaker 2: Number one, Everyone is running a program based on their

980
01:01:32,160 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 2: beliefs and feelings. Don't take things personally. Don't let compliments

981
01:01:38,600 --> 01:01:42,000
Speaker 2: lift you too high or criticism bring you too loan.

982
01:01:43,440 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 4: Number two. We excited y'all were ready to go. Number two.

983
01:01:48,200 --> 01:01:51,160
Speaker 4: Authenticity is the daily practice of letting go of who

984
01:01:51,240 --> 01:01:54,640
Speaker 4: you think we're supposed to be and embracing who we are.

985
01:01:56,560 --> 01:02:02,439
Speaker 2: Number three. Your value doesn't decrease based on someone's inability

986
01:02:02,520 --> 01:02:03,600
Speaker 2: to see your worth.

987
01:02:04,680 --> 01:02:08,960
Speaker 4: Number four. Trust in the process of becoming your true self.

988
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:14,760
Speaker 2: Number five. Live in alignment with your core values.

989
01:02:15,600 --> 01:02:21,920
Speaker 4: Number six. Your inner voice is your best guide. Number seven.

990
01:02:22,520 --> 01:02:28,080
Speaker 4: You are enough just as you are. Number eight. Follow

991
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,040
Speaker 4: your hearts, but take your mind with you.

992
01:02:31,760 --> 01:02:37,400
Speaker 2: Number nine. Find joy in your journey, not just the destination.

993
01:02:38,680 --> 01:02:41,200
Speaker 4: And number ten you owe it to yourself to become

994
01:02:41,280 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 4: everything you've ever dreamed of being.

995
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:50,760
Speaker 2: And number eleven, your true self is worth fighting for.

996
01:02:51,680 --> 01:02:52,400
Speaker 4: All right, lady.

997
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:53,200
Speaker 1: Thank you for tuning in.

998
01:02:53,240 --> 01:02:55,720
Speaker 4: We're gonna catch you in the after show on Patreon.

999
01:02:58,240 --> 01:03:02,440
Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us today. Please note that our show

1000
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:08,400
Speaker 2: may contain conversations about self help, advice, self empowerment, and

1001
01:03:08,520 --> 01:03:11,640
Speaker 2: mental health, but is by no means meant to be

1002
01:03:11,680 --> 01:03:16,000
Speaker 2: a substitute for an ongoing formal relationship with a trained

1003
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:20,080
Speaker 2: mental health provider. If you are someone you know is

1004
01:03:20,080 --> 01:03:23,440
Speaker 2: in need of mental health care, please visit a Therapy

1005
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:29,400
Speaker 2: for Black Girls directory Psychology today or contact your insurance provider.

1006
01:03:29,760 --> 01:03:31,400
Speaker 4: If you like what you heard and want to keep

1007
01:03:31,400 --> 01:03:35,120
Speaker 4: the conversation going, visit our website at herspace podcast dot

1008
01:03:35,160 --> 01:03:37,680
Speaker 4: com and be sure to click the Patreon link to

1009
01:03:37,720 --> 01:03:40,680
Speaker 4: get access to video content, bonuses, and.

1010
01:03:40,640 --> 01:03:44,480
Speaker 3: Our weekly after show. And before we meet again, repeat

1011
01:03:44,520 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 3: after me. My energy is a gift. I choose to

1012
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:52,280
Speaker 3: share it wisely and leave a positive imprint on the world.