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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVFM dot com

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Speaker 1: and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your

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Speaker 1: letter live on the air, just like we're going to

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Speaker 1: read this one right here, right now, and you never know,

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Speaker 1: it could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours.

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Speaker 3: Buckle up and hold on time. You got it for

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Speaker 3: it you here It is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you nephew. Subject his sister catfished me. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I'm thirty eight years old and I've been with the

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Speaker 1: same man for five years and he's not focused on

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Speaker 1: marriage or taking our relationship further, but he won't let

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Speaker 1: me go. He accuses me of seeking attention from other

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Speaker 1: men because of the way I dress, and I see

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Speaker 1: that as him not trusting me. He's so paranoid all

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Speaker 1: the time, so I reassure him that I'm not up

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Speaker 1: to no good when I'm hanging out with my friends.

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Speaker 1: I told myself i'd give him another year to propose.

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Speaker 1: I would I ever tell him about my deadline because

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Speaker 1: I don't want him to propose unless he really want to.

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Speaker 3: I took a.

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Speaker 1: Short break from him and I stopped playing house. I

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Speaker 1: went and stayed with my mom for a month to

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Speaker 1: force my boyfriend to take me on dates and make

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Speaker 1: time for me if he wanted to have sex with me.

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Speaker 1: During that time, I got a DM from a handsome

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Speaker 1: guy that said he saw me at a career fair

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Speaker 1: that I.

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Speaker 3: Was speaking at.

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Speaker 1: We exchanged phone numbers and I gave him career advice

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Speaker 1: and helped him with his resume. I never talked with

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Speaker 1: him on the phone, only texts and emails. He wanted

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Speaker 1: us to meet up somewhere and I told him that

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Speaker 1: I have a boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: That led to him opening.

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Speaker 1: Up about the trouble he was having with his love life,

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Speaker 1: and I told him about how my boyfriend takes me

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Speaker 1: for granted. Little did I know my boyfriend's seventeen year

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Speaker 1: old sister was catfishing me and I had been communicating

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Speaker 1: with her with her not the handsome guy.

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Speaker 3: I was so busted.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend broke up with me, and I tried to

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Speaker 1: reason with him, but then I realized that I'm too

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Speaker 1: old for games.

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Speaker 3: I did not cheat or do anything terrible.

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Speaker 1: Should I stop fighting for this relationship, Well, yeah, if

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Speaker 1: you're asking me, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, absolutely yes,

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Speaker 1: because what are you fighting for. You're not fighting for anything.

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Speaker 1: He's not worth it. What would you be fighting to

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Speaker 1: say you weren't happy with him anyway? I mean, you

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Speaker 1: said you've been with this man for five years and nothing,

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Speaker 1: no proposal, nothing, no working on the relationship, trying to

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Speaker 1: take it to the next level, none of that. And

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Speaker 1: all this moving in with your mom to force him

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Speaker 1: to take you out and to want to have sex.

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Speaker 3: With you is crazy.

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Speaker 1: I mean, don't you know if he wanted to do

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Speaker 1: any of these things, he would and that includes proposing

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Speaker 1: and his sister catfishing you.

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Speaker 3: What is that all about?

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Speaker 1: This is all just stupid and immag and like you say, games,

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Speaker 1: he broke up with you over that.

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Speaker 3: You didn't cheat or do anything terrible.

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Speaker 1: You said you helped this guy with his resume, you

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Speaker 1: gave him some career advice, and you told him you

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Speaker 1: had a man that took you for granted, you never

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Speaker 1: even saw this guy or talk to him on the phone,

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Speaker 1: and your man broke up with you over that after

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Speaker 1: five years of dating. I think this incident just gave

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Speaker 1: him a reason to do what he's wanting, what he

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Speaker 1: had been wanting to do all along, and.

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Speaker 3: That was get out of this relationship.

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Speaker 1: So to you, I say the same thing, get out

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Speaker 1: of this relationship, Steve Well, you're out.

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Speaker 3: Of it because he broke up with you, But get

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Speaker 3: over it.

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Speaker 2: Steve Well, just not a kind of ignorant to me.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I think I should address it as an

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Speaker 2: ignorant person. Doing mo in twenty four is my new slogan.

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Speaker 2: I've heard that somebody said that anyway, so I've just

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Speaker 2: adapted it. Certainly. Don't want to say thought of because

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Speaker 2: then that'll be just something else my asston stole.

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Speaker 3: So let's just say that, you know, talk about damn

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Speaker 3: stealing anyway.

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Speaker 2: God, you pray for me, Father, God helped that all

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Speaker 2: the time. I asked God to let that be more

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Speaker 2: of him and less of me in twenty four, more

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Speaker 2: you and less me in twenty four. And I'm trying

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Speaker 2: because to me is so dominant, I won't to say

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Speaker 2: something and respond, But the God in me is holding

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Speaker 2: my tongue. This thirty eight year old woman is dating

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Speaker 2: this man that ain't thinking about her really no further

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Speaker 2: than what it is he's really just got her dare

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Speaker 2: his beckoning call seems to me he's not focused on

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Speaker 2: marriage or taking a relationship further. But he won't let

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Speaker 2: me go. No, no, no, no, no, no, that's not true.

