00:00:08 Speaker 1: And I invited you here. Thought I made myself perfectly clear. When you're a guest in my home, you gotta come to me empty. And I said, no, guests, your own presences. Presence, and I already had too much stuff. So how did you dare to surbey me? 00:00:48 Speaker 2: Welcome to I said, no gifts. I'm Brigard Wineker. We're in the backyard as usual. It's lovely weather. I just want to you can. 00:01:00 Speaker 3: Sort of this lovely weather. 00:01:01 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love this. Okay, the guest is already. We'll get into what type of weather we're dealing with here, but I do need to send out an alert because I wish I had known this. I recently bought I just thought I was gonna get myself a little treat at the airport. I bought a white Gatorade for the first time in probably fifteen years. It's no longer the same flavor of white Gatorade that it used to be. It's a horrible cherry flavor. And then I was stuck with that on the plane. So I'm just getting that news out. We're hearing the podcast. I mean, the guest is already here. I really really love today's guest it's Robbie Hoffman. Robbie welcome guy said, no gifts, thanks for having me. So you're not into this weather? 00:01:44 Speaker 3: Oh what is it? It's not even weather. It's gray white. It's a little cold. It's always been a little cold in LA for months and months and months. I think LA is losing its weather edge. 00:01:58 Speaker 2: I mean it has been probably since November kind of not winter, not spring, and. 00:02:05 Speaker 3: Now we're basically June, and this is what it is, and people need to acclimate to a new normal. LA isn't what it was, just like the gatorade isn't what it was. And the sooner we can accept those changes, the sooner we can, you know, live with them. 00:02:24 Speaker 2: How long have you been in La? 00:02:25 Speaker 3: Like five years? 00:02:27 Speaker 2: I feel like, well, June has always been bad, not bad weather, but this like gloomy. 00:02:33 Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no, this is this is what I mean. This has been gloomy. The past couple of years is worse. I'm telling you. We've had hot, hot, hot marches. We've had hot aprils, We've had hot Mays, scorching July and September. June, yeah, June hot, June is never hot, Yes, it is. How long you've been here. 00:02:53 Speaker 2: I've been here for thirteen years. 00:02:55 Speaker 3: Whatever. Okay, what is it a competition? 00:02:59 Speaker 2: Yes, June people need to know. If you're planning on vacation to La June is not the time you want to come for La weather. 00:03:09 Speaker 3: You want to come in the winter. 00:03:11 Speaker 2: You want to come October to December. Yeah, but before the middle of December, because that's when things go to hell, that's when the rain comes. 00:03:19 Speaker 3: Guys. La just isn't what it was. It's fine, it's still better than most places, but come on, we got to al Nino. I don't know what it is. 00:03:26 Speaker 2: It's something is happening, right, Yeah, I feel like it's back in the news. 00:03:30 Speaker 3: Yeah. No, it's definitely. I never think that they said it went away. It's just it's like COVID, it's with us forever. 00:03:36 Speaker 2: Is that true? Is El Nino just kind of an ongoing weather pattern. 00:03:39 Speaker 3: Yeah. I think it's like a global warming and that's that. 00:03:42 Speaker 2: And was there an al Nina? 00:03:43 Speaker 3: There was a couple l's I don't know what they are, but they're all here to. 00:03:48 Speaker 2: Stay and El Nino just kind of I think makes things more extreme or something. 00:03:53 Speaker 3: Yeah, everything that is a new thing just ends up now. Adding to the thing, and it's going to be supplier and yeah, and it's just like it stays forever. Nothing is temporary anymore. Everything everything you have is you know, yeah, everything just adds on and it adds a new layer of something you deal with forever. 00:04:11 Speaker 2: I will say egg prices weren't forever. It felt like egg prices were going to be up forever. 00:04:16 Speaker 3: I said, egg egg prices. But I understand that that was a concern for people. 00:04:20 Speaker 2: It was a huge, huge concern. 00:04:22 Speaker 3: Yeah, and it should be, you know, but that is forever. Inflation and companies taking advantage, that absolutely is forever. In the capitalist society where you know, the it's everything has to get bigger, everything has to make more money. 00:04:38 Speaker 2: Everything gets bigger and then permanent. But that's why eggs gave me a little hope because I thought they're nine dollars. Now they're nine dollars forever. They're back to three dollars. 00:04:46 Speaker 3: Sure, but they'll in check again in sheet again. 00:04:50 Speaker 2: I hope not. 00:04:51 Speaker 3: I know, so I've speak in ten years and ask how much they are. They'll be nine dollars easy. 00:04:56 Speaker 2: Every restaurant now a meal is twenty five dollars. Yeah, can't get away without a twenty five dollars. 00:05:02 Speaker 3: Yeah, there's employee wellness surcharges. Now we're subsidizing the owners of the restaurants instead of them paying fair wages, we pay for it. 00:05:11 Speaker 2: There's a tip for everything, and I do the tip. But why is the owner of the restaurant just not putting that in the cost of the food. 00:05:19 Speaker 3: Because we subsidize business owners. 00:05:22 Speaker 2: You shift the guilt onto the consumer. 00:05:23 Speaker 3: Exactly. 00:05:24 Speaker 2: It's a horrible hea. 00:05:25 Speaker 3: It's like Walmart or Target or all these stores who have police in their stores because people steal rather than having security. So now the public pays for their security, right, so they don't pay their security costs have gone down. They could hire security guards. Interesting, they say, well, because of theft, they want police people there who place for the police officers? 00:05:46 Speaker 2: Oh, proably. Yeah, I mean I've done a little research into the shoplifting world and a lot of you know, because a lot of these big box stores will just let people steal things that are cheap because it's cheaper to do that than to pay an employee. 00:06:01 Speaker 3: Yeah, and also they're stealing, of course, they're stealing labor, they're stealing and yeah, the large scale theft. That's just the way the world is moving. Perfect. It's lovely to fantastic. I couldn't picture a better world. 00:06:20 Speaker 2: Going to get what is system closer to the perfect world we're looking for. 00:06:23 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's excellent. I love subsidizing absolutely everything. 00:06:29 Speaker 2: But ultimately, the weather's good. 00:06:30 Speaker 3: Right now, it's fine. I wouldn't consider as. 00:06:32 Speaker 2: Good weather, but it's pleasant and you feel it. 00:06:35 Speaker 3: Literally is fine, nothing more, nothing less. It's fine. 00:06:38 Speaker 2: You're neither hot nor cold. 00:06:40 Speaker 3: No, but I'm I'm I'm gloomed. I don't like a white sky. Give me blue, okay, give me rain. 00:06:47 Speaker 2: You come up from kind of gloomy climates, sure. 00:06:51 Speaker 3: But you know what you're you're suggesting to Canada, Canada, and you're still and I'm just saying. When it's summer in Canada, it's fucking summer. That's how you something about this. In the winter in Canada, too, it's sunny as all hell. 00:07:03 Speaker 2: It's a really really crystal clear blue scratch. 00:07:05 Speaker 3: Yeah, beautiful, Okay, beautiful. 00:07:08 Speaker 2: When it's the winter in Utah, That's where I'm from, the skies are either blue or the most depressing gray you can possibly. 00:07:15 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's what this looks like too A little bit gray. 00:07:18 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I like this grey. 00:07:19 Speaker 1: Okay. 00:07:20 Speaker 3: Well, here's where you and I differ. The only way we different. 00:07:25 Speaker 2: Our single difference. Otherwise for mirror image, I mean, I am sitting on the other side. We should mention to the listeners sides you and I have switched seats. I'm usually in your. 00:07:35 Speaker 3: See, I'm very comfortable. How are you feeling? 00:07:37 Speaker 2: I feel interesting? 00:07:38 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're you're a little you know what it's like. I imagine for a man masturbating with the other hand or something that's exactly what it must be, something like that. 00:07:48 Speaker 2: It does feel. I don't know how to really describe it, but I feel like my hair part is on the other side. Thank you. I need a haircut desperately. 00:08:00 Speaker 1: Really. 00:08:00 Speaker 2: I think I went one week too long. 00:08:02 Speaker 3: Yeah, do you ever get that? We're like, no, I go to Supercuts. Nobody knows what's happening with my hair. It's in the back, I pull it back, nobody is concerned. 00:08:09 Speaker 2: How much is Supercuts charge for a haircut? R Twenty six dollars twenty six dollars. 00:08:12 Speaker 3: Yeah that's not nothing. 00:08:13 Speaker 2: That's not nothing, but it's better than most places. Now, Oh absolutely, I mean I'm I'm paying forty at my barber, okay, which is just recently went up. As we're talking about inflation five dollars. 00:08:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, inflation is also manufactured. I love that we say it like as inflation, as if we don't call it like as greedy people charge people. 00:08:32 Speaker 2: More, right, just wanting more. 00:08:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like we're like, well, inflation, this is not like real inflation. This is just like greedy people squeezing continuously, right, I'm loving it onto the consumer. 