WEBVTT - Marry a Younger Man with Caroline Stanbury

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<v Speaker 1>It's I Do Part two and I'm Jenny Garth, one

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<v Speaker 1>of your hosts, and today I'm going to jump in

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<v Speaker 1>with a fascinating woman that has really refined what leveling

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<v Speaker 1>up can look like in your chapter two. You know

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<v Speaker 1>her from Bravo shows Ladies of London and the Real

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<v Speaker 1>Housewives of Dubai. She also hosts the podcast Uncut and

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<v Speaker 1>Uncensored and she is leading some incredible women's retreats that

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<v Speaker 1>I can't wait to hear about. So please welcome Caroline

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<v Speaker 1>Stanbury to the podcast. So, Caroline, you know, on this

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<v Speaker 1>podcast we talk all about finding love again, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>whether it's after been a whether it's been after a

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<v Speaker 1>divorce or a loss of a spouse whatever. But for

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<v Speaker 1>our listeners, can you just kind of like rewind and

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<v Speaker 1>tell us a little bit about your major relationship milestones

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<v Speaker 1>that you've gone through. And yeah, I think we should

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<v Speaker 1>start with that.

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<v Speaker 2>I mean, I think you know, as a divorced woman,

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<v Speaker 2>I was married for eighteen years. I've got I had

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<v Speaker 2>three children. I think at that time they were probably

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<v Speaker 2>eight or nine when I got divorced, years old, and

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<v Speaker 2>I have twin boys. And then I had a daughter

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<v Speaker 2>that slightly she must have been twelve at the time.

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<v Speaker 2>And then I got divorced after eighteen years, and I

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<v Speaker 2>think after eighteen years you sort of lose yourself. I also,

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<v Speaker 2>at the same time managed to sort of lose my business, Yes,

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<v Speaker 2>get sued by a civil liquidata, and get divorced all

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<v Speaker 2>at the same time, me to twenty four year old

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<v Speaker 2>and marry him two years later. So I went all

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<v Speaker 2>the same year, no, well into three years. So yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it was two years that I married. Yeah, I got

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<v Speaker 2>divorced the same year I met my now husband and

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<v Speaker 2>two years later we married.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow.

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<v Speaker 2>So and the year before I got divorced was when

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<v Speaker 2>I was started to be sued. So and everybody said

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<v Speaker 2>to me, don't this is a crazy time to get divorced.

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<v Speaker 2>This is the worst time you could And I knew

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<v Speaker 2>if I stayed it would be for the wrong reasons.

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<v Speaker 2>It would be because I was scared of the financial

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<v Speaker 2>outcome all of these things. So I literally had the

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<v Speaker 2>weirdest story because none of it should work. I was

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<v Speaker 2>forty three and I met a twenty four year old

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<v Speaker 2>who had lied to me and said he was thirty one,

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<v Speaker 2>which was still too young. But I didn't visit myself

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<v Speaker 2>married to him either, and here we are, so yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>we're here. We're seven years on and I'm not living

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<v Speaker 2>under a rock or in a council house by myself.

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<v Speaker 2>So somehow it is just all worked out. And I

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<v Speaker 2>want to tell whoever's out there. And you know, going

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<v Speaker 2>through these things that if you push on through these

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<v Speaker 2>times and the times that you think you will not

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<v Speaker 2>make it, the other side's pretty darn good.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you mean when you push on through? Like

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<v Speaker 1>what did you resort to when it came to pushing

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<v Speaker 1>on through? Like what did you have to challenge yourself with?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I've given you a very very short version. I

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<v Speaker 2>was obviously, I was being sued, so at the same

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<v Speaker 2>time as getting divorced. You know, my ex husband hated

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<v Speaker 2>me obviously because I was marrying a twenty four year old.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh he wasn't fond of that idea.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah. No, So you're dividing your assets then, But also

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<v Speaker 2>when you're being sued, the only way you can get

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<v Speaker 2>rid of an asset is in a law case. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>if you're being you know, it's giving it to an

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<v Speaker 2>ex husband so or to a husband or to a spouse.

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<v Speaker 2>So you're in these terrible terrible situation where you know

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<v Speaker 2>that you need that money. Actually, I mean in the end,

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<v Speaker 2>I won my whole case, but like that was a

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<v Speaker 2>lot further on, and I thank you very much. I

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<v Speaker 2>had probably twenty five thousand dollars left to my entire name.

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<v Speaker 2>I had rent to pay, mortgage, to pay, three kids,

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<v Speaker 2>a twenty four year old who may as well be

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<v Speaker 2>in another dependent at that stage, and just didn't know

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<v Speaker 2>what I was going to do or how I was

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<v Speaker 2>going to do it. And I'm a very pragmatic, very

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<v Speaker 2>very you know, strong woman. I've always run everything. I

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<v Speaker 2>had eighty six employees. I was, you know, I'm a businesswoman.

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<v Speaker 2>I can normally solve everything, and this was just something

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<v Speaker 2>I just could not solve. I couldn't pay. I'd paid

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<v Speaker 2>one point one pounds to lawyers if any money left

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<v Speaker 2>to do it. I didn't have any money left from

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<v Speaker 2>anyone to get from anyone. I couldn't work because if

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<v Speaker 2>I went to work, I wasn't getting the money anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>The lawyers were, so you know, it doesn't make you

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<v Speaker 2>want to go to work because you're not earning it.

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<v Speaker 2>Someone else is taking it. So that I was as

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<v Speaker 2>at bottom as I think you could get like, I

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<v Speaker 2>really didn't see a way out. But you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>also knew going back wasn't an option for.

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<v Speaker 1>Me, right, you knew that. How did you feel about

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<v Speaker 1>going forward into a new relationship and really quickly a

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<v Speaker 1>new marriage, Like what was that process?

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<v Speaker 3>Like?

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<v Speaker 1>How did you bring yourself into that type of joy?

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<v Speaker 2>I mean it wasn't all joy. I mean I went

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<v Speaker 2>to hospital twice. I think with panic attacks, anyone's you know,

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<v Speaker 2>going into a new relationship after an old one, you

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<v Speaker 2>kind of panic anyway, and you're going, what am I doing?

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<v Speaker 2>You're in a complete On the one hand, it brings

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<v Speaker 2>joy and lightness. And what I realized was if I

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<v Speaker 2>am forget the new guy, And that's what I want

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<v Speaker 2>to say. It's not about the new man. I never

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<v Speaker 2>left for him, but I had met him at the

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<v Speaker 2>end of my marriage, right, And what I feel is

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<v Speaker 2>that if you can have those feelings for someone else

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<v Speaker 2>and you're getting more, you know, this kind of joy

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<v Speaker 2>and feelings, then your other relationship isn't the one you

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<v Speaker 2>should have been in. You can't steal someone that doesn't

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<v Speaker 2>want to be stolen. I have plenty of marriage friends

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<v Speaker 2>whose husbands definitely wouldn't you know, jump because I said,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, let's go. It doesn't happen like that. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>it's one of you has to be get a ball.

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<v Speaker 2>And I think, you know, what I realized was it

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<v Speaker 2>wouldn't be fair to stay in my marriage because I,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, didn't feel like I was feeling with him anymore.

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<v Speaker 2>Regardless whether you know, my twenty four year old stayed

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<v Speaker 2>or not.

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<v Speaker 1>How did you know it was time to get out

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<v Speaker 1>of your marriage.

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<v Speaker 2>When I was happy at out the house than in it.

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<v Speaker 1>Ah, that's that's yeah, that's truth right there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, And it's it's as simple as that. I got

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<v Speaker 2>asked that question all the time because I used to

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<v Speaker 2>have a podcast called Divorce Not Dead, which is now

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<v Speaker 2>uncut and uncensored, and I named it Divorce not Dead

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<v Speaker 2>because everyone goes, oh, I'm so sorry, and actually, no,

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<v Speaker 2>don't be sorry. I left, you know, and I left

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<v Speaker 2>for good reason. And actually, you know, it doesn't matter

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<v Speaker 2>how big your house is. I don't care how many

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<v Speaker 2>bedrooms you've got and how many and staff and everything

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<v Speaker 2>like this. If you don't love being in it, and

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<v Speaker 2>you don't love the person that you built it with anymore,

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<v Speaker 2>then you know you may as well, it doesn't matter

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<v Speaker 2>if you live in this, you know, tiny room I'm

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<v Speaker 2>sitting in right now. I'd rather be in this if

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<v Speaker 2>you've got you know, the biggest wealth to me is peace.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, the biggest wealth is peace. That is very true.

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<v Speaker 1>I like that a lot. What what is your like?

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<v Speaker 1>How has that been co parenting with your three kids

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<v Speaker 1>with your access?

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<v Speaker 2>Well, now it's perfect. We went through We went through

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<v Speaker 2>helen back, you know obviously, like he's a Turkish man,

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<v Speaker 2>he runs a very big business. You know, I did

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<v Speaker 2>the worst, you know, like it's the most embarrassing thing

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<v Speaker 2>that can ever happen to a man. You know, lots

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<v Speaker 2>of women men leave for younger women. Name me a

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<v Speaker 2>man that you know that a woman that's left for

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<v Speaker 2>a younger man and it's worked out because normally it fails.

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<v Speaker 2>And then ever we go haha, silly, old fool, right,

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<v Speaker 2>and so they kind of wait for that, and mine

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<v Speaker 2>hasn't worked out like that, And so, you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>embarrassed him, and I get that. I can completely see it.

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<v Speaker 2>So it took a long time, but he's a very

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<v Speaker 2>good man, and I think now he realizes we're all

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<v Speaker 2>in the right place, good and our kids are particularly

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<v Speaker 2>happy and we manage you know, he's got a girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 2>And the beginning was very hard because I really try

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<v Speaker 2>to do the right thing, which was like, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>when he was so upset about you know, obviously I'd

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<v Speaker 2>be like, oh, we can still have breakfast together and

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<v Speaker 2>dinners together. Well that's ridiculous. No, you can't. You can't

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<v Speaker 2>do that. You have to cut.

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<v Speaker 1>Cut tis you think that's the key, cut it key's

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<v Speaker 1>That's where for me too, Like I have to actually

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<v Speaker 1>like delete the contact, like I don't even want to

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<v Speaker 1>see the name.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean I don't mind as much as that,

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<v Speaker 2>but I mean to keep any normalcy, cannot you know,

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<v Speaker 2>because you're actually lying to yourself, the kids and the

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<v Speaker 2>everything else. You just have to rip the off. I

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<v Speaker 2>have other friends of mine that were like they kept

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<v Speaker 2>their boyfriends or lovers or the people that they were seeing,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, even like after they've got separated from the

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<v Speaker 2>husbands so away from the children for like a year,

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<v Speaker 2>and they've been going out, you know, going out at nights,

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<v Speaker 2>staying in hotels, making their lives uncomfortable, and actually a

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<v Speaker 2>year and a half two years later, the reaction from

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<v Speaker 2>the kids is exactly as the same as mine was

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<v Speaker 2>day one, except mine's over and now they've got to

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<v Speaker 2>relive it, and they've you know, they still haven't really

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<v Speaker 2>moved on and had their life, because they're sneaking around

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<v Speaker 2>at night like they're having an affair anyway, even though

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<v Speaker 2>they're not.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you, I too, am married to a younger man

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<v Speaker 1>and I two have three daughters, three kids, so I

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<v Speaker 1>can really relate. I was, Yeah, I was ready for

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<v Speaker 1>something new, and I knew I was at a point

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<v Speaker 1>in my life that I needed like energy and laughter

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<v Speaker 1>and that zest for life, you know. And I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like that he brought that into our home during a

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<v Speaker 1>kind of because it happened very quickly for me as well,

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<v Speaker 1>that we met and got married, and it was just

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<v Speaker 1>like this is this feels good. This felt good to me,

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<v Speaker 1>this felt good to the girls. So I kind of

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<v Speaker 1>felt like this is the right thing. So I just

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<v Speaker 1>kept going with and listening to my instincts. That's all

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<v Speaker 1>you can do. I think that's it.

