Speaker 1: Hey, guys, Welcome, welcome, welcome. It's your girl and you're
Speaker 1: listening to exactly a mada a production of my heart
Speaker 1: and I am so grateful that you guys came in
Speaker 1: to tune in and show me some love and support
Speaker 1: as usual. Um, if you're watching me on the YouTube channel,
Speaker 1: don't judge because my hair looks like a beehived You're okay.
Speaker 1: I am a working mama and I couldnot not sit
Speaker 1: over here and do this podcast and talk to you
Speaker 1: guys about today's topic. But before I get into it,
Speaker 1: I want to remind you guys to subscribe, subscribe, rate,
Speaker 1: and share this podcast. Okay, do that with your friends, family,
Speaker 1: with whoever you may know. Feel free to also leave
Speaker 1: a comment. I'm always there at least thing. I'm always
Speaker 1: there reading the comments, whether you like to show you
Speaker 1: don't like to show you like when to improve something,
Speaker 1: or if there's a specific topic you want me to
Speaker 1: talk about because I like to hear your opinion. This
Speaker 1: show is actually for you guys. You know. I like
Speaker 1: to be transparent, honest and organic with y'all. But I
Speaker 1: did this for you, so toesday, I want to talk
Speaker 1: to all the moms I want to talk to you.
Speaker 1: Just know a lot of you guys are over me
Speaker 1: talking about my pregnancy, and I'm always talking about being
Speaker 1: pregnant and like my baby this, and my baby that
Speaker 1: and this and that. But this is like something that happens, like,
Speaker 1: you know, not once in a blue because you can
Speaker 1: make this happen many times. Trust me, it's not that difficult.
Speaker 1: But this is my first time, and I want to
Speaker 1: share my journey with you guys. So I want to
Speaker 1: talk to you about every single thing that has been
Speaker 1: happening during my pregnancy. And part of that is the
Speaker 1: fact that my babies are changing my body. My babies
Speaker 1: are changing my body, and this is something that I
Speaker 1: wasn't necessarily prepared for because I've always had like a
Speaker 1: body image, you know issues. For those have heard my
Speaker 1: podcast before, I was honest and open and I said
Speaker 1: that at one point in life, I was bulimic. I
Speaker 1: used to eat, bench eat and throw everything up, um,
Speaker 1: you know. And I've been in places where I've getting
Speaker 1: a lot of weight. I was like over two thirty pounds,
Speaker 1: then I lost the weight and I've been it's like
Speaker 1: my body has gone through a roller coaster of like
Speaker 1: being fat, being skinny, being skinny, being fat like all
Speaker 1: types of things. Um. Also being in this industry, right,
Speaker 1: the entertainment industry makes you feel as if you have
Speaker 1: to have this perfect body, like you have to be flawless.
Speaker 1: That's why face tune and you know whatever other apps
Speaker 1: is out there, you know, um, photoshop, Like you have
Speaker 1: to have this perfect skin, no stretch marks, no steady lights,
Speaker 1: no dimples, no jelly rolls, no acne, no this. And
Speaker 1: it's so hard, especially for women. So I've always tried
Speaker 1: to fit into somewhat society standards of beauty when it
Speaker 1: comes to my physical appearance, like my body. And then
Speaker 1: I came to a point, yeah I don't mean bored
Speaker 1: back whatever. Right before I got pregnant, I actually lost
Speaker 1: sixty pounds and it was such an accomplishment, like wow, porf,
Speaker 1: I'm like the skinniest I've been in a very long time.
Speaker 1: And and don't said boom, right there I come and
Speaker 1: I get pregnant and then my body starts to go
Speaker 1: through a different you know, body transformation. But I really
Speaker 1: want to hear a male's perspective of, you know, what
Speaker 1: it is to be with the woman wants her body
Speaker 1: changes um, because I feel like a lot of times
Speaker 1: guys don't want to say the truth and they try
Speaker 1: to like not make women feel bad, you know, because
Speaker 1: their confidence and postpartum and all those things. Because one
Speaker 1: thing is when you're with a girl and her body
Speaker 1: is banging, and next thing, you know, her stomach is
Speaker 1: full of stretch marks and it's you know, it's the
Speaker 1: skin is sagging, and you know, you can't even see
Speaker 1: her throat anymore, and you know it the s a
Speaker 1: everything is weird and is jiggling. And then the boobs,
Speaker 1: you know, start to like breastfeed the belly button because
Speaker 1: they get long and stretchy and it's just a lot
Speaker 1: going on. But then they guys like, oh, I love
Speaker 1: you look so good, and I'm like, do you really?
