Speaker 1: You're watching a ton of porn. You're watching anime girls.
Speaker 1: It sounds like you're watching the hen Tie.
Speaker 2: Well essentially, yeah, because like it's not even like it's
Speaker 2: like normal porn. It just like it would be like
Speaker 2: it started just getting like more fucked up type stuff
Speaker 2: and then like that's the only type of stuff I
Speaker 2: ended up watching.
Speaker 1: Hello is this Ben?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: This is Ben. It says here that you can only
Speaker 1: get aroused by anime girls and you feel disgusted by that?
Speaker 1: Is this? Is this z accurate?
Speaker 2: So there's kind of a story behind this burst that
Speaker 2: will make it make sense. Would you like to hear that?
Speaker 2: Or no?
Speaker 1: I'm more curious what you mean by makes sense.
Speaker 2: Because I feel like saying it right off the bat
Speaker 2: in general, it makes it sound very like odd. But
Speaker 2: I feel like if I give you the explanation behind
Speaker 2: that statement, it would make more sense to what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I mean, you know, sure, go ahead? What is uh?
Speaker 3: What is?
Speaker 1: What is the origination?
Speaker 2: So this originally started whenever I realized that So I
Speaker 2: had been hanging out with this one girl and then
Speaker 2: I know that and I've never had a problem like, oh,
Speaker 2: like performing before. But then one day, like all of
Speaker 2: a sudden, I just I couldn't, you know, and I
Speaker 2: thought it was just like very odd, and it started
Speaker 2: to become more a consistent thing. And I know originally
Speaker 2: I was thinking, like, oh god, do I have a
Speaker 2: medical problem. But then I could like I had like
Speaker 2: a bad habit, like I would go home and like
Speaker 2: I would always like watch like the most like raunchy
Speaker 2: type videos, but I would not have a problem like performing.
Speaker 2: So I don't like I'm more or less looking for
Speaker 2: some advice. If you think that's like is if like
Speaker 2: I've desensitized like my mind in a way, if it's
Speaker 2: an emotional connection, I missed it, Like what would you
Speaker 2: get out of that?
Speaker 1: Would I get out of? Okay, you're watching a ton
Speaker 1: of porn? You're watching uh anime girls? It sounds like
Speaker 1: you're watching the hen Tie.
Speaker 2: Well essentially, yeah, because like it's not even like it's
Speaker 2: like normal porn. It's just like it would be like
Speaker 2: it started just getting like more fucked up type stuff
Speaker 2: and then like that's the only type of stuff I
Speaker 2: ended up watching.
Speaker 1: Hmm, and the fucked up type stuff that you're talking about.
Speaker 1: Do you have a desire in real life to to
Speaker 1: enacting stuff.
Speaker 2: I personally think it's like really disgusting even just like
Speaker 2: mentioning it. I think the whole idea of just like
Speaker 2: saying it out loud, I think it just sounds like
Speaker 2: very gross in general, and like I feel disgusted that
Speaker 2: this is kind of like my reality that I'm like
Speaker 2: having to like work with now. And I was kind
Speaker 2: of wondering. I remember mentioning about how like desensitizing actually
Speaker 2: is a serious problem. How you went through a whole
Speaker 2: thing about that, and I was wondering, if you think
Speaker 2: that's the problem.
Speaker 1: Oh, well, definitely. I mean, look, I'm no brain chemist person,
Speaker 1: but absolutely you get desensitized. I mean, even like normal porn,
Speaker 1: right if you just watch, if you're just jacking off
Speaker 1: to two people fucking, like you know, when you go
Speaker 1: out into the world and like I have sex with
Speaker 1: the real human beings, you get like desensitized to that.
Speaker 4: Now.
Speaker 1: I have no explanation of the chemistry and whatnot, but yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean clearly, you know, any any type of porn
Speaker 1: is going to like desensitize you to the actual reality
Speaker 1: of sex. You know, whether whether you're just watching like
Speaker 1: I said, people just have sex, or if you're watching
Speaker 1: people shitting on each other, or if you're watching anime girls.
Speaker 1: Although I feel like anime girls, that that has gotta
Speaker 1: drive that up to like one hundred, right, because that's
Speaker 1: not even that doesn't even exist, you know, So you're
Speaker 1: you're getting born at least it's like a model of
Speaker 1: a thing that actually happens, but the anime is unattainable,
Speaker 1: you know. So of course I feel like there's there's
Speaker 1: desensitization going on here.
Speaker 2: Like at this point, I feel like, like, did I
Speaker 2: do sometimes my mind to the point where it's like
Speaker 2: even like whenever I'm like with a real life person,
Speaker 2: I can't even do anything.
Speaker 1: You know, you spoken to a doctor about this?
Speaker 2: No, because I know it's not necessarily it's not necessarily
Speaker 2: the problem of I can get leaky rid. It's not
Speaker 2: like I have a recta's function. But it's like a
Speaker 2: very situational type thing, and I I don't know if
Speaker 2: that's like something that I would seek medical attention for.
Speaker 1: So are you just wondering if your your excessive porn
Speaker 1: usage and your inability to perform are linked?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'm more like I'm calling because like
Speaker 2: this is something I wouldn't like typically like want to
Speaker 2: mention with like friends or like family. So I'm more
Speaker 2: or less just like I'm calling like this like the
Speaker 2: first person I've ever mentioned it too, and I'm just
Speaker 2: trying to see if you have an opinion or like
Speaker 2: any like if you have an opinion or have any
Speaker 2: idea of like why.
Speaker 3: That is.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean did It's It's as I said. I mean,
Speaker 1: it's like like with any with any type of point,
Speaker 1: you're gonna get the sensitize to the actual experience of
Speaker 1: having sex. So if I were you, I would do
Speaker 1: two things. One, I would try to quit watching porn.
Speaker 1: If you feel as though it's having a negative effect
Speaker 1: on your actual sexual abilities then and it's important to
Speaker 1: you to be able to perform sexually, then you know,
Speaker 1: you would try to go down that path of quitting porn.
Speaker 1: And then too, you know, I know you say you're
Speaker 1: discouraged from talking to a doctor, but you should totally
Speaker 1: talk to a doctor about this. There's sex therapists, there's
Speaker 1: all sorts of you know, people who would have you know,
Speaker 1: a lot more practical advice because you know, you know, look,
Speaker 1: people come, I mean on this this show again, you
Speaker 1: know whatever. I don't really give advice, but like, you know,
Speaker 1: when people are like, how do I quit? How do
Speaker 1: I quit? How do I quit? It's like this this
Speaker 1: is a fucking specialist for everything. It's like there's alcoholism,
Speaker 1: there's you know, people addicted to all sorts of things,
Speaker 1: and it sounds like you might be kind of addicted
Speaker 1: to porn. And I can't just tell you, hey, quit
Speaker 1: your addiction, because it's probably gonna be more complicated than that.
Speaker 1: But what I can tell you is is that, uh,
Speaker 1: you should recognize if you have a problem it sounds
Speaker 1: like you have, and then uh, don't be embarrassed to
Speaker 1: go try to fix it.
