Speaker 1: Episode eighty nine, letting go of material possessions to save
Speaker 1: money with Desiree Andries. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast,
Speaker 1: where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, rights, and
Speaker 1: liver at your life. Here your host Jen and Jill.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen,
Speaker 1: I'm Jill, and we are excited to be with you
Speaker 1: in this new year. Happy New Year, Happy new Year.
Speaker 1: It's only good. It's only up from here, they say,
Speaker 1: hindsight is so this year you are going to have
Speaker 1: great perspective. Look at you. You should be in a cookie,
Speaker 1: a little fortune teller you. I wish I was in
Speaker 1: a cookie. I wish I was eating a cookie for sure.
Speaker 1: I am really excited to kick off this year with
Speaker 1: another minimalism episode because there's nothing I like more than
Speaker 1: after the rampant consumerism of the holiday season, to get
Speaker 1: rid of everything that I have accumulated over the past year.
Speaker 1: And uh and we're just the last month. Let's be honest, yes, yes, um,
Speaker 1: And so we've got one of our favorite UM podcast friends, Desiree,
Speaker 1: here to talk about that with us. Um And if
Speaker 1: you are interested in more minimalism, episodes. We've got episode
Speaker 1: twenty where we introduce how important minimalism is too sustainable
Speaker 1: frugality and why we talk about it so much. Episode
Speaker 1: thirty two we talked with Joshua Becker about his journey
Speaker 1: to minimalism, and then episode fifty nine we talked with
Speaker 1: Courtney Carver about minimalist word drobe or capsule wardrobe. So
Speaker 1: those are are some of our minimalism episodes, and so
Speaker 1: today we are talking about combating the desire for those
Speaker 1: material possessions, and then we'll get into that interview with her,
Speaker 1: but first a word from our sponsors. Today's episodes also
Speaker 1: brought to you by Internet advertisements. Ever talk about something
Speaker 1: next to a computer or phone and shortly after see
Speaker 1: an ad for it on Facebook is creepy, and it
Speaker 1: also causes you to buy things you otherwise would not have.
Speaker 1: The solution is to stop talking about things, make an
Speaker 1: aluminum hat, and stay off the computer forever. Internet advertisements,
Speaker 1: avoid them, and listen to podcast advertisements instead. Oh my goodness, Yes,
Speaker 1: this is the creepiest. This is too real because I
Speaker 1: can kind of understand if I'm searching something in Google, Yeah,
Speaker 1: they're constantly tracking me, but just my conversation, and so
Speaker 1: I've started to say weird stuff, you know, just to
Speaker 1: try it out, like how do I buy um whale
Speaker 1: milk online? Just to see So far nothing, but I'm
Speaker 1: going to keep trying. I'll let you know if after
Speaker 1: this podcast there's like an online link to buying milk
Speaker 1: from whales. Oh god, I hope that. And if you
Speaker 1: are struggling with the internet advertisement thing like we are,
Speaker 1: um not necessarily your struggled to avoid whale milk. Um,
Speaker 1: this is a great episode if you are struggling with that,
Speaker 1: if you are embarking on a no spend challenge for
Speaker 1: this month, or if you're enrolling in my five Weeks
Speaker 1: to five course that closes today, and we will talk
Speaker 1: about that more at the end of the episode. But
Speaker 1: right now we've got Desiree here. She is the host
Speaker 1: of the minimal Ish podcast. She writes over at Desiree
Speaker 1: Andrewes dot com, and she is the author of the
Speaker 1: new journal Simple Morning Lists. You're definitely gonna want to
Speaker 1: buy it after you hear this episode, so let's get
Speaker 1: into it. Hello, Desert, I welcome. Hi. I'm so happy
Speaker 1: to be here, Desert. I so glad to have you
Speaker 1: talk about all things minimalism. Your website, by the way,
Speaker 1: I have to get this out there, is beautiful. It's
Speaker 1: so inviting and and attainable. It felt really like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I know that we're talking about minimalism, but almost anybody
Speaker 1: could go on and connect with you in some way.
Speaker 1: That's my opinion. But I loved it, loved exploring it. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I was literally about to change
Speaker 1: my entire website this morning. So I'm glad you said
Speaker 1: that sometimes everything everything is good. I think it's Yeah.
Speaker 1: Accessible is the perfect word. So and your podcast minimal ish,
Speaker 1: I would say the same thing about. Um. So I'm
Speaker 1: so so excited that we finally have you on our show,
Speaker 1: because all we're about is making things that don't feel
Speaker 1: so accessible a little more accessible to people. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: I think you guys do a great job. And Jen,
Speaker 1: you were on my show just you know, a few weeks.
Speaker 1: I don't when this goes out, it will be a
Speaker 1: few months ago. But um, in November of two thousand nineteen,
Speaker 1: you were on my show and I literally went and
Speaker 1: got your No Spend Challenge book and we're doing a
Speaker 1: new No Spend Challenge. Gosh and it seriously helped us
Speaker 1: finally get a little bit more um, i'd say get
Speaker 1: our feet in a more stable place in our debt
Speaker 1: free journey um that we went on. So yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: the point for no spend challenges is to figure out,
Speaker 1: like to make more room, to figure out what you
Speaker 1: truly value, and to like get rid of all the
Speaker 1: clutter in your spending, which is so much of what
Speaker 1: you talk about with getting rid of the clutter in
Speaker 1: your schedule and in your home. And it just to
Speaker 1: make more margin two for the things that really matter.