Speaker 1: Do you really care? Do you not? You know the
Speaker 1: same thing I talk about. I always talk about the
Speaker 1: push because when you see it on the on the
Speaker 1: YouTube channel, oh my god, that look so terrible art.
Speaker 1: But then I wonder when the guys and the husbands
Speaker 1: or whatever, they get back with their girls and they
Speaker 1: go back to smashing. This is still juicy? Is it good?
Speaker 1: Is that white? Is it spread? Is it loose? Tell
Speaker 1: me what's happening. I don't know. I've never had a dangling.
Speaker 1: Then I also want to know from somebody else's perspective
Speaker 1: that doesn't have any children at this moment eventually, right,
Speaker 1: hopefully I don't. I don't know what she's looking forward
Speaker 1: to in life. But are these any of her concerns me?
Speaker 1: I'm already stuck in the situation I'm here. Is happening better?
Speaker 1: With that being said, I want to bring in Alex
Speaker 1: big Sexy? Okay? Is it big Sexy? Yeah? I can't
Speaker 1: believe you actually called me that. It's something that everyone
Speaker 1: called me high school and you brought it out. That's right, Yes,
Speaker 1: big sexy ladies, you already know, and we got Arlene
Speaker 1: Mrs Juicy, you already know this Juicy is here with us. Okay,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I just gave you like a stripper name.
Speaker 1: Do you like it? Or you down my alter alter ego?
Speaker 1: Your alter ego? Is this Juicy? Well? With that being said,
Speaker 1: um no, the truth of the matter is, guys, you
Speaker 1: know I have been going through my whole body transformation.
Speaker 1: I've been trying to be you know, to accept it.
Speaker 1: Um My, my tummy has been little right, and I
Speaker 1: haven't had like crazy stretch marks yet. Um. I do
Speaker 1: wonder how my body is gonna transform once I start
Speaker 1: breastfeeding and all these other things and um, and then
Speaker 1: I also think about the man. You know, what it
Speaker 1: is to go back into regular life and get back
Speaker 1: into the entertainment industry, which you know that it is
Speaker 1: very extremely over sexualized, and they do expect this perfect body.
Speaker 1: It's a lot of pressure. Me. I can see, Alex,
Speaker 1: you that that you know that have been there, done that.
Speaker 1: Does it really bother you? You could be honest, it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. It's cool, judgment free zone. But did it
Speaker 1: bother you once your your partner, your wife at the
Speaker 1: time or whatever, had her babies and you saw her
Speaker 1: body change from the hot mama that you you know
Speaker 1: that you got into it and then she changed like
Speaker 1: was it a thing for you? Like? Okay? Well, so
Speaker 1: I'll be completely honest, And I don't speak for every
Speaker 1: dude out there, but I do speak for most men
Speaker 1: out there. I for one, did not see that change,
Speaker 1: the bad change. I saw someone who is sacrificing her
Speaker 1: entire body to give life and to bring my children
Speaker 1: into this world, right, my little spawn, and I couldn't
Speaker 1: in my head wrap around like the the the pains,
Speaker 1: everything that she is doing right, like yourself to sacrifice.
