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Speaker 1: Hello, gorgeous. It's La La Kent.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to Untraditionally, Lala, Hello, gorgeous, Welcome back to Untraditionally Lala.

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Speaker 2: I am hyped out of my effing mind because we

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Speaker 2: are doing the opposite of a hater's podcast today, and

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Speaker 2: we are doing an episode of a lover's podcast.

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Speaker 1: That's right.

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Speaker 2: You guys wrote in you wanted to give me my flowers,

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Speaker 2: you wanted to toot my horn, you wanted to show

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Speaker 2: me some love. And you are rippin' if you think

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Speaker 2: I would say no to that. So I've got three

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Speaker 2: callers on the line. I'm going to zoom in a

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Speaker 2: lot of you guys said on the beef things. You're like,

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Speaker 2: that one's Kristin Doty, that one's this person. You guys,

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Speaker 2: I'm zooming with these people. We're not showing you their

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Speaker 2: faces because we want to protect their privacy, but I

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Speaker 2: see them. There's no one I know on these calls.

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Speaker 2: With that, let's get it popping. With my first caller, Miranda,

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Speaker 2: I'm so nervous.

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Speaker 3: I'm nervous. Don't say that.

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Speaker 1: You're nervous too, Hi, Bibe, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm more nervous for this than I was

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Speaker 2: about having the haters on.

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Speaker 3: Oh that's so funny. I'm like, great, she's saying, she

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Speaker 3: I'm nervous. I'm like talking into my camera because I

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Speaker 3: wanted you to know I am recording on my phone.

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Speaker 3: If that's okay with you.

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Speaker 1: I would love that. That's amazing, like.

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Speaker 3: Behind the scenes. But I'm literally saying like I'm nervous. Okay,

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Speaker 3: here they come. And then that's the first.

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Speaker 1: Thing you say, I know, No, we're right here, We're

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Speaker 1: in sync.

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Speaker 2: It just goes to show that, like I'm so much

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Speaker 2: more comfortable in conflict than I am with like sweetness

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Speaker 2: and softness.

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Speaker 3: Originally, I was supposed to come on for the hater

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Speaker 3: podcast just saying I don't know if you know that. No, okay,

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Speaker 3: Well I reached out about that just because I was like,

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Speaker 3: I have a lot to say to this girl, and

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Speaker 3: like I like her. I used to like her. He

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Speaker 3: ticked me off a little bit, you know that last

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Speaker 3: season whatever, But the sobriety for me has been like

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Speaker 3: the biggest grounding point I guess with my parasocial relationship

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Speaker 3: with you.

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Speaker 1: I'll say, okay, I love this.

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Speaker 3: So I like reached back out and I was like, yo,

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Speaker 3: can I talk with her about sobriety?

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Speaker 2: I would love this. Okay, so you you wanted to

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Speaker 2: or you did reach out for the Haters episode because

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Speaker 2: I ticked you off. Tell me why I ticked you off.

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Speaker 3: It's just this switch up, dude. I was like, I

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Speaker 3: have no idea, like I was such, I am like,

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Speaker 3: I love you, come on your Lalla. And then it

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Speaker 3: was like what happened the girl that like I don't

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Speaker 3: want to say I fully like role modeled you. But

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Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, this is somebody who I actually

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Speaker 3: align with. She knows very confident with herself, and I

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Speaker 3: felt like I had a sense of Lalla in me.

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Speaker 3: So it's like you reached a certain target with people,

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Speaker 3: and then when we assume those roles, right, it's like, Okay,

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Speaker 3: I have this mindset, this headspace. Now I'm giving them

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Speaker 3: Lalla in my every day as Miranda, right, I expected

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Speaker 3: you to then give Lalla all the way like with

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Speaker 3: that me being a Lalla person is like I am

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Speaker 3: and I know you hate the word because I do.

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Speaker 3: Listen girls, girl, but how about just people's person?

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Speaker 1: I love that even more girl.

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Speaker 3: Out of it people's person. I didn't understand it, but

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Speaker 3: there was a lot going on that we all didn't understand. Actually,

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Speaker 3: so I think that, like hindsight's always twenty twenty. But

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Speaker 3: I mean, I've listened. I listened to the Haters podcast

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Speaker 3: and everything you said, your growth is there. I can't

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Speaker 3: hate on somebody who's actively trying to be a better

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Speaker 3: version of themselves every day. So that's why I was like,

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Speaker 3: I'm just I want her to know that. Like I

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Speaker 3: didn't understand that whatsoever, because I really expected you to

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Speaker 3: kind of be there more so for Arianna, I guess,

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Speaker 3: and like I'm a very big vander pump Rolls fan.

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Speaker 3: I mean I watched since the beginning. I moved out

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Speaker 3: to West Hollywood, not because of the show, just because

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Speaker 3: I saw the life and I was like, ooh, I'm

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Speaker 3: a speech therapist. I'm gonna move out there.

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Speaker 1: And so I love this.

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Speaker 3: I made a song for Katie and arian and Sandwich

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Speaker 3: Shop something about that. I don't know if you ever

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Speaker 3: heard it, but anyway, but I'll download it.

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Speaker 1: Why do I get it Spotify?

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Speaker 3: It's a big, big fan. So I always loved you guys.

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Speaker 3: Was very confused at that end, but I think that

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Speaker 3: you had just your own stuff going on, and the

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Speaker 3: other thing is production. They should show I know more

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Speaker 3: of what's going on because you're like having these like

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Speaker 3: attitudes and these energies and like we don't know where

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Speaker 3: it's coming from. So again, while we're watching, I could

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Speaker 3: be so ramped up, but like I'll always be like

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Speaker 3: all right, his side her aside the truth, So like

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Speaker 3: what really went down?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I think that that's you know, I've been

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Speaker 2: doing this for a decade and I have learned to

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Speaker 2: never get married to my own story because even though

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Speaker 2: I am on a reality show, there's a job to do.

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Speaker 1: This is entertainment for people.

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Speaker 2: So I almost have to develop, or I guess, disassociate

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Speaker 2: from my own reality because what I'm sharing may not

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Speaker 2: be interesting enough, it may not make sense because we

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Speaker 2: don't have the time to capture it all. And I

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Speaker 2: have to know that everything I've shared I'm not married to.

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Speaker 2: If people don't know, I hope that they enjoy the show.

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Speaker 2: Season eleven was horrendous and horrible. You listen to the episode.

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Speaker 2: I've said it many times. I I should have never

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Speaker 2: gone back. I should have focused on myself and my

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Speaker 2: kids and and honed in on what I needed to

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Speaker 2: do to accept my reality, and it just didn't land.

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Speaker 2: But this was a part of my journey. And I'm

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Speaker 2: so happy that you wrote into the Haters episode, but

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Speaker 2: I'm even happier that you're writing into this one.

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Speaker 3: Oh thank you. And I was gonna say, like, okay,

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Speaker 3: so the circling of this, I am what we would

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Speaker 3: call California sober. So I haven't alcohol in over a year.

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Speaker 2: I did just celebrate a year of sobriety and congratulations, really.

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Speaker 3: A year sober from alcohol. And the reason why I

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Speaker 3: wrote in with the sobriety was because in my sobriety journey,

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Speaker 3: I then realized more about what happened, honestly, because my

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Speaker 3: expectations of you during your sobriety, I mean, I have

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Speaker 3: an expectation as I'm watching right, so she's sober, why

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Speaker 3: is she acting like that? And that was something that

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Speaker 3: like it during my own sobriety, I was like, WHOA,

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Speaker 3: I'm acting in certain ways? Why am I acting like that?

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Speaker 3: I'm not drinking, why am I acting like so? It's

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Speaker 3: just it's been such a big learning curve of like

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Speaker 3: introspection and then also just like realizing others different realities.

