Speaker 1: Forever.
Speaker 2: We're gonna get right into it. Hey Marie, what's going on?
Speaker 3: How are you doing? You're wearing your favorite shirt with
Speaker 3: your face on it, and I like, yes, you.
Speaker 2: Know, just self care, self love, feeling myself.
Speaker 3: This is a natural me on my face. You ain't
Speaker 3: got no makeup on in that photograph? What you say?
Speaker 4: No?
Speaker 3: I have some massk on, maybe a little bit.
Speaker 2: Of concealer to da have a foundation loss? Yeah?
Speaker 3: Clear mascara?
Speaker 2: How you doing?
Speaker 5: Real?
Speaker 2: It seems like you have a hoodie on this. It
Speaker 2: is Vicen.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about it.
Speaker 2: It's going on with that?
Speaker 3: Well, you know, the show got canceled, Like I said,
Speaker 3: it was gonna you did? You kept putting that in it.
Speaker 3: But the show was really, really really bad.
Speaker 2: Can you say that? Did?
Speaker 1: You did?
Speaker 3: You said it while I was there. They knew the
Speaker 3: show was bad.
Speaker 5: So I got canceled, and you know, I thought I
Speaker 5: was gonna have at least five more paychecks comeing, So.
Speaker 3: Trying to figure out what that is.
Speaker 5: Because everybody thought we was gonna work till like I thought.
Speaker 5: I was like, oh, they might not bring it back,
Speaker 5: but we'll finish in a couple of weeks, right, And
Speaker 5: I'm like, oh, I'm taking this trip. I'm going to
Speaker 5: that place. I'm going to this place. And then they
Speaker 5: were like, actually, that's it, And how do we feel
Speaker 5: when you got that?
Speaker 3: We had the lowest rated show on the lowest rated network.
Speaker 5: So I feel like I should be in the Guinness Book,
Speaker 5: a World Records or something, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, probably possibly?
Speaker 3: What could you have.
Speaker 2: Done for it to be better?
Speaker 3: What? What could I.
Speaker 5: Since I did all that I could and it was bad.
Speaker 5: You attended the taping. You you saw that I was
Speaker 5: putting in like a little baby effort, but like you know,
Speaker 5: it's like it's like you need surgery, and you tell
Speaker 5: me what band aid I could have put on it?
Speaker 3: Like since you got shot, it's like, well, you know,
Speaker 3: I put more band aids. No, it was just.
Speaker 2: You know, no, I saw you, and I was like
Speaker 2: I saw a couple of episodes and I was like,
Speaker 2: Marie's a star.
Speaker 3: I's a couple of episodes. I didn't even watch it.
Speaker 2: I watched a couple of episodes because I was just like,
Speaker 2: you know, let me see what my friend is up to.
Speaker 2: Let me see what what's she doing over there? And
Speaker 2: I was like, ah, she don't look like she want
Speaker 2: to be there.
Speaker 3: It's all right.
Speaker 2: So it's all right though she getting the money.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I also I got to tell you I
Speaker 5: stole these pants from Vice. Good for you, you know here
Speaker 5: I am, you know out here. Just back to my myself,
Speaker 5: my old self, old poor stealing self.
Speaker 3: No, first of all, set it off self.
Speaker 2: You're not poor, and I'm sure people are in your dms.
Speaker 2: You're gonna get booked.
Speaker 3: I'm not worried about it. I'm in a good place
Speaker 3: right now.
Speaker 5: Like i feel like the show was bad, but the
Speaker 5: show the money was cute, and I'm in a I'm
Speaker 5: in a good place.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: How are you doing? You at a job? Now?
Speaker 5: I lose a job and then you get a job, Like,
Speaker 5: what's happened is this? Remember when I had a man
Speaker 5: and you were single and then I left him and
Speaker 5: then you went into a five year relationship.
Speaker 3: I know that, But this is not gonna be That's
Speaker 3: not gonna happen here.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I have a job, and it's weird getting
Speaker 2: up every day and you know, being there and not
Speaker 2: falling asleep.
Speaker 3: It's just strange. I'm glad that I have a job.
Speaker 3: I'm really happy. I'm very grateful, are you, cause you'll
Speaker 3: be complaining on the ground.
Speaker 2: Oh fuck, come on, now, do I complain. I complain
Speaker 2: about being on time because I feel like that's the
Speaker 2: hardest thing about being in New York is getting somewhere.
Speaker 2: I mean, our guest was very late, but he's also black,
Speaker 2: so duh.
Speaker 3: Yeah, he doesn't care.
Speaker 2: He was he thought we were going to do our
Speaker 2: podcast in a bodega, so he was like, oh, I
Speaker 2: don't need to show up.
Speaker 3: He came in here looking for the cat.
Speaker 2: Yeah, he was like, what y'all got ramen noodles here?
Speaker 2: He didn't even respect us. So it's fine. Yeah, I'm
Speaker 2: glad you have a job.
Speaker 1: Is that my introduction or I'm gonna go back to
Speaker 1: sit here quietly?
Speaker 3: I'm glad I have a job.
Speaker 2: I thought that having a job would fix some of
Speaker 2: the problems that I have.
Speaker 3: What problems for?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I need to do better in my relationship. And
Speaker 2: I was just like the money coming, and she just like,
Speaker 2: I don't give a fuck about the money. I do
Speaker 2: care about the money, but it's like, you still need
Speaker 2: to contribute more.
Speaker 5: Oh, sis, you're not You're not paying a light bill. No,
Speaker 5: I'm not carrying all the groceries in the house.
Speaker 2: Like what she said, I don't use the Instacart, that
Speaker 2: I don't take care of the cats, that I don't car.
Speaker 3: Oh, so she's saying that you don't be buying no grocery.
Speaker 2: But if I'm working a day job, you.
Speaker 5: Want this job for like three days, you can't since
Speaker 5: you can order the instacart on your phone on the
Speaker 5: trade on the way to work.
Speaker 3: No, I'm posting content.
Speaker 2: I don't have wow for Instacart.
Speaker 3: You need to be off Instagram and on the insta carts. Okay,
Speaker 3: come through, Luther.
Speaker 5: Okay, look sis you how do you think the food
Speaker 5: in your house gets there?
Speaker 2: I know how it gets there, Adrian, instacarts instacarts it.
Speaker 3: Oh, but you the card that is if I inser.
Speaker 2: Car, y'all can't trust me with food because if I.
Speaker 5: Ordered the food, you're just gonna get Lucky charms, yes,
Speaker 5: and like cut whole milk.
Speaker 3: You're gonna get like home alone food.
Speaker 1: Yes, Dorito's.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna just get all. I'm gonna have Hawaiian punch.
Speaker 2: I brought a Wian punch in the house and she
Speaker 2: told me to get out.
Speaker 1: Okay, Yeah, I want to put you out to this.
Speaker 5: That is some waiting to exhale level, like betrayal.
Speaker 3: Right there.
Speaker 2: Yeah. She she bought cum quats and I asked her
Speaker 2: what side this is? One more time she bought cum
Speaker 2: quats and I said, what what is a kum quat?
Speaker 1: There?
Speaker 2: There's the They are the devil's fruit, that's what they are.
Speaker 2: They look they look like a little itty bitty orange,
Speaker 2: but then when you put it in your mouth, it
Speaker 2: tastes like a lemon head. It's so sour.
Speaker 3: It's not handy.
Speaker 2: No no, no, it's fruit, okay, but it just it's
Speaker 2: not good.
Speaker 3: Let me see, I don't know what where does she
Speaker 3: get these?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 3: A kum quat? Actually it looks like a tomato.
Speaker 2: It's weird.
Speaker 3: That's weird, y'all doing weird gay things.
Speaker 2: She got a come, she got kumquats, and she got
Speaker 2: us a bidet, and I was like, babe, we live
Speaker 2: in Bushwick, like Washwick bidet.
Speaker 3: It's like a Craigslist washer dryer.
Speaker 2: Like, I said, why are we doing this the most
Speaker 2: we're we're here, we're off the jay train, Babe, Let's
Speaker 2: wait until we get into our new place.
Speaker 3: Is clean, but your fridge is empty.
Speaker 2: I don't use it.
Speaker 3: You don't use the bidet. No, I don't want my
Speaker 3: butt the wetness.
Speaker 2: That's gross.
Speaker 5: Oh so you just got a crunchy butt, just the
Speaker 5: dry crunchy. But you got like like you know, peanut
Speaker 5: butter that has the nuts in it, still like the chunks.
Speaker 2: But shut the fuck up, Marie.
Speaker 3: Do you don't know what my butt is?
Speaker 2: Said?
Speaker 3: You want to see it? Actually, I feel like for
Speaker 3: the listeners, I need to come on, whoop it.
Speaker 2: Out Haitian homophobic Marie, Just tell.
Speaker 5: This is full of this is content. You talking about
Speaker 5: kump quats. You're being grossed, So like, let's strow with
Speaker 5: your butt.
