WEBVTT - Men Are Turned OFF By This...WTF?! 0:00:03.220 --> 0:00:19.660 Hey, everybody. 0:00:19.700 --> 0:00:22.320 It's I Do Part 2. Your celebrity mentor, Bob Guinea, here. 0:00:22.410 --> 0:00:24.590 And I am joined by my good friend, Mr. 0:00:24.670 --> 0:00:27.970 Right, for another episode where we're just going. 0:00:27.870 --> 0:00:30.860 To tell it like it is. Apparently, people like that. Now, 0:00:30.870 --> 0:00:34.430 our producer has a recent TikTok. that she saw that 0:00:34.450 --> 0:00:35.930 she liked to get her feedback on. We have not 0:00:35.970 --> 0:00:38.339 heard this yet, but how are you doing Mr. Wright 0:00:38.360 --> 0:00:40.040 before we get started? Uh, how's everything going? 0:00:40.600 --> 0:00:41.100 Going very good. 0:00:41.120 --> 0:00:43.240 And again, I had to disclose the fact that I 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:47.460 don't actually have Tik TOK, which apparently is not very cool, but, uh, 0:00:48.060 --> 0:00:51.909 I don't have the Tik TOK. So that's why I 0:00:51.930 --> 0:00:54.790 couldn't be prepared ahead of time for this particular segment. 0:00:54.810 --> 0:00:57.510 So I apologize for my lack of preparedness. 0:00:58.150 --> 0:00:59.630 Well, I am right there with you, Mr. 0:00:59.670 --> 0:00:59.890 Wright. 0:00:59.970 --> 0:01:03.050 I think it must be an, uh, an age band thing. 0:01:03.070 --> 0:01:06.590 Cause I too do not have the tick tock, but, um, 0:01:07.330 --> 0:01:09.020 I didn't actually listen to anything ahead of time. 0:01:09.060 --> 0:01:09.820 I know you didn't either. 0:01:09.860 --> 0:01:11.800 We wanted to kind of be surprised with this thing and, 0:01:12.360 --> 0:01:14.959 and give our natural guttural reaction to it. 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:16.940 So let's roll tape producer. 0:01:17.300 --> 0:01:17.480 Okay. 0:01:17.500 --> 0:01:18.820 This is going to be a dating tip for the 0:01:18.880 --> 0:01:22.070 ladies and it is not going to make sense. So 0:01:22.209 --> 0:01:25.190 just please hear me out for a second. Some of 0:01:25.290 --> 0:01:28.069 the pictures that you have on your dating app of 0:01:28.110 --> 0:01:32.940 your successes, not the inappropriate ones, about your accomplishments that 0:01:33.020 --> 0:01:35.920 show you how driven you are and how dedicated you 0:01:36.140 --> 0:01:41.770 are and everything that you've accomplished for your career and everything. 0:01:42.870 --> 0:01:44.130 We don't like those pictures. 0:01:44.930 --> 0:01:46.750 They get us butt. 0:01:46.510 --> 0:01:47.410 Hurt, more or less. 0:01:48.190 --> 0:01:53.450 It comes with a level of preconceived ideas on our part, 0:01:53.630 --> 0:01:57.750 not on yours, on our part, that certain expectations are 0:01:57.830 --> 0:02:00.390 with that type of person. And what happens is, is 0:02:00.430 --> 0:02:02.570 that we don't even give you a chance. You may 0:02:02.610 --> 0:02:04.960 not be that person in any way, shape or form, 0:02:05.260 --> 0:02:07.620 but we're not giving you a chance because of our 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:11.900 own preconceived ideas of those accomplishments of what type of 0:02:12.040 --> 0:02:16.370 person that is. So take them down. I'm just kind 0:02:16.430 --> 0:02:19.090 of passing the message on. You can do what you 0:02:19.130 --> 0:02:22.590 want with it. Just kind of an inside view from 0:02:22.630 --> 0:02:24.330 a guy's point of view. 0:02:24.350 --> 0:02:27.950 All right. So I get irritated sometimes when people speak 0:02:28.030 --> 0:02:28.310 for me. 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:32.090 Like, for example, we don't like that. Well, who the 0:02:32.120 --> 0:02:33.730 hell is he talking about? Who's we? 0:02:33.790 --> 0:02:36.570 Does he have like a mouse in his pocket? Who's 0:02:36.850 --> 0:02:37.770 on board with this we thing? 