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Speaker 1: It is time now for today's Strawberry Letter, and if

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Speaker 1: you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more,

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Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to STEVEARBFM dot com by

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Speaker 1: clicking Submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're gonna read this

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Speaker 1: one right here, right now, and you never know, it

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Speaker 1: could be yours.

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Speaker 2: It could be yours. Buckle up and hold on tight.

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Speaker 2: We got it for you here it is Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: Thank you, nephew. Subjects is sharing a man? Listen to

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Speaker 1: the subject now? Is sharing a man better than being single?

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Speaker 3: We're gonna ask to We're gonna ask Tommy not to

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Speaker 3: say nothing. Tommy, hold damn letter. I'm gonna try. No,

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Speaker 3: It's gonna be hard.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, see if you can go ahead?

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Speaker 5: Shut all right, Thank you, Steve. Dear Stephen Shirley.

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Speaker 1: I had an extramarital affair with a man for nine years,

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Speaker 1: and it was the most significant.

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Speaker 5: Relationship that I have ever had.

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Speaker 1: It lasted from the time I was thirty until I

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Speaker 1: was thirty nine. Although he was married. We vacationed together

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Speaker 1: and he treated me well. We also spent Christmas and

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Speaker 1: New Year's Eves together.

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Speaker 5: Every year.

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Speaker 1: I would fly in first, and then his wife and

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Speaker 1: family would come a day or two later. They would

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Speaker 1: come in a day or two later, just so we

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Speaker 1: could have our time and space to be together. He

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Speaker 1: and I are both athletes, and we enjoyed working out

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Speaker 1: and watching sports together. But I got tired of being

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Speaker 1: number two in his life, so I ended the relationship

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Speaker 1: five years ago. We remained friends and occasionally we meet

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Speaker 1: up for coffee or lunch. I have to try to

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Speaker 1: keep my feelings in check when I see him, because

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Speaker 1: I do still love him. Recently, he told me that

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Speaker 1: he misses the time that he and I spent together,

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Speaker 1: and he said he needs me back in his life.

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Speaker 1: He has asked me to be his second wife in

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Speaker 1: a polygamous marriage, which is allowed here in South Africa.

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Speaker 1: This is the third time he's asked me. The first

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Speaker 1: two times I was younger and I thought I would

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Speaker 1: meet a man and start a family of my own.

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Speaker 1: Now that I am older and I can no longer

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Speaker 1: have children, I am considering his proposal. Steven Shirley, this

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Speaker 1: is the greatest man I've ever known, and the only

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Speaker 1: man I've ever loved. I don't think I can find

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Speaker 1: this type of connection with anyone else. So I ask you,

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Speaker 1: is it better for me to share him with his

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Speaker 1: first wife or wait for a love of my own

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Speaker 1: and remain single for now?

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Speaker 5: Okay? I mean the obvious question to.

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Speaker 2: Say.

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Speaker 1: We have asked you not to say anything. I told

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Speaker 1: you yes. I mean, obviously you have questions about all

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Speaker 1: of this, or you wouldn't be writing Steve and I first.

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Speaker 1: Why would you consciously choose to be second? That's not

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Speaker 1: how a person really thinks, especially a person in their

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Speaker 1: right mind. You will never be first if you already

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Speaker 1: are settling for second. And he has no incentive to

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Speaker 1: do anything other than what he's doing. He wants his

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Speaker 1: cake and he wants to eat it too. In other words,

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Speaker 1: he's not leaving his wife, but he still wants you.

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Speaker 1: He's asked you to be his second wife because you

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Speaker 1: are considering and allowing it. I just say, don't do

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Speaker 1: this to yourself. I mean, what about you. You've been

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Speaker 1: with him when you were thirty till thirty nine. You

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Speaker 1: want nine more years to go by in your life

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Speaker 1: being with this man and having.

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Speaker 5: No man of your own?

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Speaker 4: What do you want?

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Speaker 5: What about you?

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Speaker 1: I know you want a man of your own. You

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Speaker 1: want Christmas Day right instead of Christmas?

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Speaker 5: Eve.

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Speaker 1: Don't you think you deserve that? I mean, anything else

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Speaker 1: should be unacceptable to you. You've got to get out

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Speaker 1: of this place you're in. There are other good men

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Speaker 1: out there. You said this is the best man you've

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Speaker 1: ever known. He was cheating on his wife. That doesn't

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Speaker 1: make him a good man. Put yourself first instead of

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Speaker 1: loving him and being so sprung on.

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Speaker 5: You gotta love yourself. You gotta choose you.

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Speaker 1: You gotta get your self esteem, your self confidence up.

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Speaker 1: Stop thinking like one of these, like a desperate woman.