Speaker 3: I didn't take a shower this month, so I can't
Speaker 3: what does that mean?
Speaker 5: Don't look at me like that like a shower this
Speaker 5: one of you pooped in your dreams. You're trying to say, what,
Speaker 5: so you showered last night? I did and didn't shower
Speaker 5: this morning, right, so in there you feel like you
Speaker 5: needed to wash your butt?
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, because you you know you swam in.
Speaker 3: Your butt because you need to stop being the cum quats.
Speaker 2: Anyway, I feel like this is a great way to
Speaker 2: speaking of kum quat. Yeah, intro our guests in this evening.
Speaker 2: He is a little kum quat actually.
Speaker 3: Perfect comes a little bit of quat. Yes, he is
Speaker 3: our problematic expert today. Give it up for Jack Knight. Jack,
Speaker 3: what's up, bitch?
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly how he would start.
Speaker 3: Have you ever had a come?
Speaker 1: I haven't.
Speaker 6: When you're saying that it was really funny. You guys
Speaker 6: are good talking to each other.
Speaker 3: Well, we're actually friends.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but wait, let me tell the listeners about Jack Knight.
Speaker 2: He's an incredible writer. He writes on big Mouth. You know,
Speaker 2: he did a little Netflix quarter hour whatever the fun
Speaker 2: what was it?
Speaker 3: Quarter water?
Speaker 6: It was just like it was like eight minutes. Yeah, nigga,
Speaker 6: it was like it was just two late nights sets
Speaker 6: put together.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's exactly what it was. It was good to
Speaker 2: see you on Netflix. I was like looking a friend.
Speaker 1: It was good.
Speaker 6: It was a fucking fun time. All the comics were
Speaker 6: a lot of my friends, a lot of niggas bombed.
Speaker 1: It was funny.
Speaker 3: So what like, so you've been doing comedy for how long?
Speaker 1: About six years? Now?
Speaker 3: Wait, you've been doing six years?
Speaker 2: I'm six years?
Speaker 5: Sure, Wow, you're really further than I would like to
Speaker 5: be since you want.
Speaker 3: A bedan but you're doing welfare.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they were both in the same garbage ass room.
Speaker 2: Wow did you say that?
Speaker 3: And Forever Forever Dog.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know nothing about the podcasting universe.
Speaker 1: I might be just wrong on it.
Speaker 3: Forever Dog, you're on.
Speaker 1: By the way. By the way, I want to say
Speaker 1: this about the Vice Land show.
Speaker 6: I did watch one episode and one episode I watched
Speaker 6: it when you guys had Charlemagne on. Yeah, And I
Speaker 6: was watching it and I was texting Quentin about it.
Speaker 6: Quentin Bean, We're both watching it at the same time.
Speaker 6: And it was Charlotte was obviously in his autopilot I'm
Speaker 6: trying to make sure I sell my book mode and
Speaker 6: I was kind of like looking down on my phone
Speaker 6: that I looked up and Charlatmae was like obviously going
Speaker 6: through his rehears ship. Yeah, and you go, you go,
Speaker 6: I don't give a fuck about no therapy.
Speaker 2: That is Marie.
Speaker 1: The best thing.
Speaker 5: I didn't use those words, but I did say and
Speaker 5: then I thought we cut the commercial and we were still.
Speaker 7: I didn't know what to say to you. You just
Speaker 7: said that, Like I said, I didn't do that ship.
Speaker 7: I said, I don't believe in therapy. I said, I
Speaker 7: have church. I'm ignorant, and then they were like, do
Speaker 7: you go to church?
Speaker 6: And I was like no, but like, you know, for
Speaker 6: the reason I'm here. That's like I funk with that
Speaker 6: type of ship. Like, if problematic is done right, is
Speaker 6: it's the best version of comedy.
Speaker 3: Problematic can be entertaining.
Speaker 6: But too many people do it poorly and it sullies
Speaker 6: it up for the people who are good at it.
Speaker 2: Can you explain to our listeners what is being problematic?
Speaker 6: Are you I don't know, just saying taboo things to
Speaker 6: get a rise out of people, Like is.
Speaker 3: That rn PC?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 6: I mean I think there's like, you know, I like
Speaker 6: scary movies. It's like that type of same feeling. We're
Speaker 6: just like a pop in your stomach that makes you
Speaker 6: laugh and you feel like you're you're a knotty boy.
Speaker 3: For laughing at it, and you like scary movies.
Speaker 6: Yeah, Like the same feeling you get from a scary
Speaker 6: movie with some pops and you like enjoy that, Like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 6: that's that's how I feel about.
Speaker 3: Kodak.
Speaker 5: Black looks, he sounds, how he looks, and he thinks
Speaker 5: how problematic?
Speaker 3: Like everything about him. He looks wrong and he sounds.
Speaker 6: Wrong, but like, bro, all of his friends are locked
Speaker 6: up or dead, So what do you think He's acting
Speaker 6: the way he's acting.
Speaker 3: Because he can't read and his mother don't give a
Speaker 3: damn about him.
Speaker 6: This is why why be problematic? Because because once you
Speaker 6: give everyone that what's what? What's wrong with Kodak, they're
Speaker 6: like him. All his friends are dead.
Speaker 5: Always okay, his friends are dead, so he's still gonna
Speaker 5: be a trash person and say no he's.
Speaker 1: Said and he's acting out because he's fucking said.
Speaker 5: But the reason why I don't like him is because
Speaker 5: he's not talented.
Speaker 6: Wow, you just don't know what you're talking about when
Speaker 6: he's don't you don't even know.
Speaker 3: He's literally just mumbling yes.
Speaker 5: But like to me, there are better people at making
Speaker 5: music that we should be listening to, But kodaks on
Speaker 5: everybody's song like he's not everybody who can speak. I
Speaker 5: feel like you think is a better rapper?
Speaker 2: Is better?
Speaker 6: The stallion, your ages, everybody, Yes.
Speaker 5: They don't know what these kids is out here listening
Speaker 5: to this hippity hop.
Speaker 2: I mean, Jack, even though you are like, are you
Speaker 2: trying to defend, like, see, that's problematic.
Speaker 1: Why he's the.
Speaker 2: One who was like Lauren London, she got a year
Speaker 2: to be all crying and ship and then.
Speaker 1: I'm a hollow.
Speaker 5: It's like he said, exactly, like I wouldn't be raising
Speaker 5: in the sun after she won't let him use her service.
Speaker 1: Exactly.
Speaker 2: Okay, he said.
Speaker 6: He said he wants to be as good as a
Speaker 6: man as Nipsy so he can one day get him
Speaker 6: a wife like Lauren London.
Speaker 3: That's what he said.
Speaker 6: We both just said, you don't know what he's saying.
Speaker 6: And now you're telling me what he's saying.
Speaker 5: No, you're telling me, Yeah, you're telling me you watched
Speaker 5: the video, the.
Speaker 1: Whole video, not the snippet, the whole video.
Speaker 3: I'm getting a one yame down. It's like, what that's
Speaker 3: what he sounds like. That's not what cod Black said.
Speaker 6: That's the that's what he said it You only watched
Speaker 6: the snippet of the clip before.
Speaker 5: We saw the part where he says she got a
Speaker 5: year before he tried to put his dick.
Speaker 3: In our butt.
Speaker 1: That's funny, Marie.
Speaker 2: He did not say that.
Speaker 3: I mean it's funny.
Speaker 1: It's funny. Literally takes that to Zach the day.
Speaker 3: Of Well, that's because y'all both problematic, y'all, Yeah they are.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're not stupid enough to just put it on live.
Speaker 1: He just does. He just doesn't. He just he puts
Speaker 1: it out there.
Speaker 3: How do you record somebody's live?
Speaker 6: He know? What he does is like most rappers do.
Speaker 6: They just put live on and they just live their life.
Speaker 3: That's how you maintain it. But I'm saying, how.
Speaker 6: You just go live and literally be like if she
Speaker 6: put her phone right there and you just had your
Speaker 6: whole day.
Speaker 5: We should we should start going live for the podcast
Speaker 5: when we're recording in here?
Speaker 2: Should we?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: I agree with that, y'all. Skin is to be just sound.
Speaker 2: Now wait did you did you hear that? Guys? He
Speaker 2: said our skin too good to just be you know,
Speaker 2: on sound. So I feel like that's myr. What do
Speaker 2: we need?
Speaker 5: My microphone is acting up today? How I make this tight?
Speaker 2: Well, Marie, knowing you, I feel like everything else is tight,
Speaker 2: So it's super mic is not tight? You're okay?
Speaker 5: But you know I got all this time since I'm
Speaker 5: unemployed now to be a hoe, So this might you
Speaker 5: just this is I'm saying this might be the year
Speaker 5: that happened.
Speaker 2: I feel like Jack's gotta be now. Jack is on
Speaker 2: his way to say something problematic to you.