Speaker 2: I like, how would you word that to a doctor
Speaker 2: or like if there's a specialist of like whatever it is,
Speaker 2: how would you go in there and then like word
Speaker 2: the scenario? Cause like even just like saying out loud,
Speaker 2: I personally just feel disgusted even just like like talking
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: You know, so like you gotta let you gotta let
Speaker 1: you gotta, you gotta let go of the shame. You
Speaker 1: gotta let go of the shame. You love big anime titties,
Speaker 1: you know what, Lots of people love big anime titties.
Speaker 1: That's why they're drawing so many of them. You think
Speaker 1: they would you think that people would sit in these
Speaker 1: animation studios drawing tit after tit, hand drawn tit animation
Speaker 1: if other people were not also soaking it up. There's
Speaker 1: no shame.
Speaker 2: Would you then go to the doctor and walk in
Speaker 2: with confidence and talk about big anime titties?
Speaker 1: Fuck? Yeah, I would go into that. I would say, hey, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's these people's job to deal with the ship. Yeah, hey, doc,
Speaker 1: I'm addicted to anime titties and I need your I
Speaker 1: need a cure. I need your anime titty antidotes. My
Speaker 1: dick does not work because of all the anime titties. Uh,
Speaker 1: what do you What do you think is gonna laugh
Speaker 1: at you? I mean he might, but who cares.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sounds ridiculous, sounds disgusting.
Speaker 1: It's it's what's going on with you, though it's your truth,
Speaker 1: own it. It's you. It's what's going on. The shame
Speaker 1: is only making it worse. Will you do that for me?
Speaker 3: Do that for me?
Speaker 5: Will you go?
Speaker 1: Will you? Will you? And I don't know, I can't,
Speaker 1: I I can't you know, hold your hand through Uh,
Speaker 1: overcoming the fear. But well you try, there's no shame.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, Like I like I already have an appointment
Speaker 2: lined up with care Now. Every time I said did
Speaker 2: getting closer, I'm always just thinking like, oh, this is
Speaker 2: going to be so awkward, and like I'm keep on
Speaker 2: just like do I really have to go to this?
Speaker 1: No fuck? No no no no no no. This is
Speaker 1: your truth, as I said, and you've got to own it. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's not going to be awkward. I mean even if
Speaker 1: it is, who gives it? Who cares? This is your truth.
Speaker 1: You love anime titties and it's making your dick not work.
Speaker 1: And I bet these doctors who study the penis and
Speaker 1: it's inner workings would love to tell you how you
Speaker 1: can make your penis work. Again, that's what they do,
Speaker 1: That's what they live for, is to fix people's penises.
Speaker 2: So what's the girl I was seeing? I remember this
Speaker 2: was like kind of what like I thought, was really
Speaker 2: sad about all of this. I had to like I
Speaker 2: got it like mildly hard and I had to like
Speaker 2: pretend to finish and this was like more than once,
Speaker 2: and like I remember, it was like so sad, like
Speaker 2: I had like pretend to finish. Would you like then
Speaker 2: tell the person you're seeing about this, or would you
Speaker 2: not even mention?
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, okay, here's the thing. Look, you only want
Speaker 1: to be fucking with people who are cool, right, Yeah,
Speaker 1: you only want to be fucking with people who are cool.
Speaker 1: So like, look, if something's going on with your dick,
Speaker 1: just tell the person and uh, if they freak out
Speaker 1: about it or get mad, uh, then they're not the
Speaker 1: kind of person you'll be fucking with anyway. And then
Speaker 1: you got to commit, Like you know, if you're fucking
Speaker 1: with someone and they say, hey, my vagina doesn't work,
Speaker 1: you gotta you gotta be cool too, you know. Uh,
Speaker 1: this is like a litmus test, right, But I feel.
Speaker 2: Like that's a bit different, like whenever you're a woman, though,
Speaker 2: because I feel like in that sort of shoe, whenever
Speaker 2: you're like, yeah, whenever I'm around you, I can't get
Speaker 2: my dick hard. I feel I feel like that's like
Speaker 2: just like a slap in the face kind of thing.
Speaker 1: I get it to look, some people take some people
Speaker 1: take it personally. I understand why people take it personally,
Speaker 1: but usually it's it's it's not a personal thing. You've
Speaker 1: gotta find people you're comfortable with. I feel like you
Speaker 1: have this issue of like you're not you're not comfortable
Speaker 1: with like your your your body and your issues and stuff,
Speaker 1: and you know that's not something that you know.
Speaker 2: I'm confident about myself. I'm confident about the way I look.
Speaker 2: But just like this like specific topic and like it
Speaker 2: just like respecifically like revolving around like HENTI to it,
Speaker 2: just like it. Just remember, I feel a loud it
Speaker 2: just personally makes it. I just feel like it's sound
Speaker 2: just so disgusting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you gotta own it, you, Ben, you got to
Speaker 1: own it. These girls. There's a girl that you're sleeping with.
Speaker 1: You just just be honest with her. I can't get hard.
Speaker 1: It's not because of you. You're great. I've just been
Speaker 1: looking at too many anime titties. There's no shame in that.
Speaker 1: That's your truth. Be honest with this person. Will you
Speaker 1: do that for me?
Speaker 3: Ben?
Speaker 1: Will you call you call your mom on the phone.
Speaker 1: You don't have to tell your mom, but if you
Speaker 1: started with your mom, it would make the rest of
Speaker 1: these conversations easier. Hey, good luck to you, Ben, gek bless.
Speaker 3: You and have.
Speaker 1: A good night. Hello, Hello, Olivia Mile.
Speaker 6: Yeah, how are you. I'm doing all right? How are you.
Speaker 1: Olivia? It says here that you troll phone scammers.
Speaker 6: Yeah, that is true. So yeah, I started doing this
Speaker 6: because some time ago my mom got was a victim
Speaker 6: of phone scamming. She lost a ton of money, had
Speaker 6: a change bank account, all that stuff, and I hated
Speaker 6: that that happen. I couldn't do anything. So uh with
Speaker 6: the career that I have now, I have learned how
Speaker 6: to use telephones in a very digital way to uh
Speaker 6: do things like calling them incessantly. Like you make something
Speaker 6: that says I'm going to call every uh you know,
Speaker 6: five minutes, and I'm going to call from it looking
Speaker 6: like it's coming from a different number every time, or
Speaker 6: maybe it just looks like it comes from the number
Speaker 6: one or the number two or the number three or
Speaker 6: anything of that nature.
Speaker 1: Is this like a like a I'm not anythink about coding,
Speaker 1: but like a script that you wrote or.
Speaker 6: Something essentially, Yes, attacked with knowledge about how telephone works
Speaker 6: from like a coding level. I work doing software essentially.
Speaker 1: So how long have you been running this operation?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 6: You know, I don't know if I would call it
Speaker 6: an operation as much as it is a a hobby
Speaker 6: of sorts that my motto, my motto generally is if
Speaker 6: I can waste a phone scammer's time, I am stopping
Speaker 6: them from actually scamming people that are vulnerable to that
Speaker 6: because I find that that it's it's it's it's it's
Speaker 6: shitty to have people, especially because it's the older generations,
Speaker 6: right that are normally the ones that are or unaware.
