Speaker 1: We all talk to ourselves like our worst enemy. We
Speaker 1: talk to ourselves like someone we hate. We talk to
Speaker 1: ourselves like someone we don't believe in. You never talk
Speaker 1: to your friend like that. Now, I'm not saying that
Speaker 1: you want to falsely cheer yourself up either. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying you just want to look at yourself and be like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm amazing and they were wrong. But you want to
Speaker 1: have an honest assessment. So saying no, you're the best
Speaker 1: isn't true, and saying you're the worst also isn't true.
Speaker 1: The number one health and wellness podcast Jay Setty Jay Shetty,
Speaker 1: Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose. I'm Jay Shetty,
Speaker 1: the author of New York Times best selling books Think
Speaker 1: Like a Monk and Eight Rules of Love. And I'm
Speaker 1: so glad you're here today because i think one of
Speaker 1: the biggest challenges that I'm hearing so many of you
Speaker 1: dealing with right now is not the voices outside. It's
Speaker 1: not the voice of your friends, it's not the voice
Speaker 1: of your families. It's the voice in side your head.
Speaker 1: If you've ever felt that you've got a critic sitting
Speaker 1: in your head. Twenty four to seven, Finding a way
Speaker 1: to overanalyze, criticize, complain about every move you make, every
Speaker 1: thought you have, every decision you're about to make, and
Speaker 1: you find that that critical voice is blocking you from
Speaker 1: living your best life, is blocking you from unleashing your potential,
Speaker 1: is blocking you from making that idea happen. Maybe you
Speaker 1: have an idea for a podcast, but the voice in
Speaker 1: your head always says, don't do it. Maybe you have
Speaker 1: an idea about how to impact the world positively, and
Speaker 1: you've a voice in your head saying you're not good enough.
Speaker 1: Maybe you have the desire to build your own business,
Speaker 1: to start your own company, and the voice in your
Speaker 1: head says it's a stupid idea. Whatever it is, we
Speaker 1: all go through moments in life where we keep beating
Speaker 1: ourselves up. If you're someone who wants to silence that
Speaker 1: critic in your head, this episode is for you. If
Speaker 1: you're someone who wants to break through that negative spiral
Speaker 1: in your mind, this episode is for you. And if
Speaker 1: you're someone who wants to stop beating yourself up and
Speaker 1: start lifting yourself up, this episode is for you. Let's
Speaker 1: dive in. The first thing I want to talk about
Speaker 1: is that self criticism feels like control, but it's actually sabotaged.
Speaker 1: Right when we criticize ourself, we think we're in control,
Speaker 1: we think we know everything, We think we're correcting ourselves.
Speaker 1: What we don't realize is we're actually sabotaging ourselves. Imagine
Speaker 1: a top tennis player keeps berating themselves after every missed shot.
Speaker 1: Instead of focusing, they actually are just beating themselves up
Speaker 1: about the last point. That self criticism that they thought
Speaker 1: would motivate them actually destroys their rhythm. There's an incredible
Speaker 1: speech that was given by Roger Federer at Dartmouth University,
Speaker 1: and he said that in his career he has missed
Speaker 1: so many points, He has lost so many points, but
Speaker 1: he said the biggest skill he had is that he
Speaker 1: never focused on the last point he missed. He said,
Speaker 1: if I'm focused on the last point that I missed,
Speaker 1: or if I'm focused on the future point that I
Speaker 1: might miss, then guess what I miss the present shot.
Speaker 1: I miss the present moment. So many of us are
Speaker 1: beating ourselves up for the past. So many of ourselves
Speaker 1: are beating ourselves up for not having the future we
Speaker 1: thought we were going to build. What does that do?
Speaker 1: It makes the present, lose time, money, energy, everything. Ask
Speaker 1: yourself to stop seeing self criticism as motivating in control.