Speaker 5: Oh go ahead, Jack, let me go ahead and go
Speaker 5: live so I could Andrew, can you have me tighten this?
Speaker 3: Jack?
Speaker 1: What's over under Marie sucking dick?
Speaker 5: Well, I'm gonna say bad to think it's bad.
Speaker 6: I think you played too much. And pictures who play
Speaker 6: too much can't like this. She'll pull your dick out
Speaker 6: of hold, be like, what is this thing? She'll pull
Speaker 6: it out and be like on the whole of the dick?
Speaker 3: Where am I putting my phone? Listen, I laughed during sex.
Speaker 2: That's how you know the fact that somebody has like
Speaker 2: fucking d d from Dexter Oh my god, you know
Speaker 2: I freaking love dex Fel's laboratory.
Speaker 3: Wait, I can't get.
Speaker 1: You on it, but I think it's about you though.
Speaker 3: I mean it's about us. It's about us. It's about you.
Speaker 2: And do you have any like words of advice for
Speaker 2: Maris of advice?
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, I really just want you to do it.
Speaker 6: Just go yeah, because like fully, because now you have
Speaker 6: this platform, with this and with NNU factor, you could
Speaker 6: be getting dick every single Sunday on the Lord's Day.
Speaker 3: Only want to get good.
Speaker 1: No, that's not how works.
Speaker 3: Yes, but but see that's why it's it's hard.
Speaker 6: You need I don't want Dick makes women great, you know.
Speaker 6: I mean she Dick's been in Laura London before she
Speaker 6: found Nipsey.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, that is problematic. I don't just say that.
Speaker 1: And then this is this is why I frustrated. That's
Speaker 1: why I frustrated.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 2: Wait, say what you just said down here with her
Speaker 2: is up put on. She's been with little Wayne, which
Speaker 2: is which is thin.
Speaker 1: It was molested ki king of Dicks.
Speaker 6: I'm just saying like, there's a lot of women who
Speaker 6: only want good shade butter niggas, and then they don't
Speaker 6: know how to suck dick or take dick because they
Speaker 6: take they fucking shade butter niggas. You want to ashy
Speaker 6: niggas to be able to be good at fucking No.
Speaker 3: I only want butter penis. I don't want Ashley Dick.
Speaker 1: Now, I'm a grown up, and that's why you give
Speaker 1: head terribly.
Speaker 2: Okay, Now I'll be like Marie, you got to show
Speaker 2: them that you're.
Speaker 3: Not mad at you.
Speaker 1: Gotta ass.
Speaker 3: But me being a whole, I don't have to eat.
Speaker 1: I don't Sidney, Yeah, that is weird. You don't use
Speaker 1: your beday she has a day.
Speaker 3: I don't need to. I don't need to.
Speaker 2: But Jack, I feel like you would be terrible to
Speaker 2: have sex with as well.
Speaker 1: Phenomenal Zack Jack, Zach Jack.
Speaker 5: You seem like the type of person that when you
Speaker 5: have sex, you like do like wrestling moves and like
Speaker 5: legit be like you put a bitch in a and
Speaker 5: ahead and like and you tap your elbow and then
Speaker 5: you like land on, like you'll break somebody's bed and leave. Yes,
Speaker 5: I feel like yes that No, I don't think you're
Speaker 5: not not breaking it from like actual, I think you'll
Speaker 5: just break somebody's bed and then be like your bed
Speaker 5: fell when you was in the shower and then you.
Speaker 6: Gotta turn this off. You can't always be on antics.
Speaker 6: I know there's like a sensual sexual side to you, Marie.
Speaker 3: Wow, he's trying to get you open, Marie. This is
Speaker 3: this is how people put the gyms on, Marie.
Speaker 2: They'll be like, hold on, but I see something good
Speaker 2: in your mind and then they slide in your DMS
Speaker 2: and be like I want to just take you out
Speaker 2: one night, one night.
Speaker 5: They're not sliding in my dms like this all I
Speaker 5: dare you to go on one day? She gets the
Speaker 5: job done. That's because you got an Ashy did bro
Speaker 5: ash did makes presence, Marie, I dare you go on
Speaker 5: a date with with Jack Knight.
Speaker 3: That's what's not gonna happen. To find out, this is.
Speaker 6: What the date we'd be slap boxes ability outside of
Speaker 6: a red lobster nigga talk about the biscuits.
Speaker 1: We got seven, we got four three that's stupid.
Speaker 3: I didn't bring my card. Neither we would. We would
Speaker 3: try to dine and.
Speaker 2: As we got two people who yell on the mic
Speaker 2: this is gonna be allowed, and.
Speaker 3: Then you yell on the mic also actually no voice
Speaker 3: you go next to y'all.
Speaker 5: Wow, that's that's because you guys are trying to get
Speaker 5: me to date Ashy dick dudes, not date, just hook
Speaker 5: up with Uh, I'm taking Jack.
Speaker 3: When you have sex with women, how do you turn off? This?
Speaker 3: This and who?
Speaker 6: Women are very excited when I turned off because they
Speaker 6: think they have something special.
Speaker 3: That's true.
Speaker 6: So what I do is like I just I'm all
Speaker 6: antics and crazy, and I do all this ship and
Speaker 6: then when I'm one of one, I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, yeah, you know, I just do that for the
Speaker 1: people before you.
Speaker 2: Man, I seen the ship you're making your instant pont nigga, Like,
Speaker 2: that's not you turn it off. What he's He makes
Speaker 2: food in the instant pot, and I feel like he
Speaker 2: does the instant pot like a crockpot.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah sometimes, Wow, you be crockpott.
Speaker 3: Yeah you don't seem like the type that would crock pot.
Speaker 6: What is the appropriate way that you want me to
Speaker 6: put the ship in different pots and pants and wash
Speaker 6: all that ship?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: No, you niggas are weird. My boss Nick Crole uses
Speaker 6: the insta pot. I use the insta pot. Rich niggas do,
Speaker 6: rich nigga.
Speaker 5: Sh it sounds like the thing that all the white
Speaker 5: people put in front of their toilets so they can
Speaker 5: poop with their knees up.
Speaker 3: Insta pot, That's what that sounds like.
Speaker 1: I feel like you don't know what anything is. Wow,
Speaker 1: this is beautiful. I really am a good first date.
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is this is exactly is here? Okay, So instapot,
Speaker 3: I don't know what the hell that is? Uh, crackpot.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you can take rise, you can take vegetables, you
Speaker 6: can take anything. Pot So do you go cook your
Speaker 6: little meat on it in the grill, lit fry?
Speaker 1: Whatever? What's going on? It's going on?
Speaker 3: This is this is Jack Knight. Do you think guys
Speaker 3: that Maurice should go.
Speaker 1: On a date again.
Speaker 5: I'm taking Yes, I also Sidney, I t him taken
Speaker 5: by my unemployment.
Speaker 1: No one's here to date Marie. We're here to get Marie.
Speaker 5: Dick's a queen as okay, So as somebody who's out
Speaker 5: here just slaying the vagina, I'm not again taking yeah,
Speaker 5: taking care of business as somebody who's getting pussy regularly.
Speaker 3: What can I do to up my chance of getting
Speaker 3: more dick? How about that?
Speaker 1: You get dick? Though?
Speaker 6: What is this?
Speaker 1: What is this conversation?
Speaker 2: Why?
Speaker 6: Why are we let's having a mature adult conversation conversation?
Speaker 6: You get dick and you're really mad about the fact
Speaker 6: about the dick that you get. Maybe you need to
Speaker 6: work in yourself.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to I'm trying to be a hoe more dicks.
Speaker 1: Of dicks, Just be a ho.
Speaker 3: Yes, but we're talking about okay, you.
Speaker 1: Know what we don't understand. I'm missing something I feel.
Speaker 2: Like y'all are just oil and oil and water.
Speaker 1: Y'all are just the same with our chairs because we can't.
Speaker 3: He said, stop fighting niggas. Yes, I'm not fighting anybody.
Speaker 3: I'm that you're abusing men. That's why you're not getting dick.
Speaker 2: You hit them too much for them to be like
Speaker 2: inside of you whatever.
Speaker 6: Like the type you bag her cup and she socks
Speaker 6: you the chest. It says, good game, had a good time.
Speaker 3: Let's reel this back in and back to problematic.
Speaker 2: Problematic, jack I feel like you say a lot of
Speaker 2: things in your stand up that I'd be like, you
Speaker 2: can put off because you are you, and you you
Speaker 2: are great in stand up. But there's some things that
Speaker 2: I've I've heard you say that I'm like, have you
Speaker 2: got any pushback from anything that?
Speaker 5: What?
Speaker 3: What's one this thing you think you've ever said on stage?
Speaker 1: Yeah? The other night at PD show, Yes, I.
Speaker 3: Was there, Okay, Sidney, the listeners wasn't there.