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Speaker 1: There's no way you would be thinking about being his

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Speaker 1: number two if you were your own self number one.

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Speaker 1: You understand what I'm saying. You gotta start today remembering

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Speaker 1: and realizing who you really are. Tell this married man

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Speaker 1: to kick rocks, work on yourself. Okay, this is not

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Speaker 1: the man for you, Steve.

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Speaker 3: I have so many questions in this letter, and I travel,

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Speaker 3: so let's start. I'm in an extra marital fair with

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Speaker 3: a man for nine years and it's been the most

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Speaker 3: significant relationship I've ever had. It lasted from the time

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Speaker 3: I was thirty until I was thirty nine.

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Speaker 4: Prime time.

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Speaker 3: Although he was married, we vacation together, and he treated me, well, wait,

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Speaker 3: let me.

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Speaker 6: Say, wow, how y'all going on vacations together. I'm trying

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Speaker 6: to figure out how what married man can go somewhere

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Speaker 6: for a week taking a vacation and.

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Speaker 3: Your wife don't know or ain't there. I don't know

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Speaker 3: how this happened. So I have that question. You ready

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Speaker 3: for the next one. We also spent Christmas and New

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Speaker 3: Year's Eve together every year. What these are major holidays?

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Speaker 3: You can't get Christmas? It tests ain't no way to

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Speaker 3: explain Christmas to the wife and them kids.

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Speaker 4: It's how.

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Speaker 3: New Year's Eve and Christmas Eve or Christmas Day you

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Speaker 3: cannot explain those away?

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Speaker 4: And okay, but he ain't through though he said I did.

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Speaker 3: She said I would fly in first, then his wife

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Speaker 3: and family would come in.

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Speaker 4: A day or two later, come in, well, fly.

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Speaker 3: Well the vacation spot, and then he fly the family

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Speaker 3: in New Year's Day or the day after. What who

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Speaker 3: let their husband go in early?

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Speaker 4: I'm I don't understand.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, no, they She didn't say, well, we'll get into

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Speaker 1: it when we get back.

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Speaker 4: She ain't say what break right here?

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Speaker 5: We got to take a break right here I'll tell you.

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Speaker 1: We'll have part two of your response coming up at

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Speaker 1: twenty three minutes after the hour. Is sharing a man

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Speaker 1: better than being single? Is the subject of today's Strawberry letter.

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Speaker 1: We'll get back into it right after this.

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Speaker 3: Did you know you could now buy a Hondai on Amazon,

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Speaker 3: the same place where you order yoga man, a toothbrush,

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Speaker 3: and pretty much everything else, all from the comfort of

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Speaker 3: your home, just located nearby dealer, pick your color, your options,

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Speaker 3: check the price, and with a few dotting of some

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Speaker 3: eyes and crossing some teas, Waila, your Hondai is ready

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Speaker 3: for pick up.

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Speaker 2: It's that easy. Visit Honda USA dot com for more details.

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Speaker 2: Limited availability pick up through participating Hondai.

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Speaker 4: Dealers and select markets. So sure, all right, Well we left.

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Speaker 3: I was giving my explanation that but you said you

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Speaker 3: could explain this because I was struggling with the part

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Speaker 3: in the letter where they said they were married.

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Speaker 4: We vacation together. He treated me well. We also spent

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Speaker 4: Christmas and New Year's Eve together. Every year.

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Speaker 3: I would fly in first, and his wife and family

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Speaker 3: would come in a day or two later.

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Speaker 1: What what's for the vacation part?

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Speaker 5: That's just for the vacation part. Yeah, sure, that's all.

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Speaker 4: Did you did you read the letter?

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Speaker 7: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: I did.

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Speaker 4: Also spent Christmas in New Year's Eve together.

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Speaker 3: Every year would fly in first, then his wife and

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Speaker 3: family would come in a day or two later.

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Speaker 1: Uh huh.

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Speaker 4: That's in reference to Christmas and New Year's Eve.

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Speaker 1: But she said we also spent Christmas in New Year's

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Speaker 1: e together. She didn't say that they vacationed Christmas even

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Speaker 1: New Year's Eve.

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Speaker 5: That's all I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: Okay, okay, fine, I'll except that. Yeah, let me ask

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Speaker 3: you a question. Okay, as a woman, you and Carl,

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Speaker 3: you already know what did he say that he ain't

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Speaker 3: there for Christmas?

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Speaker 4: Even Christmas? Where you? What is you telling me?

