WEBVTT - EP 89: A Do-What?! 0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:07.080 We're just two unapologetically black women with an opinion who 0:00:07.240 --> 0:00:11.600 talks back. What's up, y'all? Thank you for tuning them 0:00:11.680 --> 0:00:14.520 for a new episode that we talked back. It's your 0:00:14.560 --> 0:00:18.880 co host A J. Holiday. What up? Hey, y'all, it's me, 0:00:19.079 --> 0:00:22.240 damn bam. I love y'all. What's again this week? I dude, 0:00:22.320 --> 0:00:23.959 I love you too, a J. I don't think I 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:25.840 tell you enough. I tell you, but I don't tell 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:27.800 you know. If I love you so much, I love 0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:31.320 me too. I like my strangers, I love you warning 0:00:31.400 --> 0:00:35.839 him I love him too, though. What's up? Job? We've 0:00:35.840 --> 0:00:39.320 been going on? Girl, I ain't doing ship this weekend, 0:00:39.320 --> 0:00:42.159 if that's what you're asking. Nothing. I stayed in the 0:00:42.240 --> 0:00:46.000 house because I'm going away next weekend again, so I 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:48.479 saved my money for that, and I adn't feel like 0:00:48.520 --> 0:00:50.839 being bothered with nobody's selling this weekend, so I just 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:55.400 kind of chilled what you did? So apparently I've been 0:00:55.440 --> 0:01:00.440 at out of high school for twenty years now as 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:03.520 an old bitch. So we had like a little pull 0:01:03.600 --> 0:01:07.160 up some of my classmates. It was a good time. Okay, 0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.440 it was a really good time. Saw some people I 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:12.760 haven't seen in a while because even though I'm in Charleston, 0:01:12.760 --> 0:01:16.320 I don't see nobody. Honestly, I don't, so yeah, I 0:01:16.360 --> 0:01:18.480 got to see something. Actually, one of my classmates does 0:01:18.520 --> 0:01:20.160 go to the gym with me. Other than that, I 0:01:20.160 --> 0:01:22.639 won't be seeing nobody. So it was a good time 0:01:23.080 --> 0:01:25.200 with them. We went out, went to a couple of spots. 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:29.200 You a little better than all of them, of course. Okay, 0:01:29.760 --> 0:01:33.520 clear Me and my best decince first grade Priscilla, of course, 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:38.840 you know, shopping all people and adolescent saying adulthood. Okay, 0:01:40.560 --> 0:01:43.480 that was a good time. That's all I had going 0:01:43.560 --> 0:01:48.520 on and ship computer ship. I'm starting to read more, y'all. 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:51.720 I don't know if y'all read, but I read. Yeah, 0:01:51.840 --> 0:01:54.880 I'm trying to read more. So you read some books? Yes, 0:01:55.480 --> 0:01:58.360 I was reading this week every right, like a bit 0:01:58.480 --> 0:02:02.080 you can read like I'm starting to read more. It's 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:06.240 like a read bed on this ship. Like look at God, 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:09.080 an't you doing? I get right? I write really well, 0:02:09.320 --> 0:02:12.600 you know what I'm saying. A writer, But I guess 0:02:12.639 --> 0:02:14.400 that kind of goes hand in hand. It takes me 0:02:14.440 --> 0:02:17.639 a while to write because I have to really formulate 0:02:17.639 --> 0:02:21.360 my thoughts. But when I do, it's really good. So 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:23.760 I need I've picked up reading a little bit more 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:26.560 so I can get my my comprehension skills and spelling 0:02:26.639 --> 0:02:29.800 skills and reading skills altogether. Okay, so what are you 0:02:29.840 --> 0:02:35.320 reading right now? These nuts? I'm reading this book. I'm 0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:37.720 reading a book. I get people what I'm reading because 0:02:37.720 --> 0:02:39.560 they're gonna be like, man, this bitch is the devil. 0:02:39.919 --> 0:02:44.360 Go ahead. What's reading thinking? Girl? Big? Is Napoleon Hill book. 