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Speaker 1: Amy Robot and TJ. Holmes present Aubry o Day Covering

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Speaker 1: the Ditty Trial. Is based on transcripts, sources, and reporting

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Speaker 1: from the courtroom.

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Speaker 2: As is obvious, Aubrey Oday is not present in the

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Speaker 2: courtroom during the proceedings.

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Speaker 3: Amy and TJ presents.

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Speaker 1: Aubrey O'Day Covering the Ditty Trial.

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Speaker 3: Welcome everyone to this edition of Amy and TJ Presents

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Speaker 3: Aubrey O'Day Covering the Ditty Trial. Yes, we are talking

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Speaker 3: all things Sean ditty Combs while he is on trial

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Speaker 3: here in Manhattan, facing five federal accounts and facing life

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Speaker 3: in prison. And we've been speaking with Aubrey because of

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Speaker 3: course she is well. She was one of his proteges

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Speaker 3: in her band Danity Kine. She knows him well. She

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Speaker 3: certainly has been offering her perspective. But with us today,

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Speaker 3: first of all, we have well, he's known as Q.

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Speaker 3: His actual name is kwan El Moseley. He's an American singer.

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Speaker 3: You may remember him from the band Day twenty six,

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Speaker 3: also with making the band. So he and Aubrey go

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Speaker 3: way back. Thank you all. How are you all doing this?

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Speaker 3: This is some heavy stuff you're having to relive A Lione,

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Speaker 3: lot of trauma. How are each of you doing all?

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Speaker 3: We will start with you.

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Speaker 4: Oh, I just had inter deduction alone. Just gave me

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Speaker 4: like stomach slips. You feel that, yeah, yeah, yeah, heavy?

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Speaker 4: Right now.

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Speaker 5: It was a hell of a week. We've been talking

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Speaker 5: to you for several days here, we're hanging out with

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Speaker 5: you here in New York. But Q, this is the

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Speaker 5: first time we've gotten a chance to talk to you

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Speaker 5: and get a reaction. What is your first reaction after

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Speaker 5: the first week of full testimonies in the books?

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Speaker 1: Well, honestly, in my opinion, I think this case is

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Speaker 1: is it's very disgusting to see and to hear the

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Speaker 1: things that went on in a relationship between Cassie and Diddy,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just like, I'm overwhelmed, Like I try to

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Speaker 1: avoid it watching it on TV, but I click on

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Speaker 1: the media and it's right right there.

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Speaker 4: Why are you overwhelmed? Well, did you know those things

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Speaker 4: were happening?

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Speaker 1: Honestly, yes, I did know those things were happening, as

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Speaker 1: not the freak offs, but as far as like the

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Speaker 1: abuse part. You know, I did hear about it, and

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Speaker 1: I was around certain certain times when they were arguing

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Speaker 1: on the phone and stuff. Yeah, I was very, very overwhelmed,

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Speaker 1: like I don't want to see no more of this. Q.

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Speaker 3: How would you describe your relationship with Diddy?

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Speaker 1: With Diddy okay, well, I called Diddy mister mogul. My

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Speaker 1: relationship with him, I would say as a boss. I

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Speaker 1: feel like he respected me being in day twenty six.

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Speaker 1: But I feel like, honestly, Aubrey, he didn't respect the

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Speaker 1: fact that I was dating one of his.

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Speaker 4: Artists, dating Dawn. Yes, he didn't respect that.

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Speaker 1: I don't think he did. I think he kind of

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Speaker 1: was intimidated in a way. And even though he had

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Speaker 1: all this money and he was powerful and had everything

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Speaker 1: in the world, I felt like he was intimidated by

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Speaker 1: me dating her.

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Speaker 4: Why would he be intimidated because he.

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Speaker 1: Wanted to control and manipulate the situation. He wanted full control.

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Speaker 1: He didn't want any other I felt like he didn't

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Speaker 1: want any other.

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Speaker 4: Man, so he felt like he wanted full control at Dawn.

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Speaker 1: Yes, I feel like that.

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Speaker 5: Yes, you thought he was after her in a romantic

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Speaker 5: way or he just didn't like anybody any other man

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Speaker 5: in her territories.

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Speaker 1: I felt like it was Hmmm. The feelings I would

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Speaker 1: get were like because I was dating her, so I

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Speaker 1: felt like does he like me? Sometimes? Does he not

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Speaker 1: like me? Does he want me around? And my being

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Speaker 1: around because you know, he doesn't want like he doesn't

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Speaker 1: want me around, because like like I'll find out too

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Speaker 1: much information?

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Speaker 4: Like I felt, are you finding out information?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I would see things, you know, I would. I

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Speaker 1: would hear things and see things, yes, and that I

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Speaker 1: felt a little scared and paranoid around them sometimes.

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Speaker 6: Too, like.

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Speaker 3: You can you tell us what you heard and what

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Speaker 3: you saw?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well I'll go back. I remember, okay, when it

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Speaker 1: first started, when I got paranoid, we were in the Hamptons.

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Speaker 1: We were in the studio in New York City, and

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Speaker 1: I was with Dirty Money at this time. I was

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Speaker 1: around Dirty Money for about a year while they were

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Speaker 1: creating Last Train of Paris. And I guess I was

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Speaker 1: around because I was dating Dawn. I happened. I just

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Speaker 1: happened to be around. So Diddy's like, I think he

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Speaker 1: was very very high. He's like, we're gonna go to

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Speaker 1: the Hamptons. He was like, we're gonna go stay to

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Speaker 1: night there and you guys want to come, And it

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Speaker 1: felt very weird because he's never this energy just felt

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Speaker 1: so weird, you know what I mean. It was friendly

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Speaker 1: high you know what I'm saying, Like a friendly invitation

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Speaker 1: to something.

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Speaker 3: He wasn't usually like that.

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Speaker 1: No, he's never invited all of us to one of

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Speaker 1: his houses. So we get to that. Before we get

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Speaker 1: to the Hamptons, they're like speeding in these black SUVs

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Speaker 1: on the expressway, very very fast, like they were in

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Speaker 1: a rush to get to the Hamptons. We get to

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Speaker 1: the Hamptons and we walked through the house and we

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Speaker 1: arrived in the backyard near the pool, and my ex

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Speaker 1: at the time, which was dawn, she gave me an

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Speaker 1: ecstasy pill and she said, oh yeah, she said it

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Speaker 1: was ecstasy, and she said it was from puff to

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Speaker 1: give to me, and it was red. And I took

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Speaker 1: it because I thought I was going to get frea

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Speaker 1: hued with my girlfriend. You know, we tried ecstasy before,

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Speaker 1: and I was I trusted her that that's what it was,

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Speaker 1: so I took it immediately, and she had one too.

