Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's La La Kent.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Untraditionally, Lala, Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to Untraditionally Lala.
Speaker 2: I am hyped out of my effing mind because we
Speaker 2: are doing the opposite of a hater's podcast today, and
Speaker 2: we are doing an episode of a lover's podcast.
Speaker 1: That's right.
Speaker 2: You guys wrote in you wanted to give me my flowers,
Speaker 2: you wanted to toot my horn, you wanted to show
Speaker 2: me some love. And you are rippin' if you think
Speaker 2: I would say no to that. So I've got three
Speaker 2: callers on the line. I'm going to zoom in a
Speaker 2: lot of you guys said on the beef things. You're like,
Speaker 2: that one's Kristin Doty, that one's this person. You guys,
Speaker 2: I'm zooming with these people. We're not showing you their
Speaker 2: faces because we want to protect their privacy, but I
Speaker 2: see them. There's no one I know on these calls.
Speaker 2: With that, let's get it popping. With my first caller, Miranda,
Speaker 2: I'm so nervous.
Speaker 3: I'm nervous. Don't say that.
Speaker 1: You're nervous too, Hi, Bibe, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm more nervous for this than I was
Speaker 2: about having the haters on.
Speaker 3: Oh that's so funny. I'm like, great, she's saying, she
Speaker 3: I'm nervous. I'm like talking into my camera because I
Speaker 3: wanted you to know I am recording on my phone.
Speaker 3: If that's okay with you.
Speaker 1: I would love that. That's amazing, like.
Speaker 3: Behind the scenes. But I'm literally saying like I'm nervous. Okay,
Speaker 3: here they come. And then that's the first.
Speaker 1: Thing you say, I know, No, we're right here, We're
Speaker 1: in sync.
Speaker 2: It just goes to show that, like I'm so much
Speaker 2: more comfortable in conflict than I am with like sweetness
Speaker 2: and softness.
Speaker 3: Originally, I was supposed to come on for the hater
Speaker 3: podcast just saying I don't know if you know that. No, okay,
Speaker 3: Well I reached out about that just because I was like,
Speaker 3: I have a lot to say to this girl, and
Speaker 3: like I like her. I used to like her. He
Speaker 3: ticked me off a little bit, you know that last
Speaker 3: season whatever, But the sobriety for me has been like
Speaker 3: the biggest grounding point I guess with my parasocial relationship
Speaker 3: with you.
Speaker 1: I'll say, okay, I love this.
Speaker 3: So I like reached back out and I was like, yo,
Speaker 3: can I talk with her about sobriety?
Speaker 2: I would love this. Okay, so you you wanted to
Speaker 2: or you did reach out for the Haters episode because
Speaker 2: I ticked you off. Tell me why I ticked you off.
Speaker 3: It's just this switch up, dude. I was like, I
Speaker 3: have no idea, like I was such, I am like,
Speaker 3: I love you, come on your Lalla. And then it
Speaker 3: was like what happened the girl that like I don't
Speaker 3: want to say I fully like role modeled you. But
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, this is somebody who I actually
Speaker 3: align with. She knows very confident with herself, and I
Speaker 3: felt like I had a sense of Lalla in me.
Speaker 3: So it's like you reached a certain target with people,
Speaker 3: and then when we assume those roles, right, it's like, Okay,
Speaker 3: I have this mindset, this headspace. Now I'm giving them
Speaker 3: Lalla in my every day as Miranda, right, I expected
Speaker 3: you to then give Lalla all the way like with
Speaker 3: that me being a Lalla person is like I am
Speaker 3: and I know you hate the word because I do.
Speaker 3: Listen girls, girl, but how about just people's person?
Speaker 1: I love that even more girl.
Speaker 3: Out of it people's person. I didn't understand it, but
Speaker 3: there was a lot going on that we all didn't understand. Actually,
Speaker 3: so I think that, like hindsight's always twenty twenty. But
Speaker 3: I mean, I've listened. I listened to the Haters podcast
Speaker 3: and everything you said, your growth is there. I can't
Speaker 3: hate on somebody who's actively trying to be a better
Speaker 3: version of themselves every day. So that's why I was like,
Speaker 3: I'm just I want her to know that. Like I
Speaker 3: didn't understand that whatsoever, because I really expected you to
Speaker 3: kind of be there more so for Arianna, I guess,
Speaker 3: and like I'm a very big vander pump Rolls fan.
Speaker 3: I mean I watched since the beginning. I moved out
Speaker 3: to West Hollywood, not because of the show, just because
Speaker 3: I saw the life and I was like, ooh, I'm
Speaker 3: a speech therapist. I'm gonna move out there.
Speaker 1: And so I love this.
Speaker 3: I made a song for Katie and arian and Sandwich
Speaker 3: Shop something about that. I don't know if you ever
Speaker 3: heard it, but anyway, but I'll download it.
Speaker 1: Why do I get it Spotify?
Speaker 3: It's a big, big fan. So I always loved you guys.
Speaker 3: Was very confused at that end, but I think that
Speaker 3: you had just your own stuff going on, and the
Speaker 3: other thing is production. They should show I know more
Speaker 3: of what's going on because you're like having these like
Speaker 3: attitudes and these energies and like we don't know where
Speaker 3: it's coming from. So again, while we're watching, I could
Speaker 3: be so ramped up, but like I'll always be like
Speaker 3: all right, his side her aside the truth, So like
Speaker 3: what really went down?
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that that's you know, I've been
Speaker 2: doing this for a decade and I have learned to
Speaker 2: never get married to my own story because even though
Speaker 2: I am on a reality show, there's a job to do.
Speaker 1: This is entertainment for people.
Speaker 2: So I almost have to develop, or I guess, disassociate
Speaker 2: from my own reality because what I'm sharing may not
Speaker 2: be interesting enough, it may not make sense because we
Speaker 2: don't have the time to capture it all. And I
Speaker 2: have to know that everything I've shared I'm not married to.
Speaker 2: If people don't know, I hope that they enjoy the show.
Speaker 2: Season eleven was horrendous and horrible. You listen to the episode.
Speaker 2: I've said it many times. I I should have never
Speaker 2: gone back. I should have focused on myself and my
Speaker 2: kids and and honed in on what I needed to
Speaker 2: do to accept my reality, and it just didn't land.