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<v Speaker 2>It's the instinct and the thing is I mean, you know, look,

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<v Speaker 2>obviously I do a different type of reality TV and

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<v Speaker 2>you do. But it's still a weird life for any

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<v Speaker 2>normal man, right.

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<v Speaker 1>Was he accustomed to that world your new husband, Sergia.

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<v Speaker 2>No, he was a soccer player, so you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>mean he's accustomed to obviously a bit of a crazy

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<v Speaker 2>world because in real Madrid at seventeen, he had like,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, a lot of fans and things like this, right,

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<v Speaker 2>but no with cameras and living under a microscope and

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<v Speaker 2>also the horrible things I mean is, you know, people

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<v Speaker 2>love to write about you, especially if you're good looking.

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<v Speaker 2>And now he's with an older woman, so that must

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<v Speaker 2>be crazy. I'm that bought him, or he's gay and

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<v Speaker 2>all of these you heard it all, but yes, everything,

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<v Speaker 2>so but you know, I'm sure you I thought about

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<v Speaker 2>it long and hard. Like an older man my age

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<v Speaker 2>or old it wouldn't want the life I lead, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>all the open you know, the constant scrutiny from people,

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<v Speaker 2>and all of this, and I think you know, as

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<v Speaker 2>you said, the one thing that hit home as well,

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<v Speaker 2>it's just the laughter. I have everything else. I can

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<v Speaker 2>make everything else work, but I need to giggle, and

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<v Speaker 2>I need to like have my friend and we just

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<v Speaker 2>I wasn't friends with my ex, right.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh and that's the best feeling too, when you find

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<v Speaker 1>your new best friend that you just can't get enough

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<v Speaker 1>of and you want to stay with and just deal

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<v Speaker 1>all of your life with. I mean, it's exciting. It

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<v Speaker 1>brings us great excitement into your world. And I'm so

0:11:44.240 --> 0:11:47.480
<v Speaker 1>happy you found that you you got married six years ago,

0:11:47.559 --> 0:11:51.679
<v Speaker 1>is that right? A? Yeah, six years, six years ago,

0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:57.760
<v Speaker 1>and your husband you said, is a professional soccer player. Yeah,

0:11:57.840 --> 0:11:59.920
<v Speaker 1>that's very exciting, and I'm sure, yeah, all the hell

0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:04.200
<v Speaker 1>lines must have been bananas with with this whole situation.

0:12:05.160 --> 0:12:06.920
<v Speaker 2>Sex slave was sex slave.

0:12:08.040 --> 0:12:09.480
<v Speaker 1>I never heave that one.

0:12:09.760 --> 0:12:12.640
<v Speaker 2>I rented him. I don't even know how you do

0:12:12.679 --> 0:12:14.680
<v Speaker 2>that for that many years, but okay, I would rent

0:12:14.720 --> 0:12:18.480
<v Speaker 2>him if I could. Yeah, just loads of things, right,

0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:21.200
<v Speaker 2>which is really insulting to women, by the way, because

0:12:21.440 --> 0:12:23.719
<v Speaker 2>you know, men do this the whole time, all unders time.

0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:25.880
<v Speaker 2>Why it's so shocking. I'm like, you know, I'm such

0:12:25.920 --> 0:12:28.080
<v Speaker 2>a troll that no younger guy would want to be

0:12:28.160 --> 0:12:30.560
<v Speaker 2>with me. I don't get it. Were great. Older women

0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:33.720
<v Speaker 2>are amazing, amazing, amazing because we have so.

0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:37.040
<v Speaker 1>Much knowledge now and we've been through so many things,

0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:40.360
<v Speaker 1>and I think we've grown so much because you know,

0:12:40.400 --> 0:12:43.240
<v Speaker 1>and then also you, I think you're around the kind

0:12:43.240 --> 0:12:45.800
<v Speaker 1>of the age that I was when I know a

0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:49.959
<v Speaker 1>little bit different, but you take stock in what's important

0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:52.160
<v Speaker 1>in your life because you've had the experience of what

0:12:52.240 --> 0:12:54.480
<v Speaker 1>didn't work and what didn't feel right and what didn't

0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:58.000
<v Speaker 1>feel good, and you don't there's no going back to

0:12:58.040 --> 0:12:59.560
<v Speaker 1>that once you've gotten through it.

0:13:00.760 --> 0:13:02.800
<v Speaker 2>No, you know exactly what you want, and I think,

0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:05.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, like I look at younger girls and friends

0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:07.920
<v Speaker 2>of his that are dating younger girls, and I'm he

0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:10.360
<v Speaker 2>rolls his eyes, like, you know, I've lost my passport?

0:13:10.400 --> 0:13:12.360
<v Speaker 2>Can you fix this? You know? They you know, it's

0:13:12.440 --> 0:13:14.199
<v Speaker 2>like everything, Oh, I just want a credit card to

0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:17.120
<v Speaker 2>go to amez. You know, that's that's it. It's like

0:13:17.160 --> 0:13:20.720
<v Speaker 2>they haven't there's no chat, there's no there's no confidence,

0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:24.520
<v Speaker 2>there's no like they're always waiting around for them and

0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:28.120
<v Speaker 2>the guy and everything's on him to do. Whereas you know,

0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:31.640
<v Speaker 2>I think I have such a big life already set

0:13:31.720 --> 0:13:34.800
<v Speaker 2>up that's so exciting. You know, you can go, you

0:13:34.840 --> 0:13:37.000
<v Speaker 2>can follow it, you can not follow it, you can

0:13:37.040 --> 0:13:39.480
<v Speaker 2>do It's just every day something's new.

0:13:50.520 --> 0:13:54.040
<v Speaker 1>That first year that you got married remarried and you

0:13:54.080 --> 0:13:57.319
<v Speaker 1>did it quickly? Did were you ever? Was there a

0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:58.800
<v Speaker 1>point where you're like, oh my god, what did I

0:13:58.840 --> 0:14:01.480
<v Speaker 1>just do? Was there ever a point like maybe this

0:14:01.640 --> 0:14:03.600
<v Speaker 1>was a mistake, Maybe I rushed into this.

0:14:04.160 --> 0:14:06.959
<v Speaker 2>No, I mean not when I got married. I think

0:14:07.080 --> 0:14:10.960
<v Speaker 2>you know, after after he kept pushing, No before sorry,

0:14:11.080 --> 0:14:14.360
<v Speaker 2>when he kept pushing before, I was like, Okay, everyone

0:14:14.400 --> 0:14:16.880
<v Speaker 2>told me he was love bombing me. This couldn't be true.

0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:19.000
<v Speaker 2>You know, all my friends that have been married eighteen

0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:21.880
<v Speaker 2>years or whatever, they were like, you know, in all

0:14:21.960 --> 0:14:25.160
<v Speaker 2>due respect, you're really great, but like, this is very weird.

0:14:25.200 --> 0:14:27.800
<v Speaker 2>This guy's flown halfway across the world to live with you.

0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:29.960
<v Speaker 2>He wants to be with your kids, you know, all

0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:33.280
<v Speaker 2>of these things. And then you start overthinking, and you're going,

0:14:33.280 --> 0:14:36.200
<v Speaker 2>maybe I'm wrong, Maybe I'm the silly old idiot, you're right.

0:14:36.320 --> 0:14:38.040
<v Speaker 2>And then I ended up having As I said, I

0:14:38.080 --> 0:14:42.160
<v Speaker 2>hospitalized my twelve myself twice. I was in my hair

0:14:42.200 --> 0:14:47.080
<v Speaker 2>salon in La and it was Nikki Lee, Nikki Lee.

0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:49.360
<v Speaker 2>I had to be taken out literally my ambulance with

0:14:49.400 --> 0:14:51.280
<v Speaker 2>the things in my hair. And I waited three months

0:14:51.320 --> 0:14:53.520
<v Speaker 2>for that, and I was going, now I was going

0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:56.960
<v Speaker 2>to leave with them. In another appointment. She goes, She's like,

0:14:57.080 --> 0:14:59.080
<v Speaker 2>take them out, we'll do it again tomorrow.

0:14:59.160 --> 0:15:00.280
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, you know.

0:15:00.360 --> 0:15:02.160
<v Speaker 2>And then I'm going, oh my god, what have I done?

0:15:02.200 --> 0:15:04.360
<v Speaker 2>You know, I've blown up my whole fucking life and

0:15:04.400 --> 0:15:06.240
<v Speaker 2>I can't go back to What am I going to do?

0:15:06.360 --> 0:15:06.560
<v Speaker 3>You know?

0:15:06.600 --> 0:15:09.760
<v Speaker 2>And then of course you do think everyone's right. I

0:15:09.800 --> 0:15:11.600
<v Speaker 2>can't be the only one that thinks this is a

0:15:11.600 --> 0:15:13.880
<v Speaker 2>good idea. And no one thought this was a good idea,

0:15:14.120 --> 0:15:16.280
<v Speaker 2>you know, and everyone goes, he's going to leave you,

0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:18.240
<v Speaker 2>He's going to leave you. And then I was like,

0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:19.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, then I just woke up and I was like, well,

0:15:19.960 --> 0:15:21.800
<v Speaker 2>what do I care? Okay, it's going to leave me.

0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:25.000
<v Speaker 2>Great exactly, myke'x husband could leave me tomorrow. So so

0:15:25.160 --> 0:15:28.320
<v Speaker 2>what It's fine, You'll be fine. I'll be fine.

0:15:28.400 --> 0:15:30.760
<v Speaker 1>And isn't that the best feeling? Like as a woman,

0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:34.360
<v Speaker 1>you stand on your own. It doesn't matter who comes,

0:15:34.360 --> 0:15:37.640
<v Speaker 1>who goes, who joins in with you, who enjoys, you know,

0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:41.400
<v Speaker 1>the ups and downs of your wild life, because it's

0:15:41.440 --> 0:15:43.640
<v Speaker 1>your life and you're living it. And you know, I

0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:46.680
<v Speaker 1>had I reached that point where because I was very

0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:51.040
<v Speaker 1>much more attached to staying and security of the family

0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:53.160
<v Speaker 1>and I didn't want to break it up, you know,

0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:55.720
<v Speaker 1>things to check where you're married. I was married for

0:15:55.800 --> 0:16:00.240
<v Speaker 1>seventeen years. Also, oh, similar to you story. Yeah, so

0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:01.880
<v Speaker 1>but I wasn't.