0:02:38.169 --> 0:02:40.370 So I'm not actually totally sure that I even know 0:02:40.389 --> 0:02:41.109 what he's talking about. 0:02:41.490 --> 0:02:45.410 So he's saying that we, I'm assuming he means all men, 0:02:45.940 --> 0:02:48.160 that we don't want to see a picture of a 0:02:48.200 --> 0:02:52.060 woman that we may prospectively want to date doing something 0:02:52.200 --> 0:02:53.360 outside of just looking hot. 0:02:53.600 --> 0:02:55.220 So it sounds like he's saying that we're going to 0:02:55.240 --> 0:02:58.810 get intimidated as men to if we see a woman 0:02:58.820 --> 0:03:03.770 that's doing something extraordinary and is basically doing something greater 0:03:03.830 --> 0:03:05.490 than what we think that we could accomplish. 0:03:06.050 --> 0:03:06.290 Yes. 0:03:07.270 --> 0:03:09.669 I think he sounds to me like a, I think 0:03:09.690 --> 0:03:12.130 that's pretty, first of all, like I said, I don't 0:03:12.150 --> 0:03:14.700 like when anybody speaks for we, the pejorative we, but 0:03:14.740 --> 0:03:18.600 I also think that this dude, I think is thinking 0:03:18.639 --> 0:03:20.760 he sounds cool by saying this, but I think it 0:03:20.780 --> 0:03:22.140 actually makes him sound pretty small. 0:03:22.900 --> 0:03:23.400 I think so too. 0:03:23.419 --> 0:03:25.100 I mean, I think it, it obviously there's like a 0:03:25.120 --> 0:03:29.380 level of insecurity that, that, uh, that he thinks that 0:03:29.460 --> 0:03:34.040 we all feel that we're easily intimidated when, in fact, 0:03:34.900 --> 0:03:37.380 I think that that's actually something really cool. And I 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:41.940 think that rather than see another picture of someone's legs 0:03:41.980 --> 0:03:44.060 on the beach, I'd probably like to see the fact 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:46.660 if there was a woman that was doing something great 0:03:46.740 --> 0:03:50.060 in her field of work or getting something in the 0:03:50.080 --> 0:03:51.779 philanthropic award or something like that. 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:55.160 I mean, I think that is way cooler. So I'm probably. 0:03:56.300 --> 0:03:59.120 weirdly on the totally other end of the spectrum of 0:03:59.160 --> 0:04:02.200 this and not intimidated but rather impressed. 0:04:02.380 --> 0:04:05.390 Same i'm exactly right there with you i think i've 0:04:05.430 --> 0:04:08.630 never actually been i've never had had the chance to 0:04:08.670 --> 0:04:10.650 do a dating app and i but i would think 0:04:10.690 --> 0:04:12.280 that if i were to look at pictures of someone 0:04:12.310 --> 0:04:14.840 on a dating app that i was interested in and 0:04:15.140 --> 0:04:18.500 the more i swipe the more i feel Like, oh, 0:04:18.520 --> 0:04:20.380 my God, this person is so accomplished. 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:21.520 This is incredible. 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:23.659 I need to meet this person. Or maybe I see 0:04:23.700 --> 0:04:25.700 things that we have in common. Like, I know you've 0:04:25.740 --> 0:04:27.730 run a marathon. You swipe a thing and you see 0:04:27.770 --> 0:04:30.010 someone who's also run a marathon. That might be something 0:04:30.029 --> 0:04:33.170 where you're like, damn, okay, we have mutual interests. Or 0:04:33.190 --> 0:04:36.290 like you said, a philanthropic event or things of that 0:04:36.330 --> 0:04:39.740 nature where it's like you're learning more about that person 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:42.260 as opposed to just swiping because you think they're hot 0:04:42.300 --> 0:04:44.840 and they said something funny or witty in their profile. 0:04:45.339 --> 0:04:47.100 But if you think about like in these sites, I 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:49.359 know you haven't been on them, Bob, but like you 0:04:49.380 --> 0:04:52.799 can imagine that the majority of them are glamour shots. 