Speaker 1: Is anything bad could happen? God forbid? And you know
Speaker 1: so that's for me. I saw the it. And now
Speaker 1: the truth of the matter is that not all men
Speaker 1: see the fact that the beauty of a woman giving
Speaker 1: you know, you're creating life. You know your body, women's
Speaker 1: body is so amazing. I feel like we should give
Speaker 1: women more credit for that. We talk about it, but
Speaker 1: don't like literally, her body is creating another human being
Speaker 1: because we all come from there, right, and just the
Speaker 1: process alone, the pain, the discomfort, the everything, even from
Speaker 1: the from the morning sickness to the epidural if you
Speaker 1: get to that or if you have natural birth or
Speaker 1: if you get split. Look, I said, just the whole
Speaker 1: process of a woman, what she goes through, and not
Speaker 1: only physically but also emotionally because you know your mental health,
Speaker 1: your hormones, the old people like goals. Okay, I feel
Speaker 1: that obviously men don't understand a you. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure for women, especially with our looks, going back
Speaker 1: having going back to having sex with your partner or
Speaker 1: after your body has been through this entire change. Like
Speaker 1: that's those are insecurities that that maybe women don't talk
Speaker 1: about with their partners, but that's definitely there in the
Speaker 1: back of their minds. You know. Something that was weird
Speaker 1: for me too, having sex well pregnant. I chid it
Speaker 1: with the father and my kids because I don't have
Speaker 1: to give details to y'all, but you know, with the
Speaker 1: father of my kid, I was like, look, I this
Speaker 1: is you know, my children's you know, like this is
Speaker 1: your home. I'm not just gonna have any random you
Speaker 1: know whatever coming here and just you know, savvy with it.
Speaker 1: But um, if we do do it, all right, let's
Speaker 1: try it. But I felt so weird to be like, okay,
Speaker 1: let's have sex. And I felt like my stomach was
Speaker 1: moving and I just one, it's two, so like my
Speaker 1: whole stomach was just like a whole bunch of aliens,
Speaker 1: just like moving in the stomach while I'm getting you know,
Speaker 1: jabbed with it. And I just felt weird, Like I
Speaker 1: didn't feel sexy. I felt uncomfortable. I felt horny, right,
Speaker 1: because I think it's normal to say your your body
Speaker 1: wants it, but like you got to find these awkward, like,
Speaker 1: you know, do the side one like the lazy one.
Speaker 1: We just lay there one leg. It's important that you also,
Speaker 1: you know, it also helps later on with having your kids. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I heard that it's actually very healthy for you to
Speaker 1: physically be active in that aspect. It does, it does
Speaker 1: affect at least for me. I'm sure there's women can
Speaker 1: only bolt and they feel sexy, but at least for
Speaker 1: me with my partner at that time, and make me
Speaker 1: feel a little bit uncomfortable to be pregnant because I
Speaker 1: just didn't feel as attractive. Yeah, you want to feel
Speaker 1: sexy when you're like trying to have that time with
Speaker 1: your partner, and then all of a sudden, now you
Speaker 1: have this whole other part. It's growing, and it's it's
Speaker 1: now like a part you have to maneuver past this,
Speaker 1: but belly for yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah, so that's
Speaker 1: definitely one of those things. And I'm sure that there's
Speaker 1: also a transformation once you have the kids of going
Speaker 1: back into trying to find yourself and feel sexy again,
Speaker 1: feel attractive again, because obviously it takes some time. You know,
Speaker 1: it took almost a whole year for you to create
Speaker 1: this whole human being, but now it's gonna take some
Speaker 1: time for your body to you know, go back to
Speaker 1: how it used to be a lot of times, it
Speaker 1: shall never go back to how it used to be.
Speaker 1: I feel that there's like a before and after. Even
Speaker 1: if you work out your body, your body has changed, right. Um.
Speaker 1: And something that I was talking about before Big Sexy
Speaker 1: is that oh um, and I was like, okay, be
Speaker 1: honest too. When you go back into having how was
Speaker 1: the difference in between having uh sex went with your
Speaker 1: partner when they're pregnant and then after, you know, after
Speaker 1: they have their children. Do you feel or see a difference?