Speaker 1: Kristin Nef's research on self compassion from two thousand and
Speaker 1: five shows that students who forgave themselves for procrastinating studied
Speaker 1: more effectively for the next exam, while harsh self critics
Speaker 1: repeated the same cycle. Imagine that forgiving yourself makes you
Speaker 1: more focused. Forgiving yourself allows you to move forward. Resenting
Speaker 1: yourself holds you back. Criticizing yourself demotivates you. And think
Speaker 1: about it when you're talking to someone else or when
Speaker 1: someone speaking to you. If someone criticizes your every move.
Speaker 1: I remember I've not played golf very often, but I
Speaker 1: took a lesson once and I had a coach who
Speaker 1: criticized me every quarter of a swing. So even before
Speaker 1: I swung and hit the ball, he would criticize every
Speaker 1: single time, and every time I was about to hit
Speaker 1: the ball, he'd have another criticism. It demotivated me. Think
Speaker 1: about yourself. If every time you share an idea with
Speaker 1: the friend, they just pull it apart, even if they're
Speaker 1: well intentioned, it demotivates you. How many of you have
Speaker 1: called yourself stupid after making a mistake at work, and
Speaker 1: instead of fixing it quickly, you spiral into self doubt,
Speaker 1: which means you make more errors. And what's really interesting
Speaker 1: to me about this is that it's not just about performance,
Speaker 1: it's not just about focus. It's even in relationships. Maybe
Speaker 1: you're beating yourself up for staying in a relationship for
Speaker 1: too long. Maybe you're beating yourself up for allowing someone
Speaker 1: to walk all over you. Maybe you're beating yourself up
Speaker 1: for allowing someone to mistreat you. When you beat yourself
Speaker 1: up for someone already treating you badly, it only gets worse.
Speaker 1: Forgive yourself for confusing attention with love. Forgive yourself for
Speaker 1: ignoring red flags because you wanted it to work. Forgive
Speaker 1: yourself for chasing validation instead of connection. Forgive yourself for
Speaker 1: being loyal to people who weren't loyal to you. Forgive
Speaker 1: yourself so that you can move on. Because we don't
Speaker 1: forgive ourselves, we don't heal. Healing is not just about
Speaker 1: forgiving others, about letting go of what side side of ourselves.
Speaker 1: It's about saying, you know that mistake I made, that's
Speaker 1: all I knew, then, that's all the information I had then,
Speaker 1: and maybe I even knew better. But guess what I'm
Speaker 1: now learning that lesson, I'm now applying it. That will
Speaker 1: free you from actually blocking yourself from growth. The second
Speaker 1: thing I want to talk about is you wouldn't talk
Speaker 1: to a friend like that, So why talk to yourself
Speaker 1: like that? Imagine your best friend failed a job interview.
Speaker 1: Would you say you're useless? You should have prepared better,
Speaker 1: You never get hired. Now, you would never say that
Speaker 1: to a friend ever. Yet that's how we all talk
Speaker 1: to ourselves. We all talk to ourselves like our worst enemy.
Speaker 1: We talk to ourselves like someone we hate. We talk
Speaker 1: to ourselves like someone we don't believe in. You never
Speaker 1: talk to your friend like that. Now, I'm not saying
Speaker 1: that you want to falsely cheer yourself up either. I'm
Speaker 1: not saying you just want to look at yourself and
Speaker 1: be like, no, I'm amazing and they were wrong. But
Speaker 1: you want to have an honest assessment, So saying no,
Speaker 1: you're the best isn't true, and saying you're the worst
Speaker 1: also isn't true. In The Bug with Gheeto, one of
Speaker 1: the books I studied as a monk, it talks about
Speaker 1: how attachment and aversion are two sides of the same coin.