0:04:52.920 --> 0:04:56.279 They are the best versions of this person in this moment. 0:04:56.500 --> 0:04:58.620 And they're not real photos. I mean, at the end 0:04:58.640 --> 0:05:01.250 of the day, I mean, they're a great photo and 0:05:01.290 --> 0:05:03.390 there's a thousand of those. But what you're always looking 0:05:03.470 --> 0:05:06.770 for is a differentiator. And you're looking for, you know, 0:05:07.130 --> 0:05:09.610 a bio that's interesting. Maybe it's funny. Maybe it has 0:05:09.650 --> 0:05:12.730 an angle. Maybe it has something that's different about it. 0:05:13.300 --> 0:05:16.640 And I think to the opposite of what this guy 0:05:16.660 --> 0:05:20.279 was talking about is that if this woman is accomplished, 0:05:20.339 --> 0:05:23.659 if she is outstanding in a specific field or like 0:05:23.940 --> 0:05:27.060 all these different categories, that's a differentiator. That's something that 0:05:27.080 --> 0:05:30.510 I think stands out way more than another bikini picture, 0:05:30.589 --> 0:05:33.969 way more than another picture out with the drinking martinis 0:05:33.990 --> 0:05:36.430 with the girls, way more than those things that we 0:05:36.450 --> 0:05:41.310 see over and over again. So I fail to even 0:05:41.350 --> 0:05:43.380 come close to seeing his point or agree. 0:05:44.880 --> 0:05:47.880 Yeah, this is, he clearly did not read the room 0:05:48.100 --> 0:05:50.760 when he sent this TikTok because to me. 0:05:51.320 --> 0:05:54.670 I feel like, um, it actually, I will say this. 0:05:54.750 --> 0:05:56.790 He says that if the, if you have these pictures 0:05:56.870 --> 0:05:58.729 on your site, that men are going to judge you, 0:05:59.290 --> 0:06:03.330 I'm actually judging him. Like in my mind, uh, I'm thinking, wow, 0:06:03.350 --> 0:06:05.530 this is a dude I have zero in common with. Like, 0:06:05.550 --> 0:06:09.289 you know, like I actually like seeing people achieve great things. 0:06:09.730 --> 0:06:13.440 And I think that, especially on an app where everybody 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:16.859 is their best version of themselves it's kind of like 0:06:16.880 --> 0:06:19.260 instagram right like everything on instagram is it's never like 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:21.320 today's a shitty day and if it is the person 0:06:21.339 --> 0:06:23.600 that posts that stuff that's totally not coming into my 0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:26.469 algorithm anyway but it's like i think that we've. 0:06:26.350 --> 0:06:28.530 Seen your algorithm bob we know that oh yes yes. 0:06:28.490 --> 0:06:29.870 That's not coming it's not coming there's a lot of 0:06:29.910 --> 0:06:32.190 other stuff in there a lot of other weirdness but 0:06:32.290 --> 0:06:35.479 um I don't think guys talk like that. 0:06:35.940 --> 0:06:38.669 I really don't. Well, here I'm speaking in generalities as well. 0:06:38.730 --> 0:06:41.390 Don't be the we, but I can say the we, 0:06:41.450 --> 0:06:43.350 meaning the two of us, we agree. 0:06:43.770 --> 0:06:44.650 We absolutely agree. 0:06:44.950 --> 0:06:47.210 I think the majority of the people we probably surround 0:06:47.230 --> 0:06:48.970 ourselves with, and I know some of your friends, and 0:06:48.990 --> 0:06:50.510 I know we have a lot of friends in common, 0:06:51.029 --> 0:06:53.170 the people we surround ourselves with, for the most part, 0:06:54.270 --> 0:06:57.070 I would guess wouldn't be impressed by that either. 