Speaker 1: So I don't, Well, when you're they're pregnant, obviously, yes,
Speaker 1: right because it's it's um to quote one of your lines,
Speaker 1: it's juicier when they're pregnant, right, so yes, and it's
Speaker 1: tight and everything because of blood pressure right now, Okay, alright,
Speaker 1: teach me big So basically, yeah, oh god, I'm never
Speaker 1: gonna live this down. Um. So basically, yes, there's a difference,
Speaker 1: but the after is not a negative difference. The after
Speaker 1: And you've got to remember, a woman's body has to
Speaker 1: get back to normal, you you know, you just let
Speaker 1: and and I'm not talking about the normal like a
Speaker 1: Mota would say of the push, I'm talking about the
Speaker 1: normal of like you know, um, it's it's like going
Speaker 1: through surgery, right, so you have to make sure the
Speaker 1: body and it takes one like six weeks, yes, six
Speaker 1: to like twelve weeks before your body kind of just
Speaker 1: starts feeling normal again and then you start working out
Speaker 1: and stuff like that. But in my experience, it got
Speaker 1: better afterwards, it really did. Yeah, and I've had you know,
Speaker 1: I never thought in my head, like you know, this
Speaker 1: feels this feels different. Oh, I don't feel feel more
Speaker 1: aroused or I don't feel I feel like it's it's
Speaker 1: uh not as as it was before, you know, quote
Speaker 1: unquote tight or anything like that. It just everything, like
Speaker 1: I mentioned before, it goes back. It's like a muscle,
Speaker 1: you know, it goes it goes back to normal. The
Speaker 1: truth of the matter is that, yes, your body is
Speaker 1: going through a whole bunch of changes all around and
Speaker 1: obviously wants to stand in the mirror and your body
Speaker 1: has changed from the woman that you originally you know saw. Yes,
Speaker 1: it can be traumatic for you, and at the same time,
Speaker 1: you do a lot of times, not every time, but
Speaker 1: if you're a working mom or if you have, you know,
Speaker 1: several kids, you barely have time to take time for
Speaker 1: yourself to work out and take care of you because
Speaker 1: you're like taking care of newborns. You know, your body looks.
Speaker 1: You know, we are from what you wanted it to be.
Speaker 1: And and it's just a lot, it's a lot on
Speaker 1: the play. But important to have a really good support
Speaker 1: system and have people that love you and support you
Speaker 1: and and help you understand. And if you have a
Speaker 1: good partner next to you that's willing to instead of
Speaker 1: because I've seen this happen so much. There's so many
Speaker 1: men that can be so judgmental towards their own partner,
Speaker 1: towards their own wife, where you discredit her, make her
Speaker 1: feel bad for her, her the way that her body
Speaker 1: has transformed, and support her. Let's go to the gym together,
Speaker 1: you know what. Let's not eat this tonight tonight, Let's
Speaker 1: cook dinner together, something healthier, like, you know, figure out ways.
Speaker 1: Because something that I did see on social media was
Speaker 1: how they how they the latran right, they uplift the
Speaker 1: dad body. The dad body is the great thing, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you have such an awesome body, you know with you know,
Speaker 1: if you have a big tummy or whatever, it's hot,
Speaker 1: But what about the mom bodies? These bodies that these
Speaker 1: bodies that are creating a life are the ones that
Speaker 1: are being you know, made fun of or made they
Speaker 1: make them feel ashamed. So that I got a question
Speaker 1: for you about And I've seen a lot of women
Speaker 1: do this where they do some type of physical activity,
Speaker 1: doing yoga, doing I mean even lifting weights and going
Speaker 1: to the gym and and writing their their pelotons through
Speaker 1: the entire uh like pregnancy for you and yourself as
Speaker 1: your when did you notice your body kind of like
Speaker 1: taking shape? Not because of just the belly because you
Speaker 1: have kids, right, but everything else. How was that for you? Well,
Speaker 1: I'll tell you this, Like, um, the ending of my
Speaker 1: first trimester, I noticed that my daughter was kind of swollen,
Speaker 1: and I was a little bit concerned, like what the
Speaker 1: hell is going on? And I was like and I
Speaker 1: would like, you know, try to do all types of
Speaker 1: circus so late, you know, trying to see what is
Speaker 1: going down there. And then um, I went to the
Speaker 1: doctors and they told me what one, it's the blood flow.
Speaker 1: You know, there's pressure, the uterus is going down, the
Speaker 1: babies are growing, and yes, that's going to make you
Speaker 1: know your vagina swoll up a little bit, all right? Cool?
Speaker 1: I noticed that I was very juicy, and I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, like do I want it? And I
Speaker 1: want I don't know what's happening. My body is telling me.
Speaker 1: I guess that I'm supposed to. I don't know what's
Speaker 1: going on. So you're trying to understand your body. What's happening.
