WEBVTT - Raised by White Parents: A Black Adoptee Speaks

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<v Speaker 1>Hey, fam I'm Jada Pinkett Smith, and this is the

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<v Speaker 1>Red Table Pop podcast all your favorite episodes from the

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<v Speaker 1>I Heart Radio. Please don't forget to rate and review

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<v Speaker 1>on Apple Podcasts. On this Red Table Talk, she was

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<v Speaker 1>adopted by white parents in an all white town. But

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<v Speaker 1>I don't identify with black folks, and I'm not comfortable

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<v Speaker 1>even sitting at this table with you now, She says,

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<v Speaker 1>she feels lost cup between two races. I have no

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<v Speaker 1>sense of strong identity without knowing my culture. How am

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<v Speaker 1>I supposed to raise a black child if I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know Black culture? But if you're trying to counsel other

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<v Speaker 1>people want how to do it? Counsel yourself. And then

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<v Speaker 1>an emotional reunion with her birth mother. It's an overwhelming

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<v Speaker 1>moment sitting in between parents. Willow, how do you think

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<v Speaker 1>you would feel if you have been adopted by a

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<v Speaker 1>white family. I literally have this zero idea. What about

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<v Speaker 1>how I was raised. I've always been a very strong

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<v Speaker 1>proponent for black children being raised in black families. Well,

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<v Speaker 1>I know how difficult it was trying to go to

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<v Speaker 1>all white private schools, So I would imagine that being

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<v Speaker 1>raised by white family would be changed. I mean, I

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<v Speaker 1>guess living in Calabasas, there's so many yeah, exactly, but

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<v Speaker 1>where you are, don't try it. But being young and

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<v Speaker 1>going out and basically only seeing white people, that's my experience.

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<v Speaker 1>And your mother made sure that you went to school

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<v Speaker 1>with black children, even if she had to create the

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<v Speaker 1>school her dads off, which I did. Yeah, all right,

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<v Speaker 1>well let's go. Let's go talk to to miss Angela

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<v Speaker 1>and hear her story. So this is going to be

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<v Speaker 1>a fascinating conversation. Angela Tucker, a black woman who was

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<v Speaker 1>adopted by a white family, is at the table today.

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<v Speaker 1>Angela's birth mother, Deborah, was homeless and in poor health,

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<v Speaker 1>barely able to take care of herself, let alone her

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<v Speaker 1>newborn baby, who was just diagnosed with a form of

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<v Speaker 1>cerebral palsy. Even though it tore her apart, Debor made

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<v Speaker 1>the agonizing decision to give Angela up. She was adopted

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<v Speaker 1>by a white couple, eager to give her a good

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<v Speaker 1>life and to take care of her medical needs. They

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<v Speaker 1>moved Angela into their home and they're all white town.

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<v Speaker 1>Angela says she loves her family, but that she grew

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<v Speaker 1>up disconnected from black culture, and that has left her

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<v Speaker 1>feeling more white than black. Now, Angela is using what

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<v Speaker 1>she has learned in her personal struggle to help families

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<v Speaker 1>navigate the challenges of transracial adoptions. I was embarrassed. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't look like my parents. I look different, My

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<v Speaker 1>eyes are different, my skin tone is different. People knew

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<v Speaker 1>I was different. You were a doctor, you were thirteen

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<v Speaker 1>months yes, okay? And what was it like growing up

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<v Speaker 1>in this all white town and and having white parents.