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Speaker 1: He gave her two of them. I took mine within

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Speaker 1: like twenty minutes. I knocked out and blacked out. I

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Speaker 1: woke up in the twins' bedroom in the basement, and

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Speaker 1: I woke up out of my sleep screaming, very very loud.

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Speaker 1: Are the twins, I don't know their names.

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Speaker 4: You're talking about, Yeah, Diddy twins.

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Speaker 1: His girls. Yeah. I woke up in their bed, two

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Speaker 1: cameras filming me, and they were laughing as I woke

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Speaker 1: up out of my sleep screaming, and it felt like

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna cry.

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Speaker 3: Okay, Yeah, take your time. It's okay. It's understandable that

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Speaker 3: you're reliving this and emotion comes with it. It's just no

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Speaker 3: way around it.

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Speaker 1: So it's it felt very sacrificial. That's what I ad

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Speaker 1: met when I said I felt like they were trying

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Speaker 1: to hurt me or Diddy was trying to maybe sacrifice

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Speaker 1: me that night. I didn't say when I went to

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Speaker 1: blad TV, I didn't say anything about finding it secrificial.

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Speaker 1: Email do.

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Speaker 4: What he's discussing in regards to Vlad TV is that's

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Speaker 4: one of the interviews that the boys did. He had

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Speaker 4: to leave gaps within that interview, and they decided to

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Speaker 4: fill those gaps. It's kind of what I've experienced this

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Speaker 4: past week. As you guys know, we started this out

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Speaker 4: and it was you know, we all have this intention

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Speaker 4: to talk our way through to the end of this

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Speaker 4: trial and hopefully see justice for whatever we uh, whatever

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Speaker 4: is proven and whatever the jury decides. Even you, you

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Speaker 4: had situations that were just made up out of nowhere,

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Speaker 4: so did I. Last week, Q was discussing one in

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Speaker 4: which he couldn't say certain things because he's honoring a contract,

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Speaker 4: and within that people decided to fill in the blank.

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Speaker 4: So he discussed an email he had tears. People put

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Speaker 4: it together that he's crying over an email and what

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Speaker 4: it like basically tried to like suggest that he's not

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Speaker 4: a man and he's boohooing over an email and so

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Speaker 4: on and so forth.

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Speaker 1: Boozy says something crazy. It's Boozy said, explain who everybody

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Speaker 1: so little Boozy is, And respectfully, I want to say

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Speaker 1: to him, like, like, that's not You shouldn't have said

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Speaker 1: that I wanted to get f'd by Ditty or or

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Speaker 1: if that's possibly the reason why I'm crying, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean, that's messed up. You don't know me

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Speaker 1: at all, mister Boozy, and you don't You didn't hear

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Speaker 1: that the story that I just told, And if you

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Speaker 1: would have heard that, maybe you would have had a

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Speaker 1: different like reaction. And to Chopper into STEVEJ who also responded,

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Speaker 1: like respect.

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Speaker 4: They are all colleagues of cues in the industry.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I just want to say respectfully to them, just like,

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Speaker 1: don't believe everything before you actually hear the truth. Because

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Speaker 1: people added things and I don't have nothing bad to

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Speaker 1: say about them at all. I just want them to

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Speaker 1: just understand that, you know, be respectful to everyone's trauma.

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Speaker 1: You don't know when a person is still healing and

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Speaker 1: going through the process of healing, and you can add

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Speaker 1: you don't know if I'm still thinking like I want

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Speaker 1: to hurt myself for or I'm scared and thinking someone's

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Speaker 1: gonna all those mental thoughts. You don't know what I'm

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Speaker 1: going through for you to say those mean things to

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Speaker 1: just add on to my mental health.

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Speaker 5: I know there are some details about the incident you

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Speaker 5: described maybe you don't want to get into and no,

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Speaker 5: let's get it, okay, we can. Can I go with

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Speaker 5: how I know you can be open about how it

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Speaker 5: made you feel. Right, So you're saying after this particular incident,

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Speaker 5: you you left there feeling you called it sacrificial, But

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Speaker 5: did you felt as if they were to.

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Speaker 1: Hurt me in my sleep? Because I woke up screaming.

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Speaker 1: I woke about my sleep screaming, So what I mean

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Speaker 1: by it felt like sacrificial. It felt like someone was

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Speaker 1: trying to hurt me or take me out, because I

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Speaker 1: possibly couldn't have woke about it my sleep that night.

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Speaker 3: Do you know what happened to you?

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Speaker 1: I woke up screaming like a girl to the top

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Speaker 1: of my lungs on a high pitch.

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Speaker 4: Well, did you have clothes on?

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Speaker 1: I think I was in my shorts because I remember

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Speaker 1: jumping into a swimming pool.

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Speaker 3: But do you believe that some of what happened to

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Speaker 3: you was recorded on one or many of these ideas?

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Speaker 7: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw phones and lights. It wasn't a video camera,

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Speaker 1: it was a phone camera light.

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Speaker 3: So there are people who do know what happened to you,

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Speaker 3: And there's a reason, you believe why they're not telling you.

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Speaker 5: Yes, you all themselves, Well say agin them to protect themselves.

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Speaker 1: Of course, that's what I feel.

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Speaker 5: It seems like after talking to you, you all are

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Speaker 5: in the same position, and is this might be typical

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Speaker 5: at this point when you all were young folks in

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Speaker 5: around this high powered guy, in this high powered environment,

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Speaker 5: and you all sitting here twenty years later, Do I

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Speaker 5: have it right? Or in the same boat of trying

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Speaker 5: to still figure out what happened.

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Speaker 4: To you both Without all of those pieces put together,

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Speaker 4: you just spend every single hour of every single day

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Speaker 4: unless you find a way to distract yourself trying to

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Speaker 4: figure out what you were in qu say, now, I'm

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Speaker 4: wondering what my group was right, right right? I know

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Speaker 4: things to not make sense, you know, I experienced that

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Speaker 4: a lot, But but to hear the levels of like,

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Speaker 4: I don't know, it sounds that sounds like orchestration almost,

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Speaker 4: you know, like have him explode into these like narratives

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Speaker 4: about me that I had to carry, you know, puff

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Speaker 4: left it on. You're being fired for being raunchy, promiscuous,

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Speaker 4: bad for business. None of those things were accurate to

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Speaker 4: me and are accurate to me, were or are accurate

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Speaker 4: to me, And and yet I had to then come

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Speaker 4: up from under that. Like you guys understand what it's

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Speaker 4: like to come up from under something. It's damn near impossible.