Speaker 6: I can't teach everybody.
Speaker 1: Right, I was gonna say, this is a great example
Speaker 1: of doing what you can, right, because you can't teach everybody.
Speaker 1: You can't. I mean, there's there's whatever. However, many thousands
Speaker 1: of people running these scams. You can't take down the
Speaker 1: whole operation, but you can waste a scammer's time such
Speaker 1: that one person that he could have called and scammed
Speaker 1: didn't get scammed. So you're you're doing what you can
Speaker 1: to fix this issue that you are passionate about. Now
Speaker 1: I ask you, how do you have time to do
Speaker 1: all this? Do you do you have like another gig
Speaker 1: or or is this it?
Speaker 6: At this point? From what I have done, it's been
Speaker 6: very hobbyist, and I've and I've actually thought and questioned
Speaker 6: myself with this, Like the things that I'm thinking I
Speaker 6: could make in my mind, they pose a little bit
Speaker 6: of like an ethical problem, Like just because I can
Speaker 6: make something that does this, doesn't mean that I should
Speaker 6: make this thing that does this, because this could get
Speaker 6: used for something altogether different than my intended purpose.
Speaker 1: Makes sense, right, Yeah, No, of course, if you make
Speaker 1: some sort of technology that gets into the wrong hands,
Speaker 1: it could completely undo all the all the justice that
Speaker 1: you've been serving upon the world and be used as
Speaker 1: a tool for evil.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 6: And you know, if there was a way to make this,
Speaker 6: I don't know, if there was some way that I
Speaker 6: could to justify it, I might sit there and go, Okay,
Speaker 6: actually this might be worth my time, and then maybe
Speaker 6: I don't. Maybe I spend less time doing my other gig,
Speaker 6: or you know, maybe I do something that all together.
Speaker 6: It just depends, you know. But until I have that,
Speaker 6: I just I don't know. I don't know if I
Speaker 6: actually want to build these things.
Speaker 1: What is this thing that you're talking about building? Is
Speaker 1: this like some sort of doomsday.
Speaker 6: Well it's not even like a doomsday thing. It's just
Speaker 6: like a server. It's just like, how do you make
Speaker 6: a server? And then like right the server or or
Speaker 6: you could say like a client or like the client
Speaker 6: can make a phone call right, or if it gets
Speaker 6: you know, right, Which is why I'm trying. I'm trying
Speaker 6: to use like non technical terms because it did very
Speaker 6: it's very coding related, and it's I feel like when
Speaker 6: I start to talk about it more technically, I really
Speaker 6: start to.
Speaker 1: Well, Okay, you shouldn't have to dumb yourself down to
Speaker 1: get to my level. What but the the the purpose
Speaker 1: of it? What is what's the ultimate purpose of this technology?
Speaker 7: Uh?
Speaker 6: I would want to disincentivize phone scamming altogether to the
Speaker 6: point where it makes a business either non operational or
Speaker 6: creates more of a barrier to make such things. Because
Speaker 6: maybe I can't like to feed it, right, But if
Speaker 6: I can do something that has that intended purpose to
Speaker 6: specifically make it more difficult in some way, shape or form, huh,
Speaker 6: that would that would be great.
Speaker 1: Can I bring something up that maybe will be inspiring
Speaker 1: for you. I don't know if you've thought about this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: phone these these these phone scams I feel like ultimately
Speaker 1: will die out at some point because, as you said,
Speaker 1: the primary targets are old people that don't know how
Speaker 1: to use the Internet. So eventually, once we get to
Speaker 1: a point in humanity where everyone alive grew up with
Speaker 1: the Internet, I feel like everyone will have a sort
Speaker 1: of baseline Internet literacy and the scammers will have to
Speaker 1: work like ten times is hard to trick people than
Speaker 1: they do now, so the the issue will event actually
Speaker 1: phase out, but all the would be victims would also
Speaker 1: be dead at that point. So I don't know if
Speaker 1: that makes you feel better or worse.
Speaker 6: That does make me feel better. I wonder what else
Speaker 6: would pop up instead of that, because I feel like
Speaker 6: scamming is sort of always a game of cat and mouth.
Speaker 6: But this was a point that you brought up just now.
Speaker 6: I didn't consider it actually does make you feel a
Speaker 6: lot better.
Speaker 1: Well, okay, so I feel like the well, let me
Speaker 1: ask you this other thing, because you were like, what
Speaker 1: form will it take now? I feel like the format
Speaker 1: takes now is like I don't know, man, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you're into bitcoin or whatever, but whenever you
Speaker 1: watch whenever, like you watch a video about it, the comments,
Speaker 1: there's always somebody in the comments that's like it's a bot,
Speaker 1: and it's like I'm made ten thousand dollars trading four
Speaker 1: x with Jessica Williams. Here's Jessica Williams's WhatsApp number, and
Speaker 1: then you text Jessica Williams and Jessica Williams is like, hey,
Speaker 1: give me your wallet address things so that I can
Speaker 1: put a bunch of money in there, and then you
Speaker 1: do it, and then she just takes all your money
Speaker 1: and turns out she wasn't Jessica Williams. Who's this some
Speaker 1: guy now now in that situation, because that's sort of
Speaker 1: the modern version. Who is any fault? Is it Jessica
Speaker 1: Williams or is it you know, Dan the Man sixty
Speaker 1: nine on YouTube?
Speaker 8: Who?
Speaker 1: At what point do we take personal responsibility? I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I have no opinion either way, but
Speaker 1: I'm curious about yours because you seemed passionate about the issue.
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, I think I think as we age
Speaker 6: and as the older generations are more I would probably
Speaker 6: say technically aware, technically savvy, then I think there would
Speaker 6: sort of be a shifting baseline on that right of
Speaker 6: like what is acceptable in the state of the older
Speaker 6: generations that they are now people that are like my
Speaker 6: mom's age, or people like I'm not even given number.
Speaker 6: But people that are older, I feel for them because
Speaker 6: they didn't grow up with that or like I grew
Speaker 6: up with these things, right. But I think I think
Speaker 6: that would be a changing standard overall. And I think
Speaker 6: like in the case of like, if if I don't
Speaker 6: Dan the Man ninety five, I don't remember who you said.
Speaker 1: I think I said, you know, but who you could
Speaker 1: be any number?
Speaker 6: Okay, I would say, like, if you know, Dan the
Speaker 6: Man was in their twenties, probably I would say, like,
Speaker 6: maybe maybe you should know that, like because of the
Speaker 6: technical world.
Speaker 3: But I.
Speaker 6: Don't think that that's a blanket statement.
Speaker 1: So let's let's think I'm going to try to trick
Speaker 1: you into doing a blank I'm going to scam you
Speaker 1: into doing a blanket statement.
Speaker 6: At what edekay?
Speaker 1: At what age? Is it your faults? If a scammer
Speaker 1: takes all your bitcoin at what age? When? When should
Speaker 1: you know better?
Speaker 3: At what age?
Speaker 6: When should you know better from like from here on out?