Speaker 1: The feeling of I'm the best or I'm the worst
Speaker 1: are two sides of the same coin. It's just the
Speaker 1: ego playing games with you. When the ego makes you
Speaker 1: believe you're the best, well, you become complacent, infallible. When
Speaker 1: the ego makes you believe you're the worst, guess what,
Speaker 1: it doesn't help you grow. It's the honest introspection, the
Speaker 1: honest assessment that we all need. Hey, this is what
Speaker 1: I got right in the interview. But you know what,
Speaker 1: I didn't really nail these three things. You're now not
Speaker 1: assessing it as you, you're assessing it as something you
Speaker 1: took part in. There's research on self talk that found
Speaker 1: athletes who used positive instructional self talk improved performance, while
Speaker 1: negative self talk led to choking under pressure. Think about that.
Speaker 1: So we all have self talk. You can't stop the
Speaker 1: self talk, but those that were constructive, those that were positive,
Speaker 1: those that were focused forward, made a difference. Imagine before
Speaker 1: a date, you tell yourself, I'm boring, I'm not sure
Speaker 1: they're going to like me. So what happens You walk
Speaker 1: in nervous and awkward. It's a prophecy you help fulfill,
Speaker 1: and what happens in that scenario you end up being boring.
Speaker 1: You end up feeling more boring. Now I'm not saying
Speaker 1: you walk in there and think you're the most interesting
Speaker 1: person on the planet, but you think, hey, you know what,
Speaker 1: I've got a couple of things that are interesting to
Speaker 1: talk about, got a couple of thing in my life
Speaker 1: that are important to talk about. Encourage yourself when no
Speaker 1: one else is clapping. Validate yourself when no one else
Speaker 1: is noticing. Challenge yourself when no one else is pushing
Speaker 1: forgive yourself when no one else understands. Believe in yourself
Speaker 1: before anyone else does. Push yourself without punishing yourself, because
Speaker 1: if you don't do it, you'll always be waiting for
Speaker 1: someone else. Strong people did the difficult thing when no
Speaker 1: one was watching. Strong people did the challenging thing when
Speaker 1: no one was clapping. Strong people did the hardest thing
Speaker 1: when it was just in private. Do the hard thing,
Speaker 1: do the right thing when no one's there to know,
Speaker 1: and you will be able to do it brilliantly when
Speaker 1: they're all watching on the sidelines. The third thing I
Speaker 1: wanted to talk about is how beating yourself up. Doesn't
Speaker 1: build accountability, but it does build shame. Right when you
Speaker 1: keep beating yourself up, you think and by the way,
Speaker 1: we do this to other people as well. Sometimes will
Speaker 1: be mean to someone or will criticize them, hoping that
Speaker 1: helps them improve, but it just keeps beating them down.
Speaker 1: You can't beat someone down and lift them up at
Speaker 1: the same time, which is what we're trying to do, right.
Speaker 1: We're trying to beat ourselves up so that we do more,
Speaker 1: are more productive, and more effective. Doesn't work that way.
Speaker 1: Imagine a teenager court cheating an exam. They feel so
Speaker 1: much shame and they think I'm a terrible person. Instead
Speaker 1: of changing, they hide their mistakes and cheat again. Brene
Speaker 1: Brown's work distinguishes guilt I did something bad from shame
Speaker 1: I am bad. Guilt drives corrective action, Shame feel secrecy,
Speaker 1: and withdrawal. Notice the difference I did something bad, I
Speaker 1: am bad. Every time you say I am and follow
Speaker 1: it up with a negative word, you start believing that
Speaker 1: is your identity. Every time you say I did something bad,
Speaker 1: you're able to recognize it as a habit or a
Speaker 1: pattern that you can change. It's a lot harder to
Speaker 1: feel we can change ourselves than change something we did.
Speaker 1: Let me give you a real life example. Imagine you
Speaker 1: snap at your partner and then afterwards you feel shame.
Speaker 1: You think I'm a horrible partner. What happens Instead of apologizing,
Speaker 1: you avoid them because you feel so bad about yourself.
Speaker 1: What does that do? It only makes things worse. When
Speaker 1: you just shame yourself as a bad person, you actually
Speaker 1: want to spend less time doing the good. It's almost
Speaker 1: like you get so comfortable in the dark that the
Speaker 1: light kind of exposes you, so you move away from
Speaker 1: the light. We don't want to move away from the light.
