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Speaker 1: Real talk. A lot of people are sitting on millions

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Speaker 1: of dollars right now if they would just sell their

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Speaker 1: grandma's house. Yeah, but what about the sentimental value attached?

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Speaker 1: Which one weighs more the one that pays more bills

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Speaker 1: the coins m cash out. Y'all. Hey, I'm Cadine and

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Speaker 1: we're the Ellises. You may know us from posting funny

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Speaker 1: videos with our boys and reading each other publicly as

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Speaker 1: a form of therapy. Wait, I'll make you need therby

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Speaker 1: most days. Wow. And one more important thing to mention,

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Speaker 1: we're married. We are. We created this podcast to open

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Speaker 1: dialogue about some of life's most taboo topics, things most

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Speaker 1: folks don't want to talk about. Do the lens of

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Speaker 1: them on len You're married couple. Dead adds is the

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Speaker 1: term that we say every day. So when we say

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Speaker 1: dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth, the whole truth,

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Speaker 1: and nothing but the truth. We're about to take pillows

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Speaker 1: off to our whole new level. Dead ass starts right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take you all back to two thousand and seventeen, No,

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Speaker 1: two thousand and eighteen. This is when you and I

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Speaker 1: were trying to make the decision of whether or not

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Speaker 1: we were going to move to l A or not.

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Speaker 1: And we were working a lot, working a lot, making

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Speaker 1: a lot of money at this point in the cash

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Speaker 1: coming in from the gym business and doing social media

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Speaker 1: and doing events and things like that, also doing makeup.

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Speaker 1: But we needed capital because we were like, listen, if

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Speaker 1: we were going to relocate from New York to l A.

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Speaker 1: The gym business at that time was a large part

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Speaker 1: of how we made money, so we would need some

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Speaker 1: time to move over. I said, what's the best way

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Speaker 1: for me to get some capital? In two thousand and seven,

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Speaker 1: I purchased my grandparents house because my grandparents needed to

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Speaker 1: move from South Carolina to New York. No from they

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Speaker 1: need to move from Tennessee to South Carolina. And at

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Speaker 1: the time Morristown, Tennessee. It's you know that this was

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Speaker 1: right before the economic crisis. The recession happened in two

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Speaker 1: thousand and nine, but there weren't a lot of um

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Speaker 1: plants and stuff open at that time there so the

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Speaker 1: economy renouncing, no one was purchasing property in the area.

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Speaker 1: So my grandparents were looking to move to South Carolina

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Speaker 1: to be closer to their siblings, and it was like

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Speaker 1: all right, well, let's keep the house in the family.

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Speaker 1: I was playing in the NFL at the time, so

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Speaker 1: I was like, all right, let me just buy this

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Speaker 1: house to work state in the family is gonna be

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Speaker 1: like a family airline. I'll just pay off. I'll pay

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Speaker 1: off the property in the next couple of years, in

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Speaker 1: the next next couple of contracts, whatever. That was my

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Speaker 1: thought process two thousand and seven. Then two thousand and eight,

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Speaker 1: I purchased a home for us to live in because

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Speaker 1: we were living in Michigan and we wanted the tax

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Speaker 1: right off, so we wanted to get a residency in

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Speaker 1: Michigan rather than having one in New York because the

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Speaker 1: New York Texas was ridiculous. So I own two properties.

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Speaker 1: Let's go back to two thousand and eighteen. Now we

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Speaker 1: were thinking about moving into l A. How do we

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Speaker 1: get capital? And I was like, well, I own two

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Speaker 1: properties that have equity. So at first it was like,

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Speaker 1: do I sell my grandparents house to get the equity

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Speaker 1: out so I could have a little space to move

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Speaker 1: or do a hold on to it so it could

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Speaker 1: be a family heirloom. And I was like, no, one

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Speaker 1: is going to go back to Morristown. Tennessee to live there, right,

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Speaker 1: I was paying all of the times that there was

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Speaker 1: no tenants in there. I was paying the mortgage I

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Speaker 1: was paying for when the boiler had to be fixed,

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Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, I think, I'm a

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Speaker 1: cashing on this equity, used that to put in my banks,

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Speaker 1: and then when we relocated, at least I had a

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Speaker 1: couple of months to make sure that I can get

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Speaker 1: my feet underneath me. And that's exactly what can I did.

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Speaker 1: We sold both properties. We had a good amount of equity,

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Speaker 1: and when we made that jump to l A, we

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Speaker 1: knew we were sitting on at least eight months of rent,

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Speaker 1: so that it was like, yo, I got eight months

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Speaker 1: to figure out how I'm going to duplicate that revenue

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Speaker 1: that I lost in the gym business in New York,

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Speaker 1: and we were gonna make it work. It was all

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Speaker 1: worth it because our dreams were in l A, and

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Speaker 1: the minute we moved to l A, our whole life changed.

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Speaker 1: So imagine if I never sold my grandparents house to

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Speaker 1: move to l A, we'd probably still be in another department.

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Speaker 1: Nothing like God's perfect timing. Dead ass doom, doom, doom, doom,

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Speaker 1: doom Do do do do do Do do doom? A room

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Speaker 1: is still a room even nothing there but glue, and

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Speaker 1: the house is not at home when there's no one

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Speaker 1: there to do my baby, to hold your time, and

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Speaker 1: no one to kiss good not Oh yeah, that's definitely

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Speaker 1: not my octave. But hey, we made the work, you'll

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Speaker 1: get it. The house is not at home. I don't

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Speaker 1: think there's an octave that can hold Luther that he

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Speaker 1: did his own He did his own thing. But I

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Speaker 1: want to know are you gonna be? Are you gonna be?

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Speaker 1: Said you're gonna be in love? Women? Where? Where? Well? Where?

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Speaker 1: That's my favorite part. I love that feeling love recipes, Luther.

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Speaker 1: Let me tell you listen, I think we should take

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Speaker 1: a break, let me go see what my other favorite

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Speaker 1: Luca songs are in here, come back, and then we'll

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Speaker 1: jump into selling grandma's house. All right, so we're back.

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Speaker 1: Let's let's let's just kind of walk people. Let's unpack

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Speaker 1: this whole process here. That's a debate. I think a

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Speaker 1: lot of families have. You know, you're sitting on this

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Speaker 1: property that has been in the family for years, um

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Speaker 1: that you know grandma, great grandma, grandpa. They worked really,

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Speaker 1: really hard, extreme to obtain. So so there was there

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Speaker 1: was a lot that went into this story process. And

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of my family history with property that

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Speaker 1: I want to kind of unpack. Right first and foremost,

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Speaker 1: my family comes from a line of Southern blacks who

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Speaker 1: owned property. My grandmother's father was he was a sharecropper

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Speaker 1: and he was one of the few blacks. He was

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Speaker 1: black and um Native American. I believe this is Nani Nana's.

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Speaker 1: His mom and dad are from um Indigenous people descent.

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Speaker 1: I don't know the descended from the indigenous people. And

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Speaker 1: what people don't know is that the indigenous people had

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Speaker 1: property in America, but they also owned slaves. So my

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Speaker 1: grandmother and grandfather from our Orangeburg, South Carolina. And if

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Speaker 1: you look at my grandmother's family, they're really really fair

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Speaker 1: skinned people, right, some of them are really really fair

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Speaker 1: skinned people. Some have that like brownish olive complexion is

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Speaker 1: because of the indigenous people's side, and I think some

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Speaker 1: Germans in there. But her family came from money. Her

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Speaker 1: dad drove a Cadillac, he owned property, he had sure,

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Speaker 1: he was a share cropper, you know. And I remember

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Speaker 1: going down south and seeing the big house they used

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Speaker 1: to call the Big house. That was grand Day's house.

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Speaker 1: That was the big house. And when we had family

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Speaker 1: and unions, we'd over go to the Big House and

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Speaker 1: to be all of the family would be there, all

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Speaker 1: the cousins would sleep, they're all way up until the attic.

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Speaker 1: So for me, having a property that the family can

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Speaker 1: come by and we could all do like family unions

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Speaker 1: and stuff always meant a lot to me. Remember when

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Speaker 1: you went to my family, my my grandparents fifty at

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Speaker 1: the anniversary and we all stayed in that house, equipped

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Speaker 1: with the fried chicken legs wrapped in the bread, all

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Speaker 1: the snacks, the sweet tea shoutout, shout out to Orangebrook,

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Speaker 1: South Carolina. But um, so it was always ingrained in

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Speaker 1: me to own property. You know. My grandfather, my grandmother's husband,

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Speaker 1: my grandfather, he owned property, so he and his is

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Speaker 1: a funny story too, my parents stayed in the house

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Speaker 1: when Troy Avenue and Flatbush. My grandfather had bought the

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Speaker 1: property for twenty dollars and my my dad was still

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Speaker 1: living here in Brooklyn, and he was just like, hey, Troy,

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Speaker 1: you know you want to stay in this house. You know,

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Speaker 1: there was a mortgage on it was like two hundred

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Speaker 1: dollars at the time. Right, my father asked my mom,

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Speaker 1: I remember this story, Hey, Karen, you want to stay here?

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Speaker 1: It was like a two family house, had a bunch

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Speaker 1: of rooms stuff like. She's like, no, it's too big.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to stay there. So my father like

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Speaker 1: kind of like kind of like me and you with

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Speaker 1: the house right in the group. So they went and

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Speaker 1: stayed in an apartment in Flatbush and let my grandfather

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Speaker 1: sell the house. He sold the house and then bought

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Speaker 1: the house in Tennessee. Those houses on Troy Avening are

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Speaker 1: now worth seven figures. Just I just want to put

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Speaker 1: that out there. A brick to family house in Flatbush

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Speaker 1: from Troy Avenue there was a worth at least a million,

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Speaker 1: three million, four right now. But yeah, you dropped the bag,

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Speaker 1: had a moment dropped the bag to But I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get to that though. I'm gonna get to I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: get to that though. But um so, it was always

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Speaker 1: a great to me their own property. So when I

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Speaker 1: bought the house in Tennessee, that was the house that

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Speaker 1: me and my cousins always went to in the summertime.

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Speaker 1: We have family reunions at the house. When my grandparents

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Speaker 1: had the at the anniversary. That's the first time you

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Speaker 1: ever stayed in the house in Tennessee was that house.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, I'm just gonna keep this house

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Speaker 1: that I can take my kids to this house and

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Speaker 1: I can show them where your dad used to stay

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Speaker 1: in your grandparents owners and your your your grandparents lived

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Speaker 1: here with the only black family in this cold stack

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Speaker 1: in Morristown, Tennessee in the seventies, like it was, it

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Speaker 1: meant a lot to me. And now we get to

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Speaker 1: the choices of us to saying what are we gonna

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Speaker 1: do to get to l A and me owning the

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Speaker 1: house and the house having some equity in it, and

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Speaker 1: then buying the house in Michigan. I purchased that home

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Speaker 1: because you and I well, I wanted to prove to

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Speaker 1: you at the time that there was a future for us.

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Speaker 1: And I also wanted to get residency in Michigan because

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Speaker 1: the taxes in New York at that time, because I

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Speaker 1: was playing in so many different states, was ridiculous. So

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Speaker 1: we purchased those house. That goes into the decision could

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Speaker 1: deem made and I don't think we ever touched on this.

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Speaker 1: When I asked a dean if she wanted to buy

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Speaker 1: a house in New York, Oh or she wanted to

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Speaker 1: get married and have a big wedding. Part of what

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Speaker 1: her decision was to having a big wedding is that

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Speaker 1: we already owned the two properties. They weren't the properties

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Speaker 1: that we lived in. They were investment properties, but we

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Speaker 1: owned two properties. That was my mindset. I get it.

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Speaker 1: You're just like, oh, of course you just wanted the

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Speaker 1: big wedding just because. And I'm like, well, we have

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Speaker 1: two homes. If we needed to, we can tell them

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Speaker 1: and buy something else. So I and I and I

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Speaker 1: get that. I and I get that. But my thought

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Speaker 1: process at the time was to buy a house in

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Speaker 1: an area that was pre gentrification so that we could

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Speaker 1: get a huge amount of equity. At that time, we

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Speaker 1: weren't gonna get that in those other two properties. So

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Speaker 1: when we were staying in the apartment and it was

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Speaker 1: time for us to make a leap forward, it was like,

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Speaker 1: now was the time to use what my grandparents had

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Speaker 1: worked so hard for, and that was the equity. And

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Speaker 1: here's the way I want you guys to think about it.

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Speaker 1: I never wanted to sell my grandparents house. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to hold on to it, rent it out until I

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Speaker 1: was able to just completely afford it and then not

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Speaker 1: rent it out and have be a family in Loom

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Speaker 1: where we travel and we take the kids and we say,

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Speaker 1: you can actually walk in the places that your your

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Speaker 1: dad walked when he was a little kid. But also

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Speaker 1: it was on an acre and a half of land,

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Speaker 1: and I wanted to be able to show them ownership,

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Speaker 1: like black ownership. That was my ultimate intention. But then

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Speaker 1: I started to think a little bit more broadly and say,

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Speaker 1: I can hold onto this house and show my kids

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Speaker 1: this house, or I can use the equity from this

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Speaker 1: house to create a grander life for my kids and

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Speaker 1: show them the world. So what's more important being able

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Speaker 1: to show them the house or show them the world?

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Speaker 1: And you and I chose to show them the world

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Speaker 1: because we didn't just sell that house. We also sold

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Speaker 1: the house in Michigan, which in my mind, like I said,

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Speaker 1: this is my first property that I bought, that was

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Speaker 1: this mine, that was ours to live in. I wanted

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Speaker 1: to be able to hold onto it to say, hey, boys,

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Speaker 1: this is where your dad and mom live. This is

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Speaker 1: the first home they bought. But we sold it and

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Speaker 1: we kind of put aside all of the you know,

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Speaker 1: family heirloom, sentimental value things in order to be able

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Speaker 1: to find real value and give them something that they

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Speaker 1: didn't have. And it worked out in our favor. You know,

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Speaker 1: we had enough equity to put money in the bank

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Speaker 1: that said we were gonna last. And this is the

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Speaker 1: way I always do my finances. If I'm going to

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Speaker 1: make a decision, I'm going to make a decision that

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Speaker 1: puts us in the situation that there's not there's no

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Speaker 1: stress for k and myself. So when we decided that

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Speaker 1: we were going to move to l A, it wasn't

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Speaker 1: about just moving, because you hear some of these stories

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Speaker 1: where I moved to l A with no nothing but

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Speaker 1: change in my pocket, and that uncomfortable feeling made me

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Speaker 1: work hard. Right, I'm a hard work anyway. I don't

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Speaker 1: want my family to be uncomfortable. So that equity for

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Speaker 1: us was to give us at least six to eight

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Speaker 1: months of rent so that we could be in California

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Speaker 1: and be comfortable. So it's like I almost have a year,

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Speaker 1: a whole year to get on my feet to figure

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Speaker 1: out that additional revenue. And we could have been uncomfortable

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Speaker 1: if we're just you and I but when you're moving

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Speaker 1: with children, especially across country, it's like you gotta make

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Speaker 1: sure that you had that little bit of cushion rooms.

