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Speaker 1: Hey, this is jonnas is Sam your og Okay storytime

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Speaker 1: podcast hosts.

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Speaker 2: We have some great stories coming up, but.

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Speaker 1: Before that, we have a quick two minute break from

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Speaker 1: the sponsors that keep the show alive. I wanted my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend to come home early, but he never got the hint.

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Speaker 3: Maybe just tell the man.

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Speaker 1: Maybe My thirty nine female boyfriend forty two, let's call

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Speaker 1: him Allan is the sweetest person I know, and he

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Speaker 1: takes care of us and our home because now I

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Speaker 1: am the primary and income earner as he is back studying,

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Speaker 1: and we live in a house that was from my grandma,

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Speaker 1: so we don't pay any rent. Let's go a free house.

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Speaker 1: He worked some weekends for me as I am an entrepreneur,

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Speaker 1: and he does most of the house chores and is

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Speaker 1: also helping make a lot of the improvements of the house,

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Speaker 1: which was in a poor condition. He changed the kitchen

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Speaker 1: and the bath, but I paid for the materials. We

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Speaker 1: are okay with our agreement, and he is also doing

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Speaker 1: great in his studies, getting an A plus on everything

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Speaker 1: four point zero. Husband, that's pretty good. We like that

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Speaker 1: perfect score. By the way, this comes from sumriy Salad.

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Speaker 1: And if he wants some your own stories. Go to

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Speaker 1: the r slash Okay Storytime subrenden. So the thing is,

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Speaker 1: this week I have been struggling a lot. One of

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Speaker 1: my employees had a work accident and I had to

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Speaker 1: deal with insurance and all the paperwork. I have a

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Speaker 1: colonoscopy next week, oh man, because I have blood on

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Speaker 1: my dodo. That's not fun. And some other minor stuff

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Speaker 1: like leaving my car keys inside my car without spare keys.

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Speaker 1: It's a that's a tough week, Carley, I'm on top

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Speaker 1: of all of us. Yesterday I left him at school

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Speaker 1: and went to see my great aunt who had some

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Speaker 1: kind of dementia and my mom, who told me she

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Speaker 1: was very sick, refusing to eat, incapable of speaking. I

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Speaker 1: went there and she was very bad, and their children,

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Speaker 1: a little older than me, around mid forties, were told

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Speaker 1: to sedate her because she was passing away. Oh man, wow,

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Speaker 1: this is just getting crazier. So I spent the afternoon

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Speaker 1: with them at the clinic, waiting for the doctors to

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Speaker 1: proceed and trying it to be supportive and all that.

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Speaker 1: The thing is, I came back home and Alan, who

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Speaker 1: had his last exam, had gone with his classmate to celebrate.

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Speaker 1: He had been with them for like four hours since

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Speaker 1: five thirty pm. I called him at nine thirty pm

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Speaker 1: as soon as I came home, and I told him

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Speaker 1: I was sad and tired and I was going to

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Speaker 1: do a little paperwork and sleep. Three hours later, he

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Speaker 1: still wasn't home yet. I called him to know if

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Speaker 1: he was okay. I was worried because the last time

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Speaker 1: I came home early and he stayed out for some drinks,

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Speaker 1: some random guys walked over to him and hit him.

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Speaker 1: They didn't do a lot, just you know, the good

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Speaker 1: old one two diddly do, but trying to defend himself,

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Speaker 1: Alan hurt his knee that had previous injuries. And we

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Speaker 1: know this could happen sometimes. So that night I woke

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Speaker 1: up to him crying and had to take him to

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Speaker 1: the er. And now he is waiting for an operation

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Speaker 1: to replace his ligament.

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Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

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Speaker 1: Wow. Oh okay, so his he did get weak in

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Speaker 1: the knees, ok. And we have a free healthcare system,

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Speaker 1: so it's okay for him to not be working and

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Speaker 1: get health assistant. So at least that's good. And I

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Speaker 1: am a little bit traumatized from that because it happened

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Speaker 1: close to our house. In the second call, he asked

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Speaker 1: me how I was, and I told him bad. I

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Speaker 1: am sad and worried. Please be sure you don't come alone.

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Speaker 1: It was around midnight. I tried to sleep but couldn't,

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Speaker 1: and at three am I texted him to ask him

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Speaker 1: if he was okay and that I was worried, and

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Speaker 1: he texted me back, I am okay. I'm talking to Ron.

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Speaker 1: I'm coming soon. We are in Ron safe and capable.

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Speaker 1: So Ron is a classmate who is older than him,

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Speaker 1: and they got along really well. Ron lives next to us. Also,

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Speaker 1: he came home like an hour and a half after

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Speaker 1: that message four thirty am, so at like six am

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Speaker 1: in the morning, and he was wasted as f not

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Speaker 1: to puke or crap himself up, but he was not

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Speaker 1: somebody who could comfort and cuddle me. I was sad

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Speaker 1: because I felt I needed my partner, and the partner

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Speaker 1: that I needed was not there. Even one of my

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Speaker 1: first calls, I warned him, if you are wasted, try

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Speaker 1: to get some air before coming home, because I was

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Speaker 1: not in the mood to deal with somebody's wastedness. So

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Speaker 1: after he came home, I was sad, and I told

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Speaker 1: him I was expecting him to come home early, and

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Speaker 1: that is as much as I get. He was finishing

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Speaker 1: his finals and wants to celebrate. I feel was being

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Speaker 1: clear enough about not being well. If it was the

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Speaker 1: opposite scenario, akam doing what he did, and I couldn't

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Speaker 1: have handled drinking with my friends knowing he was alone

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Speaker 1: and sat at home. He cried and we talked about

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Speaker 1: how I was also worried after that time when they

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Speaker 1: hit him, and he also had some kind of mental

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Speaker 1: breakdown around that, trembling and crying and repeating I did

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Speaker 1: no wrong to nobody. I ended up comforting him and

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Speaker 1: he slept again wasted. I took some time sipping tea

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Speaker 1: as I was nervous, and I finally could fall asleep

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Speaker 1: when we woke up because it was a long night.

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Speaker 1: We talked and he said he was sorry, but he

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Speaker 1: said if I wanted him to come, I should have

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Speaker 1: just said so. I told him I was clear about

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Speaker 1: not being well and wanting him home, but I was

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Speaker 1: not his mom and to tell him come back home,

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Speaker 1: and that he must be the one to get the

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Speaker 1: info and make decisions with it. He is not mad

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Speaker 1: at me, and regrets his behavior but told me to

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Speaker 1: tell him clearly what I want him to do, and

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Speaker 1: I feel I was clear enough. So am I the

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Speaker 1: A hole? We have an edit coming up. There's a

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Speaker 1: lot more to this story, but Carly, Yes, we need

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Speaker 1: to talk. We need to chat like this couple should have. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I am feeling right now that maybe there is kind

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Speaker 1: of something on both sides where it's like, I mean,

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Speaker 1: I think I think the husband is more the a hole,

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Speaker 1: for like, I think he very clearly knew that like

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Speaker 1: going out and drinking and like getting into a kerfuffle

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Speaker 1: with really and would really have said his wife. I

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Speaker 1: don't think he checked in enough to like make sure

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Speaker 1: she was good and all this. But yeah, I do

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Speaker 1: think it is a good point where it's like hey,

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Speaker 1: like not even like tell me exactly what to do,

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Speaker 1: which is what I think he's saying, but more like hey,

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Speaker 1: like I'm out celebrating, like like, I guess break it

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Speaker 1: down for me. Why like kind of like what you

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Speaker 1: said earlier.

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Speaker 4: Right, why are you sad?

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Speaker 1: Or why are you sad?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm with you on that. They just needed to

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Speaker 3: talk more. It needed to be like I'll check in

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Speaker 3: this amount of time I'll ask you why you're sad.

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Speaker 3: If I can tell that you're still really, really sad

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Speaker 3: and worried, maybe I'll come home at a normal time

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Speaker 3: and not four thirty in the morning.

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Speaker 1: Six am in the morning.

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Speaker 3: Six am. Right, the last text was four thirty, so

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Speaker 3: then you're also coming home two hours after your last

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Speaker 3: check in. I'm walking.

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Speaker 1: I'm okay, Yeah, I'm with Ron. I'm with Ron, his

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Speaker 1: saddest for like, yo, everything is good as I'm with Ron.

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Speaker 4: I hope she knows Ron.

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Speaker 1: Yea. So we have an edit. Let's get into it. Uh,

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Speaker 1: this celebration was not something expected or planned because they

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Speaker 1: have a party, dinner next Friday. Okay, here, I think

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Speaker 1: we're getting into texts. Okay to five nineteen five nineteen pm, boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: I'm leaving. Let's go to the Buddha me so early.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to stay here. They're going to sedate my aunt.

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Speaker 1: Oh I forgot this was like as her aunt was

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Speaker 1: going under.

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Speaker 3: I was assuming that he didn't know that this had

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Speaker 3: happened either.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I was giving him so much leeway.

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Speaker 1: For that, and the fact that he didn't immediately call

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Speaker 1: and be like, oh my god, are you okay? Stay home, like, yeah, God, boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: I took three exams. Cheer up, my love. Your aunt

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Speaker 1: is so literally knocking on God's door and you're like,

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Speaker 1: I took three exams, just like, cheer up or whatever.

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Speaker 1: Get over it. Just like today you're fine? Oh God, okay, boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: These texts are very revealing. Op Oh in an hour

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Speaker 1: and thirty boyfriend, Yes, emoji, they're sedating my aunt in

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Speaker 1: an hour or so, I'll see you at home. Directly,

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Speaker 1: boyfriend says, okay, has your how is your family? And

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Speaker 1: then following up a little later, we're still here. God.

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Speaker 1: He's like, he's like, yo, just like double tapping this.

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Speaker 1: Did you get this? It's like, dude, my all hunt

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Speaker 1: is twenty? You want from me? Dog bro Opie says, hello, Yes,

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Speaker 1: everyone is here except my father, not even my grandmother.

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Speaker 1: They sedated her, but it doesn't look like she's going

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Speaker 1: to pass away today. Who boyfriend?

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Speaker 2: Dang?

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Speaker 1: What a mass? End it right now? And it right now? Okay, boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: we're here location link Uh the kids from class have come.

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Speaker 1: Opie says, I'm home now. If he doesn't answer, I'll

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Speaker 1: call him. Told him I'm not well and sad. Opie

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Speaker 1: says my love, how are you? Is everything okay? As

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Speaker 1: he doesn't answer, I call him again. I told him

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Speaker 1: I'm not well and to be back home with someone.

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Speaker 1: This is much later. Hi, I'm worried about you. I

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Speaker 1: hope you don't take too long to come home. Boyfriend,

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Speaker 1: I'm going I was chatting with ron OPI says, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I mean have some relevant comments. So comments number one says,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I feel for you and deaf. You went

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Speaker 1: through a lot, But it kind of sounds like you

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Speaker 1: expected him to read between the lines. Yes, he's your

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Speaker 1: partner and should be supportive, but if you wanted him home,

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Speaker 1: why not just say can you please come home now?

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Speaker 1: He's not a mind reader. Also, he shouldn't have gotten wasted.

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Speaker 1: But at the same time, you, you too, need to

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Speaker 1: work on clear communication. I'll just say really quick to that, like,

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Speaker 1: could OPI have been clear? Yes? But like I think

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Speaker 1: boyfriend is dropping the ball in so many areas and

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Speaker 1: it's just like feels pretty evident from the text that he,

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Speaker 1: at least in this situation, he's not caring to like

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Speaker 1: check in or like is like empathetic to what she's

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Speaker 1: going through? And uh yeah, Opie says, Hi, thanks for

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Speaker 1: your point of view. My last message was Hi, I'm

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Speaker 1: worried about you. I hope you don't take too long

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Speaker 1: to come home. That was the one he answered, saying

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Speaker 1: he's talking iron, et cetera. He came home more than

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Speaker 1: an hour and a half later. I don't know how

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Speaker 1: to be clear without being bossy, and I don't want

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Speaker 1: him to be quote unquote following instructions but deciding what

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Speaker 1: to do. They replied, that is not communicating with him

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Speaker 1: to come home. Because you are feeling emotionally vulnerable. You

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Speaker 1: need to be clear. This guy finished an exam, and

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Speaker 1: what to celebrate. That is the norm. What you've experienced

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Speaker 1: is highly emotionally exhausting. It's on you to communicate how

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Speaker 1: crapp your day has gone, and it sounds like you haven't.

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Speaker 3: Again, they said it right there, though, she just went

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Speaker 3: through a highly emotionally exhausting day, and you're telling her

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Speaker 3: that she needs to do better.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I think like, like, yes, can she improve? Like

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Speaker 1: we can all improve our communication? Right, But like I

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Speaker 1: think this commenter is just totally missing the point of Like,

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Speaker 1: dude just like doesn't care. Yeah, Like he's just not

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Speaker 1: caring at all. So it's like, I mean, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: where's the relate We haven't talked, they haven't mentioned this,

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Speaker 1: but like where's the relationship kind of or how is

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Speaker 1: this going to be reconciled within the relationship? Yeah, I

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Speaker 1: should say like this this needs a serious like sit

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Speaker 1: down and.

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Speaker 4: Me a long talk.