00:08:42 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I guess supercuts, well, twenty six dollars, it's fine, I feel. I like, about seven years ago, I revealed to some coworkers that I had paid thirty dollars for a haircut. They couldn't believe I had paid thirty dollars for. 00:08:56 Speaker 3: I mean, I know people. I mean I'm dating a girl now. I think she's that she sits in the chair, she can sit up to six hours, and it's probably like six hundred dollars. 00:09:04 Speaker 2: That to me is absolutely wild. 00:09:07 Speaker 3: That's what people do. Expenses. 00:09:10 Speaker 2: How often she's getting her hair done. 00:09:12 Speaker 3: Doesn't seem often, but it's still what an expenditure. Right to be a woman, my god, to be a feminine woman, I'm just an unbelievable. There's the tax where's the tax break? There? 00:09:23 Speaker 2: There simply a woman break. It got a steal. 00:09:28 Speaker 3: It is stealing. 00:09:30 Speaker 2: You sold your car reson that so I did because I looked at your Instagram. That car was beautiful. 00:09:34 Speaker 3: It was amazing. 00:09:35 Speaker 2: Is it a Toyota? 00:09:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, toota curl in nineteen eighty three? 00:09:38 Speaker 2: Gorgeous. What happened? 00:09:40 Speaker 3: I needed to be driving further distances and it was time to improve the safety of my life. Oh sure, an airbag type you know, a seatbelt that function, things like this, just basic, basic things. So we sold the car and we got a car. You know, now I have air bags. I'm in the modern world. But I do love and miss that car, and which I do regret but not being able to also keep it. But that felt excessive. 00:10:03 Speaker 2: Right to have two cars, you may. 00:10:05 Speaker 3: What am I to stand up comic with two cars? 00:10:07 Speaker 2: Right to happen to have two cars? We're even storing the second car. 00:10:12 Speaker 3: That's it. And street parking, yeah, no, it's awful. 00:10:17 Speaker 2: Constant panic. 00:10:18 Speaker 3: Street parking another scam. Oh shoot side you never see anybody sweep the streets, but they definitely give the tickets. 00:10:24 Speaker 2: I've gotten the tickets. 00:10:26 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course they do the ticket sweep. 00:10:28 Speaker 2: But then there are streets that simply don't have that. For example, the street I'm living on, there's no street sweeping. Our streets perfectly clean. 00:10:36 Speaker 3: No, they never clean. I've in five years in La I've never seen the street sweep. Maybe one truck I saw once and he was like getting onto the highway, not even cleaning. Like, and yet the ticket guys come. 00:10:48 Speaker 2: There's not enough sweeping to justify the amount of tickets. 00:10:50 Speaker 3: Yeah, they know the hours of work, they know nobody. You know, most people who are living in these neighborhoods can't suddenly move their car at eleven am or something. You know, they could just not do it like rich neighborhoods. 00:11:02 Speaker 2: Well, and that's the other thing you look at all. I mean, the why isn't there just a universal parking rule. Rich neighborhoods get these nice parking hours. Other neighborhoods don't get nice. 00:11:12 Speaker 3: Parking hours because they make more tax dollars, and those tax dollars don't go back to the board, they go to the rich. 00:11:17 Speaker 2: Again, we all need to just fight and just demand detail. 00:11:21 Speaker 3: Somebody I know, But there's we can't fight. We've set up the system so that money wins. 00:11:26 Speaker 2: Do you know of any of the good LA parking secrets? Don't? 00:11:30 Speaker 3: Yes, I know the after the yellow spots, yellow, the yellow spots after six on the weekends, loading, loading the yellow spots. I'm all up on it. 00:11:40 Speaker 2: Oh. 00:11:41 Speaker 3: If it's a trick, I know you have to keep it down. 00:11:44 Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, broadcast, I'm going to be. 00:11:46 Speaker 3: Like, I know a yellow spot right here? Forget it. 00:11:49 Speaker 2: How long have you had your car? 00:11:51 Speaker 3: I had my car almost seven years? 00:11:52 Speaker 2: Wow? Wasn't your first car when you got to LA? 00:11:55 Speaker 3: First car ever? 00:11:56 Speaker 2: First car ever ever? Wow? Oh wait, but so you had it before La. Did you drive it here? 00:12:01 Speaker 3: No? I probably like I was going back and forth between Toronto and LA for a while. The focus like permanently, permanently. That's why I say I think about five years, because I also went back to New York for two years during that, but I kept my apartment. So yeah, I had it. I had it almost seven years. 00:12:18 Speaker 2: And did you seek that particular model out? Because it's like a it's a great looking car. 00:12:23 Speaker 3: It's a great car. I like old cars my thing. When I moved to LA or when I was thinking about it. I didn't have credit here at first because I was coming from Canada as an adult, so I'd never worked in the US, so I never built up any credit or I had an American credit card. I had everything Canadian and credit doesn't transfer, that's internationally, so you start from zero. So you know, maybe I was issued a credit card for three hundred dollars or something. So you can't lease a car. You can't. You have no credit history. You don't have bad credit, but there's no history, so it takes you about a six months a year to build up a history. You spend the three hundred on your car on your card, you pay it back, you know, things like that to get you at least my credit score right. So once I realized I had to buy a car because I couldn't lease a car, then I'm like, all right, then we buy something we enjoy. So I said, even if the car last me a year, terrific, then I'll get something great after whatever, like who cares? And it ended up being the best thing. 00:13:24 Speaker 2: How much did you pay for it? Thirty six hundred not a bad deal for such a mint condition. 00:13:28 Speaker 3: Wanted fifty five hundred. I bought thirty six. I brought thirty six hundred cash with me and very hard to say no to cash. And that was it and it ended up being just a great car. 00:13:38 Speaker 2: And seat belt was it just a lap belt or did I have a shoulder? 00:13:41 Speaker 3: It had a shoulder, you know, when it worked. There were issues with the seat belt. I would give up that. There was certainly seatbelt malfunctions. 00:13:50 Speaker 2: I drove an eighty six accurate Legend for a really long time. 00:13:53 Speaker 3: Nice, but it was. 00:13:55 Speaker 2: Absolutely falling apart, just a huge hole that oil leaked out of. I was putting oil in it probably every nine days. 00:14:01 Speaker 3: That's horrible. 00:14:02 Speaker 2: Not a great experience. But it was a luxury car, you know. It had luxury holdovers from nineteen eighty six which were terrific, like leather seats, power windows, sun roof, there were holes in it, et cetera. But it felt kind of luxurious. 00:14:20 Speaker 3: Right, It sounds like a fucking nightmare. 00:14:24 Speaker 2: I think I paid one thousand dollars for it, Okay, sold it for more somehow. 00:14:28 Speaker 3: Yeah, I sold nine for six Wow. 00:14:30 Speaker 2: Yeah, did you sell it through craigslist? 00:14:33 Speaker 3: My friend Sophie shout out to Sophie Blumenthal sp exchange on Instagram for all your furniture resale needs fashion design help. She's just terrific sold it for me. 00:14:44 Speaker 2: She just is she kind of a car broker? 00:14:47 Speaker 3: No, she just she's she's good at flipping old things. Okay, she's a very high end furniture dealer and sp exchange. 00:14:54 Speaker 2: So can I ask what you're driving now? 00:14:57 Speaker 3: A Porsche at two thousand and seven Porsch? 00:14:59 Speaker 2: Is that true? What? Yeah? Is it like a car or like a crossover? 00:15:05 Speaker 3: No? No, no, it's a car. It's a base model caman. Probably the Porsche people probably hate it. It's the lowest model, low of the low Porsche for two thousand and seven. I found it on Greg's list. Wownya is it fast? It's excellent, It's incredible. Yeah, you don't really get to pick your colors when you're buying an old car. I would never buy a new car. I would only ever buy an old car and flip it and something. You know, when I bought my tutor, I knew I could sell it for at least that right, So I actually never spent any money on a car. I took the six thousand, I put it to the Porsche. When everything was said and down. I spent about fourteen on the Porsche. Ok, and I'll at least get twenty for it. Wow, what color only appreciates? So cars that are classic and Porsche always is always hold their value versus if I bought Some people spend thirty grand on our new Kiya right, and it has a zero resell value. So they literally did spend thirty k. That blows my mind. I just put fourteen K into a car. It's sitting there just waiting to Yeah, it holds it. I haven't spent it. It's like it's a very deep blue and it's got race stripes on it. 00:16:14 Speaker 2: This sounds great. 00:16:15 Speaker 3: Yeah, it is great. It is great. It's amazing. It's a big My seatbelts were great, my windows up and down. It reps really nicely. It's got some scratches on it, but all cosmetic. The engine transmission terrific. 00:16:30 Speaker 2: And did you the kids at the playground today. 00:16:33 Speaker 3: Are kids kids being kids? 00:16:35 Speaker 2: It's just waiting. Did you say I want to buy a Porsche or was it just kind of tooling around and people who say Porsche, what's going on there? 00:16:44 Speaker 3: They say it, Well, you know, it's like you know, Germany or something or like Edinburgh, right, Edinburgh? Would you say it? How we need to say it? And when you're there, say, you know, Germany is what it's uh, Deutschland, Deutsche right, Germany, Deutsche Land. But that is what it's called. 