0:06:58.620 --> 0:07:00.760 I actually grew up with strong women in my life. 0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:04.980 I grew up with my sister, my mother, my wife. 0:07:05.300 --> 0:07:09.820 They're all very strong, very opinionated women, very accomplished in 0:07:09.870 --> 0:07:12.890 their own ways. And I think that that's always been 0:07:12.930 --> 0:07:15.670 something that I've thought, like you said, is a differentiator, 0:07:16.050 --> 0:07:17.990 not only as someone I would want to date or 0:07:18.010 --> 0:07:20.230 marry or be with, but also someone I just want 0:07:20.250 --> 0:07:21.110 to surround myself with. 0:07:22.190 --> 0:07:24.900 I think we have to separate now from diving into 0:07:24.940 --> 0:07:29.520 this topic of accomplished women and insecure men. There are 0:07:29.780 --> 0:07:34.030 lots of guys that do get insecure around women who 0:07:34.130 --> 0:07:38.530 are more powerful, more accomplished, have more money, you know, all, 0:07:38.550 --> 0:07:39.530 you know, all of those things. 0:07:39.570 --> 0:07:41.150 I mean, that happens all of the time. 0:07:41.170 --> 0:07:44.370 And, you know, so I totally agree that there are 0:07:44.430 --> 0:07:47.070 guys that, you know, have a tough time having a 0:07:47.110 --> 0:07:49.950 female boss, right. I have a tough time, you know, 0:07:49.970 --> 0:07:53.040 having to answer to, you know, to, to a woman. 0:07:53.500 --> 0:07:55.840 And I think that's probably only within the last 25, 0:07:55.840 --> 0:07:58.400 30 years where we've seen more stay at home dads, 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:02.320 which I think was totally, unheard of, you know, you know, 0:08:02.340 --> 0:08:05.200 back in like our parents' day. Um, and so I 0:08:05.260 --> 0:08:06.940 think that, um, you know, it's a little bit of 0:08:07.020 --> 0:08:09.760 old school thinking, uh, but I think it still happens 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:11.760 for sure. I think that, uh, you know, a lot 0:08:11.780 --> 0:08:14.900 of times you will find guys that feel insecure or 0:08:15.380 --> 0:08:17.000 they don't want to be outshined by a woman. 0:08:17.340 --> 0:08:19.920 No, I definitely think there's a lot of that. I mean, 0:08:20.980 --> 0:08:22.180 still to this day, right. 0:08:22.220 --> 0:08:25.200 I mean, I, I remember when obviously now I'm going 0:08:25.380 --> 0:08:28.370 in the total, uh, you know, the, the extreme of this, 0:08:28.390 --> 0:08:30.880 but I remember as, as I, back in the bachelor 0:08:30.890 --> 0:08:32.840 days when I got to know Oprah and I remember 0:08:32.940 --> 0:08:36.140 everyone would always say, you know, Oh, I've heard she's 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:37.579 such a, you know, and I'd be like, what are 0:08:37.600 --> 0:08:38.260 you talking about? 0:08:38.740 --> 0:08:42.640 Like, she's amazing. You know, she's so nice. She's so kind. 0:08:42.660 --> 0:08:43.620 She doesn't have to be right. 0:08:44.240 --> 0:08:46.420 And, um, but I remember also thinking at one point 0:08:46.840 --> 0:08:48.760 I would always take the angle. I'd be like, well, 0:08:48.980 --> 0:08:51.240 of course people are going to say that she's a billionaire. 0:08:51.540 --> 0:08:53.120 It's the first female billionaire. How do you think she 0:08:53.160 --> 0:08:56.520 got there? By being demanding, by expecting the best in 0:08:56.570 --> 0:08:58.370 her life, by being someone who overachieved. 0:08:59.270 --> 0:09:02.110 How is that a negative? But it is interesting. A 0:09:02.150 --> 0:09:04.820 guy does it. He's a shark. He's a badass. A 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:05.840 woman does it. She must be a badass. 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:06.360 Right. 0:09:06.780 --> 0:09:08.380 So I think there's a lot of that. You're right. 0:09:08.440 --> 0:09:10.280 It's definitely still out there. Definitely still prevalent. 