Speaker 1: When the light comes on, you see things for what
Speaker 1: they are, and shame blocks us from seeing the way
Speaker 1: things they are because it's too scary, it's too hard.
Speaker 1: I'll give you a really interesting example. I remember the
Speaker 1: first time I went to Vegas at night there was
Speaker 1: all this glitz and glam and all the rest of it.
Speaker 1: In the morning, I remember with the lights on the
Speaker 1: casino floor, seeing people glued to the slot machine, seeing
Speaker 1: vomit or drinks and popcorn all over the floor, and
Speaker 1: seeing people passed out like it just wasn't the same
Speaker 1: sight because the light shows us what's actually there, so
Speaker 1: we move away from the light when it shows us
Speaker 1: what's actually there. But if we cannot let shame take over,
Speaker 1: we can actually look at things for what they are.
Speaker 1: Shame yourself. It won't change you. Compassion will. Don't blame yourself.
Speaker 1: It won't change you. Accountability will. Don't criticize yourself. It
Speaker 1: won't change you. Action will. Don't beat yourself up. It
Speaker 1: won't change you. Challenges will. You don't grow because of guilt.
Speaker 1: It just slows you down. I've come to realize that
Speaker 1: food is never just food. It's a memory. I love language,
Speaker 1: a way we express who we are without saying a word.
Speaker 1: Some of the most meaningful conversations I've ever had happened
Speaker 1: around a table. That moment when someone passes you a
Speaker 1: dish that's been in their family for generations, or when
Speaker 1: a flavor takes you back to childhood. That's connection, that's presence.
Speaker 1: That's why I love what Chase Sapphire Reserve is doing.
Speaker 1: They're not just creating dining experiences, They're creating opportunities to
Speaker 1: feel something deeper through food. When we look back on
Speaker 1: our lives, we rarely remember what we had for lunch.
Speaker 1: On a random Tuesday. But we do remember the meals
Speaker 1: that made us feel seen, the ones where we lost
Speaker 1: track of time with the food was just the beginning
Speaker 1: of something more. A moment with someone we love, a
Speaker 1: conversation that opened our heart, a reminder of where we
Speaker 1: came from. With Chase Sapphire Reserve, card members get access
Speaker 1: to those kinds of moments, the ones where food becomes
Speaker 1: a story. Imagine sitting at a dinner where the chef
Speaker 1: doesn't just cook, they share. They tell you where the
Speaker 1: dish came from, what it means to them, and how
Speaker 1: it shaped their journey. That's what it's really about, not
Speaker 1: just tasting something new, but stepping into someone else's world
Speaker 1: for a moment, and maybe understanding you're your own a
Speaker 1: little better too. If you want to experience dining that's
Speaker 1: more than just a meal, something that nourishes your mind,
Speaker 1: your body, and your connection to others, visit Chase dot
Speaker 1: Com forward Slash Sapphire Reserve. Food connects us not just
Speaker 1: to each other, but to a part of ourselves. We
Speaker 1: sometimes forget the part that slows down, that listens, that feels.
Speaker 1: With Chase Sapphire Reserve, you're not just making a reservation.
Speaker 1: You're creating a memory, a moment of presence, a moment
Speaker 1: of purpose. The four point today is your brain is
Speaker 1: wired to focus on mistakes. How many times have you
Speaker 1: had this? You do something right and your brain will
Speaker 1: barely notice it. You do something wrong and your brain
Speaker 1: will think about it all day. Let's say you were
Speaker 1: great in a meeting today. At work, you'll forget about
Speaker 1: it in the next meeting. You say something sloppy or
Speaker 1: made a mistake at a meeting, and work you're now
Speaker 1: thinking about for the rest of the rest of the week,
Speaker 1: thinking that's all anyone can think about. Your brain is
Speaker 1: wired to focus on mistakes. Imagine this, a musician finishes
Speaker 1: their concert. Hundreds of thousands of people are clapping. One
Speaker 1: person frowns, one person isn't happy. One person posts on
Speaker 1: social media that they want their money back. Guess what
Speaker 1: the mind obsesses over. It obsesses over the negative comments.