Speaker 1: Your breast becomes sore. Um, you know you're my back now,
Speaker 1: I'm starting to do the wobble like I do that
Speaker 1: thing where you walk like set aside really like a penguin.
Speaker 1: I don't mean to. I just don't even know when
Speaker 1: I do it. My momi one like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: she's already wobbling. I'm like, what do you mean? So
Speaker 1: I guess the way you kind of like start finding
Speaker 1: balance by walking side to side. My back hurts. Um
Speaker 1: your feet to have your feet changed. No, no feeling
Speaker 1: at home. I haven't gotten swollen, Like my face got
Speaker 1: a little bit chunkier. My feet having gotten swollen lamano
Speaker 1: not a lot of pregnancy, especially with girls ps nala um.
Speaker 1: And then obviously my stomach has grown, which has made
Speaker 1: past stretch marks that I already had intensify a little bit.
Speaker 1: I have that very dark line in the middle of
Speaker 1: my tummy going down. My belly button is completely lost lost. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like all of it is out, like you know, there's
Speaker 1: no any nothing, you know, you know, the babies are
Speaker 1: about to come because the belly button pops. You're like, hey,
Speaker 1: let's go. Belly button already popped. So yeah, has my
Speaker 1: body changed? Yeah? Of course. Have I seen other women
Speaker 1: that their bodies have changed way more than mine's first? Sure,
Speaker 1: you know I've heard women like, oh, I get a
Speaker 1: hundred and fifty pounds and you know, like um, and
Speaker 1: I've seen a lot of women that never get their
Speaker 1: bodies back, you know, their bodies never go back to
Speaker 1: how they used to be. Like their bodies sacomolan. That's
Speaker 1: another thing. It's hard than me. And but I don't
Speaker 1: know how you're supposed to do it. A lot of
Speaker 1: womenomolan with their new bodies, and it's like, you know,
Speaker 1: that's it. You know, it is what it is. Take it.
Speaker 1: What does your mom saying about her when she was
Speaker 1: pregnant with you? Does your mom talk about how her
Speaker 1: body changed it all? She says that supposedly before she
Speaker 1: had me, she had a fat ass and I took
Speaker 1: it away from her. But that's a lie because she's
Speaker 1: never had no booty, so that's a lie. But her
Speaker 1: tell me, yeah, her tell me, you know, did did
Speaker 1: stuff for some consequences because back then, even c sections
Speaker 1: were different. It wasn't the side like a little side,
Speaker 1: you know, bahito, It was one of those from the
Speaker 1: belly button down. They would just slip, you know, like
Speaker 1: old school c sections and would just slide you open.
Speaker 1: So she has that. It almost looks like a butt
Speaker 1: in the front. But um, she would hate me for
Speaker 1: seeing that. But it's a truth. That's how surgeries used
Speaker 1: to be back in the days. Um, So yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: she she has. I don't think she got so caught
Speaker 1: up in being a mother that she didn't really take
Speaker 1: that time to take care of herself again like she
Speaker 1: probably should have. So that happens. And and remember too,
Speaker 1: like there's more than just the physical aspect, right, You're
Speaker 1: talking about your your actual like respiratory system, cardiovascular system,
Speaker 1: everything inside of you is working over time. And you
Speaker 1: know what, guys, I'm glad that you're hearing the male
Speaker 1: perspective okay. Sometimes I feel like these conversations don't really
Speaker 1: happen a lot for men. It's always women talking about
Speaker 1: it like it's normal. Guys, like stop being an ass.
Speaker 1: You know, her body is going through this and it
Speaker 1: should be cool, like you're gonna get your girl back,
Speaker 1: but fall back for a little bit in a relationship.