Speaker 2: But this was a part of my journey. And I'm
Speaker 2: so happy that you wrote into the Haters episode, but
Speaker 2: I'm even happier that you're writing into this one.
Speaker 3: Oh thank you. And I was gonna say, like, okay,
Speaker 3: so the circling of this, I am what we would
Speaker 3: call California sober. So I haven't alcohol in over a year.
Speaker 2: I did just celebrate a year of sobriety and congratulations, really.
Speaker 3: A year sober from alcohol. And the reason why I
Speaker 3: wrote in with the sobriety was because in my sobriety journey,
Speaker 3: I then realized more about what happened, honestly, because my
Speaker 3: expectations of you during your sobriety, I mean, I have
Speaker 3: an expectation as I'm watching right, so she's sober, why
Speaker 3: is she acting like that? And that was something that
Speaker 3: like it during my own sobriety, I was like, WHOA,
Speaker 3: I'm acting in certain ways? Why am I acting like that?
Speaker 3: I'm not drinking, why am I acting like so? It's
Speaker 3: just it's been such a big learning curve of like
Speaker 3: introspection and then also just like realizing others different realities.
Speaker 3: I've always been like a feeler, but I just feel
Speaker 3: like it's let me. I've opened up and like unlocked
Speaker 3: a new layer of my empathy, which is very cool.
Speaker 3: If that makes sense.
Speaker 2: It makes all the sense. Okay, I get everything you're
Speaker 2: putting down right now because I'm in it with you.
Speaker 3: Bring up the Haters episode because it does connect to
Speaker 3: the sobriety, which is like, if I were to watch
Speaker 3: that now, ooh, my mindset would be so different, the
Speaker 3: expectations would be so so.
Speaker 2: Different due to your path in giving up drinking. Yes,
Speaker 2: that is you know, there have been many moments where
Speaker 2: I've been a dry drunk, and those moments are still
Speaker 2: alive and well where I have to check myself. And
Speaker 2: it was interesting during that entire season that there were
Speaker 2: some women that were sober and said, I know exactly
Speaker 2: what she's doing right now. This is step five, this
Speaker 2: is step four, this is step nine.
Speaker 1: And I wish that.
Speaker 2: Van under Pump rules would have captured more of my
Speaker 2: sobriety and what goes into it, because it's not just
Speaker 2: I wake up and don't drink. There's a lot of
Speaker 2: things I'm held accountable, whether it's on camera or not.
Speaker 2: I have a sponsor that I go to and I
Speaker 2: it's I'm in constant conflict because everything that I practice
Speaker 2: in my sobriety to God into the world is counterintuitive
Speaker 2: of what I do for a living, and it is
Speaker 2: a mind fuck. And there are so many times Sorry.
Speaker 3: Oh it's okay, I have goosebumps. I want you to
Speaker 3: know I feel what you're saying.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Like at.
Speaker 2: Night when I come home from filming and things, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, I know that, like I spoke my truth
Speaker 2: and things like that, and I know that, like this
Speaker 2: is my real life, and I know that this is
Speaker 2: also entertainment, but I feel like I'm I'm letting myself
Speaker 2: down and I'm like trying to make it right with God.
Speaker 1: Like I hope you understand.
Speaker 2: It's very confusing at times. So I'm happy that you're
Speaker 2: coming from a place of not drinking and knowing how
Speaker 2: it can be a conflict. Sorry, I did not expect
Speaker 2: that to happen. I should expect it to happen.
Speaker 1: I cry.
Speaker 2: I am a crier by nature. Anyway, there's that. And
Speaker 2: I'm really happy that you called in to talk about
Speaker 2: one of the biggest pieces of my life, which is sobriety.
Speaker 2: It's the most important thing to me. Without it, like,
Speaker 2: I can't show it for my kids, I can't provide
Speaker 2: for them. I'm worthless to every single person. So I'm
Speaker 2: so happy that. I mean, your skin alone shows that
Speaker 2: you don't drink. By the way, you've got gorgeous skin
Speaker 2: and hair.
Speaker 3: Well, well, I appreciate that a lot. I love crying.
Speaker 3: I encourage crying As a speech therapist, I encourage all
Speaker 3: of this, like express yourself. Okay, sometimes we don't have
Speaker 3: the words cry, that's us feeling. We're on a spinning
Speaker 3: rock in space. So if we can feel for a moment.
Speaker 3: I love that. Online I go by Connection Queen, because
Speaker 3: I actually like connecting people. This is real life. Yeah,
Speaker 3: this is a connection. So that being said, you know,
Speaker 3: sobriety for me also kind of leads into my life
Speaker 3: as a speech therapist. I started to really focus more
Speaker 3: with my free time of not planning outfits and makeup
Speaker 3: and where you know, now I have to go to
Speaker 3: the grocery store and grab alcohol and then prep the
Speaker 3: drinks and YadA, YadA, YadA. Right now I get to
Speaker 3: actually like focus on things that matter the most to me,
Speaker 3: which is my health, my family, and I call them
Speaker 3: my families, the families that I work with. I'm a
Speaker 3: really big advocate because special needs is it's prevalent, it's
Speaker 3: here and everything. I was at Bravocan you were on
Speaker 3: stage with Britney cart right for the Valley one of
Speaker 3: the interviews, and that was a moment during my sobriety journey.
Speaker 3: I was celebrating a year like two weeks later that
Speaker 3: I was like, oh my gosh. In the past, I
Speaker 3: would like take a shot or something to ask the room.
Speaker 3: There was a lot of people in that room. Yea,
Speaker 3: I know, I talk to people every day, but it's
Speaker 3: a little different, you know, when you're in front of people.
Speaker 3: And that was when I was like, no, you're just
Speaker 3: going to take your deep breaths. You're gonna think about
Speaker 3: your question because you got this, and that was so empowering.
Speaker 3: I was like, yoh, new level unlocked. It's just like
Speaker 3: I don't know how to explain it other than like
Speaker 3: if you know, you know, if I know there's something
Speaker 3: like that where yeah, like in the past, I would
Speaker 3: have had to rely on this as a crutch. Now
Speaker 3: it's like, nope, I am the crutch. It's me baby.