Speaker 1: And so it's kind of the same concept like only
Speaker 1: with your finances. So I'm so excited, which is why
Speaker 1: we're looking forward to talking with you there. We've seen
Speaker 1: so many parallels and crossovers between minimalism and frugality. Certainly
Speaker 1: they can go off on their own tangents and then
Speaker 1: of themselves, but we're curious to hear your perspective on
Speaker 1: this topic of minimalism and how you discovered it, how
Speaker 1: it's impacted your life. What are your thoughts on that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for me, it was around or a little less than
Speaker 1: two years ago. Um, my husband and I actually just
Speaker 1: stumbled upon the minimalism documentary, which I think is still
Speaker 1: on Netflix and it's worth the watch, and it convinced
Speaker 1: us right away. He actually texted me the other day
Speaker 1: and said, I think we should watch that again just
Speaker 1: because it's so good and it really brings out the
Speaker 1: principles of minimalism and it gives different perspectives which I
Speaker 1: really appreciate. And I think that what it comes down
Speaker 1: to for me and why it's been such a huge
Speaker 1: thing in our life, is because I lived with clutter
Speaker 1: all of my life and I just thought that was
Speaker 1: fine because it's just what I was doing for so long,
Speaker 1: and I'm a messy person. I'm not a superorganized person.
Speaker 1: I always say minimalism just because you dive into minimalism,
Speaker 1: it's not going to necessarily make you organized, but it
Speaker 1: can help you if you're not organized, because you don't
Speaker 1: sure left floating around. So we we somewhat upon that
Speaker 1: documentary and it just kind of change. It was one
Speaker 1: of those things where you can see there's really before
Speaker 1: and after of that day, that normal random week day
Speaker 1: when we both ended up watching that together and we
Speaker 1: really declared in our whole home in probably ten days.
Speaker 1: I mean, it wasn't perfect, All all ends tied up,
Speaker 1: but it was very quick and we had time off
Speaker 1: of work. We were both teachers, so we had time
Speaker 1: off of work. So it worked out. But um, we
Speaker 1: did that, and then at that point we really were
Speaker 1: able to reevaluate our life basically. And that sounds so drastic,
Speaker 1: but it's true that minimalism helped us really reevaluate our
Speaker 1: values in our life because for years we were at
Speaker 1: the time living about four hours from our family. We
Speaker 1: had basically every summer as teachers said, we are going
Speaker 1: to try to get jobs back home. We're going to
Speaker 1: try to get jobs back home. We're just in Virginia
Speaker 1: to get teaching experience. And we basically just said, which
Speaker 1: is probably looking back, maybe it's not the best financial
Speaker 1: decision that we made, but we said, we're going this
Speaker 1: is important to us, this is a priority in our life.
Speaker 1: We had a baby at the time. We want to
Speaker 1: be back in your family, and we're just going to
Speaker 1: do it because when it comes down to it, something's
Speaker 1: going to come through, something's going to work out. We'll
Speaker 1: make it work, we'll get jobs. It might not be perfect,
Speaker 1: it ended up all working out, and we continue to
Speaker 1: declutter as we moved, and it's just kind of like
Speaker 1: a long road. I wouldn't say I defined myself as
Speaker 1: a minimalist because for me, it's not necessarily a definition.
Speaker 1: It's not necessarily a way to measure myself against something.
Speaker 1: It's more of a tool to just make space in
Speaker 1: my everyday life, so um for for the things that
Speaker 1: matter most to me. And that's really what it's been about.
Speaker 1: I didn't come to that right away. At first. That
Speaker 1: was about like how many spoons should I have? But
Speaker 1: it eventually became Okay, it's more meaningful than this, It's
Speaker 1: deeper than this. Isn't that so interesting? It's a phenomenon
Speaker 1: that you're talking about that oh many also describe as
Speaker 1: they get on a certain journey like minimalism or frugality,
Speaker 1: that it does stir up other questions. And really, I
Speaker 1: think that's because we're pressing the pause button in some way,
Speaker 1: shape or form to say, do I really need this?
Speaker 1: Why do I even have this? Is it benefiting me
Speaker 1: in any way? What's it's? What's the purpose or function
Speaker 1: that it's serving, which can then stir up other things
Speaker 1: of what else should I be asking these questions about?
Speaker 1: If I'm asking it about you know, how many spoons
Speaker 1: I have in my drawers? Should I be asking it
Speaker 1: about where I'm living or how I'm also spending my
Speaker 1: time in my resources and all these things that it's
Speaker 1: not unusual for it to lead down this this bigger
Speaker 1: journey of discovery and living a more purposeful life. So
Speaker 1: to hear that level of impact is amazing. Yeah, it
Speaker 1: really was. It's been a huge thing, and I mean
Speaker 1: now it's kind of given me my current job, so
Speaker 1: it's good. Which is I talk about minimalism? So yeah,
Speaker 1: so you started from this place of this is just
Speaker 1: the nolts, nuts and bolts of minimalism, like how many
Speaker 1: spoons should I have? How many chairs? So how was
Speaker 1: that journey going from that black and white minimalism mindset
Speaker 1: to where you are now with having a more flexible definition,
Speaker 1: And how can other people try and follow that journey?
Speaker 1: I think I don't want to paint it wrong to
Speaker 1: have that black and white view of minimalism, because I
Speaker 1: think for some people that's just how their mind works,
Speaker 1: and for me it's basically the opposite. That's just not
Speaker 1: how I work. And it didn't it wasn't working for me,
Speaker 1: So I was at this point where I had already
Speaker 1: started a podcast on minimalism. It was a little bit different,
Speaker 1: but you can listen all those old episodes still exist.
Speaker 1: And I started to have that imposter syndrome feeling of oh,
Speaker 1: I might not have the perfectly uncluttered home, like there
Speaker 1: are still probably a couple of things around here I
Speaker 1: don't need, but they just live here. And also a
Speaker 1: child lives here, and there are messes. And I started
Speaker 1: to feel like I'm talking about this thing, but am
Speaker 1: I Am I doing it good enough basically, and that
Speaker 1: really freaked me out and stressed me out and made
Speaker 1: me feel like I wasn't doing it good enough. So
Speaker 1: I was at this point where I was like, this
Speaker 1: is actually this doesn't matter. I basically convinced myself it
Speaker 1: doesn't matter. And yes, the decluttering was good, it was helpful,
Speaker 1: but this isn't something I want to talk about forever
Speaker 1: because it just seems surface level. And I know that's
Speaker 1: not really true about decluttering. There are obviously really deep
Speaker 1: things that it brings out, but at that point I
Speaker 1: was like, I'm not doing this good enough, so this
Speaker 1: just all seems surface level. I quit, and then I
Speaker 1: realized that there was something more to it, like there
Speaker 1: were other changes that I had gone undergone through letting
Speaker 1: go of stuff. There was just kind of like a
Speaker 1: deeper spiritual thing going on, and also mindset shifts that
Speaker 1: I didn't even really have to work at at first.