0:16:03.200 --> 0:16:03.520
<v Speaker 2>I don't know.

0:16:03.640 --> 0:16:06.320
<v Speaker 1>I just I come from a different background. I think

0:16:06.400 --> 0:16:07.840
<v Speaker 1>has a lot to do with it where you stay

0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.920
<v Speaker 1>married and so that was really hard for me. But

0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:19.480
<v Speaker 1>afterwards it was, you know, the realization that because once

0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:22.640
<v Speaker 1>you attach once you like cling onto something and don't

0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:25.560
<v Speaker 1>want it to end, or don't want a situation to change.

0:16:26.000 --> 0:16:29.200
<v Speaker 1>Once it finally turns the corner and you make that change,

0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:32.120
<v Speaker 1>you make that adjustment, you kind of look back and think, look,

0:16:32.240 --> 0:16:34.920
<v Speaker 1>look what I just did, Like, I can do anything.

0:16:35.000 --> 0:16:40.520
<v Speaker 1>I can get through that. What's next? And you meet

0:16:40.560 --> 0:16:45.480
<v Speaker 1>a younger guy, he leaves you, So what here I

0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:46.840
<v Speaker 1>am again with myself.

0:16:46.960 --> 0:16:49.320
<v Speaker 2>In the meantime, we're having great sex, having fun. We've

0:16:49.320 --> 0:16:52.400
<v Speaker 2>rediscovered ourselves. Like you know, I like, at the end

0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.640
<v Speaker 2>of most relationships off to that long you think you're

0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:57.080
<v Speaker 2>a sexual, you think you don't even like sex anymore.

0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:58.560
<v Speaker 2>You're like, Okay, I'll live without it for the rest

0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:00.480
<v Speaker 2>of my life. Yeah, maybe I should try, but yeah,

0:17:00.760 --> 0:17:04.680
<v Speaker 2>you never know, didn't go there yet, but you never know.

0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:05.800
<v Speaker 2>You never know.

0:17:06.040 --> 0:17:08.520
<v Speaker 1>My daughter just told me last night we were watching it. Oh,

0:17:08.640 --> 0:17:11.320
<v Speaker 1>somebody got married that she knows two women and she

0:17:11.480 --> 0:17:13.560
<v Speaker 1>was watching their wedding on a video and she's like, Wow,

0:17:13.680 --> 0:17:18.359
<v Speaker 1>that just looks so nice, so romantic, so beautiful. Everybody

0:17:18.400 --> 0:17:22.680
<v Speaker 1>gets wear dresses, well, solways, an option bed, whatever you want.

0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:26.240
<v Speaker 2>Eventually, exactly if I come from the same elk, like

0:17:26.400 --> 0:17:28.720
<v Speaker 2>you know, there was no divorce in my family. My

0:17:28.880 --> 0:17:31.320
<v Speaker 2>mother's initial reaction is get back in there and you

0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.320
<v Speaker 2>stick it out, right, And then you know, I thought

0:17:34.359 --> 0:17:38.000
<v Speaker 2>to myself, stick it out. I'm turning, you know, forty

0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:41.760
<v Speaker 2>at that time, forty five. I'm like, stick it out.

0:17:41.800 --> 0:17:44.399
<v Speaker 2>I've got another fifty years. Yeah, you're not going to

0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:46.359
<v Speaker 2>die tomorrow. You don't want to live the rest of

0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.639
<v Speaker 2>your life and lightless? Right? No, for what reason? And

0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:50.920
<v Speaker 2>then live a lie?

0:17:51.160 --> 0:17:52.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sticking it out sounds awful.

0:17:53.119 --> 0:17:55.200
<v Speaker 2>Lots of people do it and live the lie like

0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:59.840
<v Speaker 2>they have extramarital fairs which they keep to keep their family.

0:18:00.640 --> 0:18:03.560
<v Speaker 2>And then you know, like I don't understand because I

0:18:03.600 --> 0:18:05.800
<v Speaker 2>always say some of the biggest lies are in the

0:18:05.920 --> 0:18:11.080
<v Speaker 2>longest marriages, and that isn't a relationship for me. I

0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:13.120
<v Speaker 2>don't want that. Like if I have to come home

0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:15.400
<v Speaker 2>and think about the lie that I've got to tell

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:17.600
<v Speaker 2>my husband every night so that he can sleep and

0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:19.560
<v Speaker 2>I can sleep, and I'm the only one not sleeping.

0:18:19.920 --> 0:18:21.879
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how people do it. I really, truly

0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:23.920
<v Speaker 2>do not know how you continue.

0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.840
<v Speaker 1>I honestly don't either. Like I, one man has plenty

0:18:26.920 --> 0:18:30.840
<v Speaker 1>for me to like to manage, and he says the

0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:32.600
<v Speaker 1>same thing about me, like, there's no way he could

0:18:32.640 --> 0:18:34.119
<v Speaker 1>have an affair because he just wouldn't be able to

0:18:34.119 --> 0:18:37.840
<v Speaker 1>handle having to women, because it's a lot of work

0:18:38.040 --> 0:18:41.119
<v Speaker 1>being in a relationship, you know, like keeping it good

0:18:41.240 --> 0:18:44.760
<v Speaker 1>and growing. What about Like so after you got married,

0:18:44.800 --> 0:18:47.479
<v Speaker 1>and I know this firsthand, there is a difference. There

0:18:47.600 --> 0:18:51.040
<v Speaker 1>is an age difference. And I didn't ever acknowledge that

0:18:51.560 --> 0:18:55.480
<v Speaker 1>early in my relationship with my husband. I thought, you know,

0:18:55.640 --> 0:18:58.560
<v Speaker 1>that's ridiculous, and I don't. I don't feel any difference.

0:18:58.640 --> 0:19:01.840
<v Speaker 1>But there have been and we've been married for ten years,

0:19:01.920 --> 0:19:05.120
<v Speaker 1>this was our tenure. We've you know, we've been through

0:19:05.200 --> 0:19:09.000
<v Speaker 1>some stuff where I've gone second guess myself and thought like, wow, okay,

0:19:10.040 --> 0:19:13.199
<v Speaker 1>is this because he just hasn't grown through this period

0:19:13.240 --> 0:19:17.000
<v Speaker 1>of his life. He hasn't come to these crossroads personally,

0:19:17.160 --> 0:19:20.080
<v Speaker 1>so he really can't, you know, relate on the way

0:19:20.200 --> 0:19:22.720
<v Speaker 1>I want or hope he will. I have to kind

0:19:22.800 --> 0:19:23.639
<v Speaker 1>of meet him where he.

0:19:23.800 --> 0:19:28.160
<v Speaker 2>Is all the time. Of course, sometimes I literally want

0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:32.959
<v Speaker 2>to throttle him, because sometimes he's a husband, an amazing husband.

0:19:33.040 --> 0:19:36.600
<v Speaker 2>Other times it's like having another son, you know, in

0:19:36.680 --> 0:19:39.159
<v Speaker 2>the weirdest possible in the nicest possible way without it

0:19:39.200 --> 0:19:39.640
<v Speaker 2>being weird.

0:19:40.040 --> 0:19:40.680
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

0:19:40.800 --> 0:19:43.679
<v Speaker 2>But you know it can be because I'm teaching him

0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:46.440
<v Speaker 2>at the same time. You know how he'd never lived

0:19:46.480 --> 0:19:49.480
<v Speaker 2>with a woman. You know, I've had many relationships where

0:19:49.480 --> 0:19:53.359
<v Speaker 2>I lived with someone, compromised with someone, understood what a

0:19:53.480 --> 0:19:55.280
<v Speaker 2>man has to do in the house. I'll do this,

0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:58.400
<v Speaker 2>you do that. You know, I'm teaching him from scratch,

0:19:59.080 --> 0:20:02.200
<v Speaker 2>so you know, of course sometimes you go, oh, oh

0:20:02.359 --> 0:20:05.879
<v Speaker 2>my god, you know, but everything. I mean, I remember

0:20:06.000 --> 0:20:08.359
<v Speaker 2>lying in bed going, oh, top Gun, can't wait, and

0:20:08.440 --> 0:20:10.879
<v Speaker 2>he goes, what's tops What do you mean? What do

0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:13.119
<v Speaker 2>you mean? What's top Gun? I was like, where on

0:20:13.440 --> 0:20:16.520
<v Speaker 2>earth were you? And he wasn't born. I know, I'm like,

0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:19.600
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, and I have to remind myself of

0:20:19.680 --> 0:20:21.920
<v Speaker 2>these things. So yes, well, I mean, I get asked

0:20:21.960 --> 0:20:25.959
<v Speaker 2>this all the time that the big thing is how

0:20:26.040 --> 0:20:29.640
<v Speaker 2>we split finances. Everybody wants to ask me, the sex thing.

0:20:29.960 --> 0:20:33.119
<v Speaker 2>Everybody wants to ask me, And I think, you know

0:20:33.320 --> 0:20:38.560
<v Speaker 2>exactly that the age difference, sometimes the maturity. But again,

0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:41.560
<v Speaker 2>what I do do to settle my own head and

0:20:41.720 --> 0:20:44.959
<v Speaker 2>not go I haven't made a giant mistake, is I go, oh,

0:20:45.040 --> 0:20:47.040
<v Speaker 2>look at my friend's husbands, every single one of them,

0:20:47.080 --> 0:20:48.600
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, no, it couldn't be with any of them,

0:20:48.840 --> 0:20:52.480
<v Speaker 2>not one, Nope, they're bitter. And then even just getting

0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:54.560
<v Speaker 2>on the phone to co parent with my ex husband

0:20:54.600 --> 0:20:57.440
<v Speaker 2>who now has a loving relationship and is in a

0:20:57.640 --> 0:20:59.679
<v Speaker 2>very good space and we get on quite well. Now,

0:21:00.200 --> 0:21:03.639
<v Speaker 2>you know, he still irritates that he bejeeves out of me,

0:21:03.760 --> 0:21:05.720
<v Speaker 2>like really drives me nuts. I'm like, he's a cup

0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:08.840
<v Speaker 2>is half empty person. You know, my son wanted to

0:21:08.880 --> 0:21:10.800
<v Speaker 2>go to Texas this year and he said, oh, I'm

0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:13.879
<v Speaker 2>flying to America or by himself twenty hours. What if

0:21:13.920 --> 0:21:16.399
<v Speaker 2>he gets sent home? I'm like, and you know, so

0:21:16.520 --> 0:21:18.560
<v Speaker 2>it's so different. And I'm like, well, if you get

0:21:18.600 --> 0:21:20.600
<v Speaker 2>so the worst case he doesn't get through the border

0:21:20.640 --> 0:21:22.880
<v Speaker 2>for whatever him, he's fifteen, Why wouldn't he get through

0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:26.119
<v Speaker 2>he's got an esther and and he's like, it's very

0:21:26.160 --> 0:21:27.960
<v Speaker 2>difficult to go to the States, And I'm like, okay,

0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:29.600
<v Speaker 2>so the very worst he gets, he gets all the

0:21:29.640 --> 0:21:30.879
<v Speaker 2>way there and has to come back. But if the

0:21:31.000 --> 0:21:33.680
<v Speaker 2>great otherwise he goes to Texas. This is amazing. Yeah.