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Speaker 1: That is a long talk. Commentary number two says I

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Speaker 1: told him I was clear about not being well and

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Speaker 1: wanting him home. I respectfully disagree, but coms to just

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Speaker 1: come for a people. While you did communicate that you

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Speaker 1: were sad, you did not communicate at any point that

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Speaker 1: you wanted him to come home. I only see you

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Speaker 1: asking what he's doing, which so your phone can easily

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Speaker 1: be interpreted as you checking up on him. But I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be his mom and tell him come

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Speaker 1: back home? Fair? But what's wrong with asking him to

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Speaker 1: come back home? Hey babe, I'm really not in a

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Speaker 1: good headspace right now and needs and needs someone next

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Speaker 1: to me. Can you please come home now or let

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Speaker 1: me pick you up? Simple? I do think that that

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Speaker 1: is that's fair, A better a better communicated message, Like

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Speaker 1: the one thing I'll tell ope is like, yeah, I

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Speaker 1: don't want to be his mom. It's like you definitely

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Speaker 1: should not be his mom, but I think, you know,

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Speaker 1: kind of saying like, at the same token, you deserve

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Speaker 1: to have a space to have your feelings fully hurt. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and like you know, share. It's like, listen, my aunt

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Speaker 1: is freaking going out the door any second. I'm sitting

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Speaker 1: here while you're cracking open cold ones. Like I just

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Speaker 1: kind of with freaking raw, like freaking ro I'm just

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Speaker 1: like I kind of need you right now, and like

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Speaker 1: you know, I don't want to be control. You could

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Speaker 1: even say do like I don't want to be controlling.

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Speaker 1: I't want to like tell you what to do, but

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Speaker 1: like I kind of just need my manner. Also, he

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Speaker 1: was apparently just next door, so you could have simply

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Speaker 1: walked over only to not be alone. That he must

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Speaker 1: be the one who gets the info and makes the

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Speaker 1: decisions with it. You didn't give him all the info. Essentially,

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Speaker 1: you're telling him he should always connect the dots and

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Speaker 1: read your mind. Whether you communicate effectively or not, you

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Speaker 1: did not communicate effectively last night. Maybe in person, your

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Speaker 1: expectations would have been more clear, but over the phone

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Speaker 1: is not as obvious as you may think. It's hard

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Speaker 1: to call you an a hole, as I can tell

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Speaker 1: you have a lot going on or not in good place,

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Speaker 1: but unfortunately you're the closest person to an a hole

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Speaker 1: in this story. Commenter, stop stop a bunch of men

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Speaker 1: answer edit. While I was initially leaning soft year the

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Speaker 1: a hole, Opie's comments and edits made it clear that

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Speaker 1: you're just insufferable. Opie response, he was like forty five

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Speaker 1: minutes in a walk far away. It's Ron that lives near,

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Speaker 1: so they could walk home with someone not alone. I

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Speaker 1: told him by message, I hope you don't take too

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Speaker 1: long to come home, and he took more than an

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Speaker 1: hour and a half to come home. I'll try to

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Speaker 1: be clear next time, but I wasn't sure how to

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Speaker 1: deal with it, which again I will cut Opie some slack.

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Speaker 1: Like she is saying, she is trying, she is saying

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Speaker 1: something she is in a like just had a horrible

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Speaker 1: week horrible. So yeah, I just yes, it's not I

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Speaker 1: don't think we should be bringing down the hammer of

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Speaker 1: this hard on Opie. My primary desire was to sleep

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Speaker 1: and let him party as long as he wanted, but

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Speaker 1: when I was unable to sleep, I started asking for

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Speaker 1: him to come home. Reply you did not ask him

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Speaker 1: to come home. Generally wondering are you reading these responses,

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Speaker 1: because you seem to be doing a lot of over

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Speaker 1: explaining without actually absorbing what we're saying. And there is

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Speaker 1: an update. Well after my post, the general opinion was

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Speaker 1: that I was the a hole. So I took accountability

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Speaker 1: about my poor communication and bad timing, and I apologized

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Speaker 1: to him yesterday, especially for making him cry when he

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Speaker 1: came back home because it was not a good time

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Speaker 1: for talking about anything important, and promising to be clear

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Speaker 1: next time. He told me that I had nothing to

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Speaker 1: apologize for, that he is the one who's sorry for

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Speaker 1: extending his afternoon without expressing his intention of doing so,

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Speaker 1: and that if I need him, I just have to

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Speaker 1: ask for it. Okay. He told me he wasn't expecting

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Speaker 1: drink so much, that he was going to go with

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Speaker 1: Ron as usual, but then he and the younger people

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Speaker 1: joined them and started to ask for shots and liquor,

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Speaker 1: and they just did the same and lost track of time.

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Speaker 1: They didn't plan to do it because they have their

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Speaker 1: dinner party scheduled next Friday, but it was something that

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Speaker 1: just happened. Ron called him today to see how Alan

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Speaker 1: was asking him at what time did they arrive home?

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Speaker 1: As Ron didn't remember. Ron is in his early sixties.

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Speaker 1: Bro Ron is out here just party getting after it

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Speaker 1: jolly and was destroyed after all that booze in handling

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Speaker 1: a very bad hangover. Despite many of you suggest they

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Speaker 1: are not in college, he is in something called FP,

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Speaker 1: which I think is known as a vocational education in English. Okay,

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Speaker 1: he is learning construction, making walls, concrete roofs, but they

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Speaker 1: also have a lot to study AutoCAD, the software laws

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Speaker 1: about safety management and budgeting materials, and he is the

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Speaker 1: best in his class. He started that because he wants

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Speaker 1: to build a house, or to renovate a country house,

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Speaker 1: as he wants to leave the town. When I met him,

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Speaker 1: he was living at a village thirty minutes by car

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Speaker 1: away from our town. Small town anyways, less than half

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Speaker 1: a million people, renting a house with a garden and

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Speaker 1: a chicken. And he spent the lockdown there. But after

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Speaker 1: that his landlord reclaimed it for his son and did

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Speaker 1: not renovate. So he came back to my place to

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Speaker 1: be able to say for that future house that he

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Speaker 1: wants to be ours. Okay, nice, His plan is not

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Speaker 1: looking for a job in construction, but sometimes he talks

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Speaker 1: about maybe starting his own construction business. He says he

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Speaker 1: never wants to go back to a usual job or

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Speaker 1: having a job schedule. I encourage any plan he has

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Speaker 1: and offered my help with all the legal aspects of

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Speaker 1: opening and maintaining a business. So now we're like, I

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Speaker 1: love how we just like jumped, like we we just

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Speaker 1: went from like you know, Ron was like sixty out here.

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Speaker 1: Pounded him back, like I might start a business with Ron,

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Speaker 1: Like he might build us like our our forever home cottage.

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Speaker 3: Like I'm so here for.

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Speaker 1: Dude, Ron, what a what an enigma is?

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Speaker 3: I don't think that it's a secret boy from it?

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Speaker 1: I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I mean, if it was.

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Speaker 1: Listen Ron, like low key? Are they a better match

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Speaker 1: like Ron's.

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Speaker 3: He's communicating with Ron.

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Speaker 1: It's hard. It's hard to hate on Ron right now.

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Speaker 1: He seems kind of great. I love I love Ron.

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00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,760
Speaker 1: I also encouraged him to try the adult classes to

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Speaker 1: go to college before he started studying, because he tried

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Speaker 1: many years ago but was unable to finish it due

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Speaker 1: to his work schedule. But he told me he preferred

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00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:15,720
Speaker 1: to learn practical skills and is no longer interested in university.

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00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:18,600
Speaker 1: Why or how he works for me. I am an

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Speaker 1: event planner and a performer, sometimes a performing events, others

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00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,520
Speaker 1: plans are vice versa. When we first met, he started

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Speaker 1: coming to see me perform in public events, not the

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Speaker 1: private ones, and started helping a little bit. After a

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Speaker 1: few I told him that if he was helping, he

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Speaker 1: was working and he should be paid. So he started

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Speaker 1: coming on weekends having his own job. But after a

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Speaker 1: few he told me he was not happy at his

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Speaker 1: job and wanted to quit and work more on this

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Speaker 1: sound engineering and performing. Also. I told him that I

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00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,760
Speaker 1: was thrilled, but this was a hard job and you

364
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Speaker 1: always work as others enjoy and forget about the weekends

365
00:17:49,840 --> 00:17:52,080
Speaker 1: and to think twice about it. He then quit in

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Speaker 1: twenty nineteen and started working for Slash with me. I

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00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,640
Speaker 1: also introduced him to some partners and he also works

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00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:59,040
Speaker 1: for other people sometimes, but we mainly work together on

369
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Speaker 1: the field because all the paperwork as mine and I

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Speaker 1: don't care because it's easy for me. Working with him

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00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,320
Speaker 1: is something that I love because he makes everything easier

372
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Speaker 1: and funnier. The accident of one of my workers also

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00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:12,680
Speaker 1: was an aerial accident. One of the girls didn't calculate

374
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,359
Speaker 1: well on a drop and hit her head and neck.

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Speaker 1: She said she was okay and just to leave her

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Speaker 1: at home. We told her to go to the hospital,

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00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,480
Speaker 1: but she said it was an old crook in the neck.

378
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:25,879
Speaker 1: But the next day she had pain and less movement.

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Speaker 1: So I had to learn how to deal with my

380
00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,480
Speaker 1: insurance so she could be treated on my behalf. She

381
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,439
Speaker 1: could have gone to the public system and said that

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Speaker 1: she had it practicing at home or something like that,

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Speaker 1: but I didn't want her to lie. But it was

384
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Speaker 1: not like somebody hurting their toe. I was worried because

385
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Speaker 1: I have my own injuries and apophesis hopefully. I said

386
00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:48,480
Speaker 1: that right broke on my neck years ago out and

387
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,679
Speaker 1: worried about the insurance and how it will develop. She

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00:18:50,760 --> 00:18:55,040
Speaker 1: also has a muscular contractor. Luckily just hyboprofen and heat,

389
00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,639
Speaker 1: no cervical collar nor stick. Leave. But I was worried

390
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,160
Speaker 1: a lot. And when my boy hit, he was coming

391
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Speaker 1: home and seems a bunch of guys thought he was

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Speaker 1: another person and started going after him hit him. And

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00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,359
Speaker 1: after that he came back to where the dudes were

394
00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:15,359
Speaker 1: to recover his hat. Oh my god, they hit him again,

395
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,879
Speaker 1: and he started running, entered a kebab shop and the

396
00:19:18,960 --> 00:19:24,720
Speaker 1: kabab guys hit him. Also, why did they hit us? Okay, dude,

397
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:29,119
Speaker 1: what what? I I don't know if I can believe

398
00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 1: this story. This is this is insanity. He was like

399
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,119
Speaker 1: five minutes away from our home. He didn't call me

400
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:37,119
Speaker 1: to go with him to recover the hat or anything.

401
00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:43,119
Speaker 1: Why are we going that cares? At first, he told

402
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,679
Speaker 1: me that he was not wasted, that he had just

403
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:49,119
Speaker 1: three or four adult sodas. But the other day he

404
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,880
Speaker 1: confessed that he was wasted and that he didn't remember much,

405
00:19:52,080 --> 00:19:55,720
Speaker 1: and now he's lying about how much he's drinking. At

406
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:58,600
Speaker 1: that he recorded two videos from the harm fl Act,

407
00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:02,520
Speaker 1: and sadly he he sounded defiant while they were after him.

408
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,160
Speaker 1: He told me it was his way of scaring them.

409
00:20:05,480 --> 00:20:08,159
Speaker 1: But the sound of that voice was like calling for

410
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:12,760
Speaker 1: a fight. So basically like he's like engaging back. He's yeah,

411
00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,080
Speaker 1: he's a bit provoking, a bit. Yeah. I don't think

412
00:20:16,119 --> 00:20:18,560
Speaker 1: he did anything on purpose or wanted to fight, But

413
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:21,080
Speaker 1: I think he dealt with the situation poorly because he

414
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 1: couldn't think clearly. And I'm afraid of how his mind

415
00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,439
Speaker 1: deals with things when he has too much booze. That

416
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Speaker 1: is very fair.

417
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Speaker 4: So fair.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So my great aunt passed away yesterday morning. I

419
00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 1: went to the wake at the funeral house in the afternoon.

420
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,239
Speaker 1: I couldn't be there because I was alone performing at

421
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,119
Speaker 1: the event. And yes, I could write on Reddit because

422
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,040
Speaker 1: you also have a lot of time waiting around for

423
00:20:43,119 --> 00:20:46,160
Speaker 1: things to happen. But today is the funeral and the cremation,

424
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,560
Speaker 1: and we will be there. He knows my whole close

425
00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,680
Speaker 1: family and cousins too. I'm like, please tell me there

426
00:20:51,760 --> 00:20:55,800
Speaker 1: isn't some you know, his dog just got out of

427
00:20:55,840 --> 00:21:03,320
Speaker 1: treatment or something to celebrate. My colon oscopy is next Thursday.

428
00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:11,639
Speaker 1: Case I forgot about that. God, yeah right, And I

429
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 1: am starting that diet to be clean, and he has

430
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,679
Speaker 1: arranged what to cook for the next few days. I

431
00:21:16,720 --> 00:21:19,880
Speaker 1: am worried about what they're going to find. My grandmother

432
00:21:19,920 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 1: passed away of colon cancer, and my grandma suffered the

433
00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:25,960
Speaker 1: same and had to remove part of hers I hope

434
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:28,840
Speaker 1: there's nothing like that, but my mind sometimes starts putting

435
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,680
Speaker 1: on the worst. But he is helping and joining my

436
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,960
Speaker 1: diet and making jokes about seeing my butt from the inside.

437
00:21:35,200 --> 00:21:35,920
Speaker 1: Make it better.

438
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:44,399
Speaker 3: Nice doing his part to do his part about the

439
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 3: house chores.

440
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:47,439
Speaker 1: He is not my butler. I do the groceries, I

441
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:50,439
Speaker 1: sometimes cook. I am the one who always does the dishes,

442
00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:53,639
Speaker 1: no dishwashers by hand, because he is the main cooker,

443
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,080
Speaker 1: and I also clean. But he is in charge, so

444
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,600
Speaker 1: I don't have the mental load. I go shopping with

445
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 1: a list he made. He thinks so on what to

446
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 1: eat during the week. I hate planning that and we

447
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,440
Speaker 1: would be eating three dishes again and again. So he

448
00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,920
Speaker 1: does it because he wants to eat well. And when

449
00:22:08,920 --> 00:22:11,080
Speaker 1: it comes to clean, we are both cleaning, but he

450
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,320
Speaker 1: is the manager and I am the helper. He tells

451
00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:16,639
Speaker 1: me we need to put the laundry, can you do

452
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,879
Speaker 1: it tomorrow morning? And I do it. Same with the

453
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,600
Speaker 1: house arranging. We change the worktop of the kitchen and

454
00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:23,440
Speaker 1: a few more things. Now I was there standing and

455
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,199
Speaker 1: varnishing what he told me and helping measure in all that.