Speaker 1: You may even see this on your social media. You'll
Speaker 1: have ten of your friends respond. One of them doesn't
Speaker 1: in the group chat, and you're thinking about that one friend.
Speaker 1: Why didn't they respond? Don't they like me? You're forgetting
Speaker 1: about the ten people over here who responded immediately. It's
Speaker 1: your birthday. Seven people show up to the party that
Speaker 1: you wanted to see, three people don't show up, whereas
Speaker 1: your mind go to the three people who didn't show up.
Speaker 1: One study showed that negative events wag three to five
Speaker 1: times more heavily in our minds than positive ones. This
Speaker 1: is known as the negativity bias. So what do we
Speaker 1: do with that? Here's what I've learned. You remember the
Speaker 1: bad times more than the good times because when things
Speaker 1: go well, you celebrate for a night, but when things
Speaker 1: go bad, you cry for a month. We're used to
Speaker 1: going deeper into our harder emotions than we are into
Speaker 1: our happier emotions. We've got to learn to rewire our mind.
Speaker 1: How do we do this? When something good happens to you,
Speaker 1: share it. When something good happens to you, or someone
Speaker 1: does something good to you, share it, talk about it.
Speaker 1: You're training your mind to spot what will change it positively.
Speaker 1: I could look around this room and I can think
Speaker 1: about all the mistakes in how the furniture is placed
Speaker 1: and what I need to change. That's important. But at
Speaker 1: the same time, I can look around and see how
Speaker 1: beautiful it is. That's also important. It's valuable to know
Speaker 1: what needs to change in your life. It's valuable to
Speaker 1: know what's not going in the direction you want it
Speaker 1: to go in your life. But if that's all you have,
Speaker 1: then you'll just create more of it. There's something known
Speaker 1: as the frequency illusion. How many terms have you said
Speaker 1: to yourself, I really like that color, or I really
Speaker 1: like that shirt or pants or whatever it is, and
Speaker 1: now you see them everywhere. Everyone's wearing them. Everyone's wearing
Speaker 1: that color. Or you want to get a car and
Speaker 1: you want to get a black car, and now you
Speaker 1: see black cars everywhere. It's not like there's more black
Speaker 1: cars on the road, or more people are wearing those
Speaker 1: skirts or shirts or whatever it may be. It's just
Speaker 1: that you have a heightened awareness of it. This is
Speaker 1: why gratitude works so well. Gratitude doesn't work because it's magic.
Speaker 1: It's that when you become grateful for something, you notice
Speaker 1: more things to be grateful for. Right now, your brain
Speaker 1: is wired to spot negative things, So you spot more
Speaker 1: negative things than you do positive, not because there are
Speaker 1: more negative things in the world, just because you're trained
Speaker 1: to notice it. One of my favorite quotes from Wayne
Speaker 1: Dyer is this, you don't see things as they are.
Speaker 1: You see things as you are. When you are focused
Speaker 1: on the negative, you see more negative. When you focus
Speaker 1: on the positive, you notice more positive. This isn't positive thinking.
Speaker 1: Positive thinking is pretending like the negative doesn't exist. Noticing
Speaker 1: good things is learning to tune yourself in to higher
Speaker 1: vibration and frequency. Point number five is that progress is
Speaker 1: not linear. Thomas Edison tested over one thousand prototypes before
Speaker 1: the light bulb worked. If he saw setbacks his failure,
Speaker 1: he'd have quit after attempt number ten. There's an amazing
Speaker 1: study that talks about the stages of change. Model shows
Speaker 1: that relapse i e. Slipping back into smoking, for example,
Speaker 1: isn't failure. It's part of how lasting behavior change happens.