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Speaker 4: I don't know that you ever do. I'm waiting for

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Speaker 4: the day. I still can't. As of this week, even

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Speaker 4: when we announced the podcast, it was she's testifying we

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Speaker 4: love her. Now she's doing a podcast and she's refusing

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Speaker 4: to take the stand, as if I have any ability

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Speaker 4: to take a stand, as if I can walk up

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Speaker 4: to the core or jump on in the stand and say, hey, everybody,

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Speaker 4: Aubrey's here. I even see sights saying that I'm I'm

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Speaker 4: supporting Diddy. I know, like I knew when Q was

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Speaker 4: coming on, like he really wanted to address what a

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Speaker 4: specific outlet was, like the narratives that they were pushing

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Speaker 4: on him because he couldn't open up and talk about

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Speaker 4: his full story. And I know how frustrating that is,

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Speaker 4: because it builds and builds and builds, and and you

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Speaker 4: you start to feel like you're like sinking yea.

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Speaker 7: And the way that they twisted things, you know what

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Speaker 7: I mean, the way that they twisted.

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Speaker 4: What is it like to watch it from your perspective

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Speaker 4: as his mom?

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Speaker 7: Okay, so as a mom, hold on, wait, let us

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Speaker 7: get a mic, just.

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Speaker 8: To relive things, watching my son come back from it's okay.

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Speaker 3: Just.

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Speaker 1: Watching my son come back.

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Speaker 7: From being around dawning them when this incident happened, and

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Speaker 7: him coming home and we not understanding what happened here.

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Speaker 7: I have my son young eighteen nineteen, never seen him

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Speaker 7: in this state before, and I'm like, what happened? He

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Speaker 7: went away, he comes home and he's locked in his room,

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Speaker 7: he's talking crazy. I'm like, what is going on? To

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Speaker 7: have him admitted into a hospital. And for them thinking

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Speaker 7: that maybe he was on what is it K two

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Speaker 7: or something like that, and they said, well, whatever it is,

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Speaker 7: we don't know what it is. And I think if

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Speaker 7: I wasn't there for my son, I think that they

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Speaker 7: would have sucked him in to something more.

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Speaker 3: Nicole, can you describe your son before he started with

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Speaker 3: this band, with Diddy, with this whole world. Who was

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Speaker 3: he before?

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Speaker 7: He was so energetic, he was so I mean, he

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Speaker 7: was fan's favorite.

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Speaker 1: Everybody loved him.

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Speaker 7: Was he a'es to dancing, he vocals, all of that,

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Speaker 7: you know, And then it just turned around like somebody

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Speaker 7: had did something that we just could not put our

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Speaker 7: finger on.

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Speaker 5: Where is your anger and level of blame that goes

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Speaker 5: toward Sean Diddy?

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Speaker 1: Combs?

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Speaker 7: Well, when it comes to Diddy, I think the fact

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Speaker 7: that he orchestrated, he was part of the orchestration as

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Speaker 7: far as like producing the pills or whatever things like that.

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Speaker 7: Aubrey remember this you know, for mom me taking him

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Speaker 7: to the hospital and stuff like that. We later found

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Speaker 7: there were things that was found in him in the system.

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Speaker 7: It's in this medical so it like I said, you know,

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Speaker 7: this wasn't something that just you know what I mean,

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Speaker 7: something that's heredita.

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Speaker 4: You're saying like a substance was found in there, but.

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Speaker 7: They couldn't determine exactly what it was, is what I'm saying.

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Speaker 7: At the time, like I said, they thought it was

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Speaker 7: hwo K two.

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Speaker 1: But what I wanted to say was with you guys,

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Speaker 1: after my mental health I was healing, I finally admitted

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Speaker 1: it in my records that I felt like Diddy was

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Speaker 1: trying to in my mental records that I felt like

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Speaker 1: Diddy was trying to hurt me or come get me.

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Speaker 1: So like a couple of years later, not in the beginning,

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Speaker 1: but as you read owned my mental records, as I

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Speaker 1: was admitted into the hospital, because it wasn't just once,

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Speaker 1: it was numerous the times, Like towards the middle, I

295
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Speaker 1: started being honest and it was like, I feel like

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Speaker 1: Diddy is trying to come after me and hurt me.

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Speaker 1: I started like speaking up.

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Speaker 5: How many people have stories like that? I mean, how

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Speaker 5: would you okay, you all were eighteen ninety the old

300
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Speaker 5: kids around this, how many people do you all believe?

301
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Speaker 5: And you might even know, but give us an idea.

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Speaker 5: Have stories somewhere like that that are silent that we

303
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Speaker 5: might even never know about that it's not just a

304
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Speaker 5: matter of Diddy, but Diddy this person that work is

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Speaker 5: just his circle.

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Speaker 1: You think a lot of people have a story.

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Speaker 2: Like it was?

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00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, I believe they do. I believe a lot of

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Speaker 1: young people around my age. I started off when I

310
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Speaker 1: was eighteen nineteen. I think a lot of young because

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Speaker 1: that's what they do. They come after the young minded.

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Speaker 1: They oppress, you know, the people they can manipulate. It's

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Speaker 1: hard to manipulate somebody your age, but it's very easy

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Speaker 1: to manipulate someone younger because of your influence. You know,

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Speaker 1: people with influence can manipulate, can control, and it's because

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Speaker 1: of their influence, and it makes us. It makes the

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Speaker 1: person that like the people like me, like going after

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Speaker 1: their dreams and having to endure and encounter compromising situations.

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Speaker 1: What I'm trying to say, that's what they usually do

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Speaker 1: to young people because they can put young people and

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Speaker 1: they compromise the situations because a young person will basically

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Speaker 1: do whatever they have to do to so in most

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Speaker 1: cases she.

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Speaker 4: Aligns with what Cassie is saying on the stand. She

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Speaker 4: is saying she was very young. There was such a

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Speaker 4: presence and a power to him. I mean, if you

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Speaker 4: look at all of them making the band seasons, he

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Speaker 4: was able to manipulate all of us to do all

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Speaker 4: kinds of ridiculous shit. So there is this power in

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Speaker 4: this presence with him that maybe, you know, an average

331
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Speaker 4: show would just not understand how it just sucks all

332
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Speaker 4: of the air out of the room when he's in it.

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Speaker 4: It's just all consuming. I don't know how else to

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Speaker 4: explain the way in which his power dominates a room. Q.