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Speaker 3: I've always been like a feeler, but I just feel

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Speaker 3: like it's let me. I've opened up and like unlocked

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Speaker 3: a new layer of my empathy, which is very cool.

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Speaker 3: If that makes sense.

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Speaker 2: It makes all the sense. Okay, I get everything you're

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Speaker 2: putting down right now because I'm in it with you.

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Speaker 3: Bring up the Haters episode because it does connect to

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Speaker 3: the sobriety, which is like, if I were to watch

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Speaker 3: that now, ooh, my mindset would be so different, the

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Speaker 3: expectations would be so so.

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Speaker 2: Different due to your path in giving up drinking. Yes,

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Speaker 2: that is you know, there have been many moments where

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Speaker 2: I've been a dry drunk, and those moments are still

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Speaker 2: alive and well where I have to check myself. And

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Speaker 2: it was interesting during that entire season that there were

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Speaker 2: some women that were sober and said, I know exactly

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Speaker 2: what she's doing right now. This is step five, this

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Speaker 2: is step four, this is step nine.

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Speaker 1: And I wish that.

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Speaker 2: Van under Pump rules would have captured more of my

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Speaker 2: sobriety and what goes into it, because it's not just

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Speaker 2: I wake up and don't drink. There's a lot of

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Speaker 2: things I'm held accountable, whether it's on camera or not.

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Speaker 2: I have a sponsor that I go to and I

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Speaker 2: it's I'm in constant conflict because everything that I practice

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Speaker 2: in my sobriety to God into the world is counterintuitive

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Speaker 2: of what I do for a living, and it is

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Speaker 2: a mind fuck. And there are so many times Sorry.

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Speaker 3: Oh it's okay, I have goosebumps. I want you to

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Speaker 3: know I feel what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, Like at.

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Speaker 2: Night when I come home from filming and things, and

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I know that, like I spoke my truth

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Speaker 2: and things like that, and I know that, like this

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Speaker 2: is my real life, and I know that this is

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Speaker 2: also entertainment, but I feel like I'm I'm letting myself

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Speaker 2: down and I'm like trying to make it right with God.

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Speaker 1: Like I hope you understand.

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Speaker 2: It's very confusing at times. So I'm happy that you're

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Speaker 2: coming from a place of not drinking and knowing how

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Speaker 2: it can be a conflict. Sorry, I did not expect

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Speaker 2: that to happen. I should expect it to happen.

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Speaker 1: I cry.

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Speaker 2: I am a crier by nature. Anyway, there's that. And

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Speaker 2: I'm really happy that you called in to talk about

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Speaker 2: one of the biggest pieces of my life, which is sobriety.

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Speaker 2: It's the most important thing to me. Without it, like,

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Speaker 2: I can't show it for my kids, I can't provide

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Speaker 2: for them. I'm worthless to every single person. So I'm

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Speaker 2: so happy that. I mean, your skin alone shows that

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Speaker 2: you don't drink. By the way, you've got gorgeous skin

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Speaker 2: and hair.

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Speaker 3: Well, well, I appreciate that a lot. I love crying.

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Speaker 3: I encourage crying As a speech therapist, I encourage all

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Speaker 3: of this, like express yourself. Okay, sometimes we don't have

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Speaker 3: the words cry, that's us feeling. We're on a spinning

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Speaker 3: rock in space. So if we can feel for a moment.

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Speaker 3: I love that. Online I go by Connection Queen, because

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Speaker 3: I actually like connecting people. This is real life. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: this is a connection. So that being said, you know,

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Speaker 3: sobriety for me also kind of leads into my life

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Speaker 3: as a speech therapist. I started to really focus more

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Speaker 3: with my free time of not planning outfits and makeup

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Speaker 3: and where you know, now I have to go to

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Speaker 3: the grocery store and grab alcohol and then prep the

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Speaker 3: drinks and YadA, YadA, YadA. Right now I get to

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Speaker 3: actually like focus on things that matter the most to me,

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Speaker 3: which is my health, my family, and I call them

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Speaker 3: my families, the families that I work with. I'm a

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Speaker 3: really big advocate because special needs is it's prevalent, it's

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Speaker 3: here and everything. I was at Bravocan you were on

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Speaker 3: stage with Britney cart right for the Valley one of

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Speaker 3: the interviews, and that was a moment during my sobriety journey.

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Speaker 3: I was celebrating a year like two weeks later that

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Speaker 3: I was like, oh my gosh. In the past, I

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Speaker 3: would like take a shot or something to ask the room.

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Speaker 3: There was a lot of people in that room. Yea,

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Speaker 3: I know, I talk to people every day, but it's

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Speaker 3: a little different, you know, when you're in front of people.

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Speaker 3: And that was when I was like, no, you're just

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Speaker 3: going to take your deep breaths. You're gonna think about

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Speaker 3: your question because you got this, and that was so empowering.

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Speaker 3: I was like, yoh, new level unlocked. It's just like

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Speaker 3: I don't know how to explain it other than like

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Speaker 3: if you know, you know, if I know there's something

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Speaker 3: like that where yeah, like in the past, I would

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Speaker 3: have had to rely on this as a crutch. Now

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Speaker 3: it's like, nope, I am the crutch. It's me baby.

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Speaker 3: We got to do this.

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Speaker 1: I'm just so happy for you.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. No, it feels good.

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Speaker 2: I wish I could show people, because you do start

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Speaker 2: to think like, oh my gosh, if I give up drinking,

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Speaker 2: am I going to know how to like connect with people,

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Speaker 2: talk to people? Am I going to be interesting? And

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Speaker 2: I sometimes when people have come to me to you know,

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Speaker 2: trying to get sober, I'm like, you, drinking is not interesting,

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Speaker 2: it's sad, it's there.

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Speaker 3: How else to explain it other than this is just

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Speaker 3: the behavior that you've adopted into your every day and

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Speaker 3: until you really like take a second. But I do

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Speaker 3: feel like we have to be the ones to do it.

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Speaker 3: I've had so many different things happen in my life

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Speaker 3: where people have brought it up to me, and I

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Speaker 3: just have been so ignorant, naive, selfish, I don't know

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Speaker 3: what to call it, genuinely, but I didn't see it.

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Speaker 1: I weren't ready.

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Speaker 3: I just wasn't ready. Yeah, it was not there, Like

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Speaker 3: even if they held the picture in front of me,

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Speaker 3: I'd be like, nope, it's blue, not green. So until

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Speaker 3: I was in that place mensally where I was like,

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Speaker 3: all right, actually I'm curious. Now I've done my twenties drinking,

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Speaker 3: I want to know what it's like in my thirties

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Speaker 3: to not drink. That was just an idea that I had.

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Speaker 3: That's how it happened. And then I just said I

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Speaker 3: want to keep I want to be thirty thirty, my

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Speaker 3: thirtieth birthday no alcohol. And now it's just something that

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Speaker 3: I'm going to keep doing. I enjoy it. I like

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Speaker 3: the Miranda I'm becoming every year. I mean, it's just different.

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Speaker 3: It's just different.

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Speaker 2: I'm very very happy for you, and you know exactly

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Speaker 2: where to find me if you ever need an uplifting

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Speaker 2: you know, DM, I've got.

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Speaker 3: You think you know. I appreciate that. And also like,

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Speaker 3: this isn't the first transformation I've had. I used to

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Speaker 3: be two hundred and fifty pounds. I had weight loss

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Speaker 3: surgery almost like nine year years ago. Yeah, the first. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that was the first transformation that Miranda had. It took

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Speaker 3: Miranda almost a decade to come to this new level.

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Speaker 3: But that's why I'm like each year kind of throughout

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Speaker 3: that journey, I learned so much about myself that's incredible.