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Speaker 1: So yeah, So to me, selling the house was a

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Speaker 1: way for me to use that equity to to give

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Speaker 1: my parents my family a better opportunity moving forward. And

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Speaker 1: it worked out. You know, when we moved to l

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Speaker 1: a way more opportunities opened up, We made way more

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Speaker 1: money and ultimately ended up with us purchasing this home

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Speaker 1: that we're living in now. So if you think about it,

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Speaker 1: holding onto that heirloom wouldn't have helped us because we've

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Speaker 1: just still been renting in New York and paying the

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Speaker 1: mortgages on to other properties. Instead, I sold it about

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Speaker 1: the equity and move forward. And now where it was atter,

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Speaker 1: did your fault get your parents, particularly I guess your

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Speaker 1: dad or any of your dad's side of family, They

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Speaker 1: were okay once we sold the house, right, there was

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Speaker 1: no because sometimes that's a family beef. Is like to

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Speaker 1: sell the house and I sell the house, Usually you

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Speaker 1: see a split somebody like we should sell it to

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Speaker 1: get the benefit of the property and the money. But

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Speaker 1: this is typically what this is typically what happens with

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Speaker 1: beafs right. People with no money always want to tell

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Speaker 1: people who are investing all the money into it how

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Speaker 1: they should spend it. I wasn't willing to do that.

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Speaker 1: And and the bottom line is, if you're not willing

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Speaker 1: to help into the investment of the family, you should

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Speaker 1: have no say. And what we do in a lot

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Speaker 1: of our families nowadays is we just give people sentimental equity,

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Speaker 1: which means it's, oh, because you're the oldest, oh, or

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Speaker 1: because you're one of the cousins, you have a say.

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Speaker 1: But when all of the finances falls on one person,

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Speaker 1: that person has the most say because that person is

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Speaker 1: required to making sure that the building is maintained. And

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Speaker 1: that's that's what happens that I think is so unfair.

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Speaker 1: But my family that we don't operate like that. My

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Speaker 1: my aunt's, my uncle's, my my father was just like,

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Speaker 1: if it's a burden, is that house is a burden

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Speaker 1: for you, you gotta do it for your family. And

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Speaker 1: I think that's what's helped my family prosper financially is

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Speaker 1: because they don't. No one ever holds someone back for

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Speaker 1: their own personal gain. It's like, Okay, if this can

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Speaker 1: move us forward, then we all have to be in agreement,

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Speaker 1: or if this is a burden to one person in particular,

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Speaker 1: we can't allow this entity to be a burden to

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Speaker 1: one person while we sit back so that she's willing

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Speaker 1: to contribute and find a way to divise a plan

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Speaker 1: to make it a better situation or a problem solved. Absolutely,

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Speaker 1: And that's one thing I say about my my Well,

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Speaker 1: that side of the family is my father's side of

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Speaker 1: the family. But my grandfather was big on teaching financial

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Speaker 1: acumen well and well and instilling instilling some sort of

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00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,160
Speaker 1: financial acumen into all of his children. So when it

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00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:49,000
Speaker 1: was time to have these conversations, it went a lot

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Speaker 1: smoother than you hear in other families because a lot

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Speaker 1: of times there's no one in charge who lays down

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Speaker 1: the law about what it's supposed to happen. Most people

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Speaker 1: don't have wills, you know. Those people don't have trust,

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Speaker 1: so when someone dies unexpectedly not everyone else is left

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Speaker 1: scrambling to try to figure things out. My my grandfather,

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Speaker 1: God rest his soul, Charles w Ellis, laid things out

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Speaker 1: for his four children so they everyone knew what it was.

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Speaker 1: There wasn't when he passed away. There was no who

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Speaker 1: was getting there it was. He knew what it was

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Speaker 1: and they made things clear. Plus he took care of

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Speaker 1: his family. He always took care of his kids, even

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Speaker 1: in adulthood. So when it was time for me to

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Speaker 1: make the decision, all if his children was like, do

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Speaker 1: what you have to do for your family, Like, don't

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Speaker 1: let what happened in our generation or things that have

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Speaker 1: happened trickle down. That's not fair. All of my aunt's

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Speaker 1: and uncles are the same way. They don't ever like

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Speaker 1: we're gonna hold this one back because no, you got

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Speaker 1: to move forward. My my family would rather go without

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Speaker 1: then asked me to hold onto something that wasn't beneficial

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Speaker 1: to our family. And your family is the same way.

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Speaker 1: And I think that's another reason why we've been able

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Speaker 1: to prosper so much, because we come from families that

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Speaker 1: don't have a selfish bone in their body. And I

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00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,159
Speaker 1: think that in large part is why a lot of

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00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,280
Speaker 1: family struggle because because you know, when it's time to

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00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:09,240
Speaker 1: sell the house, everybody wants their peace, but no one

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00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:11,960
Speaker 1: was there for the upkeep and maintenance. And that happens

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00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:13,719
Speaker 1: to a lot of families. That does happened a lot,

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Speaker 1: and they had me thinking when you mentioned the will,

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00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:18,480
Speaker 1: I'm just like, that's something everyone should have, regardless of age.

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00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:22,000
Speaker 1: You gotta have that because if not that untimely death

341
00:18:22,119 --> 00:18:26,560
Speaker 1: or those unfortunate circumstances and having to deal with grief alone,

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00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 1: then you're not dealing with all the extra ship that

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00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,000
Speaker 1: comes along with it. And they're there are difficult. Those

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00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:34,080
Speaker 1: are difficult conversations to have. When you get to a

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00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,600
Speaker 1: certain age and now all of your friends are in

346
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:41,160
Speaker 1: this thirties age, we start to talk about different things. Right,

347
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:46,240
Speaker 1: the conversations have now navigated from um, the hottest check

348
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,720
Speaker 1: and who's winning the game too, how's your son doing

349
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Speaker 1: in sports, how's your daughter doing in sports? Or how's

350
00:18:52,760 --> 00:18:55,240
Speaker 1: your mom and dad dealing with tones? So so now

351
00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,680
Speaker 1: these conversations are talking about wills, and these conversations talking

352
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:01,960
Speaker 1: about you know, parents are all Shimmer's and having those conversations,

353
00:19:02,200 --> 00:19:05,439
Speaker 1: do you have insurance a lot of the people in

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00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:09,479
Speaker 1: the generation right above us or two generations before us,

355
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:14,440
Speaker 1: don't have wills in place, don't have insurance. So things

356
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:16,919
Speaker 1: are happening, and now my my buddies are just like

357
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:19,760
Speaker 1: you know, their first our generation has been doing really well.

358
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Speaker 1: Most of us are the first generation to graduate college

359
00:19:23,920 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 1: have high paying six figure jobs. So a lot of

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00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 1: the family comes to my friend group to ask for

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00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:34,840
Speaker 1: the advice, but then when they try to give the advice,

362
00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:38,119
Speaker 1: it's always met with vitriol, you know. For example, one

363
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 1: of my buddies had his uncle's house was pretty much

364
00:19:41,560 --> 00:19:44,320
Speaker 1: snatched from underneath them. He had a house in I

365
00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: think it was Philadelphia, fully paid off. It was him

366
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,160
Speaker 1: and his sons. His sons weren't doing as well as

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00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:54,720
Speaker 1: my buddy, and his son's you know, ended up, you know,

368
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,320
Speaker 1: leaving it. But they come stay in the house, but

369
00:19:57,359 --> 00:20:00,680
Speaker 1: they don't contribute at all. And the although were starting

370
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:04,280
Speaker 1: to go through dementia, and no one was paying the

371
00:20:04,320 --> 00:20:07,920
Speaker 1: water bills, no one was paying the city taxes, and

372
00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 1: they got a letter on the door for eviction, and

373
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:13,719
Speaker 1: they're like, you can't evictus was our own We own

374
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,639
Speaker 1: our house. The father hadn't paid the water bill or

375
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:19,800
Speaker 1: the state taxes, and I think it was about three

376
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,840
Speaker 1: years or the city taxes three years. And people are

377
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:26,600
Speaker 1: going into these areas and buying the deeds because there's

378
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,480
Speaker 1: leans on the property. Someone brought the deed for the

379
00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,040
Speaker 1: remaining balance of what they owed in the city taxes

380
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,560
Speaker 1: because there was no mortgage on the house. Since there

381
00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:37,440
Speaker 1: was no mortgage on the house and there was no

382
00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,640
Speaker 1: bank to be paid. Now the new person who paid

383
00:20:40,680 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 1: for the lean to be removed on the property, so

384
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 1: they had to go to probate court to fight, which

385
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:49,880
Speaker 1: costs more money. And when he was telling his cousins

386
00:20:49,920 --> 00:20:52,680
Speaker 1: at the time, like, hey, if you guys are looking

387
00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:54,359
Speaker 1: for capitals, nothing for you to do. You need to

388
00:20:54,359 --> 00:20:55,960
Speaker 1: at least take care of the house if you don't

389
00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,080
Speaker 1: want to sell it. But he was telling them like, hey,

390
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,840
Speaker 1: your your dad has hundreds of thousands worth of equity

391
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:05,200
Speaker 1: in this house that if you want to do better

392
00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,120
Speaker 1: for him, even if you sell the home, you put

393
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:10,080
Speaker 1: him in a home or put him get it, sell

394
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:12,200
Speaker 1: a home, put him in a place where he can

395
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,760
Speaker 1: get around the clock, nurse care. You guys, invest in

396
00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:18,480
Speaker 1: some things that you know increase your your worth of

397
00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,200
Speaker 1: what you can make. But no one wanted to listen

398
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:23,359
Speaker 1: to him. Now the house it's gone, and now to

399
00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:26,200
Speaker 1: like save us, and he's just like, I've been trying

400
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:30,760
Speaker 1: to tell you what a lot of people. But when

401
00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,400
Speaker 1: he asked me, why didn't you want to sell the house?

402
00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,560
Speaker 1: They're like, well, it was dad's house. You know, we

403
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,040
Speaker 1: didn't want to you know, we didn't want to sell

404
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,480
Speaker 1: the house, I said, But there was no upkeep on

405
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:40,959
Speaker 1: the house. The house was terrible, the grass was never cut.

406
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 1: Um as he got older, he started to hoard things,

407
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,000
Speaker 1: so it became a hordess house. Had nothing but junk

408
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,639
Speaker 1: in the house. So you let him run the house ragged,

409
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,480
Speaker 1: you know, drive down the property value, let someone come

410
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:59,680
Speaker 1: get it for next to nothing. Now you walk away

411
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:02,479
Speaker 1: with nothing thing yep yep. And they, you know a

412
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 1: lot of them said the same things that it is, like, well,

413
00:22:04,119 --> 00:22:05,919
Speaker 1: we didn't know what we could do with the house.

414
00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,920
Speaker 1: Which is what we want to talk to you guys

415
00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: about today. For sure. Well, the racial wealth gap in

416
00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:14,840
Speaker 1: America is still growing. It's growing wider and wider. In fact,

417
00:22:14,880 --> 00:22:18,760
Speaker 1: some studies show that in thirty years, well for black

418
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 1: families will be at zero, not at all. Nothing. And

419
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,840
Speaker 1: with this knowledge and a desire to build wealth for

420
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:28,320
Speaker 1: our children and future generations, which I think is very

421
00:22:28,840 --> 00:22:31,880
Speaker 1: a big focus. I think for our generations millennials um,

422
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:34,960
Speaker 1: when parents or grandparents pass on and leave their properties behind,

423
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 1: the decision to keep ourselves maybe confusing and a little

424
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 1: bit um devices divisive for the families. So it's like,

425
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:45,040
Speaker 1: do you sell and split the money amongst the living

426
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:47,639
Speaker 1: or do you keep it and let those family members

427
00:22:47,640 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 1: who always seem to be in need live in the house.

428
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:54,600
Speaker 1: You know, mess up granny's old plastic covered furniture. You

429
00:22:54,600 --> 00:22:57,880
Speaker 1: know she still got the plastic on that joint. Um,

430
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:00,719
Speaker 1: what are the things that you to really consider before selling?

431
00:23:00,800 --> 00:23:03,399
Speaker 1: So we're going to weigh out the options of selling

432
00:23:03,520 --> 00:23:06,320
Speaker 1: versus keeping. Um, Well, we also have some stats that

433
00:23:06,359 --> 00:23:08,560
Speaker 1: we can get into before we go there, Let's discuss

434
00:23:08,640 --> 00:23:12,399
Speaker 1: why the racial wealth gap is getting larger. Right, most

435
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,600
Speaker 1: people in this country, white Americans who have any bit

436
00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:20,200
Speaker 1: of wealth or generational wealth, majority of them got their

437
00:23:20,240 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 1: wealth from land that was passed down during slavery, to

438
00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:28,200
Speaker 1: be honest, right, and during reconstruction. That's where the majority

439
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:30,960
Speaker 1: of them got their land. When FDR created the New Deal,

440
00:23:31,320 --> 00:23:32,879
Speaker 1: and they decided that they were going to help the

441
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,640
Speaker 1: housing market, right, that's when they created suburbs and they

442
00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,600
Speaker 1: gave they told contractors this is the government, the actual

443
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 1: federal government gave contractors subsidies to build more houses after

444
00:23:43,720 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 1: the Great Depression. But those subsidies were given to contractors

445
00:23:47,040 --> 00:23:49,720
Speaker 1: who build houses in white neighborhoods and wouldn't allow black

446
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,639
Speaker 1: people to move into those neighborhoods. So what happens is

447
00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:57,080
Speaker 1: black people, right, we're all pushed into ghettos. Once they

448
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 1: were pushed into these areas, they were all of these

449
00:23:59,520 --> 00:24:03,679
Speaker 1: black people push in the areas. They discounted the land,

450
00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:07,440
Speaker 1: didn't give them insurance and told them that their property

451
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:11,199
Speaker 1: wasn't valued as much as white properties. You take that,

452
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 1: and that was in the nineteen twenties. So a hundred

453
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:20,119
Speaker 1: years of them devaluing black properties, um not giving blacks insurance,

454
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 1: on top of burning down black cities that were thriving,

455
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 1: you get a racial wealth gap because now you have

456
00:24:27,440 --> 00:24:31,520
Speaker 1: white families who are gaining money and gaining access to wealth,

457
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:34,160
Speaker 1: who can now go out and buy more property and

458
00:24:34,200 --> 00:24:36,880
Speaker 1: more wealth. And as they buy more property, they'll say, well,

459
00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:38,200
Speaker 1: you know what, you can't own it, but you can

460
00:24:38,240 --> 00:24:41,000
Speaker 1: rent it. So now you have a lot more Black

461
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:44,720
Speaker 1: families who are renting property than owning property because the

462
00:24:44,720 --> 00:24:48,080
Speaker 1: properties that were passed down are given to you know,

463
00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,159
Speaker 1: white people give to their you know, white children, and

464
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,000
Speaker 1: black families. Their properties were burnt down or taken or

465
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,680
Speaker 1: they lost them, or they just lived in ghettos from

466
00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:58,640
Speaker 1: the time they got out of reconstruction and we're trying

467
00:24:58,680 --> 00:25:01,720
Speaker 1: to build through where they redline whether they were redlined,

468
00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:05,080
Speaker 1: and the segregate itself. So over a hundred years, that

469
00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:08,080
Speaker 1: continues to keep the woke got increased. But that also

470
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 1: explains why Black families have such a sentimental value to

471
00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: their properties because they're like, you know, if my grandma

472
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:18,320
Speaker 1: owned this, I can't sell it because we as a

473
00:25:18,359 --> 00:25:22,560
Speaker 1: community don't have property. And that's what I want to

474
00:25:22,560 --> 00:25:25,159
Speaker 1: talk about today, is because just owning a piece of

475
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:28,840
Speaker 1: property and squatting on it is not using the asset

476
00:25:28,920 --> 00:25:32,159
Speaker 1: the way it was supposed to be used, or holding

477
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,760
Speaker 1: onto that asset waiting until said granny and grandpa whoever

478
00:25:36,160 --> 00:25:40,560
Speaker 1: passes away, when there may be opportunities to pull from

479
00:25:40,600 --> 00:25:43,760
Speaker 1: that home while they're there and then purchase another property

480
00:25:43,840 --> 00:25:46,560
Speaker 1: or invest think about someone who wants to start up.