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<v Speaker 1>I have no sense of strong identity. Being a transmracial

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<v Speaker 1>adoptee is really difficult to share what we really feel

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<v Speaker 1>because we have parents who raised us and love us,

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<v Speaker 1>and we don't want to appear that we did. We're

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<v Speaker 1>not grateful for what they've done. For me, to talk

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<v Speaker 1>about transracial adoption honestly is to hurt somebody. I understand

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<v Speaker 1>that keeping me alive and prioritizing my medical needs was

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<v Speaker 1>really important. And look, I'm alive today. I'm alive, but

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<v Speaker 1>dead inside in some ways without knowing my culture and

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<v Speaker 1>not being connected. So for me, I don't feel like

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<v Speaker 1>transracial adoption is the right solution because essentially we're asking

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<v Speaker 1>me as a black woman to assimilate into white culture,

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<v Speaker 1>but to also keep my blackness somehow, even though I

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<v Speaker 1>wasn't raised within it. People often don't admit this, but

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of black transracial adoptees look in the mirror

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<v Speaker 1>and are surprised when we look in the mirror and

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<v Speaker 1>see a black person because we're so used to seeing

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<v Speaker 1>white people, and we see our parents and they're white

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<v Speaker 1>and we love them, and so then when we see ourselves, like, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I forgot I'm black as a black woman, Where do

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<v Speaker 1>you feel most comfortable? Where I fit in. Where I

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<v Speaker 1>feel like I actually belong is with other transracial adoptees.

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<v Speaker 1>So I feel like white people are comfortable around me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm comfortable with white people. It's not that I don't

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<v Speaker 1>want to identify as a black woman, but not growing

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<v Speaker 1>up with black culture and feeling fear. When I met

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<v Speaker 1>my birth mother and my whole birth family, I was

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<v Speaker 1>a little bit afraid to meet them because they're a

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<v Speaker 1>black family and I haven't been around that, and so

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<v Speaker 1>exactly I can't consider it alien to you, like completely unknown,

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<v Speaker 1>it was and therefore kind of scary. But then at

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<v Speaker 1>the same time, I was like, this is my family.

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<v Speaker 1>And why am I afraid of my own family? But

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<v Speaker 1>I don't identify with black folks because I I feel

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<v Speaker 1>my own sense of fear or like illegitimacy is how

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<v Speaker 1>I feel even sitting at this table with you, because

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like you three are legitimate black people because

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<v Speaker 1>they were raised by black people. It's like it's embarrassing

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<v Speaker 1>to say that, but that's how. The thing that's troubling

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<v Speaker 1>me just a little bit. I want you to clarify it,

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<v Speaker 1>if you can, is your use of the term fear,

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<v Speaker 1>the fear of black people. Where where is that coming

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<v Speaker 1>from that you choose that term fear. I think about

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<v Speaker 1>all of our implicit biases that we hold, and I

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<v Speaker 1>can feel in my body how I change, how I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not as comfortable. Yeah, when I with all black folks,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't fit in right. What are you doing now

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<v Speaker 1>to try to assimilate into the black community or do

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<v Speaker 1>you even feel the need to do that or do

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like I have the right to do that?

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<v Speaker 1>And I don't think I don't think I feel the right.

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't thought about it just like that. But I

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<v Speaker 1>have embraced my place in the white world, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>like I've chosen to live in a predominantly white neighborhood,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm just trying to be okay with that right now.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to be like, you know, I grew up

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<v Speaker 1>in white spaces, so it makes sense that I might

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<v Speaker 1>feel safe here, I would imagine, I mean even for

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<v Speaker 1>coming from Baltimore, Maryland and then coming out to Los Angeles,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I mean, it's just like the streets of

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<v Speaker 1>Baltimore were familiar to me, and then rolling in the

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<v Speaker 1>streets of Calabasas was just right. It takes a minute,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, people like, you know, you're stepping up. It's like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm stepping up, but this is like, this is right,

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<v Speaker 1>this is not my thing. And people think that's very

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<v Speaker 1>similar to adoption, where it's like, oh, you've gotten a

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<v Speaker 1>better life, Like looking at my birth mother and she

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't have a lot of materialistic stuff, but I still

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<v Speaker 1>long to be close to her with her, And that's

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<v Speaker 1>one thing that adoptees don't feel safe to say I

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<v Speaker 1>wish I had that, because the rest of the world's like, wait, what,