Speaker 1: From here on out? What's the cutoff?
Speaker 4: A you know, I want to say twenty five twenty five? Really,
Speaker 4: I think that's plenty of feeble, plenty of time to
Speaker 4: have technology in your hands.
Speaker 1: Interesting, Okay, So if you're twenty seven and Jessica Williams
Speaker 1: texts you and is like, give me. They're your bank
Speaker 1: account routing information so that I can sell you a
Speaker 1: bitcoin thing, and you give it to them. It's not
Speaker 1: your fault.
Speaker 6: I would say, Dan the man, Where have you been?
Speaker 1: Olivia? Is there anything else you want to talk about
Speaker 1: today before we go?
Speaker 6: No? That's that.
Speaker 1: Do you feel satisfied with this conversation?
Speaker 6: I really do.
Speaker 1: Thank you le of course, have a good night, Olivia.
Speaker 3: You do, by.
Speaker 1: Hello, Carly, Hi, what is life like?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: I was gonna say it says here that you just
Speaker 1: made a fake Instagram account to stuck your ex boyfriend? Yes, okay.
Speaker 1: How recently did you guys break up?
Speaker 5: Like last month? Like on Valentine's Day?
Speaker 1: Guy's just been it's been a full months.
Speaker 5: Yeah no, and it's still like still deep fresh wound.
Speaker 1: How long were you guys together?
Speaker 5: We were off and on for three years.
Speaker 1: Off and on for three years. What inspired you to
Speaker 1: make this Instagram account?
Speaker 5: So when we broke up? Like I couldn't stand seeing
Speaker 5: like you know how on Instagram? When you like when
Speaker 5: you're friends with somebody and they like the same post
Speaker 5: as you and it shows like their icon at the bottom,
Speaker 5: like this person liked it as well. I couldn't stand
Speaker 5: that that made like it made me want to cry
Speaker 5: seeing that, so I unfollowed him. Well, he has a
Speaker 5: private count. So I recently like requested to follow him
Speaker 5: again and he didn't allow me to follow him immediately.
Speaker 5: So I decided to make a fake account, and that
Speaker 5: night I followed like a hundred forty people like posted
Speaker 5: a bunch of like memes on the page, made sure
Speaker 5: to put like a guy's name, and made sure to
Speaker 5: like have completely opposite like basically just throw him off
Speaker 5: that like it's not me, because like I wanted to
Speaker 5: like stay in the range of his interest, but like
Speaker 5: to the point where he doesn't know it's me.
Speaker 1: And uh, I mean, how do you how do you
Speaker 1: feel about the fact that you've done this? How is
Speaker 1: this process? I mean feeling too.
Speaker 5: I feel psychopathic, honestly, because not even like five minutes ago,
Speaker 5: I was looking at his location on snapshot and he
Speaker 5: wasn't at his house and they started to freak out
Speaker 5: because he is talking to the new girl I heard
Speaker 5: from his friend. I was freaking out. I was texting
Speaker 5: my friend Zac. I'm just like, do you know where
Speaker 5: she lives? And I sent a screen out of his
Speaker 5: location and he's like, how the hell am I supposed
Speaker 5: to know? And then like I checked it again and
Speaker 5: then he was back at his house, so he was
Speaker 5: most likely driving on his way home.
Speaker 1: Why do you think you're doing this? What are you
Speaker 1: like hoping to gain from following him on Instagram and
Speaker 1: uh looking at his location? Like what what is the
Speaker 1: end game here? Well?
Speaker 5: You know how I said, we were off and on
Speaker 5: like situations like this has happened before with us, Okay,
Speaker 5: not as bad as this time, but that's why it
Speaker 5: kind of hurts the most. But like I'm kind of
Speaker 5: like praying like a few months, like on he'll like
Speaker 5: be through with that girl, and like I can like
Speaker 5: slide back and be like, hey, what's up? So you
Speaker 5: want to get back together?
Speaker 1: Carly says, you're eighteen?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 5: Yeah?
Speaker 1: What are you still in high school? Are you freshmen
Speaker 1: in college?
Speaker 6: What are you?
Speaker 1: Where are you at?
Speaker 5: Oh? Yeah, I'm still in high school. Okay month away
Speaker 5: from graduation?
Speaker 1: Okay, two months away from graduation. What are he plans
Speaker 1: after graduation?
Speaker 5: Honestly, I'm trying to move out of my parents' house, well,
Speaker 5: my dad and my stepmom's house, and recently had a
Speaker 5: fight with my mom. But I kind of need a
Speaker 5: place to stay in the area of the community college
Speaker 5: that I'm to be going to, so I'm thinking about
Speaker 5: making up with her so i can get a place.
Speaker 1: It's not a bad idea at all. I guess the
Speaker 1: reason why I I'm asking you that is cause like
Speaker 1: you're at a You're at a super interesting point in life,
Speaker 1: you know, graduating high school, where the world is so
Speaker 1: vast and open to you. There's infinite possibilities for you
Speaker 1: to do whatever it is you want to do. I
Speaker 1: genuinely believe that I'm not saying it is like feel
Speaker 1: good bullshit. So to to be stalking your ex on
Speaker 1: social media, whatever stalking means, and to be really fixated
Speaker 1: on the possibility of getting back with him, it is
Speaker 1: to just go complete tunnel vision, uh, and not even realize,
Speaker 1: even though it's just right in front of your right
Speaker 1: in front of your face, not even realize depth of opportunity,
Speaker 1: the depth of people out there in the world that
Speaker 1: there is the possible abilities are truly endless for you
Speaker 1: at this point. And so in light of that, why
Speaker 1: would you want to continue to fixate on this guy.
Speaker 1: You know what, what are what are some things that
Speaker 1: you like want to do? Like do you have do
Speaker 1: have hobbies? Do you have interest? Do you have like
Speaker 1: aspirations of any kind?
Speaker 5: Honestly, this year has been really rough, so I've lost
Speaker 5: a lot of.
Speaker 3: Like those motivations.
Speaker 5: He was my best friend and like I before he redated,
Speaker 5: you were best friends. And like, he's the person I
Speaker 5: talked to you every day more than like my actual friends.
Speaker 5: So like, that was the person I leaned on. That
Speaker 5: was the person I planned on having a somewhat of it.
Speaker 5: Like I knew it probably wouldn't last like forever, but
Speaker 5: like I guess a little bit longer. Like we have
Speaker 5: a cat together. My sister's holding currently taking that cat
Speaker 5: back now she's I'll refuse.
Speaker 2: To give her up.
Speaker 1: I think your time and you seem you know, you
Speaker 1: seem like a smart and away of person. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you know this already, but you know your time that
Speaker 1: you're spending, uh you know, conniving on Instagram and snapchat. Uh.
Speaker 1: It it is a it is a race to the bottom.
Speaker 1: I want you to understand that you do you do
Speaker 1: you you know I beneath the sort of addiction brain
Speaker 1: that you know we've all experienced that is very like
Speaker 1: a sort of brainwashy type of vibes beneath all that.
Speaker 1: Do you do you recognize how it's a right to
Speaker 1: the bottom.