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Speaker 4: You did tell me interesting story about We had a

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Speaker 4: president at Bad Boy named Harv Pierre. He's been mentioned

337
00:18:06,640 --> 00:18:08,439
Speaker 4: during this trial. His face was on the boards the

338
00:18:08,440 --> 00:18:15,159
Speaker 4: first day, like mine was. You had a story with

339
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Speaker 4: him that you told me that I thought was like

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Speaker 4: shocking because Harve is like the one of the heads

341
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Speaker 4: of the organization, right, so so he was always like

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Speaker 4: very superior and we always had to kind of like

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Speaker 4: look up to this guy. He was always running with

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Speaker 4: puff everywhere. And you told me a story about.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, so I'm making the band four on

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Speaker 1: the last season when you weren't there.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I wasn't there.

348
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Speaker 1: So they made it seem like I was going crazy

349
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Speaker 1: and I was really talking about management. And then Puff

350
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Speaker 1: was like, I'm going to see you home with your

351
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Speaker 1: family because you've been acting crazy and stuff whatever, fighting everybody,

352
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Speaker 1: and I didn't go home. I went to the super

353
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Speaker 1: Bowl with him Don and Cassie and his team, and

354
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Speaker 1: the super Bowl was in Tampa Bay, and well after

355
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Speaker 1: he went to the club and he was getting ready

356
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Speaker 1: to get inside his suv. Harv was in his suv

357
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Speaker 1: and he made Harf Pierre get out of the suv

358
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Speaker 1: and he asked me and down sit in the back

359
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Speaker 1: seat next to Cassie and he was in the front seat.

360
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Speaker 1: So that was kind of weird. That was like, I'm

361
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Speaker 1: making the band for when I didn't really know him,

362
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Speaker 1: and he asked me, like where was I from? So

363
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Speaker 1: that was a weird introduction, you know. That's kind of

364
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Speaker 1: probably was like when my mom was trying to say

365
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Speaker 1: she was grooming me maybe four ford, you know what

366
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Speaker 1: I'm saying.

367
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Speaker 3: Like, did he want to get a look at you?

368
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Speaker 3: As she was bringing him to me.

369
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Speaker 4: It just felt so weird. You would never tell Harve

370
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Speaker 4: to get out and let two artists get in the

371
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Speaker 4: car that he doesn't even pay us know me yet

372
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Speaker 4: it was weird when he said that. It stood out

373
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Speaker 4: to me like I couldn't even imagine him telling Harve

374
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Speaker 4: to get out the car like that would that sounds un.

375
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Speaker 1: Harvard looked like what he was like, huh?

376
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Speaker 7: And I used to you know, Q and I are

377
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:02,879
Speaker 7: very close, so you know, I think that being that

378
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,960
Speaker 7: Dawn knew that how close we were, I think that

379
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,760
Speaker 7: that stopped a lot.

380
00:20:09,119 --> 00:20:10,720
Speaker 1: I really I think that.

381
00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 7: She couldn't they couldn't get him the way that they

382
00:20:13,560 --> 00:20:17,439
Speaker 7: really wanted because I really inserted myself a lot. This

383
00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:21,119
Speaker 7: is my only son, So I mean, we we're still

384
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,480
Speaker 7: very close to this day, you know what I mean.

385
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,639
Speaker 7: But there's some things that you know, you take to

386
00:20:25,680 --> 00:20:27,440
Speaker 7: the grave with you. Just like hearing some of these

387
00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 7: things just a few minutes ago.

388
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Speaker 1: I just go into details. I went in details with you, mmm, Q.

389
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Speaker 3: When you got into that car with with Diddy and

390
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 3: down what happened to that and Cassie? What happened in

391
00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 3: that car? What was talked about? What was said, was it?

392
00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:48,679
Speaker 3: What was the mood like?

393
00:20:49,840 --> 00:20:51,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, So when I got in the car with Diddy

394
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:57,719
Speaker 1: and Cassie and Tampa Bay, they seem like they had

395
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,560
Speaker 1: a couple of drinks. But it wasn't wasn't nothing uncomfortable,

396
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 1: Nobody crossed the line or everything there. He was just

397
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,399
Speaker 1: asking questions Cassie. Cassie was very quiet. She was just

398
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:11,000
Speaker 1: sitting there like and she seemed like she didn't want

399
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,560
Speaker 1: to go through with whatever he was getting ready to orchestrate.

400
00:21:14,640 --> 00:21:17,400
Speaker 1: She seemed like she was uncomfortable, like, no, these are

401
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 1: I don't want to do this with with Q and

402
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: Don or whatever whatever he was orchestrating. But he was

403
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:28,080
Speaker 1: asking questions like where you're from. I think he asked

404
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:29,040
Speaker 1: me what was my name?

405
00:21:29,880 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 4: Where you were in the band? He chose you in

406
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 4: the band, he didn't know your name.

407
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,119
Speaker 1: He was high. I think he was very high. I

408
00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 1: think you know he's always he's always high on ecstasy.

409
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,600
Speaker 1: That's his that's his main drug.

410
00:21:44,080 --> 00:21:46,159
Speaker 7: I remember down telling me, because you know, I used

411
00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:47,040
Speaker 7: to have conversations.

412
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Speaker 4: What else did he ask you?

413
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:52,040
Speaker 1: Sorry, That's all I could remember, to be honest, and

414
00:21:52,119 --> 00:21:52,679
Speaker 1: that they used to.

415
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 7: Fake like they were given pills when they went to

416
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 7: different occasions, different things, studio, stuff like that. And Q

417
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:03,280
Speaker 7: was telling me that how her Q and Don, because

418
00:22:03,320 --> 00:22:05,439
Speaker 7: remember Don would come to our house and spend like

419
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:09,320
Speaker 7: days like with Q and stuff like that. And she

420
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,480
Speaker 7: would say, oh, well, you know, we would go to

421
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:15,120
Speaker 7: these parties and we would take the pills and put

422
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 7: them in our pocket, but we would have to act

423
00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:21,119
Speaker 7: like you know that they were on whatever the people

424
00:22:21,200 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 7: at the parties were on.

425
00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:23,119
Speaker 3: Wow.

426
00:22:23,240 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 7: And I would say, I used to tell QQ, that's smart.

427
00:22:25,560 --> 00:22:28,040
Speaker 7: But all along, I think Q was lying to me

428
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 7: because he was actually taking the pills because he was

429
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 7: eighteen nineteen years old and he knew that.

430
00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 1: I wish what are you doing? Like what are you doing?

431
00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 1: You know?

432
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 7: And I would have said those things to him, like

433
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:42,439
Speaker 7: what are you doing? You don't listen?