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<v Speaker 1>you have great parents, We're able to afford all these

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<v Speaker 1>extracurriculars for you and all this and you probably wouldn't

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<v Speaker 1>have had that there. When I listen to you, it

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<v Speaker 1>sounds like there's a lot of internal conflict all over

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<v Speaker 1>the place. Yeah, I struggle because I'm certainly grateful for

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<v Speaker 1>the life I've been afforded and all the opportunities that

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<v Speaker 1>I've had. But at the same time, it's hard to

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<v Speaker 1>walk around every day and have people see a black woman,

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<v Speaker 1>but for me not to even feel like a black woman,

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<v Speaker 1>and that conflict that happens every single day is is

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<v Speaker 1>it's a huge wait. But what I also know is

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<v Speaker 1>that I was given what I feel like it was

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<v Speaker 1>white privileged by osmosis. A lot of people like myself.

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<v Speaker 1>Once we leave the house and we no longer have

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<v Speaker 1>white privileged by osmosis, it's like an awakening. So I

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<v Speaker 1>chose to go to a predominantly white college because that's

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<v Speaker 1>what just made sense for me. So I was comfortable.

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<v Speaker 1>How were you accepted in that environment and did you

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<v Speaker 1>feel racism? Then when I went to college, I did

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<v Speaker 1>feel a lot of racism, but it was coated in

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<v Speaker 1>this this way that where I was put up on

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<v Speaker 1>a pedestal. Those it's tokenism being in all white school,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, always being chosen to be on like the

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<v Speaker 1>college pamphlets and things like that. I was like, oh, god,

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<v Speaker 1>do you think I'm wonderful? Really like they need that

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<v Speaker 1>token and I don't know if they embraced me. They're

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<v Speaker 1>they're fetishizing me, and I'm like interesting to everybody. Everyone

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<v Speaker 1>is like, yeah, your lips are so big. Here people

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<v Speaker 1>reach out and can't resists touching my hair. Oh my god.

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't think of it as racism at the time.

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<v Speaker 1>I just thought it was maybe flattering, And then I

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<v Speaker 1>started to realize what was happening. Token racism is like,

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<v Speaker 1>that's something we don't talk about a lot, and we

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<v Speaker 1>experience a lot in our industry. Not having other people

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<v Speaker 1>to bounce these stories off of is what was really tough.

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<v Speaker 1>So that's when I really started thinking about my blackness.

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<v Speaker 1>You are now helping transracial adoptions by talking to families

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<v Speaker 1>that that adopt black children, And how do you do that?

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<v Speaker 1>Is it a coaching? Is it mentoring? It's a lot

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<v Speaker 1>of education, and it's a lot of talking about feelings. Sadly,

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<v Speaker 1>adoptive parents have really like they've commandeered the whole conversation

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<v Speaker 1>and so unfortunately we rarely hear from adopted people themselves,

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<v Speaker 1>because as we often think about adoption as babies and

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<v Speaker 1>I'm an adult, you know, but reality is that we

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<v Speaker 1>grow up and we are still adopted. Rarely do we

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<v Speaker 1>hear from birth parents. Instead, they're just kind of this amorphous,

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<v Speaker 1>villainized people that are like they're always in the shadows,

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<v Speaker 1>forgotten about. They're scary, you know. So a lot of

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<v Speaker 1>my work is helping adoptive families to humanize their children's

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<v Speaker 1>birth parents. I'm hoping that I lived to see the

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<v Speaker 1>day to where people say when I say I'm adopted,

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<v Speaker 1>they say, gosh, did someone try to keep you with

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<v Speaker 1>your family first? Instead of what we hear is your

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<v Speaker 1>parents must be so great. I never never thought about

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<v Speaker 1>it from that perspective. My birth mom, she gave birth

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<v Speaker 1>to me, and then she walked out the door and

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<v Speaker 1>was homeless again. She said, everybody cares about you, getting