456
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 1: But he is in charge of it, same as I

457
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,920
Speaker 1: am in charge of getting money and paying the bills

458
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: for us both. And I can relieve my mind of

459
00:22:32,119 --> 00:22:34,800
Speaker 1: thinking about that. Since twenty twenty one we had a

460
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:37,840
Speaker 1: show together, and now we cannot perform it. Everything lies

461
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,919
Speaker 1: on my solo show and planning events. It was okay

462
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,400
Speaker 1: because as long as he was starting his studies. His

463
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,040
Speaker 1: injury happened two months after he started studying. We were

464
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:48,639
Speaker 1: aware the rhythm of our performance and trainings will slow,

465
00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,720
Speaker 1: but for now it has not stopped at all. He

466
00:22:50,760 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 1: still comes as a sound engineer when he can, and

467
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,280
Speaker 1: I pay him so he does have income when he

468
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:57,720
Speaker 1: can't come. I have other people, but I prefer him,

469
00:22:57,760 --> 00:22:59,960
Speaker 1: and I pay him exactly the same I would pay anyway.

470
00:23:00,400 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 1: I don't think he is suffocated by me, or that

471
00:23:02,640 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 1: I'm taking advantage of a poor man. I think we

472
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,840
Speaker 1: have a great relationship and that he has been challenged

473
00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:12,040
Speaker 1: a lot, health problems, a miscarriage, being coworkers and lovers

474
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 1: at the same time. I mean, these are also challenges

475
00:23:15,160 --> 00:23:20,159
Speaker 1: you're going through, and we are still strong and caring

476
00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,639
Speaker 1: for one another. I expected that he could take a

477
00:23:22,640 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: step forward as I was having a terrible day, because

478
00:23:26,560 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 1: it would be natural for me to drop having fun

479
00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:32,240
Speaker 1: if I know he is sad and lonely, I wouldn't

480
00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:33,840
Speaker 1: be having fun at all, as I would be thinking

481
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:36,600
Speaker 1: about him. But we are different people that need different

482
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:40,360
Speaker 1: information and ways to talk. This is true also when

483
00:23:40,400 --> 00:23:42,960
Speaker 1: I studied as a master's degree last year, my way

484
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:45,959
Speaker 1: of celebrating my master's thesis was due was leaving on

485
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:48,439
Speaker 1: a vacation with him to show him my gratitude for

486
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:51,320
Speaker 1: being so supportive as I was studying and working, He

487
00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,240
Speaker 1: for sure took the main household as I was like

488
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:59,359
Speaker 1: fifteen hours a day occupied working. We went to a

489
00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:01,760
Speaker 1: place he wanted to visit and stayed there seeing the

490
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,639
Speaker 1: places where it was filmed some film he loves. I

491
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,320
Speaker 1: like the movie, but I'm not a huge fan, but

492
00:24:06,359 --> 00:24:08,119
Speaker 1: I was having a lot of fun seeing him excited

493
00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:11,240
Speaker 1: and taking videos and recreating the best scenes. He also

494
00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:13,719
Speaker 1: told me I could have gone to that bar and

495
00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,119
Speaker 1: be with him because if I was so worried. But

496
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: I only know Ron from his class. We see each

497
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,320
Speaker 1: other almost every Friday, and wasn't very interested in being

498
00:24:21,359 --> 00:24:24,560
Speaker 1: social and meeting new people. And they have been drinking

499
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 1: for so much longer, so I would have been in

500
00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:29,440
Speaker 1: a very different mood, which I think.

501
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,160
Speaker 4: Is it's fair.

502
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:31,879
Speaker 3: And I think she said that early in the text,

503
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:33,400
Speaker 3: like I'm just not up for that tonight.

504
00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, have fun, Yeah, I want to stay at home today. Yeah,

505
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,280
Speaker 1: I now see him over my Sunday pancakes. It made

506
00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 1: by him, and I know I couldn't be luckier, but

507
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:45,679
Speaker 1: having by my side this handsome, joyful strong man is

508
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:48,680
Speaker 1: something to be happy for and try to make him

509
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:55,199
Speaker 1: happier day by day. We still haven't communicated about like

510
00:24:55,680 --> 00:24:58,520
Speaker 1: big issues. I feel like, like is he is he

511
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:02,080
Speaker 1: going to keep going out and like getting wasted? I don't,

512
00:25:02,119 --> 00:25:05,880
Speaker 1: I don't know. I mean, perhaps these two incidents were

513
00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:09,119
Speaker 1: the only time and they are unconnected and isolated and

514
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:13,359
Speaker 1: far apart. But I don't believe that's the case.

515
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 3: I would believe it.

516
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,120
Speaker 1: I would guess that's not the case. Oh my gosh.

517
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:20,800
Speaker 1: He is sad because one of our cats unlived and

518
00:25:20,920 --> 00:25:24,320
Speaker 1: brought a small bird and it's oh sorry the cat

519
00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 1: is still alive, because it's the bird that's gone. I

520
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,640
Speaker 1: was like another thing, another one. It got a small

521
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:36,240
Speaker 1: bird and it is not singing outside anymore. And he's

522
00:25:36,280 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: so cute saying that this little bird was his friend.

523
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 1: What is going on happening? So we have Ron and

524
00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:51,240
Speaker 1: bird friend. Okay, they are very important characters, but he's

525
00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 1: gone too, just like Auntie. What is happening? I put

526
00:25:56,680 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 1: quotes because he is part true, part making funny drum.

527
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:03,200
Speaker 1: It was disgusting cleaning the poor birdie, but he could

528
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:06,760
Speaker 1: make a cute thing from everything. Carly, I'm not gonna

529
00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:11,320
Speaker 1: lie for your first for your debut story on the

530
00:26:11,359 --> 00:26:15,960
Speaker 1: public stream with all with hundreds of chat here cheering

531
00:26:16,000 --> 00:26:16,800
Speaker 1: and supporting you.

532
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:17,560
Speaker 4: Yeah.

533
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: This this was maybe the wildest ride, the craziest roller

534
00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,400
Speaker 1: coaster we possibly could have locked you into.

535
00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,959
Speaker 3: I'm still not sure what's going on. I thought we

536
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,760
Speaker 3: were gonna have some communication. I thought we were just

537
00:26:29,760 --> 00:26:33,440
Speaker 3: gonna talk it out. Instead, we're we're building our own

538
00:26:33,480 --> 00:26:35,480
Speaker 3: house in the woods with Ron.

539
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:42,000
Speaker 1: And making pancakes making Okay, So that's I think that's

540
00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:44,399
Speaker 1: all we can really make sense of this. Sorry, but

541
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 1: you know what, let's let's let's let's bring it home chat,

542
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,800
Speaker 1: Let's let's close out strong. So so I was the

543
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:53,639
Speaker 1: ahole for making him cry and not communicating enough my needs.

544
00:26:53,640 --> 00:26:57,240
Speaker 1: But this man is staying with this insufferable monster as

545
00:26:57,240 --> 00:27:00,520
Speaker 1: many of you called me, and hadn't shown any desire

546
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:04,199
Speaker 1: or changing anything on our life, hoping his operation to

547
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 1: be a sapp as he has to see more than

548
00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,359
Speaker 1: one doctor until he's put on the list, and we

549
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:12,200
Speaker 1: want to perform together again so badly.

550
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:13,760
Speaker 4: What was this?

551
00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:17,560
Speaker 1: I didn't know he was going into fricat. I thought

552
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:22,600
Speaker 1: she was going anyways. I guess he's getting some surgery

553
00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,800
Speaker 1: or something. I know he misses that stage, but we

554
00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,600
Speaker 1: have to be patient to wait till he's come back.

555
00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 1: Thanks a lot to those who helped me seeing another

556
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:32,720
Speaker 1: point of view, especially the ones that kept it civil

557
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,239
Speaker 1: without insulting me. The others, well, it was funny at

558
00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,520
Speaker 1: first being roasted a little bit, but I don't think

559
00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,200
Speaker 1: I'm such a monster. But I'll recall it for future

560
00:27:40,240 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: performances as it could be a funny character and having

561
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,480
Speaker 1: summoned him by me as I am way smaller than him,

562
00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,800
Speaker 1: can be a great act. At some Halloween events we

563
00:27:48,880 --> 00:27:51,480
Speaker 1: performed as where he was a beast in me as

564
00:27:51,520 --> 00:27:54,240
Speaker 1: his trainer, and it was well received. But was something

565
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:57,359
Speaker 1: I designed for that party in particular. I never thought

566
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 1: of leaving him, and we will elope someday what is

567
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 1: going on. Never thought of leaving him. Never. We will

568
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:07,600
Speaker 1: do the Beauty and the Beast act and I have

569
00:28:07,920 --> 00:28:10,399
Speaker 1: not thought about leaving him. But we are going to

570
00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:11,800
Speaker 1: run away and get married.

571
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:13,480
Speaker 3: Yes, And we have a cabin in the woods with

572
00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:14,480
Speaker 3: Ron exactly.

573
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 1: Yes, they're all important, relevant details, relevant as we love

574
00:28:19,119 --> 00:28:21,639
Speaker 1: working on events but hate them around us. So I

575
00:28:21,680 --> 00:28:24,000
Speaker 1: guess they don't want a wedding as we are talking

576
00:28:24,080 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 1: about that and nothing has changed, but my desire on

577
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:30,639
Speaker 1: explaining my needs better and not expect nobody to be

578
00:28:30,680 --> 00:28:31,399
Speaker 1: a mind reader.

579
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:32,359
Speaker 4: I don't know.

580
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,000
Speaker 3: I think she wanted us all to be mind readers

581
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:35,360
Speaker 3: with that.

582
00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:39,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, there we go, it's over. That's it.

583
00:28:40,360 --> 00:28:44,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, I will say one point against Opie. I could

584
00:28:44,600 --> 00:28:47,200
Speaker 3: maybe see from that story that she doesn't really know

585
00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 3: how to communicate.

586
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:53,000
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I mean maybe they just like belong together,

587
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: like like they're both just in this like fantasy world

588
00:28:57,720 --> 00:29:02,200
Speaker 1: of just like it's just like, you know, do Arabatics

589
00:29:01,960 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: and chill with Ron and build a cottage and be

590
00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:09,200
Speaker 1: a part time sound engineer. Yeah, you know, like maybe

591
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: that's maybe that's the solution to every.

592
00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 3: It's a dream, It's a dream, Dream Team.

593
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 2: Hey, it's Sam. We're gonna get back to the stories.

594
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,520
Speaker 2: But here's three minutes of bads from our sponsors.

595
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 3: My fiance got a new assistant. I don't see it ending.

596
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,520
Speaker 1: Well, oh what kind of assistant?

597
00:29:25,640 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 3: Hi? Y'all? Twenty six female and thirty one male. We've

598
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:31,200
Speaker 3: been engaged since Christmas, and our whole relationship has been

599
00:29:31,200 --> 00:29:34,000
Speaker 3: a total fairy tale. He's my rock. Here's the tea.

600
00:29:34,280 --> 00:29:35,160
Speaker 1: Ooh.

601
00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 4: He got this.

602
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,120
Speaker 3: Huge promotion last month that involves travel and a new assistant,

603
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 3: which is great, But his new assistant, Rachel twenty four female,

604
00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:45,600
Speaker 3: is a little much. I met her once at a

605
00:29:45,600 --> 00:29:48,600
Speaker 3: company happy hour last month. She was super sweet, but

606
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 3: she also told me I was so lucky and that

607
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,960
Speaker 3: she hoped to find a guy just like him someday.

608
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 3: Whatever TF that means. By the way, this comes from

609
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:03,360
Speaker 3: puzzle headed tip zero zero zero two nice on the

610
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,920
Speaker 3: r slash too Hot Take subreddit, and if you want

611
00:30:05,960 --> 00:30:08,840
Speaker 3: to submit your own stories, go to r slash Okay

612
00:30:08,840 --> 00:30:12,600
Speaker 3: storytime subreddit. So she texts him at all hours, sending

613
00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:16,440
Speaker 3: him memes and really pushing the whole mentorship thing. He says,

614
00:30:16,480 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 3: she's just young and he's trying to be a good mentor,

615
00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:22,200
Speaker 3: which makes sense because he's genuinely one of the kindest

616
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,880
Speaker 3: people I've met. Last week, he had this business trip

617
00:30:24,920 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 3: to Chicago, and Rachel went with him because that's literally

618
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:32,480
Speaker 3: her job, right. I love how she's writing this, but

619
00:30:32,560 --> 00:30:34,840
Speaker 3: when I was helping him unpack I found this receipt

620
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:38,360
Speaker 3: from a really fancy restaurant, way fancier than what his

621
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 3: company usually approves for expenses. I didn't get to look

622
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,160
Speaker 3: at the bill before he said, ah, I need that,

623
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:45,680
Speaker 3: and just handed it over to him. When I asked

624
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:47,600
Speaker 3: about it, he got kind of weird and said they

625
00:30:47,640 --> 00:30:50,320
Speaker 3: had to take a client there, but then he changed

626
00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 3: the subject super fast. I didn't press him. Then I

627
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,360
Speaker 3: was looking through our shared cloud for a picture and

628
00:30:56,400 --> 00:31:00,000
Speaker 3: saw that he screenshotted Rachel's instant story from that same

629
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,520
Speaker 3: night at that same restaurant. It was a pick of

630
00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,840
Speaker 3: just the two of them looking all cozy in a

631
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 3: booth with a caption that said best boss ever. He

632
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,720
Speaker 3: said the client took the picture right before they had

633
00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 3: to leave, and that the dinner was a celebration for

634
00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,240
Speaker 3: landing the account. I wasn't too concerned until this morning,

635
00:31:21,360 --> 00:31:23,560
Speaker 3: when his phone was buzzing on the nightstand while he

636
00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:26,240
Speaker 3: was in the shower. I saw a preview that said

637
00:31:26,760 --> 00:31:29,720
Speaker 3: last night was exactly what I needed.