Speaker 1: Think about this for a second. You commit to running
Speaker 1: three times a week. One week, you only manage once,
Speaker 1: and what usually happens is you quit. You got I
Speaker 1: messed up this week. Next week I won't run it all.
Speaker 1: But what happens you actually lose track. Whereas when you
Speaker 1: recognize that that's part of the process of change. When
Speaker 1: you set a new goal, when you set a new habit,
Speaker 1: you are going to have days that you fall back.
Speaker 1: When you break up with someone. You might feel healed
Speaker 1: in a month, and then in seven months you're going
Speaker 1: to be sitting there thinking about your ex. That's part
Speaker 1: of the healing journey. When you realize that healing is
Speaker 1: three steps forward, two steps back, four steps forward, three
Speaker 1: steps back, sometimes one step forward, four steps back. When
Speaker 1: you realize that's what healing looks like, you're actually free
Speaker 1: to heal when you want it all to happen today,
Speaker 1: When you want healing to all happen tomorrow, it will
Speaker 1: last forever. So when we fall off track, we beat
Speaker 1: ourselves up. Oh I did three times last week, but
Speaker 1: this time only went to the gym once. I was
Speaker 1: eating really really healthy, but last night I just crash.
Speaker 1: Guess what, the week doesn't matter, right, How many times
Speaker 1: have you done that? And it all happens because you
Speaker 1: beat yourself up. You don't fall back into bad habits
Speaker 1: because you're lazy. You fall back into bad habits because
Speaker 1: you beat yourself up. When you have a bad day.
Speaker 1: Don't turn a bad day into a bad week. Don't
Speaker 1: turn a bad week into a bad month, and don't
Speaker 1: turn a bad month into a bad year. Let it
Speaker 1: be a bad day that's okay, But tomorrow pick yourself
Speaker 1: up and make it a great one. It's when you
Speaker 1: don't beat yourself up that you keep the power of
Speaker 1: turning a bad day into a good month, a bad
Speaker 1: day into a good week. I hope that resonates with you.
Speaker 1: Next time you set a goal, a change, or whatever
Speaker 1: you want to do and you fall off, know that
Speaker 1: that's part of it. Give yourself grace and you'll be
Speaker 1: able to get back on track much quicker. The sixth
Speaker 1: thing I wanted to share with you today is that
Speaker 1: rest is part of progress, not the opposite of it.
Speaker 1: So many of us think that rest means we're not
Speaker 1: moving forward. My monk teacher used to say, if you
Speaker 1: want to move three steps forward, you have to go
Speaker 1: three steps deep. So if you're struggling to move forward,
Speaker 1: ask yourself if you've gone inward already. Elite athletes schedule
Speaker 1: recovery days as strictly as training days. Serena Williams even
Speaker 1: naps before matches because rest is strategy, not laziness. For
Speaker 1: most of us, though, rest isn't something we plan. It's
Speaker 1: something we end up doing when we're exhausted. When you're
Speaker 1: resting when you're exhausted, that's not rest. That's survival, that's recovery.
Speaker 1: That's why it's so stressful. Whereas the highest performers in
Speaker 1: the world have scheduled rest, that scheduled rest is what
Speaker 1: helps them perform at their best in all the other times.
Speaker 1: On the podcast, I've into Matthew Walker, who has done
Speaker 1: a lot of research on sleep, and his study on
Speaker 1: why We Sleep from twenty seventeen shows deep sleep consolidates
Speaker 1: learning and strengthens memory. Without it, performance and creativity drop.
Speaker 1: Some people think, oh, oh sleep when I'm dead, Oh
Speaker 1: our sleep when I'm tired. That sleep is the reason
Speaker 1: you can be so productive. That sleep is the reason
Speaker 1: you can be proactive. That sleep is the reason you
Speaker 1: can be so effective. So no, don't beat yourself up
Speaker 1: for wanting to rest, don't beat yourself up for wanting
Speaker 1: to take a break, don't beat yourself up for wanting
Speaker 1: to slow down, And don't beat yourself up for wanting
Speaker 1: to have your own time. Allow yourself to slow down,
Speaker 1: give yourself permission to be still. That's where your power is.