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Speaker 3: I'm so bad for Okay now, okay, so now let

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Speaker 3: me go on through the letter. He and I both athletes,

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Speaker 3: and we enjoy working out and watching sports together. But

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Speaker 3: I got tired of being number two, so I ended

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Speaker 3: the relationship five years ago. Main friends and occasionally met

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Speaker 3: her for coffee or lunch. I had to keep my

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Speaker 3: feelings check when I see him, because I do still

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Speaker 3: love him. Recently, he told me that he misses the

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Speaker 3: time that he and I spend together and he needs

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Speaker 3: me back in his life. Okay, cool, listen to this.

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Speaker 3: He has asked me to be his second wife in a.

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Speaker 5: Po polygamous You know what that means.

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Speaker 4: Polygamisis to what I'm looking at.

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Speaker 3: You know, polygamous marriage, which is allowed here in South Africa.

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Speaker 3: I've been to South many times. Tape shows that and everything.

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Speaker 3: I ain't heard this, I have not now I know

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Speaker 3: in Africa there are multiple wives. It's also allowed in

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Speaker 3: the Arab culture in some places, multiple wives, multiple No,

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Speaker 3: you ain't you ain't that now? See you a'm as

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Speaker 3: wanna get somebody kid because me don't know how to

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Speaker 3: play in the second box together.

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Speaker 4: All the only.

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Speaker 3: Ones that know how to play in the sand box together, ain't. No, man,

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Speaker 3: you can't have multiple husbands. No, it's because you can't.

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Speaker 3: You can't do that because what you have. No, No,

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Speaker 3: because what you have to give away, because what you

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Speaker 3: have to give away is far more precious.

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Speaker 4: And every man knows that.

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Speaker 5: But he can have all the wives he wants. He

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Speaker 5: just This is the.

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Speaker 3: Third time he's asked me this, and the first two

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Speaker 3: times was young and I thought I would meet a

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Speaker 3: man and start a family on my own. Why you

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Speaker 3: gonna meet a man and start a family own? And

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Speaker 3: you see in this other guy that ain't gonna happen.

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Speaker 3: Now I'm older and I can no longer have children.

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Speaker 3: I'm considering his proposal. Steven Sherley, this is the greatest

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Speaker 3: man I've ever known and the only man I've ever loved.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I can find this type of connection

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Speaker 3: with anybody else. So I asked you, is it better

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Speaker 3: for me to share him with his first wife or

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Speaker 3: wait for love on my own.

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Speaker 4: And remain single for now?

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Speaker 3: I can't answer that for you, because obviously you have

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Speaker 3: a proposal that I've never been able to give to anybody.

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Speaker 3: You know, I couldn't even get two women just be

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Speaker 3: my girlfriend at the same time.

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Speaker 4: So what.

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Speaker 3: I've never been able to convince it just be my

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Speaker 3: girlfriend at the same time. I've always had to manage

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Speaker 3: some type of lie to even maintain that. I think

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Speaker 3: what he doing right now, I think he lined up

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Speaker 3: into Max.

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Speaker 4: Now, if you want to do that, and you want

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Speaker 4: to sign up for that, go ahead. If that's what

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Speaker 4: you want to do, go ahead.

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Speaker 5: Don't do that.

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Speaker 2: The best nine years of her life, that's the best

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Speaker 2: nine years because she.

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Speaker 5: Doesn't know any better.

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Speaker 4: Well, if you when you know better, you can do better. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, But if you don't know better, you ain't gonna

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Speaker 3: do better. So that's where she at right now. Or

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Speaker 3: wait for love on my own, or remain single for now.

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Speaker 3: You can wait, wait for love, wait for love, don't

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Speaker 3: get the chance to love?

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Speaker 4: Wait for love? Yeah, no, love.

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Speaker 7: The way I do. Why that is true? Chance for Yeah,

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Speaker 7: hold on tie, Yeah, I think you're right. Nothing hurts

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Speaker 7: as bad as when you see you gave her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but worse ain't finitely the same. In the Arab culture,

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Speaker 3: if you have a second wife, that wife has to

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Speaker 3: live in the exact same luxury as the first. That

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Speaker 3: could be no differential, Like she can't have a big

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Speaker 3: palace and then you got the little studio apartment.

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Speaker 1: I'd like to be able to afford her. Yeah, the

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Speaker 1: exact same gone over there.

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Speaker 4: I'm in my palace. But I know everybody.

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Speaker 3: I know all my friends over there, they got one

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Speaker 3: wife and know they can't take that.

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Speaker 4: In the house.

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Speaker 1: Leave your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter on Instagram and Spacebook,

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Speaker 1: at Steve Harvey FM, and check us out on the

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Letter Podcast. On the free iHeartRadio app, coming up

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Speaker 1: next to his junior and sports talk. Right after this,

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Speaker 1: you're listening to the Steve Harvey Morning Show