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:48.600 It's just a book about like your thoughts and manifesting 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:51.680 and things like that. Yeah, that's what I'm reading right now. 0:02:51.720 --> 0:02:53.920 And then I also reading in the Art of Commerce, 0:02:53.960 --> 0:02:57.760 stre you a whole That's a whole book. The Artist 0:02:57.800 --> 0:03:00.880 is Sorry, the artist deduction. Oh I've read that before. 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:04.080 I have that. Yeah, but I've been reading books on 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:08.360 magic and ship trying to perfect my craft a little 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:13.360 bit better. See'all, motherfucker's better be careful. What uh? We 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:17.080 We actually have some spells on today, So that's good. 0:03:17.400 --> 0:03:21.680 We got some spells on. Uh huh Susan spells. Oh right, 0:03:23.200 --> 0:03:25.600 but we'll get back to that all right. Let's get 0:03:25.639 --> 0:03:32.280 into stupid internet news. Cha cha chat? Okay, Sorrihanna finally 0:03:32.320 --> 0:03:40.560 got going on an army. Rihanna is assumingly because she 0:03:40.640 --> 0:03:43.440 posted her hand on Instagram holding a football in the 0:03:43.520 --> 0:03:48.120 air and then uh. The NFL's Instagram page also posted 0:03:48.160 --> 0:03:52.280 that they are now the National Finty League, So that 0:03:52.440 --> 0:03:55.240 will let us know that Rihanna is going to be 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:58.920 doing the halftime show for this year's Super Bowl. So 0:03:59.080 --> 0:04:01.720 Rihanna is super chunky right now after that damn baby. 0:04:01.800 --> 0:04:03.160 So I know she about to be on a stupid 0:04:03.200 --> 0:04:05.480 ass die, but I love how she looks. I liked, 0:04:05.920 --> 0:04:10.000 I like, yes, I want to bite Rihanna. Okay, so 0:04:10.080 --> 0:04:13.480 are you gay? No? But she just looks soft. That's 0:04:13.520 --> 0:04:16.320 the gayest ship you ever said. But I don't want 0:04:16.360 --> 0:04:18.599 to bite like okay, sign know lesbians really want to 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:21.320 bite Gucci. But I meant like, she just looked like 0:04:21.400 --> 0:04:29.320 she taste good. Starts starts really and I heard she 0:04:29.360 --> 0:04:32.920 smelled good like there's videos online about how good Rihanna sells. 0:04:33.520 --> 0:04:37.680 So yeah, I can't wait to watch halftime. Should I 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:40.320 might around trying to go to the damn uh Super 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:44.400 Bowl and she performing Yes, I want to go me too. 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:47.599 Let's get some tickets. Yes, I'm down. Let's get some 0:04:47.680 --> 0:04:49.640 men with tickets and then just be their cliss one 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:53.880 period because I know the ticket is gonna be expensive. 0:04:53.920 --> 0:04:57.960 If Rihanna there, they way more than they usually are there. 0:04:57.960 --> 0:05:04.320 Mary J. Blige passing out last started. I love that 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:07.360 for Rihanna though, me too. I'm happy for her. Hopefully 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.360 she got an album coming too. That would be nice. 0:05:09.680 --> 0:05:11.240 That would be nice that she do like a new 0:05:11.320 --> 0:05:14.080 song on the super Bowl. I hope it's extra black, 0:05:14.120 --> 0:05:16.440 and I hope white people be mad. It's like I'll 0:05:16.480 --> 0:05:20.960 be happy to Oh, let's get into Mystical. I don't 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:24.840 know if you guys saw this, but um Mr Cole 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:31.800 supposedly asked his victim of sexual assault he forced her 0:05:31.880 --> 0:05:36.040 to pray with him before he assaulted her, saying that 0:05:36.120 --> 0:05:40.360 he was going to remove the demons from her. Meanwhile, 0:05:40.400 --> 0:05:43.479 he was the demon. He's a sexual demon, and he 0:05:43.520 --> 0:05:45.919 probably should have never been released from prison because obviously 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:50.040 he's a predator. I don't understand, and I just feel like, 0:05:50.040 --> 0:05:53.520 I don't know, maybe this realm promotes this type of 0:05:53.560 --> 0:05:57.880 activity for some reason, like evil always prevails on this side. 0:05:58.880 --> 0:06:04.400 That dude is a menace to society. And I used 0:06:04.440 --> 0:06:07.159 to love Mtical like Mticle is fine as hell, like 