Speaker 3: We got to do this.
Speaker 1: I'm just so happy for you.
Speaker 3: Thank you. No, it feels good.
Speaker 2: I wish I could show people, because you do start
Speaker 2: to think like, oh my gosh, if I give up drinking,
Speaker 2: am I going to know how to like connect with people,
Speaker 2: talk to people? Am I going to be interesting? And
Speaker 2: I sometimes when people have come to me to you know,
Speaker 2: trying to get sober, I'm like, you, drinking is not interesting,
Speaker 2: it's sad, it's there.
Speaker 3: How else to explain it other than this is just
Speaker 3: the behavior that you've adopted into your every day and
Speaker 3: until you really like take a second. But I do
Speaker 3: feel like we have to be the ones to do it.
Speaker 3: I've had so many different things happen in my life
Speaker 3: where people have brought it up to me, and I
Speaker 3: just have been so ignorant, naive, selfish, I don't know
Speaker 3: what to call it, genuinely, but I didn't see it.
Speaker 1: I weren't ready.
Speaker 3: I just wasn't ready. Yeah, it was not there, Like
Speaker 3: even if they held the picture in front of me,
Speaker 3: I'd be like, nope, it's blue, not green. So until
Speaker 3: I was in that place mensally where I was like,
Speaker 3: all right, actually I'm curious. Now I've done my twenties drinking,
Speaker 3: I want to know what it's like in my thirties
Speaker 3: to not drink. That was just an idea that I had.
Speaker 3: That's how it happened. And then I just said I
Speaker 3: want to keep I want to be thirty thirty, my
Speaker 3: thirtieth birthday no alcohol. And now it's just something that
Speaker 3: I'm going to keep doing. I enjoy it. I like
Speaker 3: the Miranda I'm becoming every year. I mean, it's just different.
Speaker 3: It's just different.
Speaker 2: I'm very very happy for you, and you know exactly
Speaker 2: where to find me if you ever need an uplifting
Speaker 2: you know, DM, I've got.
Speaker 3: You think you know. I appreciate that. And also like,
Speaker 3: this isn't the first transformation I've had. I used to
Speaker 3: be two hundred and fifty pounds. I had weight loss
Speaker 3: surgery almost like nine year years ago. Yeah, the first. Yeah,
Speaker 3: that was the first transformation that Miranda had. It took
Speaker 3: Miranda almost a decade to come to this new level.
Speaker 3: But that's why I'm like each year kind of throughout
Speaker 3: that journey, I learned so much about myself that's incredible.
Speaker 3: So it's just cool, Like I really do encourage people
Speaker 3: to change. Like, I know it could be scary and stuff,
Speaker 3: but it is. It's such a good feeling. There's no word.
Speaker 3: I don't have a word for it. It's just a feeling,
Speaker 3: you know.
Speaker 2: No. But I'm excited for people to see this video
Speaker 2: because I think you can just tell, like from what
Speaker 2: you're exuding right now, I get like, yeah, you get
Speaker 2: giddy and you're very You're just alive. And I am
Speaker 2: digging everything that you're saying. So I think you're a
Speaker 2: walking testimonial to what taking your life by the ovaries
Speaker 2: and you know saying this isn't working for me anymore.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to make a change. And you know
Speaker 2: what I always say, I reserve the right to change
Speaker 2: how I feel today tomorrow if I feel differently. If
Speaker 2: you are not here to tell me if that's right, wrong,
Speaker 2: or point it out to me, I'm well aware what
Speaker 2: once worked now doesn't and tomorrow could be different.
Speaker 3: I and didn't get that until I got sober from alcohol.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: It's pretty incredible, right yes.
Speaker 3: And now, like that's the part of the empathy I'm
Speaker 3: talking about, because with that you're able to then empathize
Speaker 3: and go, oh well, maybe it didn't work for them today.
Speaker 3: But if we don't have that awareness, how could I
Speaker 3: even id at a thought like that?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 2: No, you're you're a smart bitch, and thank you for
Speaker 2: all the work that you do helping families advocating for them.
Speaker 3: Yes, please, parents know you're right. Parents have so many
Speaker 3: rights for their kids, and school districts don't want you
Speaker 3: to know about it. So please, if any parents have
Speaker 3: any questions, please please let me know. I will do
Speaker 3: pro bono work and help families out because it's my
Speaker 3: life's mission to help families, especially as a speech language
Speaker 3: pathologist with speech cases. You know, IEPs are scary, So please,
Speaker 3: if we could use a little piece of this to
Speaker 3: just you know, help advocate about special needs, the IEP,
Speaker 3: the school districts, all of that, it would mean the
Speaker 3: world to me.
Speaker 1: What is your handle? Where can people find you?
Speaker 4: So?
Speaker 3: Yes, my handle is Connection Queen. I definitely talk about
Speaker 3: a lot of reality TV stuff. I am in the
Speaker 3: works right now of coming up with a new platform
Speaker 3: where I can actually like help just you know, streamline
Speaker 3: education and advocacy for special needs.
Speaker 1: For sure, you're an incredible person. We're very grateful.
Speaker 3: Thank you. No, I appreciate that, Lava so so much.
Speaker 3: Thank you, thanks for letting me come on and just ramble, and.
Speaker 1: You're always most welcome. You're a part of the pod.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love that. Thank you, No, seriously, though,
Speaker 3: I do appreciate it and what you've done and share
Speaker 3: your life. Not many people could do so as much
Speaker 3: as all of us yap online about it. It's like
Speaker 3: to be able to say to you, like, thanks for sharing,
Speaker 3: thanks for letting me talk my online. I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: You're so welcome, You're very very cool.
Speaker 3: Please end my sessions by the way with my students
Speaker 3: two thumbs up, round of applause and a heart. So
Speaker 3: I'm gonna do the same for you.
Speaker 1: I love it, baby, Thank you so much. We'll be
Speaker 1: in touch. I'm going to hit you up.
Speaker 5: Thanks.
Speaker 3: Yes, if any of your friends have questions, let me
Speaker 3: know with the.
Speaker 2: Kids, definitely bybe able Kristin, Hello, gorgeous, Like you are.
