Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.
Speaker 2: You guys, I have something that I have been meaning
Speaker 2: to talk to you guys about, and I keep putting on.
Speaker 3: My This is quick and makes me nervous every time.
Speaker 2: What Kat and I are always like, I watch our
Speaker 2: physicians change our body language. No, but it's something that's
Speaker 2: really bothered me. Great shift again.
Speaker 3: Can we start with this and have to do with us?
Speaker 4: Yeai?
Speaker 2: Oh no, I did your dramatic pause just as I
Speaker 2: go home, now okay cool?
Speaker 3: Then go okay, so.
Speaker 2: Shoot, so okay, I have to remember exactly what it
Speaker 2: was or y'all. Y'all know that I like when I'm
Speaker 2: on a plane, I like to meet the person next
Speaker 2: to me, right, That's how you met Sarah. That's how
Speaker 2: I met Sarah Gretzky, who's still a very dear friend.
Speaker 3: She's funny.
Speaker 2: I text her the other day and I said, hey, girl,
Speaker 2: when you come in to visit. She's like, how did
Speaker 2: you have two kids? The old baby drowning that's the worst.
Speaker 2: It's like you're drowning and babies and.
Speaker 3: It is hard, especially i's one to two, especially if
Speaker 3: there's two. That's really all this yeah.
Speaker 2: I keep telling her we need she needs to come
Speaker 2: on because she's just like I just got It's just
Speaker 2: I can't certain personality types too.
Speaker 3: I love to watch Get Two Kids.
Speaker 2: She's drown and I love watching just because I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't think because I had both kids when like
Speaker 2: you know, she was still like not engaged yet. It's
Speaker 2: it's hilarious to now watch because I'm like, oh, you're
Speaker 2: doing so good friend.
Speaker 3: Yeah you needed this. I love you.
Speaker 2: Okay, so you're But anyways, but that's my main western.
Speaker 2: I love meeting people on planes. I love talking to people.
Speaker 2: Maybe it kind of helps the anxiety a little bit.
Speaker 2: So Alan and I were flying back from where we've
Speaker 2: I don't remember. We didn't have the kids, it was
Speaker 2: just us. I was pregnant. I'm just making sure I'm
Speaker 2: mullle points right.
Speaker 4: Okay.
Speaker 3: So we're on the plane. Where are we coming from?
Speaker 2: God?
Speaker 3: I hate that.
Speaker 2: But we were rushing to get to the plane and
Speaker 2: and I see this really pretty girl at the gate,
Speaker 2: and I'm thinking she kind of looked like a publicist.
Speaker 2: Maybe she We're flying back from somewhere. It was like
Speaker 2: on East Coast somewhere. We were flying back to Nashville. Well,
Speaker 2: she ends up being my window seat, so I'm in
Speaker 2: the middle, Allan's in the aisle, and I was just like,
Speaker 2: you're just so pretty. Sorry if like I was staring
Speaker 2: at you earlier, I just think it's really pretty. She's like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, I was staring at you too, like
Speaker 2: do I know you? And I was like I don't
Speaker 2: know do we know each other, because you know, you
Speaker 2: never know people like work people. Yeah, long story short,
Speaker 2: She's like realized that she noticed me from one tree
Speaker 2: hill or whatever. But we started talking and we like
Speaker 2: had the she just got recently divorced. She's going she
Speaker 2: was going to Nashville to like, uh have this really
Speaker 2: fun just like time away.
Speaker 3: Here's my thing.
Speaker 2: We got so deep in the two hour flight that
Speaker 2: we had or whatever that I mean, like we have
Speaker 2: such similar pass that it was like scary. I mean
Speaker 2: we were both like teary at Alan's like and over
Speaker 2: like these weirdos.
Speaker 3: I'm like, she's my new friend, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: I'm like wanting to like, I'm like, oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: I love Pamelin. Like we're all just like talking like
Speaker 2: the girls. And then I was like, DM me so
Speaker 2: I can, we can stay in touch because like, she's
Speaker 2: no joke like someone. I was like, she's going to
Speaker 2: be a Sarah, you know, like a friend. And so
Speaker 2: when we got off the plane, she was.
Speaker 3: Like I DMD.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh yeah, I'm like, I'm going to
Speaker 2: go love. So I go to my DMS. I can't
Speaker 2: find her DM okay, And I went back. I'm like,
Speaker 2: there's literally no DM. She said she DMed me whatever.
Speaker 2: And to this day, I don't remember her name, and
Speaker 2: I keep thinking she probably thinks I'm a freaking bitch
Speaker 2: because I didn't respond to her. But I'm like I
Speaker 2: genuinely wanted to be friends with her, Like I genuinely
Speaker 2: was like DM because I wanted to talk to her,
Speaker 2: and I want to be like I was Nashville. I'm like,
Speaker 2: let's grab it, you know, and I'm not pregnant anmore.
Speaker 2: Let's grab a drink, you know. And now I'm like,
Speaker 2: this is she walking around being like she sucks?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 3: Does it show that? Yeah? Also, isn't there so therese
Speaker 3: Missed connections is like a thing? Do you remember that?
Speaker 3: What is that? Missed connections? Was this?
Speaker 2: Like I think it was for like dating, but it
Speaker 2: was like you met at an airport or you met
Speaker 2: it in an airport bar, and then later you're like, shit,
Speaker 2: I wish I would have gotten their number, and there
Speaker 2: was like a site maybe for this where you could.
Speaker 3: Go say like, well, I'm not trying to date her.