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.200 why you gotta take pussy. I'm pretty sure there's a 0:06:10.240 --> 0:06:11.520 lot of women that would just give it to you. 0:06:11.520 --> 0:06:16.320 But we know rape is not about like, well exactly, 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:19.400 it's not about the sentence about control and power over 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:21.880 somebody else. Why why you want to be out here 0:06:21.880 --> 0:06:26.880 stealing cookies from women? Man's crazy. It's those type of 0:06:26.920 --> 0:06:29.760 people need to be lined up and executed. I don't 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:33.599 really believe in corporal punishment like that, but man, he 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:36.200 gotta get the funk up out of here. I'm sorry, 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:39.680 and anybody like him, they gotta get out of here. 0:06:39.960 --> 0:06:43.680 You're just around here just ruining people lives, right quick, right, 0:06:44.120 --> 0:06:46.880 don't take nobody's body from him. I hope they shake 0:06:46.960 --> 0:06:50.560 your faith and so your way. You're a little stupid. 0:06:51.320 --> 0:06:53.839 Like I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and 0:06:53.920 --> 0:06:57.160 he was almost like victim blaming talking about like, you know, 0:06:57.720 --> 0:07:00.320 somebody's videos on YouTube he was watching. He was like, 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.480 you know, they kind of made a point because they 0:07:02.480 --> 0:07:06.080 were saying, how, um, you know, women put themselves in 0:07:06.200 --> 0:07:09.400 dangerous positions for things to happen to them. So yeah, 0:07:09.400 --> 0:07:12.240 we gotta focus on men not rape women, right, but 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:16.720 also women need not put themselves why the fuck do 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:19.480 I have to adjust my entire life because you don't 0:07:19.480 --> 0:07:22.960 have no self control? And he was like, you know, 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:25.440 women be walking outside three o'clock in the morning, usually 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:27.880 those are car hoppers. You should be you should you 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:32.440 should be able to walk outside any time and be safe, exactly, 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.000 And and let's have to worry about protecting your body 0:07:35.040 --> 0:07:38.559 from some fucking predator. Yeah. What I said to him was, listen, 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:40.880 we gotta look at the statistics of how many women, 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.680 I'll just say black women in particular, right, how many 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.040 black women do you think are raped just because they 0:07:46.120 --> 0:07:49.560 walking outside three m in comparison to going on a 0:07:49.680 --> 0:07:52.720 date or visiting a man that you know and trust 0:07:52.920 --> 0:07:56.840 and being violated. I'm pretty sure that's a little bit higher. 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:00.520 Then walking outside three o'clock in the morning doesn't really happened, 0:08:01.360 --> 0:08:03.600 but as much, Yeah, it doesn't happen as much as 0:08:03.640 --> 0:08:06.760 somebody just going out with somebody and a man thinking 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:10.720 he has, you know, all rights over your fucking body. 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:15.080 It is. And you know, farewell to that nigga, Sorry 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:22.840 to that nigger. Moving right along, we gotta talk about 0:08:22.840 --> 0:08:25.400 it nia long and I can't how do you pronounced 0:08:25.440 --> 0:08:32.040 that gentleman's name a duca ducal. So apparently this man 0:08:32.120 --> 0:08:35.400 that I called cheating on the ain't none of us safe, y'all? Yeah, 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:38.680 I don't be surprised exactly. Ain't nobody exempt from real 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:41.120 life events. Let's be clear, even Kneel Long or Beyonce. 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:43.760 Beyonce got cheated on too. All that's gone got cheated on. 0:08:43.880 --> 0:08:48.760 So Niil Long is no different. Okay? Do we even think? 