00:17:05 Speaker 2: Isn't that? That is so bizarre to me? Where it's it's almost like someone you being like my name is Robbie and me being like, hie. 00:17:13 Speaker 3: It's Land and we say Germany because it's a different language and it's a different intonation, it's a different dialect, and so I have no problem saying Porsche when I'm here. And if I'm there and they say Porsche and they're speaking a different language, then sure it's that. 00:17:24 Speaker 2: Yeah. I guess there was just a period in history where people are like, no, I'm just going to call you whatever whatever I feel I call it. 00:17:30 Speaker 3: We don't say deutsch Land, we say Germany. 00:17:32 Speaker 2: Deutschland is a wonderful word. 00:17:34 Speaker 3: It's scary. I find it terrifying personally, that's problem. Yeah, yeah, I find it terrifying. 00:17:41 Speaker 2: But yeah, there's kind of a there's not a great feeling with that word. 00:17:45 Speaker 3: No, no, no, how did. 00:17:47 Speaker 2: We get to Deutsch? Do you have like a least favorite cars or a car that, like you see someone driving, you're just like God. 00:17:54 Speaker 3: The Prius is probably least favorite car. 00:17:57 Speaker 2: The pri is such an innocent call. 00:17:59 Speaker 3: No, they've gone out of their way to make it horrible inside, to make it boring, to make it a brutal I love to drive, I love thinking in the car, I love driving, but they've gone out of their way to make you absolutely bored. The other second, I almost hate this one more because they purport to have effort. Is the Tesla. 00:18:20 Speaker 2: Oh if the Tesla and the cheap. 00:18:23 Speaker 3: It seems really cheap and clickety like planky inside the iPad that they slapped in the middle of it. It not being integrated into the dash is obscene. I think thoughtless Steve Jobs would roll over like the thing is is that he tried to make the iPhone car, but he has no style like Steve Jobs had. Steve Jobs would not have put it out until the screen was integrated into the dash rounded something. It would have been very sleek. It's not suddenly everything sleek and then we tack this on right what so I find Yeah, Tesla is just avoid of any real taste or style. 00:19:00 Speaker 2: We have two things to say about Tesla. First, the design of the like the car version very much looks to me like like a racing video game. Couldn't get the license to an actual sports car. Yeah, and so they made like an approximation of them. 00:19:12 Speaker 3: Yeah, they pull from Porsche, they pull from from whatever. 00:19:15 Speaker 2: Right, it kind of looks like a cheap video game car. Second of all, I think people who like, if someone buys a Tesla today, you're now making a really tacky choice. Before it was like you want an electric car whatever, But now it's like the curtain is off. We all know what's going on. There are other electric cars. What are you doing? 00:19:33 Speaker 3: Yeah? And also electric cars it's there's gonna be it's also a scam with the batteries and everything. You think there's no way an electric car, Yeah, well there's no way for us to I can. I don't think there's a way to save energy. I think this is a limited resources. But batteries of these electric cars are going to be a massive e waste issue that just replaces another issue of carbon and interest. So it's like we haven't gone to the solution. I would say the best solution is to buy used, recycle and cars with small engines. Or cars with small that you don't use as much fuel you're driving. You're driving a Porsche, very small car. 00:20:13 Speaker 2: Though, what's your mileche on this thing? Or what do you get to the game? 00:20:18 Speaker 3: Oh? I don't know, but it's really small, like compared to an suv, right of course, or a car that people have now, they're just so much bigger, right. 00:20:26 Speaker 2: I mean, for me, the least favorite cars will always be the range Rover. I like the range Rover sends me into an absolute rage just saying one. 00:20:34 Speaker 3: Yeah, I like them. I appreciate, but I hear their nightmares to deal with They've got. 00:20:38 Speaker 2: To be nightmares. Yeah, and I mean the gas that those things go through. 00:20:43 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're that stupid everybody having a big car. I have two seats. I'm not car pooling. I don't you fucking take an uber. It's not taking you anywhere. If you're not, If you're not my girl, get the fuck out of my car. I got nothing to do with you in my car. 00:20:59 Speaker 2: It is so rare that I have like a full four people in my car. 00:21:03 Speaker 3: No, it's like having a guest room for this. It's like, what get a hotel? You're staying here? You're not staying here. No, I keep be in a guest room for one week a year. Get the hell out of here. You're grown waste, absolute waste. 00:21:20 Speaker 2: Well, look, we've got to talk about something else. Podcast is called. I said, no gifts. Yeah, I was really excited to have you here today. 00:21:27 Speaker 3: Oh great, I know nothing about your full discussion. 00:21:30 Speaker 2: I think you're so funny. 00:21:31 Speaker 3: I think you're funny. I'm enjoying talking to. 00:21:33 Speaker 2: I was really looking forward to you being here. 00:21:35 Speaker 3: I'm thrilled to be here. 00:21:36 Speaker 2: You show up and you have a gift. Yes, it should we open the gift. What's the deal? 00:21:41 Speaker 3: Yeah, let me give you the gift. 00:21:58 Speaker 2: Okay, it's in your glasses case. So it's kind of a sneak gift. 00:22:01 Speaker 3: Yeah. Well what am I going out of my way to toys? R us picking the latest, the greatest lego. No, the fucking contner says I need a gift. I said, all right, I'll bring them whatever the hell I have. I can you know this guy, he's asking me for shit already. I'm not getting paid for this. I brought you a cigarette. 00:22:18 Speaker 2: A cigarette? 00:22:19 Speaker 3: Oh my god, this is depending who you are. It's a great gift. Let's say you needed a cigarette. 00:22:24 Speaker 2: I've never smoked a cigarette, so smoke one. No, absolutely, Well, there are so many things I'll do on this podcast. I will not smoke a cigarette. 00:22:31 Speaker 3: Okay, Well, do you smoke occasionally? Socially? 00:22:35 Speaker 2: Occasional smokers are so interesting to me. Yeah, because it is such a highly addictive thing. 00:22:41 Speaker 3: Well, it depends if you have an addictive person. I can go through EBB and flows like I can have a pack and then not for six months. 00:22:46 Speaker 2: I mean, to me, that seems really like an impressive human feet. 00:22:49 Speaker 3: I think different people have a propensity towards addiction, right, I mean I grew up kosher, very like dietary restrictions, probably till about nine. And I was very comfortable with temptation. When I was younger and kids would walk by with McDonald's. All I wanted was a nugget, right right. But the smell would pass and I would be home and eat my mother's stew or whatever the hell she made, and I was satiated and full, and I never thought about it again. So I'm very okay with temptation. 00:23:19 Speaker 2: Wow, that's yeah. I think I avoid temptation. I don't know that I'm good with it. 00:23:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, I've practiced it though from a young age, and many many aspects can't do this. You can't. You know, there's many things I would want to do as a kid that I just accepted I didn't do right, and it's okay, you want to for a second and let it pass. It's the same in a relationship when people are tempted by others and I don't really have that. Let's say I'm in a relationship. Typically I'm choosing to be in that relationship, thrilled about it, but I'm not easily tempted by somebody like a flirt or something like that. Or I'm fine too, all right, she talked to me in a way and I move on. 00:24:00 Speaker 2: That's terrific. I mean, what are some things that like as you became an adult, you that you wanted to try as a kid that you've like? 00:24:06 Speaker 3: The food like McDonald's. I think it's the best restaurant in the world. Yeah, I probably have it once a month now. 00:24:12 Speaker 2: Order of McDonald's. 00:24:13 Speaker 3: I like the McChicken co medium fry diet coke. I stick with that. I like also the two burger. 00:24:22 Speaker 2: Cheeseburger. That's my order. 00:24:24 Speaker 3: If I'm a McDonald's, yea so it's just nice. It's just you know, they have the most restaurants in the world for a reason. 00:24:31 Speaker 2: Right, right, So you tried McDonalds twice. 00:24:33 Speaker 3: I think it's the best restaurant in the world. 00:24:35 Speaker 2: Taste only wow, and do you like do you think that's because of like the calculated like the food science version of McDonald's. 00:24:42 Speaker 3: It's candy, it's it's the best tasting food. 00:24:46 Speaker 2: I don't I don't know that. I like a McChicken, that's fine. I like a chicken McNugget. 00:24:51 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. The nuggets is too much. 00:24:54 Speaker 2: See the exact opposite for me. I feel like the McChicken is too much of the with the McNugget. I can one have some French fries and I'm really you can modulate how much chicken you're eating. 00:25:06 Speaker 3: I might pick up a M chicken meal after this. 00:25:09 Speaker 2: There's one down the street. 00:25:10 Speaker 3: He can't wait. 00:25:11 Speaker 2: I've got easy access to McDonald's. 00:25:13 Speaker 3: That's say perfect, that's perfect. 00:25:15 Speaker 2: Okay, So you've tried food, like new foods that you were able to try before anything. I smoked. 00:25:23 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's fun. 00:25:24 Speaker 2: When did you start smoking? 