1 00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:21,639 Speaker 1: Hello, Hello Emily. Here you are listening to five Minute 2 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:26,200 Speaker 1: Friday from Hurdle. Happy holidays everyone. I have been really 3 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 1: thinking a lot this week, in particular about traditions. I 4 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: have some that I partake in with my family every 5 00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:38,680 Speaker 1: year around this time, things like going to Arthur Avenue 6 00:00:38,800 --> 00:00:42,840 Speaker 1: to do food shopping in all of the best Italian 7 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:46,600 Speaker 1: shops in the Bronx before Christmas Eve and then eating 8 00:00:47,040 --> 00:00:50,080 Speaker 1: at Domini's if you know, you know, going to my 9 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: grandmother's for Christmas Eve and we're not doing the twelve 10 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:57,200 Speaker 1: fishes in proper Italian form, but there is a fish 11 00:00:57,360 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 1: situation happening there, likely muscles for sure. And Christmas Day 12 00:01:03,720 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 1: hanging out with my mom and going to get Chinese 13 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,440 Speaker 1: food and watch movies. And I do it every year 14 00:01:09,520 --> 00:01:15,000 Speaker 1: and it brings me so much joy. Last year, my 15 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,960 Speaker 1: family got a little bit bigger and my dad remarried, 16 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:23,680 Speaker 1: and it was really interesting because it was almost as 17 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: though I took this opportunity with new members of my family, 18 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:32,160 Speaker 1: step siblings, stepmother, to ask myself what traditions do we 19 00:01:32,319 --> 00:01:35,880 Speaker 1: want to create, what do we want to do together? 20 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: And in reflecting on that, we haven't come up with 21 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,520 Speaker 1: anything just yet. It's a work in progress. But it 22 00:01:44,600 --> 00:01:47,680 Speaker 1: doesn't need to be something like that to have an 23 00:01:47,680 --> 00:01:52,320 Speaker 1: excuse to create a new thing that you do regularly. 24 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:57,440 Speaker 1: It doesn't need to be some massive, big event. Although 25 00:01:57,560 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: how special it is for us to be to grow 26 00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 1: our family, I digress. I think about rituals and traditions 27 00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:11,080 Speaker 1: when it comes to myself. What are things that I 28 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:14,320 Speaker 1: want to be a part of my every year, of 29 00:02:14,440 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 1: maybe even part of my every week or every day. 30 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 1: A few years back, I started this tradition marrymaking with 31 00:02:21,280 --> 00:02:25,640 Speaker 1: my friends, and what it is is me inviting girlfriends 32 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:30,680 Speaker 1: over to literally deck the halls, to decorate my tree, 33 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:35,720 Speaker 1: to eat pizza, sip cocktails and just have a nice time. 34 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:38,080 Speaker 1: And now it's a tradition that I look forward to 35 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: every single year. Last year, I deliberately threw a holiday party. 36 00:02:43,120 --> 00:02:45,000 Speaker 1: I know this is funny because I am a single 37 00:02:45,040 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 1: person LLC. But I threw a holiday party for myself 38 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,960 Speaker 1: and I got dressed up and was very intentional with 39 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: it and took myself to dinner. And this year I 40 00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:58,040 Speaker 1: was very intentional with doing the same thing. Any day, 41 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,920 Speaker 1: any week any more is an opportunity for you to 42 00:03:01,919 --> 00:03:04,640 Speaker 1: do inventory and say maybe I want to make this 43 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:09,760 Speaker 1: new tradition for myself. I understand that it can be challenging, 44 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:13,600 Speaker 1: especially around this time of year when things are maybe 45 00:03:13,639 --> 00:03:15,600 Speaker 1: different than how they used to be. There are people 46 00:03:15,639 --> 00:03:17,920 Speaker 1: that are in and out of your life. Family is 47 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:22,800 Speaker 1: always looking different. And what if instead of harping on 48 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,400 Speaker 1: the things that you are without, you take a step 49 00:03:25,440 --> 00:03:28,400 Speaker 1: back and you celebrate all that it is that you 50 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: do have. I read a quote sort of along these 51 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:34,840 Speaker 1: lines yesterday, which is going from being worried about what 52 00:03:34,920 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 1: might happen to being excited about what might happen is 53 00:03:38,560 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: only a mindset shift away. And so I ask you 54 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 1: today to think about this. What traditions do you have 55 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:49,200 Speaker 1: in your life that you are grateful for? And where 56 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:53,160 Speaker 1: is their room to establish some that are new a 57 00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:56,480 Speaker 1: fundamental exercise for the holidays. And also, these traditions don't 58 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,520 Speaker 1: have to just center around this time of year. You 59 00:03:58,520 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: can have a tradition for something that you do in 60 00:04:00,400 --> 00:04:03,280 Speaker 1: February or March or I mean, I could name all 61 00:04:03,280 --> 00:04:05,480 Speaker 1: of the months of the year. You're following here. You 62 00:04:05,520 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 1: get what I'm saying. And now a listener question. Hey, Emily, 63 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:14,680 Speaker 1: I really love your recent posts about traveling alone. This 64 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:16,680 Speaker 1: has been a goal of mine for a few years now, 65 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,680 Speaker 1: and I feel like it will unlock so much for me, 66 00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 1: but I also have so many fears about it. I 67 00:04:21,520 --> 00:04:23,240 Speaker 1: know the answer is to just do it and it 68 00:04:23,279 --> 00:04:25,440 Speaker 1: will all work out, but the realist and me often 69 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:28,560 Speaker 1: weighs in a bit too much. One of my biggest 70 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:32,000 Speaker 1: concerns traveling alone as a single woman is my safety. 