0:08:48.880 --> 0:08:53.040 I'm almost starting to feel like mono monogamy. It's an 0:08:53.080 --> 0:08:56.640 idea of the past and it's no longer normal. We 0:08:56.679 --> 0:08:58.640 don't even know what type of relationship these people are, 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:00.800 and maybe they're in a non monogam this relationship. You 0:09:00.880 --> 0:09:04.199 just never know. What I do know is that why 0:09:04.280 --> 0:09:07.840 the funk? You can't funx somebody outside of the Celtics. 0:09:07.840 --> 0:09:10.320 So this is the head coach of the Magna be 0:09:10.360 --> 0:09:12.199 at work all the time, he got time to meet 0:09:12.200 --> 0:09:15.880 bitches outside of work. That's the problem at least. Okay, 0:09:15.960 --> 0:09:20.440 So here's the backstory, y'all. So a mayaducal head coach 0:09:20.559 --> 0:09:24.240 of the Celtics. He's been put on a year long suspension. 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.560 They didn't say indefinitely, So right now he's suspended for 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:31.200 a year from the team. Right, he apparently was having 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:36.760 an affair with the vice president of finances wife and 0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:40.440 then the team travel the person like who does the 0:09:40.480 --> 0:09:44.959 travel for the team? The two he's having sexities, two 0:09:45.480 --> 0:09:53.160 white women, both of them both phones. Listen, they ain't black, 0:09:53.520 --> 0:09:56.640 both phones, you know, So everybody's online just feeling so 0:09:56.679 --> 0:10:00.760 bad for Nia long and Da da da. Let's take 0:10:00.800 --> 0:10:03.160 into consideration that Ni Along has been with this man 0:10:03.520 --> 0:10:05.920 for ten years, they have a child together, and he 0:10:06.040 --> 0:10:09.800 never married you, so like he's been a free agent 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:15.440 all this time. Essentially technically, yeah, you ain't married. We 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:17.960 can't have higher standards for the alone that she has 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:20.760 for herself because now this man is cheated and you 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:23.280 have no way to get any benefits out of him. 0:10:23.320 --> 0:10:25.240 There's no divorce going to happen where you could take 0:10:25.240 --> 0:10:27.800 half as she don't need no benefits from that? Why not? 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:31.240 Does she don't need it? When is the wind? I 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:33.280 know the last movie I've seen her and was maybe 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:36.559 two years ago now, But we're not gonna act like 0:10:36.679 --> 0:10:39.439 this man doesn't have more money than the Along. I 0:10:39.480 --> 0:10:43.640 don't know the basketball team NBA team, yes, and I 0:10:43.640 --> 0:10:47.400 believe he used to play as well, so and he 0:10:47.520 --> 0:10:50.880 find his Hell, let's let's let's be clear kicked up. 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:54.600 Listen that she might not even gave a fun if 0:10:54.720 --> 0:10:57.120 y'all talking so much about it that now she gotta 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:00.520 act like that's most women like, Okay, yeah, cheated, but 0:11:00.559 --> 0:11:05.800 it's the embarrassment that it's the embarrassment like now the 0:11:05.880 --> 0:11:08.199 whole world, even if she wanted to stay with him, 0:11:08.200 --> 0:11:10.959 as almost like she has to make a choice. She's forced, girl, 0:11:11.160 --> 0:11:14.520 stay with your man. You fifty one, I'm pretty sure 0:11:15.040 --> 0:11:20.240 the first time he cheated. But this woman, the travel 0:11:20.320 --> 0:11:23.720 agent or whatever, he just she just helped her move 0:11:23.800 --> 0:11:28.880 to Boston. She assisted me along because it wasn't personal. 0:11:29.600 --> 0:11:33.079 Clearly the funk wasn't personal. But imagine this is the 0:11:33.160 --> 0:11:36.240 motherfucker who scheduled ship for the team, right, so you're 0:11:36.240 --> 0:11:39.319 probably scheduling your disappointment when my man before you schedule 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:48.360 me to come. She's a help she's a helpful home. Yo. Listen, 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:55.760 at least you consider it. No, I would beat her up. 0:11:56.400 --> 0:11:59.280 You're playing in my face. That's for me. It's about 0:11:59.360 --> 0:12:01.400 it's the respect. You know. What I'm saying is that 0:12:01.520 --> 0:12:05.319 the lack of respect. Who had it the man of 0:12:05.440 --> 0:12:08.120 the like that the lack of respect is her man. 0:12:08.800 --> 0:12:11.040 She's doing her job. That's her job, right, she can't. 