0:09:11.020 --> 0:09:13.660 I think that, I think that to your point, you 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:16.309 find you to a guy that's demanding a guy that's, 0:09:16.410 --> 0:09:18.890 you know, that's, you know, that's, that's asking a lot 0:09:18.910 --> 0:09:21.170 of people around them is, you know, and is tough on, 0:09:21.290 --> 0:09:23.510 you know, on, on employees are tough on family or 0:09:23.530 --> 0:09:25.790 whatever that those people around them are. If it's a 0:09:25.809 --> 0:09:27.930 guy it's expected and the guy that it's like, Oh, 0:09:27.970 --> 0:09:29.310 he's a take charge kind of guy. 0:09:29.330 --> 0:09:29.710 Yeah. 0:09:29.910 --> 0:09:30.110 Yeah. 0:09:30.450 --> 0:09:32.130 But if it's a woman, a lot of times it's like, 0:09:32.190 --> 0:09:33.750 Oh my God, what a, you know, what a B like, Oh, 0:09:33.830 --> 0:09:36.250 I can't believe. And I think that's a double standard. 0:09:36.270 --> 0:09:38.450 And I think it's, I think hopefully over, you know, 0:09:38.490 --> 0:09:41.860 that that's going away, but it's certainly this, I think it's, 0:09:42.000 --> 0:09:43.380 I think it's still prevalent, unfortunately. 0:09:44.120 --> 0:09:46.100 Well, I wonder, you know, how does a woman win 0:09:46.400 --> 0:09:50.580 on these sites? Like, honestly, like, you know, I mean, 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:53.209 I think of Instagram, right? So I look at Instagram 0:09:53.470 --> 0:09:55.550 and a woman on Instagram who. 0:09:55.450 --> 0:09:57.370 It's all about her looks. It's all about her body. 0:09:57.429 --> 0:09:59.849 It's all about the beach, you know, guys probably in 0:09:59.870 --> 0:10:02.020 their mind are like, oh, you know, she's probably easy 0:10:02.179 --> 0:10:05.580 or she's, you know, whatever. If it's all about, you know, 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:07.540 or how vapid, how shallow. I mean, it could be 0:10:07.580 --> 0:10:09.150 any of those things, right? She's only posted pictures of 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:12.109 how good she looks. Then if she posts pictures about 0:10:12.150 --> 0:10:16.599 her accomplishments, now she's considered to be too driven. I 0:10:16.880 --> 0:10:19.080 mean how does a woman win on this stuff? How 0:10:19.100 --> 0:10:23.800 do they– I mean for that matter, guys too, right? 0:10:23.820 --> 0:10:26.560 I mean I find myself– I like to think I'm 0:10:26.580 --> 0:10:29.380 an open-minded guy, but I'm probably just as judgmental about dudes. 0:10:29.940 --> 0:10:32.350 posting pictures you know looking great in a beach bod 0:10:32.450 --> 0:10:33.949 you know I'd be like come on bro have a 0:10:33.970 --> 0:10:37.090 sandwich you know it's like I mean people can't win 0:10:37.110 --> 0:10:39.250 I don't think it's even just women I think people 0:10:39.290 --> 0:10:41.310 just can't win because no matter what they post someone's 0:10:41.330 --> 0:10:41.550 going to. 0:10:41.550 --> 0:10:44.600 Judge it yeah I think that I think it is 0:10:44.740 --> 0:10:47.319 it's a double standard I think it definitely is and 0:10:47.540 --> 0:10:50.260 I feel like you know women have a have a 0:10:50.300 --> 0:10:54.680 tough time overcoming that but hopefully like I said hopefully 0:10:54.700 --> 0:11:00.110 that there's there's we're maturing and we are evolving. And 0:11:00.150 --> 0:11:02.670 it's not quite as much of a double standard today 0:11:02.790 --> 0:11:04.790 as it was 50 years ago. 0:11:05.870 --> 0:11:07.250 But according to. 0:11:07.220 --> 0:11:09.660 My TikTok buddy over there, he still. 0:11:09.059 --> 0:11:11.510 Doesn't have a tough time with it. 0:11:11.580 --> 0:11:12.480 So who knows? 0:11:13.280 --> 0:11:23.810 Hey, let me ask you this. 0:11:23.850 --> 0:11:26.000 So if you've got a dating app, What are the 0:11:26.100 --> 0:11:31.200 qualities that you see that make you swipe the right way? 0:11:31.280 --> 0:11:32.080 Like, you know, Mr. 0:11:32.140 --> 0:11:34.860 Right probably swipes right, I would guess. And he only 0:11:34.900 --> 0:11:37.380 swipes right when things are right, right? 