Speaker 1: Let me give you an example. You work late every
Speaker 1: night to get ahead, but you're so burned out you're
Speaker 1: starting to make sloppy mistakes. A rested version of you
Speaker 1: would finish faster with fewer errors. Working more doesn't achieve more.
Speaker 1: Losing sleep doesn't achieve more. Trying to do everything doesn't
Speaker 1: achieve more. Sometimes you achieve more by more rest, more stillness,
Speaker 1: and more calm. Point number seven is that self kindness
Speaker 1: builds resilience more than self criticism ever will. Navy seals
Speaker 1: in training who used encouraging self talk were far more
Speaker 1: likely to complete Hell Week than those who tore themselves down. Now,
Speaker 1: for those of you who don't know, Hell Week is
Speaker 1: the most grueling training that a Navy seal goes through.
Speaker 1: I interviewed David Goggins, and if you want to know
Speaker 1: more about it, you can go back to that episode
Speaker 1: and watch and listen to what that week actually entails.
Speaker 1: It's a five and a half day period during the
Speaker 1: first phase of seal training. Candidates average about four hours
Speaker 1: of sleep for the entire week, less than one hour
Speaker 1: per night. They're constantly exposed to cold water, mud, sand,
Speaker 1: physical drills, and team challenges. Training goes day and night,
Speaker 1: running information, carrying boats and logs, swimming in the Pacific
Speaker 1: obstacle courses. The goal isn't just to push the body.
Speaker 1: It's to test the mind and spirit under exhaustion. Instructors
Speaker 1: want to see who breaks under stress, who stays calm
Speaker 1: when freezing, exhausted and in pain, Who can lead and
Speaker 1: support teammates when everyone is suffering. About seventy to eighty
Speaker 1: percent of candidates quit during hell week. Those who survive
Speaker 1: don't necessarily have the strongest bodies. They have the strongest
Speaker 1: mental resilience because their self talk is not negative. They
Speaker 1: found that breaking down the week into moments to get
Speaker 1: through the next meal not survive five days. Nephan Jermer
Speaker 1: in twenty thirteen found people who practice self compassion meditation
Speaker 1: increased resilience, life satisfaction, and reduced anxiety. Imagine, after bombing
Speaker 1: a presentation, you tell yourself it's one talk, not my
Speaker 1: whole career. Next time, I'll be sharper. That mindset keeps
Speaker 1: you moving forward instead of giving up. You don't get
Speaker 1: stronger by beating yourself down. You get stronger by giving
Speaker 1: yourself the same kindness you'd give to any one you love.
Speaker 1: I really hope that this episode is able to help
Speaker 1: you quiet that inner critic. It's not going anywhere, it's
Speaker 1: not going away. We're not trying to get rid of it.
Speaker 1: What we're trying to do is that we make sure
Speaker 1: we have the new scripts in our mind that have
Speaker 1: positive self talk, that focus on what we can be
Speaker 1: grateful for, that look for opportunities more than problems, and
Speaker 1: that when they look for problems, they look for systems
Speaker 1: and solutions, not criticism, not shame. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for listening. I hope you'll share this with a friend
Speaker 1: who struggles with this too. I hope you'll discuss it
Speaker 1: with them, and I'll see you on the next episode.
Speaker 1: Thanks for being here. I'm forever in your corner and
Speaker 1: I'm always rooting for you. If you love this episode,
Speaker 1: you love my conversation with doctor Joe Dispenser on why
Speaker 1: stress and overthinking negatively impacts your brain and heart and
Speaker 1: how to change your habits that are on autopilot. Listen
Speaker 1: to it right now. How many times do we have
Speaker 1: to forget until we stop forgetting and start remembering. That's
Speaker 1: the moment of change. No one cares how many times
Speaker 1: you fell off the bicycle if you ride the bicycle,
Speaker 1: now you ride the bike.