Speaker 4: Well, I.
Speaker 3: Just feel bad, but maybe she was.
Speaker 2: Like that's what I'm saying, like maybe we need like
Speaker 2: a miss connection moment on Instagram where you're.
Speaker 3: Like, okay, girl, maybe she listened.
Speaker 1: If she doesn't listen, she does not remember your name,
Speaker 1: email me at the.
Speaker 3: Email on Instagram because she didn't get your DM.
Speaker 2: I just feel bad because I don't want anyone to
Speaker 2: think that any connection was a and it's it's bothered
Speaker 2: me since that moment. And that was when I was
Speaker 2: pregnant with Jace. I mean Roman, I did not know
Speaker 2: Alan Jas. Okay, that's very clear before my boy, here's clickbait.
Speaker 2: So so yeah, I just I don't ever like someone
Speaker 2: thinking like, oh she was that was fake or something,
Speaker 2: or because I was like, she's a real moment in
Speaker 2: connection that I had with this person. I don't want
Speaker 2: her to think that I was. And now I'm just
Speaker 2: like I don't know, I don't know her name.
Speaker 3: I don't. Yeah, that's unfortunate, and she listens.
Speaker 2: So it really bothered me because I'm like, can you
Speaker 2: do an Instagram story? I think that's more effective. Maybe
Speaker 2: we need to do one today. It was well you drag,
Speaker 2: yeah you'll know it, you will, yeah, I will. I
Speaker 2: know exactly what she looks like. Okay, she was so sweet,
Speaker 2: forties like single mom, like I loved her.
Speaker 3: Yeah she's yeah. I think we were going to go
Speaker 3: get her.
Speaker 2: Do you know that feeling though, when you just you
Speaker 2: don't want someone to walk away going Oh, I guess
Speaker 2: because when you share something, you share meaningful conversations like
Speaker 2: you don't want Well, then here's here's the thing. What
Speaker 2: if she really didn't DM me, maybe it was fake
Speaker 2: on her side, and.
Speaker 1: Then she really didn't want to be your friend? She said,
Speaker 1: she you, but she didn't like you the whole time.
Speaker 3: I know you need to write the flip side. I thought,
Speaker 3: I really need to. She was like, I totally DM you.
Speaker 3: Nice to meet you didn't too much. She was like,
Speaker 3: that was in l a NonStop. She cried.
Speaker 2: I cried, did she okay? She it was like listening
Speaker 2: to you for both of us.
Speaker 3: Okay, it's fine, and then I was like, you fine, love,
Speaker 3: this is my like like, I was like, I promise
Speaker 3: it's out there.
Speaker 2: Alan's like, can I have another snack bag? I'm excited.
Speaker 3: I really need to know how this ends up now,
Speaker 3: which it is.
Speaker 2: Speaking of follow up, I'd like to move on to
Speaker 2: the next subject, which is I am getting a massive
Speaker 2: amount of d ms about your X on your skin.
Speaker 3: I was like, which one was?
Speaker 2: I should have paused dramatically, damn it. I've got a
Speaker 2: lot to learn from your kramer about your ex. I
Speaker 2: respect my fiance and we don't talk about excess great
Speaker 2: stuff you brought to you.
Speaker 3: By God.
Speaker 2: I really need I need inquiry. Minds, really need to
Speaker 2: know because what you've done is you've set the world
Speaker 2: on fire. People have been in their desks and in
Speaker 2: their cars doing XES on their They're like, so, really, hey,
Speaker 2: Christ and you might be a best shot at knowing
Speaker 2: what's going on with Jana and the X.
Speaker 3: So I'm on his skin.
Speaker 2: So I when got my blood, I got my blood
Speaker 2: work back. I went to your holistic doctor named Nate.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: He I'm pretty sure he regrets now meeting me because
Speaker 2: I texted him at eleven o'clock at night because I
Speaker 2: thought I was gonna have to go to the er
Speaker 2: because he's been making me do these peptide injections in
Speaker 2: my ass and the copper was stinging so bad. I mean,
Speaker 2: this is like an hour and I'm like, I'm in law,
Speaker 2: it does get that shit pain. Like it was an
Speaker 2: hour plus. So I texted him. I was like, hey, Nate,
Speaker 2: I am so sorry it's so late. But I also
Speaker 2: know he does own kids, so I was like, you
Speaker 2: know he can't.
Speaker 1: He's probably well any texts anyway, Yeah, like to you know,
Speaker 1: set up and see.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's well, just so we're clear, it's still there,
Speaker 2: see and just so we're there. My husband's also a
Speaker 2: patient and there's a certain artist like personality that is
Speaker 2: a little copy paste, so he knows what he's into. Okay, Well,
Speaker 2: I was like, do I need to go to the
Speaker 2: emergency room because I'm looking on Google right now and
Speaker 2: I might have hit my sadic nerve, which means that
Speaker 2: I'm like, because I'm doing these own injections in my
Speaker 2: butt right yeah, I'm like and Google and now I'm googling.
Speaker 2: I'm like, I could have hit my sidic nerve, Like
Speaker 2: which way where it's insane to me that I have
Speaker 2: married you and that you're my best friend.
Speaker 3: So he's like, you're fine.
Speaker 2: The copper stings a little bit longer, but I'm gonna,
Speaker 2: you know, whatever with the dosage. So he has me
Speaker 2: on like a million different So my testosterone was a three,
Speaker 2: which is really low. Uh, my thyroid is not great.
Speaker 2: He doesn't like how my thyroid is.
Speaker 3: I don't know.