0:21:33.760 --> 0:21:37.720
<v Speaker 2>So we're just totally different people. So I'm a doer

0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:39.879
<v Speaker 2>and he's a and I don't want to be in

0:21:39.880 --> 0:21:42.879
<v Speaker 2>a relationship where I'm where someone sees the rain, Where's

0:21:42.920 --> 0:21:45.440
<v Speaker 2>my husband sees a rainbow and wants to go dance

0:21:45.520 --> 0:21:45.920
<v Speaker 2>in the rain.

0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:51.800
<v Speaker 1>What a difference it is. That's I'm so happy for you.

0:21:52.440 --> 0:21:55.639
<v Speaker 1>Do you feel like do you ever have your mom's

0:21:55.680 --> 0:21:58.720
<v Speaker 1>a resentment though, where when you feel like you're kind

0:21:58.760 --> 0:22:01.480
<v Speaker 1>of living with a boy man?

0:22:02.520 --> 0:22:05.399
<v Speaker 2>Yes, yeah, of course I do. And I told I

0:22:05.480 --> 0:22:07.679
<v Speaker 2>tell him, you know, like you've got to step up

0:22:07.720 --> 0:22:10.080
<v Speaker 2>and do this way. How do they take that?

0:22:10.280 --> 0:22:13.400
<v Speaker 1>Like, I'm curious how he as a man takes these

0:22:13.520 --> 0:22:16.359
<v Speaker 1>kinds of like you teaching him lessons or him coming

0:22:16.440 --> 0:22:19.240
<v Speaker 1>up to the war and facing he does. He's very receptive. Okay,

0:22:19.280 --> 0:22:24.000
<v Speaker 1>that's very receptive. You're very that's very good, very receptive.

0:22:24.040 --> 0:22:26.239
<v Speaker 2>And actually we lean into some of the I mean,

0:22:26.359 --> 0:22:28.800
<v Speaker 2>it is quite funny sometimes to watch me because I

0:22:28.840 --> 0:22:30.919
<v Speaker 2>do forget, Like I'll tap him on the back if

0:22:30.920 --> 0:22:35.160
<v Speaker 2>I want him to straight, and it's like, oh my god,

0:22:35.240 --> 0:22:37.720
<v Speaker 2>it's a mom move and I forget, you know, like

0:22:38.359 --> 0:22:41.400
<v Speaker 2>and because my sons are massive too, by the way,

0:22:41.440 --> 0:22:43.879
<v Speaker 2>there's six foot so the three of them all behind me,

0:22:44.040 --> 0:22:47.040
<v Speaker 2>and they all borrow each other's clothes, and so I do.

0:22:47.320 --> 0:22:50.440
<v Speaker 2>It isn't lost on me. But you know, oh my god.

0:22:50.880 --> 0:22:52.720
<v Speaker 2>But like, you know, on the other hand, please I

0:22:52.760 --> 0:22:54.600
<v Speaker 2>don't want it to sound really weird. We do have

0:22:54.720 --> 0:22:58.440
<v Speaker 2>a husband wife relationship. What has he taught you to

0:22:59.200 --> 0:23:02.520
<v Speaker 2>relax through things so you know that it's never the

0:23:02.640 --> 0:23:06.640
<v Speaker 2>end of the world, like and the safety of first

0:23:06.640 --> 0:23:09.040
<v Speaker 2>of all, age, you know. I used to feel older

0:23:09.160 --> 0:23:11.240
<v Speaker 2>weirdly with my ex husband, Like if I got a

0:23:11.320 --> 0:23:13.560
<v Speaker 2>gray head, you know, grace when you're on a holiday

0:23:13.560 --> 0:23:14.880
<v Speaker 2>and you're like, oh my god, I need to find

0:23:14.960 --> 0:23:19.800
<v Speaker 2>you know, get my roots done, or you know, he

0:23:19.880 --> 0:23:22.600
<v Speaker 2>would tell me not on pobs, go a little bit

0:23:22.640 --> 0:23:25.280
<v Speaker 2>gray here or whatever. I would feel older. Where's my

0:23:25.800 --> 0:23:27.960
<v Speaker 2>husband now? Is Like we're traveling, He's like, oh, leave it.

0:23:28.040 --> 0:23:31.240
<v Speaker 2>I love it, you know, it's so weird. The thing

0:23:31.359 --> 0:23:33.639
<v Speaker 2>is he helps me in so many ways, right with

0:23:33.760 --> 0:23:38.399
<v Speaker 2>the kids, my businesses, so I do these even like

0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:41.479
<v Speaker 2>the women's retreats. I wasn't. I started doing women's retreats

0:23:41.520 --> 0:23:44.600
<v Speaker 2>and I teach financial independence and I teach women life

0:23:44.640 --> 0:23:48.320
<v Speaker 2>after divorce and investing and things like this, which is

0:23:48.400 --> 0:23:49.920
<v Speaker 2>really fun. And I wasn't going to have him, but

0:23:49.960 --> 0:23:52.679
<v Speaker 2>I one of my because I didn't think it was appropriate, right,

0:23:52.880 --> 0:23:55.240
<v Speaker 2>one of the camera guys couldn't come, And then he

0:23:55.400 --> 0:23:57.800
<v Speaker 2>did it all and then the women just loved having

0:23:57.880 --> 0:24:00.000
<v Speaker 2>him there. And he's not in the room when we're

0:24:00.080 --> 0:24:01.840
<v Speaker 2>doing all our talks and everything, but he was on

0:24:02.480 --> 0:24:05.680
<v Speaker 2>the island, and you know, he just he's my partner,

0:24:06.000 --> 0:24:08.360
<v Speaker 2>so like and because he's my husband, all the money

0:24:08.440 --> 0:24:11.560
<v Speaker 2>goes to the same pot obviously, and we're running around

0:24:11.640 --> 0:24:14.399
<v Speaker 2>doing things together, which means I don't travel alone. And

0:24:14.520 --> 0:24:17.200
<v Speaker 2>he's just taught me that life. I would have told

0:24:17.240 --> 0:24:20.520
<v Speaker 2>you there's no way on earth I would have worked

0:24:20.560 --> 0:24:22.400
<v Speaker 2>with my ex husband ever ever.

0:24:22.760 --> 0:24:24.960
<v Speaker 1>Why it would have just been too frictious.

0:24:26.040 --> 0:24:28.720
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because I had a very big business before, and

0:24:28.840 --> 0:24:30.880
<v Speaker 2>I felt like, you know, he would have we would

0:24:30.880 --> 0:24:33.120
<v Speaker 2>always we were quite competitive with the money we earned

0:24:33.200 --> 0:24:35.040
<v Speaker 2>and all of these kind of things. And you know,

0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:39.280
<v Speaker 2>and then because he came in as younger and came

0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:42.000
<v Speaker 2>into my already built train, I feel like he was

0:24:42.119 --> 0:24:44.560
<v Speaker 2>more able to pick up the slack and do the

0:24:44.600 --> 0:24:48.000
<v Speaker 2>bits I couldn't do. And that now we're just a team.

0:24:48.200 --> 0:24:51.080
<v Speaker 2>You're a part the other partner partnership. So if he

0:24:51.200 --> 0:24:54.120
<v Speaker 2>does this, and if he's doing the work, then great,

0:24:54.160 --> 0:24:55.680
<v Speaker 2>and I've got the kids, or he's got the kids

0:24:55.720 --> 0:24:58.040
<v Speaker 2>and I'm doing the work. But somehow it's all working

0:24:58.240 --> 0:24:59.879
<v Speaker 2>right at the same time, and we're doing all the

0:25:00.080 --> 0:25:02.440
<v Speaker 2>businesses together, and we're traveling together. Because that was the

0:25:02.520 --> 0:25:05.560
<v Speaker 2>other thing, the distance. I think. You know, my ex

0:25:05.640 --> 0:25:08.639
<v Speaker 2>husband traveled for work, then I traveled for work, so

0:25:08.760 --> 0:25:11.119
<v Speaker 2>then you know, we just became there was such a disconnect.

0:25:11.200 --> 0:25:13.000
<v Speaker 2>Our friends were different. I wanted to be with my

0:25:13.040 --> 0:25:16.520
<v Speaker 2>girlfriends all the time. You know, my husband is my girlfriend,

0:25:16.520 --> 0:25:19.159
<v Speaker 2>and he loves being with my girlfriends. So it's just

0:25:19.320 --> 0:25:22.200
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, He's taught me so many things, you know,

0:25:22.960 --> 0:25:26.280
<v Speaker 2>so many things it's really hard to explain, just to chill,

0:25:26.800 --> 0:25:29.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, to enjoy work rather than just like I've

0:25:29.320 --> 0:25:32.639
<v Speaker 2>got to go to work. You know. I love that.

0:25:32.800 --> 0:25:34.920
<v Speaker 1>It sounds like he's sort of brought you to like

0:25:35.000 --> 0:25:38.160
<v Speaker 1>a place of being able to sort of step back

0:25:38.160 --> 0:25:41.440
<v Speaker 1>and smell the roses and like have peace with yourself.

0:25:42.080 --> 0:25:44.160
<v Speaker 2>Well, you know when they say the work life balance,

0:25:44.320 --> 0:25:46.359
<v Speaker 2>come on, there isn't one rights not for.

0:25:46.440 --> 0:25:46.840
<v Speaker 3>What we do.

0:25:47.119 --> 0:25:52.120
<v Speaker 2>That's a lie. That's how Yeah, Like, if you're filming

0:25:52.280 --> 0:25:55.280
<v Speaker 2>for three months, how do you separate work in life?

0:25:55.359 --> 0:25:57.840
<v Speaker 2>You can't that it work is your life, right, So

0:25:58.000 --> 0:26:00.760
<v Speaker 2>the only way you can make it work is if

0:26:00.880 --> 0:26:04.080
<v Speaker 2>your life comes with you or your whole life is.

0:26:04.440 --> 0:26:07.600
<v Speaker 2>So that's that's what I feel like. My whole life

0:26:08.320 --> 0:26:10.600
<v Speaker 2>is in this house and this is where I walk.

0:26:10.600 --> 0:26:11.359
<v Speaker 2>I went from home.

0:26:13.080 --> 0:26:16.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, if he's happy with coming along with you and

0:26:16.440 --> 0:26:19.000
<v Speaker 1>being a part of your big life, then.

0:26:19.600 --> 0:26:20.080
<v Speaker 2>Go for it.

0:26:20.200 --> 0:26:29.879
<v Speaker 1>Like more power to you. That's amazing. Hey guys, it's

0:26:29.920 --> 0:26:30.400
<v Speaker 1>Cheryl Burke.