434
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,480
Speaker 1: So I'm not taking nothing.

435
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:50,040
Speaker 7: I'm not gonna take nothing because I don't want to.

436
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,879
Speaker 7: I don't even want to know what's going to happen.

437
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,159
Speaker 7: I mean, I hear stories about people sniffing cocaine and

438
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,159
Speaker 7: their heartbust or something, you know what I mean, just

439
00:22:57,160 --> 00:22:59,720
Speaker 7: just different things. I don't want to be in that situation.

440
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,760
Speaker 7: So I probably would have said that to my son, like,

441
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:04,880
Speaker 7: what are you doing? This is not what you're here for.

442
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:08,240
Speaker 7: But I get it now that when you're a celebrity

443
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,440
Speaker 7: and you you got cameras following you when you leave

444
00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:14,000
Speaker 7: out of the hotel, or you're you know whatever, on

445
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,800
Speaker 7: the streets, you're running and you're just subjected to being

446
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,440
Speaker 7: in a hotel.

447
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:18,600
Speaker 1: So what else can we do?

448
00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:23,280
Speaker 7: What else can we do but pop pills and you know,

449
00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:27,320
Speaker 7: just do things. And so I kind of understood why

450
00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 7: he did do things because it's you guys' lives were

451
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 7: different from other people's lives and you couldn't do normal things.

452
00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:40,640
Speaker 7: You understand what I'm saying outside of you guys get Yeah,

453
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 7: As a mom, I kind of understood it, but I

454
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,879
Speaker 7: was still angry with him as to what are you

455
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,360
Speaker 7: guys doing? But when he I felt safer when him

456
00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:52,119
Speaker 7: and Don said, oh no, we used to put the

457
00:23:52,160 --> 00:23:55,240
Speaker 7: pills in our pockets. We used to pretend, you know,

458
00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 7: they're bopping around or whatever.

459
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:59,320
Speaker 4: It's possible that she was a victim too.

460
00:23:59,520 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 7: To it.

461
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,639
Speaker 1: I'm not saying she's not a victim because I'm not

462
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 1: here to judge her story or whatever she's saying. I'm

463
00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,439
Speaker 1: not here to say she's not a victim. But what

464
00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:11,399
Speaker 1: I'm saying is she's not innocent as far as.

465
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,720
Speaker 4: It's kind of what Cassie's kind of saying on the

466
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,080
Speaker 4: stand when they were cross examining her, like, well, there

467
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,720
Speaker 4: are some text messages that suggest that she wanted an

468
00:24:20,800 --> 00:24:24,640
Speaker 4: even wilder freak off than the last time or whatever.

469
00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:26,600
Speaker 4: When they read a lot of the text messages, there

470
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:30,679
Speaker 4: was some admission to at least some of them being

471
00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,800
Speaker 4: you know, they're being an awareness of some of them.

472
00:24:35,160 --> 00:24:37,639
Speaker 4: You know, it's hard when you get into this topic

473
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:41,240
Speaker 4: because when you groom people and they understand to express

474
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,720
Speaker 4: themselves and to get attention from you, they need to

475
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 4: be sexual. You can write a sexual message, but really

476
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:50,240
Speaker 4: just mean I want to be with spend time with you,

477
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,040
Speaker 4: you know. So it's like to me when I was

478
00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:55,480
Speaker 4: hearing it, I just kept leaving that that space in

479
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 4: there where I know survivors live, which is just like,

480
00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:03,159
Speaker 4: you can't take those moments and turn them into this

481
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,960
Speaker 4: person wanted at all because a lot of times those

482
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:09,800
Speaker 4: messages come from a place that you're trained to understand

483
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,159
Speaker 4: it makes you most attractive to that person.

484
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:14,439
Speaker 3: But where is the line between being a victim and

485
00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 3: being an accomplice.

486
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 4: And that is that right there. Amy is what I'm

487
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:20,600
Speaker 4: having a very hard time with with all of this.

488
00:25:20,760 --> 00:25:25,160
Speaker 4: That's why I wanted to, you know, do this. I've

489
00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:29,440
Speaker 4: been sitting here with stories like cues like many back

490
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:32,639
Speaker 4: and forth and back and forth. I switch over to

491
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:37,600
Speaker 4: sides daily wondering. You know. I try to put like

492
00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:40,200
Speaker 4: Q went on for much longer with the dirty money people.

493
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,639
Speaker 4: You know, I was fired, so I was living a

494
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:45,000
Speaker 4: completely different life. I wasn't exposed to any of the

495
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 4: drugs or any of the things that were going on

496
00:25:46,720 --> 00:25:49,159
Speaker 4: like that. So when I hear these things, I'm like,

497
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:52,800
Speaker 4: I always just try to like know what I know,

498
00:25:52,800 --> 00:25:55,320
Speaker 4: know what I saw, know what I think could be

499
00:25:55,359 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 4: possible from what I saw, know what I am shocked by,

500
00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:00,520
Speaker 4: and I try to like make sense of it all.

501
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:04,160
Speaker 4: But it sounds like, from like the point where I

502
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:07,400
Speaker 4: am checked out moving forward, that it got the drugs

503
00:26:07,400 --> 00:26:12,200
Speaker 4: were a very common constant state. From the testimony and

504
00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,639
Speaker 4: from people that were living there that are speaking with us,

505
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 4: it just sounds like that is something that was getting

506
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:19,520
Speaker 4: very out of control.

507
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:22,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree, it's possible.

508
00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 5: You just said it, But how do you find a balance.

509
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,399
Speaker 5: Isn't it possible that everybody in his world that's a

510
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 5: part of this is legitimately a victim and some are

511
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,600
Speaker 5: legitimately accomplices, Like can't they be very That's tough.

512
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,720
Speaker 4: This is for me as a woman, I find it

513
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,000
Speaker 4: very hard to think that because you're either on the

514
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 4: side of the victims or you defend the bad guy, right,

515
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 4: And as women, we don't get a lot of We

516
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:45,919
Speaker 4: don't get a lot of rope to say, well, I

517
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,800
Speaker 4: believe these four things that the person said these two.

518
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,200
Speaker 4: I saw some things where I know that those two

519
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:54,560
Speaker 4: are probably not fully the truth. And I could believe this,

520
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 4: but she could be lying too, Like I'm never given

521
00:26:57,640 --> 00:27:00,840
Speaker 4: the grace of being able to dissect and any like that.