Speaker 6: I said, I said, it's really unfair to compare the
Speaker 6: talents of Michael Jackson and Beyonce because one of them
Speaker 6: had to deal with the looming fact that they liked
Speaker 6: to fuck children and a whole table of Pete's family,
Speaker 6: and I don't I think they're like Dominican, what are
Speaker 6: they Haitian?
Speaker 1: They're all black and older.
Speaker 6: And I wanted this long thing about how the most
Speaker 6: talented people ever usually were pedophiles, and how white booty
Speaker 6: hole does a lot for black men like Tyler Creator
Speaker 6: funks a lot of white boys, and Frank Ocean fucks
Speaker 6: white boys and Michael Jackson white boys.
Speaker 1: Is what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: There's something special within the white boy rectum, black men
Speaker 6: unlocked within themselves, and nobody enjoyed that.
Speaker 3: There's something special within the white and black men.
Speaker 1: You said, need to access it.
Speaker 2: And our producer gay hot intern Andrews.
Speaker 1: Like Farlane, what do you think, black dress? What is
Speaker 1: he doing now? What is he doing?
Speaker 3: Okay? Wow?
Speaker 1: Wait you fuck the black dude name calling?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 1: And what is he doing professionally now? Software?
Speaker 3: That still feels like a good job.
Speaker 1: Man, that's a good job. You see what his boodio
Speaker 1: does for the black community.
Speaker 3: You body holding that, Andrew?
Speaker 6: Wow, I'm just saying, bro, it's a lot of a
Speaker 6: lot of our favorite black artists who have sex with men,
Speaker 6: Marlon Brando, Richard Pryor.
Speaker 5: So I'm not understand what you're saying. You're saying that
Speaker 5: in order for black men to be successful, they got
Speaker 5: to bang.
Speaker 1: No, that's not what I'm saying.
Speaker 6: I'm saying it's statistically proving that black men who fuck
Speaker 6: white boys end up being great.
Speaker 3: Statistically, where are your statistics.
Speaker 6: Michael Jackson, uh tyl the creator, Richard pryor Steve Lacy.
Speaker 1: I don't know all the game, niggas.
Speaker 5: It's other black dudes banging like it's Ashley white dudes too,
Speaker 5: it's actually white dude.
Speaker 1: Yeah, what what we're talking about? Booty hole? I talk about.
Speaker 3: God, booty hole is not gay.
Speaker 1: No, that's access.
Speaker 2: This This episode is definitely off the rails, and I
Speaker 2: love it.
Speaker 5: And I'm just saying, you, guys, okay, let me think
Speaker 5: of another I'm we're trying to get other problematic jokes
Speaker 5: out of you, but you're trying to like explain to
Speaker 5: us why this joke is true.
Speaker 1: It's not a joke. I think it's true.
Speaker 3: See, that's why you're really problematic.
Speaker 2: Everybody said, mm, like, we don't even want to dig
Speaker 2: a barre hole than it is the white hole that
Speaker 2: you're actually talking about. I don't want to dig it.
Speaker 1: When is uh, when is this coming out?
Speaker 3: Probably this week?
Speaker 1: This week?
Speaker 6: Okay, so well Friday, Friday, okay, Wednesday. They're doing like
Speaker 6: the little Comedy Central thing. We're like letting us do
Speaker 6: like seven minutes and put on there whatever, and they
Speaker 6: make you like send in your jokes.
Speaker 3: Yes.
Speaker 1: And one of the jokes I sent in was the
Speaker 1: squirt joke. Yes, and they said yes.
Speaker 3: They said yes to your score.
Speaker 1: They said yes to the scort joke.
Speaker 6: So at one point on television, they're gonna let me say,
Speaker 6: have you ever eaten pussy in a bit?
Speaker 1: Squirt in your face? And you feel like you want
Speaker 1: a Nickelodeon Award?
Speaker 5: And that's it's a good try to say that. Very problematic.
Speaker 5: It's a great joke, very problematic. Problematic, it's problematic either.
Speaker 5: Problematic is like things that you say that people.
Speaker 3: I love. Award you got fly, Yeah, the problem is
Speaker 3: that's good. You did well. Your little green don't get
Speaker 3: out of my house? You won get get out of Yeah?
Speaker 4: Wow?
Speaker 3: Then crazy kid?
Speaker 2: Yeah you haven't you have another joke?
Speaker 1: That's uh? Was there one that bothered you? Even if
Speaker 1: it's off stage? Just some ship. I don't know, because
Speaker 1: you guys as much as.
Speaker 6: You guys like to pretend you're not problematic. Off off
Speaker 6: the you guys are maniacs. Me yes, I think the
Speaker 6: maniac City.
Speaker 3: I don't even know how we're friends.
Speaker 5: Well no, Sidney said, I'm a maniac. She don't know
Speaker 5: why we're friends. Means merch right there, guys, maniac whodies
Speaker 5: come in spring twenty twenty.
Speaker 3: What what what have we said Jack that.
Speaker 6: You've been like, well, it's like it's the reason why
Speaker 6: you guys work like you're a psychopath and she's a sociopath,
Speaker 6: and so you just are just out loud like I
Speaker 6: don't think anybody should read. And then you're just you'll
Speaker 6: call me a face on me at two in the morning,
Speaker 6: being like she's insane.
Speaker 1: Social path. Yes, I think she's terrifyingly crazy.
Speaker 3: Pick up every time she face times you with t
Speaker 3: A Gonna says.
Speaker 1: Some funny crazy shit. I think the most part.
Speaker 2: Jack picks up well one he won. He's like, are
Speaker 2: you okay?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 2: Are you all right?
Speaker 3: You will start with okay, Yeah, I told you she's
Speaker 3: in an emergency situation.
Speaker 1: She facetimes show if need be. I'm first I know.
Speaker 2: Jack got got the money on lock so I know
Speaker 2: that that big mouth money if I was big mouth
Speaker 2: net fax money jack a a any like two grand
Speaker 2: real quick vemo. No, I feel like you would help
Speaker 2: me out. Man.
Speaker 1: I got a light skinned mama and light skinned girl. Dog.
Speaker 1: I'm broke.
Speaker 3: You are like skin mom.
Speaker 2: He's on the record, he's like, I ain't got no money.
Speaker 2: I can't help you.
Speaker 5: But off the record, I was like, off the record,
Speaker 5: he'll slide it to you and take your time with
Speaker 5: paying back.
Speaker 3: Yeah, like no rush on paying it back.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love that.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Okay, So have you ever said something problematic that like
Speaker 5: got you uh dumped or you got into a fight
Speaker 5: because of it?
Speaker 3: Because I feel like.
Speaker 6: I think I perfected problematic in like high school in
Speaker 6: middle school, because I've never been suspended yet, never been expelled,
Speaker 6: really never gotten attention before, never got detention, never got
Speaker 6: attention before, never got attention.
Speaker 3: I mean even I've.
Speaker 1: Gotten I was always tardy, always skipped class.
Speaker 6: No, I would just like I would always get everyone
Speaker 6: to the line and then be able to back pedal.
Speaker 1: Back right before.
Speaker 5: It was like, Okay, I don't like this, nigga, But
Speaker 5: every time, every single time, I feel like you're somebody
Speaker 5: that like every day, will like push that line a
Speaker 5: little bit.
Speaker 1: Right, making the line further.
Speaker 3: Fuck you never got detention. I don't believe it.
Speaker 1: I don't believe it as my mom, you liing dead ass.
Speaker 1: You lie to your mom and now you lie, you
Speaker 1: lie to.
Speaker 5: Your light skinned behove and now you lie into our
Speaker 5: brown skin asses.
Speaker 2: But you're saying you okay, so forget about school. Seriously, recently,
Speaker 2: you haven't said anything that has gotten you in trouble
Speaker 2: with maybe a close friend.
Speaker 6: Or work being serious or being like playing no serious,
Speaker 6: like I mean you. I've definitely seriously cuss niggers out
Speaker 6: and they didn't like me. But I've never like jokingly
Speaker 6: gotten in trouble.
Speaker 2: Now, somebody said that I have. Somebody said at work
Speaker 2: that you work at you will say some stuff and
Speaker 2: I'm like, now, my brother, Jack, now you all right now,
Speaker 2: I want to be on your side, but you you're
Speaker 2: talking crazy.
Speaker 1: He said that I won't say, wait, this is that
Speaker 1: big mo Yes, oh man, that's funny.
Speaker 3: Somebody said that. They say that a big mouth.
Speaker 1: No, no, no, there's so yeah. I can see that.
Speaker 6: You said, sure the room is like seventy like gay
Speaker 6: diggers are white it's they'll we'll be like on a
Speaker 6: roll and I'll be like and I'll blurt out something
Speaker 6: and they'll be like.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I feel like, I'm sure you've said something jokingly,
Speaker 5: and because people get offended by jokes, Like sometimes you're
Speaker 5: just going back and forth and y'all are joking on
Speaker 5: each other and then someone says something and you're like, legit,
Speaker 5: get upset about it. You're saying that that's never happened
Speaker 5: to you. You've never made a joke that somebody was like,
Speaker 5: too soon.