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Speaker 3: So it's just cool, Like I really do encourage people

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Speaker 3: to change. Like, I know it could be scary and stuff,

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Speaker 3: but it is. It's such a good feeling. There's no word.

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Speaker 3: I don't have a word for it. It's just a feeling,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 2: No. But I'm excited for people to see this video

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Speaker 2: because I think you can just tell, like from what

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Speaker 2: you're exuding right now, I get like, yeah, you get

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Speaker 2: giddy and you're very You're just alive. And I am

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Speaker 2: digging everything that you're saying. So I think you're a

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Speaker 2: walking testimonial to what taking your life by the ovaries

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Speaker 2: and you know saying this isn't working for me anymore.

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Speaker 2: So I'm going to make a change. And you know

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Speaker 2: what I always say, I reserve the right to change

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Speaker 2: how I feel today tomorrow if I feel differently. If

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Speaker 2: you are not here to tell me if that's right, wrong,

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Speaker 2: or point it out to me, I'm well aware what

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Speaker 2: once worked now doesn't and tomorrow could be different.

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Speaker 3: I and didn't get that until I got sober from alcohol.

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Speaker 2: I know.

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Speaker 1: It's pretty incredible, right yes.

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Speaker 3: And now, like that's the part of the empathy I'm

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Speaker 3: talking about, because with that you're able to then empathize

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Speaker 3: and go, oh well, maybe it didn't work for them today.

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Speaker 3: But if we don't have that awareness, how could I

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Speaker 3: even id at a thought like that?

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Speaker 4: Right?

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Speaker 2: No, you're you're a smart bitch, and thank you for

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Speaker 2: all the work that you do helping families advocating for them.

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Speaker 3: Yes, please, parents know you're right. Parents have so many

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Speaker 3: rights for their kids, and school districts don't want you

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Speaker 3: to know about it. So please, if any parents have

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Speaker 3: any questions, please please let me know. I will do

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Speaker 3: pro bono work and help families out because it's my

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Speaker 3: life's mission to help families, especially as a speech language

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Speaker 3: pathologist with speech cases. You know, IEPs are scary, So please,

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Speaker 3: if we could use a little piece of this to

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Speaker 3: just you know, help advocate about special needs, the IEP,

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Speaker 3: the school districts, all of that, it would mean the

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Speaker 3: world to me.

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Speaker 1: What is your handle? Where can people find you?

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Speaker 4: So?

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Speaker 3: Yes, my handle is Connection Queen. I definitely talk about

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Speaker 3: a lot of reality TV stuff. I am in the

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Speaker 3: works right now of coming up with a new platform

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Speaker 3: where I can actually like help just you know, streamline

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Speaker 3: education and advocacy for special needs.

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Speaker 1: For sure, you're an incredible person. We're very grateful.

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Speaker 3: Thank you. No, I appreciate that, Lava so so much.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, thanks for letting me come on and just ramble, and.

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Speaker 1: You're always most welcome. You're a part of the pod.

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Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I love that. Thank you, No, seriously, though,

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Speaker 3: I do appreciate it and what you've done and share

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Speaker 3: your life. Not many people could do so as much

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Speaker 3: as all of us yap online about it. It's like

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Speaker 3: to be able to say to you, like, thanks for sharing,

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Speaker 3: thanks for letting me talk my online. I appreciate it.

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Speaker 1: You're so welcome, You're very very cool.

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Speaker 3: Please end my sessions by the way with my students

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Speaker 3: two thumbs up, round of applause and a heart. So

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna do the same for you.

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Speaker 1: I love it, baby, Thank you so much. We'll be

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Speaker 1: in touch. I'm going to hit you up.

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Speaker 5: Thanks.

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Speaker 3: Yes, if any of your friends have questions, let me

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Speaker 3: know with the.

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Speaker 2: Kids, definitely bybe able Kristin, Hello, gorgeous, Like you are.

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Speaker 6: So good at taking accountability for the things that you've

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Speaker 6: done and the journey that you've been on. And I

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Speaker 6: also think that it's a lot of people are casting

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Speaker 6: judgment that haven't walked them out on your shoes. And

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Speaker 6: I think it's really easy for people to be able

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Speaker 6: to tell you what you should do when they haven't

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Speaker 6: done any of.

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Speaker 1: It, you know what. I feel like?

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Speaker 2: That's kind of life though, right, Like every every situation

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Speaker 2: is so nuanced, and there's so many ins and outs

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Speaker 2: of life, and then you take into account how someone

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Speaker 2: was raised, like their upbringing and things that they experienced

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Speaker 2: as a child that they may have carried into adulthood,

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Speaker 2: and it's just so complex. And I had like reading

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Speaker 2: the hate comments, the beef comments, and seeing such an

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Speaker 2: overwhelming amount of people who were asking to do this episode,

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Speaker 2: like let us show you love, let us give you

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Speaker 2: your flowers. It was such a moment of like I

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Speaker 2: really put which I haven't.

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Speaker 1: I haven't always done.

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Speaker 2: This is the more recent in the last couple of

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Speaker 2: years where I fixate on the hateful comments and I

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Speaker 2: forget about all of the people who really have rocked

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Speaker 2: hard with me and had constructive criticism, which I always welcome.

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Speaker 2: And during season eleven, You're gonna die the amount of

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Speaker 2: messages my mom got showing me love and then at

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Speaker 2: the end saying, if you choose to share this, please

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Speaker 2: don't mention my name.

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Speaker 1: I was like, Wow, I am so alone.

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Speaker 4: And that's unfair and it shouldn't be that way.

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Speaker 6: And I'm so thankful as a viewer that you've been

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Speaker 6: vulnerable and shared some really hard things, because some of

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Speaker 6: the things that you've walked through aren't things that are

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Speaker 6: talked about.

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Speaker 4: And so for those people out there that.

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Speaker 6: Are listening and that are watching you go through these things,

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Speaker 6: not that it gives them a roadmap of what they

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Speaker 6: should do, but it gives them the feeling of not

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Speaker 6: being alone and not being isolated.

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Speaker 4: And I'm just so.

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Speaker 6: Grateful that you've shared your journey and the things that

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Speaker 6: you've gone through. I know I wrote in a little

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Speaker 6: about my story, but I think it helps like connect

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Speaker 6: the dots a little bit.

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Speaker 2: If you will, Can you share I know your message,

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Speaker 2: but I also want our listeners to know your story.

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Speaker 6: Yeah, so I guess it really starts in twenty thirteen.

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Speaker 6: We have my family had a car accident. My two

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Speaker 6: daughters and I were involved in that. My daughter, Aubrey

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Speaker 6: was eight months old at the time, and she passed

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Speaker 6: away pretty quickly. We got to the hospital and they

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Speaker 6: told us there was essentially nothing that they could do.

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Speaker 6: We just had to wait for God to take.

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Speaker 4: Her from us.

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Speaker 6: Essentially, our other daughter, Brooke, was four, and she was

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Speaker 6: intubated on the scene.

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Speaker 4: She was fighting for her life.

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Speaker 6: The girls couldn't be in the same room because of

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Speaker 6: their needs, so they were separated. And I didn't know

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Speaker 6: the severity of Brooks injuries at the time. I sat

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Speaker 6: in that hospital room beside my eight month old and

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Speaker 6: I just remember praying for God to provide a miracle

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Speaker 6: in that moment, and we were watching the monitors and

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Speaker 6: her ICP number started to drop, and I really thought

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Speaker 6: that was God answering our prayers. And I asked the

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Speaker 6: nurse and she said, with tears in her eyes, she said, no, honey, unfortunately,

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Speaker 6: her brain has gone down into her spinal column and

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Speaker 6: that's why that number has gone down. And she just

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Speaker 6: had sat with me and listened all night to my story,

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Speaker 6: our life with our girls.