481
00:25:47,680 --> 00:25:49,960
Speaker 1: Those are the times when you can actually say, hey,

482
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 1: let me find out what this is worth, what is

483
00:25:51,960 --> 00:25:54,400
Speaker 1: it appraising for, What can I pull from to then

484
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 1: invest into something to make this grow. Because also we

485
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:59,600
Speaker 1: know that holding onto a property or an investment that's

486
00:25:59,600 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: just not making you any kind of money is also

487
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 1: too to a detriment. But that's that's also the mindset.

488
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,240
Speaker 1: Right for black Americans, the mindset is always to get

489
00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:11,399
Speaker 1: a good job, make sure you get a pension, and

490
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:13,640
Speaker 1: make sure you get your two weeks vacation. And if

491
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 1: you can live a life like that, then you're successful

492
00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: in America, as opposed to thinking, my job is only

493
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: for me to be able to get money to own property,

494
00:26:22,240 --> 00:26:25,679
Speaker 1: to then use that property to get more property. This

495
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 1: way I don't have to work. Working is only part

496
00:26:28,760 --> 00:26:32,480
Speaker 1: of the American dream. Working is not the full American dream.

497
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:35,120
Speaker 1: But you know what, in their defense, there's a scarcity

498
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:39,200
Speaker 1: mentality that they have um probborly generations. To us, we're

499
00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:42,359
Speaker 1: just not having. Sometimes they just want to see the

500
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,000
Speaker 1: absolutely they want to see their money, as in, I

501
00:26:45,119 --> 00:26:48,520
Speaker 1: own this vehicle, don't matter if it's a depreciating asset.

502
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:50,720
Speaker 1: They just want to see that they own it. You're

503
00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:53,919
Speaker 1: not leasting, they're not renting. They own. They want to

504
00:26:53,920 --> 00:26:56,600
Speaker 1: own this home that they live in. Because why I'm

505
00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,040
Speaker 1: not paying rent to anyone. I own this home. I'm

506
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: paying my mortgage, My home is paid off, My bank account.

507
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:04,480
Speaker 1: I have this four oh one K, I have my

508
00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:07,680
Speaker 1: savings account. I can see my dollars and sense here.

509
00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,760
Speaker 1: So that makes sense for me. But in the grand scheme,

510
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:14,240
Speaker 1: is it really making sense if you cannot use those

511
00:27:14,359 --> 00:27:19,200
Speaker 1: assets to then grow the money. You know, So let's

512
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 1: jump into some facts and stats, because you know, we

513
00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,439
Speaker 1: like to know what they're saying. So, the rate of

514
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 1: white home ownership is now while black ownership is points lower.

515
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 1: According to the most recent Census Bureau figures, more than

516
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,240
Speaker 1: half of white families end up with more wealth than

517
00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:44,199
Speaker 1: their parents, while only blacks are able to do the

518
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:46,480
Speaker 1: same thing. And a large part of that comes from

519
00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:49,440
Speaker 1: home ownership. Because if you hone, if you own property

520
00:27:49,480 --> 00:27:53,360
Speaker 1: and you pass property down, the property continues to gain value.

521
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:57,040
Speaker 1: So that's why those the younger generation is valued more

522
00:27:57,240 --> 00:28:00,399
Speaker 1: because they're continuing to not only accrue more property, but

523
00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,280
Speaker 1: the property value goes on. Also, think about this. A

524
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,399
Speaker 1: couple gets married, Okay, you have a black couple, we

525
00:28:07,440 --> 00:28:12,879
Speaker 1: have a white couple. White couples. You know, the bride's

526
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:15,600
Speaker 1: mom and dad they throw the wedding right, they pay

527
00:28:15,680 --> 00:28:19,000
Speaker 1: for the entire thing because that's their daughter. The groom's

528
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: parents down payment for a home, and then they're living

529
00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:26,800
Speaker 1: in a home. A lot of you get from the

530
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:29,800
Speaker 1: wedding and the gifts from people who know, Okay, we

531
00:28:29,840 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: want to help the family. We're going to cover our

532
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:34,480
Speaker 1: head and then give them a little extra to put

533
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,359
Speaker 1: towards whatever it is that they're trying to say. If

534
00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:42,720
Speaker 1: you use our wedding, for example, we have if everybody

535
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:45,240
Speaker 1: brings a hundred dollars to cover their plate, and our

536
00:28:45,280 --> 00:28:47,600
Speaker 1: parents would have covered everything, we would have walked with

537
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 1: dollars on top of a down payment for a home

538
00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:54,400
Speaker 1: which we didn't have, which we didn't. So we're just

539
00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: looking at the white family versus the black family. And typically,

540
00:28:58,840 --> 00:29:02,080
Speaker 1: of course there's anomaly situations. However, for the most part,

541
00:29:02,240 --> 00:29:05,960
Speaker 1: that's how they're starting. They're starting with that little extra edge,

542
00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:08,160
Speaker 1: whereas a black couple may have to be like, all right,

543
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,360
Speaker 1: we're gonna move in together now, we're going to rent

544
00:29:10,400 --> 00:29:12,080
Speaker 1: this space until we can save up enough money for

545
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,760
Speaker 1: a down payment for a home, you know, and also

546
00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:16,320
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to pay off the credit cards that

547
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:18,480
Speaker 1: you used to pay for your wedding because and these

548
00:29:18,480 --> 00:29:21,680
Speaker 1: are not like we don't we always said we generalizations

549
00:29:21,680 --> 00:29:23,480
Speaker 1: are the devil's work. So we're not saying all white

550
00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:25,840
Speaker 1: people go for the all black people. What we're talking

551
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:28,120
Speaker 1: about is why the financial wealth gap is the way

552
00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:31,080
Speaker 1: it is. And we're talking about the majority, the majority

553
00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:34,960
Speaker 1: or even people that we've experienced. That's definitely and when

554
00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,240
Speaker 1: we talk about these experiences, we're not guessing. We're talking

555
00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:41,240
Speaker 1: about stuff that we've seen. So and we both went

556
00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: to we both went to Haustra. So we have friends

557
00:29:44,400 --> 00:29:46,680
Speaker 1: who are white, we are friends who are black. Codein

558
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 1: has done weddings for the past. It was like decades

559
00:29:51,480 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 1: and all of your all of your clients were not

560
00:29:54,920 --> 00:29:56,880
Speaker 1: black and were not white. But you saw how the

561
00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:01,640
Speaker 1: weddings went on both sides, extremely different, and how the

562
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 1: groom and bride were able to walk away with different

563
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:07,760
Speaker 1: things on each side. Whereas I know, especially in our

564
00:30:07,800 --> 00:30:11,880
Speaker 1: in our culture black culture, people sometimes don't even know

565
00:30:11,960 --> 00:30:14,240
Speaker 1: to bring gifts to a wedding. You know, it's just

566
00:30:14,320 --> 00:30:16,720
Speaker 1: let me come celebrate with them. You know, they're going

567
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 1: a good party and they and it's like if you

568
00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:23,000
Speaker 1: don't get invited, you get piste off. But you know,

569
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 1: it's customary that you bring a gift and cover your plate.

570
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:32,720
Speaker 1: That's customary for certain you know, for certain uh cultures.

571
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:34,680
Speaker 1: And I mean it's not all black cultures, because in

572
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:37,160
Speaker 1: African cultures they have huge weddings and the bride and

573
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:40,840
Speaker 1: groom walk away with tons of money so that that

574
00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,720
Speaker 1: money spray. You know, you haven't seen it all doing

575
00:30:45,760 --> 00:30:48,400
Speaker 1: the weddings. You've seen it all. I've seen it all.

576
00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,280
Speaker 1: A good time. Cocktail hours usually my favorite too, I

577
00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:54,880
Speaker 1: will partake um. White families are twice as likely to

578
00:30:54,920 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 1: receive an inheritance as Black families, and that inheritance is

579
00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: nearly three times as much. For families with an inheritance,

580
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:08,040
Speaker 1: median white wealth is seven point five times larger than

581
00:31:08,080 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: for Black families. Comparatively, white families have five point four

582
00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: times more wealth than Black families without an inheritance. Interesting

583
00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 1: for most American families, home equity is their largest asset,

584
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:27,800
Speaker 1: and homeowners are much wealthier than renters. Americans who own

585
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 1: homes in two thousand nineteen had a medium net worth

586
00:31:30,680 --> 00:31:34,640
Speaker 1: of two hundred and fifty five thousand dollars, more than

587
00:31:34,760 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 1: forty times the median net worth of renters, and in

588
00:31:38,040 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: two thousand nineteen, the typical white family had one and

589
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:45,400
Speaker 1: eighty four thousand dollars in assets, while the typical black

590
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 1: family had only twenty three thousand dollars according to an

591
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:54,760
Speaker 1: analysis by the Federal Reserve Bank of St. Louis staggering.

592
00:31:55,440 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 1: But but I mean, if you think about it, it

593
00:31:57,400 --> 00:32:02,680
Speaker 1: makes sense, right when you think about slavery. Slavery is

594
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: a class system. Right, if you make slavery illegal, you

595
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:11,560
Speaker 1: have to create a class system by a different name. Right,

596
00:32:11,640 --> 00:32:16,000
Speaker 1: So we start with gentrification, not that gentrification. We start

597
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: with redlining, right, Then we start with changing laws that

598
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 1: criminalized black people. Exam. And I know this may seem

599
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 1: like it's getting a little bit off topic, but just

600
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 1: human me for a minute. You start with the criminalization

601
00:32:26,720 --> 00:32:30,120
Speaker 1: of black people, right, So once reconstruction happens. We talked

602
00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:33,840
Speaker 1: about this in another podcast. But you have the the

603
00:32:33,920 --> 00:32:35,480
Speaker 1: movie Birth of a Nation that was played in the

604
00:32:35,480 --> 00:32:37,840
Speaker 1: White House, where you have a white man in black

605
00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:40,400
Speaker 1: face who runs around raping white women and the clue

606
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:44,640
Speaker 1: klux Klient comes in and saves America from the big

607
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,560
Speaker 1: bad black man that was just freed and slavery. Right,

608
00:32:47,600 --> 00:32:49,480
Speaker 1: that was a birth of a nation, and that's where

609
00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,560
Speaker 1: a lot of Southern whites got their pride from right,

610
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,200
Speaker 1: this is that's when. So it's like, oh, we have

611
00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 1: to be concerned about free black people. Now. Then you

612
00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,400
Speaker 1: have the Vagrancy Act of eighteen sixty six. Right, The

613
00:33:00,480 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: Vacancy Act of eighteen sixty six pretty much said that

614
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:06,000
Speaker 1: if you can't read, write our own property and you

615
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:09,320
Speaker 1: were homeless, then you were vagrant and that was punishable

616
00:33:09,440 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 1: by life in prison. Who can't read or write our

617
00:33:12,360 --> 00:33:17,160
Speaker 1: own property? Now that they're free slaves, So you have

618
00:33:17,280 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 1: four million, four million black people free. I think about

619
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:22,920
Speaker 1: a million died over the time, of course during the

620
00:33:22,920 --> 00:33:25,720
Speaker 1: Civil War, but you have three million black people free

621
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:27,640
Speaker 1: who couldn't read all right, because you wouldn't let them

622
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 1: read it write, and they didn't own property. So now

623
00:33:29,680 --> 00:33:33,840
Speaker 1: you have walking convicts that you can pretty much say, hey,

624
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,520
Speaker 1: you're homeless, you can't read it write, Sorry, you have

625
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:39,080
Speaker 1: to get into our convict program because now you're a vagrant,

626
00:33:39,280 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 1: and now you know what we can do with you.

627
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:43,080
Speaker 1: We can put you in convict leasing. Convict leasing meant

628
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:46,440
Speaker 1: that all prisoners get to work for the state. As

629
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,720
Speaker 1: long as they are awards of the state, you get

630
00:33:49,760 --> 00:33:53,040
Speaker 1: to work for the state. So pretty much you have

631
00:33:53,160 --> 00:33:57,480
Speaker 1: all of these black people who after being freed, had

632
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,640
Speaker 1: to go through the Vacancy Act of eighteen sixty six

633
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,200
Speaker 1: convict lea seeing those that weren't considered convicts had to

634
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: deal with redlining, and even when they were able to

635
00:34:05,680 --> 00:34:08,840
Speaker 1: build their own cities, they were bombed like Tulsa, Oklahoma,

636
00:34:09,200 --> 00:34:11,440
Speaker 1: and just snatched away from them. And also a lot

637
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:14,799
Speaker 1: of those those houses weren't even given insurance because the

638
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 1: government told insurance company not to ensure black homes. So

639
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,640
Speaker 1: you have a hundred years of this cycle happening, and

640
00:34:22,680 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 1: you have people who have this mindset that as long

641
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,280
Speaker 1: as I can work, make money and pay my rent,

642
00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,800
Speaker 1: I'm living the American dream. But you're paying rent to

643
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 1: who though who? You're paying rent to white families who

644
00:34:35,800 --> 00:34:38,799
Speaker 1: own the properties that you don't have the possibility to own.