Speaker 2: He said all these like weird things, and I was
Speaker 2: just like, can you please translate this in English to me?
Speaker 2: So he's got me on thyroid medicine, testosterone, He's got
Speaker 2: me on peptides obviously, he's got me on vitamin D.
Speaker 2: I have this mute gene mutation called MTHR that I've
Speaker 2: known about since I did IVF. He's like, interesting that
Speaker 2: you're not on a supplement for that, because that's something
Speaker 2: you should take for the rest of your life. It
Speaker 2: but he's thinking I might have a nerve problem. I
Speaker 2: knew he was going to dig deeper. That's why I
Speaker 2: wanted to go to him. He's a total dig deep deeper.
Speaker 2: But it's interesting because I texted the other day too.
Speaker 2: I keep texting him. I'm like Okay, new update. Because
Speaker 2: I had I was like, weird things keep happening. So
Speaker 2: I'm like, the other day I had these chills on
Speaker 2: my brain that it was like they were just on
Speaker 2: my head. It's like I had chills on the body,
Speaker 2: but it was only on my head. So I had that,
Speaker 2: and He's like, all right, that sounds like a nerve thing,
Speaker 2: which then would make sense with the itching and X,
Speaker 2: Y and Z. So he's got me on like these
Speaker 2: nerve supplements. But I might have to go see a
Speaker 2: neurologist to check on my nerves because I could have
Speaker 2: some weird immune neuropath even going on. So I'm obsessed
Speaker 2: with Nate in a non sexual way. His brain is
Speaker 2: my favorite. That is like doctor house too. That is
Speaker 2: what I told Alan. I could not stop talking about him,
Speaker 2: and I looked at it and go, I hope you know.
Speaker 2: I'm I love his brain like I love Wait, I've
Speaker 2: sent a million people, so I brain go to him too,
Speaker 2: because I'm like, he's just so thorough and he knows
Speaker 2: so much and he's he's just like we will check
Speaker 2: every box. And so then the other day I also
Speaker 2: texted him and said, hey, Nate, new thing minus the
Speaker 2: brain chills.
Speaker 3: I go, I just got the shower. It was a
Speaker 3: five minute shower.
Speaker 2: Wasn't even like super hot, and I have read like
Speaker 2: splatches of like all over me. He's like, you're definitely
Speaker 2: having a huge, a huge immune reaction. He's like, we're
Speaker 2: going to figure it out. Don't worry, you'll be okay.
Speaker 2: So like he also like calms me too. Yeah, So
Speaker 2: he's great.
Speaker 3: I love him. Well, I'm not going feathers.
Speaker 2: He's great. So I got to go back to see him.
Speaker 2: I'm waiting on my He also said too, he's like, listen,
Speaker 2: after pregnancy, He's like, there's something too with food or
Speaker 2: something that your body is like, I don't like this anymore.
Speaker 2: Maybe Roman took the last of it and now you're
Speaker 2: having a reaction to it. So he's like, we're going
Speaker 2: to figure it out. He's like, but you might now
Speaker 2: be allergic to something. So I did a food sensitivity test,
Speaker 2: so we're going to see what comes back there, and
Speaker 2: we're just gonna start xing it off.
Speaker 3: I promise, y'all, I will. Is it better? No, okay,
Speaker 3: it's not.
Speaker 2: Having said that, I found a good shampoo that's really
Speaker 2: helping to stop the itch. But I know that if
Speaker 2: I go like two or three days and I don't
Speaker 2: use the shampoo, it's like back to the Okay, back
Speaker 2: to the itch.
Speaker 3: Yeah. I do think it is some sort of like inflammatory,
Speaker 3: there's something.
Speaker 2: I mean, I just get these random like yeah, random things,
Speaker 2: and that the head thing was really weird. My site
Speaker 2: kind of goes foggy. It's very strange.
Speaker 3: I will say this.
Speaker 2: I think we sometimes, I think a society kind of
Speaker 2: like toss postpartum moms into this, like once you've hit
Speaker 2: a certain point, like you're just back on track kind
Speaker 2: of feeling.
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think it's regular.
Speaker 2: Doctors who have made me feel crazy. They're like, your
Speaker 2: hormones are fine, You've had now two periods, You're good.
Speaker 2: And I'm like, then why is Nate saying that? Hormonally
Speaker 2: like I'm off and I was.
Speaker 3: Lo lo to like a four.
Speaker 1: And they never dig into like you do typical blood work,
Speaker 1: but they never dig deeper unless there's like a reason too,
Speaker 1: And that's why I love Nate. There wasn't really a
Speaker 1: reason for me too, but I wanted to like dig
Speaker 1: deeper and see what because I never go, which you know,
Speaker 1: that's just you know, how I guess how medicine is.
Speaker 2: But that's yeah, and a lot of I will say
Speaker 2: to any postparton moms, A lot of postpartum moms get
Speaker 2: immune immune diseases afterwards too, So he's like, so he's like,
Speaker 2: those are boxes too that were still like I came
Speaker 2: back to malnourished. He's like, we've got to get you
Speaker 2: like I did the food sensitivity. He's actually changed Preston's
Speaker 2: life too, So yeah, he's determined to stared by Integrative
Speaker 2: Health goes. But serious though, if you guys are in
Speaker 2: the Nashville area, was this last nime? I had Nate
Speaker 2: Burne's neighbor and Saniel in Integrative Health right in Invigorate
Speaker 2: Invigorate Health. He's in Franklin and he's fantastic, so definitely
Speaker 2: go see him. But yeah, so we'll see. But I
Speaker 2: did get a few DMS and I felt really bad.