Speaker 6: So good at taking accountability for the things that you've
Speaker 6: done and the journey that you've been on. And I
Speaker 6: also think that it's a lot of people are casting
Speaker 6: judgment that haven't walked them out on your shoes. And
Speaker 6: I think it's really easy for people to be able
Speaker 6: to tell you what you should do when they haven't
Speaker 6: done any of.
Speaker 1: It, you know what. I feel like?
Speaker 2: That's kind of life though, right, Like every every situation
Speaker 2: is so nuanced, and there's so many ins and outs
Speaker 2: of life, and then you take into account how someone
Speaker 2: was raised, like their upbringing and things that they experienced
Speaker 2: as a child that they may have carried into adulthood,
Speaker 2: and it's just so complex. And I had like reading
Speaker 2: the hate comments, the beef comments, and seeing such an
Speaker 2: overwhelming amount of people who were asking to do this episode,
Speaker 2: like let us show you love, let us give you
Speaker 2: your flowers. It was such a moment of like I
Speaker 2: really put which I haven't.
Speaker 1: I haven't always done.
Speaker 2: This is the more recent in the last couple of
Speaker 2: years where I fixate on the hateful comments and I
Speaker 2: forget about all of the people who really have rocked
Speaker 2: hard with me and had constructive criticism, which I always welcome.
Speaker 2: And during season eleven, You're gonna die the amount of
Speaker 2: messages my mom got showing me love and then at
Speaker 2: the end saying, if you choose to share this, please
Speaker 2: don't mention my name.
Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, I am so alone.
Speaker 4: And that's unfair and it shouldn't be that way.
Speaker 6: And I'm so thankful as a viewer that you've been
Speaker 6: vulnerable and shared some really hard things, because some of
Speaker 6: the things that you've walked through aren't things that are
Speaker 6: talked about.
Speaker 4: And so for those people out there that.
Speaker 6: Are listening and that are watching you go through these things,
Speaker 6: not that it gives them a roadmap of what they
Speaker 6: should do, but it gives them the feeling of not
Speaker 6: being alone and not being isolated.
Speaker 4: And I'm just so.
Speaker 6: Grateful that you've shared your journey and the things that
Speaker 6: you've gone through. I know I wrote in a little
Speaker 6: about my story, but I think it helps like connect
Speaker 6: the dots a little bit.
Speaker 2: If you will, Can you share I know your message,
Speaker 2: but I also want our listeners to know your story.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so I guess it really starts in twenty thirteen.
Speaker 6: We have my family had a car accident. My two
Speaker 6: daughters and I were involved in that. My daughter, Aubrey
Speaker 6: was eight months old at the time, and she passed
Speaker 6: away pretty quickly. We got to the hospital and they
Speaker 6: told us there was essentially nothing that they could do.
Speaker 6: We just had to wait for God to take.
Speaker 4: Her from us.
Speaker 6: Essentially, our other daughter, Brooke, was four, and she was
Speaker 6: intubated on the scene.
Speaker 4: She was fighting for her life.
Speaker 6: The girls couldn't be in the same room because of
Speaker 6: their needs, so they were separated. And I didn't know
Speaker 6: the severity of Brooks injuries at the time. I sat
Speaker 6: in that hospital room beside my eight month old and
Speaker 6: I just remember praying for God to provide a miracle
Speaker 6: in that moment, and we were watching the monitors and
Speaker 6: her ICP number started to drop, and I really thought
Speaker 6: that was God answering our prayers. And I asked the
Speaker 6: nurse and she said, with tears in her eyes, she said, no, honey, unfortunately,
Speaker 6: her brain has gone down into her spinal column and
Speaker 6: that's why that number has gone down. And she just
Speaker 6: had sat with me and listened all night to my story,
Speaker 6: our life with our girls.
Speaker 4: I was still breastfeeding, we were co sleeping. So she
Speaker 4: in that moment, she.
Speaker 6: Walked out and she got a regular hospital bed and
Speaker 6: she wheeled it into that room and she got my
Speaker 6: daughter out of that crib and she laid her in
Speaker 6: my arms and I sang her her favorite song, You
Speaker 6: Are My Sunshine, and before I finished that song, she
Speaker 6: had passed away, and in the midst of all of that,
Speaker 6: my other daughter was still fighting for her life. And
Speaker 6: I prayed reverently that if God were going to take her,
Speaker 6: that he would take them so they could go into
Speaker 6: eternity together, and also selfishly so I didn't have to
Speaker 6: walk through that lost twice. But Brooke was a fighter,
Speaker 6: and she fought so hard, and so as she sat
Speaker 6: there in that room fighting, I knew I had to
Speaker 6: fight alongside of her. So the day after Aubrey passed away,
Speaker 6: found out that Brooke had a spattal cord injury at
Speaker 6: level C three C four, which essentially means that she's
Speaker 6: paralyzed from the neck down. She was unable to breathe
Speaker 6: on her own. She needed a ventilator to breathe for her.
Speaker 6: She was on two feeds for nutrition. She had to
Speaker 6: have a pacemaker place because her heart continued to stop
Speaker 6: when she was getting respiratory treatments. She had to have
Speaker 6: a cervical shunt place because she also had a severe
Speaker 6: brain injury in the accident like her sister did, and.
Speaker 4: That cervical shunt maintained the pressure around her brain.
Speaker 6: She rehabbed and did really well In the beginning, they
Speaker 6: told us that she was not going to progress beyond
Speaker 6: her four year old state, that she was going to
Speaker 6: need a passy mirror valve to speak over her trake
Speaker 6: and vent. They told us that she'd likely never eat
Speaker 6: again on her own. They didn't think that she was
Speaker 6: going to grow cognitively like I said. They didn't think
Speaker 6: she was going to remember her sister that had passed.
Speaker 6: They were wrong about every single thing they told us.
Speaker 6: Brooke was able to eat on her own before we
Speaker 6: left the hospital. She had full feeling from her neck down.