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Speaker 4: I was still breastfeeding, we were co sleeping. So she

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Speaker 4: in that moment, she.

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Speaker 6: Walked out and she got a regular hospital bed and

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Speaker 6: she wheeled it into that room and she got my

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Speaker 6: daughter out of that crib and she laid her in

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Speaker 6: my arms and I sang her her favorite song, You

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Speaker 6: Are My Sunshine, and before I finished that song, she

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Speaker 6: had passed away, and in the midst of all of that,

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Speaker 6: my other daughter was still fighting for her life. And

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Speaker 6: I prayed reverently that if God were going to take her,

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Speaker 6: that he would take them so they could go into

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Speaker 6: eternity together, and also selfishly so I didn't have to

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Speaker 6: walk through that lost twice. But Brooke was a fighter,

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Speaker 6: and she fought so hard, and so as she sat

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Speaker 6: there in that room fighting, I knew I had to

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Speaker 6: fight alongside of her. So the day after Aubrey passed away,

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Speaker 6: found out that Brooke had a spattal cord injury at

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Speaker 6: level C three C four, which essentially means that she's

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Speaker 6: paralyzed from the neck down. She was unable to breathe

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Speaker 6: on her own. She needed a ventilator to breathe for her.

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Speaker 6: She was on two feeds for nutrition. She had to

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Speaker 6: have a pacemaker place because her heart continued to stop

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Speaker 6: when she was getting respiratory treatments. She had to have

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Speaker 6: a cervical shunt place because she also had a severe

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Speaker 6: brain injury in the accident like her sister did, and.

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Speaker 4: That cervical shunt maintained the pressure around her brain.

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Speaker 6: She rehabbed and did really well In the beginning, they

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Speaker 6: told us that she was not going to progress beyond

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Speaker 6: her four year old state, that she was going to

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Speaker 6: need a passy mirror valve to speak over her trake

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Speaker 6: and vent. They told us that she'd likely never eat

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Speaker 6: again on her own. They didn't think that she was

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Speaker 6: going to grow cognitively like I said. They didn't think

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Speaker 6: she was going to remember her sister that had passed.

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Speaker 6: They were wrong about every single thing they told us.

434
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:05,199
Speaker 6: Brooke was able to eat on her own before we

435
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:09,080
Speaker 6: left the hospital. She had full feeling from her neck down.

436
00:21:09,160 --> 00:21:12,439
Speaker 6: Despite her level of injury. She was talking before we

437
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,160
Speaker 6: ever left the hospital. She learned how to drive her

438
00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:20,679
Speaker 6: power wheelchair expertly with her head. She continued dance after

439
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:25,200
Speaker 6: we discharged from the hospital, and she even competed. She

440
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,960
Speaker 6: was the very first event patient at this ranch that's

441
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:32,200
Speaker 6: local to us, Wings of Eagles Ranch, and they put

442
00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 6: her on a horse and a rider sat behind her

443
00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:37,640
Speaker 6: and strapped the vent to their back and rode her.

444
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:44,040
Speaker 6: She lived for a little over three years and she

445
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:47,320
Speaker 6: started getting pretty sick. We really didn't know what was

446
00:21:47,359 --> 00:21:53,480
Speaker 6: going on. Brooke cervical shut had malfunctioned, so she needed

447
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:57,880
Speaker 6: to have surgery to replace that. She was terrified. I mean,

448
00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:02,080
Speaker 6: she was seven years old and had faced undeniable odds

449
00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 6: and had beat every single one of them. She had

450
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:07,840
Speaker 6: a spirit like no other. I mean, our entire community

451
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:11,879
Speaker 6: rallied around her. She had more faith than any grown

452
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 6: adult I've ever met. She was only seven. She taught

453
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 6: me a lot about life. She did not want to

454
00:22:18,119 --> 00:22:20,760
Speaker 6: have that surgery. She told us she was afraid to die.

455
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 6: It was supposed to be an outpatient procedure. She had

456
00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:29,840
Speaker 6: the procedure done. She came out of the surgery fine.

457
00:22:29,920 --> 00:22:33,719
Speaker 6: She was awake and talking. We had had another baby

458
00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 6: in that timeframe, and I had to go home.

459
00:22:37,080 --> 00:22:38,760
Speaker 4: To be with her because it was flu season.

460
00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:40,719
Speaker 6: She wasn't allowed to be at the hospital on the floor,

461
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:44,199
Speaker 6: and I was still breastfeeding, so I went home to

462
00:22:44,240 --> 00:22:46,439
Speaker 6: be with her. My husband's stayed at a hospital with Brook,

463
00:22:47,359 --> 00:22:51,920
Speaker 6: and things just took a turn for the worst. Unfortunately,

464
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:56,000
Speaker 6: the cirvicle shunt was not working, and all the signs

465
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:58,960
Speaker 6: that would typically point to a shunt malfunction would be

466
00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 6: lowered heart rate, decrease in respirations, and a change in

467
00:23:02,760 --> 00:23:06,440
Speaker 6: mental clarity. Brooke had a pacemaker, so her heart was

468
00:23:06,480 --> 00:23:09,080
Speaker 6: never going to go below sixty beats per minute. She

469
00:23:09,119 --> 00:23:11,960
Speaker 6: was unable to breathe on her own, so her respirations

470
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,360
Speaker 6: were never going to decrease beyond what the event would

471
00:23:14,400 --> 00:23:18,200
Speaker 6: give her. And after surgery, she had complained of being

472
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,919
Speaker 6: in pain, and when I pulled her medical records, she

473
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:26,720
Speaker 6: had received more pain medication than she should have. There's

474
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:28,760
Speaker 6: a lot the more that went into that story, but

475
00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:33,200
Speaker 6: ultimately Brooke did not make it and she was declared

476
00:23:33,240 --> 00:23:34,000
Speaker 6: brain dead.

477
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:34,600
Speaker 4: The next day.

478
00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 6: Our family decided to donate Brook's organs because Brooke was

479
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 6: the most giving person I know, and I have no

480
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:44,399
Speaker 6: doubt that had she been there standing beside me, she

481
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,200
Speaker 6: would have said, mom, if it can help somebody else live,

482
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 6: I want to do it. If it can help another

483
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:53,119
Speaker 6: mommy or daddy not feel what you're feeling, then I

484
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,879
Speaker 6: want to be able to do that. And Brooke was

485
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 6: able to save several children and adults lives with her

486
00:23:59,119 --> 00:24:04,040
Speaker 6: organ donation, which was beautiful for us. And as you

487
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 6: can imagine grief, you had your own journey with your

488
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:11,119
Speaker 6: loss of your father. Everyone responds very differently to grief,

489
00:24:11,680 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 6: and everybody's journey is very personal. And I am not

490
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,760
Speaker 6: one to say how anybody should grieve.

491
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,000
Speaker 4: My husband and I responded very differently.

492
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:25,879
Speaker 6: I really leaned into therapy and going to church, and

493
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,840
Speaker 6: he tried therapy and it just wasn't for him. He

494
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:31,919
Speaker 6: felt like he failed his little girl because he promised

495
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,480
Speaker 6: he was going to bring her home and he didn't,

496
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:37,560
Speaker 6: and he didn't know how to deal with that. So

497
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 6: his pain and grief turned to alcohol, where mine was

498
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 6: I leaned in in a way to honor the girls

499
00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:50,440
Speaker 6: in a positive way. He just struggled, and we faced

500
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:53,080
Speaker 6: a lot of criticism from the people that had supported us,

501
00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:57,000
Speaker 6: that knew what was going on, just because of his

502
00:24:57,119 --> 00:25:00,280
Speaker 6: walk and his path, and I'm not going to it

503
00:25:00,359 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 6: was really scary at times. I contemplated divorce for quite

504
00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 6: a while. In North Carolina, the custody laws are very

505
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:12,439
Speaker 6: difficult to navigate. You have to be first of all,

506
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:14,400
Speaker 6: you have to be legally separated for a year before

507
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:18,480
Speaker 6: you can file for divorce, and they're very pro both

508
00:25:18,560 --> 00:25:23,240
Speaker 6: parents having equal rights. I know several people that I've

509
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:28,240
Speaker 6: gone to court with proven sexual abuse, proven physical abuse,

510
00:25:28,720 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 6: and still had to share custody with their former spouse.