Speaker 2: People were like, I don't have an itch, but I
Speaker 2: was itching the entire time list soon to podcast. I know,
Speaker 2: it's crazy, Well it is. You just wonder, Yeah, like,
Speaker 2: did you guys ever watch House Doctor House? No? No,
Speaker 2: I had to. I can't with the Preston, can't. He's
Speaker 2: hypochondriac anyway. But it's like that feeling like I'm like,
Speaker 2: let's get to the bottom of it. I wanted to know.
Speaker 3: I just need to know. I think that's what bothers
Speaker 3: me the most. Sure what is it? And at the
Speaker 3: point too, that's annoying.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But let's got another girl on who's so fun
Speaker 2: and I love her. And her name is Kaylin and
Speaker 2: she was on the Bachelor and then she married Dean.
Speaker 2: She's got a new podcast out with Jared and Dean.
Speaker 2: It's called Suckers. Let's get Kaylin on.
Speaker 3: Hey girl, Hey, how are you? I'm good, How are
Speaker 3: you good?
Speaker 4: Good to see you?
Speaker 2: Good to see you too? You just got married? Ye?
Speaker 3: The newly went glow. It's my favorite. I have to say.
Speaker 2: I was when every time, you know, I would like
Speaker 2: see you as an Instagram I'm like, is he going
Speaker 2: to propose to her? Yet? Like what is going on?
Speaker 2: I'm like this is taking forever. I'm like I'm getting
Speaker 2: as annoyed as watching Tanya rads thing. And then Like'm like,
Speaker 2: these girls need to get freaking engage, like they're ready.
Speaker 3: You get so into it, I really do.
Speaker 2: When are they going to because I know they you know,
Speaker 2: at least I knew like Tanya was like ready, you know,
Speaker 2: so I'm like, were you kind of like it was like,
Speaker 2: how many five years?
Speaker 4: Yeah, we're coming up on five years. So yeah, he
Speaker 4: really took his time, but yeah, I was ready. I
Speaker 4: was ready, like because I'm from the South, and I
Speaker 4: was like I could, I could be married tomorrow and
Speaker 4: be ready for kids. But now that we're married, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: I'll wait on the kids.
Speaker 2: Ah yeah, right, like us forty year old moms. I'll
Speaker 2: tell you, Yeah, I need you to wait not too long,
Speaker 2: because I got to tell you the recovery once you
Speaker 2: hit forty it's a little different.
Speaker 4: How old are you twenty eight?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, twenty times being married?
Speaker 4: Yeah, thirty sounds good. I guess. I don't know.
Speaker 3: I'm just scared. Thirty two.
Speaker 2: So the van, So when he said like he wanted
Speaker 2: to live in a van, that didn't scare you off
Speaker 2: or was that part of your idea?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I had a crush on him for
Speaker 4: it's probably been like eight years now, so I was
Speaker 4: just so in love with him upon meeting him, and
Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I'll do like whatever weird stuff
Speaker 4: you want to do.
Speaker 3: But way, yeah, I don't know why.
Speaker 2: That's so cute. What was it about Dean? I mean,
Speaker 2: because you know, obviously I met him. He's such a
Speaker 2: he's a handsome guy, he's so he's so nice, he's
Speaker 2: so sweet. But what was it that were like, he's
Speaker 2: my guy?
Speaker 4: It's it's kind of those exact things I I just saw,
Speaker 4: like how he was with people and the way that
Speaker 4: he treats people. He can walk into a room and
Speaker 4: make everyone feel so comfortable, and like, now I rely
Speaker 4: on him so heavily, which is terrible. Like if he's
Speaker 4: not with me, I'm very introverted, I'm very shy, and
Speaker 4: he's just like I just love the way he puts
Speaker 4: people at ease and makes people feel so cared for.
Speaker 4: And I was like, I want that. That's what I
Speaker 4: want as a Husband's that's who I want as the
Speaker 4: father of my kids.
Speaker 2: Okay, Now the flip side of that, what is one
Speaker 2: thing where you're like, this is gonna drive me crazy
Speaker 2: now as you know for years as your wife, or
Speaker 2: what is the one thing they're like, he doesn't he
Speaker 2: doesn't communicate well, Or what's the thing that's is a
Speaker 2: little bit of a tough point in it.
Speaker 4: Funny enough, he brought this up yesterday on a podcast.
Speaker 4: It's pretty gross and pretty embarrassing. So he likes to
Speaker 4: pick his nose in public and it grosses me. I'm
Speaker 4: like this, we learned this as kids.
Speaker 3: We don't do this, like for you.
Speaker 4: I'm like what, and he tells me he's like, well, whatever,
Speaker 4: He's come up with a million reasons. He's like, I
Speaker 4: produced more bookers than the most most people, I don't
Speaker 4: know whatever. And I talked to my therapist about it,
Speaker 4: and I was like, I know this is but like
Speaker 4: it's actually caused a fight between us, and she took
Speaker 4: his side and was like, you envy the part of
Speaker 4: him that is like care free and still a kid.
Speaker 4: She's like, not that you want to pick your nose
Speaker 4: in public, but you know you did pageants and you
Speaker 4: feel sort of like shame and this need to be perfect.
Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, sure. But he brought it
Speaker 4: up to everyone last night because we're in public beach
Speaker 4: right now, and every single guy agreed with me. They're like,
Speaker 4: you just don't do that.