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:13.600 Your job is not the man. You know, her job 0:12:13.679 --> 0:12:16.800 is ship though, right that your job is not the schedule. 0:12:16.840 --> 0:12:19.480 You're pussy on his dick along with that. Okay, so 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.480 we know just like the I always say that, Yes, 0:12:22.679 --> 0:12:27.000 the home record is the motherfucker that's in the home. Yes, understood. 0:12:27.320 --> 0:12:30.920 But we all know that your man cannot cheat unless 0:12:30.960 --> 0:12:33.959 there's a bit out here willing to compete, and bitches 0:12:34.120 --> 0:12:37.439 us always willing to compete. Damn right they are. It 0:12:37.480 --> 0:12:41.160 ain't that many niggers out here, it's many. It's scarce, 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:45.040 good man, how many stuffs? Good? Is he really good? 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:49.240 We said, just say, well, pay on paper because he 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:53.880 actually is a fucking slimeball. So the VP wife, she 0:12:54.000 --> 0:12:56.920 got caught up because her heart. Bring heard the conversation 0:12:56.920 --> 0:13:02.240 on the rain, Yeah, get the ships out. I gotta 0:13:02.280 --> 0:13:06.319 watch out for the rain camera, Alexa, all that should 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:10.200 telling on you the room. But like the little vacuum ship, 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:12.760 that's the camera and the you gotta speaker on it. 0:13:13.440 --> 0:13:16.520 So now those things come together like if you order rumba, 0:13:16.600 --> 0:13:18.679 it kind of comes with Alexa, you can get like 0:13:18.720 --> 0:13:22.040 a package. So Alexa, you can say Alexa cut roomball 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:25.000 on or something like that. So Rumba is your eyes, 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:29.160 Alexa is your fucking ears, and the rumor gonna bump 0:13:29.160 --> 0:13:33.920 into your many humping a bit sweeping around his feet. 0:13:34.440 --> 0:13:37.439 But listen, I'm sure that Nia Long's transition to that 0:13:37.600 --> 0:13:46.079 community was easier one with that bitch's help. Yo, I 0:13:46.360 --> 0:13:50.600 I just can't um. Oh goodness, why are you can't 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:53.680 suck somebody else like you? You are? So apparently this 0:13:53.720 --> 0:13:57.880 guy has a white moms. He's by Rachel, so it's like, okay, 0:13:57.880 --> 0:14:00.600 whatever he like in the middle. But just feel like 0:14:00.640 --> 0:14:05.360 when when black men get a certain like position in life, 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:07.640 you you fight to get to this position, right, you 0:14:07.679 --> 0:14:09.560 fight to get Why are you gonna sunk it up 0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:11.800 like that? You know what he's gonna drag you, you know? 0:14:12.080 --> 0:14:14.800 And I also like the articles I'm seeing online about 0:14:14.800 --> 0:14:18.000 the ship with Brett Farvee and how he embezzled millions 0:14:18.000 --> 0:14:20.600 and millions of dollars. I believe this is a cover 0:14:21.240 --> 0:14:23.520 so people not paying attention to that particular story. But 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:26.080 on black social media, you know, we're dragging this ship. 0:14:26.640 --> 0:14:29.840 But this guy. But to me, that's a bigger story 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:33.560 Bret far And they're not talking about it, Nope, not hardly. 0:14:34.680 --> 0:14:37.320 But this man, you know, simply smashing on some bitches. 