638
00:31:29,560 --> 00:31:33,320
Speaker 1: With an emoji, this is looking.

639
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,560
Speaker 3: And then we find out it's a white heart. White

640
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:39,480
Speaker 3: Heart's not a romantic heart. But I was still shocked.

641
00:31:40,040 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 1: I mean, it is a heart, It's still a heart.

642
00:31:47,720 --> 00:31:49,720
Speaker 3: I showed him the phone after he got out, and

643
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 3: he just laughed, accusing me of snooping jokingly and showed

644
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:55,640
Speaker 3: me his texts. It was just them talking about a

645
00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:59,160
Speaker 3: presentation and her career, but that one message felt so

646
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,120
Speaker 3: out of place. Am I clueless?

647
00:32:01,360 --> 00:32:01,880
Speaker 4: Ps?

648
00:32:01,960 --> 00:32:04,360
Speaker 3: He just told me as I'm writing this, he's going

649
00:32:04,360 --> 00:32:06,720
Speaker 3: to have to start flying to La once a month

650
00:32:06,880 --> 00:32:09,920
Speaker 3: for the new development in LA and help Rachel get

651
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,800
Speaker 3: settled in the new office he got her promoted to.

652
00:32:13,160 --> 00:32:15,040
Speaker 3: He said, it's a great excuse for us to have

653
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,560
Speaker 3: a little weekend getaways. I don't know what to think

654
00:32:17,640 --> 00:32:19,600
Speaker 3: or how to feel, but I'm glad to have her

655
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,440
Speaker 3: out of my hair, I guess. And there is an update.

656
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:26,480
Speaker 3: My fiance's new assistant isn't as sneaky as she thought.

657
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:32,760
Speaker 1: Maybe she is a sneaky friend. Hey, I sneakily helped

658
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: you on that last report show surprise.

659
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 3: Oh boy, we're in for a ride. Hey, y'all, thank

660
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:40,640
Speaker 3: you for the perspective and care on my last post.

661
00:32:40,760 --> 00:32:43,160
Speaker 3: I can tell this community really wants to save me

662
00:32:43,200 --> 00:32:47,120
Speaker 3: from pain, and many of you had really articulate perspectives,

663
00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 3: the situation is a little complex. Still, there were two

664
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:53,640
Speaker 3: other accidents I didn't mention in my original post on

665
00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:58,480
Speaker 3: my profile. Links aren't allowed here, so the accidents Apparently.

666
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 3: Rachel called him as he was driving home from work

667
00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:04,440
Speaker 3: this week crying about a family emergency. He tried to

668
00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:06,520
Speaker 3: talk to her. He tried to talk her through it,

669
00:33:06,600 --> 00:33:09,440
Speaker 3: but ended up meeting her at a cafe before he

670
00:33:09,480 --> 00:33:12,120
Speaker 3: came back for dinner. I was concerned, and as soon

671
00:33:12,160 --> 00:33:15,480
Speaker 3: as he walks in, I saw lipstick on his collar.

672
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 3: I was hesitant, but like, that's dang evidence, he said.

673
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:21,640
Speaker 4: She hugged me.

674
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 3: I didn't realize, sir, you cannot be playing with my

675
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 3: emotions like that. He was very transparent about their chat,

676
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 3: and I had to believe him, so I shrugged it off,

677
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:35,520
Speaker 3: telling him he wouldn't be seeing her after work hours.

678
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: Just fair.

679
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,920
Speaker 3: Spotify on desktop shows you what your friends are listening

680
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:43,959
Speaker 3: to at work. He was listening to a playlist named

681
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:49,360
Speaker 3: Iterative Flow Q two. Sure it was collaborative and had

682
00:33:49,400 --> 00:33:53,080
Speaker 3: only one other editor. It was mostly like twenty fourteen

683
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:56,640
Speaker 3: Chill Step except one song, I Feel Like I'm Drowning,

684
00:33:56,840 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 3: which if you've ever heard that song, co play it well.

685
00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 4: We were.

686
00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 3: We were driving. He hands me his phone ad anything

687
00:34:08,920 --> 00:34:11,200
Speaker 3: you want to the Q two list. You have good taste,

688
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:16,080
Speaker 3: needs more chaos. Feels like he's playing the field.

689
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:16,760
Speaker 4: Okay.

690
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 3: After reflecting on this in the bath, I had to

691
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,120
Speaker 3: bring all this up. I didn't mention the Reddit post.

692
00:34:23,440 --> 00:34:26,720
Speaker 3: He was calm when I confronted him about emotionally cheating.

693
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:29,560
Speaker 3: I brought up the receipts and the screenshot, and he

694
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,520
Speaker 3: admitted it was a little over the line. He said,

695
00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:34,880
Speaker 3: you're right to be concerned. I should have been clearer

696
00:34:34,920 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 3: about boundaries from the start. He wasn't deflecting, and he

697
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:41,319
Speaker 3: was apologetic that these things made me feel this way.

698
00:34:41,600 --> 00:34:43,880
Speaker 3: He assured me he didn't feel anything towards her, and

699
00:34:43,920 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 3: I shouldn't feel threatened just because she knows how to

700
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 3: get her way. He suggested we all grab drinks together

701
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 3: at trivia night so I could see their dynamic. I

702
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,000
Speaker 3: went to bed feeling like I'd been a little unfair,

703
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,239
Speaker 3: but glad I brought it up. So last night, after

704
00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 3: reading all the comments, I met him at the bar.

705
00:34:59,680 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 3: I was a bit weary, but optimistic. He's at a

706
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:06,720
Speaker 3: high top with her and two other girl coworkers. They're laughing.

707
00:35:06,840 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 3: He sees me and introduces me to everyone as my

708
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:14,960
Speaker 3: R and D funnel for creative problem solving. Oh R

709
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:17,200
Speaker 3: and D funnel for creative problem solving.

710
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:23,800
Speaker 1: Bro is naming his playlists like Iterative Vix's Quarter two.

711
00:35:24,200 --> 00:35:27,839
Speaker 1: Hey this is my This is my business associate over here,

712
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:30,640
Speaker 1: my fun officer.

713
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:36,919
Speaker 3: Creative problem solver. See now, I would be mad if

714
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,440
Speaker 3: nameless producer introduced me like that.

715
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:48,239
Speaker 1: Hey, this is my illustrious co host over here, done

716
00:35:48,239 --> 00:35:49,799
Speaker 1: and done right.

717
00:35:51,520 --> 00:35:53,720
Speaker 3: He orders drinks for us and gets her a seltzer

718
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 3: before she asks. During trivia, they both slapped the bar

719
00:35:57,320 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 3: at the exact same second when they knew the answer,

720
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:04,239
Speaker 3: like they've rehearsed it. I wanted to drink every time.

721
00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 3: She finished his sentences. Driving home, he says, she just

722
00:36:07,680 --> 00:36:10,880
Speaker 3: mirrors people really well. She reminds me of someone I

723
00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:13,560
Speaker 3: knew and didn't tell me who that might be.

724
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 1: Speaks.

725
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,640
Speaker 3: This man is just this is like finance bro one

726
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:25,719
Speaker 3: on one Yes, yeah? Is that praise or a confession?

727
00:36:26,080 --> 00:36:28,480
Speaker 3: I press him, saying I feel like he's giving her

728
00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 3: way more attention than is reasonable and he needs to

729
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:34,080
Speaker 3: stop for everyone's sake. Her crush on him. Shouldn't get

730
00:36:34,080 --> 00:36:36,920
Speaker 3: in the way of our relationship and his career. I

731
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:41,080
Speaker 3: asked him, isn't this emotional cheating? And he hesitated before

732
00:36:41,120 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 3: saying it's not like that, okay, and then she says, y'all, y'all.

733
00:36:47,719 --> 00:36:50,200
Speaker 3: He proceeded to open a note on his phone and

734
00:36:50,360 --> 00:36:54,400
Speaker 3: passed it to me. He had documented every interaction with

735
00:36:54,560 --> 00:37:00,000
Speaker 3: Rachel for the past month with times, contexts, and images

736
00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:03,680
Speaker 3: is It had her little emergencies, It had this screenshot

737
00:37:03,719 --> 00:37:06,919
Speaker 3: of them together at the restaurant in it, and call

738
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:11,399
Speaker 3: logs and other zoom call transcripts I didn't know about.

739
00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:15,720
Speaker 3: It was overwhelming and I barely skimmed it. He said

740
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,600
Speaker 3: she's brilliant and manipulative and that he needed a case

741
00:37:19,680 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 3: before going to HR.

742
00:37:21,840 --> 00:37:28,360
Speaker 1: Wait, what so now now it sounds like you would

743
00:37:28,440 --> 00:37:31,320
Speaker 1: agree with her because you're bringing a whole case to HR.

744
00:37:32,160 --> 00:37:35,359
Speaker 1: Like that to me is like him admitting it's inappropriate, right,

745
00:37:35,760 --> 00:37:38,400
Speaker 1: But then he's like, not, it's not like that though.

746
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:40,160
Speaker 1: Also so like.

747
00:37:40,440 --> 00:37:43,920
Speaker 3: From what they've said that they're doing, do you see

748
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:47,600
Speaker 3: any major besides the lipstick is one for me, But

749
00:37:47,680 --> 00:37:50,399
Speaker 3: besides that, are you noticing anything that you're like Ah,

750
00:37:50,520 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 3: that's no.

751
00:37:51,600 --> 00:37:54,160
Speaker 1: I mean like like kind of all of it. But

752
00:37:54,239 --> 00:37:58,640
Speaker 1: like I will say, it's like a lot of the difference,

753
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,640
Speaker 1: like for instance, them have the dinner together, right, that

754
00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 1: could be fine, you know, and and maybe also like

755
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 1: they said, the client was it was it like other

756
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,400
Speaker 1: people were there or they like they went off after celebrating.

757
00:38:12,400 --> 00:38:14,359
Speaker 1: They're like, oh, like let's grab a bye, or that.

758
00:38:14,520 --> 00:38:17,239
Speaker 3: Was the meeting that landed them the big deal, so

759
00:38:17,239 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 3: that was the client. The client took their pictures.

760
00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:21,279
Speaker 1: The client took right, Yes, you're right, the client took

761
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:24,600
Speaker 1: the picture right, So I think and you know, I

762
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:26,640
Speaker 1: was even thinking about the notes. At first. I was

763
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 1: like the fact that he documented all this stuff is crazy.

764
00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,040
Speaker 1: But then she mentioned, oh it was like the zoom

765
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:33,920
Speaker 1: meeting notes and all this. I was like, oh, is

766
00:38:34,160 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 1: is this just a list of like notes from their meetings,

767
00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:39,719
Speaker 1: because that like, I mean, we take a lot of

768
00:38:39,719 --> 00:38:42,319
Speaker 1: notes in our meetings here and have like a billion notes.

769
00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,040
Speaker 1: But then it was like also personal stuff like the

770
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:47,279
Speaker 1: screenshot from her Eiety story. So like like it it

771
00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 1: almost feels like he's he knows that these all these

772
00:38:51,200 --> 00:38:55,200
Speaker 1: things are suspicious, and he like attaches a like reasonable

773
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:57,600
Speaker 1: thing to it right, right, that's.

774
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:00,399
Speaker 3: Like because it's kind of like he is her mentor Yeah,

775
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,720
Speaker 3: so it's like he has to be doing some of it. Yeah,

776
00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:07,200
Speaker 3: but she's almost taking it to that like further level.

777
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 1: And I also think the thing too, is like OPI

778
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:14,279
Speaker 1: is pretty clearly expressing her discomfort, and I feel like

779
00:39:14,280 --> 00:39:16,959
Speaker 1: like my response would be like okay, I like one

780
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,920
Speaker 1: like what would make you feel more comfortable in this

781
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: relationship and then also try to be like proactive in

782
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:26,560
Speaker 1: how I'm interacting with that person, to be like, let

783
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:29,040
Speaker 1: me like make sure it's clear to this person that

784
00:39:29,080 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: this isn't like emotional cheating or whatever that or like

785
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: that there's nothing like going on between us like that

786
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 1: our interactions wouldn't like hurt my partner. You know, it

787
00:39:39,360 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like he's doing that, right.

788
00:39:42,520 --> 00:39:44,920
Speaker 3: Yeah, That's where I'm but tell me more.

789
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:45,479
Speaker 4: We'll see.

790
00:39:45,719 --> 00:39:46,439
Speaker 1: See let's see.

791
00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,480
Speaker 3: Boyfriend says I was handling it and didn't want to

792
00:39:49,520 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 3: worry you with something I could manage. He said he's

793
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:55,520
Speaker 3: going to schedule a meeting with their boss to talk

794
00:39:55,560 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 3: about what to do next.

795
00:39:57,560 --> 00:40:02,560
Speaker 1: We have more. I am this is tragically short because

796
00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:06,240
Speaker 1: I wanted to play more context.

797
00:40:05,840 --> 00:40:08,440
Speaker 4: I wanted the Google doc with all the info.

798
00:40:09,000 --> 00:40:09,440
Speaker 1: Yeah.

799
00:40:09,680 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 3: I asked him if the dinner in Chicago really was

800
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 3: with a client. He said yes and no. We were

801
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 3: celebrating landing an account with a client. But I also

802
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,560
Speaker 3: needed to ask or something. I can't tell you right now.