511
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,359
Speaker 6: So while we were going through this really dark time,

512
00:25:35,400 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 6: it was something I felt like I couldn't. I was

513
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,920
Speaker 6: being judged for not just walking away, but in my mind,

514
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 6: walking away in that moment wasn't protecting my kids either,

515
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:47,639
Speaker 6: and that was really difficult for me to walk through

516
00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:50,480
Speaker 6: and to have to deal with the judgment of other

517
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,320
Speaker 6: people that had no idea what we were going through,

518
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:56,280
Speaker 6: had no idea what he was going through. And while

519
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,359
Speaker 6: I'm not making excuses for him whatsoever, there's never a

520
00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:01,800
Speaker 6: reason to go down that path and to stay there.

521
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:07,360
Speaker 6: I lost those two girls too, and I know how

522
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:10,679
Speaker 6: hard it's been for me, so it's hard for me

523
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 6: to stand in judgment of that. And also during that time,

524
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:18,479
Speaker 6: to compound all of that, my mom was also an

525
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:22,159
Speaker 6: alcoholic and she was very abusive. My grandparents raised me

526
00:26:22,200 --> 00:26:25,359
Speaker 6: from the point of twelve years until I graduated high school.

527
00:26:25,920 --> 00:26:28,560
Speaker 6: My biological father was not in the picture. I later

528
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:32,000
Speaker 6: found out that he was in jail for murder, so

529
00:26:32,160 --> 00:26:33,520
Speaker 6: I just.

530
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:35,080
Speaker 4: Did not have that family unit.

531
00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:39,680
Speaker 6: My grandparents were amazing, they really were, but we don't

532
00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:41,800
Speaker 6: live near them anymore. We're eight and a half hours away,

533
00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 6: So eight and a half hours away, isolated, really going

534
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 6: through it and facing judgment from the people that I

535
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:52,359
Speaker 6: considered my community and that was really hard and it

536
00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:55,280
Speaker 6: changed a lot in me. And I've seen you walk

537
00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 6: through a lot of that. I've seen you be vulnerable,

538
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 6: I've seen you be real. I've seen you be honest

539
00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:02,600
Speaker 6: with struggles you face and say, hey, I'm not perfect,

540
00:27:02,680 --> 00:27:04,840
Speaker 6: but I'm waking up every day and trying my best

541
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:06,720
Speaker 6: and I'm trying to be a better version than I

542
00:27:06,760 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 6: was yesterday. And I think you deserve credit for that

543
00:27:10,040 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 6: because I know that pain and you're doing amazing. The

544
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,800
Speaker 6: fact that you have been able to stay sober and

545
00:27:15,920 --> 00:27:20,920
Speaker 6: have fault, that fault seeing someone fight that I can't

546
00:27:20,960 --> 00:27:24,960
Speaker 6: even imagine, just from the family member's perspective. I know

547
00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:27,800
Speaker 6: how much pain that is to carry, so I can't

548
00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 6: imagine what it's like for you every single day.

549
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:30,399
Speaker 4: You know.

550
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 2: Just listening to your story, I mean, I feel like,

551
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:40,320
Speaker 2: and I've said this before, I feel like, because I

552
00:27:41,200 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 2: believe in God, that's my higher power. And I don't

553
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 2: consider myself I consider myself to be spiritual, but I

554
00:27:47,920 --> 00:27:52,760
Speaker 2: was raised with Christianity, and you know, me and God

555
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:57,320
Speaker 2: are really thick. And I think we come to this

556
00:27:57,400 --> 00:28:00,560
Speaker 2: planet and it's within us that when our parents and die.

557
00:28:01,480 --> 00:28:04,640
Speaker 2: We know how to handle that grief. You know, it's

558
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:14,160
Speaker 2: just the circle of life, you losing two children. Sorry,

559
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:21,359
Speaker 2: I find you to be very inspiring that you leaped

560
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,480
Speaker 2: into your faith.

561
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:27,560
Speaker 1: Even when I lost my dad. I did not do that.

562
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:29,120
Speaker 1: I turned to alcohol.

563
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:35,480
Speaker 2: And the fact that you have faced what you faced

564
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:42,560
Speaker 2: and sent me a message praising me. I'm very humbled

565
00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:49,320
Speaker 2: by this conversation, and I really appreciate because I can't

566
00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:50,840
Speaker 2: even imagine what you faced.

567
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:56,200
Speaker 6: It was unbearable. I don't know else to put in.

568
00:28:58,520 --> 00:29:01,200
Speaker 6: You don't know until you've walked through, and you don't

569
00:29:01,240 --> 00:29:03,480
Speaker 6: know what you can handle until you have to either.

570
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:07,840
Speaker 6: When Aubrey passed, I had no choice but to rally

571
00:29:07,920 --> 00:29:10,560
Speaker 6: because I had this four year old little girl that

572
00:29:10,720 --> 00:29:17,320
Speaker 6: was beautifully fighting for a chance at a meaningful life,

573
00:29:17,440 --> 00:29:20,440
Speaker 6: and despite her limitations, I believe we gave that to her.

574
00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:24,440
Speaker 6: But when we lost her, I kind of lost my purpose. Honestly,

575
00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 6: I'd gone to school to be a teacher. Everything about

576
00:29:29,120 --> 00:29:34,080
Speaker 6: me was my kids. Like I mentioned, we had another

577
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:39,320
Speaker 6: daughter after the accident. She's now ten. We've since had

578
00:29:39,360 --> 00:29:43,320
Speaker 6: a son. He's six and amazing, but all boy in

579
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:48,760
Speaker 6: trouble trouble trouble, and I decided to go back to

580
00:29:48,800 --> 00:29:51,280
Speaker 6: school to become a nurse and actually work at the

581
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:55,280
Speaker 6: hospital that my daughter was treated and also passed away at.

582
00:29:55,680 --> 00:30:01,440
Speaker 2: So wow, I'm just I mean, God, bless you and

583
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:04,360
Speaker 2: your family. I truly cannot imagine. And I am so

584
00:30:04,920 --> 00:30:08,240
Speaker 2: just grateful that you reached out to me. When you

585
00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,840
Speaker 2: hear stories like this, it really puts life into perspective.

586
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:16,840
Speaker 2: All of these things that we care about are just

587
00:30:16,960 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 2: so meaningless when you think about the larger picture. I

588
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:25,280
Speaker 2: truly don't even know what to say to you, except

589
00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,880
Speaker 2: I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you, But

590
00:30:28,920 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 2: I also find you to be extremely inspiring and I'm

591
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,480
Speaker 2: just I'm going to pray for you guys.

592
00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 4: Thank you Ella.

593
00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:40,280
Speaker 6: If I can just leave you with one thing my

594
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:43,720
Speaker 6: pastor shared with me in those early days, and I

595
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 6: just I've seen it. I've seen it come full circle.

596
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,720
Speaker 6: I've seen it the truth in it, and I believe

597
00:30:49,760 --> 00:30:52,640
Speaker 6: it and I know it's true for you too. God

598
00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:56,320
Speaker 6: doesn't waste to hurt, even the really really big ones. Yep.