0:11:37.740 --> 0:11:40.660 So I think that it's like, it's a balance. And 0:11:40.700 --> 0:11:42.720 I think that like, you know, there's a bio, there's 0:11:42.740 --> 0:11:45.520 an explanation of who the person is. And you're sort of, 0:11:45.600 --> 0:11:47.340 in that part, you're kind of looking for somebody that 0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.820 sticks out. Maybe there's a little bit of like humor 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:53.090 to it, or there's a little bit of an edge 0:11:53.179 --> 0:11:53.490 to it. 0:11:54.100 --> 0:11:58.430 Or a little self-deprecation, I think, is a good quality. 0:11:58.910 --> 0:12:02.370 And I think that in photos and things like that, 0:12:02.390 --> 0:12:06.270 you're looking for someone that is obviously like you to 0:12:06.290 --> 0:12:10.550 a certain degree. But I think that the photos, there's 0:12:10.570 --> 0:12:12.470 got to be chemistry. I mean, let's boil it down. 0:12:12.490 --> 0:12:16.239 There's got to be some sort of attraction that happens there. 0:12:16.620 --> 0:12:19.100 But what rounds it out and what broadens it is, 0:12:19.160 --> 0:12:22.319 I think, seeing somebody that, again, has all these different 0:12:22.340 --> 0:12:25.300 kind of levels to it. And if it's six pictures 0:12:25.360 --> 0:12:28.140 of bikinis, it's like, oh, she looks amazing in a bikini, 0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.700 but I know nothing else about her. I don't know 0:12:30.720 --> 0:12:34.479 what else there is. So I think seeing some of that, 0:12:34.520 --> 0:12:37.199 but also seeing what real life looks like, I think 0:12:38.140 --> 0:12:41.620 is important and I think makes it more real. 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:45.660 If real is possible on a daily. Let me ask 0:12:45.679 --> 0:12:45.970 you this. 0:12:46.040 --> 0:12:51.050 So as someone who has a family, when you go 0:12:51.150 --> 0:12:54.850 on and you see someone with, a family, is that 0:12:55.309 --> 0:12:58.610 appealing to you? Or is that, are you like, oh, 0:12:59.200 --> 0:13:03.660 I can't deal with somebody else's, you know, issues or whatever? 0:13:03.720 --> 0:13:05.160 Is it, is it a turn on or a turn off? 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:06.660 Or is it just kind of like what all the 0:13:06.700 --> 0:13:07.840 other factors are more important? 0:13:08.120 --> 0:13:09.839 No, I think, I think it's just, it's another like 0:13:09.900 --> 0:13:12.170 level of that person in a, in a snapshot, right? 0:13:12.250 --> 0:13:14.030 I mean, in a quick snapshot, you want to get 0:13:14.070 --> 0:13:16.510 the best understanding of who they are as quickly as 0:13:16.570 --> 0:13:19.710 possible and Again, I'm not going to sugarcoat it. There 0:13:19.730 --> 0:13:23.050 is attraction and chemistry or whatever that first look is 0:13:23.110 --> 0:13:25.089 when you see that person and either you're attracted or 0:13:25.110 --> 0:13:27.550 you're not. But then what adds to that are all 0:13:27.570 --> 0:13:29.410 the other things that make that person who they are. 0:13:29.850 --> 0:13:32.330 And it's hard to do. I mean, jeez, to do 0:13:32.370 --> 0:13:37.750 it in a dating app is very, very difficult. So 0:13:37.790 --> 0:13:40.010 you're trying to kind of throw as much out there 0:13:40.050 --> 0:13:42.290 as possible to paint yourself in the best light possible. 0:13:42.980 --> 0:13:44.940 But I think that as someone looking at it, you 0:13:44.980 --> 0:13:49.630 want to understand all of those things. Because ultimately, you 0:13:49.650 --> 0:13:50.910 want to find out who that person is. 0:13:51.410 --> 0:13:54.910 Yeah, yeah. So let me ask you this. 0:13:55.210 --> 0:13:57.530 As a guy who's never been on an app, I 0:13:57.590 --> 0:14:00.760 am curious. Have you done an app? And if so, 0:14:00.820 --> 0:14:04.280 what's your bio like? What's your whole portfolio looking like, Mr. 0:14:04.300 --> 0:14:04.520 Wright? 