803
00:40:22,120 --> 00:40:25,279
Speaker 3: You just have to trust me. I honestly had such

804
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:27,799
Speaker 3: a big sigh of relief that I didn't have to

805
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:30,040
Speaker 3: be as tense about the whole thing. But I'm having

806
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:32,919
Speaker 3: trouble communicating the fact that they seemed to need each

807
00:40:32,960 --> 00:40:35,759
Speaker 3: other for whatever reason. But I can't let it go

808
00:40:35,920 --> 00:40:39,040
Speaker 3: on like how he's been doing. You can't just say

809
00:40:39,080 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 3: because you need to trust me on it.

810
00:40:41,360 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, I like, that's the whole point, is that you

811
00:40:44,200 --> 00:40:46,800
Speaker 1: are doing things that are make me questioning the trust.

812
00:40:46,880 --> 00:40:49,920
Speaker 3: Hey, but I'm worried that if the boss will see

813
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:52,600
Speaker 3: it like he does because he went along with it.

814
00:40:52,640 --> 00:40:54,880
Speaker 3: Is there a good reason for why he didn't include

815
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:57,560
Speaker 3: me in this. He never outright lied to me, but

816
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:01,000
Speaker 3: he definitely curated what I saw. He probably could have

817
00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:03,800
Speaker 3: shut her down more, but I was looking for reasons

818
00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:06,440
Speaker 3: to not break off the engagement. He's the type to

819
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:09,000
Speaker 3: be in control, but sometimes I wonder if he likes

820
00:41:09,040 --> 00:41:12,080
Speaker 3: the game a little too much. I think I'm going

821
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:15,439
Speaker 3: to just buy him that book Not Just Friends by

822
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 3: Shirley glass Ruff. We have some comments, let's see it.

823
00:41:21,080 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 3: Comment one. As a former HR director in your fiance's

824
00:41:25,120 --> 00:41:28,120
Speaker 3: notes document, how many times did he note that he

825
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:32,200
Speaker 3: explicitly asked or told her to see certain behaviors? As

826
00:41:32,239 --> 00:41:35,000
Speaker 3: an example, when she called him for emotional support, he

827
00:41:35,040 --> 00:41:37,719
Speaker 3: should have told her something like, well, I appreciate that

828
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 3: you value my opinion slash advice. Calling to discuss a

829
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:44,600
Speaker 3: personal issue is not appropriate. This is something that cannot

830
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 3: happen again. For someone who's in management. He should know

831
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,759
Speaker 3: that he needs to have verbalized that Rachel needed to

832
00:41:50,760 --> 00:41:54,080
Speaker 3: focus on work only and that her comments or behavior

833
00:41:54,160 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 3: were inappropriate. And his whole comment about asking her a

834
00:41:57,080 --> 00:42:00,359
Speaker 3: question when you can't know about come on, Well, it's

835
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 3: good you trust him, and it's good he's keeping record

836
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:07,680
Speaker 3: of Rachel's macin nations imaginations. It doesn't seem as if

837
00:42:07,719 --> 00:42:09,839
Speaker 3: he has the handle on it. He thinks he does,

838
00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:12,920
Speaker 3: or has told you he does. Good luck and update me.

839
00:42:13,239 --> 00:42:16,840
Speaker 3: And someone replied, I second this. He's either playing himself

840
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 3: or he's playing you. He doesn't have a handle on this. Personally,

841
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 3: I think he put it together to keep you quiet.

842
00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:27,640
Speaker 3: Manipulation comes in many forms. There's another reply for me.

843
00:42:27,840 --> 00:42:30,320
Speaker 3: It ends as soon as your partner does not introduce

844
00:42:30,400 --> 00:42:35,080
Speaker 3: you as his partner. Yeah, whatever the game he's playing,

845
00:42:35,239 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 3: that is the line I forget.

846
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, like, yeah, why not, like, oh, this

847
00:42:40,680 --> 00:42:42,040
Speaker 1: is my fiance.

848
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:44,759
Speaker 4: Right, not creative? What was it?

849
00:42:44,880 --> 00:42:49,200
Speaker 1: Creative? My chief fun officer, my chief creative. It's like

850
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 1: it's like when it was like my R and D

851
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:57,440
Speaker 1: funnel person. Yeah, it's giving very like yeah like finance

852
00:42:57,560 --> 00:43:00,840
Speaker 1: bro or just like super, like tech bro. It's like super.

853
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,080
Speaker 1: Oh he just doesn't either, he doesn't get it. But actually,

854
00:43:05,120 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: actually I think he does get it. I think he

855
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:09,600
Speaker 1: gets it. I think he knows what he's doing. And

856
00:43:09,640 --> 00:43:14,239
Speaker 1: that's so bad. But anyways, that's I think that's the

857
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:16,319
Speaker 1: end of that album.

858
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:19,719
Speaker 2: My sister said I'm not good enough for my boyfriend.

859
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,759
Speaker 4: She doesn't know, I heard, Well, what does she know?

860
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:26,200
Speaker 2: Firstly, my sister and this group of friends are what

861
00:43:26,239 --> 00:43:32,759
Speaker 2: I would consider my closest friends. Like my sister, I

862
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 2: love these girls that I literally tried to donate a

863
00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:41,120
Speaker 2: kidney for one of them. And now I'm one hundred

864
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:46,560
Speaker 2: percent heartbroken's my kidney. My boyfriend is an amazing guy, kind, funny,

865
00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:51,319
Speaker 2: smart as heck, and pretty much a model. He's just

866
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,960
Speaker 2: gorgeous and a This isn't a problem for me, and

867
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,200
Speaker 2: we worked it out. He's also very open to it

868
00:43:57,239 --> 00:44:00,120
Speaker 2: and everyone knows, which I entirely support. By the way,

869
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:04,600
Speaker 2: this comes from t on wwww and assist help and

870
00:44:04,640 --> 00:44:06,160
Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

871
00:44:06,160 --> 00:44:08,720
Speaker 2: the r slash Okay storytime celebrate it. We were supposed

872
00:44:08,719 --> 00:44:10,760
Speaker 2: to hang out a week ago, but after spending about

873
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:14,359
Speaker 2: half an hour, his job called him they had to leave.

874
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:17,840
Speaker 2: This didn't bother me a lot because I had a

875
00:44:18,200 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 2: un alive headache and went home.

876
00:44:21,280 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 4: Bad headache.

877
00:44:22,239 --> 00:44:24,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, and a bad headache and went home. My sister

878
00:44:24,680 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 2: and I share an apartment to save money. We have

879
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,640
Speaker 2: a year long lease. So I guess I'm screwed. Long

880
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,680
Speaker 2: story short, I closed my door, didn't light up, and

881
00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:36,000
Speaker 2: took a nap. Next thing I know, I wake up

882
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,759
Speaker 2: to my sister's voice. She and those friends were at

883
00:44:38,760 --> 00:44:41,480
Speaker 2: our house and from what I heard, they were going

884
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:43,680
Speaker 2: to a club and were drinking a bit, waiting for

885
00:44:43,719 --> 00:44:46,120
Speaker 2: others and to get up because I was lazy, won't

886
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:50,280
Speaker 2: have to put on pants. And then they started talking

887
00:44:50,320 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 2: about me. I'm not proud, but I was curious. They

888
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:58,360
Speaker 2: were talking about how they couldn't believe I was dating

889
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:01,040
Speaker 2: my boyfriend, how he was too good for me, I

890
00:45:01,120 --> 00:45:03,319
Speaker 2: was too ugly to get a guy like him. My

891
00:45:03,440 --> 00:45:08,520
Speaker 2: sister then started telling how being a sexual is obviously

892
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:10,799
Speaker 2: an excuse to not have spicy sleep with me.

893
00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:15,919
Speaker 4: Oh ikey, I hate that. Oh okay, so she Yeah,

894
00:45:15,960 --> 00:45:20,680
Speaker 4: she has no valid you know, no valid things to say.

895
00:45:21,280 --> 00:45:24,560
Speaker 2: I'm not pretty all, yes you are. And while it

896
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:28,520
Speaker 2: does make me insecure, I know I have other good characteristics,

897
00:45:28,880 --> 00:45:31,839
Speaker 2: but it is very hard hearing that. Also, like half

898
00:45:31,840 --> 00:45:34,800
Speaker 2: of being hot is personality? Yeah and confidence?

899
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:35,720
Speaker 4: Yeah.

900
00:45:35,800 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 2: So. They also made fun of my learning disability. They

901
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 2: called the R word, which I can't even effing write it.

902
00:45:43,000 --> 00:45:45,400
Speaker 2: Then I wasn't even financially stable. They made fun of

903
00:45:45,400 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 2: my job. They said I had to beg to be ft.

904
00:45:49,000 --> 00:45:53,400
Speaker 2: All of my friends laughed and all of them crap, talk.

905
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:54,840
Speaker 4: To me, those aren't your friends.

906
00:45:55,120 --> 00:45:57,560
Speaker 2: I was crying pretty hard at that point. They left,

907
00:45:57,600 --> 00:45:59,440
Speaker 2: and I didn't know what to do. I went to

908
00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:02,799
Speaker 2: bed and basically made myself scarce this week. I get

909
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 2: up earlier, get home later, or stay at my boyfriend's.

910
00:46:05,880 --> 00:46:08,680
Speaker 2: I answer their messages, but was somewhat cold. I know

911
00:46:08,719 --> 00:46:10,480
Speaker 2: I have to talk with them, even if it's just

912
00:46:10,520 --> 00:46:12,840
Speaker 2: a cut off contact, but I can't open my mouth

913
00:46:12,920 --> 00:46:16,240
Speaker 2: right now. I feel so ashamed and sad. My boyfriend

914
00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,760
Speaker 2: is also worried, but I can't get what they said

915
00:46:18,920 --> 00:46:22,360
Speaker 2: from my head. I know it's not true, and my

916
00:46:22,480 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 2: boyfriend is, but I feel like I'm not worth being

917
00:46:26,600 --> 00:46:30,359
Speaker 2: with him. My sister is my best friend. I don't

918
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 2: know if she is if she's asking that.

919
00:46:31,719 --> 00:46:34,240
Speaker 4: Actually, yeah, you thought she was your best friend.

920
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:37,400
Speaker 2: I having told her how I feel too ugly and

921
00:46:37,560 --> 00:46:41,600
Speaker 2: stupid to be with him. I showed her our messages

922
00:46:41,640 --> 00:46:44,920
Speaker 2: and we spoke about his acy. I love her so

923
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,480
Speaker 2: much it hurts. I can't stop looking at her, knowing

924
00:46:48,760 --> 00:46:51,759
Speaker 2: she was saying those things behind my back, and that

925
00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:53,960
Speaker 2: none of my friends said anything. I just don't know

926
00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:57,280
Speaker 2: what to do. I could break my lease, I guess,

927
00:46:57,360 --> 00:46:59,520
Speaker 2: even though it would be very expensive, but I don't

928
00:46:59,560 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 2: know how to say why I'm doing it, or how

929
00:47:02,440 --> 00:47:05,279
Speaker 2: I can face them. And this is why OP said earlier, like,

930
00:47:05,480 --> 00:47:08,000
Speaker 2: oh my lease as a year long lease, so I

931
00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:11,200
Speaker 2: guess it's crewed. I don't know if I should tell

932
00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:14,880
Speaker 2: my boyfriend. And we've gotten edit, we got some updates.

933
00:47:15,280 --> 00:47:19,160
Speaker 2: What do you think, Sophia, Well, should OP tell the boyfriend?

934
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:22,720
Speaker 2: Ye should ope, confront the sister about the terrible things

935
00:47:22,719 --> 00:47:25,640
Speaker 2: that the sister said. Also, yeah, and the boyfriend tell

936
00:47:25,680 --> 00:47:26,359
Speaker 2: me what you think.

937
00:47:27,120 --> 00:47:29,440
Speaker 4: I think absolutely. I think you can have a conversation

938
00:47:29,560 --> 00:47:32,160
Speaker 4: with your boyfriend and say hey, I overheard this really

939
00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:37,000
Speaker 4: awful stuff. Get some support from your partner. I think

940
00:47:37,080 --> 00:47:41,080
Speaker 4: absolutely confront these people that you thought were I mean,

941
00:47:41,160 --> 00:47:43,200
Speaker 4: especially your sister, like that someone's going to be in

942
00:47:43,239 --> 00:47:47,760
Speaker 4: your life kind of in some way or other forever.

943
00:47:48,680 --> 00:47:51,760
Speaker 4: Obviously you can go no contact, but like she's still

944
00:47:51,800 --> 00:47:54,360
Speaker 4: connected to you in a way that your friends are not.

945
00:47:55,640 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 4: So absolutely confront her. It seems like she's dealing with

946
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:01,880
Speaker 4: some heavy feelings of jealous But I think kind of

947
00:48:01,920 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 4: beyond all of that confrontation and you know, talking to

948
00:48:05,520 --> 00:48:08,480
Speaker 4: these people, I think I'm also kind of sensing a

949
00:48:08,520 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 4: lot of insecurity and you that maybe this is something

950
00:48:12,560 --> 00:48:15,240
Speaker 4: we go to therapy before, you know, therapy for, because

951
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:18,040
Speaker 4: it's super normal to have feelings of insecurity. But it

952
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:20,960
Speaker 4: feels like you are convinced that you're not pretty, that

953
00:48:21,040 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 4: you're not worthy of your partner, and it's like your

954
00:48:23,480 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 4: partner's with you for a reason. Yeah, you know, it

955
00:48:26,239 --> 00:48:28,480
Speaker 4: seems like your partner is attracted to you, even if

956
00:48:28,520 --> 00:48:32,200
Speaker 4: that's not necessarily, Like they don't have a spicy attraction

957
00:48:32,360 --> 00:48:35,000
Speaker 4: because that's just not how they operate.