Speaker 1: How does that affect when a woman can't really be
Speaker 1: sexually active? Are you okay holding off for a little
Speaker 1: bit or you know, was it hard for you to
Speaker 1: be like, damn, I have to wait like all these
Speaker 1: weeks or like two or three months in the beginning. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So for me in my head, I was like, oh damn,
Speaker 1: Like I can't get it in, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: But I had to kind of step back and remember
Speaker 1: what just happened, you know, and and there's pain, and
Speaker 1: there's you know, like like you said, there's tearing. There's
Speaker 1: all kinds of things that happen, you know, to a
Speaker 1: female anatomy when when you have a baby. So at
Speaker 1: first I was like, oh man, but you know, as
Speaker 1: time goes by and she starts, you know, feeling better
Speaker 1: and not having to wear a diaper anymore, you know,
Speaker 1: like you know, you know, because you know you you
Speaker 1: have to make sure you're you take care of yourself,
Speaker 1: plain and simple. You just have to take care of yourself.
Speaker 1: My thing is too big sexy. After you see it
Speaker 1: come out, when you see the prod, they just see
Speaker 1: it coming, don't She was like, don't, don't if you
Speaker 1: see it come out and it's like a big tunnel
Speaker 1: and everything, She's like why and everything just comes out?
Speaker 1: How do you stick it back? But it was it
Speaker 1: was to me, it didn't bother me. It just didn't
Speaker 1: bother me at all. It's crazy, I might, I might
Speaker 1: just be the outlier here. It just doesn't bother me.
Speaker 1: I cried, Oh yeah, yeah I didn't. It was just
Speaker 1: like I was. I was overwhelmed. But that's because you
Speaker 1: didn't see it. You just saw that, but you have
Speaker 1: to It's like, yeah, I also have to cut the
Speaker 1: baby's on meilical cord. Right, So I took I took that,
Speaker 1: you know, the dark you had one rule look and
Speaker 1: the dark was like, hey, you know, would you like
Speaker 1: the I was like, oh my god, yeah, that's that's
Speaker 1: my my child right there. Yeah, for sure, I'm sure
Speaker 1: it's a beautiful thing. But afterwards I'm like, dude, you
Speaker 1: know you're in here, you look at it, and then
Speaker 1: later on you're gonna stick it in there and then
Speaker 1: you're gonna lose you. Not at all. Us guys are like,
Speaker 1: hell no, man, we're going back in. I don't know
Speaker 1: what you're talking about. The problem is that you have
Speaker 1: you know, and not you. But this is just a stigma, right,
Speaker 1: we have we have the way that we look at things.
Speaker 1: We everything has to be has to have a physical
Speaker 1: standard to it, right. But for us guys, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: that goes out the door. Once you're okay and cool,
Speaker 1: let's put the baby to sleep because I am coming back. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Was it weird also having the baby there and then
Speaker 1: you know, like, okay, I'm going to do it. No,
Speaker 1: not at all. It's a baby. The baby doesn't like.
Speaker 1: All it does is cry and get FEDS. It's not
Speaker 1: like the baby is gonna be like, hey, you putting
Speaker 1: your dangling in my mom? No like this? Oh my god, Arlene,
Speaker 1: is there is there anything like? Are these I mean,
Speaker 1: I know you're not necessarily maybe ready at this moment, right,
Speaker 1: but are these any of your concerns or have you
Speaker 1: thought of any of these things? Are you just like
Speaker 1: whatever it is, what it is. Um, Well, you know,
Speaker 1: I actually was pregnant and I lost my my baby.