645
00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:41,759
Speaker 1: But then black people still aspire to live the happy life.

646
00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:43,479
Speaker 1: So it's like, I want to have a big, huge

647
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,720
Speaker 1: wedding like they have. I'll put it on credit cards.

648
00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,960
Speaker 1: Credit cards. You're paying the money back to banks at

649
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:53,319
Speaker 1: ridiculous interest rates. Right. Oh, in order to be able

650
00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:54,800
Speaker 1: to live this life, I have to go to school

651
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:58,800
Speaker 1: to get an education. Education course what now, anywhere between

652
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 1: a quarter to a half of million dollars for you

653
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 1: to get educated, to get a job that will get

654
00:35:03,520 --> 00:35:07,200
Speaker 1: coming out making forty dollars a year. So you spend

655
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: the most part of your life in debt, trying to

656
00:35:10,840 --> 00:35:14,200
Speaker 1: pay back the banks on credit cards, your banks for

657
00:35:14,239 --> 00:35:17,080
Speaker 1: your student loans, paying rents or your apartment, so you

658
00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 1: don't have a large part of your life with the

659
00:35:19,560 --> 00:35:22,440
Speaker 1: ability to accrue assets, to own property to then pass

660
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,600
Speaker 1: down to your children. Most people who lived who had

661
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,640
Speaker 1: to live through that cycle, die in debt, and you

662
00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:32,839
Speaker 1: know what they passed down to their children, debt. That's

663
00:35:32,880 --> 00:35:36,239
Speaker 1: the truth people, it's it is a system. It is

664
00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:38,960
Speaker 1: not fair, but you have to know how the system

665
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 1: works and not get caught in the system. For example,

666
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,279
Speaker 1: you and I were in that system for a little bit.

667
00:35:44,320 --> 00:35:46,640
Speaker 1: I made it to the NFL, Yes I did. I

668
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,719
Speaker 1: made it to the NFL, but we lost a lot

669
00:35:48,719 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: of money in the stock market and we moved back

670
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:54,160
Speaker 1: to Brooklyn Broke and at the time Kadine and I

671
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 1: had to property that we own, we were renting because

672
00:35:57,120 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 1: when we had the capital, we brought property. First thing

673
00:35:59,160 --> 00:36:01,720
Speaker 1: we did we were renting the people, so the property

674
00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:04,120
Speaker 1: were getting was getting covered for the most part, but

675
00:36:04,160 --> 00:36:06,320
Speaker 1: there were always things that happened when your own properties.

676
00:36:07,080 --> 00:36:10,279
Speaker 1: You and I both had jobs. We were working to

677
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 1: be able to pay rent and put food on the table,

678
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:15,160
Speaker 1: but we were also putting money aside for our dreams.

679
00:36:15,800 --> 00:36:18,680
Speaker 1: The key here is the sacrifice, and this is what

680
00:36:18,719 --> 00:36:20,839
Speaker 1: I want to talk to people about. There were four

681
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:23,320
Speaker 1: years in our marriage, the first four years where Kadina

682
00:36:23,320 --> 00:36:26,239
Speaker 1: and I didn't go on vacation. I turned in my car,

683
00:36:26,920 --> 00:36:30,560
Speaker 1: we took the train. We didn't buy no bags, no clothes,

684
00:36:30,640 --> 00:36:35,879
Speaker 1: no jewelry. For four years. Cosmetics that had you were

685
00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 1: black because it was good because I'm like, as long

686
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,560
Speaker 1: as it wasn't dingy, washed out black, we were all right.

687
00:36:42,880 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 1: And and that's how we lived for four years, to

688
00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:48,600
Speaker 1: save up every little last dollar, to continue to invest

689
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 1: in ourselves and not gonna lie. That was a very

690
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:53,560
Speaker 1: difficult point, not just financially for us, but in our

691
00:36:53,560 --> 00:36:56,120
Speaker 1: marriage in general, because of just the strain and the

692
00:36:56,120 --> 00:37:00,279
Speaker 1: sacrifice and everything. Pretty much we weren't focused on each other.

693
00:37:00,280 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 1: And that's I think when we look back now, that's

694
00:37:02,680 --> 00:37:04,640
Speaker 1: the reason why we struggled so much. A large part

695
00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:06,799
Speaker 1: of why our marriage struggle. It wasn't for anything other

696
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,320
Speaker 1: than the fact that we both were just nose down

697
00:37:09,600 --> 00:37:13,480
Speaker 1: in our fields at the time, trying to make ends

698
00:37:13,520 --> 00:37:18,280
Speaker 1: meet get out of that slump. But it also shows

699
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,840
Speaker 1: you as possible, right, because what I want to employ

700
00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:24,600
Speaker 1: to people is that the system exists and that cycle

701
00:37:24,640 --> 00:37:26,960
Speaker 1: exists to keep a class of people down that they

702
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 1: can continue to work so that the rich can make

703
00:37:29,080 --> 00:37:31,600
Speaker 1: more money. But there are also things in place that

704
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,239
Speaker 1: can help, right. So for example, Coaudin and I chose

705
00:37:34,280 --> 00:37:36,479
Speaker 1: not to send our kids to independent school. Our kids

706
00:37:36,480 --> 00:37:38,960
Speaker 1: went to public school. We got them tested, We put

707
00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,680
Speaker 1: them in the best public schools possible, right Coaudina and I,

708
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:43,960
Speaker 1: when we first moved back, my grandmother was staying in

709
00:37:44,040 --> 00:37:47,080
Speaker 1: subsidized apartment. I said, yo, put me on the least Justina,

710
00:37:47,120 --> 00:37:49,360
Speaker 1: has I ever got to move back? And our rent

711
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:52,520
Speaker 1: at the time was only two thousand dollars for that

712
00:37:52,640 --> 00:37:55,680
Speaker 1: huge apartment that we were living in. The subsidized rent

713
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 1: allowed us to save money. Are they even doing that

714
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,200
Speaker 1: still now where you can put someone on the lease

715
00:38:00,840 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: for a long time if your grandfather then in New

716
00:38:02,640 --> 00:38:06,520
Speaker 1: York State, yeah can, yes, you can, Yes, you can

717
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:08,400
Speaker 1: kind of touch and go. So make sure you know

718
00:38:08,480 --> 00:38:10,720
Speaker 1: that Now, if you're if you're starting a new lease,

719
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 1: a brand new lease, you can't. But if your grandparents

720
00:38:13,520 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 1: or your parents had a lease in a subsidized apartment

721
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 1: in New York City, they cannot up the rent but

722
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,839
Speaker 1: so much percent every month, So I mean every year

723
00:38:21,920 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 1: or every lease. But when Canina I talked about capital

724
00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:29,200
Speaker 1: to invest, right, We're not talking about taking the money

725
00:38:29,239 --> 00:38:31,520
Speaker 1: you make and putting in the stock market. When I'm

726
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:35,040
Speaker 1: talking about investing, I'm talking about investing in ourselves. Right.

727
00:38:35,280 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: So if Condina not, for example, made an additional two

728
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:41,000
Speaker 1: thousand dollars every month, with that money that could have

729
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,080
Speaker 1: went to paying a higher rent, or I could have

730
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:44,600
Speaker 1: went to a car note, or could have went to

731
00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 1: a bag or travel. We took that money and at

732
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,600
Speaker 1: the end of six months, like we got twelve thousand dollars.

733
00:38:49,640 --> 00:38:51,319
Speaker 1: What can we need? Codine was like, well, I can

734
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,960
Speaker 1: use some new brushes. I can do some makeup classes.

735
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 1: So let me invest in buying these brushes, Let me

736
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:59,799
Speaker 1: invest in getting some Remember used to rent those rooms

737
00:38:59,800 --> 00:39:02,839
Speaker 1: to those makeup classes. You invest in yourself to make

738
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,640
Speaker 1: more revenue. I did the same thing with the Jim.

739
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:07,760
Speaker 1: I said, well, I'm making a little bit more extra

740
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,640
Speaker 1: per month, let me hire another trainer. This way I

741
00:39:10,640 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 1: can take in more clients. So I think it's safe

742
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,360
Speaker 1: to say that what we would decipher so far that

743
00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:17,879
Speaker 1: it's not enough just to have the property, to own

744
00:39:17,920 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: the property, to know that you're existing in the property,

745
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 1: or that the property is just there even if you're

746
00:39:22,280 --> 00:39:24,880
Speaker 1: not living in it. At some point you have to

747
00:39:24,920 --> 00:39:27,360
Speaker 1: decide when it's going to be beneficial for you to

748
00:39:27,600 --> 00:39:31,000
Speaker 1: potentially pull from that, sell it, or do something to

749
00:39:31,040 --> 00:39:34,440
Speaker 1: an advance and move on to another property, another investment, something.

750
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 1: So what are ways to kind of decipher that um

751
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,600
Speaker 1: that you've experienced or have you seen. Well, the first

752
00:39:39,600 --> 00:39:41,840
Speaker 1: thing is it is understanding if you're getting the most

753
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:44,759
Speaker 1: value out of the property, because most people want to

754
00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:46,839
Speaker 1: just live in the property because if you don't have

755
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,120
Speaker 1: a mortgage. I think I think there's a stat that

756
00:39:50,160 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 1: says s people's pay checks go to where they're going

757
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:58,160
Speaker 1: to live. So regardless of what type of job you have,

758
00:39:58,360 --> 00:40:02,239
Speaker 1: if you had more of your money to spend, you

759
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,640
Speaker 1: just be living a better life. So some people look

760
00:40:04,640 --> 00:40:06,640
Speaker 1: at grandma's house is a way for them to just

761
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:10,240
Speaker 1: make more money so they could spend it on stuff

762
00:40:10,280 --> 00:40:12,680
Speaker 1: that's frivolous, you know. So, Oh, I don't have a

763
00:40:12,680 --> 00:40:15,759
Speaker 1: mortgage because I live in my grandmother's house. So I'm

764
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 1: gonna buy a high end car that has a depreach,

765
00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,840
Speaker 1: that has a high depreciation value. I'm gonna buy more bags,

766
00:40:21,080 --> 00:40:23,440
Speaker 1: or I'm gonna go on more trips. But it's like

767
00:40:23,440 --> 00:40:27,120
Speaker 1: you're not helping yourself and you're not hoping Grandma move

768
00:40:27,239 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 1: the family forward just by staying there for free and

769
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,400
Speaker 1: spending the extra money you have and giving it to

770
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,200
Speaker 1: someone else. So I think it's important for you to say,

771
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:37,760
Speaker 1: you know what, if we have people who are family

772
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:40,880
Speaker 1: or family who are staying in grandma's house, how about

773
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,040
Speaker 1: we just we're not gonna call it rent, right, but

774
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,120
Speaker 1: we'll just pay a contribution to the asset. This way

775
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: we can continue to build on the asset. Because you

776
00:40:49,400 --> 00:40:50,920
Speaker 1: know what happens to assets when you live in it.

777
00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:54,200
Speaker 1: You don't pay nothing, It gets fucked up. People live

778
00:40:54,239 --> 00:40:56,600
Speaker 1: in the house, they tear it up, they sit on

779
00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: the furniture, they're smoking it, they drinking, they do all

780
00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:01,399
Speaker 1: the sorts of stuff that does and help the property grow.

781
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 1: But how about we calling a maintenance fee and all

782
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:06,279
Speaker 1: of the adults that live in this house that don't

783
00:41:06,320 --> 00:41:11,000
Speaker 1: pay no rent, you gotta pay. I'm saying, let's pay

784
00:41:11,040 --> 00:41:12,760
Speaker 1: a maintenance fee. This way we can keep the upkeep

785
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:14,640
Speaker 1: of the house. So even if you're keeping the upkeep,

786
00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:18,040
Speaker 1: the value of the property continues to increase. There shouldn't

787
00:41:18,080 --> 00:41:21,560
Speaker 1: be multitudes of adults living in the property, but the

788
00:41:21,560 --> 00:41:24,520
Speaker 1: front yard is still not cleaned on a consistent basis,

789
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 1: and you're bringing down the property value. That's number one.

790
00:41:27,520 --> 00:41:30,840
Speaker 1: If you don't have family living in the property and

791
00:41:30,920 --> 00:41:33,560
Speaker 1: Grandma is not there anymore, but the property is just

792
00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:35,680
Speaker 1: sitting there. Now you have an assets that's not an

793
00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:39,360
Speaker 1: asset that's not generating any revenue. You should be renting

794
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:42,000
Speaker 1: the property out or you know, depending on the city

795
00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,440
Speaker 1: you live in, because now they have so many regulations.

796
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:47,719
Speaker 1: But you can air b and b the property and

797
00:41:47,760 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 1: make additional revenue. Like, there's so many ways that you

798
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: can make money off of these properties that are just

799
00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,279
Speaker 1: sitting there as opposed to just having it sit there

800
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,040
Speaker 1: and nobody doing anything with it. Just remember whatever plan

801
00:41:58,160 --> 00:42:00,080
Speaker 1: you devise, just know that if it's an ear, be

802
00:42:00,160 --> 00:42:02,120
Speaker 1: and be Like recently in Atlanta, I heard that they

803
00:42:02,160 --> 00:42:05,200
Speaker 1: got rid of a ton of them, because if the

804
00:42:05,239 --> 00:42:09,279
Speaker 1: government ain't making no money off you, baby, they will

805
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,120
Speaker 1: find a way or they will put the kabash in it.

806
00:42:11,360 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 1: So make sure you do you do do your due

807
00:42:13,560 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 1: diligence when you're trying to figure out what that next

808
00:42:16,040 --> 00:42:18,360
Speaker 1: step is gonna look like for you in your investment.