Speaker 1: It just was happening. As I was letting go of things.
Speaker 1: I had to question, what is the purpose of having
Speaker 1: this stuff? And how do I stop purchasing things I
Speaker 1: don't need and bring them into my home, and what
Speaker 1: is it that's going to help me shift my habits?
Speaker 1: So it kind of happened naturally, and then I realized, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I went under all these mindset shifts, and it isn't
Speaker 1: really about if my house is perfectly tidy all the time.
Speaker 1: That's not realistic, but it is about the fact that
Speaker 1: my life has changed because of this. I've realized that
Speaker 1: I have control over things I didn't think I have
Speaker 1: control over. I am more grateful than I used to be,
Speaker 1: I am more content than I used to be. So
Speaker 1: I realized all of that just kind of by reflecting,
Speaker 1: and that was kind of that was just the start,
Speaker 1: and then I started really digging into that. And the
Speaker 1: way that I process things is through writing and now,
Speaker 1: I guess talking it out too with a microphone. So
Speaker 1: I did that and that's where I developed all of
Speaker 1: these heart of minimalism mindset shifts that I've started to
Speaker 1: talk about on my podcasts. And that's really where the
Speaker 1: name minimali Ish came into play too, because I realized
Speaker 1: it isn't on social media, and I think that's I
Speaker 1: should have said that. I think that's where it stemmed
Speaker 1: from is I was on social media and I had
Speaker 1: people following me because of my podcasts that were other
Speaker 1: minimalist accounts, and I was like, whoa, they have a
Speaker 1: prettier house than me, or they have less stuff than me,
Speaker 1: or they are talking about how many you know, they're
Speaker 1: perfect capsule wardrobe, and so it was comparison, and I
Speaker 1: just I didn't want it to be about that. And
Speaker 1: now that this, you know, minimalism isn't a new thing,
Speaker 1: but now that it's gained so much attraction and there's
Speaker 1: so many people that are finding it helpful, I think
Speaker 1: this message is needed that it's not something to measure
Speaker 1: up to. It's not another way to chase perfectionism. It's
Speaker 1: just a tool to help you clear out destructions and
Speaker 1: make room for what matters in your life. And I
Speaker 1: think we could replace the word minimalism with frugality, like
Speaker 1: in our space, because oftentimes it's also a race to
Speaker 1: the bottom, like how little can I spend? How much
Speaker 1: money can I put towards debt or towards retirement, And
Speaker 1: you can feel like if you're not at a seventy
Speaker 1: percent savings rate, or if you're not like getting all
Speaker 1: of your stuff from the thrift store, that you're just
Speaker 1: not you don't qualify as frugal. And so I love
Speaker 1: your story and your view on minimalism in that sense
Speaker 1: is it's minimal ish and we feel like we're frugal.
Speaker 1: I love that title so much, Yeah, because it encapsulates
Speaker 1: so much of what you're saying that I'm a little
Speaker 1: bit this, but there's wiggle room and there's freedom with it,
Speaker 1: and it's okay to have different working definitions of it
Speaker 1: depending on your lifestyle. I love what you said Jen,
Speaker 1: the race to the bottom, because there's always gonna be
Speaker 1: somebody doing it quote unquote better than you, depending on
Speaker 1: whatever you have idolized in your head of Okay, you
Speaker 1: may have a one bedroom home, but there's somebody living
Speaker 1: in a backpack and you may be living in a backpack,
Speaker 1: but there's someone living out of reusable plastic bag and
Speaker 1: you don't have that. But then there's somebody who like
Speaker 1: has figured out how to stuff all their trash for
Speaker 1: a year into like a little baby food jar. Like
Speaker 1: there's always gonna be somebody doing it better. But it's like,
Speaker 1: but what works for you? Because fitting all of your
Speaker 1: trash into a baby food jar, it might not work
Speaker 1: for you if you've got five kids, right, and think
Speaker 1: it's so important that there are people doing that, But
Speaker 1: then there are people that are pursuing it in a
Speaker 1: totally different way that's important to them, because when it
Speaker 1: comes down to it, the world needs that message in
Speaker 1: different ways from different people. And I think we get
Speaker 1: caught up because we can see what everyone else is
Speaker 1: doing via lovely Instagram and social media, which has its
Speaker 1: upsides and downsides. We put this pressure on ourselves like
Speaker 1: I need to be doing it exactly that way, and
Speaker 1: then you see someone else, No, I need to be
Speaker 1: doing it exactly that way, and I need you put
Speaker 1: all of these images and you think that it's one
Speaker 1: person and you're like, Okay, there's this perfect person that's
Speaker 1: doing all of these things. Meanwhile, that was just like
Speaker 1: a collection from a bunch of different people, and you've
Speaker 1: made it into one perfect person that doesn't actually exist.
Speaker 1: So you're measuring yourself against something that is never going
Speaker 1: to be attainable for anyone, not just you, but for anyone.
Speaker 1: Extreme stories sell and they're really sexy, but we need
Speaker 1: more stories of normal people doing normal things, making small,
Speaker 1: sustainable changes, and those aren't super sexy, so you don't
Speaker 1: hear them a lot. Uh, So you don't have any
Speaker 1: like examples of that to like live up to. But
Speaker 1: here we are right here. But that's such a good
Speaker 1: word and a good reminder that we are the ones
Speaker 1: who create this idealized person that really doesn't exist, and
Speaker 1: it's pretty unattainable. If you're going to try and be
Speaker 1: that person who's the combination of all these perfect things
Speaker 1: that you're perceiving, it's not gonna work. It really is
Speaker 1: figuring out what helps you to experience life and joy
Speaker 1: and be able to get at the goals that you have,
Speaker 1: not what somebody else has. And these are tools in
Speaker 1: that journey. Living frugally, living minimally. They are tools that
Speaker 1: you can fine tune for your own purposes, which speaking
Speaker 1: of for you desert as you were in this process,
Speaker 1: and so to to speak of it at like a tool, right,
Speaker 1: And we know that there's so many other things that
Speaker 1: came along with this in your journey. But if we
Speaker 1: were to look at this as Okay, here's some steps
Speaker 1: you can take, and what did this look like for
Speaker 1: you as you re evaluated your relationship with material things?