Speaker 5: Yes, but I do realize it's like not a healthy thing.
Speaker 5: But like, I don't have anything else to focus on
Speaker 5: right now.
Speaker 1: That's exactly it. That's exactly it, you know. And if
Speaker 1: you don't have anything to focus on, uh, what are
Speaker 1: you gonna do? You're gonna go on Instagram, you go
Speaker 1: on Snapchat. You're gonna be like, oh, he's at the park,
Speaker 1: he's at the fucking ice skating rink, whatever it is,
Speaker 1: because you have anything else to focus on. This is
Speaker 1: a good place you're at right now because you're not
Speaker 1: in denial. You know, you understand, you recognize that what
Speaker 1: you're doing. You know, you might as you kind of
Speaker 1: sort of put it, that you're you're you almost feel
Speaker 1: like you're not in control, you know, but you're recognizing
Speaker 1: a lot of these things that you're not in control,
Speaker 1: that that it is a race to the bottom. It's
Speaker 1: good that you know that. So, I mean, we know
Speaker 1: we know that we're where that we are are our
Speaker 1: actions are not productive and and sometimes even a little destructive.
Speaker 1: Uh So, like what could we replace this with? Like
Speaker 1: what are you going to study? And you said you're
Speaker 1: going to community college? Right, yeah, what do you what?
Speaker 1: What are we studying a community college?
Speaker 5: I really don't have a full plan yet, but like
Speaker 5: since I was younger, I've always had this idea of
Speaker 5: being a debt. So most likely like veterinary science.
Speaker 1: Word word word word word word, it's a good place
Speaker 1: to start. I mean that's the general direction I feel. Uh,
Speaker 1: is just that, like you need something, preferably that's not
Speaker 1: other people, that's not some new guy, even that's not
Speaker 1: you know, your friend. I mean, it could be your friends,
Speaker 1: but you'll preferably something that's Cats are nice. Taking care
Speaker 1: of a cat, it's nice, gets your mind off of things,
Speaker 1: you know, it's a whole Uh, you're providing for something else.
Speaker 1: But like, what could you do that transmutes this energy
Speaker 1: that you're spending on Instagram and snapchat into something more productive?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can't answer that question for you
Speaker 1: because you only know you, but like, if you can
Speaker 1: at least conscientiously show up every day knowing that that
Speaker 1: is your objective, that is your next step. I think
Speaker 1: you will eventually get there. Does that make does it
Speaker 1: make sense? Do you agree with that?
Speaker 3: Oh? You're right, You're right.
Speaker 1: What do you think about all this?
Speaker 5: It's a hard tell to swallow. And I get these things,
Speaker 5: and I really do make an effort a lot. I
Speaker 5: try to go out with my friends, Like I try
Speaker 5: to go out on like on a date with somebody
Speaker 5: else to get my mind off things. I try to
Speaker 5: like like focus on my studies. Like I'm currently in theater,
Speaker 5: so I'm trying to focus on my play. But like
Speaker 5: it always goes back to that. But like, I guess
Speaker 5: I just got to keep on pushing for.
Speaker 1: More.
Speaker 5: I guess, uh, I gotta do more things because I
Speaker 5: feel like that's allowing myself time to think. And when
Speaker 5: I think, that's when it like really gets bad.
Speaker 1: Oh yes, no, no, no, you never want to think.
Speaker 1: You never want to be alone with your thoughts. That's
Speaker 1: the game. That's that's all this, that's the whole game
Speaker 1: of everything. Why do you think I'm a get go
Speaker 1: on the computer right now, Carly, just to get away
Speaker 1: from let's stick, get away from the thoughts.
Speaker 9: But but yeah, I feel like you're on a you're
Speaker 9: on a good track where you're conscientiously showing up every
Speaker 9: day with that in mind, and from there, at least
Speaker 9: in my experience, it's gonna be about time.
Speaker 1: It's going to be about time. It's pretty fresh for
Speaker 1: you a month. Yeah, but uh, I think time plus
Speaker 1: uh awareness that uh stalking Snapchat is not the moves
Speaker 1: is the way to go. And please, for the love
Speaker 1: of God, delete those apps in that account.
Speaker 5: You're right, you're right, you're right.
Speaker 1: You to do it right now.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I'll do it right now.
Speaker 1: You do it right now.
Speaker 5: I'm doing it right now.
Speaker 1: Hey, you can delete both of them. Instagram never done
Speaker 1: nothing good for anyone except accept those influencers that get
Speaker 1: paid thirty thousand dollars to talk about water. Listen, Carly Jack,
Speaker 1: bless you, good luck to you. Anything else you want
Speaker 1: to say before we go?
Speaker 5: Do you want a tarrat card reading?
Speaker 1: Ooh maybe another time.
Speaker 5: Understandable, but hey, that's a good thing to.
Speaker 1: Get into, you know, if we're talking about things that
Speaker 1: you like doing, uh, tarrort card readings, start a small business,
Speaker 1: whatever it is, just throwing ideas out there. Thank you, man,
Speaker 1: appreciate Carly Forever. The cards have nothing to tell me
Speaker 1: that I don't already know. I don't know if that's true.
Speaker 1: I don't know if the cards have to tell me.
Speaker 1: I don't know if the cards talk. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I trust them.
Speaker 7: Josh, Hey, how's it going?
Speaker 1: How are you? Josh?
Speaker 7: I'm well? How are you?
Speaker 1: I'm a gecko on the computer? How how can I
Speaker 1: you know? I'm I'm I'm always I'm always sort of
Speaker 1: torn about you know, if i'm. I was about to say,
Speaker 1: how can I help you? But I don't know if
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can help you, Josh, unless
Speaker 1: if you think I can? Do you think I can
Speaker 1: help you with anything? Is there anything that you're fairly
Speaker 1: certain I could help you with?
Speaker 7: You could give me like an am I the asshole
Speaker 7: evaluation on the little scenario?
Speaker 3: I have?
Speaker 1: Oh for sure? What's the scenario?
Speaker 7: I was in Colorado for a week doing a lot
Speaker 7: of snowboarding, and we were indulging in the cannabis, and
Speaker 7: so I brought this electric rig called a puff Goo
Speaker 7: peak Pro. It's like four hund We were hitting that
Speaker 7: the whole time, and then, like last night before we
Speaker 7: flew out magically just like the glass shattered magically, like
Speaker 7: I just someone walked over and saw it and told me,
Speaker 7: and but like nobody nobody said anything about it, and
Speaker 7: like everybody was like I didn't do that, but like
Speaker 7: I don't know about you. I don't know if you've
Speaker 7: ever used a bong, but like I feel like most
Speaker 7: people know if they break something, like it's pretty apparent.
Speaker 7: And everybody just like acted like they didn't know who
Speaker 7: did it. And I got like visibly upset, was like
Speaker 7: said some choice words and went to bed. And the
Speaker 7: next day, uh, I like mentioned something else about it.