809
00:42:19,120 --> 00:42:22,520
Speaker 1: So I think those are some great tips, some great tricks,

810
00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:25,279
Speaker 1: things that we should just as a people be able

811
00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:29,920
Speaker 1: to advance, you know. And I'm excited about our generation

812
00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:33,720
Speaker 1: and the generations hopefully moving forward that this legacy building

813
00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: that we talked about so often that seems so almost

814
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,839
Speaker 1: really daunting or untouchable. I think this is a great

815
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,000
Speaker 1: way to start and a great way to continue to

816
00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 1: make our families proud. You know, my parents have a

817
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:46,279
Speaker 1: property that now they were looking to possibly sell. This

818
00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,879
Speaker 1: was an investment property that they've had for years um

819
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 1: and then they realize, you know, what if I were

820
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,439
Speaker 1: to sell this right now, ay, I may not get

821
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,320
Speaker 1: the worth or what I think I should be getting

822
00:42:55,360 --> 00:42:58,040
Speaker 1: for it. And then the capital gains tax is something

823
00:42:58,080 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 1: that you have to pay back unless unless your parents,

824
00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:04,800
Speaker 1: like we did, put it in the trust. Yeah. I

825
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:07,200
Speaker 1: was going to get to that. So yeah, so instead

826
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:08,799
Speaker 1: of doing that, like they said, this was something that

827
00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:11,239
Speaker 1: they purchased UM with the hopes of being able to

828
00:43:11,239 --> 00:43:13,360
Speaker 1: pass it down to me, my brother and my sister,

829
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,759
Speaker 1: and I told my dad to or actually you did,

830
00:43:15,800 --> 00:43:17,399
Speaker 1: you had the idea to tell him. You know what, Pop,

831
00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:19,600
Speaker 1: you've worked so hard you and mom have, you know,

832
00:43:19,640 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: worked hard to obtain this UM. You don't have to

833
00:43:23,040 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 1: wait until you're dead and gone for us too. Then

834
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,120
Speaker 1: the benefits of it, there's so many different ventures that

835
00:43:29,160 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 1: we have now, different opportunities where we're like, yo, if

836
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 1: we had this capital right now, we can jump on

837
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: this investment, or we can you know, do this to

838
00:43:37,120 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 1: improve their property and then potentially make more money on

839
00:43:39,640 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 1: the back end with that, you know. So it's really

840
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:44,680
Speaker 1: great to have those conversations. And I think our generation

841
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:48,520
Speaker 1: needs to be the ones to educate our parents because

842
00:43:49,160 --> 00:43:53,120
Speaker 1: the tides have shifted to the point where our parents

843
00:43:53,200 --> 00:43:55,439
Speaker 1: were taking care of us and we're at that age

844
00:43:55,440 --> 00:43:57,319
Speaker 1: now where I feel like we're starting to take care

845
00:43:57,320 --> 00:43:59,160
Speaker 1: of our parents. That we're the ones that have to

846
00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:01,320
Speaker 1: kind of make sure that they're going to be okay

847
00:44:01,400 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 1: as they continue to age, which we hope gracefully and

848
00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 1: without stress because we're here to help them do so.

849
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,240
Speaker 1: So let's talk more about putting that money in a trust,

850
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:13,640
Speaker 1: different ways that we can now capitalize off of the house,

851
00:44:13,760 --> 00:44:16,880
Speaker 1: the property, Grandma's investment. So what people need to understand

852
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:20,080
Speaker 1: is that when your parents buy a property and they

853
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:23,439
Speaker 1: pass the property to you, you're gonna have to pay

854
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:26,120
Speaker 1: capital gains tax when you sell that right, which means

855
00:44:26,160 --> 00:44:31,520
Speaker 1: if your parents buy a property for dollars and the

856
00:44:31,560 --> 00:44:34,359
Speaker 1: property just grows to be a million, right, that's nine

857
00:44:35,239 --> 00:44:38,960
Speaker 1: thousand dollars worth of capital gains And it doesn't matter

858
00:44:39,080 --> 00:44:40,800
Speaker 1: it was your parents. And if your parents are gone,

859
00:44:40,880 --> 00:44:43,839
Speaker 1: you still have to pay capital gains tax if they

860
00:44:43,920 --> 00:44:45,920
Speaker 1: left the property to you, because they're not giving you

861
00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 1: that whole nine eighties scot free at all. Not gonna happen.

862
00:44:49,600 --> 00:44:53,400
Speaker 1: But if you put it in the trust and the

863
00:44:53,440 --> 00:44:57,000
Speaker 1: trust keeps them as the beneficiary, keeps them as the

864
00:44:57,000 --> 00:44:59,719
Speaker 1: owners of the property, but you the beneficiary, now you

865
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 1: don't have to pay full capital gains tax thousand. I

866
00:45:03,080 --> 00:45:07,040
Speaker 1: think what happens is the property rolls over into what

867
00:45:07,200 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 1: the value of the property it would have been now

868
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:12,239
Speaker 1: if they purchased it, so it wouldn't be considered the

869
00:45:12,239 --> 00:45:17,160
Speaker 1: full twenty so we'll still yeah, and I'm not I'm

870
00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:19,200
Speaker 1: not an expert in that, but I do know that

871
00:45:19,239 --> 00:45:21,480
Speaker 1: if you put it into a trust, that you don't

872
00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:23,759
Speaker 1: have to pay the full capital gains tax on all

873
00:45:23,800 --> 00:45:25,920
Speaker 1: of that property, which is important for people to know.

874
00:45:26,200 --> 00:45:29,720
Speaker 1: When you do have a property that's uh rental property,

875
00:45:30,320 --> 00:45:32,200
Speaker 1: you should put a trust or create a trust because

876
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 1: that also protects you from being sued if something happens

877
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 1: in the event, like you have properties in your name. Okay,

878
00:45:37,560 --> 00:45:39,800
Speaker 1: this is the void ellis property someone slips and folds

879
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 1: on the front lawn, they can sue the foul eleus,

880
00:45:42,800 --> 00:45:44,720
Speaker 1: you know, but if the properties in the trust inside

881
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,359
Speaker 1: of and an LLC owns the trust, they can only

882
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,440
Speaker 1: sue the LLC that the property's name is under. They

883
00:45:51,440 --> 00:45:53,759
Speaker 1: can't sue me personally, which is important for people to

884
00:45:53,800 --> 00:45:56,799
Speaker 1: know when you rent property. But so things we should

885
00:45:56,800 --> 00:45:59,360
Speaker 1: also consider before selling is the attachment to this place

886
00:45:59,680 --> 00:46:02,719
Speaker 1: based on anything other than emotions. Okay, because the death

887
00:46:02,719 --> 00:46:06,360
Speaker 1: of a family member always comes with emotional after effects,

888
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,880
Speaker 1: but are your emotions enough to keep you financially tied

889
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,120
Speaker 1: to the property. And we see this a lot. You

890
00:46:12,200 --> 00:46:14,200
Speaker 1: see this a lot, so and so lived here forever.

891
00:46:14,239 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: We never sell in this property, and no one looks

892
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 1: to do anything advantageous with the property. Or four people

893
00:46:19,920 --> 00:46:21,960
Speaker 1: just want to live there and they want to live

894
00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:23,600
Speaker 1: there for freeze so they don't have to pay rent,

895
00:46:23,719 --> 00:46:25,480
Speaker 1: or they can use whatever Monday have to go do

896
00:46:25,520 --> 00:46:27,960
Speaker 1: whatever frivolous things they want to do. And that's not

897
00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,480
Speaker 1: fair to the person who died trying to make sure

898
00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:33,839
Speaker 1: the property was staying in the family. So if it's

899
00:46:33,880 --> 00:46:36,600
Speaker 1: if it's just an emotional attachment and people are leeching

900
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:39,239
Speaker 1: and mooching off of the property, it's time to move

901
00:46:39,239 --> 00:46:42,759
Speaker 1: forward for sure. Another thing to consider, do you have

902
00:46:42,800 --> 00:46:46,560
Speaker 1: the financial knowledge to manage the sale or maintenance of

903
00:46:46,600 --> 00:46:49,400
Speaker 1: the property. Like we discussed the truth is selling the

904
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:53,440
Speaker 1: home or keeping it can create generational wealth for the family.

905
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 1: It's important to have financial education to help you understand

906
00:46:57,600 --> 00:47:00,520
Speaker 1: what the best choices for the family. So we'll give

907
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:05,800
Speaker 1: you guys an example. Canine's parents bought property. They sold

908
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:09,719
Speaker 1: two houses to pay for your education. Right, they have

909
00:47:09,840 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 1: one property left the one problem. They have two properties

910
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:17,160
Speaker 1: left the problem, so one for education to pay for

911
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,840
Speaker 1: you guys education. So you guys don't have any debt

912
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 1: from school, which is great. Which is one way you

913
00:47:22,480 --> 00:47:24,680
Speaker 1: see selling a property can help a family because if

914
00:47:24,680 --> 00:47:27,359
Speaker 1: you're selling the property and using the equity to pay

915
00:47:27,360 --> 00:47:31,480
Speaker 1: off um higher learning or education, your children, Yeah, they

916
00:47:31,840 --> 00:47:34,520
Speaker 1: your your parents invested in you, so your parents get

917
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,719
Speaker 1: to graduate and not have any debt to pay back

918
00:47:36,719 --> 00:47:39,439
Speaker 1: for school. That's number one. Number two, your dad said,

919
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: I always wanted this building for my kids. I wanted

920
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:47,759
Speaker 1: them to own it. In his mind, it was if

921
00:47:47,800 --> 00:47:50,000
Speaker 1: they own this building and they continue to rent it out,

922
00:47:50,280 --> 00:47:53,360
Speaker 1: they could split the monthly rent between the three of

923
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:56,160
Speaker 1: you guys every month, And in his mind, that's what

924
00:47:56,440 --> 00:47:58,719
Speaker 1: he saw. But then we sat down and was just

925
00:47:58,760 --> 00:48:01,600
Speaker 1: like with dad, if you sell this property and you

926
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:05,040
Speaker 1: give all of us the shares of the equity that

927
00:48:05,120 --> 00:48:08,360
Speaker 1: you had for us, we could all buy our own

928
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,520
Speaker 1: separate properties and do the same thing you did. And

929
00:48:11,520 --> 00:48:14,680
Speaker 1: then for him it was like, oh, wait, you right right.

930
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 1: So rather than just sitting on it and all splitting

931
00:48:18,080 --> 00:48:21,480
Speaker 1: the rent from one property, you teach your children how

932
00:48:21,520 --> 00:48:23,200
Speaker 1: to do the same thing you did, and you use

933
00:48:23,280 --> 00:48:26,320
Speaker 1: the equity to duplicate that process. That's how you create

934
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:29,360
Speaker 1: generational wealth. Now the family owns how many properties three

935
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:32,279
Speaker 1: and then that three can turn into nine, and then

936
00:48:32,400 --> 00:48:38,840
Speaker 1: nine turns into twenty seven. And that's ultimately this is

937
00:48:38,840 --> 00:48:41,240
Speaker 1: what I do, And this is that's how you build

938
00:48:41,280 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 1: generational wealth. Can you imagine three generations from now, the

939
00:48:44,360 --> 00:48:47,040
Speaker 1: elyssis own over a hundred properties because every time, but

940
00:48:47,160 --> 00:48:49,719
Speaker 1: we have four kids, so that one will turn the four,

941
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:51,680
Speaker 1: and the four return to sixteen and the sixteen to

942
00:48:51,760 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: sixty four. Like, that's that's what you do, that's what

943
00:48:54,600 --> 00:48:56,479
Speaker 1: you hope for, which leads me to the next point.

944
00:48:56,800 --> 00:48:59,239
Speaker 1: How will your decision effects the next generation? Will you

945
00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:01,480
Speaker 1: sell the house and old on money, cars, clubs, close

946
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:04,399
Speaker 1: hose or will you use the money to pay off

947
00:49:04,400 --> 00:49:08,520
Speaker 1: a debt and invest in other income generating vehicles? And

948
00:49:08,560 --> 00:49:12,040
Speaker 1: this is this is an important part for families. We

949
00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:14,560
Speaker 1: have to do a better job of not relying on

950
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:19,040
Speaker 1: schools to teach our kids. Right schools are not going

951
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 1: to teach our kids about true American history right now.

952
00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 1: They call it critical race theory. And people are scared, right, Okay,

953
00:49:24,640 --> 00:49:26,520
Speaker 1: don't don't teach them that. I'm not worried about nobody

954
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,319
Speaker 1: teaching my kids about history, because I'm going to teach

955
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:31,839
Speaker 1: them right I'm also not just gonna teach my kids

956
00:49:31,840 --> 00:49:34,239
Speaker 1: at one plus one equals too. I'm gonna teach my

957
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:39,440
Speaker 1: kids about equity taxes. I'll give them a greater financial

958
00:49:39,040 --> 00:49:42,719
Speaker 1: financial access to information. What does the bank account? What

959
00:49:42,719 --> 00:49:44,600
Speaker 1: does the savings account? What is an I RA? What

960
00:49:44,719 --> 00:49:46,760
Speaker 1: is the four O one? Kid? These are the things

961
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,080
Speaker 1: that we need to teach our kids along with trades.

962
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:51,879
Speaker 1: Because you may have a child that said I don't

963
00:49:51,920 --> 00:49:54,600
Speaker 1: want to go to college. Cool, you don't want to

964
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:56,680
Speaker 1: go to college. Do you want to be an electrician?

965
00:49:57,200 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 1: Do you want to be a plumber? Do you want

966
00:49:58,719 --> 00:50:00,640
Speaker 1: to be a carpenter? But why should I do that? Well,

967
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:03,920
Speaker 1: your dad owns a multitude of properties. Rather than me

968
00:50:04,040 --> 00:50:06,919
Speaker 1: paying someone else to do the work on the house

969
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:09,080
Speaker 1: as we buy, how about you get a trade, you

970
00:50:09,160 --> 00:50:11,319
Speaker 1: learn how to do that work. You can use that

971
00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:13,879
Speaker 1: work as sweat equity to own your own properties within

972
00:50:13,920 --> 00:50:15,879
Speaker 1: the family. This way, I don't got to pay someone else.

973
00:50:16,120 --> 00:50:18,319
Speaker 1: But now you can fix up this house and get

974
00:50:18,400 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 1: paid by owning the property. Then start your own business

975
00:50:21,400 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 1: and do other properties. And and that's how you teach

976
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 1: your children exactly, that's how you teach your children. Because

977
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,399
Speaker 1: if home ownership and land ownership is the number one

978
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:33,200
Speaker 1: way to increase wealth in America. We should be teaching

979
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:37,920
Speaker 1: our children how to own and flip homes, you know,

980
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,200
Speaker 1: and any any other job is just a way for

981
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:43,000
Speaker 1: you to get capital to do that. And then once

982
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:45,000
Speaker 1: you know how to do that, your family will always

983
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,840
Speaker 1: have money and they'll always have a place to stay.

984
00:50:47,120 --> 00:50:48,640
Speaker 1: You always hear about people all have money in real

985
00:50:48,719 --> 00:50:52,400
Speaker 1: estate properties. A lot of people the Brich just people

986
00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,000
Speaker 1: I know in the world, and I know a lot

987
00:50:54,080 --> 00:50:56,839
Speaker 1: of people now being in this industry. I always ask them,

988
00:50:56,840 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 1: like Soul, So how do you how did you make

989
00:50:59,120 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 1: money just entertainment? I mean, I started the entertainment, but

990
00:51:02,680 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 1: I make a lot more of my money now in

991
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:06,960
Speaker 1: real estate. They all say that it doesn't matter if

992
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:10,799
Speaker 1: it's Tyler Perry or Draymond Green, or it doesn't matter

993
00:51:10,880 --> 00:51:14,960
Speaker 1: what form of entertainment or athlete or finance person. They

994
00:51:15,000 --> 00:51:18,000
Speaker 1: always say like Balau. Balau started a black rock, but

995
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:21,200
Speaker 1: now he owns property. Can you afford to keep the property?

