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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Therapy for Black Girls Podcast, a weekly

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Speaker 1: conversation about mental health, personal development, and all the small

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Speaker 1: decisions we can make to become the best possible versions

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Speaker 1: of ourselves. I'm your host, doctor Joy Hard and Bradford,

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Speaker 1: a licensed psychologist in Atlanta, Georgia. For more information or

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Speaker 1: to find a therapist in your area, visit our website

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Speaker 1: at Therapy for Blackgirls dot com. While I hope you

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Speaker 1: love listening to and learning from the podcast, it is

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Speaker 1: not meant to be a substitute for a relationship with

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Speaker 1: a licensed mental health professional. Hey, y'all, thanks so much

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Speaker 1: for joining me for a fan favorite episode of the

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Speaker 1: Therapy for Black Girls Podcast. We'll get into today's reflections

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Speaker 1: right after a quick word from our sponsors. Today we're

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Speaker 1: throwing it back to session three twenty one, some thoughts

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Speaker 1: on playing small. This quick episode was inspired by a

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Speaker 1: line from Esa d the beloved character played by Ray

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Speaker 1: and Insecure. How much different would your life be if

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Speaker 1: you actually went after what you wanted. It's a question

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Speaker 1: that feels especially relevant now as we head into summer,

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Speaker 1: and we have to give a shout out to Esa

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Speaker 1: because she had bores like this throughout the entire season

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Speaker 1: that were both funny and relatable. The days are longer

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Speaker 1: and the sun is out, and so many of us

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Speaker 1: are ready to stretch, grow and shine a little brighter.

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Speaker 1: So what would it look like to stop shrinking and

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Speaker 1: give yourself permission to take up more space both at

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Speaker 1: work and in your daily life, as well as in

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Speaker 1: your relationships and dreams. I hope this episode encourage you

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Speaker 1: to reflect on where you might be playing small and

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Speaker 1: how you can start showing up more fully for yourself.

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Speaker 1: After you listen, I'd love to hear what comes up

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Speaker 1: for you. Let's get into it. I've been wanting to

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Speaker 1: experiment with shorter, more actionable field episodes for a minute,

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Speaker 1: so today is my first foray into what I'm right

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Speaker 1: now calling I have some thoughts on blank for this episode.

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Speaker 1: I want to share some thoughts on playing small this weekend.

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Speaker 1: I started rewatching Insecure from the beginning and was struck

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Speaker 1: when one of the first lines Issa has in episode

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Speaker 1: one is her asking herself, how much different would my

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Speaker 1: life be if I actually went after what I wanted?

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Speaker 1: Now y'all already know Insecure is one of my favorite

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Speaker 1: shows for lots of reasons, but chief among them is

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Speaker 1: the ability the writing has to pierce at the heart

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Speaker 1: of what so many of us struggle with, in this case,

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Speaker 1: the struggle with playing it safe, not doing too much,

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Speaker 1: not taking up more space. With this line, Asa verbalizes

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Speaker 1: a dilemma many of us have or are currently trying

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Speaker 1: to navigate. What would happen if I really went after

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Speaker 1: the life I really want for myself? Now, there are

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Speaker 1: a lot of reasons why this might be hard for us.

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Speaker 1: It could be that even though we like something different,

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Speaker 1: our current state is comfortable, while the idea of an

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Speaker 1: unknown makes us uncomfortable. It could be that we don't

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Speaker 1: know what steps to take to get to what's next,

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Speaker 1: or it may be that we doubt our ability to

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Speaker 1: actually obtain what we truly want. If this is something

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Speaker 1: you struggle with, I want to share a few questions

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Speaker 1: for you to consider and maybe even take to your

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Speaker 1: journal if you'd like that. This might help you to

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Speaker 1: get some clarity on what's stopping you from playing bigger

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Speaker 1: and help you to take some steps in the direction

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Speaker 1: toward the life you really want. Question number one, what

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Speaker 1: are you afraid will happen if you went after what

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Speaker 1: you really wanted in life? What would happen? Is there

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Speaker 1: fear related to this decision? What are you afraid will happen?

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Speaker 1: Question number two? Whose criticism sounds the loudest in your head?

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Speaker 1: Many times it's difficult for us to move forward because

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Speaker 1: we've been criticized in the past. Does someone's voice come

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Speaker 1: to mind? Whose voice is it? Question three? What will

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Speaker 1: have to be left behind in order to go after

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Speaker 1: what you want? Are there habits that you'll have to

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Speaker 1: leave behind, environments, maybe even people? What will have to

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Speaker 1: be left behind to go after what you want? And

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Speaker 1: is the grief related to this keeping you at a standstill?

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Speaker 1: Question four? What support and our resources do you need

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Speaker 1: and how can you obtain it? Is there somebody or

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Speaker 1: some organization you need to reach out to that can

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Speaker 1: answer some questions for you? And Question five? What's the

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Speaker 1: smallest step you can take towards this new reality? How

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Speaker 1: can you take a tiny, small step in this direction?

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Speaker 1: Is it through sending an email, maybe listening to a

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Speaker 1: podcast where someone who has done what you're trying to

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Speaker 1: do has been interviewed. What's one thing you can do

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Speaker 1: to get some movement started? I want you to remember

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Speaker 1: that the things that we are called to do are

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Speaker 1: often tied to the destiny of others as well, So

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Speaker 1: when the fear gets too big or you get too

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Speaker 1: worried about what others might say, try to silence those

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Speaker 1: thoughts by remembering that someone is waiting for you to

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Speaker 1: stop hesitating so that they can take their next step

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Speaker 1: as well. If you're so inclined, I'd love to hear

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Speaker 1: the small step you're going to take or the dream

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Speaker 1: you've been sitting on, both to celebrate with you and

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Speaker 1: to serve as a space for you to boldly proclaim

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Speaker 1: walking in this new path. I hope you're visiting this

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Speaker 1: session gave you something to reflect on and maybe the

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Speaker 1: gentle push you needed to stop playing small in this

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Speaker 1: new season. If it resonated with you, share with a

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Speaker 1: friend who might need the same reminder, And if you'd

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Speaker 1: like to keep talking with us about how to take

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Speaker 1: up more space, come on over and join us in

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Speaker 1: our Patreon at patreon dot com slash Therapy for Black Girls.

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Speaker 1: This episode was originally produced by the Therapy for Black

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Speaker 1: Girls team and is brought to you again by Elise Ellis, Indechubu,

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Speaker 1: and Tyree Rush. Editing was done by Dennis and Bradford

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Speaker 1: thank y'all so much for joining me again this week.

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Speaker 1: I look forward to continuing this conversation with you all

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Speaker 1: real soon. Take good care,