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<v Speaker 1>you somewhere, but nobody cared about me. And I'm like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>what's up with them? We still see that like that,

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<v Speaker 1>that discarding for the life of the woman who is

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<v Speaker 1>having this child. I need to just say this though,

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<v Speaker 1>this discomfort that you have with your own blackness, but

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<v Speaker 1>yet you're counseling others on how to incorporate brown children

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<v Speaker 1>into their families. I feel in a bind because I've

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<v Speaker 1>grown up in whiteness and I have fostered, and my

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<v Speaker 1>husband and I want to foster again, and it makes

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<v Speaker 1>sense to me to foster a white child because that's

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<v Speaker 1>what I'm familiar with. But then I'm like, well, that

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<v Speaker 1>is quite a conflict, like a real freaking con That

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<v Speaker 1>is right for psychological archaeos. But if you're trying to

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<v Speaker 1>counsel other people on how to do it, counsel yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>what are you saying, how would I do that? Like

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<v Speaker 1>counsel yourself and how to raise child? Yes, how am

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<v Speaker 1>I supposed to raise a black child if I don't

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<v Speaker 1>know a black culture. What you're telling other people to

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<v Speaker 1>do is to move into a black expose the child

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<v Speaker 1>to black culture. You can do the same thing. What

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<v Speaker 1>a tall order. It's a tall order, but because an

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<v Speaker 1>order for a white person to do it for a

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<v Speaker 1>black person, so as a black person to do it

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<v Speaker 1>for a black child, it certainly is to me would

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<v Speaker 1>be a bit easier because you have some idea of

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<v Speaker 1>what it's like being black in the world. Do that

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<v Speaker 1>could be a real healing process for yourself, for you, right,

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<v Speaker 1>But if that's not my goal, you know. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm just saying I just have I've learned how to

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<v Speaker 1>flourish in a white world, and so you have no desire.

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<v Speaker 1>But and we as black people, we can't keep asking

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<v Speaker 1>white people to do things for us that we're not

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<v Speaker 1>willing to do for ourselves. White people in their comfort

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<v Speaker 1>zones too. That's what we do to white privilege and

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<v Speaker 1>all of that is trying to pull white people out

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<v Speaker 1>of their comfort zone to go, Hey, just step in

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<v Speaker 1>to our work, in our in our world a little

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<v Speaker 1>bit and understand our experience. Yes, you feel me. Sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>our biggest treasures and and our biggest lessons are in

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<v Speaker 1>the zones of discomfort. You're putting up an excuse the

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<v Speaker 1>reason why you can't do it. Yeah, So we want

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<v Speaker 1>to remove that, and we want you to just sit

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<v Speaker 1>with that for a minute, just sit with the idea

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<v Speaker 1>for a minute. Yeah. Well, Angela's adopted parents to Theresa

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<v Speaker 1>and David, have agreed to join us at the table

0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:53.720
<v Speaker 1>for their first interview together. So first of all, I

0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:56.960
<v Speaker 1>just like to say, you guys have raised a phenomenal

0:13:57.240 --> 0:14:01.560
<v Speaker 1>young woman quite dynamic as she was growing up, Did

0:14:01.559 --> 0:14:04.600
<v Speaker 1>you guys realize any struggles that she was having or

0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:08.560
<v Speaker 1>you know, first was the hair because we didn't know

0:14:08.600 --> 0:14:12.000
<v Speaker 1>how to do that. Her friends were always touching her hair.

0:14:12.640 --> 0:14:17.520
<v Speaker 1>I just thought of curiosity. They've never seen hair like this, right, right,

0:14:17.600 --> 0:14:27.080
<v Speaker 1>Like the translational adoptee has to become a teaching tool exactly,

0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:30.280
<v Speaker 1>But think of that. That could be a positive experience,

0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:35.640
<v Speaker 1>broadening other people's horizons and understanding. Yeah, in a white,

0:14:36.040 --> 0:14:40.160
<v Speaker 1>predominantly white town. Nonetheless, it can be a step towards

0:14:40.440 --> 0:14:43.960
<v Speaker 1>raising awareness. That could be a step towards raising awareness,

0:14:43.960 --> 0:14:48.120
<v Speaker 1>but it also can be burdened on the child. Yeah,

0:14:48.760 --> 0:14:52.760
<v Speaker 1>growing up my sister, I loved how her hair was

0:14:53.160 --> 0:14:56.800
<v Speaker 1>sleek and down and would like flow in the wind.