996
00:51:21,400 --> 00:51:23,760
Speaker 1: If you keep the property, how will you use it?

997
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:26,640
Speaker 1: Will it be an investment property? Can you afford the

998
00:51:26,680 --> 00:51:29,160
Speaker 1: taxes and expenses left with it? So this is the

999
00:51:29,160 --> 00:51:31,600
Speaker 1: craziest part. Right when I was working at pact plex

1000
00:51:31,719 --> 00:51:35,080
Speaker 1: Um and I was working with working at pact plex

1001
00:51:35,080 --> 00:51:37,680
Speaker 1: at the gym. Right um, that family that owns pact

1002
00:51:37,719 --> 00:51:40,920
Speaker 1: plex a guy by the name of earth Landau. His

1003
00:51:41,040 --> 00:51:45,080
Speaker 1: family owns a bunch of models, and he and rich

1004
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:48,200
Speaker 1: Rich Marshall, who owns pac plex Um, they both said

1005
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,920
Speaker 1: to me, you know, there's no property should be anything

1006
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:53,360
Speaker 1: but an investment property. Even the home you live in

1007
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:55,279
Speaker 1: should be an investment property. And I was just like,

1008
00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,960
Speaker 1: make like, just make it makes sense a real quick

1009
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:00,480
Speaker 1: And it was just like, even though home you live

1010
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:05,240
Speaker 1: in has equity, if it if it is considered capital,

1011
00:52:05,880 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 1: or consider something the value of an asset. If you

1012
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:12,920
Speaker 1: see an advantage where you can make money, move m h.

1013
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:16,320
Speaker 1: And I was like, just move like that. He's like,

1014
00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:18,800
Speaker 1: there's so many places to live in the world. Like, okay,

1015
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,759
Speaker 1: say say you let's say you're living in a house

1016
00:52:20,760 --> 00:52:23,400
Speaker 1: where you can gain six million dollars in equity by

1017
00:52:23,440 --> 00:52:25,839
Speaker 1: selling it overnight to someone. You're telling me that that's

1018
00:52:25,840 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 1: six million dollars. You can't find another dream home that

1019
00:52:28,160 --> 00:52:30,839
Speaker 1: you want to live in. And when he started saying that,

1020
00:52:30,920 --> 00:52:33,200
Speaker 1: it made sense even when we sat down to speak

1021
00:52:33,239 --> 00:52:36,239
Speaker 1: to Envy. Right, we we sat down and everybody knows

1022
00:52:36,520 --> 00:52:40,040
Speaker 1: when it comes to money and flipping property and learning

1023
00:52:40,040 --> 00:52:42,879
Speaker 1: how to be a business person, DJ Envy does not

1024
00:52:43,160 --> 00:52:47,240
Speaker 1: hold back on that information. If you ask questions, he'll

1025
00:52:47,280 --> 00:52:49,879
Speaker 1: give you all the information you need. All he ever

1026
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:52,000
Speaker 1: asked is that you do your research and if you

1027
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:55,360
Speaker 1: want to learn, you come with him. He's like, you

1028
00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 1: can make money on anything from watches two cars. So

1029
00:52:59,400 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 1: he said, I have no sentimental value to any object

1030
00:53:02,719 --> 00:53:04,960
Speaker 1: other than my kids and my wife. Those are the

1031
00:53:05,000 --> 00:53:08,040
Speaker 1: only objects that are like physical objects that to me

1032
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:10,719
Speaker 1: have no value. Everything else has a value. And if

1033
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:13,359
Speaker 1: the value that you can get from it is more

1034
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:15,520
Speaker 1: than what you put into it, move on and make

1035
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:17,839
Speaker 1: it a business transaction. And if you start to think

1036
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:20,600
Speaker 1: like that, that's how you're able to accrude more assets

1037
00:53:20,640 --> 00:53:22,360
Speaker 1: and be able to do more things for your family.

1038
00:53:22,400 --> 00:53:24,239
Speaker 1: As opposed to saying, oh, well, I grew up in

1039
00:53:24,239 --> 00:53:27,200
Speaker 1: this house, I can't sell it. If it's advantageous for

1040
00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:29,560
Speaker 1: you to sell a house and move on, move on.

1041
00:53:31,239 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 1: If you decide to sell, do you sell it as

1042
00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,360
Speaker 1: it is or do you fix it? At first? It

1043
00:53:35,440 --> 00:53:38,719
Speaker 1: may be expensive if the property needs expansive repairs, but

1044
00:53:39,400 --> 00:53:42,000
Speaker 1: if you sell it as is, you don't want to

1045
00:53:42,040 --> 00:53:45,000
Speaker 1: expect a big buyout. So that that all just depends

1046
00:53:45,040 --> 00:53:47,600
Speaker 1: on the situation you're in. Depends on how much equity

1047
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:49,799
Speaker 1: you have in a home. For example, say you have

1048
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:52,000
Speaker 1: a home that your parents bought in the nineties. For

1049
00:53:53,520 --> 00:53:55,799
Speaker 1: now the home is valued at six hundred thousand, So

1050
00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,320
Speaker 1: now you have three hundred thousand dollars worth of equity

1051
00:53:58,680 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 1: just on what your parents bought it. But also your

1052
00:54:00,600 --> 00:54:03,240
Speaker 1: parents have been paying off on the mortgage. So say

1053
00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:05,560
Speaker 1: they've been in the house for fifteen years and now

1054
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:07,759
Speaker 1: you know they paid off one fifty, So now the

1055
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,080
Speaker 1: mortgage loan is one fifty, but the house can sell

1056
00:54:10,160 --> 00:54:12,680
Speaker 1: for six hundred. Now you have four hundred and fifty

1057
00:54:12,680 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 1: thousand dollars. Right, There's so many ways, like say, say

1058
00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:18,359
Speaker 1: you don't have the capital to fix it up, take

1059
00:54:18,400 --> 00:54:21,760
Speaker 1: out a home equity loan. Take out a hundred thousand dollars,

1060
00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:24,560
Speaker 1: make the house immaculate. Now you have two hundred and fifty,

1061
00:54:24,560 --> 00:54:27,080
Speaker 1: but it's six hundred thousand. Get the house real praised

1062
00:54:27,080 --> 00:54:29,920
Speaker 1: that six hundred thousand goals to eight hundred thousand, So

1063
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:32,400
Speaker 1: now you just made an additional fifty thousand my pulling

1064
00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: out that loan. There's so many ways for you to

1065
00:54:34,760 --> 00:54:37,120
Speaker 1: use the equity that's in the property to make more

1066
00:54:37,160 --> 00:54:40,760
Speaker 1: money that it really just depends on your financial situation.

1067
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:42,720
Speaker 1: Find out how much equity you have in the property,

1068
00:54:42,719 --> 00:54:44,759
Speaker 1: find out how long it's gonna take for you to sell,

1069
00:54:45,040 --> 00:54:47,000
Speaker 1: and then make your decisions based on that. If it

1070
00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:48,960
Speaker 1: costs you more money to fix it up, don't fix

1071
00:54:49,040 --> 00:54:51,160
Speaker 1: it up. If fixing it up it's gonna make you

1072
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,920
Speaker 1: more money on the sale, fix it up. How many

1073
00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:56,240
Speaker 1: times we've been into the houses looking for some recently

1074
00:54:56,280 --> 00:54:58,480
Speaker 1: and you can see, all right, so they really did

1075
00:54:58,520 --> 00:55:02,200
Speaker 1: some cheap upgrade. It's the surface level make this look good,

1076
00:55:02,440 --> 00:55:04,280
Speaker 1: but you know they didn't really do the good stuff,

1077
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:06,160
Speaker 1: and it's just to get rid of this house. Will

1078
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:08,920
Speaker 1: with that, okay? But I get it because as a

1079
00:55:08,920 --> 00:55:11,160
Speaker 1: person who's owning a home wanting to sell, sometimes you

1080
00:55:11,160 --> 00:55:18,239
Speaker 1: gotta do what you gotta exactly. And lastly, how will

1081
00:55:18,280 --> 00:55:20,440
Speaker 1: you pay the inheritance tax? When the owner of the

1082
00:55:20,480 --> 00:55:24,239
Speaker 1: property dies, the property's value is stepped up to the

1083
00:55:24,239 --> 00:55:26,879
Speaker 1: fear market value on the day they die, rather than

1084
00:55:27,080 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 1: when it was acquired. So if you sell, you will

1085
00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:33,040
Speaker 1: be required to pay taxes on any gain on sales

1086
00:55:33,080 --> 00:55:36,080
Speaker 1: and excess of the current market value which you discussed.

1087
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:38,839
Speaker 1: So there you go. So typically what happens is if

1088
00:55:38,880 --> 00:55:41,439
Speaker 1: you sell, a portion of the money you sell has

1089
00:55:41,480 --> 00:55:44,000
Speaker 1: to be put aside to pay taxes. So if you

1090
00:55:44,040 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 1: get four hundred thousand dollars from selling a home, just

1091
00:55:47,560 --> 00:55:52,760
Speaker 1: expect those property gain taxes to be about hundred thousand

1092
00:55:52,760 --> 00:55:54,960
Speaker 1: and a hundred thousand of that four hundred. Don't go

1093
00:55:55,080 --> 00:55:59,120
Speaker 1: and spend the quick four hundred, put down away in

1094
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:01,640
Speaker 1: an account and say this is my tax account. Period.

1095
00:56:01,719 --> 00:56:05,640
Speaker 1: Whenever you sell the property, take away put it in

1096
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:07,600
Speaker 1: an account to say this is my tax account. So

1097
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:10,000
Speaker 1: I know I'm going to have the money to pay

1098
00:56:10,040 --> 00:56:14,040
Speaker 1: capital gains tax. Look at you, just a wealth of

1099
00:56:14,080 --> 00:56:19,120
Speaker 1: knowledge overflowing and bubbling like Jesus love. I love it

1100
00:56:19,600 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 1: all right, y'all, So we are going to take a

1101
00:56:22,000 --> 00:56:25,319
Speaker 1: quick break. Um. Let that's sinking for y'all. I hope

1102
00:56:25,360 --> 00:56:27,680
Speaker 1: you were taking some notes, um, and we're gonna get

1103
00:56:27,719 --> 00:56:30,040
Speaker 1: into y'all's notes because you'll be sending us love notes

1104
00:56:30,080 --> 00:56:33,200
Speaker 1: in the form of listener letters that we're gonna get

1105
00:56:33,200 --> 00:56:37,840
Speaker 1: into after some ads are paid. All right, stick around,

1106
00:56:49,239 --> 00:56:51,560
Speaker 1: All right, we're back with listener letters. Let's dive right in.

1107
00:56:51,800 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 1: Good afternoon to Valin Cadeine. I hope all is well.

1108
00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:56,040
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of your videos and just bought

1109
00:56:56,080 --> 00:57:00,080
Speaker 1: tickets to your show and we'll see you there. I

1110
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:02,640
Speaker 1: cannot wait, y'all. You have no idea like I'm itching

1111
00:57:02,680 --> 00:57:05,879
Speaker 1: to get back live on stage to interact with you all.

1112
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:08,240
Speaker 1: So we are super excited. Thanks for getting your tickets.

1113
00:57:08,480 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 1: Congratulations on baby boy Dakota. I'm in desperate need of advice.

1114
00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:14,600
Speaker 1: My husband and I have two beautiful children and a

1115
00:57:14,680 --> 00:57:18,000
Speaker 1: third on the way. I think my husband doesn't have

1116
00:57:18,120 --> 00:57:21,360
Speaker 1: any connection to our son or with our son. Rather,

1117
00:57:21,880 --> 00:57:24,360
Speaker 1: he has a great connection and bond with our daughter,

1118
00:57:24,400 --> 00:57:26,040
Speaker 1: but when it comes to our son, it's a different

1119
00:57:26,080 --> 00:57:28,280
Speaker 1: ball game. Our son is eleven months old and we

1120
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: have another baby boy on the way. Usually when he

1121
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:33,440
Speaker 1: comes home from a long day's work, sometimes he'll walk

1122
00:57:33,480 --> 00:57:37,160
Speaker 1: past our son give our daughter a big giant hug. Also,

1123
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:39,280
Speaker 1: times when I would ask him to give our son

1124
00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:42,520
Speaker 1: a bath, he only is halfway attentive to him. He's

1125
00:57:42,520 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 1: a great dad and a great husband and provider. I

1126
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:47,160
Speaker 1: don't want to seem like I'm discrediting him in any way,

1127
00:57:47,200 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 1: but I just don't know what to do. Is there

1128
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:51,280
Speaker 1: any advice that you can give him to help develop

1129
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:55,120
Speaker 1: a deeper connection and bond with our son. I think

1130
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:56,480
Speaker 1: I know kind of what this is. I don't know

1131
00:57:56,520 --> 00:57:59,680
Speaker 1: how old your daughter is. But Devo literally says like

1132
00:57:59,760 --> 00:58:01,760
Speaker 1: he really doesn't have much to do with the boys

1133
00:58:01,840 --> 00:58:03,800
Speaker 1: until they're a little bit older to kind of be

1134
00:58:03,880 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 1: thrown around interacting with him, um, you know, um till

1135
00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:12,440
Speaker 1: he can say, Dad, I got to use the bathroom,

1136
00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,680
Speaker 1: like what the baby baby phases of things. You're not

1137
00:58:15,840 --> 00:58:20,440
Speaker 1: super doughty. I feel like as a dad with all

1138
00:58:20,520 --> 00:58:22,960
Speaker 1: the boys, I mean, you were hands on with Jack

1139
00:58:23,000 --> 00:58:25,120
Speaker 1: because you had to be, because you know I was.

1140
00:58:25,160 --> 00:58:28,840
Speaker 1: We were in a different petition, and he was the first.

1141
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,280
Speaker 1: He was the first, and then with Cairo and Kas.

1142
00:58:31,320 --> 00:58:33,560
Speaker 1: I do talk to him a lot like I am

1143
00:58:33,600 --> 00:58:36,400
Speaker 1: an attentive father. No you are, But I'm just saying

1144
00:58:36,440 --> 00:58:39,880
Speaker 1: in terms of like being super doughty when they're that age.