0:26:30.440 --> 0:26:32.399
<v Speaker 3>Okay, So I have to put you onto these leggings

0:26:32.440 --> 0:26:35.119
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0:26:35.200 --> 0:26:38.160
<v Speaker 3>called Tona and get this, the designer behind them also

0:26:38.280 --> 0:26:42.080
<v Speaker 3>created Lululemon, so they know exactly what they're doing. These

0:26:42.200 --> 0:26:46.480
<v Speaker 3>leggings are next level, think buttery soft, super flattering and

0:26:46.680 --> 0:26:50.520
<v Speaker 3>very comfortable. Also, they are supportive in all the right places.

0:26:50.960 --> 0:26:52.840
<v Speaker 3>I started worrying them for when I take my dog

0:26:52.920 --> 0:26:55.720
<v Speaker 3>on walks, but now I'm basically living in them. And

0:26:55.800 --> 0:26:58.320
<v Speaker 3>here's what makes them even better. Every pair you buy

0:26:58.440 --> 0:27:01.080
<v Speaker 3>helps fund a mental health counsel session for a teen

0:27:01.240 --> 0:27:04.240
<v Speaker 3>in need. Tona's on a mission to end teen suicide

0:27:04.280 --> 0:27:07.320
<v Speaker 3>and self harm, which we think is so important and incredible,

0:27:07.760 --> 0:27:10.200
<v Speaker 3>and we've partnered with Tona to give you twenty percent

0:27:10.280 --> 0:27:13.440
<v Speaker 3>off your order and free shipping. So head to tona

0:27:13.600 --> 0:27:16.760
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0:27:16.800 --> 0:27:17.840
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0:27:20.040 --> 0:27:21.960
<v Speaker 1>I want to know more about the women's retreats though.

0:27:22.680 --> 0:27:24.879
<v Speaker 1>This is intriguing to me. I think I think I

0:27:24.960 --> 0:27:27.440
<v Speaker 1>heard you have one coming up in November. Yes, no

0:27:27.720 --> 0:27:29.120
<v Speaker 1>care tell tell.

0:27:30.119 --> 0:27:32.840
<v Speaker 2>So it kind of started by actually I told you

0:27:32.920 --> 0:27:35.040
<v Speaker 2>I had this podcast called Divorce Not Dead, which I

0:27:35.200 --> 0:27:37.879
<v Speaker 2>changed because it was so niche, but actually I probably

0:27:37.880 --> 0:27:40.720
<v Speaker 2>shouldn't have changed the name. I love it anyways, So

0:27:40.800 --> 0:27:43.120
<v Speaker 2>I just thought I used to get written to all

0:27:43.200 --> 0:27:46.200
<v Speaker 2>the time, like how you know the transition through divorce

0:27:46.320 --> 0:27:50.520
<v Speaker 2>and women? I know very very wealthy women or not

0:27:50.640 --> 0:27:53.280
<v Speaker 2>wealthy women. Women that were married to very wealthy men,

0:27:54.040 --> 0:27:56.320
<v Speaker 2>you know, And there's always sort of this smugness about

0:27:56.359 --> 0:27:59.320
<v Speaker 2>wealthy women who've married well, and they go, you know

0:27:59.359 --> 0:28:01.639
<v Speaker 2>when I'm fine, Well, you know you're not not unless

0:28:01.640 --> 0:28:03.879
<v Speaker 2>he's put in your account. So let me just tell

0:28:03.920 --> 0:28:06.920
<v Speaker 2>you that right now. And you know, it's amazing how

0:28:07.000 --> 0:28:12.119
<v Speaker 2>poor they are the day you get divorced. So no,

0:28:12.359 --> 0:28:14.200
<v Speaker 2>beyond true. And I trust me. I live in the

0:28:14.200 --> 0:28:16.960
<v Speaker 2>Middle East. I see it every day. I'm sure literally

0:28:17.040 --> 0:28:20.399
<v Speaker 2>every day mine. It's nuts and they end up with nothing.

0:28:20.920 --> 0:28:22.919
<v Speaker 2>And I had like a girlfriend of mine, she had

0:28:23.080 --> 0:28:25.840
<v Speaker 2>seventeen homes before she was married. She was she was

0:28:25.880 --> 0:28:28.560
<v Speaker 2>married twenty years. She got nothing. She doesn't even know

0:28:28.560 --> 0:28:31.960
<v Speaker 2>ow an apartment. I mean, it's insane. So the little

0:28:32.000 --> 0:28:35.000
<v Speaker 2>money she did get, you know, the little money she

0:28:35.040 --> 0:28:37.280
<v Speaker 2>did get, now she sits on it in the bank

0:28:37.440 --> 0:28:40.200
<v Speaker 2>right because she's too scared. She's like, it's all I've got.

0:28:40.400 --> 0:28:42.000
<v Speaker 2>She does want to let it go. And that is

0:28:42.040 --> 0:28:45.280
<v Speaker 2>a understandable woman. And I think women have to understand

0:28:45.320 --> 0:28:48.240
<v Speaker 2>because I run meant multiple businesses and they come out

0:28:48.320 --> 0:28:50.440
<v Speaker 2>all the time. So I have a project in Bali,

0:28:50.520 --> 0:28:53.640
<v Speaker 2>I have the podcast, I have you know, airbnbs here,

0:28:53.720 --> 0:28:56.000
<v Speaker 2>I built the house. But this is this is by

0:28:56.040 --> 0:28:59.360
<v Speaker 2>the way, after four years of like almost going bankrupt, right,

0:28:59.360 --> 0:29:01.440
<v Speaker 2>I built all the back. I don't know how if

0:29:01.480 --> 0:29:04.440
<v Speaker 2>I really think about it. But that's why I started

0:29:04.480 --> 0:29:07.960
<v Speaker 2>these retreats, because if I had been scared for a minute,

0:29:08.120 --> 0:29:10.200
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't have been able to do or build the

0:29:10.280 --> 0:29:14.720
<v Speaker 2>wealth I have back at all. But and I don't

0:29:14.800 --> 0:29:17.680
<v Speaker 2>know why I wasn't scared, but only that and the

0:29:17.760 --> 0:29:19.640
<v Speaker 2>other way, you have no choice. If you don't go

0:29:19.760 --> 0:29:21.240
<v Speaker 2>on and build it, what are you gonna do. You're

0:29:21.240 --> 0:29:23.880
<v Speaker 2>gonna sit on the piddly little amount you've got left

0:29:23.960 --> 0:29:26.200
<v Speaker 2>and just wait for someone to pay you a salary.

0:29:26.600 --> 0:29:28.840
<v Speaker 2>You have to make your money work for you today

0:29:29.520 --> 0:29:31.600
<v Speaker 2>or you'll always work for somebody.

0:29:31.960 --> 0:29:32.400
<v Speaker 1>That's right.

0:29:32.720 --> 0:29:36.320
<v Speaker 2>And that's it. And I'm thinking about I'm fifty. I

0:29:36.440 --> 0:29:38.400
<v Speaker 2>need passive income when you need to care.

0:29:38.480 --> 0:29:41.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you need that security because no one's going to

0:29:41.120 --> 0:29:43.719
<v Speaker 1>give it to you at this point. It's all I am, right,

0:29:44.120 --> 0:29:46.160
<v Speaker 1>So I think I had that realization too, where I

0:29:46.320 --> 0:29:50.479
<v Speaker 1>was like, this is my life there and I've been

0:29:50.480 --> 0:29:55.000
<v Speaker 1>an independent my entire life, never lived you know, never

0:29:55.120 --> 0:29:58.080
<v Speaker 1>accepted money from a husband or anything like that. But

0:29:58.240 --> 0:30:00.560
<v Speaker 1>I can absolutely put myself in the shoe a woman

0:30:00.600 --> 0:30:03.160
<v Speaker 1>who has And I thought about that a lot, and

0:30:03.560 --> 0:30:07.400
<v Speaker 1>you know, when I realized this is it. I am

0:30:07.480 --> 0:30:10.080
<v Speaker 1>on my own no matter what. I've got to figure

0:30:10.120 --> 0:30:13.800
<v Speaker 1>it all out or there is really no or that,

0:30:13.920 --> 0:30:14.520
<v Speaker 1>there's only.

0:30:14.440 --> 0:30:17.800
<v Speaker 2>That option, there's no are, there's no or. And you know,

0:30:17.960 --> 0:30:19.960
<v Speaker 2>other women just sit there, going, well, someone else is

0:30:19.960 --> 0:30:22.880
<v Speaker 2>going to come along. Yeah, Well, you know today, with

0:30:23.200 --> 0:30:25.840
<v Speaker 2>the way the world is, there's such a disconnect between

0:30:25.920 --> 0:30:28.920
<v Speaker 2>men and women. They may not and they should be

0:30:29.000 --> 0:30:30.800
<v Speaker 2>prepared either way. It didn't matter.

0:30:31.000 --> 0:30:36.000
<v Speaker 1>You can't depend on someone else for your life, basically, and.

0:30:36.520 --> 0:30:39.960
<v Speaker 2>I teach that. And so when these women. I started

0:30:40.000 --> 0:30:42.840
<v Speaker 2>doing these dinners first, and I wanted to see who

0:30:42.840 --> 0:30:44.680
<v Speaker 2>would show up, and I had no idea. I was like,

0:30:44.760 --> 0:30:46.160
<v Speaker 2>I did one in New York. I was like, God

0:30:46.280 --> 0:30:47.560
<v Speaker 2>knows who's going to show off. And this is the

0:30:47.640 --> 0:30:49.760
<v Speaker 2>first person that came. I see this little old lady

0:30:49.800 --> 0:30:53.160
<v Speaker 2>coming across no across the road, and I'm going, okay,

0:30:53.400 --> 0:30:55.760
<v Speaker 2>and she goes Caroline waving at me, and I'm like,

0:30:55.840 --> 0:30:57.360
<v Speaker 2>oh God, this is going to be a nightmare.

0:30:57.480 --> 0:30:59.880
<v Speaker 1>Wait, how did she find out? How did she find out.

0:31:00.000 --> 0:31:01.800
<v Speaker 2>So I put it on my I put it on

0:31:01.920 --> 0:31:04.120
<v Speaker 2>my This was a dinner. It started as a dinner

0:31:04.240 --> 0:31:06.200
<v Speaker 2>that you could pay a ticket and come to the dinner.

0:31:06.400 --> 0:31:09.120
<v Speaker 2>I put on my Instagram. Who's in New York loved?