958
00:48:36,200 --> 00:48:37,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're with you for a reason, and you have

959
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:39,960
Speaker 2: a lot of great qualities. I think that you just

960
00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:43,919
Speaker 2: need to rediscover in yourself and know that you have Yeah. Yeah,

961
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:47,839
Speaker 2: I mean, discussing behavior from a sister disgusting. But let

962
00:48:47,920 --> 00:48:50,880
Speaker 2: us see where this edit leads us. So at it.

963
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:53,840
Speaker 2: I can't explain how much you guys rock. Thank you

964
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:56,120
Speaker 2: so much for the advice, support and tough love. It

965
00:48:56,160 --> 00:48:58,360
Speaker 2: has truly helped me, and it warms my heart to

966
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:00,719
Speaker 2: see so many people taking their time to write a

967
00:49:00,719 --> 00:49:02,880
Speaker 2: stranger on the internet. I'm trying to respond to all

968
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 2: the comments, but if I haven't pleased, no, I have

969
00:49:05,000 --> 00:49:07,560
Speaker 2: read it and consider it. I promise I will talk

970
00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:09,800
Speaker 2: with my boyfriend tomorrow. We are going to his place

971
00:49:09,840 --> 00:49:13,800
Speaker 2: and I'll probably just show him this post and edit too. Hey, guys,

972
00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 2: thank you again so much for all the messages and

973
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:19,720
Speaker 2: well wishes. It truly made a moment of pain more bearable,

974
00:49:19,760 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 2: and it made me feel better to know there are

975
00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,480
Speaker 2: so many of those who care. I really need to

976
00:49:24,480 --> 00:49:26,440
Speaker 2: sleep now, but I will do my best respond to

977
00:49:26,440 --> 00:49:32,080
Speaker 2: the comments tomorrow. Thanks everyone, and now we have the updates.

978
00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:37,279
Speaker 2: So hey everyone. First of all, I'd like to thank

979
00:49:37,360 --> 00:49:40,240
Speaker 2: everyone for the messages and comments on my last post.

980
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,200
Speaker 2: It truly helped me get out of bed and face

981
00:49:43,239 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 2: the day. I showed my boyfriend the last post because

982
00:49:45,360 --> 00:49:48,040
Speaker 2: I didn't know how I could say it. He was

983
00:49:48,160 --> 00:49:52,319
Speaker 2: very sad and disappointed, but being a s he said

984
00:49:52,320 --> 00:49:55,040
Speaker 2: he has had his fair number of A holes, but

985
00:49:55,120 --> 00:49:57,040
Speaker 2: he mostly felt angry for me and agreed with the

986
00:49:57,040 --> 00:49:59,480
Speaker 2: majority of advice that I should confront her. I think

987
00:49:59,520 --> 00:50:00,960
Speaker 2: this is great. This is good. You went to the

988
00:50:00,960 --> 00:50:04,480
Speaker 2: boyfriend first and now you got your team.

989
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:05,040
Speaker 3: Yeah.

990
00:50:05,080 --> 00:50:08,840
Speaker 4: And also he's able to kind of, you know, reassure

991
00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 4: you that what they're saying is not true. Yeah, that's nice.

992
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:14,719
Speaker 2: We decided a letter would be the best choice since

993
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:16,560
Speaker 2: I actually write a lot of letters and it's not

994
00:50:16,719 --> 00:50:20,800
Speaker 2: direct confrontation. I like writing letters for moments, like letters

995
00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:23,680
Speaker 2: for when a person is sad, happy, angry, scared. So

996
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 2: I do have some technique, but this was, with no doubt,

997
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,040
Speaker 2: the hardest thing I ever wrote. I decided to go

998
00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 2: for simple and blunt. I told her I heard what

999
00:50:33,760 --> 00:50:35,719
Speaker 2: they said about me, and while I was willing to

1000
00:50:35,719 --> 00:50:38,120
Speaker 2: work on a relationship, I needed some distance from her

1001
00:50:38,200 --> 00:50:41,920
Speaker 2: and this whole situation. I talked with my landlord and

1002
00:50:42,040 --> 00:50:44,919
Speaker 2: she was super sweet and had no problem breaking the lease.

1003
00:50:45,280 --> 00:50:47,920
Speaker 2: I offered to find someone to take up my place,

1004
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:50,600
Speaker 2: but apparently she has someone that could use the room.

1005
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:54,080
Speaker 2: That's cool. I intended to pack and leave a letter

1006
00:50:54,160 --> 00:50:56,960
Speaker 2: on her bed, but she came home early and caught me.

1007
00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:00,920
Speaker 2: I basically said effet to myself and told her I

1008
00:51:01,000 --> 00:51:04,279
Speaker 2: heard what they were saying that I wasn't good enough

1009
00:51:04,600 --> 00:51:08,600
Speaker 2: in calling me names. First she tried to deny it,

1010
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:13,359
Speaker 2: which I was not having gaslighting crazy. Then she tried

1011
00:51:13,400 --> 00:51:15,680
Speaker 2: to justify and say it was overreacting, but I just

1012
00:51:15,719 --> 00:51:21,480
Speaker 2: stared at her. Then she finally started to apologize and cry.

1013
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,840
Speaker 4: Dang, she went through all of the emotions.

1014
00:51:23,400 --> 00:51:24,880
Speaker 2: All the emotions. I mean, I feel like she just

1015
00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 2: went through all of the excuses.

1016
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:30,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, she was like, uh, deny your fault. Uh tears.

1017
00:51:31,320 --> 00:51:34,759
Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean I feel like because it happened in

1018
00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:39,440
Speaker 2: such a quick sequence, it just feels like the apology is, Oh,

1019
00:51:39,520 --> 00:51:44,080
Speaker 2: it's fake, like nothing, nothing, yeah, dirt. Then she finally

1020
00:51:44,200 --> 00:51:46,880
Speaker 2: started to apologize and cry. At that moment, I actually

1021
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,120
Speaker 2: thought we might be able to save the relationship, but

1022
00:51:49,160 --> 00:51:52,800
Speaker 2: then she started making herself a victim. The main points

1023
00:51:52,840 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 2: were one, I just can't understand how hard it is

1024
00:51:57,600 --> 00:51:58,280
Speaker 2: to be pretty.

1025
00:51:59,280 --> 00:52:03,680
Speaker 4: Ooh, she's like, you just don't understand pretty privilege and

1026
00:52:03,719 --> 00:52:05,440
Speaker 4: how much of a burden is.

1027
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:09,280
Speaker 2: Two I don't understand how she feels because I'm used

1028
00:52:10,239 --> 00:52:11,320
Speaker 2: to not being the best.

1029
00:52:11,880 --> 00:52:15,640
Speaker 4: Wow, this is the worst apology I've ever heard.

1030
00:52:16,600 --> 00:52:19,440
Speaker 2: Three it's not fair. I get a gorgeous boyfriend who

1031
00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 2: is completely out of my league while she's single.

1032
00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,880
Speaker 4: I wonder, I wonder why we're single.

1033
00:52:25,560 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 2: Four she feels embarrassed when we go out together and

1034
00:52:28,600 --> 00:52:32,040
Speaker 2: she has to tell people that my boyfriend is actually mine,

1035
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:37,920
Speaker 2: not hers. Five she knows doesn't exist and we're just

1036
00:52:37,920 --> 00:52:38,760
Speaker 2: doing it for attention.

1037
00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:41,480
Speaker 4: Oh wow, she really sucks.

1038
00:52:41,840 --> 00:52:42,160
Speaker 1: Wow.

1039
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:43,920
Speaker 4: Really that is.

1040
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:47,520
Speaker 2: We've seen a lot of bad apologies on this show.

1041
00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:48,799
Speaker 4: We so have.

1042
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:52,520
Speaker 2: That is the most tone deaf, insane apology.

1043
00:52:52,719 --> 00:52:53,920
Speaker 4: Oh it got worse.

1044
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:57,480
Speaker 2: It got worse. With every point, I just kind of froze.

1045
00:52:58,440 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 2: I wish I had said something, but I couldn't open

1046
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 2: my mouth. She then said she was going out to

1047
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:07,880
Speaker 2: recover from our traumatic conversation and left.

1048
00:53:09,320 --> 00:53:13,359
Speaker 4: That's crazy, because what it feels like is op said, hey,

1049
00:53:13,560 --> 00:53:17,440
Speaker 4: like I overheard you said these kind of really terrible things,

1050
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:19,520
Speaker 4: and then she went, no, I didn't.

1051
00:53:19,960 --> 00:53:23,480
Speaker 1: Okay, I did, but it's your fault for being ugly.

1052
00:53:23,719 --> 00:53:28,320
Speaker 4: I'm sorry it was ever you understand what it feels

1053
00:53:28,400 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 4: like to be pretty because you're ugly in it. He

1054
00:53:32,200 --> 00:53:36,880
Speaker 4: actually doesn't exist, and you just will never understand how

1055
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:40,840
Speaker 4: it feels when people think that I'm your boyfriend's girlfriend

1056
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:42,440
Speaker 4: and that I have to tell him that I'm not.

1057
00:53:42,760 --> 00:53:46,399
Speaker 4: That's what happened. What happened, and I'm done with this

1058
00:53:46,520 --> 00:53:47,839
Speaker 4: traumatic conversation.

1059
00:53:48,160 --> 00:53:48,800
Speaker 1: I'm leaving.

1060
00:53:49,280 --> 00:53:52,080
Speaker 4: You had a conversation with yourself. That was a monologue, girl,

1061
00:53:52,280 --> 00:53:54,080
Speaker 4: the monologue that was aliloquy.

1062
00:53:55,000 --> 00:53:57,520
Speaker 2: So she then said she was going to leave this

1063
00:53:57,600 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 2: traumatic conversation. Left. I just packed there my things and

1064
00:54:00,640 --> 00:54:03,880
Speaker 2: left letters on her bed. I'm currently at my boyfriend's place.

1065
00:54:03,960 --> 00:54:05,880
Speaker 2: But I'm looking for a free room that is not

1066
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,520
Speaker 2: super far from my job. I also wrote and sent

1067
00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:11,959
Speaker 2: letters to my friends and then block their social media

1068
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:14,920
Speaker 2: slash contacts. I'm certain they'll find a way to approach me,

1069
00:54:14,960 --> 00:54:17,399
Speaker 2: as we were close, but I can't give an f

1070
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:19,759
Speaker 2: Besides all that, last Friday, I had a dinner with

1071
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 2: my parents. I gave them an edited version of what

1072
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:23,880
Speaker 2: happened because I don't want to talk about my spicy

1073
00:54:23,880 --> 00:54:26,760
Speaker 2: sleep life and that I broke the lease blocked my friends,

1074
00:54:26,800 --> 00:54:30,279
Speaker 2: and they said I shouldn't be angry because.

1075
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:30,720
Speaker 1: It was true.

1076
00:54:30,920 --> 00:54:31,640
Speaker 4: Who said that?

1077
00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:32,800
Speaker 2: The parents?

1078
00:54:32,960 --> 00:54:36,160
Speaker 3: Oh what your parents friends are the parents?

1079
00:54:36,280 --> 00:54:36,960
Speaker 2: The parents.

1080
00:54:37,120 --> 00:54:40,480
Speaker 4: Parents said you shouldn't be angry at your sister because

1081
00:54:40,520 --> 00:54:42,359
Speaker 4: it's true that you're ugly.

1082
00:54:42,320 --> 00:54:44,440
Speaker 2: And that the first time they met my boyfriend, they

1083
00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:45,960
Speaker 2: thought I was playing a prank.

1084
00:54:46,200 --> 00:54:49,719
Speaker 4: Wow, your parents are awful people, and I understand where

1085
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:50,839
Speaker 4: your sister gets it.

1086
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 2: My dad then started saying I was being very selfish

1087
00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,880
Speaker 2: by breaking the lease, and I crap, you not betraying

1088
00:54:56,920 --> 00:55:00,239
Speaker 2: my sister's trust, and that you don't do this with family. Yeah,

1089
00:55:00,239 --> 00:55:02,279
Speaker 2: I've been ignoring them since that happened, as well as

1090
00:55:02,280 --> 00:55:05,640
Speaker 2: my sister. Overall, I'm fine. I actually feel more tired

1091
00:55:05,880 --> 00:55:08,400
Speaker 2: than anger is sad, And there are some relevant comments.

1092
00:55:08,719 --> 00:55:12,440
Speaker 4: But oh my god, understand why you have low self esteem?

1093
00:55:12,520 --> 00:55:15,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean this is golden golden child syndrome for sure.

1094
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:19,200
Speaker 4: Yeah, your parents, your whole family is telling you that

1095
00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:23,960
Speaker 4: you're ugly and unlovable. Yeah, you're gonna take that to heart.

1096
00:55:25,280 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 3: Wow.

1097
00:55:25,560 --> 00:55:28,719
Speaker 2: Happy for this one, for sure. Relevant comments. This is

1098
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,640
Speaker 2: a little bit off topic, but I'm curious as to

1099
00:55:30,680 --> 00:55:33,319
Speaker 2: how your relationship dynamic works with your boyfriend. I don't

1100
00:55:33,360 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 2: know too much about Slash. You mentioned you have a disability,

1101
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:39,680
Speaker 2: so if it isn't too personal for me to ask,

1102
00:55:40,080 --> 00:55:42,600
Speaker 2: how does your relationship work? How do you go about

1103
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:44,840
Speaker 2: a spicy sleep life. I don't mean to be offensive

1104
00:55:44,960 --> 00:55:50,440
Speaker 2: or nosy, so apologies in advance. I'm just curious. Op responds,

1105
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:57,240
Speaker 2: don't worry. Is a scale just like hetero Slash attracted

1106
00:55:57,239 --> 00:55:59,759
Speaker 2: the same gender as a scale, and one side you

1107
00:55:59,800 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 2: have and on the other side you have alo sexuality.

1108
00:56:06,040 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 4: What's that wanting to have spicy.