1145
00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:42,760
Speaker 1: I mean, when you think about it, I used to

1146
00:58:42,800 --> 00:58:44,120
Speaker 1: make all the videos with the kids when they were

1147
00:58:44,160 --> 00:58:46,160
Speaker 1: at age eleven months, Like I used to make videos

1148
00:58:46,200 --> 00:58:47,880
Speaker 1: in the morning with the videos. Yeah, but I'm just

1149
00:58:47,880 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 1: saying on a day to day basis, when it's like

1150
00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 1: the runnings of things having to do with the kids,

1151
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:54,680
Speaker 1: like right now pretty much with Dakota, for example, my

1152
00:58:54,720 --> 00:58:57,520
Speaker 1: mom and I do a lot of the you know, backtimes,

1153
00:58:57,600 --> 00:59:00,760
Speaker 1: diaper changes, feedings and all that. But and of course

1154
00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:02,560
Speaker 1: you're there if we need. You know, what I'm saying

1155
00:59:02,600 --> 00:59:04,240
Speaker 1: is in the past, I had to do that because

1156
00:59:04,280 --> 00:59:06,120
Speaker 1: your mom wasn't living with us, right, So if it's

1157
00:59:06,200 --> 00:59:08,600
Speaker 1: just them too there and then her mom doesn't, it's

1158
00:59:08,600 --> 00:59:11,520
Speaker 1: not living with them, so when she's not doing it,

1159
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,120
Speaker 1: somebody has to do it, right. I don't feel they

1160
00:59:14,120 --> 00:59:16,280
Speaker 1: need to do it as much with Dakota because he

1161
00:59:16,360 --> 00:59:18,800
Speaker 1: has a primary care person who's here all the time.

1162
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:21,920
Speaker 1: But if your mom wasn't here then it would be.

1163
00:59:22,080 --> 00:59:23,760
Speaker 1: But we kind of no choice, that's what And that's

1164
00:59:23,760 --> 00:59:25,680
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like when you think about the first

1165
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,439
Speaker 1: three boys, I had no choice, you know what I'm saying.

1166
00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:30,520
Speaker 1: But with Dakota, someone is there to care for him.

1167
00:59:30,520 --> 00:59:32,640
Speaker 1: There's not much I can do now, you know, he

1168
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 1: just got to be clean fed, And but I feel

1169
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:39,080
Speaker 1: like to like you even your brother, your dad. They

1170
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:41,800
Speaker 1: all pretty much say, like, y'all like to be more

1171
00:59:41,840 --> 00:59:43,720
Speaker 1: hands on with the boys or the kids in general

1172
00:59:43,720 --> 00:59:45,920
Speaker 1: when they're a little older, because that's just when you

1173
00:59:45,960 --> 00:59:48,000
Speaker 1: can they can interact with you. So for example, if

1174
00:59:48,040 --> 00:59:51,200
Speaker 1: you bypassed bypasses the son to go to the daughter,

1175
00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 1: it may be because she can communicate and interact a

1176
00:59:54,800 --> 00:59:58,720
Speaker 1: bit more. Same much, but still I'm not gonna walk

1177
00:59:58,760 --> 01:00:01,360
Speaker 1: past my baby to another kid, Like I'm just like,

1178
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:05,040
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna act like that's a normal don't do that.

1179
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 1: So I don't know what that's about unless he's one

1180
01:00:07,680 --> 01:00:09,160
Speaker 1: of those dudes where it's like, this is my son,

1181
01:00:09,240 --> 01:00:11,400
Speaker 1: like he's gotta be tough, you know. I remember when

1182
01:00:11,440 --> 01:00:13,200
Speaker 1: I first had Jackson. I was in that he got

1183
01:00:13,320 --> 01:00:16,360
Speaker 1: to be tough phase. That was my first son. And

1184
01:00:16,360 --> 01:00:19,480
Speaker 1: then as I got older and I realized that I

1185
01:00:19,520 --> 01:00:21,800
Speaker 1: need to spend more time hugging him and kissing them

1186
01:00:21,800 --> 01:00:23,160
Speaker 1: and show him that I love him and that will

1187
01:00:23,200 --> 01:00:26,520
Speaker 1: give him the confidence to be tough. But sometimes dad's

1188
01:00:26,520 --> 01:00:28,680
Speaker 1: gotta learn that, and maybe that's something he has to

1189
01:00:28,760 --> 01:00:32,760
Speaker 1: learn first son. Like I felt like because I was

1190
01:00:32,920 --> 01:00:36,960
Speaker 1: I was way more I would say aggressive and distant,

1191
01:00:37,000 --> 01:00:40,320
Speaker 1: with Jackson as far as like if he fell, get up,

1192
01:00:40,920 --> 01:00:43,120
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. But then I did learn

1193
01:00:43,200 --> 01:00:47,840
Speaker 1: over time that their confidence and toughness is comes from

1194
01:00:47,880 --> 01:00:51,160
Speaker 1: them knowing someone got their back, not from them having

1195
01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:53,800
Speaker 1: to figure stuff out on their own, because then that

1196
01:00:53,920 --> 01:00:56,880
Speaker 1: lost feeling feeling can make you feel small, and that's

1197
01:00:56,880 --> 01:00:59,120
Speaker 1: when you I used to watch Jackson like shrink a

1198
01:00:59,160 --> 01:01:01,080
Speaker 1: little bit. I used to be like, why are you shrinking?

1199
01:01:01,080 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 1: Like I got you? I'm right here. How does he

1200
01:01:03,000 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 1: know that I'm here? If I keep telling him to

1201
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,520
Speaker 1: get up on his own? See what I'm saying. We

1202
01:01:08,560 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 1: learned that with Jackson. But if you look at Jackson

1203
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:13,520
Speaker 1: now over the past couple of years, like recently you

1204
01:01:13,560 --> 01:01:16,160
Speaker 1: took him to camp, dude just got out the car

1205
01:01:16,280 --> 01:01:19,040
Speaker 1: like all right later, Man, That wasn't Jackson when he

1206
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 1: was early on, Jackson was always looking. And I realized

1207
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,760
Speaker 1: the more I hold his hand and hug him and

1208
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:28,000
Speaker 1: kiss him and be like, yo, you know I got you.

1209
01:01:28,320 --> 01:01:30,280
Speaker 1: And then when he falls, let him know like y'all

1210
01:01:30,320 --> 01:01:32,880
Speaker 1: see you four, I seen you, fo get up now?

1211
01:01:33,240 --> 01:01:36,600
Speaker 1: As opposed to ignoring him, because I thought ignoring him

1212
01:01:36,600 --> 01:01:39,560
Speaker 1: would teach him, you know self, motivation. I got up

1213
01:01:39,600 --> 01:01:42,280
Speaker 1: on my own instead. Now it's more like, yo, I

1214
01:01:42,280 --> 01:01:44,600
Speaker 1: saw you four. I know it hurts, but you gotta

1215
01:01:44,600 --> 01:01:47,720
Speaker 1: get up. You want me help you up. The confidence

1216
01:01:47,720 --> 01:01:49,480
Speaker 1: he gets from knowing that I'm there is now like, no,

1217
01:01:49,560 --> 01:01:51,920
Speaker 1: I got it on my own. And I think maybe him,

1218
01:01:51,920 --> 01:01:54,360
Speaker 1: as a first time dad to a boy, it's gonna

1219
01:01:54,360 --> 01:01:56,919
Speaker 1: take him some time to learn that. That's that's really

1220
01:01:56,960 --> 01:01:59,240
Speaker 1: what I think. Yeah, that's very possible for sure, because

1221
01:01:59,240 --> 01:02:01,680
Speaker 1: eleven months is still I mean, baby, it's probably walking now,

1222
01:02:01,760 --> 01:02:04,080
Speaker 1: we're about to be walking, and I think it'll only

1223
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:07,360
Speaker 1: get better as you get older. Yeah, that's I see Dakota,

1224
01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:10,320
Speaker 1: and I still grab them and give them up. You know,

1225
01:02:10,400 --> 01:02:11,960
Speaker 1: you know I love you, and I give him back

1226
01:02:11,960 --> 01:02:13,760
Speaker 1: to me me because there's not much I can do.

1227
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 1: But I'm not especially when you have three other kids pulling.

1228
01:02:17,400 --> 01:02:19,040
Speaker 1: But y'all were super cute this morning when I had

1229
01:02:19,080 --> 01:02:20,560
Speaker 1: to drop Jackson into camp and me we went to

1230
01:02:20,560 --> 01:02:22,560
Speaker 1: tennis and you Dakota in the bed all cuddled up.

1231
01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 1: I have some of my best pictures. So my best pictures,

1232
01:02:25,120 --> 01:02:26,840
Speaker 1: I feel like with you and Dakota, or just in

1233
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:29,440
Speaker 1: general with the kids, or me getting shots with you

1234
01:02:29,480 --> 01:02:30,840
Speaker 1: and him in the bed in the morning together, but

1235
01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:33,240
Speaker 1: you need something crazy. And I actually thought about this

1236
01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:35,840
Speaker 1: this morning. Right the minute Mimi walked out the door,

1237
01:02:35,920 --> 01:02:41,360
Speaker 1: the Coda started screaming, Right, And I made a choice,

1238
01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:42,840
Speaker 1: and I made the choice before and I'm not going

1239
01:02:42,920 --> 01:02:45,560
Speaker 1: to just pick him up and walk him around, so

1240
01:02:45,600 --> 01:02:47,400
Speaker 1: you know what I did. But I just sat next

1241
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:49,560
Speaker 1: to him rub is back while he was screaming, and

1242
01:02:49,560 --> 01:02:51,120
Speaker 1: then after a while he just was looking at me

1243
01:02:51,160 --> 01:02:55,560
Speaker 1: and then stopped. He just stopped. But the thing is,

1244
01:02:56,040 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 1: kids train you as much as you think you're training.

1245
01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:00,800
Speaker 1: The kids train you and his mom. If I scream,

1246
01:03:00,880 --> 01:03:02,960
Speaker 1: someone's gonna pick me up and walk me around. Right.

1247
01:03:03,600 --> 01:03:05,680
Speaker 1: I've never went through that with the other boys because

1248
01:03:05,720 --> 01:03:08,000
Speaker 1: no one walked them around when they were not young.

1249
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:10,440
Speaker 1: So with the Koda, he's going to have to learn that,

1250
01:03:10,640 --> 01:03:13,680
Speaker 1: you know. When I'm with my dad, yeah, I'm not

1251
01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:15,400
Speaker 1: gonna be works like the second time I think that

1252
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 1: y'all had been in the bed together where he's been

1253
01:03:16,880 --> 01:03:18,720
Speaker 1: awakened and the combing and both y'all a sleep, Like,

1254
01:03:18,800 --> 01:03:21,800
Speaker 1: how did you do that so easy? Because and it's

1255
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 1: still the thing too when he walks in the room

1256
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:25,560
Speaker 1: when you walk in the room, Dakota will hear you

1257
01:03:25,600 --> 01:03:28,520
Speaker 1: and his head is like he's breaking. They all do

1258
01:03:28,560 --> 01:03:30,680
Speaker 1: that since they're like newborns, even a couple of days old.

1259
01:03:30,680 --> 01:03:33,040
Speaker 1: They're looking at me talking to that stomach. Yeah, it's

1260
01:03:33,080 --> 01:03:35,880
Speaker 1: that bond there. So hopefully you guys will figure things

1261
01:03:35,920 --> 01:03:38,360
Speaker 1: out as a family together. I wonder if she's also

1262
01:03:38,400 --> 01:03:40,840
Speaker 1: expressed this to her husband too. Yeah, I think she should.

1263
01:03:40,880 --> 01:03:42,760
Speaker 1: I think you should express what you noticed because he

1264
01:03:42,840 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 1: may also he may not realize he's doing it, or

1265
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:48,200
Speaker 1: he may tell you I'm doing that for and then

1266
01:03:48,280 --> 01:03:50,720
Speaker 1: you can discuss, you know what you think the effects

1267
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:53,520
Speaker 1: of that will be, for sure are Good luck to y'all.

1268
01:03:54,320 --> 01:03:56,760
Speaker 1: Number two, Hey, Codeine and Devil. I am a longtime

1269
01:03:56,800 --> 01:03:59,520
Speaker 1: fan and a faithful Deadass listener. Thank you so much.

1270
01:03:59,680 --> 01:04:01,200
Speaker 1: I love you both. My X and I were in

1271
01:04:01,240 --> 01:04:03,040
Speaker 1: a three year relationship and I broke up with him

1272
01:04:03,080 --> 01:04:06,520
Speaker 1: because he cheated. Fast forward three years later, we reconnected

1273
01:04:06,560 --> 01:04:08,840
Speaker 1: again and have been dealing dating around each other for

1274
01:04:08,840 --> 01:04:12,080
Speaker 1: about six months. We get along so well, this chemistry.

1275
01:04:12,280 --> 01:04:15,280
Speaker 1: We're making future plans. We communicate well. When we started

1276
01:04:15,280 --> 01:04:17,360
Speaker 1: talking again, we agreed that we will not be seeing

1277
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:19,760
Speaker 1: or talking to other people on the side. I asked

1278
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,880
Speaker 1: him multiple times if he was seeing someone else, and

1279
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:24,080
Speaker 1: he always said no. Turns out that he is speaking

1280
01:04:24,080 --> 01:04:25,960
Speaker 1: to someone else, and I lost all trust in him.

1281
01:04:26,160 --> 01:04:27,960
Speaker 1: He tells me that he is no longer speaking to her,

1282
01:04:28,000 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 1: and then I am the only one he wants to

1283
01:04:29,960 --> 01:04:31,720
Speaker 1: build a future with, and he's going to prove that

1284
01:04:31,760 --> 01:04:33,640
Speaker 1: to me. I love this man with all my heart,

1285
01:04:33,640 --> 01:04:36,160
Speaker 1: and aside from his infidelities, he's a great man. He

1286
01:04:36,240 --> 01:04:38,440
Speaker 1: motivates me to be better. I love his personality and

1287
01:04:38,480 --> 01:04:40,880
Speaker 1: everything about him. I can go on and on about

1288
01:04:41,160 --> 01:04:43,000
Speaker 1: all the great things he brings to me. How do

1289
01:04:43,080 --> 01:04:46,240
Speaker 1: I move forward? How can I and still trust in

1290
01:04:46,320 --> 01:04:49,720
Speaker 1: him again? Or you need to still trust You don't

1291
01:04:49,720 --> 01:04:53,280
Speaker 1: need to trust him, trust yourself. I'm afraid that he

1292
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:55,800
Speaker 1: may strike again and speak to other women on the side.

1293
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:58,000
Speaker 1: How do I know he stopped speaking with her. Your

1294
01:04:58,040 --> 01:05:01,000
Speaker 1: advice is highly important to me. You may not know this,

1295
01:05:01,120 --> 01:05:04,160
Speaker 1: but the two of you are my relationship counselors. Hellow up,

1296
01:05:06,480 --> 01:05:09,600
Speaker 1: just as all order. I don't like being relationship counselors.