599
00:30:58,240 --> 00:31:02,600
Speaker 2: Oh, You're an incredible Thank you so much for taking

600
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: time to write me. Thank you so much for taking

601
00:31:06,200 --> 00:31:09,040
Speaker 2: time to sit here with me and share your story.

602
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,280
Speaker 2: I'm sending you so much love and I feel very

603
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 2: proud to have you a part of my pod like

604
00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:17,760
Speaker 2: my orchipod, but also a part of this podcast.

605
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 4: Thank you, I appreciate it.

606
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:21,320
Speaker 1: You're welcome, my love.

607
00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,280
Speaker 4: Have a good day you too.

608
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:38,760
Speaker 1: Bye. Hey, George, Hi, how are you? I'm good?

609
00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: How are you?

610
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,000
Speaker 5: I'm great. It's so nice to meet you.

611
00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: It's so nice to meet you too.

612
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:46,920
Speaker 2: I'm so thrilled that you wrote in I heard that

613
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:49,640
Speaker 2: you won one of the lip giveaways like back in

614
00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 2: the day.

615
00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:51,200
Speaker 5: Yeah, back in the day.

616
00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:52,960
Speaker 7: What is that like twenty twenty it was one of

617
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:56,720
Speaker 7: the lip duos. Yeah, yeah, I got all of them.

618
00:31:56,880 --> 00:31:59,120
Speaker 7: They're amazing, you know what.

619
00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you like them. Let me tell you,

620
00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:06,520
Speaker 2: I I'm so proud of that brand, even though it's

621
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,840
Speaker 2: no longer the only once you I've learned now when

622
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,640
Speaker 2: you get into a business relationship, it's like a marriage, right, Absolutely,

623
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:18,360
Speaker 2: you better fuck hard with that person for real, for real.

624
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 7: And it's so much dedicated time, like oh you can't.

625
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,800
Speaker 7: You can't give it any free time, no away from it.

626
00:32:27,400 --> 00:32:30,440
Speaker 2: So I'm hoping that you know the reason it was

627
00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,800
Speaker 2: dissolved was because we just weren't on the same page,

628
00:32:32,840 --> 00:32:33,640
Speaker 2: me and my partners.

629
00:32:34,120 --> 00:32:35,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so I'm like, all right, so.

630
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 2: Let's just call it a day here, recreate, start from scratch,

631
00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,200
Speaker 2: and I'm like, this is exhausting.

632
00:32:41,800 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 5: Yeah.

633
00:32:42,360 --> 00:32:45,120
Speaker 7: Well, it's funny you say that, because I also feel

634
00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:46,920
Speaker 7: like that's what kind of brought me back to you

635
00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:50,960
Speaker 7: in the podcast after your Haters episode that you recently did,

636
00:32:51,640 --> 00:32:56,520
Speaker 7: was understanding the evolution of like friendships and how in

637
00:32:56,560 --> 00:32:59,680
Speaker 7: a moment of time, I may not have agreed with something,

638
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:02,239
Speaker 7: but at the end of the day, you're still You're

639
00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:04,120
Speaker 7: still a lala. You're like still my bitch, you know.

640
00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 7: And so it's one of those things where it's just like, Okay,

641
00:33:08,880 --> 00:33:12,960
Speaker 7: this is the person that I connected with back when

642
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:16,160
Speaker 7: you first came on vander Pomp and then you and

643
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:19,000
Speaker 7: I actually are very similar. We have two kids and

644
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:21,880
Speaker 7: they're both very similar in age. So, like I think

645
00:33:21,920 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 7: Ocean's like a February baby, right.

646
00:33:24,280 --> 00:33:26,360
Speaker 1: She'll be she'll be five in March.

647
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:30,680
Speaker 7: Yeah, so my oldest just turned five in December, So

648
00:33:30,760 --> 00:33:33,360
Speaker 7: like that's another connection point for us, is like we

649
00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 7: both had our kids during like that COVID period where

650
00:33:36,120 --> 00:33:39,960
Speaker 7: totally isolating, and then my second baby is a May

651
00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:43,280
Speaker 7: twenty twenty four, and I think Sosa is like September right,

652
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,560
Speaker 7: so very close in age, so like it's almost like

653
00:33:47,560 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 7: that automatic connection, you know, like, right, you understand everything

654
00:33:53,240 --> 00:33:54,959
Speaker 7: that I was going through. I understood what you were

655
00:33:55,000 --> 00:33:57,520
Speaker 7: going through, And even though we've never met, just having

656
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 7: that connection point is just like a really nice thing.

657
00:34:00,600 --> 00:34:04,320
Speaker 2: Well, I think that that's what's so great about reality

658
00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 2: television is obviously you know, we're putting our lives out

659
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:10,839
Speaker 2: there and we get a lot of criticism, and the

660
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:13,480
Speaker 2: criticism I shouldn't even call it that hate because I'm

661
00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:17,000
Speaker 2: open to criticism, like you have something productive to share

662
00:34:17,040 --> 00:34:19,880
Speaker 2: with me, you know, I'm in it. So I'm always

663
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 2: into like a thirty thousand foot perspective on my life,

664
00:34:23,280 --> 00:34:25,120
Speaker 2: like how can we shift, how can we do better?

665
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:29,720
Speaker 1: The hate is so loud, but when you get into.

666
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:34,040
Speaker 2: The nitty gritty of it all, there's so many people

667
00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:38,239
Speaker 2: who are watching that we connect with, right, And when

668
00:34:38,239 --> 00:34:40,480
Speaker 2: I did the hater episode, which I thought was going

669
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,360
Speaker 2: to be wild, I was like, Oh, we're going to.

670
00:34:42,360 --> 00:34:44,560
Speaker 1: Get so fucking many. I've seen the comment section.

671
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,919
Speaker 2: It was like crickets and I was like, where are

672
00:34:47,960 --> 00:34:48,879
Speaker 2: you guys.

673
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:50,400
Speaker 5: Because it's easy to hide bind a keyboard.

674
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,680
Speaker 1: Are they yes exactly.

675
00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:54,960
Speaker 2: I was like, we can go Toe's face to face

676
00:34:54,960 --> 00:34:57,799
Speaker 2: and like, I'm actually not that scary, Like I'm not

677
00:34:57,880 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 2: scary at all. I'm actually a pretty fucking cool Oh bitch.

678
00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:01,239
Speaker 3: Yeah.

679
00:35:01,239 --> 00:35:05,520
Speaker 2: And then we aired the Hater episode and so many

680
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:10,040
Speaker 2: people were dming and sending so much love and it

681
00:35:10,120 --> 00:35:13,160
Speaker 2: made me feel Obviously everybody loves love, but it made

682
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,719
Speaker 2: me want to do this because it's not just about me,

683
00:35:15,920 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 2: Like I want to know who is sharing their lives

684
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: in the reality TV space, who has helped you through

685
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 2: a hard time, Because at the end of the day,

686
00:35:25,120 --> 00:35:28,400
Speaker 2: we're filming our lives and it sounds cool and it's amazing,

687
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:30,040
Speaker 2: but it's very isolating.

688
00:35:30,680 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 4: Yeah.

689
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 2: Absolutely, and to see such a small part of our lives.

690
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:38,040
Speaker 2: And you know, I was just talking about this, I

691
00:35:38,080 --> 00:35:41,279
Speaker 2: have to separate my reality from my reality because I

692
00:35:41,280 --> 00:35:43,759
Speaker 2: can share what I'm going through, but what I'm going

693
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 2: through may not be that interesting to people watching, and

694
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:48,960
Speaker 2: I have no say over what's interesting.

695
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,000
Speaker 1: It can be chopped and screwed.

696
00:35:51,040 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 2: And then you watch people and the comment section, they're like, oh,

697
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,040
Speaker 2: this person has no storyline.

698
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,640
Speaker 1: But then if my life goes to shit, I created.