522
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 4: I just have to make a blanket statement because I

523
00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,040
Speaker 4: feel as a woman, especially in the celebrity world, you're

524
00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:08,199
Speaker 4: either with women or you aren't, and we kind of

525
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,480
Speaker 4: have to be in these lanes, and it makes dissecting

526
00:27:10,560 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 4: things a bit difficult. And also because there are so

527
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:17,760
Speaker 4: many headlines and journalists being so irresponsible, you almost fear

528
00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:20,639
Speaker 4: that the one thing you say that is a dissection

529
00:27:21,119 --> 00:27:24,639
Speaker 4: gets carried off into the sunset. When you dissected it properly,

530
00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:26,919
Speaker 4: and then you're on this side or you're on that.

531
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,680
Speaker 4: I'm being told that I'm on sides that I haven't

532
00:27:28,720 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 4: even dissected yet. I'm scared to dissect. But I could.

533
00:27:32,440 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 4: I could absolutely dissect, and I could absolutely pick all

534
00:27:34,960 --> 00:27:37,199
Speaker 4: kinds of things apart. I do it every day since

535
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 4: all of this started. But I don't feel like there's

536
00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 4: any room to do that. And that's a problem I

537
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,960
Speaker 4: think we really need to figure out as a society,

538
00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:49,200
Speaker 4: because that's why there's such extreme palpable reactions to this case.

539
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,360
Speaker 4: There are some people that are just blankets saying Cassie

540
00:27:52,480 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 4: is lying, that are celebrities, that are people that are

541
00:27:55,760 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 4: known in the industry that we're around, and they're just

542
00:27:57,480 --> 00:28:00,400
Speaker 4: suggesting that. Then there are people that are fully with her.

543
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,959
Speaker 4: There's a lot of really palpable feelings toward it because

544
00:28:04,280 --> 00:28:07,800
Speaker 4: it seems like, according to her testimony, there's proof that

545
00:28:07,840 --> 00:28:11,280
Speaker 4: there was days that there were you know, okay, or

546
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:15,159
Speaker 4: that maybe that somehow in the messages, it suggests that

547
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:19,080
Speaker 4: there was an agreement on certain days, and then on

548
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 4: certain days it seems like it got out of control

549
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:32,280
Speaker 4: and it was not wanted at all. Q.

550
00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,760
Speaker 3: I'm curious because you just sounds like it was like

551
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 3: you did see a lot more and were involved a

552
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:40,840
Speaker 3: lot more in that other side of things from what

553
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,920
Speaker 3: you've heard and read of Cassie's testimony. Is she telling

554
00:28:43,960 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 3: the truth?

555
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: In my opinion, yes, I believe she's Selden the truth

556
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,400
Speaker 1: and I and they're talking about like this might not

557
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 1: be trafficking now, I believe like trafficking is like when.

558
00:28:56,920 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 4: You force, there has to be forcing coersion, right.

559
00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: I believe because of his influence, he is forcing people

560
00:29:07,240 --> 00:29:10,720
Speaker 1: to be under his control and to it's under his rule,

561
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,160
Speaker 1: like like a serpent, like a sorceress, a person, you

562
00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,320
Speaker 1: know what I mean. I believe he is forcing.

563
00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:25,360
Speaker 4: We see force as such a action word. But when

564
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 4: I think of it, and then making the band context,

565
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 4: I just did what he said. I don't feel like

566
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,120
Speaker 4: anyone was giving me an action. But when he said

567
00:29:33,120 --> 00:29:35,240
Speaker 4: go run Central Park till somebody drops, that's just what

568
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 4: we did. We just had to. We just knew you

569
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:38,680
Speaker 4: had to. That's what you had to do. When I

570
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,080
Speaker 4: think of it now, that was there was force in that.

571
00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:43,480
Speaker 4: There was coercion in that there That wasn't something I

572
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:45,880
Speaker 4: wanted to do you know, like there was there were

573
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 4: those elements there. But when you're young, and because the

574
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:52,760
Speaker 4: way we defind these words, it's very difficult to understand

575
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:56,520
Speaker 4: that force factor and to verbalize it clearly to people

576
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,160
Speaker 4: because you're not looking at it like that when you're

577
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:02,960
Speaker 4: in that invite. It's just that environment is so far

578
00:30:03,080 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 4: from anyone's healthy natural state that when you're in it,

579
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,680
Speaker 4: and and like I said, when it's good, you feel like,

580
00:30:08,760 --> 00:30:11,120
Speaker 4: oh my god, I'm living in this cool place that

581
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 4: nobody understands. It's not even fame. I've seen fame at

582
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:19,160
Speaker 4: all levels. There's a lot of fame that's completely normal.

583
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 4: This is something else. This was like a This was

584
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:26,719
Speaker 4: like they did. The life over on that side is

585
00:30:26,960 --> 00:30:30,440
Speaker 4: just in extremes. I remember at one point being on

586
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 4: like Scott Storches, like that yacht that they had seized

587
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:34,920
Speaker 4: at one point. It's like gigantic. It's on the internet.

588
00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 4: It's this gigantic, shiny yacht that's got every bell and

589
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:41,560
Speaker 4: whistle on it. And we had been in his home

590
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,360
Speaker 4: recording and then we were all out on the yacht

591
00:30:43,360 --> 00:30:45,440
Speaker 4: with puff and I remember after that we had gotten

592
00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:47,040
Speaker 4: sent home for a while and I went home to

593
00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,560
Speaker 4: my sorority, and I was like, Wow, everybody's here is

594
00:30:49,600 --> 00:30:51,480
Speaker 4: real boring and this real stale, and I want to

595
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 4: go back over there where everything was like, it's the lifestyle,

596
00:30:56,160 --> 00:30:59,520
Speaker 4: and it's not just a wealthy lifestyle. It's like extravagant

597
00:30:59,600 --> 00:31:01,920
Speaker 4: and at a drop of a dime, did he will

598
00:31:01,920 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 4: stand up and suggest that everybody goes somewhere and that's

599
00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:09,640
Speaker 4: just what we do. Like it was just very intoxic. Yeah,

600
00:31:09,800 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 4: without even being on drugs.

601
00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 1: And especially if you're young, you like, I'll do anything

602
00:31:14,120 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 1: to get my life. I didn't feel that way, not anything.

603
00:31:17,040 --> 00:31:21,120
Speaker 1: But you're the influence of someone that has the power

604
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 1: to make you your dreams come true. You're like, oh

605
00:31:24,640 --> 00:31:26,680
Speaker 1: my gosh, whatever I have to do, like as far

606
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,320
Speaker 1: as like walking to get cheesecake like the things you're

607
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:33,480
Speaker 1: giving examples of, or running thirty miles around the fucking.