Speaker 6: But I know, get in trouble for it. It's more
Speaker 6: just like, oh, but that's him, Like I get to
Speaker 6: just get it. I'm like Stuart little nigga. No one
Speaker 6: cares what I'm doing.
Speaker 3: I've never seen Stuart little.
Speaker 7: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Really better than a white mouse in a card again,
Speaker 2: No thank you.
Speaker 3: I'm not the demo for the He has a little car.
Speaker 1: He'll be with people here.
Speaker 3: He was chopping shallots and washing his dirty ass rad
Speaker 3: hands out the fucking shallo.
Speaker 1: It's a funny word.
Speaker 2: It's a good word. It comes out of Marie's mouth.
Speaker 3: Shallots, shallots.
Speaker 6: Marie says every word with an explamation point after each letter.
Speaker 3: Really shallots. No, you may sound like a cartoon. Yes,
Speaker 3: you think I'm a Carson.
Speaker 2: Hey, you got to connect your big mouth.
Speaker 5: Yeah, it's not no black girls in that cartoons. Oh yeah,
Speaker 5: but she she got a white mom, don't she. Yeah,
Speaker 5: she'd be wearing like, you know, birken stocks and stuff
Speaker 5: to the.
Speaker 2: School, Marie, you wear God, why are you lying?
Speaker 3: I love birkenstocks you have.
Speaker 1: You don't stay solid on anything.
Speaker 3: I love her.
Speaker 1: You just bounce around.
Speaker 3: I just forgot you heard it. There's not like a
Speaker 3: bottom question.
Speaker 2: Jack.
Speaker 3: You're very loose with sexuality. You talk about it a lot.
Speaker 2: Stand that you're fluid, like you make jokes insinuating that
Speaker 2: you you would be gay, but you're not because.
Speaker 1: I'm just not try shit.
Speaker 2: Okay, okay, well let's.
Speaker 3: Let's talk about what you try. Because you're having a
Speaker 3: great career.
Speaker 5: So if by your standards, you've been touching a lot
Speaker 5: of white boy boody, because you said that, like they
Speaker 5: ave they a lot of stuff for black men's.
Speaker 3: Career, we're real cute right now.
Speaker 6: Jealous, I'm like jealous, the niggas would be fucking white
Speaker 6: boy booty.
Speaker 1: I'd like I see that that what you just said.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I can't believe he said that.
Speaker 6: No, but I'm so fucking straight and it's so gay, Like,
Speaker 6: I hate how straight I am. I wish I could
Speaker 6: do all that gay ship because they be having fun.
Speaker 6: You've been to gay people's stuff, gay.
Speaker 3: People still you don't even know people style it.
Speaker 1: Bro having fun, Bro, they'd be doing a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of ship straight straight niggas. But you exact nigga gay too.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you guys are both pretty nigga kiss.
Speaker 1: A man on TV.
Speaker 3: The checks were cute. Checks are really nice. Also show
Speaker 3: nobody was watching the show.
Speaker 6: But also like a lot of That's why a lot
Speaker 6: of our fluidity comes from the fact that it's problematic
Speaker 6: and like it, like we are making fun of like
Speaker 6: homophobia in the black community by doing gay ship.
Speaker 2: Oh so now you're a crusader for the gays.
Speaker 1: I'm the Harvey Milk of this generation.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna agree and stand my ally.
Speaker 3: I am the har I disagree.
Speaker 6: Harvey Milk, Kurt Cobain, Jack knag Zack Fox Absolutely.
Speaker 3: Jack Knight Zack Foxes. Wow, Andrew, do you you agree?
Speaker 5: No?
Speaker 3: He said that you guys are allies.
Speaker 2: Andrew thinks you're cute.
Speaker 3: That's what that is.
Speaker 2: If you were ugly and missing her tooth, he'd be
Speaker 2: like that nigga kill him, now.
Speaker 3: Kill that. That's exactly what Andrew would say. Kill that nigga.
Speaker 3: Now that's March. Kill that nigga.
Speaker 5: Now, hoodie's available for the fall season coming out. If
Speaker 5: we don't have zip ups and we're gonna have.
Speaker 6: Short I need a crew neck of that motherfucker right now.
Speaker 6: I need a crew neck of kill that motherfucker. But
Speaker 6: just with his face, just like kind of with the
Speaker 6: headphones on, disgruntle.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we need to do little emojis of him being
Speaker 2: upset in the in the studio.
Speaker 5: H Well, let's talk a little bit of who you are,
Speaker 5: why you're this rude? Like are you an only child?
Speaker 5: Were you a latchkey kid?
Speaker 1: Yep? Wow, you're kind of reading me for Phil.
Speaker 3: I mean, did you have a relationship with your dad?
Speaker 1: Nope?
Speaker 3: Nope, okay, okay, wow. And you're from Wood State, Seattle, Seattle.
Speaker 1: I was gonna guess that. Wow, it's almost like we
Speaker 1: know each other.
Speaker 5: No, but he doesn't seem like a Seattle guy though,
Speaker 5: because he seems like the black friend in Seattle.
Speaker 3: No, it's a lot of black people in Seattle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, really, we just don't go outside it between white
Speaker 1: people out there.
Speaker 3: Okay, So like I don't understand.
Speaker 1: How y'all find from Seattle.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, but it was a different time.
Speaker 2: Yeah. And Jimmy Hendricks was also looking like he didn't
Speaker 2: use conditioner in his friend didn't that miss?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he lived in London. There's no conditioner in London.
Speaker 3: And they barely have to.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: You, it's like from Seattle, really, but I cannot make sense.
Speaker 1: Rachel Dole is from near Seattle.
Speaker 5: Yeah that makes sense though, that checks out. Yeah, Now
Speaker 5: black people, she's saying, now with black people like you,
Speaker 5: and she was like, I too, am black.
Speaker 6: It's always so corny when like black people were like,
Speaker 6: there's no black people in Seattle or Portland.
Speaker 1: It's like, nigga, just go other places.
Speaker 3: It's where it's not.
Speaker 5: It's not saying that there's none, it's a saying we
Speaker 5: don't see it's niggas in Seattle, not black folks, but niggas.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the niggas everywhere, right.
Speaker 3: But it's fascinating you. I think we're from nigga.
Speaker 1: Drake is from Canada.
Speaker 3: Okay, Canada.
Speaker 1: That's way harder to understand than like Seattle or Portland.
Speaker 3: Has a bunch of Haitians. You know, it's Toronto.
Speaker 1: How did get there?
Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
Speaker 1: How did the Haitians get to Canada?
Speaker 5: They speak French up there, so the Haitians went up there.
Speaker 5: I don't know why there's black people in Seattle, sire.
Speaker 1: That was that was one of the say boyle boy,
Speaker 1: bayle boy. I see why it was canceled.
Speaker 3: God, it's canceled because we don't understand.
Speaker 6: I'm saying that if there's people in Canada and they
Speaker 6: went all the way from Haiti all the way to Canada,
Speaker 6: don't think biggas stopped in Seattle.
Speaker 1: You don't think niggas stopped.
Speaker 5: At is not on the way. That's why I'm away
Speaker 5: from where my people come from.
Speaker 3: Yes, Seattle is not on the way.
Speaker 6: No, not directly, Marie. I'm gonna go do my show,
Speaker 6: Jesus show, Yeah, show how the.
Speaker 5: Nerve of you have a show and be here late
Speaker 5: and be here late, the audacity, negocity, the.
Speaker 2: Negocity of you.
Speaker 3: This is some Seattle nigga behavior right here.
Speaker 1: You don't even know what Seattle niggas are.
Speaker 2: Like, they're like this, I will say and I will
Speaker 2: say one thing, turn my chair, I will say this,
Speaker 2: and uh that you surround yourself around people who challenge
Speaker 2: you but also accept you. Yeah, you know you hang
Speaker 2: out with Langston Kerman.
Speaker 1: Mister non problematically self, the king of light skins. I love.
Speaker 2: He was on this podcast and he really tried to
Speaker 2: go toe for to with us. I mean we were
Speaker 2: trying to roast him and he was trying to come
Speaker 2: a light skin expert.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well he's a light skin expert. Yeah, because he,
Speaker 1: I mean hateskin people.
Speaker 2: WHOA.
Speaker 3: That's why he hates his girlfriend light skin.
Speaker 1: He loves, he loves her. You don't like her.
Speaker 3: His fiance.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they don't be kicking it like that. Wow, work
Speaker 1: with me. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I don't know how she allows him to be with
Speaker 2: you half the time.
Speaker 1: She loves me, she loves problematic shit.
Speaker 2: Really, you know what it is.
Speaker 3: I think you get away with it.
Speaker 5: I think you get away with it so well because
Speaker 5: you're like you like have a cute face, that's all
Speaker 5: it is.
Speaker 3: But you got like a cubo boy face, That's all
Speaker 3: it is. Remember when you said you went to Montreal.