0:14:56.920 --> 0:15:01.680
<v Speaker 1>I loved her blue eyes. I like my dad's blew eyes.

0:15:01.800 --> 0:15:06.600
<v Speaker 1>I just I just didn't. It comes back to representation,

0:15:06.680 --> 0:15:10.200
<v Speaker 1>like I don't see I don't see that. I see

0:15:10.200 --> 0:15:13.040
<v Speaker 1>this and it's it's beautiful and I love them. I

0:15:13.080 --> 0:15:15.840
<v Speaker 1>want to be like that. Yeah. I remember I went

0:15:15.880 --> 0:15:18.080
<v Speaker 1>through a little face when I was younger where I

0:15:18.120 --> 0:15:21.960
<v Speaker 1>hated my hair and I would cry and I would

0:15:21.960 --> 0:15:24.080
<v Speaker 1>just be like I want I want my hair to

0:15:24.320 --> 0:15:25.840
<v Speaker 1>just like you were saying, my hair to fall. I

0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:29.200
<v Speaker 1>wanted to and all. And then I remember you showed

0:15:29.240 --> 0:15:32.280
<v Speaker 1>me rough and stuff and I watched that video when

0:15:32.280 --> 0:15:38.600
<v Speaker 1>I was like stuff like that. That's when my whole,

0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.800
<v Speaker 1>my whole life changed with my hair. Lady, you were like, here,

0:15:41.880 --> 0:15:47.120
<v Speaker 1>none of this, but they're they're in lies again. My my,

0:15:47.120 --> 0:15:52.120
<v Speaker 1>my concern and the challenge of not being raised, you know,

0:15:52.880 --> 0:15:55.560
<v Speaker 1>around your own not even around you, even if you're

0:15:55.600 --> 0:15:59.840
<v Speaker 1>not in you know, but not even around nowhere around

0:16:00.000 --> 0:16:04.360
<v Speaker 1>owned your own culture, right, it becomes problematic with your

0:16:04.400 --> 0:16:09.800
<v Speaker 1>own self esteem, self worth. Absolutely. What made you decide

0:16:09.920 --> 0:16:14.520
<v Speaker 1>to adopt children of color? I'm not sure that was

0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:19.880
<v Speaker 1>conscious decision. Wow, Okay. We asked ourselves, asked each other,

0:16:20.400 --> 0:16:23.520
<v Speaker 1>what are we reopen to? What can we handle and

0:16:23.600 --> 0:16:28.000
<v Speaker 1>contribute to? And we found Angela in a book the

0:16:28.040 --> 0:16:31.920
<v Speaker 1>State of Tennessee. And what we saw was a child

0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:37.600
<v Speaker 1>who also had spastic quadriplegia hearing loss, and that we

0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:40.360
<v Speaker 1>could we could we could help she being part of

0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:44.240
<v Speaker 1>our family. So you didn't really even consider the fact

0:16:44.280 --> 0:16:48.320
<v Speaker 1>that she was black. It wasn't something that even really

0:16:48.880 --> 0:16:52.160
<v Speaker 1>just about. I saw a child in need, yeah, obviously

0:16:52.280 --> 0:16:56.040
<v Speaker 1>her picture was right, but you didn't consider that there

0:16:56.120 --> 0:17:00.320
<v Speaker 1>might be any challenges or any differences and how she

0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:03.720
<v Speaker 1>would be raised based on her race. If we did