1109
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 2: Between you have different shades of gray. Some people don't

1110
00:56:12,040 --> 00:56:15,160
Speaker 2: feel spicy attraction but don't really care about having spicy

1111
00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:17,520
Speaker 2: sleep if it makes their partners happy. Some really don't

1112
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:21,239
Speaker 2: want to do it, Some only feel spicy attraction for

1113
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:24,200
Speaker 2: those they have an emotional connection. It's very diverse community.

1114
00:56:24,719 --> 00:56:27,319
Speaker 2: As for the obstacles of dating an asexual man, I

1115
00:56:27,320 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 2: guess it mostly falls into what you consider a deal breaker.

1116
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:33,000
Speaker 2: What are your knees, et cetera. I can live without

1117
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:36,520
Speaker 2: spicy sleep. I can live happy without spicy sleep. Again,

1118
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:39,600
Speaker 2: it's about compromise. There are other things in my relationship

1119
00:56:39,640 --> 00:56:41,920
Speaker 2: that are more important to me than spicy sleep, and

1120
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 2: they are being met, so I'm happy. I guess it

1121
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,120
Speaker 2: just goes down to if you can't date someone without

1122
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:48,439
Speaker 2: spicy sleep, that's okay. If you can, that's okay too.

1123
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:52,160
Speaker 2: The only thing that is wrong is crapping on other

1124
00:56:52,280 --> 00:56:54,799
Speaker 2: people and op on. If her parents always treated her,

1125
00:56:54,800 --> 00:56:57,640
Speaker 2: says as the golden child. We were talking about that earlier.

1126
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,840
Speaker 2: I checked it out and some people sent links to me,

1127
00:57:01,400 --> 00:57:03,760
Speaker 2: and I believe they did treat her as a golden child,

1128
00:57:03,960 --> 00:57:06,480
Speaker 2: things like having to give her my clothes if she

1129
00:57:06,640 --> 00:57:08,680
Speaker 2: liked them, or having to eat her food if she

1130
00:57:08,680 --> 00:57:09,760
Speaker 2: didn't want it anymore.

1131
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:10,600
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1132
00:57:10,680 --> 00:57:12,640
Speaker 2: I can see how some of the things they did

1133
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:16,960
Speaker 2: were terrible, but saying they were harmful. It sounds too extreme.

1134
00:57:17,480 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, you know you got your partner. You guys

1135
00:57:21,120 --> 00:57:24,600
Speaker 4: know what you want and are happy in relationship. Your

1136
00:57:24,600 --> 00:57:25,680
Speaker 4: family sucks.

1137
00:57:26,280 --> 00:57:27,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like you need to create a lot

1138
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:29,480
Speaker 2: of distance, so much distance.

1139
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 4: The fact that they're like literally creating insecurities in you

1140
00:57:33,880 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 4: and probably have done that your whole life. Get those

1141
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:38,600
Speaker 4: people out of there, Get those people out of there.

1142
00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:41,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, this is uh, this is pretty this

1143
00:57:41,800 --> 00:57:44,480
Speaker 2: is pretty bad. But I'm glad that OP is taking

1144
00:57:44,520 --> 00:57:49,840
Speaker 2: the steps now. Yeah, to finally I think, like like

1145
00:57:50,040 --> 00:57:55,560
Speaker 2: finally be themselves. Also therapy, therapy. Hey it's Sam. We'll

1146
00:57:55,640 --> 00:57:57,480
Speaker 2: get back to the stories. But here's three minutes of

1147
00:57:57,480 --> 00:57:58,440
Speaker 2: ads from our sponsors.

1148
00:57:59,000 --> 00:58:01,840
Speaker 4: I told my sister to leave her husband because we

1149
00:58:01,880 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 4: don't like him.

1150
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:07,360
Speaker 2: I mean, it sounds like this is unlackable trigger warning emotional.

1151
00:58:08,600 --> 00:58:12,480
Speaker 4: My sister twenty eight is in an emotionally harmful marriage,

1152
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 4: and she has admitted that to me. I played nice

1153
00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 4: to her husband thirty for the past few years, even

1154
00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:20,880
Speaker 4: though I know how he truly was to her behind

1155
00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:24,480
Speaker 4: closed doors. The incident that happened that finally made me

1156
00:58:24,640 --> 00:58:27,200
Speaker 4: and my whole family step up, step up and say

1157
00:58:27,240 --> 00:58:30,560
Speaker 4: something to him, and her was this, by the way,

1158
00:58:30,640 --> 00:58:32,600
Speaker 4: this comes from hyper Ashley and if you want to

1159
00:58:32,600 --> 00:58:35,000
Speaker 4: smit your own stories, go to the rs slash Okay storytime.

1160
00:58:35,040 --> 00:58:37,720
Speaker 4: Separate it. So we went on a week long family

1161
00:58:37,760 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 4: trip and at the end of the trip he treated

1162
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,920
Speaker 4: her so badly. There was a theater room in the

1163
00:58:42,920 --> 00:58:45,400
Speaker 4: rental house and we were all watching a movie. He

1164
00:58:45,440 --> 00:58:47,560
Speaker 4: asked her to get up from her comfortable chair to

1165
00:58:47,600 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 4: go and cuddle with him. She declined because her chair

1166
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 4: was more comfortable than his and she was in front

1167
00:58:52,560 --> 00:58:56,000
Speaker 4: of her entire family and didn't want to cuddle. The

1168
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:59,960
Speaker 4: entire next day, after the cuddling incident, he stone was

1169
00:59:00,200 --> 00:59:03,000
Speaker 4: he would hold her eleven month old son and not

1170
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:05,280
Speaker 4: let her have him, even when the baby called out

1171
00:59:05,280 --> 00:59:08,480
Speaker 4: for his mama. After lunch, we decided to walk along

1172
00:59:08,520 --> 00:59:10,920
Speaker 4: a boardwalk and that's when things took a turn for

1173
00:59:11,000 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 4: the worst. During the car ride, none of the family

1174
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:15,840
Speaker 4: was in the car with them, he said he didn't

1175
00:59:15,840 --> 00:59:17,600
Speaker 4: know what the f was wrong with her, and that

1176
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:19,400
Speaker 4: he was going to go home when we all got

1177
00:59:19,440 --> 00:59:22,160
Speaker 4: back to the rental. Then he finished with a F you.

1178
00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:25,280
Speaker 4: My sister said, she didn't say anything back to him,

1179
00:59:25,520 --> 00:59:28,400
Speaker 4: one because she was in shock, and two because she

1180
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:30,360
Speaker 4: didn't know what she did to make him so.

1181
00:59:30,400 --> 00:59:32,720
Speaker 2: Angry the cuddle incident.

1182
00:59:32,920 --> 00:59:36,400
Speaker 4: Of course, my family naturally saw how upset my sister

1183
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:39,160
Speaker 4: was and stepped in. My mom and I took the

1184
00:59:39,160 --> 00:59:41,600
Speaker 4: baby from him and took my sister aside while my

1185
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:44,400
Speaker 4: dad and my husband had to talk with him. My

1186
00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:46,800
Speaker 4: dad told him he was acting like a little witch

1187
00:59:46,960 --> 00:59:48,680
Speaker 4: and to go home if he was going to act

1188
00:59:48,680 --> 00:59:51,200
Speaker 4: like that. My husband said, let's go get the car

1189
00:59:51,240 --> 00:59:53,680
Speaker 4: seat out of your car and you can leave. He

1190
00:59:53,720 --> 00:59:56,400
Speaker 4: then opened up to my husband and said, when she

1191
00:59:56,440 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 4: refused to cuddle with me, it made me feel like

1192
00:59:58,360 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 4: she was disgusted by me.

1193
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:02,880
Speaker 2: Oh my god, get over it. Get over it, Get

1194
01:00:02,960 --> 01:00:06,440
Speaker 2: over it. Give yourself a hug. It's much needed, my friend.

1195
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:09,960
Speaker 2: Maybe I don't know, get like a snake so you

1196
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 2: can get a little tight tight your last hug. Maybe

1197
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:16,760
Speaker 2: get that and a conda wrapped around a little python.

1198
01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:20,120
Speaker 4: He decided not to go home after all, dang, and

1199
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:23,280
Speaker 4: instead have an adult conversation with my sister where he

1200
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:25,880
Speaker 4: told her it was her fault that he acted that way.

1201
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:27,760
Speaker 4: Was that an adult conversation?

1202
01:00:28,600 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 1: He continued, to gave this adult conversation.

1203
01:00:31,040 --> 01:00:33,560
Speaker 4: He continued to stonewaller for the rest of the trip

1204
01:00:33,720 --> 01:00:35,880
Speaker 4: and the next two days after they got back home.

1205
01:00:36,600 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 4: Before we left the rental, I told my sister she

1206
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:41,920
Speaker 4: should leave him because we all are afraid that he

1207
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:45,120
Speaker 4: will turn physically harmful towards her and maybe their son too.

1208
01:00:45,920 --> 01:00:50,080
Speaker 2: He said, no, well, all right. I I don't think

1209
01:00:50,120 --> 01:00:55,400
Speaker 2: this guy is emotionally not that we know sure, but

1210
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:59,840
Speaker 2: I if there maybe, if there's other information that we

1211
01:00:59,880 --> 01:01:01,960
Speaker 2: haven't seen, like, maybe that's true. But I think it

1212
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:05,200
Speaker 2: is a stretch, based on the information right now, to

1213
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:09,600
Speaker 2: say that he might become physically a bit I think, however.

1214
01:01:09,280 --> 01:01:11,840
Speaker 4: I do think it is always a risk when you

1215
01:01:11,880 --> 01:01:16,080
Speaker 4: see someone being emotionally harmful, that is always a possibility,

1216
01:01:16,120 --> 01:01:17,800
Speaker 4: and I think it is better to be more.

1217
01:01:18,920 --> 01:01:21,240
Speaker 2: I feel like what I'm seeing is like he's just

1218
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:22,880
Speaker 2: being like a little poudy baby.

1219
01:01:23,760 --> 01:01:25,919
Speaker 4: I think I think that is kind of limiting because

1220
01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:27,640
Speaker 4: he's screaming at her for not.

1221
01:01:27,680 --> 01:01:29,120
Speaker 2: Oh that's true, he did say the F you.

1222
01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,320
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think he was screaming.

1223
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:32,920
Speaker 2: I think that would limit he was.

1224
01:01:32,880 --> 01:01:36,480
Speaker 4: Screaming what he's doing. He's highly unstable and has pupus

1225
01:01:36,560 --> 01:01:39,600
Speaker 4: because he's a cop. Also, he's in mandatory therapy from

1226
01:01:39,640 --> 01:01:43,880
Speaker 4: his work because they too think he's unstable. Uh oh uh.

1227
01:01:43,720 --> 01:01:47,400
Speaker 2: Oh red alert, red alert note.

1228
01:01:47,200 --> 01:01:49,880
Speaker 4: A few things I forgot to mention. This happened a

1229
01:01:49,920 --> 01:01:52,560
Speaker 4: few weeks ago, and my sister and brother in law

1230
01:01:52,600 --> 01:01:55,160
Speaker 4: have since had a discussion. She has decided to stay

1231
01:01:55,160 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 4: with him, but she is looking for a therapist for herself.

1232
01:01:58,160 --> 01:02:01,000
Speaker 4: I hope the therapist tells her belief. She asked him

1233
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:04,240
Speaker 4: to go to couples counseling, but he refused. He got

1234
01:02:04,240 --> 01:02:07,400
Speaker 4: a job in a different state and is now going

1235
01:02:07,440 --> 01:02:11,000
Speaker 4: to be moving them a few states away from everyone. No,

1236
01:02:12,600 --> 01:02:15,520
Speaker 4: he's isolating her. Yeah, she will be at least six

1237
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:17,760
Speaker 4: hours away, and we're all so scared for her, but

1238
01:02:17,800 --> 01:02:19,200
Speaker 4: we can't force her to leave him.

1239
01:02:19,760 --> 01:02:19,960
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1240
01:02:20,200 --> 01:02:24,160
Speaker 2: No, do this does feel like he is. It does

1241
01:02:24,200 --> 01:02:27,160
Speaker 2: feel like it's entering into a situation that's going to

1242
01:02:27,200 --> 01:02:28,680
Speaker 2: be harder and harder to get out of.

1243
01:02:29,040 --> 01:02:32,520
Speaker 4: YEP. Comment one says you have to be completely dangerous

1244
01:02:32,560 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 4: before your employer steps in with mandatory therapy. Don't just

1245
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:38,360
Speaker 4: tell your sister to leave, Tell her to come and

1246
01:02:38,400 --> 01:02:40,560
Speaker 4: stay with you and bring the baby. Keep telling her

1247
01:02:40,600 --> 01:02:43,200
Speaker 4: over and over. She needs to go to therapy as well.

1248
01:02:44,040 --> 01:02:47,240
Speaker 4: Opie says, I've told her repeatedly that she and the

1249
01:02:47,240 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 4: baby have a room at my house, and I've also

1250
01:02:49,200 --> 01:02:52,320
Speaker 4: encouraged her to go to therapy. Comment two says, not

1251
01:02:52,400 --> 01:02:54,800
Speaker 4: the ale him being a cop is a huge problem

1252
01:02:54,880 --> 01:02:57,280
Speaker 4: if he acts like this, I bet he only tells

1253
01:02:57,360 --> 01:02:59,720
Speaker 4: that work related therapist what they want to hear. He's

1254
01:02:59,720 --> 01:03:02,920
Speaker 4: probably a great actor at work. I hope your sister

1255
01:03:02,960 --> 01:03:05,600
Speaker 4: can see a therapist too, because I don't think she

1256
01:03:05,680 --> 01:03:08,439
Speaker 4: sees the I don't think she sees the harm through

1257
01:03:08,480 --> 01:03:11,880
Speaker 4: her eyes. It sounds like he has already affected her confidence.