0:31:09.280 --> 0:31:13.280
<v Speaker 2>You know, I'm hosting a VIP dinner. So anyway, the

0:31:13.360 --> 0:31:16.640
<v Speaker 2>first woman comes and she sits down and she sold

0:31:16.720 --> 0:31:21.280
<v Speaker 2>her business to Warren Buffett. Okay, yes, okay. She then

0:31:21.360 --> 0:31:25.120
<v Speaker 2>made so much money she bought it back. She was

0:31:25.200 --> 0:31:28.000
<v Speaker 2>living in Mustique. She's about I think she was seventy

0:31:28.080 --> 0:31:29.560
<v Speaker 2>six when she came to the dinner. This is a

0:31:29.600 --> 0:31:33.840
<v Speaker 2>few years ago now. And another another woman came. She'd

0:31:33.880 --> 0:31:37.040
<v Speaker 2>sold a business for I don't know, three four hundred

0:31:37.120 --> 0:31:41.120
<v Speaker 2>million Australian, which is like two hundred million dollars. It

0:31:41.240 --> 0:31:46.200
<v Speaker 2>was the weirdest lasers. Yeah, getting divorced. And these powerful

0:31:46.280 --> 0:31:48.560
<v Speaker 2>women came right and I was, I mean, I was

0:31:48.600 --> 0:31:51.920
<v Speaker 2>the poorest person at the table by far, and Lee successful.

0:31:51.960 --> 0:31:54.480
<v Speaker 2>So I'm going, why are all these women why are

0:31:54.520 --> 0:31:59.080
<v Speaker 2>they listening to me? Yes? And then I understood women

0:31:59.360 --> 0:32:03.320
<v Speaker 2>want to like minded women. Okay, at this age, they

0:32:03.360 --> 0:32:06.600
<v Speaker 2>want to connect with women. They want purpose, They don't

0:32:06.640 --> 0:32:08.240
<v Speaker 2>need to make money. Any you know, they don't need

0:32:08.320 --> 0:32:10.000
<v Speaker 2>to make money, but they need to do something they

0:32:10.040 --> 0:32:12.240
<v Speaker 2>want the next thing they've done, they've already made the money.

0:32:12.560 --> 0:32:14.240
<v Speaker 2>You know, some other women came of of course it

0:32:14.480 --> 0:32:16.480
<v Speaker 2>hadn't made that kind of money, but they'd made a

0:32:16.640 --> 0:32:18.640
<v Speaker 2>nice amount of money. Some of them had grown up

0:32:18.680 --> 0:32:21.640
<v Speaker 2>in small towns, made a bit of money. And you know,

0:32:21.720 --> 0:32:24.920
<v Speaker 2>the people around them now resented them, right because they

0:32:25.000 --> 0:32:26.640
<v Speaker 2>became a little bit bigger than them. And they wanted

0:32:26.680 --> 0:32:29.760
<v Speaker 2>to connect with like minded women. And it was the

0:32:29.800 --> 0:32:31.760
<v Speaker 2>weirdest thing, and it became quite powerful. And then I

0:32:31.840 --> 0:32:34.160
<v Speaker 2>did this other one in Texas and one woman was

0:32:34.240 --> 0:32:38.280
<v Speaker 2>running for Congress, another woman was to one went to Princeton.

0:32:38.840 --> 0:32:42.880
<v Speaker 2>One had like all these treatment centers in LA like

0:32:42.960 --> 0:32:46.200
<v Speaker 2>amazing beautiful women, and they've all kept in contact with

0:32:46.280 --> 0:32:48.480
<v Speaker 2>each other. And I said, I'm actually doing something quite

0:32:48.520 --> 0:32:52.240
<v Speaker 2>powerful here. These women wanted to do business with each other,

0:32:52.840 --> 0:32:55.600
<v Speaker 2>they want to connect with each other. They're now doing

0:32:55.640 --> 0:32:58.080
<v Speaker 2>a reunion. I'm on a group chat with them and

0:32:58.240 --> 0:33:01.240
<v Speaker 2>I can see. I take everybody's see before they come

0:33:01.320 --> 0:33:03.240
<v Speaker 2>to the retreat, so I can see, Like on this

0:33:03.360 --> 0:33:05.040
<v Speaker 2>new one, I've got quite a lot of people who

0:33:05.120 --> 0:33:08.480
<v Speaker 2>are in real estate coming because real estate's really quite

0:33:08.480 --> 0:33:11.000
<v Speaker 2>an easy business for somebody who's starting out to invest

0:33:11.520 --> 0:33:15.080
<v Speaker 2>and doesn't know how to invest their money. And that

0:33:15.280 --> 0:33:17.360
<v Speaker 2>is probably the easiest way for a woman to build

0:33:17.400 --> 0:33:20.720
<v Speaker 2>wealth with not much, you know, not much education.

0:33:21.280 --> 0:33:23.320
<v Speaker 1>Can I pause for you for a second, say, I'm

0:33:23.360 --> 0:33:26.360
<v Speaker 1>one of those women that doesn't have any money. Like

0:33:27.000 --> 0:33:29.960
<v Speaker 1>my husband wasn't wealthy. We're divorced. Now I'm still not

0:33:30.040 --> 0:33:33.000
<v Speaker 1>wealthy and I'm on my own. So how do I

0:33:33.080 --> 0:33:33.600
<v Speaker 1>even start?

0:33:34.480 --> 0:33:37.200
<v Speaker 2>Well, I always tell the women, because I do, you know,

0:33:37.280 --> 0:33:39.680
<v Speaker 2>I tell you look around the house and see what

0:33:39.760 --> 0:33:43.320
<v Speaker 2>you can sell, liquidate as much as you can. And

0:33:43.920 --> 0:33:47.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, if you've got jewelry assets, any asset, get

0:33:47.760 --> 0:33:49.960
<v Speaker 2>rid of it and put it into a down payment,

0:33:50.000 --> 0:33:51.480
<v Speaker 2>because all you need to do is get on that

0:33:51.640 --> 0:33:54.800
<v Speaker 2>ladder and you can start with you know, it doesn't

0:33:54.880 --> 0:33:59.240
<v Speaker 2>have a one bedroom tiny I started with one bedroom apartment,

0:34:00.240 --> 0:34:03.880
<v Speaker 2>and then I started to build and to remortgage and

0:34:04.080 --> 0:34:06.160
<v Speaker 2>to get my next one and my next one, and

0:34:06.240 --> 0:34:08.080
<v Speaker 2>I got six and I don't know how.

0:34:08.560 --> 0:34:10.960
<v Speaker 1>So you bought an apartment and then you flipped it,

0:34:11.560 --> 0:34:12.000
<v Speaker 1>rented it.

0:34:12.040 --> 0:34:16.319
<v Speaker 2>Out, rented it out, renovated it. That as much as

0:34:16.360 --> 0:34:19.400
<v Speaker 2>I could re mortgaged it, used that mortgage payment to

0:34:19.480 --> 0:34:22.560
<v Speaker 2>do the next one, and did the same and started

0:34:22.600 --> 0:34:23.960
<v Speaker 2>building beautiful.

0:34:24.440 --> 0:34:25.879
<v Speaker 1>This is not hard. That's not hard.

0:34:26.239 --> 0:34:27.160
<v Speaker 2>It's on a cloud.

0:34:27.800 --> 0:34:29.840
<v Speaker 1>No one has ever broken that down for me, like

0:34:29.960 --> 0:34:32.640
<v Speaker 1>no one has ever. Here's step one, here's step two,

0:34:32.640 --> 0:34:34.840
<v Speaker 1>here's step three. Yes, if you want to follow this plan.

0:34:35.280 --> 0:34:37.880
<v Speaker 2>Yes, and that's what I do. So we sit there

0:34:37.960 --> 0:34:39.920
<v Speaker 2>until you actually can't walk away. The whole point of

0:34:39.960 --> 0:34:43.560
<v Speaker 2>the retreat is you walk away with an answer. Everybody,

0:34:43.560 --> 0:34:46.080
<v Speaker 2>and also the women that are in there. Some, as

0:34:46.120 --> 0:34:48.520
<v Speaker 2>I said, some are super successful and some aren't and

0:34:48.640 --> 0:34:50.719
<v Speaker 2>don't have the money, but they want to learn, right,

0:34:51.160 --> 0:34:54.280
<v Speaker 2>So everybody sits there and you actually get each other's opinion.

0:34:54.520 --> 0:34:56.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean, that's what happens when women come together, are

0:34:56.560 --> 0:34:59.400
<v Speaker 1>strong together, any kind of woman, A week strong, doesn't

0:34:59.400 --> 0:35:03.760
<v Speaker 1>even matter. The energy just changes everybody's energy.

0:35:03.880 --> 0:35:06.400
<v Speaker 2>The energy in that room was insane. But when I

0:35:06.560 --> 0:35:08.880
<v Speaker 2>break it down like that to you, and you know

0:35:09.080 --> 0:35:11.399
<v Speaker 2>I didn't have any money left. I didn't. I told

0:35:11.400 --> 0:35:13.359
<v Speaker 2>you I had twenty five thousand dollars and maybe that's

0:35:13.400 --> 0:35:15.520
<v Speaker 2>still for some people, a lot of money. I don't know,

0:35:15.680 --> 0:35:18.359
<v Speaker 2>but that wasn't. I wasn't sitting on a pile of cash.

0:35:18.440 --> 0:35:22.439
<v Speaker 2>I have six I have six and somehow I bought

0:35:22.480 --> 0:35:28.320
<v Speaker 2>this house. You can talk yourself into anything. My last

0:35:28.360 --> 0:35:33.440
<v Speaker 2>apartment I spent zero because I refinanced the others. I

0:35:33.520 --> 0:35:37.719
<v Speaker 2>didn't put a pound down, not one pound. And I

0:35:37.880 --> 0:35:42.680
<v Speaker 2>think it sounds so complicated that we over complicate, right,

0:35:43.160 --> 0:35:47.600
<v Speaker 2>But once you get going, it's truly not you know,

0:35:47.840 --> 0:35:51.000
<v Speaker 2>And you'd be surprised how much money if we're really

0:35:51.080 --> 0:35:55.880
<v Speaker 2>talking about you as sitting in your home in probably bags, clothes,

0:35:56.719 --> 0:35:59.320
<v Speaker 2>car I could think of quite a few things. You

0:35:59.360 --> 0:36:03.040
<v Speaker 2>can buy them back later when you've built a portfolio.

0:36:03.120 --> 0:36:06.640
<v Speaker 2>I remember when I have a mortgage guy here who

0:36:06.760 --> 0:36:09.319
<v Speaker 2>was helping me, and I said, I've got no money left.

0:36:09.320 --> 0:36:10.880
<v Speaker 2>I've got no cash left, and he goes, well, we've

0:36:10.920 --> 0:36:13.920
<v Speaker 2>been here before, haven't we, except you now have a

0:36:13.960 --> 0:36:17.040
<v Speaker 2>property portfolio. And I looked around and went, I do.

0:36:19.239 --> 0:36:23.720
<v Speaker 1>You say it's label breaking? Like about breaking the labels.