Speaker 7: One of the guys got like crazy upset, so a
Speaker 7: lot of like kind of harsh things to me, And
Speaker 7: I don't know, I just feel like I'm not I
Speaker 7: than like bijing Er an asshole in that situation, you know,
Speaker 7: Like I feel like if they were my friends, they
Speaker 7: could have just like owned up to it, like that
Speaker 7: glass replacement was probably like seventy bucks. Like I could
Speaker 7: give a fuck less about the glass, but like I
Speaker 7: just wanted someone to tell me like that they did it.
Speaker 1: No, it's the principle. It's like what you know, we've
Speaker 1: been friends for how many years and you're not just
Speaker 1: gonna you know, we're all adults. You're not just gonna
Speaker 1: own up and tell me that you broke this thing.
Speaker 7: Yeah, that's basically it. I was like, I mean, I
Speaker 7: can easily replace this tomorrow, but like, why would you
Speaker 7: just set it back? Like what if I did that
Speaker 7: to your car? What? I just hate your car by accident?
Speaker 7: And then like parked in the other spot and was like,
Speaker 7: I don't know what happened to dog.
Speaker 1: Hmm. So did you ever find out how many how
Speaker 1: many guys were in this house?
Speaker 7: I meet and three other dudes? One of the guys
Speaker 7: does not smoke. He's completely out of the picture. I
Speaker 7: know he wouldn't have even been near it.
Speaker 1: Okay, so it's too two of them, And to this point,
Speaker 1: do they still adamantly deny that they had anything to
Speaker 1: do with it?
Speaker 9: Uh?
Speaker 7: Yeah, But the the one like the one didn't get
Speaker 7: upset or anything. Uh, he's the one that actually brought
Speaker 7: it up the shows to me because he was about
Speaker 7: to use it, and he was like, yeah, I think
Speaker 7: it's like broken at the top, and then I was
Speaker 7: I said, like, you did it. The other guy didn't
Speaker 7: really say much that night, and then the next day
Speaker 7: he was the one that like got crazy upset.
Speaker 1: You think he's got.
Speaker 7: I feel like he has something to hide, Like why
Speaker 7: would he slip out like that? Like it didn't it
Speaker 7: didn't correlate. Like he just started, like, you know, like
Speaker 7: taking like cheap shots at me and like attacking me
Speaker 7: for all this stuff. And I was like, why are
Speaker 7: you yelling? Like I wasn't yelling, you know, And I
Speaker 7: don't know. I felt like he definitely did it, and
Speaker 7: but I'd never accused him, you know. I just like,
Speaker 7: let me.
Speaker 1: Ask you something, this guy who you think did it?
Speaker 1: What has your relationship been with him thus far? Like
Speaker 1: is this something that is completely out of character for him?
Speaker 1: Because I assume you've known this guy for a decent
Speaker 1: amount of time his trip with him, you have an
Speaker 1: established record of of who he is and what your
Speaker 1: relationship is like with him? What what is what does
Speaker 1: that record look like?
Speaker 7: Right? So I've probably known him for two or three years.
Speaker 7: I met him through like a bunch of wake surfing guys,
Speaker 7: and he is definitely kind of like an like altercative person.
Speaker 7: I guess you could say, like I feel like he
Speaker 7: kind of enjoys that.
Speaker 8: He enjoys confectations ever towards like that's yeah, yeah, and
Speaker 8: but like he's never really done anything towards like any
Speaker 8: of us to make me basically what happened like out
Speaker 8: of line for anything I've experienced within our friends group
Speaker 8: around him. But I've seen him get upset.
Speaker 7: With other people like on like the ski slopes and
Speaker 7: stuff kind of similar to that.
Speaker 1: M Okay, so you've observed him having a angry temperament
Speaker 1: in the past. Yeah, Now, are you, like, and look,
Speaker 1: be honest with me, are you one hundred percent sure
Speaker 1: that somebody broke your bong and that something freakish didn't
Speaker 1: happen like a cat came in and put it down,
Speaker 1: or the wind or anything like that. Are you like
Speaker 1: one hundred percent sure this was this was the act
Speaker 1: of a human.
Speaker 7: I mean I had just used it like less than
Speaker 7: five minutes before I went to sit down and eat,
Speaker 7: and we were in an airbnb. There's like no animals
Speaker 7: or anything. And as a heavy base, like you have
Speaker 7: to like hit it with your hands and knock it
Speaker 7: over or something. So I've I find it like kind
Speaker 7: of hard to believe that would have just been like, oh,
Speaker 7: an accidental like swing, because like if it got knocked
Speaker 7: over or a form where it shattered, like it had
Speaker 7: to have gotten picked back up because it was bick
Speaker 7: back up.
Speaker 1: Ooh, because it was standing back up, but it was damaged, right, Mmm,
Speaker 1: detective work going into this, all right, So this guy
Speaker 1: who you're pretty sure did it, because he's acting all emotional,
Speaker 1: he's freaking out. I don't know because when you told
Speaker 1: me that, if we're going, if we're playing detective here,
Speaker 1: I feel like the person who brought it to you
Speaker 1: could also be guilty. You know, we don't want to rule.
Speaker 7: Him out record too, but like he was he I've
Speaker 7: known him for like ten years. I lived with him
Speaker 7: for like five years, and like we've both like broken
Speaker 7: each other's last four and just honestly like told each
Speaker 7: other and like just paid each other like whatever. Like
Speaker 7: you know, it was never a big deal. I would
Speaker 7: kind of trust him to tell me if if that
Speaker 7: was him, So okay, and like that. Also, when the
Speaker 7: other guy flipped out, he blamed it on my friend.
Speaker 7: I've known him for ten years.
Speaker 1: Oh so the other the guy who flipped out blamed
Speaker 1: it on the guy even known for ten years.
Speaker 7: Yeah, he was like it was probably him, Like trying
Speaker 7: to like clear himself.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah, this guy sounds super guilty. So mm hmm.
Speaker 1: So listen, I mean, are you going to continue your
Speaker 1: relationship with this guy who who you sort of now
Speaker 1: know to act a fool in in a in a
Speaker 1: in this manner.
Speaker 7: Probably not. I mean, like my friend, my other friend,
Speaker 7: like ten year friend and I were talking on like
Speaker 7: a ski lift one of the days when it was
Speaker 7: just us, and he has some thoughts about it too,
Speaker 7: and said he might stop hanging out with him after
Speaker 7: this trip, and then all this stuff happened after that.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this guy, he's this is not an isolated
Speaker 1: incident of of bad things.
Speaker 7: Seem Yeah, it seems like it seems like all of
Speaker 7: us has slowly been kind of catching onto things.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm mm hmm. Well, it sounds like you have
Speaker 1: your plot forward established here in terms of whether or
Speaker 1: not you're gonna hang out with this guy again.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, that's yeah, that's definitely a big no.
Speaker 1: What kind of bong was it again? The say It
Speaker 1: Say one more time?
Speaker 7: The puff goo peak pro Are you gonna buy another one? Yeah?
Speaker 7: I'll probably just go get a glass replacement piece the
Speaker 7: next few days I guess I usually just only use
Speaker 7: this for traveling anyway, so it's not like pressing.
Speaker 1: But you have a you have a travel one, a
Speaker 1: home one.
Speaker 7: I have like yeah, like an actual piece of glass.