Speaker 1: How how did you do that and what kind of
Speaker 1: financial impact did you see with it? Yeah? I think
Speaker 1: for me, when I talk about it, it has to
Speaker 1: start with letting go of stuff. I mean, it doesn't
Speaker 1: have to, but that's just how it worked for me.
Speaker 1: So that's usually how I suggest starting, because oftentimes we
Speaker 1: just have so much stuff around us that we don't
Speaker 1: even know what we have, like we've cluttered up so much.
Speaker 1: And then when we look at that stuff and we
Speaker 1: start to shift our mindset and we say, Okay, this
Speaker 1: item that I've kept around even though I don't use it,
Speaker 1: you have to start to question why did I do that,
Speaker 1: or why did I buy this? Think of a clothing item.
Speaker 1: I feel like I often suggest not necessarily starting The
Speaker 1: very first thing you declutter is your closet, but to
Speaker 1: put that up there in the process, pretty high on
Speaker 1: the started starter list, just because I feel like a
Speaker 1: lot of us have emotions attached to our closet, whether
Speaker 1: it's because and that's not true for everyone, but I
Speaker 1: know for me, a lot of it was came down
Speaker 1: to kind of like a body image thing. And so
Speaker 1: I'm on so many clothes all of my life. Like
Speaker 1: when I was younger and I babysat, I would spend
Speaker 1: all of my money and I made I made a
Speaker 1: lot of money babysitting. I did it every day after school.
Speaker 1: I would take I would get it in chunks and
Speaker 1: I would take it, and I would spend all of
Speaker 1: my money on clothes. And I just had piles, literally
Speaker 1: piles of clothes, and they were in piles because I
Speaker 1: didn't know how to put them away, which I still
Speaker 1: don't necessarily know how to do that all the time,
Speaker 1: so my pile is much smaller. But um, basically it
Speaker 1: takes looking at these items and starting to question and
Speaker 1: really evaluating why is this hard for me to let
Speaker 1: go of and why did I bring this into my
Speaker 1: home in the first place, and starting to dig a
Speaker 1: little bit deeper, because once you have those answers, then
Speaker 1: you can take that and you can kind of use
Speaker 1: it as a tool to shift the way that you
Speaker 1: spend and shift the way that you consume and bring
Speaker 1: more in if you go about decluttering your whole house,
Speaker 1: that helps too, because it's so much work, and I
Speaker 1: think a lot of times we end up getting so
Speaker 1: frustrated with ourselves in the process, which I would say, obviously,
Speaker 1: like feel those feelings and then channel it elsewhere, because
Speaker 1: we don't want to end up giving up because we're
Speaker 1: so angry at ourselves for piling so much stuff over
Speaker 1: the years. Um depending, I mean that might not be
Speaker 1: everyone's case, but at that point we realize how ridiculous
Speaker 1: it is that that we've just believed these lies, that
Speaker 1: we that more stuff will make us happier, or that
Speaker 1: more stuff is what we need to have to have
Speaker 1: a welcoming home, or more stuff is going to make
Speaker 1: us look shinier to our friends. So I feel like,
Speaker 1: whenever you get to that point where you're looking around,
Speaker 1: like I have to declutter this room and it's going
Speaker 1: to take literally days because they're just there's boxes of
Speaker 1: stuff I've never dug into for years, that's when you
Speaker 1: can take that feeling and kind of say, Okay, now
Speaker 1: I'm going to practice not letting this happen again, and
Speaker 1: tangibly I think, you know, after the decluttering. So decluttering
Speaker 1: is the first step or amidst it, because for us
Speaker 1: it took ten days, but for a lot of people,
Speaker 1: for most normal situations where nobody has a whole week
Speaker 1: off of work with their husband and is tackling it together,
Speaker 1: it can take months. So in that process, while you're
Speaker 1: continually letting go, that's when the mindset shifts can happen.
Speaker 1: When you go to the store and go shopping, and
Speaker 1: when you decide to like you have to go to
Speaker 1: Target and buy your household things. And at that point
Speaker 1: you have to just I don't know, you have to
Speaker 1: do what works for you. But in my case, I
Speaker 1: have to bring a list. That definitely helps me to
Speaker 1: stick to a list. Um and I think just little
Speaker 1: things like planning. Really it comes down to planning it
Speaker 1: first and then digging into those mindset shifts taking a list.
Speaker 1: And for us, a huge thing has been figuring out
Speaker 1: how to budget, and that stemmed from minimalism. We probably
Speaker 1: I don't know, I wouldn't say we would have never
Speaker 1: dug into a debt free journey if we hadn't discovered
Speaker 1: minimalism first. But it's stemmed from it. And I know
Speaker 1: that's probably old news seal listeners, of that's just kind
Speaker 1: of a tangible step that we had to take. Is actually,
Speaker 1: and I want to say that, like that was hard
Speaker 1: for us, and it's still hard for us, but to
Speaker 1: find something that is going to give us a visual
Speaker 1: of where's our money going and also at the same
Speaker 1: time be doing these intentional mindset shifts of I don't
Speaker 1: want to clear my house up with stuff anymore. Absolutely,
Speaker 1: and you're not alone in that. We all have to
Speaker 1: come back to the budget, and I mean, it's we
Speaker 1: could probably do an episode every single week just about
Speaker 1: the budget. It is one of the foundational pieces that
Speaker 1: we're never getting perfect because it shifts all the time,
Speaker 1: whether income shifts or spending shifts or value shift, whatever
Speaker 1: it is. We're it's an evolving thing. So you answered
Speaker 1: part of what I was gonna ask you midway through that.