00:25:25 Speaker 3: I wouldn't say I even started smoking Okay, just if I have drinks or whatever, people smoke. It's social. I love to be social. Right, I'm smoking a lot this month, just because I'm in love and having fun and letting myself live a life. But I'll cut it out. 00:25:43 Speaker 2: Does your girlfriend smoke? 00:25:45 Speaker 3: No, we just enjoy to share a cigarette after a drink or something when we're talking. 00:25:50 Speaker 2: Wow, that's a really I guess, like if there's an ideal of smoking, this is it. 00:25:54 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:25:55 Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I think if you have an addictive personality whatever, maybe don't do you know that? But I've never done drugs or that sort of thing, so and it doesn't that doesn't. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. 00:26:06 Speaker 2: Somebody recently asked me if I had done cocaine, and I never. I haven't, and I because I know, just based on my normal chemical level of personality, I would need that drug all day every day. 00:26:16 Speaker 3: Oh, you have an addictive No, I think I would be scared. I'm I'm always scared of like I do stand up and I don't have the temperament for the scene. Oh you know, so I'm not like hanging out and all these like old guys want to just like I don't want to hang out with you guys. I have friends and a girlfriend and a life, and can I work and go home you know, exact way. That's why I am so I don't love like you know, a mask. Like if somebody is like medicating or something in a way that makes me uncomfortable, I feel like it's kind of their problem. I don't want to be around their problems as much, right, I get my own that. I want to just take care of me. 00:26:59 Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I'm I mean, I'm fully on board with this. I mean I don't do stand up, but coworkers wanting to do things outside of work. It's just like we just spent eight hours together. Yeah, why in the world. 00:27:12 Speaker 1: I love to. 00:27:12 Speaker 3: Trash doc if I'm working a show, if I'm staffing, I love a gossip After work, we get in the elevator, shut up, wait till the doors closed, and then you fucking unload. There's something really cathartic about creating drama and then shit talking. That's what work is. It's a lot of political dramas and hating people, rage, hating, and it's all kind of harmless hate. So it's it's really a nice outlet for that sort of thing. 00:27:39 Speaker 2: So much of shit. Talking has fallen away with Zoom, because if you're in a writer's room on Zoom, there's frequently one person that you're like. I'm pretty sure several of my coworkers also hate this person, and there's no real. 00:27:52 Speaker 3: Way to Yeah, I would I hit the phones. I love to hit the phones after work, hit and stand up. We still to you know, should talk and it's all good. Doesn't mean to go I should talk. I don't like you. This is just how I like. This is how we communicate, right right, Not the most personal thing in the world. 00:28:10 Speaker 2: No, it feels great to just know somebody else doesn't like a person. Makes you feel a little less crazy. Yeah, of course, it's just something to talk about. 00:28:20 Speaker 3: It's great and it's great fodder. 00:28:22 Speaker 2: It's incredible fodder people. 00:28:24 Speaker 3: You know. I think people say, well, don't talk bad about people, this and that. But it's like if you worked in lumber if you were a what's it called lumberjacks, lumberjack, you know you if you worked with wood and you chop trees, would you not talk about different lumber? Could you not talk about your materials? I work with people that is my material, and I talk about them. I fully feel it's my prerogative to do. So. 00:28:50 Speaker 2: Have you ever been caught sit talking about somebody? 00:28:52 Speaker 3: Well, Elise, we're always caught, but we're very open about it. I think in this type of community, I think it's like, yeah, so you know, real, who cares? I feel like I'm pretty careful about the story keeping people from I mean, although the people that I really want to talk shit on, I almost want them to know. Yeah, if you're too careful. I mean, you're a comedy writer. You know, you got to get into it to write it. You know, get into it to see where your writing goes, right? 00:29:19 Speaker 2: Right? What do you think about fashion in comedy? I feel like fashion in comedy has really become a thing, and it's but within comedy itself, explain kind of grinds my gears. Like there's like this new importance placed on fashion, Like you almost need to be a model to be in comedy. Really, I feel like that's a new thing that drives me in I think it's Instagram that drives this. 00:29:43 Speaker 3: Is this a guy or girl thing? 00:29:45 Speaker 2: Both? Everybody? 00:29:47 Speaker 3: Really? 00:29:47 Speaker 2: Yeah, you haven't noticed this. 00:29:48 Speaker 3: I don't think you have to be a model to be I mean, stand ups, I love are hideous people. 00:29:53 Speaker 2: They should be. 00:29:54 Speaker 3: Yeah, I wouldn't consider myself a model. I'm a very good standard. 00:29:58 Speaker 2: You're very stylish. 00:30:00 Speaker 3: I have stylish and I'm low key pretty. That is true, but I wouldn't say model. 00:30:03 Speaker 2: But I don't feel like you place an importance on it, like it's not part of your part. 00:30:07 Speaker 3: I do love fashion inside. 00:30:10 Speaker 2: But when you're on stage or when you're doing comedy, are you thinking I hope people notice how cool I look. 00:30:17 Speaker 3: No, I love to express myself through clothing right right, and were things that I'm comfortable with. I think for me, somebody who struggles with some level of dysphoria or gender dysphoria. For me, clothing is an easy way to present more like myself. 00:30:35 Speaker 2: Sure, totally. 00:30:36 Speaker 3: It's non permanent, it's impermanent. It's just comfortable and it just makes me feel good from as soon as I'm dressed. You know, when I'm not dressed, you know, I do feel kind. I don't have the worst case of dysphoria I've ever heard of, but it's just a way to make I think everything you do. If you can express yourself in everything that you do, then why not choose to do that? I wearing anything for anything's sake is just feels like a missed opportunity to be more you. Right, So, and I enjoy being Mormy every year. So I don't know, I think that's lovely. 00:31:14 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I think you're coming from a very healthy perspective about. 00:31:18 Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm not like you know. I like well made things. I typically like vintage. I again, I love buying high quality of things versus fast fashion. But you know many things, I'd rather have less things that I love. It's not to say I'm above, you know, picking up whatever, but if I can love how I look and feel every day, I would prefer to do that than the other. 00:31:43 Speaker 2: Right for right, where are you getting vintage clothes? I feel like it's I mean, I think I feel like I saw a headline recently that it's just become kind of impossible because of resellers, the vultures circling the goodwills, you know, this sort of thing. 00:31:57 Speaker 3: Yeah, I do. I go to some of the more curated stores. I love Wasteland. It can be expensive, but again I don't buy a lot of things. And if I buy one thing, I resell another thing. 00:32:07 Speaker 2: Oh very small. 00:32:08 Speaker 3: Yeah, if you buy high quality. I bought a jacket that I ended up just not wearing a lot. I was able to sell it right, so I didn't lose money. Money sat in there like my car very sharp. Yeah, I'm conservative about money in a way. That's like if I can utilize it and it's serving me, then it's money. Well like put to use, and I would say it's really working, it's not gone right right, And I feel that with most things. 00:32:38 Speaker 2: How many cigarettes are you buying a month? 00:32:40 Speaker 3: So this month I bought literally like two packs, which is a lot. 00:32:43 Speaker 2: How much does a pack of cigarettes cost to this one? 00:32:46 Speaker 3: Thirteen dollars? That seems crazy to me, Well, you don't smoke well exactly. But like if it seems crazy to me is that you've never had a cigarette. 00:32:56 Speaker 2: I never had one. I have no interest. 00:32:58 Speaker 3: I mean it sounds like you have a lot of interest, because it sounds like you might find yourself addicted. 00:33:05 Speaker 2: I think I might. 00:33:06 Speaker 3: You're scared of it, your own temptation or your your ability to control yourself. That's probably true, no self control. Look at your out of control. 00:33:17 Speaker 2: I have a mess stress. People are begging me to get back in line. 00:33:22 Speaker 3: That's it. 00:33:23 Speaker 2: And I'm just my life is an absolute storm of hell, and yeah, uh no, I do. I think I probably would become addicted to cigarettes. 00:33:31 Speaker 3: Yeah, so then give it back. 00:33:33 Speaker 2: I'm keeping it. I have to keep it. 00:33:36 Speaker 3: You have to keep it. Where are you going to put it? 00:33:38 Speaker 2: I'll probably put it on my shelf where all my other gifts are. 00:33:40 Speaker 3: Okay, that's by the way, depending that could be a killer gift, Sticky if somebody needs Stiggy, if somebody wants like fuck, fuck, let's spark it up. 00:33:51 Speaker 2: Do you when somebody bums a cigarette from you, or you bothered or you havy? 00:33:54 Speaker 3: I give them two three because I typically almost never have a pack and I bum you know, if I've gone out, we're standing outside and people are having a smoke, I'm like, hey, whoever of my friends won't give me a drag? You know? Just right? I love a little buzz from that. And that's it. 00:34:09 Speaker 2: Do you remember your first cigarette? 