Speaker 7: This is more like electric setup kind of.
Speaker 3: Hm.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people before we go?
Speaker 7: Veiled back balls are really sick. If you've never hit
Speaker 7: those up, definitely do it.
Speaker 1: What is it?
Speaker 5: Uh?
Speaker 7: The veil back balls at Veil resort, Veil resorts.
Speaker 1: Like, all right, this is this is the scene of
Speaker 1: the crime here.
Speaker 7: That's that's where we were. We were at Veil, Breckenridge, Teystone,
Speaker 7: Beaver Creek. Yeah, over five days. We hit four resorts
Speaker 7: over five days, and we hit Veiled twice.
Speaker 1: Well, it sounds like aside from this long breaking incident,
Speaker 1: it was a pretty good weekend.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, I had the GoPro three sixty. That thing
Speaker 7: is so cool. Have you ever used it?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I haven't. I got to get one though, because I
Speaker 1: want to do my gek walk things with that, So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do you have a code?
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's really cool. When you get it, sign up
Speaker 7: for the GoPro subscription. It's fifty hours a year, I think,
Speaker 7: and it's so worth it because if you break your GoPro,
Speaker 7: they just replace it, no question, and you can It's
Speaker 7: like unlimited cloud storage uploads, so all your videos you
Speaker 7: can upload to their cloud and there's no limit to it,
Speaker 7: which is pretty cool.
Speaker 1: Well, Josh, I hope you're getting paid for this.
Speaker 7: No, man, I'm just chilling on my couch.
Speaker 1: Beautiful. Have a good night, Josh, you too, man. Hello,
Speaker 1: how's it going?
Speaker 3: A lot?
Speaker 1: Tell me? Tell me everything? A lot of Well here, Alana,
Speaker 1: it says here that you want to know if you
Speaker 1: should be mad that you recently found out that your
Speaker 1: dad got married a year ago and did not tell anybody.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was something I could talk about for sure,
Speaker 3: if you.
Speaker 1: Want to talk about it, I I That's that's why
Speaker 1: we're here. We're here to talk on the phone. Alana.
Speaker 1: What's what happened here?
Speaker 3: All right? Well, backstory, my dad and my parents separated
Speaker 3: about six years ago, and about three years ago we
Speaker 3: started dating this girl I don't want to say, I
Speaker 3: don't care Keana, and we all met her at my
Speaker 3: brother's eighteenth birthday party, which is at my dad's house,
Speaker 3: I like family house. Before my parents separated, and when
Speaker 3: we all pulled up and she was there, At first
Speaker 3: I thought she was one of my brother's friends. And
Speaker 3: I was like trying to she looked really like she
Speaker 3: wasn't talking to anybody, and so I said, hey, do
Speaker 3: you be a swimsuit or you know, need any direction
Speaker 3: for bathroom or food? You know, let me know. She's
Speaker 3: like no, I'm good. Do you have you? And I
Speaker 3: was like, all right, have you seen Alan? I'm like
Speaker 3: my dad and she's like yeah, I'm like yeah, I
Speaker 3: think he's in inside. And she's like all right, cool, thanks,
Speaker 3: and then she walked away and then kind of like clicked,
Speaker 3: like is that the girl that my dad say? And
Speaker 3: so she's found out she's my age, you know, one
Speaker 3: year older than me. I think, so I'm twenty six,
Speaker 3: she's twenty seven. So at first it was like a
Speaker 3: shock to find out that she was with someone for
Speaker 3: I was so young, but I wanted to be like
Speaker 3: happy for him and okay, and she's like all right,
Speaker 3: I wanted to have a companion, So I got I
Speaker 3: was okay with it. I got used to it. She's
Speaker 3: really nice and whatever. But you know, since my parents separated,
Speaker 3: they my dad just kind of he wasn't the same dad.
Speaker 3: He hasn't been the same dad to them, and he's
Speaker 3: as he was to me, as in just like not
Speaker 3: showing up too, you know, sporting events or you know not. Also,
Speaker 3: he just stopped financially helping with my mom and like
Speaker 3: doesn't pay for child support or health bills or anything,
Speaker 3: and so he doesn't help. And that just makes me,
Speaker 3: as the older sibling, you know, I just I have
Speaker 3: a lot of anger and I don't I'm not I'm
Speaker 3: not an angry person, and so I have so much
Speaker 3: anger for this one person that is like my dad,
Speaker 3: and so that's it's a I don't know, it's a
Speaker 3: shitty thing to feel, but it's hard when, like, you know,
Speaker 3: I just had my birthday a month ago and he
Speaker 3: made plans to get lunch and cancel them scheduled and
Speaker 3: canceled the rescheduling because he said his car broke down,
Speaker 3: which I'm like, okay, he could suber, you could uber,
Speaker 3: I could stick you up. It's not an excuse. So
Speaker 3: it feels like there's all these things that just don't
Speaker 3: line up that makes it feel like that I should
Speaker 3: should I should forgive him, and just like you know, so.
Speaker 1: You're you're twenty six. It has it always been like
Speaker 1: this with him?
Speaker 3: Not since I guess like a couple of years after
Speaker 3: the divorce. Like when I was younger in high school,
Speaker 3: I was way closer with my dad than I was
Speaker 3: with my mom, and then it switched. It's when I
Speaker 3: left for college, and then all this happened, because it's
Speaker 3: all happened when I was away for college, so you know,
Speaker 3: I wasn't home to be there through like the really
Speaker 3: hard part of it, like the first two years, and
Speaker 3: that was my sibling that went through it all, and
Speaker 3: and I was away, and then I came back after
Speaker 3: I graduated, and now I'm I just kind of started
Speaker 3: to see what the result of like everything happening, and
Speaker 3: just you know, it's just not fair, and it's not
Speaker 3: about like fairness, and like it's just more of I
Speaker 3: want my siblings to like have had experienced the same
Speaker 3: dad that like I got the experience of who was
Speaker 3: the person taking me to practices and showing up to everything.
Speaker 1: Have you told him that you're pissed off at him?
Speaker 1: Have you expressed to him that you know you felt
Speaker 1: like you guys used to be closer, Well, you say
Speaker 1: you said he knows. Yeah, but what makes you say
Speaker 1: he knows?
Speaker 3: Because I did have so it was after I came back,
Speaker 3: like I lived, so I did live with him for
Speaker 3: about seven months with him and his girlfriend at the time.
Speaker 3: Now why it was up and down, but it can
Speaker 3: end on a great note. But I did talk to him,
Speaker 3: and I'm very honest. I guess I'm not someone that
Speaker 3: really holds back how I feel. But I guess it's
Speaker 3: because I have expressed that to him so many times already,
Speaker 3: and I've had like sit down lunches with him where
Speaker 3: I've just said, like, you know, just show up to
Speaker 3: my sister's game, show up to my brother's game, just
Speaker 3: like be there. Why can't you just do that? And like, yeah,
Speaker 3: you know, he he's a salesman. He is really good
Speaker 3: at being all talk and then when it comes down, yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah he's he's he's he's trying to play people like
Speaker 1: a fiddle.