0:36:23.680 --> 0:36:27.520
<v Speaker 2>It's about, you know, breaking the mystery. I think people

0:36:28.320 --> 0:36:32.960
<v Speaker 2>like to over complicate business. Right, I've achieved this, but

0:36:33.120 --> 0:36:35.879
<v Speaker 2>I you know, because you're seeing the end, you're seeing

0:36:35.920 --> 0:36:38.319
<v Speaker 2>me at six or seven. But you don't seeing where

0:36:38.320 --> 0:36:41.520
<v Speaker 2>I started, right. Everyone wants the end, but they don't

0:36:41.560 --> 0:36:43.759
<v Speaker 2>know what the beginning was. The beginning. You know, I've

0:36:43.840 --> 0:36:45.960
<v Speaker 2>never started a business where I haven't literally had to

0:36:46.120 --> 0:36:49.920
<v Speaker 2>beg somebody for money to start, right, except for the

0:36:50.040 --> 0:36:53.680
<v Speaker 2>property business, I didn't beg anyone. I just literally said, okay,

0:36:54.360 --> 0:36:57.680
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'll save this that the mortgage. In fact,

0:36:57.719 --> 0:37:00.600
<v Speaker 2>your deposits are even less than we have to do here.

0:37:01.400 --> 0:37:04.239
<v Speaker 2>You in America, you can put very little down.

0:37:04.760 --> 0:37:05.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay.

0:37:05.640 --> 0:37:09.640
<v Speaker 2>I looked at the States too, yes, much less, so,

0:37:10.120 --> 0:37:13.600
<v Speaker 2>you know, and and there are so many good business

0:37:13.719 --> 0:37:16.040
<v Speaker 2>plans out there, Like I wanted to do Section eight

0:37:16.160 --> 0:37:18.320
<v Speaker 2>housing in America because I just thought that was just

0:37:18.480 --> 0:37:21.400
<v Speaker 2>such a great business. And I've looked at all of it.

0:37:21.640 --> 0:37:23.600
<v Speaker 2>You know, you want to do in America. You want

0:37:23.640 --> 0:37:26.120
<v Speaker 2>to do the things that are un sexy, right, The

0:37:26.800 --> 0:37:30.239
<v Speaker 2>businesses no one else wants to do in our in

0:37:30.360 --> 0:37:32.520
<v Speaker 2>our genre are the businesses that you want to take.

0:37:33.800 --> 0:37:37.879
<v Speaker 2>Those are the ones that make money. Car washers, no joke,

0:37:39.160 --> 0:37:45.880
<v Speaker 2>laundry mats, no joke, very little upfront, so unglamorous, so unglad.

0:37:46.120 --> 0:37:50.840
<v Speaker 2>That's necessity. They are also what do you call it,

0:37:51.239 --> 0:37:57.080
<v Speaker 2>my head's gone proof. Recession proof, the recession proof, and

0:37:57.200 --> 0:37:59.560
<v Speaker 2>that's what you're looking for. And then when you can

0:37:59.600 --> 0:38:02.000
<v Speaker 2>build it and you want to do something glamorously, to

0:38:02.080 --> 0:38:04.760
<v Speaker 2>go for it. But you know, I don't care about glamor.

0:38:04.760 --> 0:38:06.400
<v Speaker 2>I mean, you know, I always said that I would

0:38:06.440 --> 0:38:08.680
<v Speaker 2>do the I would do the depends the nappy, you know,

0:38:08.800 --> 0:38:12.359
<v Speaker 2>the one, the one for women's content that they want

0:38:12.360 --> 0:38:12.800
<v Speaker 2>to pay for me.

0:38:12.920 --> 0:38:13.960
<v Speaker 1>Someone will see you to it.

0:38:14.680 --> 0:38:16.960
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, exact why, I know, But like I'll take the

0:38:17.080 --> 0:38:18.960
<v Speaker 2>un sexy jobs they pay. Hmmmm.

0:38:20.400 --> 0:38:22.759
<v Speaker 1>It's it's so interesting your perspective, and I love that

0:38:22.800 --> 0:38:26.000
<v Speaker 1>it's coming from this strong female financial Uh, you know,

0:38:26.280 --> 0:38:28.359
<v Speaker 1>I can make this happen for myself. And that's such

0:38:28.360 --> 0:38:31.319
<v Speaker 1>an important message to women, especially women that don't come

0:38:31.360 --> 0:38:36.000
<v Speaker 1>from wealth that finding you know, they're finding themselves kind

0:38:36.040 --> 0:38:39.880
<v Speaker 1>of starting over and it is very scary.

0:38:40.280 --> 0:38:43.520
<v Speaker 2>It is scary, but you should take other people and

0:38:43.800 --> 0:38:46.800
<v Speaker 2>let them inspy you instead of let them threaten you.

0:38:47.080 --> 0:38:51.000
<v Speaker 1>Yes. Absolutely. Big pivot for me was looking at other

0:38:51.080 --> 0:38:53.640
<v Speaker 1>women who have more than me, who are smarter than me,

0:38:53.920 --> 0:38:56.640
<v Speaker 1>who who have just you know, had more success than me.

0:38:57.120 --> 0:38:59.400
<v Speaker 1>I want to surround myself with those women because I

0:38:59.520 --> 0:39:01.399
<v Speaker 1>want to learn learn how they did it. I want

0:39:01.440 --> 0:39:03.279
<v Speaker 1>to I want to see what that looks like.

0:39:03.960 --> 0:39:06.759
<v Speaker 2>That is the most important thing. You want to be

0:39:07.200 --> 0:39:11.600
<v Speaker 2>the most dumb person in the room if you're not

0:39:11.880 --> 0:39:12.959
<v Speaker 2>changed rooms.

0:39:14.480 --> 0:39:16.640
<v Speaker 1>Because you're not gonna learn anything in that room. Right,

0:39:17.080 --> 0:39:17.640
<v Speaker 1>that's the thing.

0:39:18.440 --> 0:39:22.399
<v Speaker 2>Nothing, and that's the most important thing. I don't think

0:39:22.520 --> 0:39:26.240
<v Speaker 2>you know, look, use it, use it. Listen to people

0:39:26.280 --> 0:39:29.399
<v Speaker 2>that have been through it, because you know, again, as

0:39:29.440 --> 0:39:31.239
<v Speaker 2>you said, no one's coming to save you. It is

0:39:31.440 --> 0:39:34.040
<v Speaker 2>so easy when you break it down and it's not

0:39:34.160 --> 0:39:38.120
<v Speaker 2>as scary. And a woman that's already there, that's achieved

0:39:38.200 --> 0:39:40.279
<v Speaker 2>something from nothing, and a lot of the people that have,

0:39:40.600 --> 0:39:43.520
<v Speaker 2>you know, really successful women today have come from nothing.

0:39:43.600 --> 0:39:46.480
<v Speaker 2>Look at people like Emma Grady, look at look at

0:39:46.520 --> 0:39:50.640
<v Speaker 2>all these women who have hard graph to get to

0:39:50.719 --> 0:39:54.440
<v Speaker 2>where they are. Right, they will give you a leg up,

0:39:54.560 --> 0:39:56.800
<v Speaker 2>they will give you their secrets. It's the ones that

0:39:57.320 --> 0:39:59.880
<v Speaker 2>haven't had to work for it that don't right. You know,

0:40:00.000 --> 0:40:03.200
<v Speaker 2>when I was building my first business, I was doing

0:40:03.280 --> 0:40:06.160
<v Speaker 2>like a netaporte online but for gifts. I remember the

0:40:06.480 --> 0:40:09.040
<v Speaker 2>founder of netaport and one of the one of the

0:40:09.080 --> 0:40:13.120
<v Speaker 2>first investors. She gave me her packaging company, her tissue

0:40:13.160 --> 0:40:16.239
<v Speaker 2>paper company, her gifting you know, the river everything, and

0:40:16.320 --> 0:40:18.520
<v Speaker 2>everyone was going stop asking her, and she said, no, no,

0:40:18.640 --> 0:40:22.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm there's room for everybody in this business. That's you know,

0:40:22.280 --> 0:40:24.880
<v Speaker 2>if you're a confident woman, there is room for everybody.

0:40:24.880 --> 0:40:27.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm not giving you my secret. There's no secrets, no secret,

0:40:27.640 --> 0:40:30.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, Yeah, there's no secret. The secret is. The

0:40:30.239 --> 0:40:32.640
<v Speaker 2>secret is I'm doing it. Yeah, hard work, get up

0:40:32.640 --> 0:40:34.640
<v Speaker 2>and do it. Just get up and do it. If

0:40:34.680 --> 0:40:36.520
<v Speaker 2>you can't afford to do it in your country, there

0:40:36.560 --> 0:40:38.960
<v Speaker 2>are other countries that you can afford to get to

0:40:39.360 --> 0:40:42.000
<v Speaker 2>do it in. I've just started doing it in Bali. Now.

0:40:42.080 --> 0:40:43.680
<v Speaker 2>I'd never been to Bali before.

0:40:43.880 --> 0:40:46.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh my gosh, I heard your your you and your

0:40:46.920 --> 0:40:50.279
<v Speaker 1>husband are opening a retreat.

0:40:50.440 --> 0:40:53.960
<v Speaker 2>Hotel, boutique hotel. I don't know how. I was so

0:40:54.320 --> 0:40:56.680
<v Speaker 2>dead against it. I've never I've been to Bali once

0:40:56.719 --> 0:40:59.239
<v Speaker 2>in my life. Don't didn't really like it, Like, I'm like,

0:40:59.280 --> 0:41:02.040
<v Speaker 2>why am I going? This was years ago now I

0:41:02.160 --> 0:41:05.319
<v Speaker 2>quite like it. I bought we bought the land. Then

0:41:05.360 --> 0:41:06.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, I don't know how we're going to pay

0:41:06.560 --> 0:41:09.400
<v Speaker 2>for the rest of it, and like just slowly, slowly

0:41:09.480 --> 0:41:11.800
<v Speaker 2>and then people see your dream, they join you, and

0:41:12.120 --> 0:41:15.440
<v Speaker 2>it's happening. It is being built. I've done all the foundations.

0:41:15.480 --> 0:41:17.640
<v Speaker 2>It's all there, the big builds starting. We've just got

0:41:17.680 --> 0:41:22.600
<v Speaker 2>a huge partner. It's coming because we're doing it. We

0:41:22.719 --> 0:41:25.239
<v Speaker 2>took the step. We just did it, and there is

0:41:25.360 --> 0:41:27.880
<v Speaker 2>like Dubai you get like you know, this is something

0:41:27.960 --> 0:41:30.040
<v Speaker 2>that I can run for the rest of my life.

0:41:30.080 --> 0:41:32.359
<v Speaker 2>I don't look need to look pretty, I don't need

0:41:32.440 --> 0:41:34.480
<v Speaker 2>to look I don't need to really know what I'm doing.

0:41:34.520 --> 0:41:37.399
<v Speaker 2>Because it's a boutique hotel. Everyone's going to come because

0:41:37.440 --> 0:41:39.920
<v Speaker 2>they're going to want to like either meet us or

0:41:40.000 --> 0:41:43.080
<v Speaker 2>see if it's good, see if it's rubbish.

0:41:43.360 --> 0:41:45.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you know, but they're going to come out come.

0:41:45.920 --> 0:41:48.440
<v Speaker 1>It sounds I mean, I'm so excited for you. That

0:41:48.520 --> 0:41:50.279
<v Speaker 1>sounds like such a fun. Chapter two to do with

0:41:50.320 --> 0:41:53.319
<v Speaker 1>your new husband, Like hasn't been working with them?