608
00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 4: What I'm learning as I talk to more people, is

609
00:31:36,120 --> 00:31:38,600
Speaker 4: there the degrees of that are different, right, Like what

610
00:31:38,680 --> 00:31:40,880
Speaker 4: you're willing to do, it depends on how you grew up.

611
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,760
Speaker 4: It depends on your experiences that you saw as a child.

612
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,320
Speaker 4: It depends on what you've normalized in life versus what

613
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,240
Speaker 4: you haven't. I was always known to like talk back

614
00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 4: to him. That's not necessarily a natural state for anyone

615
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:54,840
Speaker 4: else in my group to have done that, and they did.

616
00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,000
Speaker 4: Everybody's got different circumstances that we were raised in. So

617
00:31:58,120 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 4: the levels in which we fought that do anything card

618
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:04,400
Speaker 4: is different, but we're we're not different in regards to

619
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:07,760
Speaker 4: being under the blanket of being victims to it and

620
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:12,760
Speaker 4: experiencing the overall understanding of it. However, the levels to

621
00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 4: which people will go, as we're dissecting, even within my

622
00:32:15,360 --> 00:32:17,680
Speaker 4: own band, it sounds like there are levels to which

623
00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,600
Speaker 4: some you know, one of my band members may have

624
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,280
Speaker 4: gone that I just are foreign to me.

625
00:32:22,320 --> 00:32:25,440
Speaker 7: I would never Well, we come from the I actually

626
00:32:25,520 --> 00:32:26,720
Speaker 7: had Q when I was very young.

627
00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:28,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was sixteen.

628
00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:32,600
Speaker 7: People come from different lifestyles, yes, And unfortunately, you can

629
00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:35,840
Speaker 7: come from a lifestyle where you know, you're you know,

630
00:32:35,880 --> 00:32:39,720
Speaker 7: you're you're around this big person and oh wow, you

631
00:32:39,720 --> 00:32:42,000
Speaker 7: know what I mean, what can I do to make

632
00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:44,240
Speaker 7: sure that I stay at that level? You know?

633
00:32:44,480 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: And you know those type of things.

634
00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 4: And remember he's iconic in a culture as well. He's

635
00:32:50,440 --> 00:32:52,200
Speaker 4: a huge iconic figure.

636
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:53,960
Speaker 1: Correct and and and.

637
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:58,920
Speaker 7: I mean, like we probably grew up different. I probably

638
00:32:58,920 --> 00:33:01,480
Speaker 7: grew up different from how you were raised with your parents.

639
00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:04,600
Speaker 7: You probably had a bigger house and so for fun.

640
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:08,640
Speaker 7: And we come out of a neighborhood where, oh my god,

641
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:12,360
Speaker 7: you made the band. You understand what I'm saying. It's

642
00:33:12,480 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 7: totally different. So we come from different lifestyles, you know.

643
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:20,360
Speaker 5: So I get what you're saying, Mama, Look that was well.

644
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:23,400
Speaker 5: This comes the great line from Christopher Wallace, the great poet.

645
00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:23,640
Speaker 7: Right.

646
00:33:23,880 --> 00:33:26,080
Speaker 5: It's you either selling crack rock or you got a

647
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 5: wicked jump shot sometimes.

648
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 1: And I can tell you that I am a protector.

649
00:33:30,600 --> 00:33:34,120
Speaker 7: I have three children, and I love my kids, and

650
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,240
Speaker 7: I'm still hurt to this day from a lot of things,

651
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 7: still trying to understand because you know your kids, and

652
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 7: I know whatever happened to my son, it happened during

653
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:55,760
Speaker 7: the years of him making that band, and that's where

654
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:58,320
Speaker 7: it all started. And if I could give that all

655
00:33:58,400 --> 00:34:01,440
Speaker 7: back for my son, just to be a I would.

656
00:34:03,680 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 7: No parent, No parents should have to see their child

657
00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:12,400
Speaker 7: go through anything such as what I've seen, rather if

658
00:34:12,400 --> 00:34:17,200
Speaker 7: it's Cassie or anybody else. But I also know that

659
00:34:17,239 --> 00:34:21,000
Speaker 7: they have choices, and I'm not making excuses for my

660
00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:24,960
Speaker 7: son at his age because he was taught right and wrong.

661
00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:28,279
Speaker 7: He knows that if I'm not gonna do this, my

662
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 7: mom said, this is not right. He had a choice.

663
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 7: But when you love someone so hard and you put

664
00:34:36,120 --> 00:34:39,520
Speaker 7: all your trust in them and you think, Okay, I

665
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,960
Speaker 7: love this person so much that they're not gonna hurt

666
00:34:41,960 --> 00:34:45,759
Speaker 7: me and they turn around and they do that, it's

667
00:34:45,800 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 7: not right.

668
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:51,560
Speaker 1: It's not right. Mom.

669
00:34:51,560 --> 00:34:53,600
Speaker 5: Do you deal with and do you have moments along

670
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:53,879
Speaker 5: the way?

671
00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: And I was very impressed that.

672
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:57,759
Speaker 5: I'm sure there are a lot of kids that were

673
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,600
Speaker 5: in Diddy's world who didn't have a mom has involved

674
00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,360
Speaker 5: as you.

675
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:08,400
Speaker 2: When making the band was on they ate me alive

676
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 2: on the internet. But when I say, they ate me alive,

677
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:20,720
Speaker 2: meaning I actually quit my job when Q made the band,

678
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,480
Speaker 2: and because he asked his family to move to Virginia

679
00:35:25,560 --> 00:35:29,360
Speaker 2: because that's what his manager, screw Face, wanted us to do. Oh,

680
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:31,440
Speaker 2: we got a house down here, you can set up

681
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:34,200
Speaker 2: your job down here. I just wanted to be next

682
00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:36,360
Speaker 2: to my son to make sure that he was because

683
00:35:36,360 --> 00:35:38,840
Speaker 2: he was so young. I wanted to make sure that

684
00:35:38,880 --> 00:35:42,280
Speaker 2: he was guided right. And so I did all those things.

685
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,640
Speaker 7: And to move and while they were on the show.

686
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:48,040
Speaker 7: We get pack up this truck or whatever, we're on

687
00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 7: the road and we get.

688
00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 1: A call from screw Face. Oh the house fell through.

689
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,960
Speaker 7: We couldn't we couldn't move in, and so Q at

690
00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:59,160
Speaker 7: the time was taping, and so he gets on there.