Speaker 3: Really good salesman, Atlanta. Dude.
Speaker 1: You know, I think that it's cool that you care
Speaker 1: so much about your your siblings and your that that
Speaker 1: you want them to have, uh, the same experience with
Speaker 1: your dad that you have a question.
Speaker 3: Yeah sure, yeah, I have a question, So do you
Speaker 3: think that I, like you just said, like should I
Speaker 3: is it right for me to have these emotions that
Speaker 3: are not really attached directly to me, Like it's not
Speaker 3: like he's, yeah, he didn't cancel my birthday whatever, but
Speaker 3: it's not like the big things. He didn't directly do
Speaker 3: it to me. It's been like to my family, like
Speaker 3: to my sibilians and like my mom. So is it
Speaker 3: right for me or to feel this kind of anger
Speaker 3: with the things that he's done, not even too many
Speaker 3: people I love? Or should I be able to have
Speaker 3: that separation of like you know, because I still love it.
Speaker 3: It's not like at the end of the day, I mean,
Speaker 3: you are mad at him, but like I love him
Speaker 3: and I care about him.
Speaker 1: But here's what I'll tell you here, Like my my
Speaker 1: my thoughts is are you right to be mad? Of course,
Speaker 1: I don't think that feelings necessarily need a whole lot
Speaker 1: of justification, Like are you right to be mad? Who
Speaker 1: fucking cares you're mad? You know, it doesn't whether or
Speaker 1: not it's right, But I do. I do think this
Speaker 1: is something I've kind of been meditating on lately, is
Speaker 1: like there's only so much shit that's in your control,
Speaker 1: like how your dad treats your siblings. You know, it's
Speaker 1: it's valid that it makes you mad, but I think
Speaker 1: you have to look at how that anger is serving you,
Speaker 1: like it is it propelling you to make some sort
Speaker 1: of conscious choice or take some sort of conscious action
Speaker 1: to your or anyone's benefit, Because at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, I feel like, while while I think it's
Speaker 1: it's it's noble of you, you clearly are a person
Speaker 1: that cares a lot about other people, that cares a
Speaker 1: lot about your family, But I think that it might
Speaker 1: serve you to accept the fact that you can't control
Speaker 1: the actions of your dad. You can control how you
Speaker 1: talk to him, you can control how you treat him,
Speaker 1: you can control how you treat your siblings. And it
Speaker 1: sounds like from what you've told me, you've done all
Speaker 1: the things that you seems like you can. You've been honest,
Speaker 1: You've told him how you feel. You know, you can
Speaker 1: put as much effort as you want or don't want
Speaker 1: into cultivating a relationship with him. But the end of
Speaker 1: the day, I think there does need to be a
Speaker 1: little bit of acceptance that you can't control his behavior.
Speaker 1: You can't you can't. As much as you as much
Speaker 1: as you try, you can't make him act any sort
Speaker 1: of way to you or to your siblings. But you
Speaker 1: have but you have other things. But you have other
Speaker 1: things in your control, Like you control how you act
Speaker 1: to your siblings. So like, if you see something, if
Speaker 1: you feel like there's things that you got as a
Speaker 1: kid from your dad that you didn't that you see
Speaker 1: your siblings not getting and that pains you to see
Speaker 1: them not get it, Well, what can you do to
Speaker 1: give it to them?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Can you be more you know, loving and thoughtful toward
Speaker 1: your siblings. That's something that's in your control to do.
Speaker 1: You know, you can't make your dad do it, but
Speaker 1: you can sort of fill in the gaps that he's leaving,
Speaker 1: right And you know, I feel like that is a
Speaker 1: sort of productive application of your anger, you know. So
Speaker 1: so I would say take your anger. Take your anger,
Speaker 1: because you have it. You have your anger, and it's
Speaker 1: valid anger. Take it and apply it toward the transmute it.
Speaker 1: Apply it towards the things that you can control. You
Speaker 1: can control how you act towards your dad, You can
Speaker 1: control how you act towards your siblings. But you cannot,
Speaker 1: under any circumstances, control how he acts towards them. What
Speaker 1: do you think about all that?
Speaker 3: No, I completely agree with you. And you know, I
Speaker 3: do put, like, you know, expectations on people, and I
Speaker 3: get really hurt when you know they're not met. And
Speaker 3: it's just people are human and it's not fair to
Speaker 3: set any preconceived expectation on anyone, so you know, and
Speaker 3: I do my best to like you know, like you said,
Speaker 3: like fill the gaps like I you know, drove. I'll
Speaker 3: take my sister to tournaments and like you know, other states,
Speaker 3: and I'll spend time with her. And now that I've
Speaker 3: moved back in you know, under my mom's new place,
Speaker 3: but with my sister or sharing a bathroom, and I
Speaker 3: think it's a good opportunity for us to like kind
Speaker 3: of you know, build our relationships and kind of be
Speaker 3: that stiller. And she looks at me like a mom
Speaker 3: too much, because I'm like eight years older than her,
Speaker 3: and so I don't want to be and I don't
Speaker 3: want her to be because it's like I want her to
Speaker 3: look at me as like my sister, not like an
Speaker 3: older sister that she can talk to, not like an
Speaker 3: older mom.
Speaker 1: But well, listen, I'm glad to hear that you are
Speaker 1: finding ways to like transmute this anger. I think if
Speaker 1: I had to leave you with some sort of thesis
Speaker 1: of whatever this of of you know what this call is,
Speaker 1: it's like the solution would be to transmute that anger
Speaker 1: into u you know, productive things that you can do
Speaker 1: for yourself and your siblings, which it sounds like you're
Speaker 1: doing so, you know, props to you for you know,
Speaker 1: as we're talking about filling in those gaps before we go,
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: world or to they? You gotta go on the computer,
Speaker 1: m do you?
Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for taking my call. I called like four.
Speaker 1: Times and hit time you know any times.
Speaker 3: I know and you know, I know you don't. This
Speaker 3: is your platform originally wasn't for like therapy for people.
Speaker 3: It is just to talk. But I appreciate you always
Speaker 3: offering up the platform to like, you know, give advice.
Speaker 2: I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, I appreciate I appreciate that I get I
Speaker 1: give a shot anytime I I feel like I can,
Speaker 1: I try, I try, and I try to.
Speaker 3: At least.
Speaker 1: The last thing I ever want is to be some
Speaker 1: kind of a guru. But if I have a thought
Speaker 1: that sounds that in my head, I'm like, this sounds
Speaker 1: like it kind of makes sense. I will, I will.
Speaker 3: You've always sounded genuine and it's like, you know, I
Speaker 3: feel like people that I've listened to you like know
Speaker 3: that you're actually genuine and you'll listen to whoever talk
Speaker 3: about whatever. But ayways, I won't take any more of
Speaker 3: your time. But thanks, and I hope you have a
Speaker 3: good rest to your night.
Speaker 1: Thank you for calling, Alana Ghek bless you. Never be
Speaker 1: kid goes on the line making your phone calls every night.
Speaker 3: Never be Kid goes doing his eye.
Speaker 6: He's teaching you loud liver your life, but he's not
Speaker 6: really an expert.