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.600 Do you you would have thought that it was, you know, 0:14:39.800 --> 0:14:43.760 unconsensual sex. You would think that he took somebody. Yeah, 0:14:44.720 --> 0:14:47.600 these women were willing participants. And I'm I'm trying to 0:14:47.600 --> 0:14:54.560 figure out were they uh suspended? Did they lose their jobs? Right? Oh, 0:14:54.640 --> 0:14:57.200 y'all just gonna rape raap this black man across the 0:14:57.280 --> 0:15:00.400 damn coles for doing ship. All men do. And that's 0:15:00.400 --> 0:15:03.600 why I'm concerned that it's monogamy natural because niggas is 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:06.920 risking their whole everything for a piece of pussy on 0:15:06.960 --> 0:15:10.800 the side. Isn't even natural? Like you risk your whole career, 0:15:10.880 --> 0:15:16.240 your family, everything, it is natural. But I feel like, um, okay, 0:15:16.240 --> 0:15:19.480 so monogamy may not really be natural with Look, let's 0:15:19.480 --> 0:15:20.960 look at and we can have a whole show in 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:23.360 this ship, but let's look at the benefits of being 0:15:23.600 --> 0:15:26.720 in a monogamous relationship. You know, we always look at 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:28.800 the stuff on the outside, But what's the benefits of 0:15:28.800 --> 0:15:31.600 being in a in a in a monogamous relationship like 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:34.560 black people. We talk about wealth building and generational wealth 0:15:34.560 --> 0:15:36.920 and all that. You can't do that without family. You 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:40.440 can't do that without your husband and wife. And you 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.240 know this life y'all building around yourselves for your children 0:15:43.280 --> 0:15:46.040 and their children, like if everybody just out here. But 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:50.560 you can't have all of that without being monogamous, can you? 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:53.520 Though you're spreading yourself, then you have to have a 0:15:53.520 --> 0:15:56.400 lot of I feel like non monogamy is for rich people. 0:15:57.680 --> 0:16:00.600 It's for rich people. We're talking about is rich This 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:04.240 is rich people problems right here we talk about. Yeah, 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.480 but we are broke niggers doing the same ship like 0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:09.520 y'are not. Y'all know these people have generational wealth or 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:12.280 nia long really they have. It's still separate. Yes, she 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:14.840 has a child with him, right, but what she doesn't 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:16.440 get any benefits of something where to happen in a 0:16:16.440 --> 0:16:19.800 relationship because they aren't married, but baby will. Yeah. So 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.360 if you have men out here just dropping seeds off, 0:16:22.440 --> 0:16:23.960 that's what black men like to call and they got 0:16:23.960 --> 0:16:26.960 seeds they dropping every fucking where. You can't build ship 0:16:27.000 --> 0:16:29.000 with that. You spread thin. You don't let your dick 0:16:29.040 --> 0:16:30.640 make a slave out of you, like you can't take 0:16:30.640 --> 0:16:35.160 care of these children off, you know, mentally and physically 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:39.600 and emotionally and financially. If you're not there, you can't 0:16:39.600 --> 0:16:42.120 be there for everybody. So that's why it's like it's 0:16:42.120 --> 0:16:45.640 a plus to be monogamous. It's not a negative. What's 0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:47.360 the next you can you can name the negatives, but 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:51.560 being a no nomino against relationship, but I can name 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:57.080 a negative and being a monogamous so boring, same day 0:16:57.360 --> 0:17:03.640 over and over? Why them, same stroke years? Yeah, you 0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:07.119 can trust that you can getting STD from it though. Yeah, 0:17:08.480 --> 0:17:11.439 I feel like that that always be looking at them scales. Okay, 0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:15.000 I need that anyway, y'all listen, we got a special 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:18.359 guest on the show today. Right after the break, we 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:22.720 have Susan Spells. She's a special person. You know, a 0:17:22.760 --> 0:17:25.880 lot of us. Come, yeah, let's hear about her. We'll 0:17:25.880 --> 0:17:36.199 be right back. All right, y'all, we're back and we 0:17:36.280 --> 0:17:40.320 have a special guests on today. Her name is Smiths. 