1297
01:05:09,640 --> 01:05:12,120
Speaker 1: I can tell you this though. Um. The first thing

1298
01:05:12,160 --> 01:05:13,520
Speaker 1: I would tell you to do is to block out

1299
01:05:13,560 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 1: all the noois. I know that you're getting plenty of

1300
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:19,720
Speaker 1: advice and plenty of things you should or should not

1301
01:05:19,800 --> 01:05:23,400
Speaker 1: do from people outside. You know this man, This man

1302
01:05:23,480 --> 01:05:27,080
Speaker 1: knows you. Okay. Um, when someone shows you who they are,

1303
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:31,479
Speaker 1: trust them the first time. That's number one, Okay, number two.

1304
01:05:31,720 --> 01:05:33,880
Speaker 1: Only you can make a decision of whether or not

1305
01:05:33,960 --> 01:05:38,000
Speaker 1: you're tired of trying to be of service to someone

1306
01:05:38,480 --> 01:05:41,320
Speaker 1: or letting someone try to be of service to you.

1307
01:05:41,680 --> 01:05:44,480
Speaker 1: The reason why I say that is because there's these

1308
01:05:44,480 --> 01:05:47,200
Speaker 1: old sayings that say, you know, you can't teach an

1309
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:50,080
Speaker 1: old dog new tricks or want a cheater always a cheater.

1310
01:05:50,440 --> 01:05:52,480
Speaker 1: And I know firsthand from some of my boys that

1311
01:05:52,520 --> 01:05:55,080
Speaker 1: that's not always true, because I do have boys that

1312
01:05:55,200 --> 01:05:57,560
Speaker 1: used to be wild and then they're just like, I

1313
01:05:57,600 --> 01:06:00,040
Speaker 1: don't want to do this no more. So that's not

1314
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:03,360
Speaker 1: always true. But it depends on your patience level and

1315
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:05,520
Speaker 1: the level of respect that you think he has for you,

1316
01:06:05,560 --> 01:06:08,920
Speaker 1: and only you know you know, so realistically we can't

1317
01:06:08,960 --> 01:06:10,960
Speaker 1: tell you. But what we can tell you is that

1318
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:14,600
Speaker 1: if you feel uncomfortable in the situation, and that uncomfortable

1319
01:06:14,720 --> 01:06:17,720
Speaker 1: uncomfortability comes from a lack of trust, there's only but

1320
01:06:17,800 --> 01:06:20,160
Speaker 1: so long you can take that before you start to

1321
01:06:20,160 --> 01:06:22,600
Speaker 1: project the fact that you don't trust him on him,

1322
01:06:22,680 --> 01:06:24,200
Speaker 1: and it's going to be an issue for the two

1323
01:06:24,240 --> 01:06:27,680
Speaker 1: of you because even if he's trying his hardest and

1324
01:06:27,680 --> 01:06:29,960
Speaker 1: he's not cheating anymore, and you don't trust him and

1325
01:06:30,040 --> 01:06:32,000
Speaker 1: you have insecurities because you don't trust him, that's going

1326
01:06:32,040 --> 01:06:34,520
Speaker 1: to be frustrating to him. Yeah, that's what I was

1327
01:06:34,520 --> 01:06:37,680
Speaker 1: gonna say that the insecurities, um and that lack of

1328
01:06:37,720 --> 01:06:40,560
Speaker 1: trust is probably the biggest thing that jumps out at

1329
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:44,320
Speaker 1: this today because say he does hang up the towel

1330
01:06:44,480 --> 01:06:46,000
Speaker 1: and he said, you know what, it's me and you

1331
01:06:46,600 --> 01:06:48,919
Speaker 1: are you always going to be wanting to look over

1332
01:06:48,920 --> 01:06:51,520
Speaker 1: his shoulder? Are you going to be questioning when he

1333
01:06:51,960 --> 01:06:54,240
Speaker 1: questioning him when he says he's someplace, wondering if he's

1334
01:06:54,240 --> 01:06:56,960
Speaker 1: someplace else? And the fact of the matter is that

1335
01:06:57,080 --> 01:07:00,240
Speaker 1: these infidelities that he's had, we're all choice is that

1336
01:07:00,280 --> 01:07:03,520
Speaker 1: he's made. He was deliberate in those choices. We don't

1337
01:07:05,320 --> 01:07:07,840
Speaker 1: personally their choices. So anything that we've had in the

1338
01:07:07,880 --> 01:07:09,840
Speaker 1: past and our issues, even you know, we've always said,

1339
01:07:09,880 --> 01:07:11,960
Speaker 1: we made that choice, and you own up to that choice.

1340
01:07:12,000 --> 01:07:13,920
Speaker 1: And then it's up to the other person to decide

1341
01:07:13,920 --> 01:07:16,760
Speaker 1: based off of that choice and how it's made me feel.

1342
01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:19,720
Speaker 1: Is this something that I want to continue moving forward

1343
01:07:19,760 --> 01:07:22,600
Speaker 1: with knowing that it could possibly happen again, because why

1344
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:25,560
Speaker 1: people are human and people make their choices. Um, But

1345
01:07:25,600 --> 01:07:28,320
Speaker 1: I think the bigger issue is moving past this. If

1346
01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:30,120
Speaker 1: that's something that you guys decide to do. I'm just

1347
01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:32,880
Speaker 1: concerned about where your level of trust is going to

1348
01:07:33,000 --> 01:07:35,560
Speaker 1: be for him. It won't be instilling trust on him again.

1349
01:07:35,560 --> 01:07:41,440
Speaker 1: It's you having the trust. But you're gonna laugh. But

1350
01:07:41,560 --> 01:07:46,080
Speaker 1: Zack and Karen sisters, and I'm gonna tell you, and

1351
01:07:46,080 --> 01:07:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why Zach used to cheat on

1352
01:07:49,640 --> 01:07:53,000
Speaker 1: Karen all the time, Right, Karen had a little side

1353
01:07:53,160 --> 01:07:57,360
Speaker 1: or whatever, but that was pretty much in reation Zach

1354
01:07:57,800 --> 01:08:01,760
Speaker 1: being immature. Zack decided that he wanted to try to

1355
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:04,360
Speaker 1: be the man that he thought he could be for Karen.

1356
01:08:05,720 --> 01:08:08,360
Speaker 1: Karen decides that's not good enough. I want to see

1357
01:08:08,360 --> 01:08:13,040
Speaker 1: things with Aaron, So Zax is fine. Zach moves on

1358
01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:17,800
Speaker 1: with Fatima. Now Karen sees Zack being the man that

1359
01:08:17,880 --> 01:08:21,160
Speaker 1: she wanted with Fatima, and she can't even accept Zach.

1360
01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:24,160
Speaker 1: I mean, she can't even accept Aaron because she wants

1361
01:08:24,200 --> 01:08:26,960
Speaker 1: the version of Zach that Fatima's getting. The reason why

1362
01:08:27,040 --> 01:08:29,360
Speaker 1: I say that is because of this. I don't know

1363
01:08:29,400 --> 01:08:31,760
Speaker 1: how old you are. I don't think that you said it.

1364
01:08:32,200 --> 01:08:36,240
Speaker 1: But if you already discredit this man as someone who

1365
01:08:36,320 --> 01:08:39,840
Speaker 1: can't possibly get right, and and you love him, and

1366
01:08:39,880 --> 01:08:42,040
Speaker 1: you listen to other people, and he goes on and

1367
01:08:42,080 --> 01:08:44,680
Speaker 1: becomes the man that you wanted for someone else, you're

1368
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:47,960
Speaker 1: gonna be heartbroken, and you're gonna sit there and have

1369
01:08:48,040 --> 01:08:51,639
Speaker 1: resentment towards whatever man comes at you next, and resentment

1370
01:08:51,680 --> 01:08:55,519
Speaker 1: to whatever friends are telling you to move forward. So

1371
01:08:56,040 --> 01:08:59,599
Speaker 1: but I say it you because you're the one who

1372
01:08:59,600 --> 01:09:01,760
Speaker 1: has a choice is to make need to make this

1373
01:09:01,880 --> 01:09:04,280
Speaker 1: choice based on how you feel and what you want.

1374
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:06,880
Speaker 1: If you want to continue to give it a try,

1375
01:09:07,080 --> 01:09:09,559
Speaker 1: as long as he's not being disrespectful and he's not

1376
01:09:09,600 --> 01:09:12,160
Speaker 1: putting your health or your or any or your mental

1377
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:15,160
Speaker 1: health in jeopardy, you continue to try to see if

1378
01:09:15,160 --> 01:09:18,400
Speaker 1: you guys can be of service to each other. But

1379
01:09:18,560 --> 01:09:21,960
Speaker 1: don't quit now. If you want to quit, and then

1380
01:09:22,000 --> 01:09:24,880
Speaker 1: watch him be somebody, be something to somebody else that

1381
01:09:24,960 --> 01:09:29,439
Speaker 1: you wanted and beset. You know what I'm saying, Like like, no,

1382
01:09:29,560 --> 01:09:32,880
Speaker 1: it's the truth though, like there is a chance that

1383
01:09:32,960 --> 01:09:35,439
Speaker 1: he may really be at that point, but only you

1384
01:09:35,479 --> 01:09:38,920
Speaker 1: will know. And I think you say, you know what,

1385
01:09:39,160 --> 01:09:41,679
Speaker 1: I've done this as far as I can. I can't anymore.

1386
01:09:42,040 --> 01:09:44,080
Speaker 1: If you're still feeling like I think I can keep

1387
01:09:44,080 --> 01:09:47,240
Speaker 1: giving it a try, I would say give it a try,

1388
01:09:48,200 --> 01:09:50,800
Speaker 1: but you have to keep an eye have to keep

1389
01:09:50,800 --> 01:09:54,840
Speaker 1: an eye open, because if he's continuing to exude the

1390
01:09:54,880 --> 01:09:58,640
Speaker 1: same behavior he existed exuded before and you continue to

1391
01:09:58,680 --> 01:10:01,160
Speaker 1: say it's okay, I'm gonna keep trying, yeah, you could

1392
01:10:01,200 --> 01:10:04,120
Speaker 1: also be letting him believe that it's okay. There you go,

1393
01:10:04,360 --> 01:10:06,559
Speaker 1: it's all right. So realistically it's up to you when

1394
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:09,880
Speaker 1: you when enough is enough, it's enough, walk away, or

1395
01:10:09,920 --> 01:10:12,160
Speaker 1: if you realize that he's really figured it out, hopefully

1396
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:14,320
Speaker 1: you guys can be happy together and you can decide

1397
01:10:14,320 --> 01:10:17,000
Speaker 1: that internally, because if you evolve too many people, too

1398
01:10:17,040 --> 01:10:20,160
Speaker 1: many friends, then you might be over it and they

1399
01:10:20,160 --> 01:10:23,040
Speaker 1: won't be. Yes, do not involve anybody else in your

1400
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:25,800
Speaker 1: relationship for sure? All right? If you want to be

1401
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:28,479
Speaker 1: featured as one of our listener letters, email us at

1402
01:10:28,520 --> 01:10:31,760
Speaker 1: dead as Advice at gmail dot com. That's d E.

1403
01:10:31,840 --> 01:10:33,920
Speaker 1: A D A S. S A D V I C.

1404
01:10:34,160 --> 01:10:37,720
Speaker 1: E at gmail dot com. All Right, moment a truth?

1405
01:10:37,800 --> 01:10:42,200
Speaker 1: Time to sell or not to sell Grandma's house? Moment

1406
01:10:42,200 --> 01:10:44,559
Speaker 1: of truth? I think mine is pretty straightforward. Do not

1407
01:10:44,720 --> 01:10:48,960
Speaker 1: rely on emotions when it comes to making financial and

1408
01:10:49,000 --> 01:10:51,840
Speaker 1: business decisions. They may give you an inkling on what

1409
01:10:51,920 --> 01:10:53,479
Speaker 1: you may or may not be able to do or

1410
01:10:53,560 --> 01:10:56,880
Speaker 1: should do, but that should not be the sole determining factor.

1411
01:10:57,360 --> 01:11:00,080
Speaker 1: If it's going to be a situation where moving a

1412
01:11:00,160 --> 01:11:05,439
Speaker 1: word with a rational mind means advancement for you, yourself,

1413
01:11:05,560 --> 01:11:10,080
Speaker 1: your family, your legacy, I agree. I agree that kind

1414
01:11:10,080 --> 01:11:12,160
Speaker 1: of goes along with mine, my mom own. The truth

1415
01:11:12,280 --> 01:11:15,679
Speaker 1: is as simple as this. The power and the value

1416
01:11:16,240 --> 01:11:19,280
Speaker 1: of the property is not in the building. It's in

1417
01:11:19,320 --> 01:11:22,800
Speaker 1: the asset. So if you can utilize that asset to

1418
01:11:22,880 --> 01:11:25,919
Speaker 1: create more assets, the power is always in the asset,

1419
01:11:26,240 --> 01:11:29,000
Speaker 1: not in the building. Sitting in the building and thinking

1420
01:11:29,000 --> 01:11:31,320
Speaker 1: the building has the power is going to do you

1421
01:11:31,360 --> 01:11:37,200
Speaker 1: a disservice. Lastly, if it's a family issue, the person

1422
01:11:37,280 --> 01:11:41,400
Speaker 1: who has invested the most money into the property and

1423
01:11:41,479 --> 01:11:44,920
Speaker 1: has been responsible enough to maintain the property should be

1424
01:11:44,960 --> 01:11:49,800
Speaker 1: the person with the deciding vote. And and that and

1425
01:11:50,320 --> 01:11:54,759
Speaker 1: there's nothing. This is non negotiable. Do not let family

1426
01:11:54,760 --> 01:11:59,919
Speaker 1: members who do not invest time, blood, sweat, prince capital

1427
01:12:00,040 --> 01:12:02,000
Speaker 1: anything into a property to tell you it ain't fair

1428
01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:04,639
Speaker 1: because of X y Z. If you did not put

1429
01:12:04,680 --> 01:12:07,360
Speaker 1: in on this man, you cannot get in on this

1430
01:12:07,400 --> 01:12:13,439
Speaker 1: man period period. Alright, y'all, and be sure to follow

1431
01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:17,280
Speaker 1: us on social media period um dead ask the podcast

1432
01:12:17,720 --> 01:12:19,680
Speaker 1: and I'm cad, I am and I'm devout, and if

1433
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:22,639
Speaker 1: you're listening on Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review

1434
01:12:23,080 --> 01:12:28,479
Speaker 1: and subscribe. Dead Ass is a production of I Heart

1435
01:12:28,520 --> 01:12:32,280
Speaker 1: Media podcast Network and is produced by the Noorapinia and Triple.

1436
01:12:32,600 --> 01:12:35,080
Speaker 1: Follow the podcast on social media at dead as the

1437
01:12:35,160 --> 01:12:36,680
Speaker 1: podcasts and never miss a Thing