Speaker 1: But so for the girl who's in Target and trying
Speaker 1: to not bring in more stuff into her home, and
Speaker 1: when I say that, I mean me, um, what what
Speaker 1: is your mindset now, So like you your your strategy
Speaker 1: as you go in with a list, you go in
Speaker 1: with a plan, but like, what's your mindset when you're
Speaker 1: like looking at the stuff? How do you stick to
Speaker 1: that plan and list? I think the biggest thing that
Speaker 1: helps me is I tell myself, if I don't have
Speaker 1: a plan for this item, then I'm not allowed to
Speaker 1: buy it right now, if that makes sense, especially when
Speaker 1: it comes to home to core. I think of that
Speaker 1: because for some reason, that seems to get me the
Speaker 1: most at Target, or it used to get me the
Speaker 1: most at Target with that dollar spot and there's a
Speaker 1: three dollar in hants out and it's just so cute.
Speaker 1: But if I don't have a plan for I wanted
Speaker 1: to add that to my home or like I'm going
Speaker 1: if I am going to Target and I happen to remember,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, we kind of all our hand towels are
Speaker 1: stained because I'm not the best at laundry, and I
Speaker 1: could add an extra one, then fine, But most of
Speaker 1: the time when I go that's not the case. Like
Speaker 1: I'll start to justify it in my head, but it's
Speaker 1: not a real plan. So that helps. If I don't
Speaker 1: have a plan for it, it it can't come at my home.
Speaker 1: That definitely helps when it comes to home to core,
Speaker 1: because I just a lot of times I used to
Speaker 1: buy things that I didn't have space for and I
Speaker 1: was just like, this is so cute, and then I
Speaker 1: come home and it's on this weird shelf and it
Speaker 1: looks really terrible because I never had a plan for it.
Speaker 1: And then another mindset shift is to just I mean,
Speaker 1: as cheesy as it is. Two if you are starting
Speaker 1: your day, so this is like before the trip to
Speaker 1: target with gratitude and like a literal gratitude practice and
Speaker 1: us reflecting on what actually matters to you. I think
Speaker 1: that is what helps me the most because when it
Speaker 1: comes down to I also take a toddler to target
Speaker 1: with me, so I can't be there long. So that
Speaker 1: doesn't matter either. It will make you so stressed out
Speaker 1: you'll put everything in your cart and you'll be like
Speaker 1: this was a reposition, or or you'll just leave. And
Speaker 1: I mean I will also sometimes I put things in
Speaker 1: my cart and by the end of the trip it's
Speaker 1: out of my cart. It's just get this, Like I
Speaker 1: can just skate by it all and say, oh, that's
Speaker 1: super cute, but I'm not going to touch it because
Speaker 1: I'm this perfect minimalist and have everything together, I might
Speaker 1: put it into my cart, but by the end I
Speaker 1: look at my cart and I think, how much is
Speaker 1: this actually going to add up to? Because target, you know,
Speaker 1: and then it ends up being cut over fifty dollars
Speaker 1: if you have three years. Yeah. Uh, It's like, how
Speaker 1: in the world all these little two dollar charges being
Speaker 1: three hundred thousand dollars so amazing math I think it's
Speaker 1: a lot of Target. I think if you that simple
Speaker 1: practice of looking at the cart when you are about
Speaker 1: to check out. I just did this the other day
Speaker 1: because I have a toddler and I was trying to
Speaker 1: get her a new cup. Not a good idea to
Speaker 1: take her to do that because she had some opinions,
Speaker 1: and as we were going through the store I had
Speaker 1: picked up there was another cup in a different area
Speaker 1: because it was frozen and it was on display. So
Speaker 1: I just had to re evaluate. Instead of being like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna get this all because you know we'll
Speaker 1: use three cups, it's fine. No, I'm going to reevaluate
Speaker 1: because one, it's going to add up to a thousand
Speaker 1: dollars for three cups and two. We don't need all
Speaker 1: of that, so just that ending that last minute check
Speaker 1: at the end. Also, and they're simple thing is I
Speaker 1: have to stay out of sections that are gonna get me,
Speaker 1: like the clothes. I just can't. I bypass them. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have to bypass that. So bypassing sections and those
Speaker 1: are just little things that help. But I think most
Speaker 1: of all the plan um, the list and then telling
Speaker 1: yourself if I don't have a plan for this, it's
Speaker 1: not allowed to come into my house. If you want
Speaker 1: to lead and come back to it later and say,
Speaker 1: go to go back to your house, think about it,
Speaker 1: even if it's not home to core, if it's even
Speaker 1: a kid's toy item or a clothing item, reevaluate once
Speaker 1: you get home and you know you have permission to
Speaker 1: go back and get it if you're still thinking about it,
Speaker 1: and if it seems like a good idea at that point.
Speaker 1: An online shopping has made that easy too. Is that Okay,
Speaker 1: if I really want this and need this and can
Speaker 1: find a plan for it, I can just buy it online.
Speaker 1: I don't have to buy it immediately right now. Yeah, exactly, Yeah,
Speaker 1: or try to do that as much as possible so
Speaker 1: that you're not walking through and having those imp line
Speaker 1: grocery pickup has changed my life for a lot of reasons.
Speaker 1: But for a lot of reasons. But my pantry is
Speaker 1: now more organized, it's more minimal. I am using what
Speaker 1: I have and I'm not seeing this cool spice packet
Speaker 1: in the aisle and then just like impulse buying it,
Speaker 1: which I mean, yeah, I still find myself doing. Even
Speaker 1: after talking about meal planning and reducing waste for years,
Speaker 1: I still find myself, you know, buying the cool artisanal
Speaker 1: rice bag. Speaking of life changing. Oh and something we've
Speaker 1: been talking about for years, well like one year, one year.
Speaker 1: It's the week, that's right, it's toime for the best
Speaker 1: minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born
Speaker 1: and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage.
Speaker 1: Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have
Speaker 1: to pay that bill anymore. That built Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton,
Speaker 1: this is the build of the week. Every week, des
Speaker 1: are a, we have a listener or our guest of
Speaker 1: the week share with us their favorite bill. And I've
Speaker 1: prepped you for this and are you ready do you
Speaker 1: have one for us? I am ready tell us share.