699
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,600
Speaker 2: It for a storyline, So you can't win there either,

700
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,799
Speaker 2: you know, and it just becomes a lot.

701
00:36:05,600 --> 00:36:06,200
Speaker 5: Yeah.

702
00:36:06,239 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 1: So it's it is the things.

703
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,360
Speaker 2: Like motherhood, like you were saying, where it's like, okay,

704
00:36:10,840 --> 00:36:12,280
Speaker 2: I understand this person.

705
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:15,239
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I think I think the other part of

706
00:36:15,320 --> 00:36:16,239
Speaker 5: reality TV too.

707
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 7: It gives you an outlet, right, it gives you the

708
00:36:20,239 --> 00:36:22,799
Speaker 7: ability because I know that you watch like Ronnie is

709
00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:24,759
Speaker 7: like your go to right, Like you just kick back

710
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,120
Speaker 7: and watch old episodes of Ronny and like that's your thing.

711
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 5: It's an escape for you.

712
00:36:29,120 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 7: So even though you are so close and in reality TV,

713
00:36:32,360 --> 00:36:35,480
Speaker 7: it's an escape for you because you know, even though

714
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:38,719
Speaker 7: you live such an amazing life and you are are

715
00:36:38,760 --> 00:36:42,000
Speaker 7: so privileged and blessed in your own life, the level

716
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 7: of like being a housewife is like it's another level.

717
00:36:45,320 --> 00:36:48,760
Speaker 1: Right, It's just fabulous decodance.

718
00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 7: And like dripping with diamonds, you know, And it's just

719
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:55,520
Speaker 7: such a an entertaining thing to watch, and you watch

720
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 7: it to see and almost gain perspective of what are

721
00:36:59,920 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 7: they dealing with because even though they are living fabulous,

722
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,080
Speaker 7: amazing lives, they too deal with struggles right right, How

723
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,279
Speaker 7: are they navigating it?

724
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:10,319
Speaker 5: How do they navigate conflict?

725
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:13,640
Speaker 7: And you know, as someone that's I kind of am

726
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 7: very extroverted, I'm very out there. I also don't like

727
00:37:17,160 --> 00:37:22,880
Speaker 7: conflict though, And so watching you or like a Bethany

728
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 7: Frankel or Heather Gay go through conflict, you you get

729
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:31,680
Speaker 7: these little nuggets and you're able to like.

730
00:37:31,640 --> 00:37:34,840
Speaker 5: Apply that to your actual life and to my work.

731
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:38,160
Speaker 7: And I don't know, it's just it's really it's really

732
00:37:38,200 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 7: helpful in that way.

733
00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,680
Speaker 2: I love that you have Just I always say people

734
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:47,239
Speaker 2: who watch reality TV, you have to appreciate the art

735
00:37:47,440 --> 00:37:50,400
Speaker 2: of it. Yeah, very much so, and you fucking do.

736
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:53,480
Speaker 2: And Heather Gay, when I watch her, I'm like, oh,

737
00:37:53,560 --> 00:37:55,280
Speaker 2: I wish that I could convey myself.

738
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:58,440
Speaker 1: She uses like these big words and like rounds out

739
00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:00,520
Speaker 1: her points so well. I'm like, how do I do that?

740
00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:02,160
Speaker 1: She's so good?

741
00:38:02,719 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 7: But you do you do it in a way that

742
00:38:05,280 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 7: is bold and out there, Like I think, I don't

743
00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:11,960
Speaker 7: know if you feel this way, but you know your

744
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,800
Speaker 7: character arc if you will. Throughout your time on vander

745
00:38:15,880 --> 00:38:18,800
Speaker 7: Pump and now transitioning to the Valley and your journey

746
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:24,160
Speaker 7: through sobriety, there's still this constant of bold lalla right,

747
00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,520
Speaker 7: and sure there's ups and downs in your relationships.

748
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,880
Speaker 5: But at the core, you are still who you have

749
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:31,640
Speaker 5: always been.

750
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 7: You're not afraid to go toes with someone, You're not

751
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:39,360
Speaker 7: afraid to challenge the status quo and call out some

752
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:43,839
Speaker 7: bullshit like it doesn't matter. You have just been very

753
00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:48,919
Speaker 7: consistent throughout your existence on reality TV.

754
00:38:49,080 --> 00:38:51,880
Speaker 5: And sure friendships come and go, but that's.

755
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:56,200
Speaker 7: Life, right Like who I am today doesn't mean I'm

756
00:38:56,239 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 7: saying I'm friends with the same people. We're moms now.

757
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,480
Speaker 7: I have lots of friends that are not moms and

758
00:39:01,520 --> 00:39:04,080
Speaker 7: are not married. They don't get it. We're just not

759
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 7: in the same period of life at this point. So

760
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:10,200
Speaker 7: it's just it's changed. But at the same time, I'm

761
00:39:10,200 --> 00:39:12,080
Speaker 7: still Jasmine, like I'm still myself.

762
00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,239
Speaker 1: Talking to you is very refreshing.

763
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,600
Speaker 2: I just want to say that, yes, you just talking

764
00:39:17,640 --> 00:39:21,319
Speaker 2: has brought me a lot of peace right now, so

765
00:39:21,440 --> 00:39:24,719
Speaker 2: I want to thank you for that. I think you

766
00:39:24,800 --> 00:39:30,480
Speaker 2: get it the nuances of life and you watching. I

767
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 2: appreciate that there are people like you who are watching.

768
00:39:33,520 --> 00:39:38,440
Speaker 2: That gives me hope going into the Valley, which they

769
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 2: have now announced that I'll be a full time cast

770
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:44,000
Speaker 2: member on I think people are excited, but I think

771
00:39:44,040 --> 00:39:45,920
Speaker 2: that the hate is loud, and there are people who

772
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:50,319
Speaker 2: are not excited always. And I'm nervous. I have never

773
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:53,200
Speaker 2: been nervous about how people will view me, and after

774
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,880
Speaker 2: my last season on vander Pump Rules, I'm really fucking nervous.

775
00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 7: I get that, and I think it's it's very and

776
00:40:00,440 --> 00:40:04,440
Speaker 7: self aware of you to be nervous, right. I would

777
00:40:04,440 --> 00:40:07,799
Speaker 7: be worried if you weren't nervous, right, just because that

778
00:40:07,840 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 7: hate is so loud. But I think the beautiful thing

779
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:13,440
Speaker 7: about shows like vander Pump and The Valley and Summer

780
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:16,520
Speaker 7: House and things like that, you guys are like legit

781
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:20,960
Speaker 7: friends like that is your friend group. And so even

782
00:40:21,000 --> 00:40:23,680
Speaker 7: though the haters may be loud, you can rely on

783
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 7: your friend group and you're going through the same.

784
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 5: Experience at the same time.

785
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 7: And even though some things may be divisive and some

786
00:40:33,040 --> 00:40:35,000
Speaker 7: people might look at your last season of vander Pump

787
00:40:35,080 --> 00:40:37,680
Speaker 7: Rules as like she just took like a sledgehammer to

788
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:41,840
Speaker 7: every single relationship she had, I think it was a

789
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,240
Speaker 7: moment of growth for you, right, It was a moment

790
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:48,799
Speaker 7: of I need to reevaluate where I am and grow

791
00:40:48,840 --> 00:40:49,239
Speaker 7: from there.

792
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,120
Speaker 5: And you did that right.

793
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:53,920
Speaker 7: I mean, you recognize that you were just in a

794
00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:57,160
Speaker 7: very dark place with he who shall not be named,

795
00:40:57,760 --> 00:41:01,480
Speaker 7: and you decide. I think it is so bold and

796
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,920
Speaker 7: amazing that you have decided to go forward with having

797
00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:05,920
Speaker 7: Sosa by yourself.