Speaker 2: You were a jfl and and Jack and Kevin Iso
Speaker 2: were West.
Speaker 1: If you want to ask expert, bring on.
Speaker 5: That thing.
Speaker 2: You were roasting some guy who looked like the KFC
Speaker 2: Colonel No.
Speaker 3: It was the sixth flags Man, the old.
Speaker 6: Sam and Clayton, everybody, everybody that was crazy. He was
Speaker 6: the owner of like one of the biggest comedy clubs
Speaker 6: in Boston. Now he won't let me do the club.
Speaker 3: Oh see the problematic No, no.
Speaker 1: No, no, I just had to talk to him.
Speaker 3: He wants me to apologize because of that.
Speaker 6: Well, like everybody was shooting. But then I said that,
Speaker 6: I said, wow, that was long ago. I said, he
Speaker 6: looked like a slave bastard for a bunch of silly slaves.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's the stuff that you say that.
Speaker 2: I'm like, Jack, what's wrong with you?
Speaker 1: But niggas doing cartwheels?
Speaker 5: It was they went for so long. They roasted him first,
Speaker 5: and they were like running with their laughter.
Speaker 3: They were like.
Speaker 5: Like they were It was hilarious. And he stood there
Speaker 5: in a white suit with his white hair, just Colonel
Speaker 5: Sanders dad. He did have a stupid I don't know
Speaker 5: if there was a hat, but in my mind I
Speaker 5: feel like it was.
Speaker 1: But it was like one of those roads. You know,
Speaker 1: he had nothing, and he just like he stopped. He
Speaker 1: didn't even understand what we're saying anymore.
Speaker 2: Because you guys were probably screaming.
Speaker 5: That's the beginning of Like if his his life was
Speaker 5: a show, it'd be like it would start at that
Speaker 5: moment it was.
Speaker 3: It will pause and it'd be like record scratch, Hey
Speaker 3: that's me.
Speaker 6: I bet you're asking how I got how I got here?
Speaker 6: And then he like takes the camera and puts it on.
Speaker 6: He's like because of that nigga over there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's just so.
Speaker 2: Wait, but I have a question.
Speaker 1: His teeth just came out the concrete.
Speaker 4: Bro.
Speaker 3: Yeah, wait till he get his Veneers money together. I
Speaker 3: don't think he is.
Speaker 2: I think he's going to keep his teeth.
Speaker 5: Daniel Caesar, Yeah, he's like.
Speaker 3: I don't need good teeth.
Speaker 2: I'm funny. It's like, yeah, you don't need good teeth
Speaker 2: to be funny, but you need some proper teeth to
Speaker 2: get some mask.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they say that. I think it got a collage
Speaker 1: of teeth.
Speaker 3: It's like they just placed them where they fit.
Speaker 1: They got it took a whole bunch of teeth from
Speaker 1: a whole bunch of people.
Speaker 5: Plays well, the teeth actually look like he's saying, you
Speaker 5: got a ransom.
Speaker 3: Note about.
Speaker 6: Nigga, there's about fifteen people looking for their tooth and
Speaker 6: they all like Kevin's mouth.
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, put solutions on the skin this nigga.
Speaker 1: Kevin got a whole bunch of bodies under these.
Speaker 2: Jack How do you How do you feel about roasts?
Speaker 2: I feel like roasts are problematic.
Speaker 1: I don't like I don't like like set up roasts,
Speaker 1: like like I come there.
Speaker 6: I mean, I support everybody in rose body, all my friends,
Speaker 6: but it's like I don't like doing it because it
Speaker 6: feels too like formulaic and kind of corny and mean,
Speaker 6: Like it's like it's against what roasten really kind of is.
Speaker 6: It's more just like jabbing at your friends, like wrote
Speaker 6: like set up roads, like your mom died in oh
Speaker 6: six and that's why you're dumb. And it's like Jesus
Speaker 6: fucking Christ.
Speaker 3: Bro, somebody said, change the whole game. Wow, sideways, Well
Speaker 3: let me see if we get sitting in it sideways.
Speaker 6: All right, But more important, you guys are both beautiful
Speaker 6: and amazing and at the end of the Broad City
Speaker 6: episode where you both walked out.
Speaker 1: I genuinely cried, Really, she was fucking fire.
Speaker 6: I enjoyed that a lot. I'm glad that you didn't.
Speaker 6: I didn't know what was happening. No one told me
Speaker 6: what was happening. I didn't even like it was one
Speaker 6: of those things. I was just watching the episode, like
Speaker 6: I just I didn't look at Twitter guys post about it.
Speaker 1: So I was just like watching the episode and I
Speaker 1: saw you.
Speaker 3: I was like, what the that's great? Yeah.
Speaker 2: Jordan Temple hit.
Speaker 1: Me up and will my fucking mind and they were
Speaker 1: like this is so cool. But it was also like perfect.
Speaker 6: It was also like the right decision to make it
Speaker 6: would it was like, you know, you guys getting it
Speaker 6: and then also being on broads he was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 6: this is yes, exactly perfect.
Speaker 2: You know what's another great decision? On time you talking
Speaker 2: to Nick Kroll and uh, you know, helping helping the
Speaker 2: community out.
Speaker 3: He said, you gotta put your finger in nikkerels.
Speaker 1: But oh, y'all better hurry up than paying fifteen girls
Speaker 1: is running a monk?
Speaker 3: Are you really leaving right now? Wow? Are please get
Speaker 3: him on the ground. I can't believe he just left.
Speaker 5: Honestly, this is the weirdest podcast episode we've ever recorded.
Speaker 2: That was really rude and also on brand of Jack Knight.
Speaker 3: Problematic.
Speaker 5: I'm switching microphones because this one is they got lipnig syndrome.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, now that he left, I guess we could
Speaker 2: just keep it going and just chat some more.
Speaker 5: Do we need to close this door? I don't think
Speaker 5: that we should. We still need to be on this live.
Speaker 5: Do we know it's like twelve people watching.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my friends, we love you.
Speaker 3: No, we don't really love them though. Yes, I need
Speaker 3: to charge my phone. Okay, Well that was a problematic
Speaker 3: ass episode.
Speaker 2: Real sure, Jack gave us everything and then nothing at all.
Speaker 3: He gave nothing, but it was still very on brand
Speaker 3: for him. I don't believe that he's never gotten in
Speaker 3: trouble for the stuff that he says.
Speaker 2: I think that people like Jack don't know that they
Speaker 2: fuck up stuff or that they're getting in trouble because
Speaker 2: people are too scared to let them know.
Speaker 3: Hey man, that wasn't cool.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 3: You gotta tell people.
Speaker 5: You have to tell people when they do something wrong regularly,
Speaker 5: Like someone like Jack, you can tell him that he
Speaker 5: did something wrong, he's strong.
Speaker 3: He's gonna fake apologize or maybe he will. Do you
Speaker 3: think that he apologizes to people? Yeah?
Speaker 2: And yeah, no, I mean I've seen him do some
Speaker 2: stuff and I was like, hey man, that's I don't
Speaker 2: think that was really smart or cool. Okay, but I'm
Speaker 2: also a nigga that's not really working that much, so
Speaker 2: he's probably not listening to you. You take uber pools.
Speaker 2: I'm I don't care about what the hell you're saying.
Speaker 3: This is weird, friend, I don't.
Speaker 5: I Yeah, I mean I see him doing that also,
Speaker 5: but like, still, you should be telling people when they mess.
Speaker 3: Up, Marie. Are you that type of person that tells
Speaker 3: people when they mess up?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: I feel like you should. Like I don't think you.
Speaker 5: Gotta be weird about it, Like you don't have to
Speaker 5: be mean about it. Like, Okay, I was on the
Speaker 5: train today on the way here. There was a lady
Speaker 5: with a baby or like a toddler. The toddler was
Speaker 5: sleeping on her and I heard her go, Michelle, we're
Speaker 5: gonna we're gonna get off the train and the next stop.
Speaker 5: Time to wake up. And I was like, my mother
Speaker 5: would never wake me up like that. She'd be like, yeah,
Speaker 5: but she would like shake me up and then I'd
Speaker 5: have to like wake up and go. But like, maybe
Speaker 5: there's a there's a different way to do everything. You
Speaker 5: don't have to be mean all the time. You could
Speaker 5: gently tell them.
Speaker 3: Somebody that they messed up or that they're trash or
Speaker 3: that they're problematic. I feel like you're you're working on that, Murray.
Speaker 2: I feel like you are.
Speaker 3: I mean, I mean, it just happened on a train,
Speaker 3: sis and I just, you know, I just had the epiphanies.
Speaker 3: You come a long way. I feel like you you
Speaker 3: tell people when they they need to be told.
Speaker 2: But I also feel like you don't feel like telling
Speaker 2: people about themselves sometimes, because sometimes that's true.