0:14:04.900 --> 0:14:08.040 So I've never personally been on an app myself. I mean, 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:12.240 I have helped buddies looking at apps for themselves. 0:14:12.820 --> 0:14:15.120 I don't have a profile. I've never been on one. 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:18.079 But I have so many friends that have gone through 0:14:18.100 --> 0:14:22.960 in their chapter two, and they're really using these apps, 0:14:23.060 --> 0:14:25.300 and there's a variety of them, and they have different 0:14:25.350 --> 0:14:30.690 levels of success with different ones. But they've gotten very 0:14:30.730 --> 0:14:34.630 good looking at them and going through and deciphering what 0:14:34.650 --> 0:14:36.630 it is that they're looking for. There are a lot 0:14:36.670 --> 0:14:39.770 of indicators that show that someone that's on there isn't 0:14:39.810 --> 0:14:42.210 looking for a relationship. And sometimes that's, you know, it 0:14:42.310 --> 0:14:44.670 says that, but a lot of times there's just ways 0:14:44.710 --> 0:14:46.250 you can kind of tell that that's not what they're 0:14:46.270 --> 0:14:50.210 looking for. So I think that the more you're on them, 0:14:50.230 --> 0:14:51.950 I think the better you get it kind of going 0:14:51.990 --> 0:14:55.230 through and filtering what it is that you are looking 0:14:55.310 --> 0:14:57.230 for and what a match might end up being. 0:14:57.810 --> 0:14:58.070 Right. 0:14:58.390 --> 0:14:58.630 Yeah. 0:14:58.770 --> 0:15:01.730 I mean, I got to imagine it's just like dating. 0:15:01.850 --> 0:15:06.130 It's just, you're dating virtually to a certain degree before 0:15:06.170 --> 0:15:07.870 you actually get together with someone. So it's almost like 0:15:07.890 --> 0:15:10.910 you pre-screen a candidate right before you meet him for 0:15:10.950 --> 0:15:11.930 coffee or whatever it is. 0:15:12.330 --> 0:15:14.010 And I actually, I mean, one of my best friends 0:15:14.730 --> 0:15:17.360 is getting married this March in his second, you know, 0:15:17.380 --> 0:15:20.040 in his second chapter to a girl that he met 0:15:20.200 --> 0:15:23.420 on an app. And, and it was, it was, you know, 0:15:24.580 --> 0:15:26.680 his last first date was when they went off, you know, 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:29.660 after their, after their meeting, after they connected on their, 0:15:29.740 --> 0:15:30.180 on their app. 0:15:30.940 --> 0:15:32.560 And they had, it was, it's funny. 0:15:32.580 --> 0:15:34.620 There was these kind of core things that they had 0:15:34.660 --> 0:15:38.200 in common and, that right away have kind of risen 0:15:38.220 --> 0:15:40.540 to the top as the most important things for them. 0:15:40.920 --> 0:15:44.080 And that has been their connective tissue all the way through. 0:15:44.720 --> 0:15:48.660 And it's their couple of hobbies that they have together. 0:15:49.100 --> 0:15:54.660 There's an 11-year age gap between them, but it doesn't matter. 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:58.500 Those things that she highlighted in her app and her 0:15:58.540 --> 0:16:00.500 profile and what he was looking for and what he 0:16:00.520 --> 0:16:02.200 highlighted kind of connected them. 0:16:02.500 --> 0:16:04.100 And it's still the strongest piece. 0:16:04.510 --> 0:16:06.230 Well, and that's kind of like this TikTok guy, the 0:16:06.270 --> 0:16:08.710 guy saying like, you know, the photos of all these 0:16:08.730 --> 0:16:12.030 accomplishments sets an expectation for the men who are swiping. 