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Speaker 2: It ain't that he won't let you go, as you

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Speaker 2: won't leave. See, stop blaming me and for holding on

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Speaker 2: to you, when it's you that's holding on to them.

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Speaker 2: Stop giving a man that kind of power over you.

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Speaker 2: It ain't that he won't let you go, it's that

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Speaker 2: you don't have the courage to leave. Now. He's always

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Speaker 2: saying that you're trying to seek attention from other men

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Speaker 2: because of the way I dress, and I see that

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Speaker 2: as him not trusting me. Both of those things are true.

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Speaker 2: When you get dressed in the morning, ladies, don't you

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Speaker 2: dress to impress. It might be yourself, it might be

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Speaker 2: your coworkers, it might be your husband, But you.

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Speaker 3: Dressed to impress.

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Speaker 2: Now, if somebody at the job get impressed, then that's

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Speaker 2: just bonus. But I put it on to put it on,

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Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. I put it on to

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Speaker 2: put it on. And anyway, he's so paranoid, and I

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Speaker 2: got to reassure him that I'm up to no good

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Speaker 2: when I'm hanging out with my friends. I told myself

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Speaker 2: give him another year to propose, But I would never

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Speaker 2: tell him about my deadline because I don't want him

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Speaker 2: to propose unless he really wants to. Well, that don't

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Speaker 2: make no damn sense right there. That's a mistake. Ladies.

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Speaker 2: If y'all don't start putting timelines on some of these men,

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Speaker 2: you ain't gonna ever get what you want, because as

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Speaker 2: long as we get what we want, we cool. Now.

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Speaker 2: You did a smart thing. You took a short break

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Speaker 2: from him, man, you and you stopped playing house. You

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Speaker 2: went and stayed with your mom for a month to

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Speaker 2: force my boyfriend to take me on dates and make

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Speaker 2: time for me. If you wanted to have sex with me,

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Speaker 2: that was a good move. It just you only did

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Speaker 2: it for thirty days. You should have kept that plan

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Speaker 2: in place. We come back, we'll tell you about the

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Speaker 2: DM she got, how the catfish began.

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Speaker 1: All right, Steve, hang on, we'll have part two of

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Speaker 1: your response coming up at twenty three minutes after the

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Speaker 1: hour Today's Strawberry letter subject her sister. His sister catfished me.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this. You're listening

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Speaker 1: Hardy Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap

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Speaker 1: today's strawberry letter. The subject is his sister catfished me.

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Speaker 2: The thirty eight year old woman got this man that

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Speaker 2: don't have won hers, so she done play the games

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Speaker 2: with him and stuff, and she just set a deadline.

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Speaker 2: She want a proposal in a year, but she didn't

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Speaker 2: get a guy the deadline, which now he don't know

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Speaker 2: me and stupid, we don't take hints, So I think

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Speaker 2: you should. If you have a deadline, you ought to

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Speaker 2: give it to a guy, and you said the reason

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Speaker 2: you didn't do that because you didn't want him to

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Speaker 2: propose to you unless he really wants to. Well, they won't.

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Speaker 2: A man ain't gonna propose to you unless he really

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Speaker 2: want to. But he ain't gonna give you a date

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Speaker 2: unless he know you really wont to. Hello. You see

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Speaker 2: how it works. So you know y'all can't have one

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Speaker 2: without the other ladies. So you want to just stop

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Speaker 2: playing house with him. So you took a break from

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Speaker 2: him and you went and you stayed with your mom

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Speaker 2: for a month to force him to take your own

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Speaker 2: dates and make time for you if he wanted to

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Speaker 2: have sex.

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Speaker 3: With you.

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Speaker 2: During that time, I got a DM from a handsome

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Speaker 2: guy that said he saw me at a career fair

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Speaker 2: I was speaking at We exchange phone numbers. I gave

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Speaker 2: him career advice him on his resume. Never talked to

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Speaker 2: him on the phone, only texting emails. He wanted us

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Speaker 2: to meet up somewhere and I told him I have

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Speaker 2: a boyfriend. That led to him opening up about the

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Speaker 2: trouble he was having with his love life. And I

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Speaker 2: told him about how my boyfriend takes me for granted.