Speaker 6: Despite her level of injury. She was talking before we
Speaker 6: ever left the hospital. She learned how to drive her
Speaker 6: power wheelchair expertly with her head. She continued dance after
Speaker 6: we discharged from the hospital, and she even competed. She
Speaker 6: was the very first event patient at this ranch that's
Speaker 6: local to us, Wings of Eagles Ranch, and they put
Speaker 6: her on a horse and a rider sat behind her
Speaker 6: and strapped the vent to their back and rode her.
Speaker 6: She lived for a little over three years and she
Speaker 6: started getting pretty sick. We really didn't know what was
Speaker 6: going on. Brooke cervical shut had malfunctioned, so she needed
Speaker 6: to have surgery to replace that. She was terrified. I mean,
Speaker 6: she was seven years old and had faced undeniable odds
Speaker 6: and had beat every single one of them. She had
Speaker 6: a spirit like no other. I mean, our entire community
Speaker 6: rallied around her. She had more faith than any grown
Speaker 6: adult I've ever met. She was only seven. She taught
Speaker 6: me a lot about life. She did not want to
Speaker 6: have that surgery. She told us she was afraid to die.
Speaker 6: It was supposed to be an outpatient procedure. She had
Speaker 6: the procedure done. She came out of the surgery fine.
Speaker 6: She was awake and talking. We had had another baby
Speaker 6: in that timeframe, and I had to go home.
Speaker 4: To be with her because it was flu season.
Speaker 6: She wasn't allowed to be at the hospital on the floor,
Speaker 6: and I was still breastfeeding, so I went home to
Speaker 6: be with her. My husband's stayed at a hospital with Brook,
Speaker 6: and things just took a turn for the worst. Unfortunately,
Speaker 6: the cirvicle shunt was not working, and all the signs
Speaker 6: that would typically point to a shunt malfunction would be
Speaker 6: lowered heart rate, decrease in respirations, and a change in
Speaker 6: mental clarity. Brooke had a pacemaker, so her heart was
Speaker 6: never going to go below sixty beats per minute. She
Speaker 6: was unable to breathe on her own, so her respirations
Speaker 6: were never going to decrease beyond what the event would
Speaker 6: give her. And after surgery, she had complained of being
Speaker 6: in pain, and when I pulled her medical records, she
Speaker 6: had received more pain medication than she should have. There's
Speaker 6: a lot the more that went into that story, but
Speaker 6: ultimately Brooke did not make it and she was declared
Speaker 6: brain dead.
Speaker 4: The next day.
Speaker 6: Our family decided to donate Brook's organs because Brooke was
Speaker 6: the most giving person I know, and I have no
Speaker 6: doubt that had she been there standing beside me, she
Speaker 6: would have said, mom, if it can help somebody else live,
Speaker 6: I want to do it. If it can help another
Speaker 6: mommy or daddy not feel what you're feeling, then I
Speaker 6: want to be able to do that. And Brooke was
Speaker 6: able to save several children and adults lives with her
Speaker 6: organ donation, which was beautiful for us. And as you
Speaker 6: can imagine grief, you had your own journey with your
Speaker 6: loss of your father. Everyone responds very differently to grief,
Speaker 6: and everybody's journey is very personal. And I am not
Speaker 6: one to say how anybody should grieve.
Speaker 4: My husband and I responded very differently.
Speaker 6: I really leaned into therapy and going to church, and
Speaker 6: he tried therapy and it just wasn't for him. He
Speaker 6: felt like he failed his little girl because he promised
Speaker 6: he was going to bring her home and he didn't,
Speaker 6: and he didn't know how to deal with that. So
Speaker 6: his pain and grief turned to alcohol, where mine was
Speaker 6: I leaned in in a way to honor the girls
Speaker 6: in a positive way. He just struggled, and we faced
Speaker 6: a lot of criticism from the people that had supported us,
Speaker 6: that knew what was going on, just because of his
Speaker 6: walk and his path, and I'm not going to it
Speaker 6: was really scary at times. I contemplated divorce for quite
Speaker 6: a while. In North Carolina, the custody laws are very
Speaker 6: difficult to navigate. You have to be first of all,
Speaker 6: you have to be legally separated for a year before
Speaker 6: you can file for divorce, and they're very pro both
Speaker 6: parents having equal rights. I know several people that I've
Speaker 6: gone to court with proven sexual abuse, proven physical abuse,
Speaker 6: and still had to share custody with their former spouse.
Speaker 6: So while we were going through this really dark time,
Speaker 6: it was something I felt like I couldn't. I was
Speaker 6: being judged for not just walking away, but in my mind,
Speaker 6: walking away in that moment wasn't protecting my kids either,
Speaker 6: and that was really difficult for me to walk through
Speaker 6: and to have to deal with the judgment of other
Speaker 6: people that had no idea what we were going through,
Speaker 6: had no idea what he was going through. And while
Speaker 6: I'm not making excuses for him whatsoever, there's never a
Speaker 6: reason to go down that path and to stay there.
Speaker 6: I lost those two girls too, and I know how
Speaker 6: hard it's been for me, so it's hard for me
Speaker 6: to stand in judgment of that. And also during that time,
Speaker 6: to compound all of that, my mom was also an
Speaker 6: alcoholic and she was very abusive. My grandparents raised me
Speaker 6: from the point of twelve years until I graduated high school.
Speaker 6: My biological father was not in the picture. I later
Speaker 6: found out that he was in jail for murder, so
Speaker 6: I just.
Speaker 4: Did not have that family unit.
Speaker 6: My grandparents were amazing, they really were, but we don't
Speaker 6: live near them anymore. We're eight and a half hours away,
Speaker 6: So eight and a half hours away, isolated, really going
Speaker 6: through it and facing judgment from the people that I
Speaker 6: considered my community and that was really hard and it
Speaker 6: changed a lot in me. And I've seen you walk
Speaker 6: through a lot of that. I've seen you be vulnerable,
Speaker 6: I've seen you be real. I've seen you be honest
Speaker 6: with struggles you face and say, hey, I'm not perfect,
Speaker 6: but I'm waking up every day and trying my best
Speaker 6: and I'm trying to be a better version than I
Speaker 6: was yesterday. And I think you deserve credit for that
Speaker 6: because I know that pain and you're doing amazing. The
Speaker 6: fact that you have been able to stay sober and
Speaker 6: have fault, that fault seeing someone fight that I can't
Speaker 6: even imagine, just from the family member's perspective. I know
Speaker 6: how much pain that is to carry, so I can't
Speaker 6: imagine what it's like for you every single day.