0:16:12.650 --> 0:16:16.220 Well, yeah. And isn't that kind of part of it? 0:16:16.230 --> 0:16:19.590 Like for your friend, I'm sure some of those expectations 0:16:19.630 --> 0:16:22.480 or some of those, you know, core common bonds were 0:16:22.510 --> 0:16:24.320 formed over the things that he was seeing on the 0:16:24.400 --> 0:16:25.660 app that were of interest of her. 0:16:25.740 --> 0:16:28.000 And he was probably triggered by that. Like, all right, 0:16:28.020 --> 0:16:28.320 you know what? 0:16:28.340 --> 0:16:30.100 I'll swipe and see if we have an attraction because 0:16:30.140 --> 0:16:32.520 we seem to both like marathons or we seem to 0:16:32.540 --> 0:16:35.510 both like you know, doing charity work, or we seem 0:16:35.530 --> 0:16:37.310 to both like kids or we both seem to both 0:16:37.330 --> 0:16:37.850 like dogs. 0:16:38.030 --> 0:16:40.130 But I think that this guy was talking about, you know, 0:16:40.450 --> 0:16:42.470 you're going to be sitting, you know, in the audience 0:16:42.510 --> 0:16:46.030 while this other person is on stage and, you know, they're, 0:16:46.530 --> 0:16:50.130 you know, the, you know, playing second fiddle to somebody else. And, 0:16:50.150 --> 0:16:53.930 you know, Chris Rock had this great quote in, in 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:56.820 his standup and he was talking about a relationship and 0:16:56.840 --> 0:16:59.160 he was talking about, you know, a relationship is like 0:16:59.200 --> 0:17:01.940 being in a band. And sometimes you have, you have 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:04.720 a lead singer and, And you have a tambourine player. 0:17:06.119 --> 0:17:08.060 So if you're singing Seeing Your Heart Out, if you're 0:17:08.080 --> 0:17:12.060 playing the tambourine though, play that tambourine. Play your ass 0:17:12.140 --> 0:17:15.010 off with that tambourine. Nobody wants to be watching a 0:17:15.070 --> 0:17:16.290 pissed off tambourine player. 0:17:16.930 --> 0:17:19.070 So there's different roles. 0:17:19.190 --> 0:17:20.790 And I think that this guy's worried that he's going 0:17:20.810 --> 0:17:22.290 to be the pissed off tambourine player. 0:17:22.310 --> 0:17:23.649 Pissed off tambourine player. 0:17:23.880 --> 0:17:27.300 Yeah. Because you don't always get to be center stage 0:17:27.480 --> 0:17:31.879 in a relationship. And if that's an issue for you 0:17:32.080 --> 0:17:33.840 out of the gate, you're going to have a tough 0:17:33.880 --> 0:17:37.270 time finding somebody that wants to spend their entire life 0:17:37.310 --> 0:17:38.070 playing tambourine. 0:17:38.600 --> 0:17:39.100 Amen. 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:40.460 Get the center stage. 0:17:40.560 --> 0:17:42.439 No, I get it, man. I get it. That is 0:17:42.480 --> 0:17:43.000 so true. 0:17:43.240 --> 0:17:43.480 Yeah. 0:17:43.540 --> 0:17:46.180 It's, it's definitely complicated when you start thinking about it 0:17:46.200 --> 0:17:46.429 that way. 0:17:46.460 --> 0:17:47.340 Cause it is true, right? 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:50.360 You've even the person who's used to being the lead 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:53.119 singer once in a while has to let the guitar 0:17:53.140 --> 0:17:54.010 solo go. 0:17:54.440 --> 0:17:54.920 No, totally. 0:17:54.940 --> 0:17:56.429 And that's what makes a relationship. 0:17:56.790 --> 0:17:58.250 You know, it's that, it's that, you know, it's that 0:17:58.310 --> 0:18:01.830 balance and you know, the, the idea that you're willing 0:18:01.850 --> 0:18:03.969 to share the spotlight and willing to share the, the, 0:18:04.050 --> 0:18:08.710 you know, the, the stage I think is important. And, um, Yeah, 0:18:08.780 --> 0:18:13.280 I think that this guy that is worried about what 0:18:13.380 --> 0:18:18.820 life might look like if he's not the one being celebrated. 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:20.740 Or maybe it's just that he's worried. 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:24.030