0:41:53.719 --> 0:41:56.280
<v Speaker 2>Well, he's been doing that. It's great. We don't argue

0:41:56.360 --> 0:41:58.239
<v Speaker 2>at all because we do different things. I think the

0:41:58.320 --> 0:42:01.120
<v Speaker 2>best thing is just to separate your your roles and

0:42:01.200 --> 0:42:06.040
<v Speaker 2>don't tread on each other's toes communication. It sounds like, yes,

0:42:06.239 --> 0:42:08.080
<v Speaker 2>and if you're working for the same thing, which is

0:42:08.120 --> 0:42:12.880
<v Speaker 2>your retirement together? Right then you're excited, like it's the

0:42:12.960 --> 0:42:15.640
<v Speaker 2>same thing. I think a lot of people do bet

0:42:15.719 --> 0:42:18.600
<v Speaker 2>and breakfast in America now, and things like this, like

0:42:19.280 --> 0:42:22.400
<v Speaker 2>just jobs or businesses that don't you could run for

0:42:22.480 --> 0:42:25.880
<v Speaker 2>the rest of your life, that don't really require you

0:42:26.000 --> 0:42:29.440
<v Speaker 2>to look a certain way, and that you can keep

0:42:29.520 --> 0:42:32.160
<v Speaker 2>the room rates going and you it's just an easy,

0:42:33.000 --> 0:42:35.240
<v Speaker 2>fun business and you get to meet nice people.

0:42:35.440 --> 0:42:39.080
<v Speaker 1>And you know, I love this. I'm so excited about

0:42:39.080 --> 0:42:41.960
<v Speaker 1>this chapter in your life. I think that a lot

0:42:42.000 --> 0:42:44.760
<v Speaker 1>of women are going to be really inspired by your strength,

0:42:45.320 --> 0:42:48.920
<v Speaker 1>your knowledge. You know, I didn't know you before this interview,

0:42:48.960 --> 0:42:53.000
<v Speaker 1>and I just met you. I'm not a watcher of

0:42:53.320 --> 0:42:54.400
<v Speaker 1>any of the housewives.

0:42:54.640 --> 0:42:55.600
<v Speaker 2>Don't why you weren't learning?

0:42:56.080 --> 0:42:59.560
<v Speaker 1>Were you were on the Dubai right? Yeah, which I

0:42:59.600 --> 0:43:02.359
<v Speaker 1>can was very glamorous because, like I said, I never

0:43:02.400 --> 0:43:06.160
<v Speaker 1>saw it, but it sounds like such a wild ride.

0:43:06.280 --> 0:43:07.840
<v Speaker 1>Is there going to be another? Are there going to

0:43:07.880 --> 0:43:10.560
<v Speaker 1>be more episodes of the next Dubai Housewife?

0:43:10.840 --> 0:43:14.000
<v Speaker 2>Actually don't know. We are paused at the moment. I

0:43:14.080 --> 0:43:16.640
<v Speaker 2>think quite a few of them, so I have no idea. Again,

0:43:17.160 --> 0:43:19.399
<v Speaker 2>you know, TV, you never know, That's why you can't

0:43:19.440 --> 0:43:19.920
<v Speaker 2>rely on it.

0:43:20.080 --> 0:43:22.200
<v Speaker 1>Why did they posit? I think they can posit for

0:43:22.239 --> 0:43:24.719
<v Speaker 1>a million reasons, I guess, but I don't know.

0:43:25.000 --> 0:43:27.359
<v Speaker 2>I think Dubai is quite hard, you know if first

0:43:27.400 --> 0:43:29.920
<v Speaker 2>of all, it's very foreign for them, you know, like

0:43:30.040 --> 0:43:32.440
<v Speaker 2>it's it's very expensive to come over here all the

0:43:32.480 --> 0:43:35.000
<v Speaker 2>way from the States. It's a very foreign place to film.

0:43:35.480 --> 0:43:37.399
<v Speaker 2>You've got to look at a lot more permits. It's

0:43:37.600 --> 0:43:39.880
<v Speaker 2>they're not used to having. We were the first reality

0:43:39.960 --> 0:43:42.040
<v Speaker 2>show here, so they've never had anything like that. I mean,

0:43:42.080 --> 0:43:44.280
<v Speaker 2>it's funny because I did Ladies of London in England

0:43:44.320 --> 0:43:46.680
<v Speaker 2>and we were the first reality show there too, and

0:43:46.800 --> 0:43:49.680
<v Speaker 2>it was just as hard, you know, because everyone didn't

0:43:49.719 --> 0:43:52.279
<v Speaker 2>understand what we were trying to do. And it was

0:43:52.360 --> 0:43:55.080
<v Speaker 2>called Real Housewives of Dubai, and then the Dubai government

0:43:55.120 --> 0:43:57.200
<v Speaker 2>were like, well, they're not like Real Housewives of Dubai.

0:43:57.320 --> 0:44:00.320
<v Speaker 2>That's not what Real Housewives of Dubai looks like, you know.

0:44:00.920 --> 0:44:03.840
<v Speaker 2>So it was it's just it's a different, very foreign

0:44:03.960 --> 0:44:05.759
<v Speaker 2>town to do it. But I think they're getting their

0:44:05.760 --> 0:44:06.520
<v Speaker 2>head around it now.

0:44:06.880 --> 0:44:08.799
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well would you do it again?

0:44:09.000 --> 0:44:11.400
<v Speaker 2>I don't know, is the answer. Right now. I'm very

0:44:11.480 --> 0:44:14.400
<v Speaker 2>happy out of it, like I'm a very happy, positive

0:44:14.480 --> 0:44:18.400
<v Speaker 2>person and these shows, you know, require you to go

0:44:18.560 --> 0:44:19.920
<v Speaker 2>head to head with a lot of women, and I

0:44:20.000 --> 0:44:22.960
<v Speaker 2>think you can see that I'm not that. I like

0:44:23.040 --> 0:44:24.400
<v Speaker 2>to build women. I love it.

0:44:24.680 --> 0:44:26.760
<v Speaker 1>Maybe the shows need to kind of pivot their focus,

0:44:26.920 --> 0:44:29.120
<v Speaker 1>but maybe that won't be it's fun for people to watch.

0:44:29.200 --> 0:44:31.239
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. If it were me producing it, I

0:44:31.239 --> 0:44:35.000
<v Speaker 1>would absolutely be pivoting to women, supporting women and meeting

0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:37.279
<v Speaker 1>women like you today who are like, let me tell

0:44:37.320 --> 0:44:39.920
<v Speaker 1>you by manufacturer's name, let me tell you where to

0:44:40.000 --> 0:44:42.359
<v Speaker 1>take your money. I love that about you. You are

0:44:42.400 --> 0:44:44.400
<v Speaker 1>a giver to other women and that's awesome.

0:44:45.239 --> 0:44:48.520
<v Speaker 2>Thank you, thank you, I mean, and it should be glorified,

0:44:48.600 --> 0:44:50.960
<v Speaker 2>like I would love a show like this too, So

0:44:51.080 --> 0:44:53.440
<v Speaker 2>I would love to do Building Barley and things like this.

0:44:53.560 --> 0:44:55.839
<v Speaker 2>Way you can still have the conflict and the fun

0:44:56.000 --> 0:44:58.560
<v Speaker 2>because obviously there's things that are going to be going wrong, right,

0:44:58.840 --> 0:45:02.640
<v Speaker 2>but you know, or or any business show with women,

0:45:02.880 --> 0:45:06.360
<v Speaker 2>right it is everybody's learning and everybody is trying to

0:45:06.400 --> 0:45:09.200
<v Speaker 2>get ahead, and we all are in the same position today.

0:45:09.719 --> 0:45:12.840
<v Speaker 2>Most women are divorced and looking for their next chapter.

0:45:13.000 --> 0:45:16.480
<v Speaker 2>And that is if women came together and helped other

0:45:16.600 --> 0:45:20.320
<v Speaker 2>women feel secure in what their next chapter looked like.

0:45:20.640 --> 0:45:22.759
<v Speaker 2>The world would be a very different place.

0:45:23.880 --> 0:45:27.319
<v Speaker 1>Well, they can look to you so and to me, yeah,

0:45:27.480 --> 0:45:30.120
<v Speaker 1>and to you we've got something. Yeah, we've all got examples.

0:45:30.160 --> 0:45:34.960
<v Speaker 1>I say, definitely surround yourself with stronger, stronger women that

0:45:35.040 --> 0:45:37.319
<v Speaker 1>have been through more and learned more.

0:45:37.680 --> 0:45:39.000
<v Speaker 2>Thousands week give you strength.

0:45:39.080 --> 0:45:40.839
<v Speaker 1>Well, thank you so much for chatting with me today.

0:45:40.840 --> 0:45:41.800
<v Speaker 1>I really really enjoyed it.

0:45:42.800 --> 0:45:45.520
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for having me. It's been amazing. Who knew

0:45:45.520 --> 0:45:47.000
<v Speaker 2>we had such parallel lies.

0:45:47.160 --> 0:45:49.120
<v Speaker 1>I know it's weird when you talk to someone you've

0:45:49.160 --> 0:45:50.840
<v Speaker 1>never met before and things like that happen.

0:45:51.160 --> 0:45:51.560
<v Speaker 2>I love it.

0:45:51.760 --> 0:45:55.280
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Well, good luck with your resort, retreat. What should

0:45:55.280 --> 0:45:55.560
<v Speaker 1>I call it?

0:45:56.880 --> 0:45:57.280
<v Speaker 2>Retreat?

0:45:57.520 --> 0:46:00.399
<v Speaker 1>Hotel? Oh, you retreat and your hotel you a lock

0:46:00.440 --> 0:46:00.759
<v Speaker 1>away on.

0:46:01.600 --> 0:46:03.759
<v Speaker 2>Well I'm two years away from that, but I'm in

0:46:03.800 --> 0:46:04.520
<v Speaker 2>the middle of it all.

0:46:04.800 --> 0:46:08.160
<v Speaker 1>Love it. Keep going, You're doing great. Thank you all right,

0:46:08.440 --> 0:46:08.960
<v Speaker 1>have a great thing.

0:46:09.040 --> 0:46:10.560
<v Speaker 2>So nice to meet you. Bye bye.

0:46:11.560 --> 0:46:14.840
<v Speaker 1>This conversation has been so incredible. Thank you Caroline for

0:46:14.960 --> 0:46:17.439
<v Speaker 1>joining me on the pod. If you're ready to level

0:46:17.560 --> 0:46:20.839
<v Speaker 1>up your chapter two, call us or email us. All

0:46:20.960 --> 0:46:24.040
<v Speaker 1>the info is in the show notes follow US on socials.

0:46:24.120 --> 0:46:26.400
<v Speaker 1>Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do

0:46:26.560 --> 0:46:30.600
<v Speaker 1>Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is

0:46:30.680 --> 0:46:31.640
<v Speaker 1>the main objective.