798
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 5: I mean, what a badass, bitch move.

799
00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:09,160
Speaker 1: Thank you.

800
00:41:09,600 --> 00:41:12,279
Speaker 5: I have a husband and I'm over here struggling with

801
00:41:12,320 --> 00:41:12,759
Speaker 5: two kids.

802
00:41:12,800 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 7: Okay, like it' hmm it is not okay over here,

803
00:41:17,440 --> 00:41:18,680
Speaker 7: like especially with two boys.

804
00:41:18,760 --> 00:41:19,360
Speaker 5: Let me tell.

805
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:21,720
Speaker 1: You, Yeah, they rock your world. Man, I can only

806
00:41:21,760 --> 00:41:22,839
Speaker 1: imagine it is.

807
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 5: Not for the week.

808
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:27,400
Speaker 7: Although listening to your stories about Ocean, she gives you

809
00:41:27,440 --> 00:41:28,360
Speaker 7: a run for your money.

810
00:41:28,239 --> 00:41:29,799
Speaker 1: Yeah she does.

811
00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 5: It's a trip. But I think at the end of

812
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:34,120
Speaker 5: the day, you going into the valley.

813
00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:37,879
Speaker 7: I'm excited to see you back on my screen consistency, consistently.

814
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 7: I think it is just going to be. It's gonna

815
00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:42,919
Speaker 7: be like old Farander prompt days.

816
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:43,879
Speaker 5: I hate to say it.

817
00:41:43,800 --> 00:41:45,360
Speaker 1: But like I love that.

818
00:41:45,360 --> 00:41:48,000
Speaker 7: That's the hope that I mean, that is what it's

819
00:41:48,040 --> 00:41:51,720
Speaker 7: going to be. Like you you have your your friend group.

820
00:41:51,760 --> 00:41:56,280
Speaker 7: It's not manufactured, it's not fake. It's those are your friends.

821
00:41:56,320 --> 00:41:59,040
Speaker 7: Those are your girls like you got Shortzy in there.

822
00:41:59,400 --> 00:42:01,480
Speaker 5: I know it's going to be great.

823
00:42:01,560 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 7: I think you just need to remember how much love

824
00:42:05,120 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 7: is behind you from like people out here that are

825
00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 7: not in reality TV.

826
00:42:09,120 --> 00:42:13,560
Speaker 5: There is our love should outweigh the haters.

827
00:42:13,880 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 2: Jasmine, I fuck with you so hard. I am so

828
00:42:16,960 --> 00:42:19,480
Speaker 2: appreciative that you wrote in I'm so happy that you're

829
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:20,360
Speaker 2: on my screen.

830
00:42:20,760 --> 00:42:21,920
Speaker 1: You are a bad bitch.

831
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 2: You have made me feel amazing. Everybody loves some love,

832
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:28,480
Speaker 2: and I hope you know how much.

833
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:31,520
Speaker 5: It means to me, absolutely, and I am so grateful

834
00:42:31,520 --> 00:42:33,000
Speaker 5: for the opportunity, so thank you.

835
00:42:33,520 --> 00:42:37,040
Speaker 2: Of course, give your boys some love. I will, and

836
00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:40,200
Speaker 2: I hope you enjoy season three of The Valley.

837
00:42:40,560 --> 00:42:42,319
Speaker 5: I can't wait. I can't wait to see it.

838
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:45,080
Speaker 1: I love it. Write in comment tell me what you think.

839
00:42:45,239 --> 00:42:47,719
Speaker 5: I will and maybe we'll do this again. Sometimes happy

840
00:42:47,800 --> 00:42:49,560
Speaker 5: to be in LA and meet you, and.

841
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,799
Speaker 1: I would love that you know where to find me.

842
00:42:51,840 --> 00:42:52,040
Speaker 2: Girl.

843
00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:54,520
Speaker 1: You slide on my DMS and we'll talk. I will

844
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 1: all right, love you, lave all right, love you babe.

845
00:42:56,719 --> 00:42:57,319
Speaker 1: Bye Hye.

846
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:03,120
Speaker 2: Wow you guys, I am feeling all of the fields.

847
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 2: I am feeling all of the fields. So as you

848
00:43:06,200 --> 00:43:11,600
Speaker 2: guys know, I did the hater episode and we had

849
00:43:11,680 --> 00:43:14,800
Speaker 2: wonderful people write in. They were constructive, they were amazing,

850
00:43:14,840 --> 00:43:17,960
Speaker 2: they were down to go toes. And then we got

851
00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:21,040
Speaker 2: we got a lot of people writing and asking to

852
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:24,439
Speaker 2: do an episode to kind of show me some love.

853
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,759
Speaker 2: And I know that you guys have watched me for

854
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:31,880
Speaker 2: many years on television. I think you see a different

855
00:43:31,920 --> 00:43:35,160
Speaker 2: side of me when we do the podcast. This is

856
00:43:35,200 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 2: like my safe space with my pod. I felt really

857
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:40,480
Speaker 2: weird about it. I'm like, I don't know if I

858
00:43:40,560 --> 00:43:44,480
Speaker 2: want to do an episode where it's just like tooting

859
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:49,719
Speaker 2: my horn and giving me love. So the reasoning for

860
00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:55,160
Speaker 2: this is I want people to be able to give

861
00:43:55,200 --> 00:43:59,240
Speaker 2: flowers where they are due. We have so many shows

862
00:43:59,680 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 2: that are reality based where everyone is putting their lives

863
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,640
Speaker 2: out there and living their authentic lives, the good, the bad,

864
00:44:07,719 --> 00:44:10,080
Speaker 2: the ugly. We see them in peace, we see them

865
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:14,000
Speaker 2: in disarray. We watched their homes go from happy to

866
00:44:14,280 --> 00:44:17,680
Speaker 2: oh my god, we're getting divorced, and my life looks

867
00:44:17,719 --> 00:44:21,719
Speaker 2: different like we're with them watching. And I find it

868
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:25,160
Speaker 2: very important because the comment section can be hateful and

869
00:44:25,239 --> 00:44:30,360
Speaker 2: judgmental and loud and unfucking productive, but to see the

870
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: amount of love I had in the DMS. I want

871
00:44:33,040 --> 00:44:36,160
Speaker 2: you guys, or wanted you guys to also share and

872
00:44:36,200 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 2: make this podcast more about people who are putting their

873
00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:43,560
Speaker 2: lives out there on TV, who you relate to, and.

874
00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 1: We don't get our flowers very often.

875
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:51,120
Speaker 2: I want people who are on reality TV to get

876
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:54,879
Speaker 2: their flowers because sometimes those messages go unnoticed.

877
00:44:55,800 --> 00:44:58,560
Speaker 1: So I wanted this to be the platform to do that.

878
00:44:58,640 --> 00:45:01,239
Speaker 2: As much as I love y'all too, I kind of

879
00:45:01,280 --> 00:45:02,840
Speaker 2: wanted to everybody's horn.

880
00:45:02,880 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 1: Who's like, really in a.

881
00:45:05,200 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 2: Fun position of filming a reality show but getting fucked

882
00:45:09,280 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 2: up by that comment section. Man, we know who we

883
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:14,879
Speaker 2: are until we read the comment section. Then we look

884
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,480
Speaker 2: at the mirror and go, oh shit. I thought I

885
00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:18,440
Speaker 2: was like a pretty bad bitch. I handled shit like

886
00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 2: a champ, but y'all have made me think otherwise. I

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00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,319
Speaker 2: hope you enjoyed this episode just as much as you

888
00:45:24,440 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 2: enjoyed the beef episode. I'm gonna catch you guys on

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00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:31,040
Speaker 2: Monday and again on Wednesday for the regular episode.

890
00:45:31,239 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 3: Bye