0:17:03.760 --> 0:17:05.760
<v Speaker 1>at that time, they would have been secondary to what

0:17:05.880 --> 0:17:10.359
<v Speaker 1>are the needs. Well, Angela's birth mother, Deborah's joining us

0:17:10.400 --> 0:17:14.960
<v Speaker 1>as well. Angela has not seen her in nearly four years,

0:17:15.200 --> 0:17:20.760
<v Speaker 1>so this is pretty awesome. Oh she is well. Hello,

0:17:20.960 --> 0:17:26.280
<v Speaker 1>Mr Deborah. Welcome to the table, Mr Debora. Hi, thank

0:17:26.320 --> 0:17:34.280
<v Speaker 1>you for having me, well for coming. This is my family,

0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:39.080
<v Speaker 1>my family. Yes, Angela, how are you daughter? How are

0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:44.880
<v Speaker 1>you can sit over there beside Angela? Yes, So eight

0:17:44.960 --> 0:17:49.520
<v Speaker 1>years ago Angela began the emotional journey to find her

0:17:49.600 --> 0:18:09.960
<v Speaker 1>birth mother, Deborah, and she documented the whole process then waiting. Uh, god,

0:18:10.080 --> 0:18:13.240
<v Speaker 1>she's so pretty and she's so tall, and oh it's

0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:16.160
<v Speaker 1>a nervous way. I think I would have been a

0:18:16.200 --> 0:18:18.560
<v Speaker 1>different person if I would have grown up with the sister.

0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:29.119
<v Speaker 1>I have waited for twenty five years to thank Debra.

0:18:30.119 --> 0:18:34.479
<v Speaker 1>Thank you for sharing Antea. So I right away, of

0:18:34.480 --> 0:18:37.639
<v Speaker 1>course I wanted to thank her, and so we started

0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:41.600
<v Speaker 1>walking together and I was thanking her, but at the

0:18:41.640 --> 0:18:45.280
<v Speaker 1>same time she was thanking me. And I never thought

0:18:45.280 --> 0:18:48.280
<v Speaker 1>about that. She did her just a really hard thing.

0:18:48.960 --> 0:18:51.320
<v Speaker 1>She did something that I'm not sure I could do,

0:18:51.760 --> 0:18:56.280
<v Speaker 1>and I did something that she wasn't able to do. Wow,

0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:08.800
<v Speaker 1>it's beautiful. How are you feeling hurt? Yeah? I will

0:19:08.880 --> 0:19:14.920
<v Speaker 1>forever hurt the more I see her. The hard ideas. Now,

0:19:14.960 --> 0:19:17.760
<v Speaker 1>if I could go back and don't do my life,

0:19:18.240 --> 0:19:21.440
<v Speaker 1>No way that I will give away a child right

0:19:21.560 --> 0:19:24.880
<v Speaker 1>at that time, not having a home, not having a job.

0:19:25.119 --> 0:19:28.800
<v Speaker 1>Why to drag a child around right because you can't

0:19:28.840 --> 0:19:31.520
<v Speaker 1>take care of it. So you got to make her

0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:35.119
<v Speaker 1>strong with choice. So I went to a higher power

0:19:36.119 --> 0:19:39.840
<v Speaker 1>and I said, help me please. When I put Angela

0:19:39.920 --> 0:19:43.800
<v Speaker 1>up for adoption, that ended all my rights to know anything.

0:19:45.119 --> 0:19:48.480
<v Speaker 1>I had no idea about where Angela was. I had

0:19:48.520 --> 0:19:52.720
<v Speaker 1>no idea about transracial adoption. I was brought up into

0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:54.520
<v Speaker 1>that age. Why you didn't talk to white people, they

0:19:54.600 --> 0:19:59.200
<v Speaker 1>met talk to you. I was astonished. So, Teresa, where

0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:07.240
<v Speaker 1>you hesitant about Angela finding when I was younger? Yes? Yeah,

0:20:07.640 --> 0:20:15.840
<v Speaker 1>because I had this unreasonable fear that she might kind

0:20:15.840 --> 0:20:19.520
<v Speaker 1>of come and she'd be her mom. But I couldn't.