00:34:12 Speaker 3: No? Yeah, I do, kind of. Actually, well, I made a pact with a friend in high school that if she tried cigarettes, I would try it with her. And then she tried it with some boy that she liked or something like that, and it hurt me. But then I tried it not too long after Okay, alone, no, with with friends, with friends, it was not Yeah. 00:34:31 Speaker 2: I don't think really pleasant experience. 00:34:33 Speaker 3: Yeah, but then in university, I guess people like smoke ciggis when they were I still it was always social for me and it continues to be so. 00:34:41 Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of people could just do it socially, and I think I find that very fascinating. Yeah, just based on how many people are full un addicted. 00:34:49 Speaker 3: Yeah, I would say that this month, if I'm totally honest, it hasn't a thousand percent been social, but it's been I'm allowing myself to live a full, dangerous life for like one month of like I'm newly in love, I'm doing shows, we're on strike. There's an uncertainty and just just to lean into kind of a lifestyle that isn't the most you know, responsible with everything. 00:35:15 Speaker 2: Are you ever smoking behind the wheel? 00:35:17 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great time to smoke. 00:35:18 Speaker 2: I feel like you were in a poor smoking mean what could be cooler? 00:35:22 Speaker 3: Yeah, except that I spit after I smoke, which friends gonna test is disgusting. I don't love the aftertaste. 00:35:27 Speaker 2: Okay, so I'm not familiar with spitting after smokeing. 00:35:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't love an aftertaste. So that's the issue with me. So that's why I'm not like a major smoker. 00:35:35 Speaker 2: Right, what is the aftertaste? 00:35:36 Speaker 3: Like, I don't know, just nasty cigarette aftertaste. 00:35:40 Speaker 2: Do you have a brand? 00:35:41 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a very light cigarette. It's like the lightest you can get. It's a Parliament light. Yeah, the closest. 00:35:47 Speaker 2: I mean. My only interaction with the cigarette world was I was a secret shopper for a while when I was in college. I would go from gas station to gas station and try to buy cigarettes, and when they would ask for my light my ID, I would say, oh, I forgot it at home, And if they still let me buy cigarettes, I would write them up. 00:36:08 Speaker 3: And that's awful. 00:36:10 Speaker 2: They always ask me for I D because I looked like in college, I looked like I was thirteen. Yeah, so it was like, of course, I mean, but the people who hired me had never seen me in person, so they didn't realize I looked like a child. So I was the person who should not have been doing this job. Yeah, but I got to I think it was ten dollars a time, went back out into my car, wrote a little review and moved on with my life. 00:36:32 Speaker 3: Wow, and they gave me a dollar fifty. 00:36:36 Speaker 2: I would nark constantly. 00:36:38 Speaker 3: I don't we don't fucking snitch. 00:36:41 Speaker 2: This is a very pro rat podcast. 00:36:43 Speaker 3: Oh God, I have a cigarette, change your life. 00:36:48 Speaker 2: I refuse. I would order camel lights. I would ask for a packet of camel lights. 00:36:53 Speaker 3: I don't know. 00:36:53 Speaker 2: I felt like a like just slightly off way of like, oh, this person obviously knows what they want rather than just camels or but so you're a Parliament smoker. 00:37:05 Speaker 3: Well, when I smoke now it's I barely guys, calm down. 00:37:11 Speaker 2: Probably is lighting up right now to imagine. 00:37:17 Speaker 3: Was there. 00:37:17 Speaker 2: I feel like Canada probably got rid of smoking sections in restaurants before the United States. Yeah, do you remember when that happened? 00:37:24 Speaker 3: I don't. But also yes and no, because in Montreal it's very French. It's very smoky. I mean they kind of do it, but people don't care a tremendous amount. It's also really cold. They have like smoking tins and stuff kind of like you're outside but you're not outside, kind of like a thing. 00:37:39 Speaker 2: Like this, and it's a smoking tint well. 00:37:42 Speaker 3: Like something like this. Okay, like yeah, yeah. 00:37:45 Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I feel like high schools have smoked or at some point it's smoking patios. 00:37:50 Speaker 3: Oh wow, No, my high school, you could not smoke on the premise. 00:37:52 Speaker 2: No, it was That would be absurd at my high school. Yeah, but I guess have you ever heard of a smoking patio at a high school? On else? Am I making this up? Maybe it's for the teachers and the students are taking advantage. 00:38:03 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, teachers smoked. 00:38:05 Speaker 2: Yeah, teachers have gotta be smoking. 00:38:06 Speaker 3: Oh my god, give them something. Their life is not easy. 00:38:10 Speaker 2: Well, I have my cigarette here. I mean maybe somebody else. Do cigarettes expire? 00:38:15 Speaker 3: I don't know. 00:38:16 Speaker 2: It's an interesting question that nobody has the answer to. I have to imagine they do at some point. 00:38:20 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's. 00:38:23 Speaker 2: The plant herby thing inside of that's got to go lanted or something. 00:38:29 Speaker 3: Is your watchworking? 00:38:30 Speaker 2: Oh it is? Yeah? 00:38:32 Speaker 3: Why I just want to see if you're wearing it for fashion. 00:38:35 Speaker 2: I'm wearing it for both. 00:38:36 Speaker 3: Yeah, so see you care about fashion. Look at you. You're not just putting on anything willy nilly. 00:38:40 Speaker 2: Yeah. I like to try to look nice. 00:38:42 Speaker 3: So then why are you mad that other people do so? 00:38:44 Speaker 2: I just I'm not mad at other people. I'm mad that it's within comedy, and I'm not even mad, I'm annoyed. Yeah, I'm annoyed that like it's now taking precedents over being funny. 00:38:53 Speaker 3: You think so, I think so? 00:38:55 Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. 00:38:55 Speaker 3: Example, I'm not naming names. No, well, I don't know. I think both can be true. 00:39:02 Speaker 2: I think, yeah, of course I love when somebody is well dressed. But within comedy, I wanted to be funny first. 00:39:10 Speaker 3: A thousand percent. But there's lots of things that ruin that, like what popularity, like social media, like drama, you know, like coolness, or you know, something that isn't related to being funny, right, like advocacy people who told more of a political line and more have a political agenda. It's not necessarily funny, but it's like you know, you're clapping. Well, they said it. Agree. There's a lot that comes in between being funny. 00:39:39 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I guess thing. I mean, I don't know. In comedy, I just want it to be funny. 00:39:45 Speaker 3: Great, No, no, but you know what, you're a comedy writer, doesn't do stand up? What do you think of a stand up? Who does comedy writing? 00:39:55 Speaker 2: Love it if they're happy doing it? Yeah, I know a lot of stand ups aren't happy writing because they're not the same skill. 00:40:02 Speaker 3: But there's a lot of good transferable skill. 00:40:04 Speaker 2: There, certainly, certainly, but neither is interchangeable. You know, you can. I've seen stand ups in comedy rooms who just it's not what they do, and then they're unhappy. Yeah, and then they're making everyone else unhappy. 00:40:21 Speaker 3: I do both, and I appreciate both. I think both help the other thing. 00:40:24 Speaker 2: They're both wonderful. Yeah, both lovely. 00:40:27 Speaker 3: When are you starting stand up? 00:40:29 Speaker 2: Refuse? I refuse to do stand up. It's a hard thing. 00:40:33 Speaker 3: To give me your premise. 00:40:35 Speaker 2: Absolutely, leave me be. I mean, the thing that does drive me crazy is when someone thinks they can just jump into standards. 00:40:42 Speaker 3: It's crazy. 00:40:43 Speaker 2: It's like, you know, that's going to be a decade, something's going to happen next week. 00:40:49 Speaker 3: No, I know it's crazy, but a. 00:40:50 Speaker 2: Lot of people think it's as simple. 00:40:52 Speaker 3: I take everything seriously. You know, I'm starting to get acting opportunities people or you know, booking for this or that, you know, and acting in the way that Jerry Seinfeld acts. You know, you're like me, which is a new skill in itself to act like me in front of cameras and not look at the camera because stand up, when there's a camera, I look right into the barrel of the camera. With acting, pretend it's not there. So it's a totally different thing. But I take it extremely seriously, even getting these small parts or whatever. I take acting classes, I run the auditions. I do really really because if somebody is giving me a shot and somebody is putting me forward on this, I respect acting so much too. When I'm behind the scenes and we're we're casting on things that I've worked on. I love when we get good tapes and I love when we get great actings. So I might not know everything about it, but I know good from bad, and I appreciate it as its own skill as well. It's difficult, so it's interesting when people with stand up, you know, like it's its own you know thing too. So I take every art extremely seriously. It's the reason I don't write off something like fashion. I think it's artistry. It can be. I think there's something really great about art being every day where or something, or just you take it for granted because it's so innocuous, right, It really is a creative pursuit and endeavor. 00:42:13 Speaker 2: Well, and just to be clear, I'm not writing off fashion. 00:42:16 Speaker 3: I'm just saying, but you know what I mean, there's nothing. There's nothing that I don't you know what I mean that I couldn't appreciate as it's craft or its skin right of course something. 