Speaker 4: You know.
Speaker 2: Just listening to your story, I mean, I feel like,
Speaker 2: and I've said this before, I feel like, because I
Speaker 2: believe in God, that's my higher power. And I don't
Speaker 2: consider myself I consider myself to be spiritual, but I
Speaker 2: was raised with Christianity, and you know, me and God
Speaker 2: are really thick. And I think we come to this
Speaker 2: planet and it's within us that when our parents and die.
Speaker 2: We know how to handle that grief. You know, it's
Speaker 2: just the circle of life, you losing two children. Sorry,
Speaker 2: I find you to be very inspiring that you leaped
Speaker 2: into your faith.
Speaker 1: Even when I lost my dad. I did not do that.
Speaker 1: I turned to alcohol.
Speaker 2: And the fact that you have faced what you faced
Speaker 2: and sent me a message praising me. I'm very humbled
Speaker 2: by this conversation, and I really appreciate because I can't
Speaker 2: even imagine what you faced.
Speaker 6: It was unbearable. I don't know else to put in.
Speaker 6: You don't know until you've walked through, and you don't
Speaker 6: know what you can handle until you have to either.
Speaker 6: When Aubrey passed, I had no choice but to rally
Speaker 6: because I had this four year old little girl that
Speaker 6: was beautifully fighting for a chance at a meaningful life,
Speaker 6: and despite her limitations, I believe we gave that to her.
Speaker 6: But when we lost her, I kind of lost my purpose. Honestly,
Speaker 6: I'd gone to school to be a teacher. Everything about
Speaker 6: me was my kids. Like I mentioned, we had another
Speaker 6: daughter after the accident. She's now ten. We've since had
Speaker 6: a son. He's six and amazing, but all boy in
Speaker 6: trouble trouble trouble, and I decided to go back to
Speaker 6: school to become a nurse and actually work at the
Speaker 6: hospital that my daughter was treated and also passed away at.
Speaker 2: So wow, I'm just I mean, God, bless you and
Speaker 2: your family. I truly cannot imagine. And I am so
Speaker 2: just grateful that you reached out to me. When you
Speaker 2: hear stories like this, it really puts life into perspective.
Speaker 2: All of these things that we care about are just
Speaker 2: so meaningless when you think about the larger picture. I
Speaker 2: truly don't even know what to say to you, except
Speaker 2: I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you, But
Speaker 2: I also find you to be extremely inspiring and I'm
Speaker 2: just I'm going to pray for you guys.
Speaker 4: Thank you Ella.
Speaker 6: If I can just leave you with one thing my
Speaker 6: pastor shared with me in those early days, and I
Speaker 6: just I've seen it. I've seen it come full circle.
Speaker 6: I've seen it the truth in it, and I believe
Speaker 6: it and I know it's true for you too. God
Speaker 6: doesn't waste to hurt, even the really really big ones. Yep.
Speaker 2: Oh, You're an incredible Thank you so much for taking
Speaker 2: time to write me. Thank you so much for taking
Speaker 2: time to sit here with me and share your story.
Speaker 2: I'm sending you so much love and I feel very
Speaker 2: proud to have you a part of my pod like
Speaker 2: my orchipod, but also a part of this podcast.
Speaker 4: Thank you, I appreciate it.
Speaker 1: You're welcome, my love.
Speaker 4: Have a good day you too.
Speaker 1: Bye. Hey, George, Hi, how are you? I'm good?
Speaker 3: How are you?
Speaker 5: I'm great. It's so nice to meet you.
Speaker 1: It's so nice to meet you too.
Speaker 2: I'm so thrilled that you wrote in I heard that
Speaker 2: you won one of the lip giveaways like back in
Speaker 2: the day.
Speaker 5: Yeah, back in the day.
Speaker 7: What is that like twenty twenty it was one of
Speaker 7: the lip duos. Yeah, yeah, I got all of them.
Speaker 7: They're amazing, you know what.
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you like them. Let me tell you,
Speaker 2: I I'm so proud of that brand, even though it's
Speaker 2: no longer the only once you I've learned now when
Speaker 2: you get into a business relationship, it's like a marriage, right, Absolutely,
Speaker 2: you better fuck hard with that person for real, for real.
Speaker 7: And it's so much dedicated time, like oh you can't.
Speaker 7: You can't give it any free time, no away from it.
Speaker 2: So I'm hoping that you know the reason it was
Speaker 2: dissolved was because we just weren't on the same page,
Speaker 2: me and my partners.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so I'm like, all right, so.
Speaker 2: Let's just call it a day here, recreate, start from scratch,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, this is exhausting.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 7: Well, it's funny you say that, because I also feel
Speaker 7: like that's what kind of brought me back to you
Speaker 7: in the podcast after your Haters episode that you recently did,
Speaker 7: was understanding the evolution of like friendships and how in
Speaker 7: a moment of time, I may not have agreed with something,
Speaker 7: but at the end of the day, you're still You're
Speaker 7: still a lala. You're like still my bitch, you know.
Speaker 7: And so it's one of those things where it's just like, Okay,
Speaker 7: this is the person that I connected with back when
Speaker 7: you first came on vander Pomp and then you and
Speaker 7: I actually are very similar. We have two kids and
Speaker 7: they're both very similar in age. So, like I think
Speaker 7: Ocean's like a February baby, right.
Speaker 1: She'll be she'll be five in March.
Speaker 7: Yeah, so my oldest just turned five in December, So
Speaker 7: like that's another connection point for us, is like we
Speaker 7: both had our kids during like that COVID period where
Speaker 7: totally isolating, and then my second baby is a May
Speaker 7: twenty twenty four, and I think Sosa is like September right,
Speaker 7: so very close in age, so like it's almost like
Speaker 7: that automatic connection, you know, like, right, you understand everything
Speaker 7: that I was going through. I understood what you were
Speaker 7: going through, And even though we've never met, just having
Speaker 7: that connection point is just like a really nice thing.