0:20:20.840 --> 0:20:23.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why, because you would be replaced, I

0:20:23.240 --> 0:20:27.760
<v Speaker 1>would be replaced yeah, I get it. Yeah. Yeah, but

0:20:29.400 --> 0:20:34.040
<v Speaker 1>Debora taught me that she's her mother different, I'm the

0:20:34.080 --> 0:20:36.920
<v Speaker 1>vessel that God used to put her here. Yeah. But

0:20:37.200 --> 0:20:40.840
<v Speaker 1>there's her parents right there. Yeah, And I am just

0:20:40.960 --> 0:20:45.760
<v Speaker 1>so proud of the young lady she is, what they've

0:20:45.760 --> 0:20:49.800
<v Speaker 1>taught her, how smart is. It's an overwhelming moment sitting

0:20:49.800 --> 0:20:55.080
<v Speaker 1>in between parents. Wow, Like everyone's so beautiful here, but

0:20:55.160 --> 0:20:57.560
<v Speaker 1>my eyes just want to like stare at Debora and

0:20:57.680 --> 0:20:59.720
<v Speaker 1>just because I'm still just trying to figure her out,

0:21:00.119 --> 0:21:07.080
<v Speaker 1>right and I still can't. We all know that you've

0:21:07.160 --> 0:21:15.120
<v Speaker 1>done the best that you can and that we truly

0:21:15.160 --> 0:21:17.399
<v Speaker 1>want you to feel like you're part of our family.

0:21:17.520 --> 0:21:19.720
<v Speaker 1>That you not being able to parent me doesn't mean

0:21:19.800 --> 0:21:22.560
<v Speaker 1>that you give up your rights to know who I am,

0:21:22.680 --> 0:21:26.480
<v Speaker 1>know how I'm doing. Thank you. I just need to

0:21:26.480 --> 0:21:31.240
<v Speaker 1>thank everyone at this table for allowing me to be here.

0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:34.760
<v Speaker 1>Absolutely well. I think it's just beautiful that we could

0:21:34.760 --> 0:21:38.600
<v Speaker 1>all sit here together for many different reasons and talk

0:21:38.640 --> 0:21:43.120
<v Speaker 1>about this specifically specific and the fact that these beautiful

0:21:43.160 --> 0:21:48.280
<v Speaker 1>people adopted and raised this beautiful woman and we're open

0:21:48.400 --> 0:21:51.119
<v Speaker 1>enough to come and speak to us about it and

0:21:52.400 --> 0:21:56.280
<v Speaker 1>crossing those racial barriers and even though this is a

0:21:56.400 --> 0:22:01.080
<v Speaker 1>learning process. But love is love, right, Love is love

0:22:01.640 --> 0:22:04.159
<v Speaker 1>and this just shows you right here. This has been

0:22:04.200 --> 0:22:14.080
<v Speaker 1>one of my favorite episodes. Yeah hey, r T T family.

0:22:14.480 --> 0:22:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Join our Red Table Talk group on Facebook to become

0:22:17.119 --> 0:22:20.960
<v Speaker 1>part of the conversation and be sure to follow the

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<v Speaker 1>show page to catch up on all our episodes. This

0:22:24.880 --> 0:22:34.440
<v Speaker 1>is our new family, family, Thank you. There's so much

0:22:34.520 --> 0:22:38.240
<v Speaker 1>going on behind the scenes. It's a journey. Are you

0:22:38.280 --> 0:22:41.560
<v Speaker 1>ready to go? Yeah, I'm broken, broken an give me

0:22:41.600 --> 0:22:49.919
<v Speaker 1>some lovening. To join the Red Table Talk family and

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<v Speaker 1>dot com slash red table Talk. Thanks for listening to

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