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Speaker 2: Little did I know my boyfriend's seventeen year old sister

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Speaker 2: was catfishing me. Now, for those of you that's like

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Speaker 2: me that thought that catfishing was a sport doing in

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Speaker 2: Mississippi and riverbanks, let me help you understand something. Catfishing

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Speaker 2: is when someone pretends to be someone else without your knowledge,

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Speaker 2: to get you to perform some type of act, could

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Speaker 2: get you to talk or make a commitment. What I

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Speaker 2: am keeping from you whole time their real identity. That's

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Speaker 2: basically what catfishing is. The boyfriend's seventeen year old girl

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Speaker 2: sent a picture to her saying this is who I am,

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Speaker 2: and I met you at a place she was speaking

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Speaker 2: at and that's what the catfish began. But because they

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Speaker 2: didn't get on the phone and have no verbal or

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Speaker 2: face time, see face timing stops all this. Yeah, But

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Speaker 2: because they didn't do no face timing, now you was

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Speaker 2: communicating with his seventeen year old sister who was catfishing

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Speaker 2: you because she don't like you anyway. And don't be

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Speaker 2: surprised if your boyfriend didn't put her up to it,

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Speaker 2: because he was jealousy of you anyway. So he probably

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Speaker 2: had his little sister do this to set you up

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Speaker 2: because he ain't trying to marry you all the new way.

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Speaker 2: He been suspicious that you anyway, So now he thought

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Speaker 2: he was busted, and you said, I'm so busted. My

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Speaker 2: boyfriend broke up with me. I tried to reason with him,

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Speaker 2: but then I realized I'm too old for games. I

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Speaker 2: did not cheat or do anything terrible. Should I stop

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Speaker 2: fighting for this relationship? Shirley said you should, And you

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Speaker 2: know what, I agree with her one hundred percent, cause

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Speaker 2: what you're fighting for, you ain't got time for these games.

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Speaker 2: Him always a little ignorant ass sister, though, But he'

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Speaker 2: more ignorant than the little sister is at least she's seventeen.

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Speaker 2: She done for a reason. You got catfished. So what

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Speaker 2: you didn't do nothing? You ain't meet with him. And

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Speaker 2: then when he tried to meet you told him you

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Speaker 2: had a boyfriend. He opened up about how he was

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Speaker 2: having a hard time with his girl. And then you said,

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend taking you for granted. Oh that's true. Now

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend gonna break up. Now he gonna make you

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Speaker 2: crawl back. Now y'all gonna start over, and now he

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Speaker 2: gonna buy another five years with you. That's how that's

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Speaker 2: gonna work. Good riddance. Next time you go to a

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Speaker 2: conference to speak, you need to spot a handsome guy

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Speaker 2: and dm him. Quit fooling with this man that ain't

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Speaker 2: fooling with you. And ladies, listen to me, stop expecting

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Speaker 2: a man to get the hints when we don't do

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Speaker 2: hints well at all. If you are giving your man

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Speaker 2: a year to propose to you, but you don't tell

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Speaker 2: him he got a year, and then he don't propose,

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Speaker 2: and now you mad. No, if he has a year

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Speaker 2: to propose, tell him. Listen, you got one year to

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Speaker 2: get yourself together. When it comes to me, if you

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Speaker 2: don't think you love me enough in a year to

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Speaker 2: want to spend the rest of your life with me,

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Speaker 2: then I will know any year and we can part ways.

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Speaker 2: That's what you have to do, So stop talking about

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Speaker 2: he woantn't let you go. No, you are afraid to leave.

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Speaker 2: That's all it is. Any questions, ladies, Charley.

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Speaker 3: Well, I mean, what do you think why did he

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Speaker 3: break up with her?

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Speaker 1: I think that he didn't do any of these things

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Speaker 1: because he didn't want to.

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Speaker 3: You know, he.

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Speaker 2: Doesn't want to marry her. He's not going to let

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Speaker 2: the relationship move any further because he's getting everything he wants.

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Speaker 2: They play in house, he having sex, he got the chicken,

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Speaker 2: his dreams. You want the day of your dreams when

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Speaker 2: that ain't his dream. You making all his dreams come true,

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Speaker 2: but he ain't making none of yours come true. So

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Speaker 2: that's why ladies always have to have that issue. That's

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Speaker 2: soft ultimatum, yeah or else, or else you're gonna have nothing.

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Speaker 2: And I don't see what you're fighting for. Let him

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Speaker 2: break up?

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Speaker 3: Bye?

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Speaker 1: Why is she she thinking that it's him that's paranoid.

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Speaker 1: It's him that's thinking that she's going out?

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Speaker 2: You know, because the man who have great manipulation skills

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Speaker 2: and will make you think it's you when it's them

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Speaker 2: the whole time. The best office is a good defense.

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Speaker 2: I mean, excuse me. The best defense is a good office.

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Speaker 2: If you throw in shade and blame all the other

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Speaker 2: person all the time, they ain't got time to throw

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Speaker 2: it on you because they're over there playing defense. It's

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Speaker 2: an old trick. Yeah, heating fools. You stop being fooled.

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Speaker 3: All right, Steve. Thank you.

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Speaker 1: Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey

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Speaker 1: FM on Instagram and Facebook, and check out the Strawberry

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Speaker 1: Letter podcast on a very free iHeartRadio app Free Never

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Speaker 1: sounded so good. Downloaded today. Now coming up at forty

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Speaker 1: six minutes after the hour, it's Junior and Sports Talk.

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Speaker 1: Right after this, you're listening to Harvey Morning Show.