Speaker 2: Well, I think that that's what's so great about reality
Speaker 2: television is obviously you know, we're putting our lives out
Speaker 2: there and we get a lot of criticism, and the
Speaker 2: criticism I shouldn't even call it that hate because I'm
Speaker 2: open to criticism, like you have something productive to share
Speaker 2: with me, you know, I'm in it. So I'm always
Speaker 2: into like a thirty thousand foot perspective on my life,
Speaker 2: like how can we shift, how can we do better?
Speaker 1: The hate is so loud, but when you get into.
Speaker 2: The nitty gritty of it all, there's so many people
Speaker 2: who are watching that we connect with, right, And when
Speaker 2: I did the hater episode, which I thought was going
Speaker 2: to be wild, I was like, Oh, we're going to.
Speaker 1: Get so fucking many. I've seen the comment section.
Speaker 2: It was like crickets and I was like, where are
Speaker 2: you guys.
Speaker 5: Because it's easy to hide bind a keyboard.
Speaker 1: Are they yes exactly.
Speaker 2: I was like, we can go Toe's face to face
Speaker 2: and like, I'm actually not that scary, Like I'm not
Speaker 2: scary at all. I'm actually a pretty fucking cool Oh bitch.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And then we aired the Hater episode and so many
Speaker 2: people were dming and sending so much love and it
Speaker 2: made me feel Obviously everybody loves love, but it made
Speaker 2: me want to do this because it's not just about me,
Speaker 2: Like I want to know who is sharing their lives
Speaker 2: in the reality TV space, who has helped you through
Speaker 2: a hard time, Because at the end of the day,
Speaker 2: we're filming our lives and it sounds cool and it's amazing,
Speaker 2: but it's very isolating.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and to see such a small part of our lives.
Speaker 2: And you know, I was just talking about this, I
Speaker 2: have to separate my reality from my reality because I
Speaker 2: can share what I'm going through, but what I'm going
Speaker 2: through may not be that interesting to people watching, and
Speaker 2: I have no say over what's interesting.
Speaker 1: It can be chopped and screwed.
Speaker 2: And then you watch people and the comment section, they're like, oh,
Speaker 2: this person has no storyline.
Speaker 1: But then if my life goes to shit, I created.
Speaker 2: It for a storyline, So you can't win there either,
Speaker 2: you know, and it just becomes a lot.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So it's it is the things.
Speaker 2: Like motherhood, like you were saying, where it's like, okay,
Speaker 2: I understand this person.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I think I think the other part of
Speaker 5: reality TV too.
Speaker 7: It gives you an outlet, right, it gives you the
Speaker 7: ability because I know that you watch like Ronnie is
Speaker 7: like your go to right, Like you just kick back
Speaker 7: and watch old episodes of Ronny and like that's your thing.
Speaker 5: It's an escape for you.
Speaker 7: So even though you are so close and in reality TV,
Speaker 7: it's an escape for you because you know, even though
Speaker 7: you live such an amazing life and you are are
Speaker 7: so privileged and blessed in your own life, the level
Speaker 7: of like being a housewife is like it's another level.
Speaker 1: Right, It's just fabulous decodance.
Speaker 7: And like dripping with diamonds, you know, And it's just
Speaker 7: such a an entertaining thing to watch, and you watch
Speaker 7: it to see and almost gain perspective of what are
Speaker 7: they dealing with because even though they are living fabulous,
Speaker 7: amazing lives, they too deal with struggles right right, How
Speaker 7: are they navigating it?
Speaker 5: How do they navigate conflict?
Speaker 7: And you know, as someone that's I kind of am
Speaker 7: very extroverted, I'm very out there. I also don't like
Speaker 7: conflict though, And so watching you or like a Bethany
Speaker 7: Frankel or Heather Gay go through conflict, you you get
Speaker 7: these little nuggets and you're able to like.
Speaker 5: Apply that to your actual life and to my work.
Speaker 7: And I don't know, it's just it's really it's really
Speaker 7: helpful in that way.
Speaker 2: I love that you have Just I always say people
Speaker 2: who watch reality TV, you have to appreciate the art
Speaker 2: of it. Yeah, very much so, and you fucking do.
Speaker 2: And Heather Gay, when I watch her, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: I wish that I could convey myself.
Speaker 1: She uses like these big words and like rounds out
Speaker 1: her points so well. I'm like, how do I do that?
Speaker 1: She's so good?
Speaker 7: But you do you do it in a way that
Speaker 7: is bold and out there, Like I think, I don't
Speaker 7: know if you feel this way, but you know your
Speaker 7: character arc if you will. Throughout your time on vander
Speaker 7: Pump and now transitioning to the Valley and your journey
Speaker 7: through sobriety, there's still this constant of bold lalla right,
Speaker 7: and sure there's ups and downs in your relationships.
Speaker 5: But at the core, you are still who you have
Speaker 5: always been.
Speaker 7: You're not afraid to go toes with someone, You're not
Speaker 7: afraid to challenge the status quo and call out some
Speaker 7: bullshit like it doesn't matter. You have just been very
Speaker 7: consistent throughout your existence on reality TV.
Speaker 5: And sure friendships come and go, but that's.
Speaker 7: Life, right Like who I am today doesn't mean I'm
Speaker 7: saying I'm friends with the same people. We're moms now.
Speaker 7: I have lots of friends that are not moms and
Speaker 7: are not married. They don't get it. We're just not
Speaker 7: in the same period of life at this point. So
Speaker 7: it's just it's changed. But at the same time, I'm
Speaker 7: still Jasmine, like I'm still myself.
Speaker 1: Talking to you is very refreshing.
Speaker 2: I just want to say that, yes, you just talking
Speaker 2: has brought me a lot of peace right now, so
Speaker 2: I want to thank you for that. I think you
Speaker 2: get it the nuances of life and you watching. I
Speaker 2: appreciate that there are people like you who are watching.
Speaker 2: That gives me hope going into the Valley, which they
Speaker 2: have now announced that I'll be a full time cast
Speaker 2: member on I think people are excited, but I think
Speaker 2: that the hate is loud, and there are people who
Speaker 2: are not excited always. And I'm nervous. I have never
Speaker 2: been nervous about how people will view me, and after
Speaker 2: my last season on vander Pump Rules, I'm really fucking nervous.