Speaker 2: I will say this, so I was I'm not gonna
Speaker 2: say which couple it is, but there was a couple
Speaker 2: that was talking to me and my fiance and they
Speaker 2: were saying how they fart in front of each other,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, we don't fart in front of each
Speaker 2: other because and we had the discussion at the end
Speaker 2: of the night, just Alan and I and he goes.
Speaker 2: I just think there's a piece of the relationship that
Speaker 2: still needs to remain. He's like, I'd like, I don't
Speaker 2: want to fart in front of you, like he has
Speaker 2: by accident one time, like he walked away like he
Speaker 2: did a pantry and I was like, I just heard that.
Speaker 2: I thought I was gonna be silent, you know, and
Speaker 2: it was like this funny thing and we laughed. But
Speaker 2: like there's still like this. I don't know. It's like, yeah,
Speaker 2: you want to be friends and you want to be
Speaker 2: like cool, but it's still like you're my wife, you're
Speaker 2: my husband. Like I don't know, like there needs to
Speaker 2: be some for us at least like same some sort
Speaker 2: of I was like, let's keep what we do you
Speaker 2: for what far?
Speaker 3: Yeah, totally does bother me.
Speaker 2: It doesn't make me want to just like have sex
Speaker 2: with the I still think there has to be some
Speaker 2: sort of like emotional and not emotional, but some kind
Speaker 2: of like sexiness there and intrigue.
Speaker 3: And I don't know for us at least.
Speaker 4: That's how I feel too, with the farting, especially because
Speaker 4: he will just let it loose. And then after we
Speaker 4: got married, he was like, I think I want to
Speaker 4: stop farting in front of you.
Speaker 2: Well it's like it it's like because you want I
Speaker 2: still want to date him, you know what I mean,
Speaker 2: And I want him to date me, and I don't
Speaker 2: want just to think that, like, you know, farting. I
Speaker 2: don't know, it's just it's like it's I wouldn't do
Speaker 2: that on a date with someone that I want to impress.
Speaker 2: Not that I need to impress my fancy, nor is
Speaker 2: he impressed me, but it's still that like well, first
Speaker 2: of all, the word in itself makes me cringe. So
Speaker 2: I've just been in a state of like constant tension
Speaker 2: for the last two minutes. I feel that way too,
Speaker 2: like the courtship piece of it, like I still want
Speaker 2: you to like want to be a certain way for
Speaker 2: me or something like, but you.
Speaker 3: Guys, just let it go.
Speaker 1: I mean we I mean not all the time, but yeah,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't bother me if I said it bothered me.
Speaker 3: Then I don't know, it wouldn't like it just doesn't
Speaker 3: bother me.
Speaker 2: It's not it's not a bother It's like it doesn't
Speaker 2: bother me either, Yeah, it bother me. It was just
Speaker 2: it's more of like a it's just I don't know,
Speaker 2: like it's not sexy. Yeah, it's like I want to
Speaker 2: date each other still, like in that sense, it doesn't.
Speaker 2: But okay, So picking the nose is like you guys
Speaker 2: got into a fight because you're like, I don't want
Speaker 2: you to pick your nose in front of you.
Speaker 4: It was really a fight. And I was like, this
Speaker 4: is insane because maybe that's the whole bigger picture here.
Speaker 4: He's he's willing to compromise on a lot, but he
Speaker 4: wasn't willing to compromise here. And I was like, how
Speaker 4: is it just like a non negotiable. It's like I'm
Speaker 4: picking my nose whenever I have anything going on up there.
Speaker 2: I'm like, and then You're like, I'm having this fight
Speaker 2: right now about picking your nose, like in the middle
Speaker 2: of it, and go are we really having a fight
Speaker 2: about this?
Speaker 3: Yes? I was like, are we okay? This is what aout?
Speaker 2: Well I do when it's ingrained in you too, Like
Speaker 2: raise Southern is a thing for sure that you know,
Speaker 2: there's like what is proper and what is not, and
Speaker 2: then pageants take that up another level and then you've
Speaker 2: got sweet Deane just digging for gold in the corner.
Speaker 2: It feels like it just all doesn't align for your
Speaker 2: little world, you know.
Speaker 4: Yeah, That's something I've been struggling with too, is like
Speaker 4: you know, I've got friends and I look at their
Speaker 4: marriages and I don't look at like one of my
Speaker 4: good friends Jess, I don't look at her husband and
Speaker 4: think that's a reflection of her. And that's something with
Speaker 4: like the pageant my uptightness that I'm working on, where
Speaker 4: I feel like if he does something embarrassing, it's a
Speaker 4: reflection of me, and that's kind of what can cause
Speaker 4: arguments and I'm like, Okay, he can be. You know,
Speaker 4: we all have flaws. Pill do it whatever.
Speaker 3: It's not it's not.
Speaker 4: As I don't know.
Speaker 3: That's hard.
Speaker 1: That's a huge one for me, Like we will still
Speaker 1: sixteen years in, I will get mad at.
Speaker 2: Somebody say sixty nine like now.
Speaker 3: And still really works.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he does something that like I'm embarrassed by or
Speaker 1: that I don't think or I know bother someone like
Speaker 1: it will like it will cause a fight, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: oh yeah, like I know specifically things that bother you
Speaker 1: about my husband and if I will be like, don't
Speaker 1: do it, he.
Speaker 3: Doesn't do it around me anymore.
Speaker 4: She knows.
Speaker 3: Can we know? He does?