00:42:27 Speaker 2: Yeah, no disagreement there, Yeah, absolutely no disagreement there. I think we should play a game. 00:42:32 Speaker 3: Let's do it. 00:42:33 Speaker 2: We're gonna play a game called Gift or a Curse. I'm gonna well, I need a number between one and ten from you for Okay, I have to do some light calculating to get our game pieces right now. You can promote something, you can recommend something. 00:42:46 Speaker 3: Okay, here's the thing, here's the tea. Guys. Rachel Coley and I have a podcast coming out. It's either called they versus Them, do not add us, we don't care, or called something like straight, mad and poor. We don't know yet. Okay. The podcast will hopefully will be released next month. We will be in New York at the Bellhouse on June twenty seventh for a live podcast record. We expect to sell out to not DM me after you miss tickets, get them now. It's all over our socials. 00:43:20 Speaker 2: What is this podcast. 00:43:21 Speaker 3: It's a podcast. 00:43:23 Speaker 2: Is it going to be a regular thing? 00:43:24 Speaker 3: Yeah? And it's starting next month. Yeah, what is the plan with this podcast? We've been recording and recording. 00:43:32 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean it just right now, it felt like you've just decided if we're going to do a podcast. 00:43:37 Speaker 3: Well, that's It's that's also a little bit true as well. 00:43:41 Speaker 2: Are you having a good time doing it? 00:43:42 Speaker 3: We're having a great time doing it recording. I typically am one of the best guests to have on any podcasts. 00:43:47 Speaker 2: Really are such a good. 00:43:49 Speaker 3: And I'm not saying this because you know, I don't want to sound egotistical. I'm just I'm reporting the facts. This just is the case. When I'm on a podcast the episode typically people really appreciate it, and so I'm always approach about doing my own podcasts and I've enjoyed really being a guest. So this kind of takes the idea of I'm the guest kind of every. 00:44:09 Speaker 2: Week, right, right, so it's just the two of you every week. Yes, what a dream dream now having to book a guest exactly. I mean, on Elise Patrick, everyone that works on the show can attest to what a nightmare booking a guest can be Yeah, well. 00:44:23 Speaker 3: Patrick had a pretty easy time with me. 00:44:25 Speaker 2: Well it's because you're It's because that's why people love you as a guest. Yeah, you're You're just good for it. 00:44:31 Speaker 3: Yeah. Who's the most famous guest you had? 00:44:36 Speaker 2: Probably Emma Thompson. Oh wow, I would probably say Emma Thompson. Jimmy Kimmel was on. But Emma Thompson to me is kind of like a did they come here that Emma was on? Zoom? They were both they were pandemic. 00:44:47 Speaker 3: Y Okay, how much money do you make an episode? 00:44:51 Speaker 2: I make money if I'm not talking about that, Okay. 00:44:54 Speaker 3: I don't know why I talk about everything. I do think that you know, I also conditioned in a world where like, you don't talk about money or politics because I think the people rich people made it so that you would like not talk about these things because it would be so embarrassing if they did. But I'm not embarrassed by any of those things. 00:45:11 Speaker 2: I mean, I agree with that sort of thing, but it's just, uh. 00:45:14 Speaker 3: I get it. No, you're totally right. Don't let me. Don't let me. Course, you don't let me peer pressure you. You be you and I'll be me. 00:45:21 Speaker 2: It's a nice little job that I do in addition to the rest of the all the other shot that I have to do. Uh, I'm looking well, by the way, I'm just looking forward to your podcast. 00:45:30 Speaker 3: I can't wait versus them. Okaylie Hoffman and Rachel Kelly. What was the maybe you know, straight and poor? Okay, something like that. 00:45:40 Speaker 2: Okay, I really like this. Do you have a network or anything? Are you just doing yourself? 00:45:44 Speaker 3: We're independent and we will sell it for a lot of money. 00:45:47 Speaker 2: There you go. 00:45:47 Speaker 3: That's what you need to be successful. 00:45:49 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what you need to do. Okay. This is how we play Gift or Curse. I have three things you're going to tell me, Okay, if they're a gift or a curse and why, then I'll tell you if you're correct, because there are right answers. 00:46:00 Speaker 3: Okay, fine. 00:46:02 Speaker 2: Number one this is from a listener named Kristen, and it's gift or a curse? Black slash any other color wedding rings, so I guess other than silver or gold. 00:46:14 Speaker 3: I don't just disgusting. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, bad what. 00:46:22 Speaker 2: You think of like a black wedding ring is disgusting? 00:46:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, I do. Why, I just don't like it? What do you like everything? I like the metal. I would love a gold or yeah, probably just yellow gold. I like classic, as classic as you can get. 00:46:37 Speaker 2: Are you wearing any rings right now? 00:46:38 Speaker 3: No? Okay, so curse you're saying, no, I just don't like it. Well you have to answer, Well, I don't know what a curse is, or a blessing gift or a curse. 00:46:46 Speaker 2: You have to answer for me. 00:46:47 Speaker 3: Horrendous, worse than a curse. 00:46:53 Speaker 2: Robbie wrong and I may have talked about this on this podcast before. I'm assuming this black wedding ring this person's talking about it is a non metal wedding ring. 00:47:02 Speaker 3: Like you're wearing some type of rubber ring. Yes, it counts your steps or something. 00:47:06 Speaker 2: It doesn't count steps or anything. It's just a sleep. My boyfriend I both wear rings, not we're not married or anything. But he wears a metal ring. I wear this. 00:47:13 Speaker 3: It's terrible. 00:47:13 Speaker 2: No, this is the problem with metal rings. I went to high school with someone who was wearing a metal ring, maybe when he was a kid and it got caught on something, ripped his finger off. 00:47:26 Speaker 3: I know somebody who wore shoes once something tripped. 00:47:29 Speaker 2: Who cares Robbie, I was wearing a metal ring. At one point I was doing the dishes that got caught on a fork. He said, looks never again, terrible. It does not look it. 00:47:37 Speaker 3: Looks like it's counting your steps. I'm never fooled. That's it. That's what it looks like. I'm telling you. Nobody will tell you the truth. That looks like you're counting your steps or you're tracking your sleep. Something's very very wrong. 00:47:47 Speaker 2: There's nothing wrong with either of those things. 00:47:49 Speaker 3: By something very very wrong. Don't talk to me when your finger has been ripped. Clang up, God forbid, go ahead, falling off a chair. You're sitting on a chair. I don't even understand this logic. Fingers you have many to lose. That's actually a pretty good thing. One head that would suck. But ten fingers losing one, you still have nine. 00:48:15 Speaker 2: This is a warning to everyone. 00:48:16 Speaker 3: What's the next one? Game is going? 00:48:18 Speaker 2: You're mad you've lost? 00:48:20 Speaker 3: No, because I'm going to tell I'm in never see you again. And there's something I can impart on you is that the ring is awful. And I just I know it's hard to hear and things like that, but you know what it's lying to you is worse. 00:48:33 Speaker 2: In my opinion, I appreciate your honor. 00:48:35 Speaker 3: Thank you. 00:48:36 Speaker 2: That's how I love Number two. This is from someone named Andy Gift. He a curse someone waving you through at a four way stop despite them getting their first. 00:48:46 Speaker 3: I like that, thank you. 00:48:48 Speaker 2: Why let me go. 00:48:52 Speaker 3: Nice? Let me go first? 00:48:54 Speaker 2: Sure, Robbie, there's no way you can robby when you're waving and I'm doing There are so many four way stops around this neighborhood. This is this to me, is when it's a curse. Let's be honest. It's when it nice becomes cross, when you cross the line from nice to being inconveniencing people. 00:49:15 Speaker 3: If you're going okay, I don't find that confusing. 00:49:18 Speaker 2: There's a there's a there are clear rules of a four waste. 00:49:20 Speaker 3: But you're con you don't understand what's going on. I understand what's going on. I'm not confused at all. 00:49:26 Speaker 2: I pull up ready to play by the. 00:49:28 Speaker 3: Sure and it changed. 00:49:31 Speaker 2: They shouldn't be changed. 00:49:33 Speaker 3: You're too much of a rules guy. I don't understand how you how you run a life. 00:49:37 Speaker 2: I've made four way stop for a reason. 00:49:41 Speaker 3: It's made up. It's not it's not science. 00:49:43 Speaker 2: It's made up as a good system. 00:49:45 Speaker 3: And somebody decided to give you a win that day, and you fucking take it. I can get they're doing a constantly job. I barely get. 00:49:53 Speaker 2: It for me. I'll probably four times a week. 00:49:57 Speaker 3: Well, and you don't deserve it. Do you see who's getting gifts? Sick of this demanding gifts of the podcast and getting gifts. It's ridiculous. People forget the gay men are still men and it's amazing how they go through the world. He's mad that people are giving him everything. I'll take what I can get. People do forget this. He's like, four times a week people are being kind to me. 00:50:21 Speaker 2: I'm like, what they're not being kind though? 00:50:24 Speaker 3: I mean people walking to me, people like everything. 00:50:27 Speaker 2: Never mind looking to make constantly. 00:50:28 Speaker 3: Okay, go on, what's the next one. 00:50:31 Speaker 2: You've got zero so far? 00:50:33 Speaker 3: Winning everybody in the commons? Who do you agree with? Okay? People are in the comments. 