Speaker 5: Yeah, sometimes you just you can't be bothered because you're
Speaker 5: like you gonna tell them that they did something and
Speaker 5: they're not gonna change.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like that with me? Sometimes?
Speaker 5: Uh, we've been adding we have a commercial for this.
Speaker 5: We got some what cent bird or something to talk about.
Speaker 3: Rick, I'm don't remember the question the question is I
Speaker 3: forgot the question? Okay, see I don't remember that. I
Speaker 3: don't Andrew, and.
Speaker 2: Oh I didn't ask that. But are you gonna be nice?
Speaker 3: Probably not.
Speaker 5: It's probably gonna be the same. Yeah, it's gonna be
Speaker 5: the same. I mean, it's just gonna be like a
Speaker 5: slower to be mean. I think maybe I'm gonna take
Speaker 5: my time with it.
Speaker 3: I have time now.
Speaker 1: You don't realize today.
Speaker 3: Know the way that the woman woke this little girl up,
Speaker 3: I was like, oh wow, she like eased her.
Speaker 5: Out of waking up, waking up like, you know, instead
Speaker 5: of being the brother, instead of being like, girl, we
Speaker 5: gotta go, come.
Speaker 3: On, like and I was like, wow, yeah, there's different ways.
Speaker 2: Do you feel like you're the person that come on, girl,
Speaker 2: let's go.
Speaker 3: Yeah for sure. But also I was the kid that
Speaker 3: was come on, girl, let's go. You know yeah, So
Speaker 3: like we know, people do stuff different. So maybe Marie,
Speaker 3: therapy might be therapy since I could just keep taking
Speaker 3: the train. What do you mean therapy. I could just
Speaker 3: keep taking the train and learning life's lessons.
Speaker 5: I mean, you're the you said that you're the girl
Speaker 5: that you're the kid that would be like, come on,
Speaker 5: let's go, you gotta get up and abruptly wake you up.
Speaker 5: And maybe that's why you're so abrupt right now. Wow,
Speaker 5: So maybe you need to work through this wow. Maybe,
Speaker 5: but like I feel like.
Speaker 2: I'm fine, right are you?
Speaker 3: Marie City.
Speaker 5: Don't don't putting that Uh, I don't even know what
Speaker 5: what you putting in my head. Don't don't be putting
Speaker 5: this wishing this on me. I feel like I'm I'm
Speaker 5: in a good.
Speaker 3: Place right now. I feel like you are.
Speaker 2: I'm in a good place.
Speaker 3: You're not gonna steal my joy? Friend?
Speaker 2: Can you explain to those listeners while are in a
Speaker 2: good place? Uh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, I'm a little bit high.
Speaker 5: And I had this job that lasted for I don't know,
Speaker 5: two and a half months, and it was a bad show,
Speaker 5: but like I got paid for it, and I got
Speaker 5: paid well for it, and you know, I feel like
Speaker 5: I'm in this place where it's like, well, I've booked
Speaker 5: a show. It was not a good show, but like
Speaker 5: I'll book another one. Yes, I don't know how soon
Speaker 5: or how far away that is.
Speaker 2: Yes, But once you open that doors to be like,
Speaker 2: oh I can get I could get a fucking show,
Speaker 2: then it doesn't feel as much pressure.
Speaker 5: Right, I'm gonna be like a tone bell. Oh wow,
Speaker 5: I'm just that's the name that comes to mind.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 5: Because he's been on a lot of TV shows and
Speaker 5: they just keep getting canceled. But I'm like, if they're
Speaker 5: on for long enough and he's making a decent amount
Speaker 5: of money, then like he's probably fine with all his
Speaker 5: shows getting canceled. He's in a movie now, yeah, yes,
Speaker 5: he's in a little and Regina Hall and we're tone
Speaker 5: Bell adjacent.
Speaker 3: If you guys don't know Jason a degree of separation
Speaker 3: from I.
Speaker 2: Mean, I was on a show him and I bombed,
Speaker 2: So honestly, I'm closer to tone than you think. Honestly,
Speaker 2: since like right there, it was literally right after Little premiered,
Speaker 2: I saw him on the show I bombed.
Speaker 3: Wow, And you know what he.
Speaker 2: Said, it was like it was good seeing.
Speaker 3: The bomb was silent, it was good seeing it was
Speaker 3: good to see you.
Speaker 5: I was like, wow, yeah, it was really bad. He's
Speaker 5: in but he's in a good He's in a good place.
Speaker 5: Would he got to be mad or like bitter or
Speaker 5: like ha ha? He had people for like, he's making
Speaker 5: money and he likes skin and he has all his teeth.
Speaker 3: He's fine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you know that.
Speaker 3: That's why I'm talking the way I'm talking.
Speaker 2: And if we see our friend Jack Knight, who's problematic
Speaker 2: as if and he's bucking all these things and he's funny.
Speaker 3: I mean, when you're what you do, you're you know,
Speaker 3: people are gonna look for you, people looking for you,
Speaker 3: people looking for him. What are you? People will look
Speaker 3: for me too.
Speaker 2: Wait, we are looking at y'all.
Speaker 3: Hear check your other inbox on Facebook?
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know what I was. I will say this
Speaker 2: that in the We've been doing it for two years now,
Speaker 2: the podcast. Yeah two years yo. We used to do
Speaker 2: this in a fucking somebody else's apartment. Yeah, that's how
Speaker 2: messy and the sound.
Speaker 3: Was fucked up. Yeah we were.
Speaker 5: We wouldn't We would like not have the microphones turned on.
Speaker 5: We would just be shouting at my laptop.
Speaker 2: Yes, we did. And we've come so far, but I
Speaker 2: feel like kind of the same.
Speaker 3: Our guests just left.
Speaker 5: Literally, I said, wow, we are so relatable, We're so real.
Speaker 5: This is why people listen to us. And I was
Speaker 5: live for you know, most of that episode. Yeah, and
Speaker 5: it's just like, wow, Marie, we're really doing this, this
Speaker 5: podcast and stuff.
Speaker 2: This is who we are now, booking things, canceling things, getting.
Speaker 1: Fired, getting hired.
Speaker 3: I mean, honestly, Sidney, I don't know when it's gonna happen.
Speaker 5: But we're going to reach a point where we like
Speaker 5: laugh about this stuff, you know, like we're kind of
Speaker 5: like fake laughing about it now. But like what like
Speaker 5: Phoebe was overseas interviewing Michelle Obama from Michelle's book, like
Speaker 5: I started with a podcast, is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay?
Speaker 3: And so coming back to that, it really starts with
Speaker 3: you guys. It starts with the listeners.
Speaker 5: If you guys want us to interview Michelle Obama, it's
Speaker 5: really about y'all.
Speaker 3: It is up to y'all.
Speaker 5: So, and I want to talk to Michelle while she's
Speaker 5: wearing a nine thousand dollars Balenciaga boot. So if y'all
Speaker 5: want to, you know, like it's helped me see much,
Speaker 5: and you know I'm unemployed, so let me this.
Speaker 2: Tally about the engagement. And uh, you know, I don't
Speaker 2: really know how many of you guys are listening, but
Speaker 2: I feel like I need to hear more. I need
Speaker 2: to see it. You know, I see y'all in the DMS,
Speaker 2: but it's not the DMS.
Speaker 5: I want to sis, you know, make it a real post, yes,
Speaker 5: make an official put.
Speaker 3: It on the page, tweet about it.
Speaker 2: I need y'all to go to that Patreon. I need
Speaker 2: you to pay that five dollars.
Speaker 3: We need you to sign up, I need you to review,
Speaker 3: I need you to I need.
Speaker 5: You to go out hit the streets with your clipboard
Speaker 5: and sign people up for dot com mailing list, you know, and.
Speaker 2: Also also listen now that we're you know, just opening
Speaker 2: the door right now, what's what what you like to
Speaker 2: hear more of?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 2: What can make us a better podcast?
Speaker 3: How can we thrive?
Speaker 2: Yes, so that we can promote the ship more?
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 5: No, I don't think if that's the right question. I
Speaker 5: think the right question is what you said first, like,
Speaker 5: what do you guys want to hear from us?
Speaker 3: Who do you want to talk to?
Speaker 5: I mean, we have been getting some feedback and somebody
Speaker 5: was like, I feel like I had to take a
Speaker 5: break from the podcast because it wasn't as funny, and it's.
Speaker 3: Like, SIUs, you tweeted that to us, that could have
Speaker 3: been a d M.
Speaker 2: You got any negative things, please don't put it out
Speaker 2: for other people to see, because that's just wrong.
Speaker 3: You're slid in that quietly. You could have just.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could have told us.
Speaker 3: You could have sent it in invisible inksis you're messed up.
Speaker 3: But we want that. We need that feedback. Slide in
Speaker 3: our inboxes and tell us what you like and don't
Speaker 3: just be like, you know, I just like how funny
Speaker 3: you guys are. Just tell us what you like.
Speaker 2: We need some specificss.
Speaker 3: Baby.