Speaker 7: I get that, and I think it's it's very and
Speaker 7: self aware of you to be nervous, right. I would
Speaker 7: be worried if you weren't nervous, right, just because that
Speaker 7: hate is so loud. But I think the beautiful thing
Speaker 7: about shows like vander Pump and The Valley and Summer
Speaker 7: House and things like that, you guys are like legit
Speaker 7: friends like that is your friend group. And so even
Speaker 7: though the haters may be loud, you can rely on
Speaker 7: your friend group and you're going through the same.
Speaker 5: Experience at the same time.
Speaker 7: And even though some things may be divisive and some
Speaker 7: people might look at your last season of vander Pump
Speaker 7: Rules as like she just took like a sledgehammer to
Speaker 7: every single relationship she had, I think it was a
Speaker 7: moment of growth for you, right, It was a moment
Speaker 7: of I need to reevaluate where I am and grow
Speaker 7: from there.
Speaker 5: And you did that right.
Speaker 7: I mean, you recognize that you were just in a
Speaker 7: very dark place with he who shall not be named,
Speaker 7: and you decide. I think it is so bold and
Speaker 7: amazing that you have decided to go forward with having
Speaker 7: Sosa by yourself.
Speaker 5: I mean, what a badass, bitch move.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 5: I have a husband and I'm over here struggling with
Speaker 5: two kids.
Speaker 7: Okay, like it' hmm it is not okay over here,
Speaker 7: like especially with two boys.
Speaker 5: Let me tell.
Speaker 1: You, Yeah, they rock your world. Man, I can only
Speaker 1: imagine it is.
Speaker 5: Not for the week.
Speaker 7: Although listening to your stories about Ocean, she gives you
Speaker 7: a run for your money.
Speaker 1: Yeah she does.
Speaker 5: It's a trip. But I think at the end of
Speaker 5: the day, you going into the valley.
Speaker 7: I'm excited to see you back on my screen consistency, consistently.
Speaker 7: I think it is just going to be. It's gonna
Speaker 7: be like old Farander prompt days.
Speaker 5: I hate to say it.
Speaker 1: But like I love that.
Speaker 7: That's the hope that I mean, that is what it's
Speaker 7: going to be. Like you you have your your friend group.
Speaker 7: It's not manufactured, it's not fake. It's those are your friends.
Speaker 7: Those are your girls like you got Shortzy in there.
Speaker 5: I know it's going to be great.
Speaker 7: I think you just need to remember how much love
Speaker 7: is behind you from like people out here that are
Speaker 7: not in reality TV.
Speaker 5: There is our love should outweigh the haters.
Speaker 2: Jasmine, I fuck with you so hard. I am so
Speaker 2: appreciative that you wrote in I'm so happy that you're
Speaker 2: on my screen.
Speaker 1: You are a bad bitch.
Speaker 2: You have made me feel amazing. Everybody loves some love,
Speaker 2: and I hope you know how much.
Speaker 5: It means to me, absolutely, and I am so grateful
Speaker 5: for the opportunity, so thank you.
Speaker 2: Of course, give your boys some love. I will, and
Speaker 2: I hope you enjoy season three of The Valley.
Speaker 5: I can't wait. I can't wait to see it.
Speaker 1: I love it. Write in comment tell me what you think.
Speaker 5: I will and maybe we'll do this again. Sometimes happy
Speaker 5: to be in LA and meet you, and.
Speaker 1: I would love that you know where to find me.
Speaker 2: Girl.
Speaker 1: You slide on my DMS and we'll talk. I will
Speaker 1: all right, love you, lave all right, love you babe.
Speaker 1: Bye Hye.
Speaker 2: Wow you guys, I am feeling all of the fields.
Speaker 2: I am feeling all of the fields. So as you
Speaker 2: guys know, I did the hater episode and we had
Speaker 2: wonderful people write in. They were constructive, they were amazing,
Speaker 2: they were down to go toes. And then we got
Speaker 2: we got a lot of people writing and asking to
Speaker 2: do an episode to kind of show me some love.
Speaker 2: And I know that you guys have watched me for
Speaker 2: many years on television. I think you see a different
Speaker 2: side of me when we do the podcast. This is
Speaker 2: like my safe space with my pod. I felt really
Speaker 2: weird about it. I'm like, I don't know if I
Speaker 2: want to do an episode where it's just like tooting
Speaker 2: my horn and giving me love. So the reasoning for
Speaker 2: this is I want people to be able to give
Speaker 2: flowers where they are due. We have so many shows
Speaker 2: that are reality based where everyone is putting their lives
Speaker 2: out there and living their authentic lives, the good, the bad,
Speaker 2: the ugly. We see them in peace, we see them
Speaker 2: in disarray. We watched their homes go from happy to
Speaker 2: oh my god, we're getting divorced, and my life looks
Speaker 2: different like we're with them watching. And I find it
Speaker 2: very important because the comment section can be hateful and
Speaker 2: judgmental and loud and unfucking productive, but to see the
Speaker 2: amount of love I had in the DMS. I want
Speaker 2: you guys, or wanted you guys to also share and
Speaker 2: make this podcast more about people who are putting their
Speaker 2: lives out there on TV, who you relate to, and.
Speaker 1: We don't get our flowers very often.
Speaker 2: I want people who are on reality TV to get
Speaker 2: their flowers because sometimes those messages go unnoticed.
Speaker 1: So I wanted this to be the platform to do that.
Speaker 2: As much as I love y'all too, I kind of
Speaker 2: wanted to everybody's horn.
Speaker 1: Who's like, really in a.
Speaker 2: Fun position of filming a reality show but getting fucked
Speaker 2: up by that comment section. Man, we know who we
Speaker 2: are until we read the comment section. Then we look
Speaker 2: at the mirror and go, oh shit. I thought I
Speaker 2: was like a pretty bad bitch. I handled shit like
Speaker 2: a champ, but y'all have made me think otherwise. I
Speaker 2: hope you enjoyed this episode just as much as you
Speaker 2: enjoyed the beef episode. I'm gonna catch you guys on
Speaker 2: Monday and again on Wednesday for the regular episode.
Speaker 3: Bye