00:50:41 Speaker 2: People I think are actually going They're frequently not on my side. 00:50:45 Speaker 3: I think, so then it's time to it's time to self evaluate. If everybody is not on your side. 00:50:52 Speaker 2: This time, people are going to be on my side in a huge way. The wave through. No thank you, I don't want that. 00:50:57 Speaker 3: It's the same. No thank you. 00:51:00 Speaker 2: They're stuck. Then we're also And you did that. I didn't blame them. 00:51:05 Speaker 3: They were being nice to you. You said no, You huffed and puffed because you want it your way with these rules, because you're a man. 00:51:13 Speaker 2: My way. 00:51:13 Speaker 3: It's it's the man's way. Who made a four way stop? You think it was women who invented stops? 00:51:18 Speaker 2: Who knows? 00:51:19 Speaker 3: I know one hundred years ago, I'll tell you it was. It was you and all your counterparts. We had nothing to do with it. We would have had a wave only system. Probably women designed the world the way. 00:51:29 Speaker 2: Get you got, got you have a good day. 00:51:31 Speaker 3: It would have been totally different. You guys made all these rules, and now you're like, I fold the rules. Move on. 00:51:38 Speaker 2: If it was a four way, if it was a wave only system, no one would ever move through the intersection. 00:51:43 Speaker 3: Let's try it. 00:51:44 Speaker 2: There would be at every intersection, there would be traffic for miles. 00:51:48 Speaker 3: Let's see a new system. Let's see because our system something's got to give. Let's try a new thing. We've done this one long enough. 00:51:54 Speaker 2: Okay, you're you're furious, Yeah, okay, this is the final one. I hope we come together on this one. But who knows. 00:52:01 Speaker 3: Yeah, who knows so far. 00:52:03 Speaker 2: Listener Jess has suggested gift or a curse. Public restroom stalls where the walls and door go from floor to ceiling, like you're in a tiny private room. 00:52:14 Speaker 3: Gift beyond measure. Why just privacy. I don't want somebody's eye through the cracks. This off putting. It's io p anxiety. I like to be relaxed, and that's it. And then some of you have your period. You wouldn't understand, but there's a lot going on. Just close the fucking door. Just fucking close the door. Just think, I do my shit and get out of here. My god, this is not for public display. That's it, of course. 00:52:46 Speaker 2: I mean that's how they all should be. I don't understand what. 00:52:50 Speaker 3: There's absolutely no why men bathrooms where they're all pissing around each other, on each other because they're too afraid to be gay like you. And so this is how they get a little gay in every day is by like being around dick. We didn't do that. We had stalls. Immediately, you've got to they should just go to the floor. Absolutely, there's no, I mean, is it a money saving measure, it's probably Yeah, it's probably cleaning money. It's easy to put up and down, is there. 00:53:20 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know. But when I'm in one of those ones that goes floor to sea, so it's a delight height of luxury. 00:53:27 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really amazing. 00:53:28 Speaker 2: It's an incredible feeling. And I just feel like they should all be like that. They should be permetically sealed as far as I'm concerned. Okay, well, I'm glad. 00:53:36 Speaker 3: Look and they have a positive I'm known as a pretty positive type of person, so this is perfect. This is perfect. My hands are three. 00:53:45 Speaker 2: Yeah, look, at least you stood by your opinions. 00:53:49 Speaker 3: That's all that, which are the right opinions. 00:53:52 Speaker 2: But they're the wrong answers. 00:53:53 Speaker 3: Well, that's a man telling a woman that she's got the wrong answers of this podcast. What it is. Everybody into an in cell, whether you are or not, there's no winning. Ask Cotner, he's got a lot of. 00:54:06 Speaker 2: Work, and ask Patrick and Annolly's bring me a woman that I can explain things to. 00:54:11 Speaker 3: That's all I know. And did I not deliver on that? 00:54:17 Speaker 2: Okay? This is the final segment of the podcast. It's called I said no emails, people write into I said no gifts at gmail dot com. Problems galore, questions galore. I try to answer the questions. The guest usually helps me. 00:54:32 Speaker 3: Great, let's do it. 00:54:33 Speaker 2: Okay, this is a short one. We might do too. If you don't mind, we'll see what fine, that's fine. This is deer Bridger and Glenn at then in parentheses. Since I don't know who your guest is, I will just assume it's Glenn Close. That's a nice assumption. 00:54:45 Speaker 3: Okay. 00:54:45 Speaker 2: I would love for. 00:54:46 Speaker 3: Most people try and be funny, but go on. 00:54:48 Speaker 2: I would love for Glen. 00:54:50 Speaker 3: Okay, just get to the question. People who are reaching out, you don't have to. What's like when somebody in the audience I talked to I asked, so, yes, no question, They go, well, kind of tend shut up. You don't have to be funny. That's why I'm here. There's no work for you to do. So this person, okay, the opening with what they consider a joke, move on. 00:55:09 Speaker 2: I think that's a decent is the question. Don't let Robbie get you down. 00:55:16 Speaker 3: Before I answer. Everybody follow me on Instagram at Robbie Hoffman, A couple of nudes I try and throw up there Robbie Hoffman on Instagram. 00:55:23 Speaker 2: Get to the question it is upon getting a gift, when is it appropriate to send a handwritten thank you note versus an email thank you note or a text thank you note? Does it depend on the size of the gift, your relationship to the person giving it. There are many times I would love to send a handwritten note, but the thought of writing it out, making sure it's legible, putting it in an envelope, and trudging to the post office is completely daunting. Thanks, and that's from Gary. 00:55:48 Speaker 3: You know what it is. This is a thing of the past. I think the only time you get a handwritten note notw is that for a wedding gift right right text? If I'm not getting gifts left right and centers. So if I get a gift from a friend, I give a text, I talk to them. I love to take people for dinner if it's a big you do, if somebody yeah, you know, if somebody does something for me or something like that, I like to pay back with a dinner. I love to treat people to dinner. But I don't know a thank you note. I really don't do my manager sends me, you know, like, no, it's not even a thank you note like a Christmas gift, So that's not But yeah, I think, stop overworrying about this and get a problem. You're fine, Yeah, I call them and whatever. This is a non issue. 00:56:32 Speaker 2: It's truly only weddings. Only weddings, and otherwise I think if you're sending somebody a thank you note for another type of gift, they're not really your friend. Giving gifts to people you can text that will text to thank you. 00:56:45 Speaker 3: Yeah, of course text what year is this? I mean, it's obscene. 00:56:49 Speaker 2: Where are you taking people out to dinner wherever? Interesting? Do you ask where they want to go? Or do you say I'm taking you to Patty. 00:56:56 Speaker 3: Did a video message for a friend of mine for a birthday. Okay, very nice, a big fan and it was really really nice of her. And I'm sure she gets these requests all the time, and so let me take you for dinner for that. Also nice to hang out with her. But also and I've always wanted to go to I think we've gone to Ruth's Chris before, so I took her again. 00:57:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, so you really do live kind of like a luxurious life. I tried to never been to Ruth's. 00:57:20 Speaker 3: Chris go really nice. 00:57:21 Speaker 2: I don't think i've ever I can't remember the last time was at a steakhouse. 00:57:24 Speaker 3: Really fun. 00:57:25 Speaker 2: I love doing it. 00:57:26 Speaker 3: Do it. 00:57:27 Speaker 2: It always tastes good. Do it and it makes you feel like old fashioned. 00:57:31 Speaker 3: Like I like that. I'm very old at heart, So I like that. 00:57:35 Speaker 2: Like what age would you say? 00:57:37 Speaker 3: Seventy three? 00:57:38 Speaker 2: Seventy three, that's not a bad that's like that seems like an ideal age to be. 00:57:42 Speaker 3: I probably get there, like you know, like some of my trans friends when they fully transition, they look in the mirror and they see who they are. I do think I'll probably hit seventy three, look in the mirror and be like there I am. Oh that sounds love, you know something like that. 00:57:54 Speaker 2: Seventy three is when you really are exactly what you've meant to be exactly. I feel like, hopefully I live to seventy three. I'm hoping to live past one hundred, but we'll see. 00:58:04 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd love to do one twenty. 00:58:06 Speaker 2: I'm thinking one fifteen. 00:58:07 Speaker 3: Okay, there we go see there meet you say there. 00:58:10 Speaker 2: I really want to fist bump. I really want to live to one hundred and fifteen and then have well, I won't have children or grandchildren, but to have like my nieces or my grand nieces kill me. 00:58:20 Speaker 3: No, I want to be in a really gorgeous home with you know, playing bridge and doing all the fun things sleeping, eating, well well. 00:58:28 Speaker 2: Yeah, of course up until the point of death. 00:58:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, I have no clue. Cluss Jean class limit or God. For a bit, I get religious about this. Move on, what's the next question? So? 00:58:38 Speaker 2: Thank you? Note Gary to do the text and also, but like the thing Gary is, I feel like there's a huge excuse here where he's saying trudging to the post office not necessary? Don't you have a mailbox? 