Speaker 2: You tagging us and saying yes queens is not really helping.
Speaker 5: You know you're saying yes queen antagonists means we know
Speaker 5: that you saw the broad City episode.
Speaker 3: Okay, yes that is true.
Speaker 2: But I would like you know some of the lines
Speaker 2: that we say. If you want to make it merch,
Speaker 2: you really need to.
Speaker 3: We really need merch.
Speaker 5: May naked merch, the maniac cities they no, no mayiac,
Speaker 5: kunt gaunt maniac and make it merch.
Speaker 2: That's literally we've been.
Speaker 3: That's merch.
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh what Jack say?
Speaker 3: Our skin? Our skin is looks too good for it
Speaker 3: to just be audio or something like that. The skin
Speaker 3: is too good for it to just be audio.
Speaker 2: Skin is creat great at this hour.
Speaker 5: I mean, you know, I'm more at dusk. At dusk,
Speaker 5: the skin looks great. The sun is just like touching
Speaker 5: the top of the trees.
Speaker 3: We look great. This is I mean, with more money
Speaker 3: we get, the better we will look and it's less
Speaker 3: about what we look like those it's like, what how
Speaker 3: do you feel? Okay?
Speaker 7: Wow?
Speaker 1: I feel?
Speaker 5: Do you hear Marie Simuelle Foston? Guys, if you if
Speaker 5: you would have asked Marie this two years ago, I
Speaker 5: don't think I would have got this response. It's how
Speaker 5: do you feel inside? That's somebody who got money.
Speaker 2: It's not about how you look, it's how you feel. No,
Speaker 2: it's that's something who has got a corporate card on them.
Speaker 5: Okay, and you know I got fired and I'm still
Speaker 5: using his corporate card. I'm still using the cod I
Speaker 5: don't know what you.
Speaker 3: Just should mean?
Speaker 4: What?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 3: Yeah, I gotta go.
Speaker 5: I can't believe we had to piece this little Frankenstein
Speaker 5: episode together like this.
Speaker 2: It really was a Frankenstein but I feel like, you know,
Speaker 2: things happen. You should follow Jack on Instagram.
Speaker 5: Now, don't follow him, just like go to his page
Speaker 5: and like leave a comment. Just just leave the words
Speaker 5: unofficial expert and then go don't follow him. Just under
Speaker 5: his most recent photo, just comment unofficial expert and.
Speaker 3: Then go, oh, like like the hive or something like that,
Speaker 3: like the leave the unofficial expert hive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, can you do that, Yeah, just hashtag you.
Speaker 3: Well, which emoji should be ours?
Speaker 5: Because Beyonce has the bee, Azalea Banks has like the Mermaid?
Speaker 2: Or we should have palm trees because we're shady. No,
Speaker 2: we should we should do that. We're pretty shady.
Speaker 5: Yeah, but is there another I want to use, like
Speaker 5: an emoji that like maybe like people don't use as much,
Speaker 5: Like what's a you know what I mean? Like, what's
Speaker 5: one that like you maybe never even touched. Let's look,
Speaker 5: let's look, they got a squid.
Speaker 3: We could be that. They have a spider web. You
Speaker 3: could maybe beat that. I see a peacock, really the peacock? Anybody? Everybody?
Speaker 3: They've got a snowman, it's broccoli. There's McDonald's fries.
Speaker 2: I really think we should be palm trees.
Speaker 3: Because bento box.
Speaker 1: Okay, well maybe we should be.
Speaker 3: I see a canoe. Okay, now there's a there's a
Speaker 3: palm tree. That's the island emoji. Yeah.
Speaker 2: I think that's that's us. We're easy, breezy, shady, easy breezy,
Speaker 2: beautiful and shady shady queens. Shady queens. That's what we are.
Speaker 2: That's gonna be our our our baby podcasts Shady Queens Now.
Speaker 3: Our baby podcast. Yeah, girl, I don't know what you're saying.
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's it's been it's been a long day.
Speaker 2: I went to work and uh I came Well, no,
Speaker 2: I did another podcast before I came here.
Speaker 3: We literally we are working even though we're not working
Speaker 3: right girl, And then I'm on the way to another podcast.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you got the time. So it's just like stop in.
Speaker 2: You gotta be cool.
Speaker 3: You got what I mean?
Speaker 2: Just promote?
Speaker 3: Who is there? Uh, Sydney. I hope you have a
Speaker 3: fabulous the rest of your weekend. I hope you have
Speaker 3: a good week.
Speaker 2: Oh yes, there's something that I would like to promote. Yes,
Speaker 2: go ahead, friends, I would like to promote that we
Speaker 2: do the knitting factory. Every Sunday at nine pm. We
Speaker 2: have a birthday show for our favorite Amina. Amani's going
Speaker 2: to be in the back room.
Speaker 3: Baby.
Speaker 2: It will be five dollars. We will be charging.
Speaker 3: There will be tickets, So please come to Yeah, please
Speaker 3: come to that on the nineteenth of May.
Speaker 7: Wow.
Speaker 3: May Sunday, nineteen nineteenth, nine pm. Yeah, wow, You guys
Speaker 3: are so blessed.
Speaker 2: And again, honestly, our friend is unemployed, but we love her.
Speaker 2: Marie's doing fine, She's okay.
Speaker 3: You don't have to hit her up and be like
Speaker 3: you good, sis.
Speaker 5: Please don't hit me with you good. I know what
Speaker 5: a you good means and I don't need it. I
Speaker 5: don't need that type of negativity in my DMS.
Speaker 2: You good.
Speaker 3: I know what you I know what that means.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's shady. You don't really you don't really care
Speaker 2: if you just feel like you're like, oh you ha
Speaker 2: heard you got fired? Yeah, share your sadness with me.
Speaker 2: That's what you good means. Yeah, and it's like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm good. Actually you good?
Speaker 3: You good is the equivalent to sending somebody, uh come
Speaker 3: when you get home, text.
Speaker 2: Marie, we never had that party?
Speaker 3: What party?
Speaker 2: You got a job party?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 3: I don't have a job. There was no more friend.
Speaker 2: Can we still go to Nobuo?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, Sydney wants to go to Noboo? You
Speaker 5: need we need to check the Patreon balance. I'm gonna
Speaker 5: talk to the treasurer of the uncert expert, which is me.
Speaker 2: It's true, Marie has all the fucking Patreon money.
Speaker 3: I'm like, mister Burns, excellent, Sydney, that.
Speaker 7: You are.
Speaker 3: Smithers was a little bit gay? Souse you in love
Speaker 3: with me? I was like, mister Burns, please sick. Excellent Andrew,
Speaker 3: you don't think that Smithers was gay? Oh they were.
Speaker 2: Absolutely he was gay, full on.
Speaker 3: I love him and that's me Smithers. And if if
Speaker 3: I have to flirt to get money with you, I'll
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 5: He was.
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, we saw him without a shirt I had. Yeah.
Speaker 5: You know what, if you can find an emoji that
Speaker 5: looks like Smithers the Unofficial Expert matter of fact, should
Speaker 5: we should be emo? You should be cats because cats give.
Speaker 3: It no dails. Yeah, that's true, the one that's walking
Speaker 3: with his tail up in your face.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So if you guys, can one tell us what emoji
Speaker 2: we should be for the Unofficial Expert? Right? And then
Speaker 2: uh to tell us would you like to hear more
Speaker 2: of what would you like to hear on the podcast?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: And uh three, you know you and comment and subscribe
Speaker 2: and do all those shit.
Speaker 5: Okay, so you have four things to do. Okay, first
Speaker 5: go to Jack's page. Yes, and uh, well, first tell
Speaker 5: us what emoji we should be as and then whatever
Speaker 5: that is, leave it on. Leave a bunch of them
Speaker 5: under Zach's most recent post Jack Fox Jack Nick Knight,
Speaker 5: Jack Knight.
Speaker 3: Do we need to get his name right considering yeah
Speaker 3: he left, so yeah, go do that.
Speaker 5: And then under this post for this episode, tell us
Speaker 5: what you want to hear more of, tell us what
Speaker 5: our emoji should be, yes, and then rate, comment, subscribe
Speaker 5: And if you see Sydney on the street three dollars, Yeah,
Speaker 5: that would be nice.
Speaker 2: It's Sydney dashtroging.
Speaker 3: But they like since you got a job now, yeah,
Speaker 3: They're like, Hennessey. We'll send it to Marie. Thank you
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 5: We'll hear you guys on the Patreon when we name
Speaker 5: more names. Yes, bye guys, Forever.
Speaker 4: This has been a Forever Dog production executive produced by
Speaker 4: Bret Baum Joke and Alex Ramsey. For more original podcasts,
Speaker 4: please visit Foreverdog Podcasts dot com and subscribe to our
Speaker 4: shows on Apple Podcasts, Spotify.
Speaker 1: Or wherever you get your podcasts.
Speaker 4: Keep up with the latest Forever Dog news by following
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