Speaker 1: This happened last year. UM so I I was able
Speaker 1: to have the baby. I was four months pregnant. So
Speaker 1: my body started to change significantly, and like you've talked about,
Speaker 1: it felt like an outer body experience, Like I didn't
Speaker 1: feel like I was in my body. I was used
Speaker 1: to working out and I looked a certain way, and
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, you know, I went from a
Speaker 1: size beac up to like a sea cup and every
Speaker 1: everything just changed. So I mean, but listening to all this,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of things that women think about, especially
Speaker 1: you know how there's this pressure to bounce back immediately
Speaker 1: for your partner, but also if you're in the entertainment industry,
Speaker 1: the pressures of Hollywood too. Yeah. And one last thing,
Speaker 1: um that I wanted to bring up to you two,
Speaker 1: is you know that you're just You're gonna be overwhelmed
Speaker 1: for the first couple of months. I think sex might
Speaker 1: not even be the first thing, not even the last
Speaker 1: thing on your mind to be completely honest for a while.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why. And I'm to prepare you
Speaker 1: for this, because as somebody who sat on the outside
Speaker 1: looking in, you're gonna do this, Okay. Not only you
Speaker 1: got to try to take care of yourself after pregnancy,
Speaker 1: right and you know you're going through a C section,
Speaker 1: so you gotta make sure everything's good there. Secondly, you're
Speaker 1: gonna be feeding these kids at all times of the
Speaker 1: night and day. Every two hours. You will be up. Okay,
Speaker 1: You're gonna be missing sleep for almost the first year
Speaker 1: and a half to two years. Okay, you will be
Speaker 1: changing double the diapers, feeding double the children, getting double
Speaker 1: the food. Whether you're breastfeeding or not, or whatever you
Speaker 1: decide to do, you're still going to have to be
Speaker 1: up every two hour feeding two kids. So you will
Speaker 1: be I'm telling you right now. The she would wake
Speaker 1: up and I would instantly wake even though I had
Speaker 1: to be up early to go to work. I would
Speaker 1: wake up with her and I would rub her bag
Speaker 1: while she was breastfeeding the baby. She would fall, you know,
Speaker 1: she would she would be down. You know, her body
Speaker 1: is just tired. Man. Just like, let me tell you something.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say something really quick that happen my baby shower.
Speaker 1: You know, I got emotional when I first, you know,
Speaker 1: came out and I saw the audience and they opened
Speaker 1: the currents because you don't mean everything has to be
Speaker 1: dramatic and extras hell, and I did like a very royal,
Speaker 1: you know, baby shower. And when I came out, I
Speaker 1: I stood there in the crowd and I just looked
Speaker 1: to the right and I looked to the left, and
Speaker 1: I did my best to take every that moment in
Speaker 1: and when they gave them when they gave him the
Speaker 1: mic and they allowed me to talk and give a
Speaker 1: couple of words. I thank everybody for coming and you know,
Speaker 1: all those things. But I said, it was so hard
Speaker 1: for me to stand there because in my mind, I
Speaker 1: had a different vision of how that day would go.
Speaker 1: I never thought that I would be standing on that
Speaker 1: stage by myself. And at least I had the support
Speaker 1: of my friends and family that came there, and obviously
Speaker 1: I had my girls. But I just wish that I
Speaker 1: would have had you know, him, or a man just
Speaker 1: holding my hand in that process, you know, And I
Speaker 1: was I started crying, and it was such an emotional
Speaker 1: moment for me because I'm like, damn, my baby shower,
Speaker 1: my first time, my first journey, just the first time
Speaker 1: of everything, and it didn't happen the way that I visualized.
Speaker 1: But later on I realized how my words um were
Speaker 1: impactful because I got a message from somebody who actually
Speaker 1: went to the event, and it was a guy and
Speaker 1: he actually came as a guest for one of the
Speaker 1: people that I actually invited, and he d mned me
Speaker 1: on Instagram and he said, after hearing your word, they
Speaker 1: really touched me and it made me want to be
Speaker 1: a better man for the mother of my children, even
Speaker 1: though we're not together. And that's something that I really
Speaker 1: feel like. That's why to me, this podcast, this episode specifically,
Speaker 1: is so important because we're not here to bash any women.
Speaker 1: We're not here to talk down or anything. It's really
Speaker 1: too event to share experiences, to learn from each other. Um.
Speaker 1: Sometimes you can even see it as an educational moment.
Speaker 1: But I'll so for men, if you feel that you
Speaker 1: if you feel or you know rather better that you
Speaker 1: could be a better father, that you could be a
Speaker 1: better dad, that you could be a you know, a
Speaker 1: better support system to the mother of your children, whether
Speaker 1: you guys are together or not, that's fine. Do so
Speaker 1: because it's so hard on women society already puts enough
Speaker 1: pressure on us. And then when we finally, you know,
Speaker 1: do have these children, your body changes, your mind changes,
Speaker 1: everything changes. And it's so hard when you don't have
Speaker 1: that support system, especially if you had something to do
Speaker 1: with it, if you were the one there, you know,
Speaker 1: putting all the pumps in there. You remember when you
Speaker 1: were pumping it. You remember that, right, Remember it was juicy.