691
00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:01,480
Speaker 7: He's like, I'm just worried about my family. My family,

692
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,160
Speaker 7: my family, and people kept they chewed me alive. Why

693
00:36:05,239 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 7: would she quit her job for someone that just made

694
00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:13,919
Speaker 7: the band at age eighteen? And do you know how

695
00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,880
Speaker 7: bad I wanted to go on there and say, you

696
00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:19,120
Speaker 7: don't know what the hell you're talking about, and you

697
00:36:19,239 --> 00:36:21,799
Speaker 7: don't either, You says mam, Well, you can't do that.

698
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:29,400
Speaker 7: You see Beyonce's mom do that, you know, and I

699
00:36:29,400 --> 00:36:32,480
Speaker 7: don't like it. So that's why you hardly ever hear

700
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:37,320
Speaker 7: of Qu's mom ever saying anything online when all these things,

701
00:36:37,360 --> 00:36:39,959
Speaker 7: you know, just him being on you know, different.

702
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:43,040
Speaker 1: Podcasts and stuff like that.

703
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:45,200
Speaker 7: Today it was the day that I felt that somebody

704
00:36:45,239 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 7: needed to hear my voice how I feel about everything.

705
00:36:51,480 --> 00:36:54,480
Speaker 7: I can't blame Diddy, but I know he's not innocent.

706
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:57,120
Speaker 1: I can only blame.

707
00:36:56,840 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 7: The people that were around me. And because my son

708
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 7: puts so much into who he loved. That I can

709
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,200
Speaker 7: only blame her because she was what eight years older

710
00:37:08,239 --> 00:37:10,200
Speaker 7: than Cute. She had a lot of influence on him,

711
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,920
Speaker 7: and all he knew was that that was my girl.

712
00:37:13,000 --> 00:37:13,239
Speaker 1: Mom.

713
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:15,080
Speaker 7: You couldn't you can't tell me nothing about her.

714
00:37:15,640 --> 00:37:18,279
Speaker 1: My mom couldn't tell me nothing. I mean, you know, yeah, I.

715
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:23,479
Speaker 7: Kept telling him all along. I kept telling him, Cute,

716
00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 7: this don't sound right.

717
00:37:24,880 --> 00:37:26,719
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't trust her.

718
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 7: Then.

719
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:32,960
Speaker 3: This it's just some mom's worst nightmare.

720
00:37:34,320 --> 00:37:36,920
Speaker 1: And if I could give it all back, I would.

721
00:37:37,040 --> 00:37:39,360
Speaker 7: I wouldn't just wanted my son to stay in college

722
00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:42,040
Speaker 7: and just do the right thing.

723
00:37:42,640 --> 00:37:44,160
Speaker 1: I didn't, And I.

724
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,160
Speaker 7: Keep saying that days and nice. I look at all

725
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:50,240
Speaker 7: his accomplishments. When my son would walk down the street,

726
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:53,799
Speaker 7: and I would just go on Facebook or anything like that,

727
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:55,799
Speaker 7: and people say, did you see that boy Q from

728
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 7: day twenty six looking crazy.

729
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 1: Walking around Rochester, New York with a screwdriver, thinking that

730
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,400
Speaker 1: Diddy was coming to kill me? So I was just

731
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:07,400
Speaker 1: obmarrying myself, just a mass mentally. This is a mental

732
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:09,040
Speaker 1: health problem though, going to you.

733
00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,319
Speaker 4: Know, people knew who he was.

734
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:15,280
Speaker 7: I'm admitting it's just you never do anything.

735
00:38:16,120 --> 00:38:17,880
Speaker 1: You do Yeah.

736
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,840
Speaker 4: You're paranoid, is somebody if you have If you have

737
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 4: that in you, you're gonna be paranoid.

738
00:38:21,800 --> 00:38:24,520
Speaker 1: I was talking around with a screwdriver, like stabbing up trees.

739
00:38:25,400 --> 00:38:27,879
Speaker 1: I was thinking I was seeing Diddy and I would

740
00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:29,360
Speaker 1: grow up to the tree and just start doing I

741
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,560
Speaker 1: know taekwondo a little bit, so I would do I

742
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:33,160
Speaker 1: would do my little punch thing on a tree with

743
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 1: the screwdriver. You're not gonna hurt me, saying to myself.

744
00:38:37,080 --> 00:38:40,160
Speaker 7: When I literally tell you the trauma, when I literally

745
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 7: tell you, we didn't understand anything. And I was embarrassed.

746
00:38:43,200 --> 00:38:44,520
Speaker 7: Then I had to think about it and said, this

747
00:38:44,560 --> 00:38:46,640
Speaker 7: is my son. People will call me, did you see

748
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:49,280
Speaker 7: Q walking up the street or he's at the park

749
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:53,000
Speaker 7: sitting in a tree or something just out of his mind?

750
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,560
Speaker 7: Or you guys can't even imagine what I went through

751
00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:57,200
Speaker 7: as a mom.

752
00:38:57,800 --> 00:38:59,000
Speaker 1: And all I used to do was get on my

753
00:38:59,080 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 1: knees and pray.

754
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:05,200
Speaker 7: I would look it's accomplishment, accomplishments, BT awards, all those

755
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,560
Speaker 7: plaques and key to the city, and I said, Lord,

756
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:12,640
Speaker 7: what has happened to my child? What is going on?

757
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,920
Speaker 7: I didn't have any answers. I didn't have anybody to

758
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 7: turn to because we weren't really getting exact answers from Q.

759
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: Because the pill that he had given me had broken

760
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:30,520
Speaker 1: me down to where he and he's just getting all

761
00:39:30,560 --> 00:39:33,000
Speaker 1: the way back to the beginning to where I was,

762
00:39:33,080 --> 00:39:35,000
Speaker 1: Like drawings script, I.

763
00:39:36,800 --> 00:39:40,600
Speaker 6: Mind, I mean, it's it's it's it's devastating to the

764
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:43,560
Speaker 6: point where I believe TG and I are almost speechless

765
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,360
Speaker 6: at this point because it's hard to even get your

766
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:47,879
Speaker 6: head around what that must be like, what that must

767
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 6: be like for.

768
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:53,680
Speaker 3: You, Mama, And I'm curious. Cue you said you're getting back.

769
00:39:53,719 --> 00:39:56,960
Speaker 3: How are you now? How are you today? How long

770
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,439
Speaker 3: has this road been for you to get where you are?

771
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:04,000
Speaker 1: I am just healing. I've got better around twenty twenty

772
00:40:04,560 --> 00:40:04,879
Speaker 1: and there

773
00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,560
Speaker 3: Is so much more to unpack here, So stick around

774
00:40:07,640 --> 00:40:10,400
Speaker 3: because we will be back with Aubrey Q and his

775
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 3: mom Nicole