00:58:49 Speaker 3: I don't know. 00:58:50 Speaker 2: Eliminate that one step if you want to do the thank you No, yeah, I forget it. 00:58:53 Speaker 3: The thing is, I don't even know where this question is coming from. Back to the future. Okay, what's the next one? 00:58:59 Speaker 2: Okay, this is probably gonna make you madicain. This is deer bridger and disrespectful but charming guest. I think that's nice. That actually works for you. 00:59:08 Speaker 3: Wait, what is that? 00:59:10 Speaker 2: Disrespectful but charming guest? 00:59:12 Speaker 3: Is this live? Can they hear us now? Yes, Oh, we are live. 00:59:17 Speaker 2: We're fully live. Now we're not. 00:59:18 Speaker 3: Okay, so how do they know? 00:59:20 Speaker 2: It's an assumption? 00:59:21 Speaker 3: Okay, fine, the rocurate, the roccurate. That's fine with me. 00:59:26 Speaker 2: Okay, this says I will be getting back surgery imminently. My best friend and her husband have generously offered to allow me to recover in their one level, fully handicap accessible home that is very close to my parents' home. My parents are both restaurant chefs, and we couldn't stop them from regularly bringing delicious food over if we tried. Okay, so the parents are going to be bringing food. Okay, what happens other than food based compensation? What's an appropriate gift for my friend and her husband for opening their home to me in what is likely going to be some of my least flattering and most unenjoyable days my life. It feels like one million dollars in a puppy would be appropriate, but simply not in my budget. They are active, environmentally conscious, love games and each other to a sickening degree, much love and desperation. Sam. Sam's getting back surgery at twenty nine. Back surgery, My god, sounds terrible. Nightmare. The friends are forget. 01:00:20 Speaker 3: Never get somebody a puppy. 01:00:22 Speaker 2: Do not get a pet? Are you kidding somebody pet? Responsible? 01:00:26 Speaker 1: Yeah? 01:00:27 Speaker 3: I think you can get them. Like if they're a couple and they like to do things, you can get them like a spa package or something like that, something that takes care of them. I would I would, I would they took it or you. I would give something, you know, more of an experience or something, and certainly have the place cleaned. 01:00:44 Speaker 2: Oh that's very nice, Yes. 01:00:46 Speaker 3: Very cleaning liddy. Come absolutely, Although I feel like you've sent a cleaning lady in. 01:00:51 Speaker 2: It almost feels like a comment. Are they going to? Is the couple to be like, oh she thought our house is filthy? 01:00:56 Speaker 3: No, that's what you would say, because you wave people down who don't give, like you have a weird thing where you take everything personally and badly. 01:01:07 Speaker 2: I don't like people. 01:01:08 Speaker 3: I deny waves, ye waves, you don't love pay. So it's like if somebody cleaned your house, you'd be like, what are you saying? Your insecurities would totally fucking bleed out. I don't know, I mean clean, Like, hey, I shot in your house for three weeks. I cleaned the joint we'd like, thanks so much, appreciate you. 01:01:26 Speaker 2: It is a nice stunt. 01:01:27 Speaker 3: It'd be done to have. 01:01:29 Speaker 2: Somebody clean your house. That's another that's like a steakhouse level luxury to me, just like. 01:01:34 Speaker 3: Oh, you've got a service to clean your house. They come, they're awesome, right right. I mean that doesn't make me think for this person. And somebody may have told me this before, I'm sure on this podcast, but like if you stay at somebody's home, you look around and say, what could they use? 01:01:46 Speaker 2: What could they need? You're kind of a little spy, and then you give them like oh, new towels or whatever, just a new But I don't. 01:01:53 Speaker 3: Like to guess a thing. I don't love consumerism. I typically don't buy things through people. Maybe I can or something that is, you know, perishable, something they can use. It's almost an experience thing. Yeah, I would stick to experience a dinner cleaning service. I like services, movie tickets, something like. 01:02:12 Speaker 2: That SPA package. 01:02:14 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:02:14 Speaker 2: Do you go to the spa very often? 01:02:16 Speaker 3: No? But there's a place in Toronto that I love and when i'm there, I go there. 01:02:21 Speaker 2: What sort of spa experience are you? 01:02:23 Speaker 3: Just like the waters, just like the pool, like things like that. 01:02:26 Speaker 2: Okay, like the hot Yeah. 01:02:28 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:02:28 Speaker 2: Have you ever been to we Spa? 01:02:30 Speaker 3: I did once. It was traumatizing. How so it just was it was awful. I had a scrub. It was a gift and I couldn't feel my body and it was not relaxing at all. I also didn't like the vibe of it. And it was awful. 01:02:46 Speaker 2: I love we Spaw. It's so affordable and pleasant. 01:02:50 Speaker 3: Not to me. And you know what the big reason is all the men. 01:02:53 Speaker 2: There and you had the body scrub. That's rough. 01:02:57 Speaker 3: It was very rough. 01:02:58 Speaker 2: Somebody gave this to you as a gift. Yeah, did you tell them later? 01:03:01 Speaker 3: Oh? 01:03:01 Speaker 2: I hated it. 01:03:02 Speaker 3: They saw me I was not doing well. I was not doing well. 01:03:06 Speaker 2: Did they know you were going to hate it? 01:03:09 Speaker 3: Probably? I don't know. I don't know what people don't know what. 01:03:13 Speaker 2: I might like interesting. I feel like you have pretty clear interests. 01:03:18 Speaker 3: Thank you. 01:03:19 Speaker 2: You love McDonald's, you love cars. I mean, I could like to start. I could go in and brainstorm some gift ideas for you right now. 01:03:26 Speaker 3: I can't wait. 01:03:26 Speaker 2: You're surrounded by bad people. 01:03:28 Speaker 3: I can't wait. The best gift for me is cash guyssh Robbie dash Hoffman dash three on VENMO. I hope Bridger here pays me whatever he's making from this podcast. But we'll see. We'll see if he steals from his guests or not. No, it has not become commonplace to pay for podcasts yet, but it will be soon. 01:03:48 Speaker 2: The podcast industry is still very new. It's very new years old. 01:03:53 Speaker 3: Maybe I'll start the union for us. 01:03:55 Speaker 2: Please, it's coming. Podcast union will be here eventually. Then we'll be striking for that. Just I'll be out of work constantly. I feel like we answered these questions. I can't we did. I've got a very bad short term memory. But we answered too, which. 01:04:12 Speaker 3: Is we did really good. 01:04:13 Speaker 2: I haven't done this in years. 01:04:15 Speaker 3: Yeah. 01:04:15 Speaker 2: Usually it's one and we get out. 01:04:17 Speaker 3: But see, I'm a terrific guess. So that's that's what it is. Two guys. I'm thrilled that you've got a cigarette. I'm excited for you. Smoke it, live your life, break a rule. I can't how you feel, see how you feel? 01:04:32 Speaker 2: How would you feel if I became addicted to cigarettes? 01:04:34 Speaker 3: Fine, I don't care. 01:04:37 Speaker 2: What do you think about the What do you think about the tobacco industry? Do you think it's an evil industry. 01:04:40 Speaker 3: I don't think about it at all. 01:04:43 Speaker 2: It's a bad industry. 01:04:45 Speaker 3: Sure, name a good industry exactly. Yeah, can we go home? What's going on here? I'm trying to think of an industry and I can't think of a sign. You can't, How dare you? The pharmaceutical industry, costic people. 01:05:06 Speaker 2: Those are all good people, doing good things all the time. Exactly, Robbie. I've had a wonderful time with you. 01:05:11 Speaker 3: The best time. Truly. This is me having a good time. I am the nicer I am, like, do you understand I have the opposite Ellen problem. Ellen purports to be kind, dancings to terror to work with, right, I'm aggressive rough around the edges, but I'm actually a delight to fucking work on. 01:05:26 Speaker 2: Really, I knew you were going to that story. I mean Ellen, I still meet people who don't know about Ellen. 01:05:32 Speaker 3: No I know, and they don't have to. We really vilified her, what we did to her, and then twenty years later we are it's like, you literally shut the bitch down. You literally she has no trust nothing. You bring her down to nothing. She can only trust money. And then we go, oh do you only trust money? Yeah? I love that we do that. 01:05:54 Speaker 2: Oh God, really well, thank you so much for being. 01:05:57 Speaker 3: Here, thank you for having me, thank you Analis, thank you Cottner following everything. 01:06:02 Speaker 2: Thanks guys listener. The podcast is over. Robbie begged for to be released, and we're gonna let her go. We're gonna let you go, My people go. That's the end of the podcast. I love you, goodbye. I said, No Gifts is an exactly right production. It's produced by our dear friend Annalise Neilson, and it's beautifully mixed by Leona Squilatchi. And we couldn't do it without our guest booker, Patrick Kottner. The theme song, of course, could only come from miracle worker Amy Mann. You must follow the show on Instagram. At I said no Gifts, I don't want to hear any excuses. That's where you get to see pictures of all these gorgeous gifts I'm getting. And don't you want to see pictures of the gifts? 01:06:53 Speaker 3: Man? 01:06:54 Speaker 1: Did you hear? Funamin myself perfectly clear. But you're a guest to my home. You gotta come to me empty And I said, no, guest, You're own presences presents enough. I already had too much stuff, So how do you dare to surbey me