0:17:40.320 --> 0:17:45.080 Susan Spells is She is a do lie I do 0:17:45.200 --> 0:17:52.320 love you do. I'm doing good, Cory good good. I 0:17:52.359 --> 0:18:01.480 couldn't wait to say that. Shut up me? Hey so 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:07.320 then hey, j alright, So the reason why I specifically 0:18:07.359 --> 0:18:09.880 wanted to bring a do law on is because I've 0:18:09.920 --> 0:18:13.679 just been seeing so much information spreading about black women 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.720 dying at childbirth and we're not getting the same care 0:18:16.960 --> 0:18:22.040 in hospitals that you know, our white counterparts do when 0:18:22.200 --> 0:18:25.760 it comes to giving birth. So I wanted to speak 0:18:25.760 --> 0:18:29.520 to someone who uh is a doulah and a birthing 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:32.440 person to get some more information for us and our 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:37.000 listeners about what that looks like outside of traditional hospitals. 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:39.680 So first let me ask you this, how how did 0:18:39.720 --> 0:18:44.840 you decide that you wanted to get into this particular industry. Well, 0:18:44.960 --> 0:18:48.720 I was, um a preschool teacher at first. UM. I 0:18:48.760 --> 0:18:52.040 was in college for nursing school. I always knew I 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:54.760 wanted to be around kids babies, So I was in 0:18:54.880 --> 0:18:58.440 school for nursing UM and then I was like, I'm 0:18:58.440 --> 0:18:59.960 just gonna take a break. So I took a break 0:19:00.040 --> 0:19:03.200 and I started working as a preschool teacher. And from 0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:06.000 there it was just like, okay, this is something I 0:19:06.080 --> 0:19:10.000 have something. Um My coworkers would say, oh girl, these 0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:12.920 kids be acting know when I'm here, but when you're here, 0:19:13.359 --> 0:19:15.600 they don't be acting like this. It must be something 0:19:15.600 --> 0:19:18.840 about you, something about your any judity, something Yes, and 0:19:18.880 --> 0:19:21.840 then once I was like, okay, that's that's good. Then 0:19:21.880 --> 0:19:24.840 the parents started to notice and they started to show 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:28.000 their appreciation. UM. Their kids would call me mom and 0:19:28.040 --> 0:19:30.639 they're like, UM, you know how kids would cry to 0:19:30.680 --> 0:19:32.760 go into their care. Their kids wasn't doing that, they 0:19:32.800 --> 0:19:35.200 wanted to come. And then I was just something went 0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:36.959 inside of me. I was like, Okay, what can I 0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:40.280 do that I can have this experience from the start, 0:19:40.440 --> 0:19:44.359 like from the making, supporting these parents, supporting them through 0:19:44.960 --> 0:19:50.720 UM pregnancy, UM childbirds, and even with help raising the children. UM. 0:19:50.760 --> 0:19:53.360 So I started looking into things and I came across 0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:57.159 the word do with UM. Just like everybody else, I 0:19:57.200 --> 0:19:59.919 didn't know what that was. So I just started to 0:20:00.040 --> 0:20:03.800 look more into it. And around that time, UM, a 0:20:03.840 --> 0:20:07.040 big story had came out where a woman had died 0:20:07.080 --> 0:20:11.600 in childbirth and her husband was advocating for her and 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:15.919 UM starting up organizations and things like that. UM. So 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:18.240 that really maybe get into It's like, well, why are 0:20:18.240 --> 0:20:21.440 we dying? You know? Why are we three to four 0:20:21.480 --> 0:20:24.320 times more likely to die than the white our white 0:20:24.359 --> 0:20:28.320 kind of counterparts. UM. And once I started looking into 0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:30.760 that and digging into that, that made me realize, Okay, 0:20:30.840 --> 0:20:33.760 this is something I need to do, especially at I 0:20:33.920 --> 0:20:37.399 was only twenty one two at the time, so I 0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:39.440 was like, this is