Speaker 2: Like a thing where and so and it makes me
Speaker 2: like he makes his snot thing in his nose and
Speaker 2: it's like like to swallow, like you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But also that gives me such anxiety. But it shouldn't.
Speaker 3: It should not.
Speaker 1: Annoys her, but it just it drives me crazy. And
Speaker 1: he's like, thanks for controlling what I do around other people.
Speaker 1: And finally I was like, you know what you do
Speaker 1: you I don't. I don't care, like I'm trying to
Speaker 1: be better at that, but it's hard. It's you think
Speaker 1: it reflects you.
Speaker 4: Yes, that's his reaction too. He's like, why do you
Speaker 4: want to control me or change me? And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 4: I just I don't know.
Speaker 3: I would just like to bring me a little tell
Speaker 3: me then.
Speaker 2: So this personality type is interesting because I don't know
Speaker 2: much about you before I got to be introduced to
Speaker 2: you on a bio and you're precious and amazing and
Speaker 2: young and beautiful, but so doing reality TV is quite
Speaker 2: the opposite of the way you grew up and kind
Speaker 2: of like your path until the Bachelor.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's so weird.
Speaker 3: How does that mix for you? I'm interested to know.
Speaker 2: And are you just watching some of these girls on
Speaker 2: this cast like somebody needs to call their mother?
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and people probably watched I mean definitely watched me.
Speaker 4: And it's thought the same thing I think with pageants and
Speaker 4: like the way that I was, I just felt this
Speaker 4: need to be perfect all the time. I had this
Speaker 4: obsession with and I was not even close to being perfect,
Speaker 4: but I just had this obsession with it. And then
Speaker 4: I go on reality TV and just kind of let
Speaker 4: loose and got really drunk and was like a completely
Speaker 4: different version of myself and twenty three, So just making
Speaker 4: mistakes on television wasn't great.
Speaker 3: I love it you.
Speaker 2: I watched that season and I was just like, a
Speaker 2: she's a doll, Like.
Speaker 3: I love her.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And what you did is you just went out
Speaker 2: and you were a person. So I just wanted to
Speaker 2: say that out loud, like that's all you did. You
Speaker 2: just were person. I know that's hard for your sweet,
Speaker 2: prim improper brain, but you just went out and did
Speaker 2: what we all do, and so good for you.
Speaker 3: That's exciting.
Speaker 4: That makes me feel better. Thank you. Being with Dean too,
Speaker 4: it really like I kind of let loose a little
Speaker 4: bit on the show and then being with him, he
Speaker 4: was like, why are you so obsessed with this perfection thing?
Speaker 4: Like it's dumb, nobody's perfect, nobody judges you, and so like,
Speaker 4: slowly over the past five years, I've been able to
Speaker 4: just kind of like come into my own a little
Speaker 4: bit more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's helped you with that, So I think
Speaker 2: that's really that's really sweet. Where was Dean raised?
Speaker 3: What? What do we know about Dean is hey Colorado?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so we just moved back to his hometown Colorado. Okay, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: grew up like right outside of Aspens. So we just
Speaker 4: moved there two weeks ago, back to his hometown.
Speaker 2: Not in a van, not in the van. Thank good
Speaker 2: for you, woll that's exciting. What is y'all's fighting communication styles?
Speaker 2: Like what do you guys do when you guys are
Speaker 2: talking in a big fight about picking noses?
Speaker 3: Like how do you guys? How do you guys fight
Speaker 3: your fighting.
Speaker 4: Fight and.
Speaker 3: Are you slamming doors?
Speaker 4: Are?
Speaker 2: Like?
Speaker 3: Is one a slammer?
Speaker 2: Is one? Like? I don't want to talk right now,
Speaker 2: but I want to talk, like what is what is
Speaker 2: y'all like fighting love style?
Speaker 4: So I am very like I have to think about
Speaker 4: things before I can like fight them out, and he
Speaker 4: wants to just get to the bottom of it immediately.
Speaker 4: He's really good with words, really good at talking his
Speaker 4: way out of things, and I'm just very emotional, so
Speaker 4: I know I need a second. But if we are
Speaker 4: fighting in the moment, he's going to win because I
Speaker 4: just like can't wrap my head around things.
Speaker 2: Well, he has his points already in order, yes.
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I just need to think. And typically
Speaker 4: like we're pretty good. We don't like yell or scream.
Speaker 4: If someone raises a voice, we're like, okay, it's getting
Speaker 4: the little I don't know. It's like fights between us
Speaker 4: aren't crazy by any means. But then what really pisses
Speaker 4: me off is after we have an argument, he be
Speaker 4: good for you.
Speaker 3: Girl, pisses you off? See it again, Len, that's my girl?
Speaker 2: Yeah, come grab a drink there you go, crack the
Speaker 2: crown off, sister.
Speaker 3: He pisses you off, going so Dean.
Speaker 4: Well, after we get into an argument, no matter like
Speaker 4: how big or small, he shuts down and ices me
Speaker 4: out for like oh how long it'll last like two
Speaker 4: to three days, four days, five days, And I'm like
Speaker 4: freaking talk to me, like this is bullsh that, like
Speaker 4: I need to communicate with you.
Speaker 2: I sing as like one of my like I got
Speaker 2: iced before and when I was dating someone, and that
Speaker 2: I don't like that feeling because I'm I got the
Speaker 2: abandonment stuff too, so I'm like they're leaving their you know,
Speaker 2: and then there's just I don't like that, like just
Speaker 2: talk to me, you know, like that's where we always did.