Speaker 1: I feel like this might be really boring, but my
Speaker 1: gas bill is really low because it was the weather
Speaker 1: was temperate, and that made me happy. The weather was
Speaker 1: pretty good the past last month, and my gas bill
Speaker 1: was so low, so that was beautiful. And we're on
Speaker 1: budget payments and anyways, because I don't know if in Florida,
Speaker 1: you probably don't even have a gas bill, do you
Speaker 1: like or it's like tender? We do? We do, yes,
Speaker 1: we do. Remember in Virginia it was nothing every month,
Speaker 1: but here our furnace runs on gas, and so for
Speaker 1: a while it was like, oh, one month that would
Speaker 1: be almost three hundred dollars and then in the summer
Speaker 1: it would be you know, tend dollar and that's extreme differences.
Speaker 1: But so we went on the budget spending. But still
Speaker 1: it was nice to see that my balance, even though
Speaker 1: I actually paid more for it, because of the budget
Speaker 1: spending on the gas bill, my balance was lower than
Speaker 1: what I actually paid. Like this is going towards that
Speaker 1: three bill in the middle of winter. I'm so glad
Speaker 1: for your warm weather out in Pittsburgh lowering your bill.
Speaker 1: It has not been the case for us. It's been
Speaker 1: like unusual frigid temps. We had to get away we
Speaker 1: had to book it out of town. We're like, get
Speaker 1: to go to tropical Ohio. You later, No, we went
Speaker 1: to Europe. I know about it. It's funny because I
Speaker 1: mean saying it now. Right now, it's sixty degrees, so
Speaker 1: that's great. Tomorrow it will be thirty. So that's ye. Pennsylvania.
Speaker 1: Necessarily that it was the last couple of weeks. It
Speaker 1: was more like October wasn't bad and maybe we didn't
Speaker 1: crank that air. He did as much as usual. So
Speaker 1: put on more clothes kids. This low gas bill, Yeah,
Speaker 1: if your gas bill was low, or you want to
Speaker 1: share how high your gas bill was because you turn
Speaker 1: on the heat when it gets cold, unlike my husband.
Speaker 1: You can submit your bill of the week at Frugal
Speaker 1: Friends podcast dot com, slash bill and leave us a
Speaker 1: Google voicemail or a speak pipe message. We love to
Speaker 1: hear it. And now it's time for blightning. It's weirder.
Speaker 1: I actually like I cupped my mouth around the microphone.
Speaker 1: I've never done that before. We'll see what that does
Speaker 1: to the audio. Eric's gonna love it. Eric's gonna love it.
Speaker 1: My husband Eric edits the podcast so he gets to
Speaker 1: listen to this voice all the time. So lucky. Oh,
Speaker 1: he loves it so much. So today's lightning round we
Speaker 1: are talking about mornings, because mornings are something you talk
Speaker 1: a lot about, Desiree, and they have been transformational in
Speaker 1: your life, um and even with your journey too in minimalism,
Speaker 1: and I think it can be really transformational with anybody's
Speaker 1: journey who's trying to be more intentional about their spending too. Yes,
Speaker 1: So speaking of that, you talk about morning, simple morning
Speaker 1: lists and waking up earlier than your family. Why did
Speaker 1: you start doing this waking up earlier than everybody else?
Speaker 1: I think I wanted to be a morning person for
Speaker 1: a really long time, and I at some point I
Speaker 1: accepted that I wasn't and and I just decided to say, Okay,
Speaker 1: it's not gonna work for me. But then once I
Speaker 1: had a child, I realized that if I don't wake
Speaker 1: up before her, then my only other option to have
Speaker 1: a lone time in my day is to stay up
Speaker 1: really late. And that wasn't working for me either. So
Speaker 1: I just wasn't getting anything actually productive done at that time.
Speaker 1: So if I was staying up late, So I started
Speaker 1: it mostly because I was super cranky. My daughter was
Speaker 1: ten months old, and she was waking up really early,
Speaker 1: and I was way king up with her. So before
Speaker 1: that I had been working full time or working part time,
Speaker 1: and I would I had a little bit of a
Speaker 1: schedule to where I was waking up at least twenty
Speaker 1: minutes before her getting ready for my day. Wasn't like
Speaker 1: I was actually having a peaceful moment or anything, but
Speaker 1: I was getting ready for my day. And then she
Speaker 1: would wake up and I was ready to address her
Speaker 1: in a happy way. But it was summer and we
Speaker 1: had moved. Everything was crazy. She was waking up super early.
Speaker 1: I was not ready to wake up with her happy.
Speaker 1: So I had to make some kind of change because
Speaker 1: I didn't want to start my days like that. That's
Speaker 1: just not a good outlook for the rest of the day.
Speaker 1: And I stumbled on the Miracle Morning by how El
Speaker 1: Rod I think is yes, yes, yes, And that was
Speaker 1: for some reason He's he was really convincing, and I
Speaker 1: just like, hey, I think I can do this, And
Speaker 1: it gave me a plan to start with, and I
Speaker 1: think I needed that. It ended up being a little
Speaker 1: bit too much of a plan for me, so I
Speaker 1: didn't stick with his version, but it helped me wake
Speaker 1: up earlier. And what that did do for me is
Speaker 1: one of his suggestions is affirmations, and I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think gratitude is something he suggests, and if not,
Speaker 1: that was just something I picked up somewhere else. And
Speaker 1: I started the day with waking up a little bit
Speaker 1: of peaceful time to myself with coffee and gratitude and affirmations,
Speaker 1: and that was really changing everything for me. And I
Speaker 1: started waking up earlier and earlier and earlier, and I
Speaker 1: just was able to really do a lot with that time,
Speaker 1: and it changed the way I felt about the rest
Speaker 1: of the day, basically because once my daughter woke up,
Speaker 1: I was ready for that and I was ready to
Speaker 1: at that point when I started this, it was the
Speaker 1: summer before, I guess, my first official stay at home
Speaker 1: mom you er, and I was about to be on
Speaker 1: all day with her, so I needed that. I needed
Speaker 1: that time to myself. A side note in this lightning round,
Speaker 1: did that change your bedtime? It did? And there are
Speaker 1: right now it because I of the nature of what
Speaker 1: I do right now, and my work is completely within
Speaker 1: the times when she's sleeping. My awake time and sleep
Speaker 1: time fluctuate, but Basically, I just try to give myself
Speaker 1: a seven to eight hours sleep buffer. And because I
Speaker 1: was staying up later before the time when I you know,
Speaker 1: when I was waking up with her, I just I
Speaker 1: slowly moved it back. And I've never really had trouble
Speaker 1: going to sleep, So I can't really give too much
Speaker 1: too many tips for that, but I do think getting
Speaker 1: to sleep earlier is key in being able to wake
Speaker 1: up earlier and actually enjoy your day. Yeah, you still
Speaker 1: need a certain amount of sleep every night, right, So
Speaker 1: what have you been able to accomplish in your early mornings.