1258
01:03:12,600 --> 01:03:15,040
Speaker 4: I pray she gets the help she needs. Opie says

1259
01:03:15,040 --> 01:03:18,320
Speaker 4: she is currently looking for a therapist and there is

1260
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:23,800
Speaker 4: an updates. Okay, okay, My sister sat down with him

1261
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:25,880
Speaker 4: and told him that she was looking for a therapist

1262
01:03:25,880 --> 01:03:28,840
Speaker 4: and that she was unsure about the move. He seems

1263
01:03:28,880 --> 01:03:31,160
Speaker 4: to think it's because of her anxiety about it being

1264
01:03:31,200 --> 01:03:34,320
Speaker 4: such a big move and nothing more. He did tell

1265
01:03:34,360 --> 01:03:35,880
Speaker 4: her that he could look for a job in her

1266
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:38,800
Speaker 4: state if she really wanted to, but she decided she

1267
01:03:38,880 --> 01:03:41,040
Speaker 4: wanted to focus on going to therapy first to learn

1268
01:03:41,080 --> 01:03:44,560
Speaker 4: how to communicate better with him. She found a therapist

1269
01:03:44,680 --> 01:03:47,080
Speaker 4: and was emailing with them to set up an appointment

1270
01:03:47,080 --> 01:03:49,560
Speaker 4: when her husband suddenly decided they needed to get their

1271
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:53,200
Speaker 4: house listed. I feel like he deliberately waited for her

1272
01:03:53,240 --> 01:03:56,080
Speaker 4: to find a therapist to do this. He doesn't know

1273
01:03:56,240 --> 01:03:58,840
Speaker 4: when his new job starts. He's scheduled to go back

1274
01:03:58,880 --> 01:04:02,200
Speaker 4: to police academy for six months starting in June, which

1275
01:04:02,240 --> 01:04:04,760
Speaker 4: means they really wouldn't be moving until probably around mid

1276
01:04:04,840 --> 01:04:07,120
Speaker 4: to late May. So why would they need to list

1277
01:04:07,160 --> 01:04:11,520
Speaker 4: their house right now? Like I said, it seems very

1278
01:04:11,560 --> 01:04:14,600
Speaker 4: calculated and deliberate to stop her from going to therapy,

1279
01:04:15,320 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 4: and it works.

1280
01:04:16,760 --> 01:04:18,560
Speaker 2: I feel like I have done see I'm seeing like

1281
01:04:18,640 --> 01:04:20,680
Speaker 2: I feel like, you know, like one of these situations

1282
01:04:20,680 --> 01:04:23,280
Speaker 2: would be a coincidence, but it's just multiple and multiple.

1283
01:04:23,320 --> 01:04:27,320
Speaker 2: That just makes me believe that he is isolating her

1284
01:04:27,480 --> 01:04:29,920
Speaker 2: and stopping her from getting the help that she needs

1285
01:04:30,000 --> 01:04:35,280
Speaker 2: to understand. Yeah, that this situation is absolutely aft agreed.

1286
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:37,960
Speaker 4: I feel like I have done everything I can for

1287
01:04:38,080 --> 01:04:40,680
Speaker 4: my sister at this time. She knows if she ever

1288
01:04:40,800 --> 01:04:43,720
Speaker 4: needs anything, I'll be there, but that's all I can do.

1289
01:04:44,520 --> 01:04:45,880
Speaker 4: And there is a second update.

1290
01:04:46,080 --> 01:04:48,600
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, this is not looking good. Though, this

1291
01:04:48,680 --> 01:04:49,680
Speaker 2: is not looking good at all.

1292
01:04:50,040 --> 01:04:52,440
Speaker 4: Since my sister decided not to go to therapy, I

1293
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:55,280
Speaker 4: have noticed some changes. For one thing, when I went

1294
01:04:55,320 --> 01:04:58,360
Speaker 4: to their house last weekend, I noticed that my brother

1295
01:04:58,400 --> 01:05:01,400
Speaker 4: in law now parks behind me my sister's car, blocking

1296
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,960
Speaker 4: her in Oh No, he never used to park his

1297
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:05,800
Speaker 4: truck there, so I thought it was weird that he

1298
01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:07,120
Speaker 4: suddenly started.

1299
01:05:07,640 --> 01:05:09,080
Speaker 2: Red foot where's the button?

1300
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:09,600
Speaker 1: Press?

1301
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:10,360
Speaker 2: The button? Keon?

1302
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:14,080
Speaker 4: My sister now acts as if the big incident never happened,

1303
01:05:14,520 --> 01:05:17,360
Speaker 4: just like her husband does. She did ask my mom

1304
01:05:17,360 --> 01:05:19,120
Speaker 4: and I do not bring it up anymore and do

1305
01:05:19,200 --> 01:05:21,640
Speaker 4: play nice. She really wants to make the marriage work

1306
01:05:21,680 --> 01:05:24,280
Speaker 4: and wants to quote give him another chance.

1307
01:05:24,480 --> 01:05:25,400
Speaker 2: Oh Jesus.

1308
01:05:25,480 --> 01:05:28,120
Speaker 4: Obviously, the rest of the family feel a little disappointed

1309
01:05:28,160 --> 01:05:30,760
Speaker 4: and very scared for her. I have since had to

1310
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:32,760
Speaker 4: tell our mom do not call me and ran about

1311
01:05:32,760 --> 01:05:36,240
Speaker 4: my sister anymore. The stress of that situation was taking

1312
01:05:36,240 --> 01:05:38,640
Speaker 4: me to a dark place mentally, and I will not

1313
01:05:38,760 --> 01:05:42,520
Speaker 4: go there again, especially for someone that is clearly not ready.

1314
01:05:42,800 --> 01:05:45,560
Speaker 4: My mom seemed a little disappointed in me for prioritizing

1315
01:05:45,560 --> 01:05:47,320
Speaker 4: my own mental health over my sisters.

1316
01:05:47,600 --> 01:05:50,120
Speaker 2: But like again, you gotta fill your cup before you

1317
01:05:50,120 --> 01:05:50,919
Speaker 2: can fill other people.

1318
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:53,320
Speaker 4: There's only so much that you guys can do.

1319
01:05:53,640 --> 01:05:56,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and if she's not willing and if and if you,

1320
01:05:56,840 --> 01:05:59,920
Speaker 2: I think everyone's mental bandwidth to help others is different.

1321
01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:03,120
Speaker 2: And if you are, if you get into too dark

1322
01:06:03,120 --> 01:06:04,920
Speaker 2: of a place, you won't be able to help her.

1323
01:06:05,240 --> 01:06:07,840
Speaker 2: So it's like I think, op, he needs to also

1324
01:06:07,880 --> 01:06:09,280
Speaker 2: prioritize her own mental health.

1325
01:06:09,400 --> 01:06:11,760
Speaker 4: But she'll just have to deal with that. I have

1326
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:14,280
Speaker 4: my own husband and life to put my energy in,

1327
01:06:14,360 --> 01:06:17,360
Speaker 4: and I feel much happier not thinking about my sister's

1328
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:22,120
Speaker 4: relationship all the time. My own therapist has reassured me

1329
01:06:22,200 --> 01:06:24,280
Speaker 4: that I have done everything that I can and that

1330
01:06:24,320 --> 01:06:26,880
Speaker 4: my sister just isn't ready to leave her husband yet.

1331
01:06:28,280 --> 01:06:32,600
Speaker 4: Update three. Okay, so a few things have happened since

1332
01:06:32,640 --> 01:06:35,680
Speaker 4: I last updated. First of all, my sister and her

1333
01:06:35,720 --> 01:06:38,720
Speaker 4: husband did not end up moving, thank goodness. He had

1334
01:06:38,760 --> 01:06:40,840
Speaker 4: a psych evaluation for the new job, and a week

1335
01:06:40,920 --> 01:06:43,080
Speaker 4: later was told he was no longer a good fit.

1336
01:06:43,720 --> 01:06:44,000
Speaker 2: Wow.

1337
01:06:45,080 --> 01:06:50,320
Speaker 4: And for the police, you know, for police officers, that's

1338
01:06:50,320 --> 01:06:53,680
Speaker 4: gotta be he's got to be pretty unfit, you know.

1339
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:57,160
Speaker 4: So that's one crisis averted. The rest of the family

1340
01:06:57,200 --> 01:06:59,640
Speaker 4: have only had to see him once since the terrible trip,

1341
01:07:00,040 --> 01:07:03,560
Speaker 4: on my nephew's first birthday. He barely spoke to anyone,

1342
01:07:03,560 --> 01:07:05,320
Speaker 4: which was fine with us because we didn't want to

1343
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:08,880
Speaker 4: be around him anyway. We're planning another family trip in September,

1344
01:07:08,920 --> 01:07:11,360
Speaker 4: a kind of redo. When my sister told her husband

1345
01:07:11,360 --> 01:07:13,680
Speaker 4: about it, he said, you realize I'm not going, right.

1346
01:07:14,440 --> 01:07:16,320
Speaker 4: She told him that was fine, but that she was

1347
01:07:16,360 --> 01:07:18,360
Speaker 4: still going and she was taking their son.

1348
01:07:18,920 --> 01:07:19,520
Speaker 1: Good on her.

1349
01:07:20,240 --> 01:07:21,400
Speaker 4: This is a good sign.

1350
01:07:21,640 --> 01:07:21,880
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1351
01:07:21,920 --> 01:07:24,680
Speaker 4: I want everyone who's like, you know, very worried about this.

1352
01:07:24,680 --> 01:07:26,760
Speaker 4: This is a good sign that she is standing up

1353
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:30,200
Speaker 4: for herself. He said, he figured she would. There is

1354
01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 4: a little bit left to the story. I do feel

1355
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:34,120
Speaker 4: like we're going in.

1356
01:07:33,960 --> 01:07:37,800
Speaker 2: The right direction. What just happened here the kid.

1357
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:41,440
Speaker 4: Basically, they said that they're planning a family trip and

1358
01:07:41,480 --> 01:07:43,200
Speaker 4: she's like, I'm going. He's like, I don't want to go,

1359
01:07:43,560 --> 01:07:46,080
Speaker 4: and she's like, okay, fine, but I'm going with the kidden.

1360
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:49,480
Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah, I feel like that is that it's a

1361
01:07:49,600 --> 01:07:52,720
Speaker 2: small step that he might be okay with it. Maybe

1362
01:07:52,720 --> 01:07:56,240
Speaker 2: it'll give her like the freedom realize, oh, like I

1363
01:07:56,360 --> 01:07:59,480
Speaker 2: can feel good without him. Maybe maybe like like like

1364
01:07:59,560 --> 01:08:02,200
Speaker 2: I think, you know, often when you're in an abusive relationship,

1365
01:08:02,240 --> 01:08:03,960
Speaker 2: you don't even know how good it can feel outside of.

1366
01:08:03,920 --> 01:08:07,160
Speaker 4: Her exactly, yeah, exactly, like taking time apart from him.

1367
01:08:07,680 --> 01:08:11,000
Speaker 4: They're not moving and he's not in this job that

1368
01:08:11,120 --> 01:08:15,439
Speaker 4: provides him with a weapon. Yeah, this is good when

1369
01:08:16,040 --> 01:08:18,240
Speaker 4: but uh, there's a little bit more to the story.

1370
01:08:18,520 --> 01:08:18,760
Speaker 2: Cool.

1371
01:08:18,920 --> 01:08:20,960
Speaker 4: I have a gut feeling that even though she says

1372
01:08:21,040 --> 01:08:23,240
Speaker 4: she's going, that she won't end up going.

1373
01:08:23,320 --> 01:08:23,559
Speaker 3: No.

1374
01:08:23,760 --> 01:08:26,920
Speaker 4: Oh no, I think a few weeks before I'll start

1375
01:08:26,960 --> 01:08:29,519
Speaker 4: acting out so she won't go. But we'll see. My

1376
01:08:29,560 --> 01:08:31,280
Speaker 4: mom still calls me a to vent, but I think

1377
01:08:31,320 --> 01:08:34,000
Speaker 4: I upset her. Last week, my mom said she felt

1378
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:36,240
Speaker 4: bad for my sister for always being in the middle

1379
01:08:36,680 --> 01:08:38,639
Speaker 4: and having to try to figure out how to make

1380
01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:41,240
Speaker 4: everyone happy. I told her I did not feel bad

1381
01:08:41,280 --> 01:08:44,479
Speaker 4: for my sister anymore, because she chose that when she

1382
01:08:44,600 --> 01:08:46,880
Speaker 4: chose to stay with him. When she chose to stay

1383
01:08:46,920 --> 01:08:48,400
Speaker 4: with him, she had to know that the rest of

1384
01:08:48,479 --> 01:08:50,280
Speaker 4: us would never see him the same, and that we

1385
01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:54,960
Speaker 4: don't like him. It's very hard on the mind that

1386
01:08:55,040 --> 01:08:57,040
Speaker 4: even though she chose to forgive him, the rest of

1387
01:08:57,120 --> 01:09:00,679
Speaker 4: us can't simply forget how he treated her. Was clearly

1388
01:09:00,760 --> 01:09:02,840
Speaker 4: upset that I could be so heartless, But I just

1389
01:09:02,840 --> 01:09:05,400
Speaker 4: don't have the time and energy to constantly worry about

1390
01:09:05,400 --> 01:09:10,880
Speaker 4: my sister, especially when she chose this by staying with him.

1391
01:09:11,280 --> 01:09:13,519
Speaker 4: My sister knows if she needs me. I'm there for her,

1392
01:09:14,080 --> 01:09:16,280
Speaker 4: and I feel like that's the most important.

1393
01:09:15,800 --> 01:09:17,560
Speaker 2: Thing, and that's all you can do. That's all you

1394
01:09:17,600 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 2: can do. You can be there for her, you can

1395
01:09:19,080 --> 01:09:22,240
Speaker 2: serve as a mirror for her, you know, use the

1396
01:09:22,280 --> 01:09:26,599
Speaker 2: Socratic method and uh ask questions. But you can't really

1397
01:09:26,640 --> 01:09:28,200
Speaker 2: say you gotta leave