71 00:04:32,400 --> 00:04:34,359 Speaker 1: Did you ever have this thought and what did you 72 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:37,560 Speaker 1: do to get over this hurdle? Appreciate your feedback. Your 73 00:04:37,640 --> 00:04:41,840 Speaker 1: journey in life has been inspiring. Okay, safety is actually 74 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,640 Speaker 1: very important to me when I'm traveling alone. The number 75 00:04:44,720 --> 00:04:48,839 Speaker 1: one tip I will offer anyone is that never share 76 00:04:48,920 --> 00:04:52,480 Speaker 1: a location when you are there in real time. So 77 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: although I am more than happy to share highlights of 78 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: my day and what's going on, it's always going to 79 00:04:59,200 --> 00:05:04,160 Speaker 1: be a later. Just to be cautious, I will never 80 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:07,240 Speaker 1: share the name of a hotel that I am staying at, 81 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 1: or an Airbnb or any of specifics until I have 82 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: literally checked out of that location. Now does that mean 83 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:19,760 Speaker 1: that maybe if there's a specific wallpaper or specific carpet 84 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,599 Speaker 1: that someone won't be able to notice if I share 85 00:05:22,800 --> 00:05:26,080 Speaker 1: something from inside the property, no, and I understand that, 86 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: but I really do make it a point to be 87 00:05:30,400 --> 00:05:35,520 Speaker 1: as considerate and responsible as possible when it comes to 88 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:40,919 Speaker 1: my safety. If I meet anyone while I am traveling alone, 89 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,240 Speaker 1: I will not tell them that I am traveling alone. 90 00:05:44,440 --> 00:05:47,640 Speaker 1: I actually was at a bar having dinner while I 91 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,120 Speaker 1: was in Miami recently, and a man asked me twice 92 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 1: where I was staying, and I didn't answer him. I 93 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 1: told him places I've liked to stay in the past. 94 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: And then I live and work alone. Like I spend 95 00:06:00,440 --> 00:06:02,200 Speaker 1: a lot of time alone, and so a product of 96 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 1: that is that I have some systems in place so 97 00:06:04,560 --> 00:06:07,160 Speaker 1: that my friends and family often know either where I 98 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,760 Speaker 1: am or that I'm okay. When I go out for 99 00:06:09,800 --> 00:06:12,640 Speaker 1: a run. I have friends that get pinged when I 100 00:06:12,839 --> 00:06:16,880 Speaker 1: start and stop my workout. I also share my location 101 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:20,000 Speaker 1: with some of my close friends. And if I'm ever 102 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: doing something that makes me feel a little scared or 103 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: a little nervous, that's my body telling me something that 104 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:29,520 Speaker 1: maybe I need to do a gut check, and I'll 105 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: then send another text being like, Hey, I'm going out 106 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,360 Speaker 1: to dinner here right now. Just check my location an 107 00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 1: hour or text me in an hour and a half 108 00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:40,800 Speaker 1: or insert so many of the tactics that I've exercised 109 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 1: as a single woman to date. Yes, solo travel can 110 00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:49,000 Speaker 1: be intimidating, and I totally understand and agree that there 111 00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:52,719 Speaker 1: are safety concerns and precautions that you should take. But 112 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:55,720 Speaker 1: I refuse to let that be the thing that stops 113 00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:59,320 Speaker 1: me from getting up and getting out and seeing this 114 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:03,320 Speaker 1: amazing planet that we live on. The Other thing is 115 00:07:03,320 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 1: that I used to travel only being on Wi Fi. 116 00:07:05,560 --> 00:07:09,000 Speaker 1: And while that was really relaxing for me being able 117 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,000 Speaker 1: to unplug in that way, what I realized is that 118 00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,600 Speaker 1: from a safety pov it didn't make me feel that 119 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:17,080 Speaker 1: comfortable as I continue to do it. So make sure 120 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,440 Speaker 1: you're activating a cell phone plan that allows you the 121 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,600 Speaker 1: opportunity to stay connected. And then at the same token, 122 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,200 Speaker 1: I will say this, if you're going on a solo trip, 123 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 1: don't sit there on your phone the whole time. So 124 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,119 Speaker 1: if you're going out to dinner, going out to lunch, 125 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: going to the beach, whatever, bring books, bring journals. Disconnect 126 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 1: to reconnect with yourself in a way that is both 127 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: safe and responsible and helps you come back to you. 128 00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:43,000 Speaker 1: I hope these tips help if you have any more 129 00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,600 Speaker 1: questions about solo travel or of course, at any point, 130 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:48,800 Speaker 1: any question at all. I'm always here to answer your 131 00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: listener questions. Head on over to email me at Hello 132 00:07:52,160 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 1: at hurdle dot us or DM hurdle over on social 133 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: it's at Hurdle Podcast. I'm over at Emily a Body, 134 00:07:59,120 --> 00:08:09,360 Speaker 1: Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time. M