Speaker 1: I at first I took a job that literally was
Speaker 1: done in the morning. So I was working for Have
Speaker 1: you heard of v I p Kid. Yeah, it's big
Speaker 1: in the kind of stept free and frugality, and that
Speaker 1: was really great. So I was able to work and
Speaker 1: work for two to three hours in the morning, and
Speaker 1: it was very early and I would have to go
Speaker 1: to bed much earlier. But that was one huge accomplishment.
Speaker 1: But I started to because I still kept a little
Speaker 1: bit of time for myself to be creative and to
Speaker 1: journal and make the lists that I needed to make
Speaker 1: to really start my day. Well, I started to also
Speaker 1: extend my time, and some days I would work for
Speaker 1: v I P Kid and other days I had these
Speaker 1: creative ideas and I would work on those, and I
Speaker 1: would say, I really built my podcast and and the
Speaker 1: work I do now in that morning time and nap time.
Speaker 1: But it was in mornings or when I feel more creative,
Speaker 1: and I was able to really fully build that up
Speaker 1: and create a job for myself in that time. So yeah,
Speaker 1: that I think that's the biggest accomplishment. And sometimes I
Speaker 1: will also work out in the mornings. It is part
Speaker 1: of my routine a few days a week. Right now,
Speaker 1: I was doing it every day. I feel like as
Speaker 1: the morning's got colder, I just wanted to choose to
Speaker 1: do that at another time of day, just because I
Speaker 1: like the coziness of sitting with a blanket and my
Speaker 1: journal but and my computer to work. But yeah, I've
Speaker 1: accomplished it a lot in that time, and I I
Speaker 1: always think of it as you're basically carving out space.
Speaker 1: You can you can do whatever you want in that
Speaker 1: morning time, but but you're basically carving out time and
Speaker 1: space for things that you've wanted to do that you
Speaker 1: just might not see in your day any time for
Speaker 1: right now, especially when I talk about when I talk
Speaker 1: to moms about this, that's a huge thing. I even
Speaker 1: if it's you want to have space to read, you're
Speaker 1: carving out space that you can sit and read, or
Speaker 1: if you want to have space too, I don't know,
Speaker 1: get dressed and get ready for your day before your
Speaker 1: kids are asking you for breakfast. Whatever it is that
Speaker 1: you want to create time and space for, It's a
Speaker 1: really good way to do that. For sure. Have you
Speaker 1: seen an impact the way that you relate to your
Speaker 1: daughter when in the morning, Oh my goodness, it's so
Speaker 1: different because when she I feel like I would just
Speaker 1: feel so angry, which sounds horrible, like I'm some angry mother,
Speaker 1: But I would just feel so angry that she wasn't
Speaker 1: sleeping right and that she was waking up earlier than usual,
Speaker 1: and I didn't have a good mindset about it. And
Speaker 1: as I started the morning, I just felt like not that,
Speaker 1: you know, once I picked her up, everything change and yeah,
Speaker 1: I love her and she's she's a sweet little baby.
Speaker 1: Then but I would just feel like I was stumbling
Speaker 1: into my morning basically trying to figure out what to
Speaker 1: cook for breakfast. It just that's how I used to
Speaker 1: live my days in general. So I feel like it
Speaker 1: is similar to just what my life looked like before
Speaker 1: minimalism anyways, but just kind of no real plan and
Speaker 1: no real routine to the way that I related to
Speaker 1: her in the mornings in general. And now I feel
Speaker 1: like it's just I'm just able to be slower, and um,
Speaker 1: you know, it's not like I start my morning super
Speaker 1: productive with her. After this morning time, I start slow intentionally,
Speaker 1: and I sit with her and I cuddle with her
Speaker 1: for a while. Then we do breakfast together, and I'm
Speaker 1: just happier. Not to say that on mornings she decides
Speaker 1: to wake up an hour earlier for some reason, I
Speaker 1: still don't feel like, you know, I wish that she
Speaker 1: would keep sleeping or what is wrong with going on here?
Speaker 1: I still feel that way, but I almost always at
Speaker 1: least have forty minutes before she wakes up, and at
Speaker 1: that time I'm able to get myself ready and remind
Speaker 1: myself that part of my purpose for this day is
Speaker 1: to show her love and take care of her and
Speaker 1: raised her. Because myself of that, when I go and
Speaker 1: get her out of better, when I hear her crying
Speaker 1: for me, I'm ready. I'm ready to do that once again.
Speaker 1: That greater intentionality can make room for better interactions, better
Speaker 1: life choices, more purposeful living. My goodness, well done. You
Speaker 1: start your morning like intentionally instead of reactionary, and I
Speaker 1: think that makes a huge difference for how you interact
Speaker 1: with the rest of your day. Yeah, that's exactly it.
Speaker 1: That is a great way to put it. M Desiree.
Speaker 1: So many good points. I know you've even got more
Speaker 1: with them in you. Where can people learn more about you?
Speaker 1: Get your book dive into this topic a bit more? Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I am at desert injuries dot com and that's
Speaker 1: where you can kind of find my podcasts and everything.