Speaker 2: And I don't know something that you can, but I
Speaker 2: learned from the therapists that you can use. But so
Speaker 2: you have to set a time when you're going to
Speaker 2: come back, Like I'm really frustrated right now. I need
Speaker 2: twenty four hours or I need but it can never
Speaker 2: be they say never over twenty four hours because past
Speaker 2: that resentment, that's when resentment really kicks in. So it
Speaker 2: has to be like I need five hours or I
Speaker 2: need ten and then we're going to come together. But like,
Speaker 2: you can't do the like past twenty four hours because
Speaker 2: it's there's something they say in the brain that like
Speaker 2: just yeah, it is bad for resentment. So did you
Speaker 2: learn how to undo the resentment or twenty four hours?
Speaker 2: But I think I have a couple banks.
Speaker 3: Shoot no, but they don't come back around. Yeah it
Speaker 3: always did, so yeah, it does.
Speaker 2: Biggest misconception that people have of you because you're very
Speaker 2: honest about you know, the pageant life and everything. But
Speaker 2: what is your from everything that you've gone through and
Speaker 2: been in the public ie with Dean and yourself on
Speaker 2: the show. What is the biggest misconception about you?
Speaker 4: I think that I view myself from the show as
Speaker 4: just being a bitch and like, oh I do I
Speaker 4: think like, but I do think because I'm shy, because
Speaker 4: I'm introverted, and because I internalize a lot of things
Speaker 4: and just need to be alone Like I did that
Speaker 4: in pageants. I just had like I had to have
Speaker 4: my headphones and I had to just be in my
Speaker 4: own head, which didn't end up working out for me.
Speaker 4: But I think because I am those things, people just
Speaker 4: think that I'm a bitch.
Speaker 3: Right, because you're not the like hey or yeah.
Speaker 4: I'm really good, like one on one or two on one,
Speaker 4: but I'm not good in big groups, like I like
Speaker 4: to watch people and take in information. But and that
Speaker 4: definitely can come across in a bad way.
Speaker 3: Were you're doing great on one on three?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 3: Thanks, I feel like you're doing a great job. Amazing.
Speaker 3: Is that hard for a dean?
Speaker 2: Because when when you go to that place, does he
Speaker 2: feel like then he has to kind of defend you
Speaker 2: and maybe be more extroverted because or be like, oh,
Speaker 2: she's you know, like make I don't know, I make excuses,
Speaker 2: but that would then piss me off to be like
Speaker 2: I just am quiet, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 2: don't like big groups, or you know, like why are
Speaker 2: I'm tarting to defend? Does that ever go there?
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's he's really good about it, and he knows.
Speaker 4: But we're both we both love alone time. That's how
Speaker 4: we recharge. So he has to like go even harder
Speaker 4: when I'm when I'm like that and when I'm unfamiliar
Speaker 4: with people. So then he comes home and he's so
Speaker 4: drained and can't talk, and I'm like ready and bubbly,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, what do you mean? You have no energy?
Speaker 4: And it's because he has to put on even harder.
Speaker 2: Hm.
Speaker 3: That makes sense.
Speaker 2: That's an interesting dynamic considering how public everything is for
Speaker 2: both of you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, it is, it is.
Speaker 4: And it's like COVID, I feel like has changed both
Speaker 4: of us so much. With we're even more introverted, we
Speaker 4: love alone time even more, and it's it's hard. I
Speaker 4: don't know. I feel like I'm such a different person
Speaker 4: from you know, twenty nineteen Kalin to now twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3: Same and I'm not twenty eight.
Speaker 2: The other day Alan was gone for five days and
Speaker 2: I was like, baby, I missed you so much five days.
Speaker 2: And Cain's like that had been my dream.
Speaker 1: Literally, what you're saying is like me to a tea alone, please?
Speaker 3: You want to talk to Ale in a room?
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, which then you get categorized as slightly more.
Speaker 3: People think I'm a bitch too. I mean, I hear you.
Speaker 1: I mean, but it's like you just kind of shut
Speaker 1: down and it kind of becomes like self preservation, you know,
Speaker 1: and it's like, I mean, I hear you. I'm the
Speaker 1: same way, but I've just gotten to a fact a
Speaker 1: point where I'm just like people are going to think
Speaker 1: what they think and if they're talking to me one
Speaker 1: on one, I'm going to have a conversation. It's not
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna but I just might not seek everyone
Speaker 1: out in a room I might need to.
Speaker 4: I definitely have that shut down to where it's like
Speaker 4: I've had enough. I've had too many people. And my
Speaker 4: best friends at least know it. They're like, oh, Caitlin's gone,
Speaker 4: and I'm like, yeah, I just I can't do it.
Speaker 2: That's a really appreciating special thing to know about yourself, though,
Speaker 2: as young as you are, I think, because I think
Speaker 2: it took me people pleasing well into mid thirties before
Speaker 2: I realize, like, I just don't do well with that
Speaker 2: and I need a minute.
Speaker 3: So good for you. It's trying to make up for that.
Speaker 1: Yeah, if it's like you, you feel like you have
Speaker 1: to kind of like make up for that the people
Speaker 1: pleasing part of it, because I had that too, even
Speaker 1: with friends. Even with friends, it's like I still think
Speaker 1: sometimes people, you know, I've just now gotten to a
Speaker 1: point where it's like, you know what, Like I can say, no,
Speaker 1: I just want to be home tonight. Yeah, I don't
Speaker 1: have to have a reason.
Speaker 3: I don't think my defaults. I did that right, a
Speaker 3: real part. But I think a lot of that's hard
Speaker 3: for a.