definitely something I need to do 0:20:39.760 --> 0:20:43.119 for my generation, um, for when I have children, for 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:46.360 my sister, for my cousins, you know, and that's really 0:20:46.359 --> 0:20:50.160 what got me started. So, you know, for our listeners 0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:52.560 who don't know exactly what a doula is, and you 0:20:52.640 --> 0:20:54.600 kind of touched on a little bit, but tell us 0:20:54.640 --> 0:20:58.359 exactly what a doula is and what what uh a 0:20:58.440 --> 0:21:04.240 pregnant mother could expect. So by Google definition, a dula 0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:10.600 is like a trained professional who provides support during pregnancy, UM, childbirths, 0:21:10.720 --> 0:21:14.879 the postparting period. They educate you, they advocate for you, 0:21:15.080 --> 0:21:19.240 motivate you. UM. But as for me a dula and 0:21:19.240 --> 0:21:23.360 how I am as a dua, UM, I'm a therapist. 0:21:23.640 --> 0:21:27.800 I'm a counselor. UM. Sometimes with my mom's from the 0:21:27.880 --> 0:21:30.080 moment they pee on the stick, so I'm working with 0:21:30.160 --> 0:21:34.120 them for thirty plus weeks on end um. I'm they're 0:21:34.520 --> 0:21:37.760 supporting their other children. I'm supporting them through every life 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:42.440 change that happens during pregnancy. I'm supporting and educating them 0:21:42.640 --> 0:21:46.320 on things that the doctor may not act or supporting 0:21:46.320 --> 0:21:50.000 them with giving them resources to midwives, UM, so that 0:21:50.040 --> 0:21:52.240 they can achieve home works if they wanted to birth 0:21:52.280 --> 0:21:57.040 outside of the hospital. UM. I give them so much 0:21:57.119 --> 0:22:00.120 love and so much support and just cater to them 0:22:00.160 --> 0:22:05.439 throughout their whole experience, even after in the postparting period. 0:22:07.280 --> 0:22:09.639 So all right, you said, um, with midwives, what's the 0:22:09.680 --> 0:22:12.440 difference between a do luck and a midwife? Is there 0:22:12.480 --> 0:22:16.040 a difference there? There is? So a mid wife would 0:22:16.080 --> 0:22:18.040 kind of be like your OBI. So when you go 0:22:18.119 --> 0:22:20.639 to the hospital and they would be your delivery doctor. 0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:24.000 That's exactly what you're obi is I mean? But I'm sorry, 0:22:24.119 --> 0:22:27.520 that's exactly what your mid wife is. So your mind wife. 0:22:27.560 --> 0:22:30.840 They still will do pre NATO visits with you. They'll 0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:35.160 like check your yearine, check the baby's position, different things 0:22:35.200 --> 0:22:38.639 like that. So they are going to be your medical provider. 0:22:39.040 --> 0:22:42.159 They're going to be there too, uh, make sure that 0:22:42.240 --> 0:22:45.399 your baby is healthy, different things like that. Versus your 0:22:45.480 --> 0:22:50.440 DUA is your support there, your labor companion. Uh, there's 0:22:50.440 --> 0:22:53.160 somebody that works with you on the ins and out 0:22:53.520 --> 0:22:57.120 and when you need some support At two am, Hey, 0:22:57.200 --> 0:22:59.760 I'm having this pain, I'm having this thing and I 0:22:59.800 --> 0:23:01.920 don't just want to rush to the hospital for them 0:23:01.920 --> 0:23:04.359 to turn me around. What are some things I can do? 0:23:04.800 --> 0:23:07.840 Um Or I'm just not happy right now in pregnancy 0:23:07.880 --> 0:23:12.720 and I just need to vent. That's what that do is. Therefore, Okay, 0:23:13.040 --> 0:23:15.120 I think a lot of times people think about when 0:23:15.119 --> 0:23:18.320 they think about home birth, they automatically think doulah, Right, 0:23:18.640 --> 0:23:20.480 But how important is it for you to have a 0:23:20.560 --> 0:23:23.560 doula and a midwife if you plan on doing a 0:23:23.600 --> 0:23:27.280 home birth. Very important, It's very important, and and it 0:23:27.320 --> 0:23:29.560 can it can be done. It can be done without 0:23:29.560 --> 0:23:33.480 a midwife, um. But the importance of having that midwife 0:23:33.840 --> 0:23:37.120 is to make sure that if anything goes left, you 0:23:37.160 --> 0:23:40.480 are in a safe space and you have somebody that's 0:23:40.560 --> 0:23:44.120 knowledgeable that can help you out in a medical way, 0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:48.359 UM safer instance, if baby comes out and baby is 0:23:48.400 --> 0:23:51.720