Speaker 1: But my podcast is minimalist. You can search that anywhere.
Speaker 1: It's just minimal dash ish. And I'm on Instagram at
Speaker 1: Desiree dot injuries. And my book is it's more like
Speaker 1: a journal, but it has qualities of a book. I
Speaker 1: guess there's a lot of writing that went into it,
Speaker 1: So sometimes I call it a book, but it is
Speaker 1: a morning companion journal and it takes you through this
Speaker 1: five step list making process, which sounds more elaborate than
Speaker 1: it is. It's just basically gives you space to do
Speaker 1: what I think um is a really great way to
Speaker 1: start intentionally, and it starts with kind of letting go
Speaker 1: of things and then it goes into that gratitude and
Speaker 1: purpose statements and affirmations like I was talking about earlier.
Speaker 1: So that it's on Amazon, and yeah, you can find
Speaker 1: all of it basically in the same place if you
Speaker 1: just go to my website or Instagram. Yes, I love
Speaker 1: your journal. It's called Simple Morning Lists and it does.
Speaker 1: It has space for just these these lists of gratitude
Speaker 1: and intentionality and they will help you start your day
Speaker 1: on an intentional note, no matter what your goal for
Speaker 1: the day is. So thanks so much for coming on. Desiree.
Speaker 1: Was so cool to chat with you. Yeah, thanks for
Speaker 1: having me. It was so fun. That was fun. Yes,
Speaker 1: Desrae is such a fantastic woman and she's she's great.
Speaker 1: She's chill and you get that from her on her podcast,
Speaker 1: on her website through it probably because she wakes up
Speaker 1: early in the morning. She's such a pleasant person. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: I'm over here yelling in your ears, and my mornings
Speaker 1: are chaos. My kid wakes up it all hours of
Speaker 1: the morning and I'm never ready for him. So that
Speaker 1: is probably I start my day reactionary, and that is
Speaker 1: why I can have those words, because they are not
Speaker 1: how I want to start my day. They are often
Speaker 1: how my day starts. So I heard that. Well, you know,
Speaker 1: there's more things that we can constantly be learning and
Speaker 1: growing in, and one of those ways is by book club.
Speaker 1: So this month we're reading The tight Wad Gazette by Amy.
Speaker 1: I'm not even gonna try, do you know Amy Dassan?
Speaker 1: I would say Dassison. Type in the type Wade gasette.
Speaker 1: And there's ways to get a free one if you
Speaker 1: If you don't even know how to like type this in,
Speaker 1: here's a way, go ahead, Jen, What if you don't
Speaker 1: know how to find the book, you might be able
Speaker 1: to get a free book. Oh my god, I didn't
Speaker 1: know if you were talking. I don't and I didn't
Speaker 1: know if you're recording, if you were talking to yourself.
Speaker 1: I really thought you were talking to yourself, and I
Speaker 1: was like, what's she doing? Yeah, what's she doing? Okay, Hi,
Speaker 1: don't wake up early? So sometimes that don't make sense.
Speaker 1: If you want a free copy of The tight Wad Gazette,
Speaker 1: all you have to do is leave us a review
Speaker 1: on iTunes. Or Stitcher. Screenshot the review and send it
Speaker 1: to Frugal Friends podcast at gmail dot com, and we
Speaker 1: will select one review for every five we receive to
Speaker 1: win a copy of this book. Here's a helpful example
Speaker 1: of a review. This one happens to be five stars.
Speaker 1: It's titled Love This Podcast by Ski Girls sixteen j MC.
Speaker 1: This podcast is realistic, helpful, and entertaining. I just started
Speaker 1: listening a few days ago and have binged on their
Speaker 1: past episodes. I've gotten lots of inspiration. I've literally laughed
Speaker 1: out loud many times. Thanks for what y'all are doing.
Speaker 1: Thank you, Thank your girl, hope you perfect time a
Speaker 1: year to be a ski girlfully your skiing out there.
Speaker 1: So beyond sixteen j m C. And so I promised
Speaker 1: to tell you a little bit about five weeks to
Speaker 1: five hundred. We are spending the first five weeks of
Speaker 1: getting our savings up to five hundred extra dollars per
Speaker 1: week to put towards debt in and so, if you
Speaker 1: can save an extra five dollars a week, that's over
Speaker 1: twenty thousand dollars this year you can put towards your debt.
Speaker 1: So if that is your goal, then go to five
Speaker 1: weeks to five hundred dot com and get enrolled in
Speaker 1: this course. You are going to get all of the
Speaker 1: things that I learned to save money and pay off
Speaker 1: debt without getting an extra job. So head over five
Speaker 1: weeks to five dot com and we'll see you there.
Speaker 1: Let's see you next week. Bye. Herugal Friends is produced,
Speaker 1: edited and mixed by r Experience. That sounds amazing. I'm
Speaker 1: excited about it. Uh does someone just give me money?
Speaker 1: Is that how that works? You know? I contemplated that
Speaker 1: because I thought it would get more people to sign
Speaker 1: up than I thought. Oh, if that's not sustainable. You
Speaker 1: can't just be giving people five dollars every week. Yeah, yeah, right,
Speaker 1: but you thought about it. So it's the thought that counts,
Speaker 1: that's what they say. But it will shock people how
Speaker 1: often they have an extra five dollars per week that
Speaker 1: they are spending. And it's not just in like trips
Speaker 1: to target it, but it's in small things and big
Speaker 1: things that they don't realize they're spending money on. And
Speaker 1: it's definitely doable. I've had friends go from one year
Speaker 1: spending putting six thousand dollars towards their debt to UH
Speaker 1: fifty thousand the next year, just from being more intentional
Speaker 1: about their spending and and getting some side jobs. And
Speaker 1: we're not talking about side jobs here, but we are
Speaker 1: talking about all the ways that you can capitalize on
Speaker 1: unused space and time to save more money, to to
Speaker 1: bring in more income. Five weeks to five it's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we're gonna work up to it. It's normal people doing
Speaker 1: normal things to create sustainable change. I'm out. It's right.
Speaker 1: It's not sexy. I'm not normal, so okay, mate,