Speaker 1: You liked it right, and you didn't and you did
Speaker 1: all of that in there. Okay, Well guess what after
Speaker 1: you did all of that, she got pregnant. And now well,
Speaker 1: even while you're working, even while you're gone, no matter
Speaker 1: what happens, she always has to be there. She doesn't
Speaker 1: get to have breaks, she doesn't get to be like
Speaker 1: you know what, pause, I don't want to do this
Speaker 1: right now. I want to where's the receipt? I want
Speaker 1: to give the baby back. She doesn't get to do
Speaker 1: any of those things. She has to be there at
Speaker 1: all times. So, if you have the possibilities of being
Speaker 1: a better father, or a better support system, of being nicer,
Speaker 1: of being more caring, of asking how are you doing,
Speaker 1: how do you feel? What about you? It's not about me.
Speaker 1: I know the kids are important, but how are you
Speaker 1: doing because if she is not doing good, she can
Speaker 1: be the best mother that she can be for your
Speaker 1: children as well. So you know, I just want to
Speaker 1: put that out there because I know that there's a
Speaker 1: lot of men that really could be doing better. And
Speaker 1: you know, your trash damn that was amazingly well put,
Speaker 1: heartfelt obviously and a hundred percent true. Be a man,
Speaker 1: you know, and step up to the plate. That's all.
Speaker 1: That's that's my two cents. That's yes, Arlen. Do you
Speaker 1: agree with me? I do, And I'm grateful for your honesty.
Speaker 1: And and you know, in that moment when you were
Speaker 1: at the baby shower getting so emotional, how do you not?
Speaker 1: You know, women have these expectations, and we do this
Speaker 1: to ourselves sometimes. We have this expectation of what we hope.
Speaker 1: It's mostly about like what our hopes are, especially when
Speaker 1: you're pregnant. It's like an example of what your future
Speaker 1: is and what that looks like. So for you to
Speaker 1: be so honest, I I know that your listeners and
Speaker 1: your fans are gonna connect with that because that's why
Speaker 1: they listen. Yeah for sure, And you know what, um
Speaker 1: not just you guys listening, But I would love for
Speaker 1: you guys to share your experience and your stories with
Speaker 1: us as well. You know, we're always there reading the comments.
Speaker 1: Like I said before, whether you go to the YouTube
Speaker 1: channel and leave a comment there or you go to
Speaker 1: exactly a Mada on Instagram and also on Twitter. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm always there to read the comments and see you
Speaker 1: know what you've guys been through as well. I would
Speaker 1: love to know if there's any guy that knows, like, damn,
Speaker 1: I really should be a better father, I really should
Speaker 1: be a better support system to her, even though we're
Speaker 1: not together. At some point, you know I did like her,
Speaker 1: or even if you didn't like her and it was
Speaker 1: just a smash, whatever the case may have been. She
Speaker 1: is a woman raising your children, you know, raising your
Speaker 1: your children. So definitely, if you know that you could
Speaker 1: do better, write comments down. I want to read it.
Speaker 1: And if you're a single mother or you don't feel
Speaker 1: like you have a support system, also talk because we're
Speaker 1: always there. You know, if you need us, we're right there. Um.
Speaker 1: And I always think it is good to have a
Speaker 1: helping hand and just someone that's gonna hear you, because
Speaker 1: sometimes you just need someone that's gonna hear you out right, Um,
Speaker 1: pol Seed. I am grateful as usual to have Alex
Speaker 1: Big Sexy in the house. Are lean, Mrs Juicy Um,
Speaker 1: today's episode has been really good. Thank you guys so
Speaker 1: much for joining me. You guys are yes for sure.
Speaker 1: I hope that this episode has been helpful in some
Speaker 1: ways somehow, so any of you guys, um, and I
Speaker 1: hope that it touched somebody's heart. But with that being said,
Speaker 1: thank you guys so much for joining me Every Thursday.
Speaker 1: I remember to follow like I said before, exactly I'm
Speaker 1: out of my QUIETUDA podcast on Instagram, and remember that
Speaker 1: this has been a production of I Heearts Michael podcast Network.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from my Heart, visit the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you'd like to listen
Speaker 1: to your favorite podcast. This is your girl a Mada
Speaker 1: la Negra and you just heard exactly about