Speaker 1: Lot of people, you know, and I think that that's
Speaker 1: but that's part of my figuring out. I'm almost forty,
Speaker 1: and you know what, It's like, this is what I
Speaker 1: need to like be okay, and that's part of my self,
Speaker 1: love and myself, and so I just I have to
Speaker 1: preserve that and I have to do that for myself.
Speaker 3: Where's the adjustment moving now? So you live in Colorado?
Speaker 2: Now, yes, okay, that's a big adjustment, just if you
Speaker 2: came from anywhere. Colorado is like its own thing, right right?
Speaker 2: Are you loving it? I'm a scale from one to ten.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, like eleven. I love it so much. Yeah,
Speaker 4: we were Dean was in LA for about ten years.
Speaker 4: I was in LA for five to six years, and
Speaker 4: then we were in maybe less than that, I don't know, La,
Speaker 4: than Vegas. And we moved from Vegas to Colorado. And
Speaker 4: Vegas was like because we weren't quite ready to get
Speaker 4: rid of La just yet and let go of our
Speaker 4: friends and the life there. So Vegas was easy because
Speaker 4: it's like a thirty minute flight, four hour drive. And
Speaker 4: once we moved there, We're like, oh, we don't actually
Speaker 4: need la, like we can go further. So that's two
Speaker 4: weeks ago moved out there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like opposite day actually, Yeah, Vegas and Colorado.
Speaker 2: I mean you really were like, you know what, actually
Speaker 2: just flip it and reverse it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I actually don't like warmth. But no, it's it's
Speaker 4: been really good.
Speaker 2: So before we talk about the podcast, I want to
Speaker 2: go back to the very beginning of when you were
Speaker 2: on Colton's season and I remember, so I did a
Speaker 2: movie with Cassie. She had like a little day player
Speaker 2: role in the last movie that I was in, and
Speaker 2: I was just like, I gotta ask you because if
Speaker 2: I'm on that show. And again, I love Colton. I
Speaker 2: think he's great, and I'm so happy that he's living
Speaker 2: in the life that like you know that he wants
Speaker 2: to be living in who he is and being you know,
Speaker 2: true to himself. But before that, did you feel a
Speaker 2: little duped when he did come out like, hey, I
Speaker 2: went there with my open heart and to try and
Speaker 2: find love, and like you kind of did you feel duped?
Speaker 3: I guess.
Speaker 4: I don't think I did. Like a lot of people
Speaker 4: were asking me that and trying to be like, you know,
Speaker 4: there were thirty women on the show who you know,
Speaker 4: I don't. I don't know, and I just like, honestly
Speaker 4: forget that. I was on the show so much that
Speaker 4: it never really registers. And he was with Cassie. Cassie
Speaker 4: and I had such a close friendship, so I was
Speaker 4: more concerned of like her well being sure.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense, all right.
Speaker 2: Podcast, So you are doing a podcast with Ashley Ey's
Speaker 2: hubby Jared, and then you and Dean. So that's gotta
Speaker 2: be fun, right.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's fun. It presents its own challenges, but it's fun.
Speaker 3: Challenges which ones go for it? What about? What is bullshit?
Speaker 3: Say it? Kaylin?
Speaker 4: So the guys just like to real about sports and
Speaker 4: it's just so I'm just over it, like ramble for
Speaker 4: like thirty minutes. And then if Deane and I get
Speaker 4: into an argument, like a little tiff, you know something,
Speaker 4: we woke up, we're cranky, said the wrong thing, and
Speaker 4: then we have to like put on this front, which
Speaker 4: which happens in public too, like if there's someone who
Speaker 4: watched The Bachelor and they're like, oh, I love you guys,
Speaker 4: and we just happened to be in this weird space.
Speaker 4: We just have to kind of perform. So I don't
Speaker 4: love that, but that it's rare that it happens, but
Speaker 4: it definitely does come up.
Speaker 2: There was nothing worse than doing in my podcast with
Speaker 2: my ex husband because we obviously we fought all the
Speaker 2: damn time.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a good fight. It was a good fight.
Speaker 3: But Amazon someone posted their day about it. I'm like,
Speaker 3: let me, let me spoil it for you. Let me
Speaker 3: of that book. It is not a limited serious.
Speaker 2: But it was like it was so hard for us
Speaker 2: to show up, and it was awful for the producer
Speaker 2: because I was just like that, like it to work
Speaker 2: with your person when you're fighting is a really tough
Speaker 2: place to be in.
Speaker 3: So I definitely empathize with with that.
Speaker 4: Oh it's fine. I mean only once it was really
Speaker 4: bad because I don't even remember what we were fighting about.
Speaker 4: But he picked his butt. Yeah, like I don't know
Speaker 4: what it was. I did show appreciation or whatever, and.
Speaker 3: But you need to come here. What are you doing
Speaker 3: on that? But I love it guys.
Speaker 2: I will say this one thing really fast. But the
Speaker 2: guys really want to be appreciated for the things. And
Speaker 2: I'm like, he's like I have a dishwasher. I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: didn't you.
Speaker 3: I was like, well, Dad did the luncher this, X
Speaker 3: Y and Z.
Speaker 2: I was like, guys, I was like Joeli and jays Alan,
Speaker 2: it is amazing, abody, thank you.
Speaker 3: It's incredible how much validation is needed.
Speaker 2: So we're doing laps like literally, I'm like, well you
Speaker 2: did that, I produced and gave birth to a whole
Speaker 2: human and you're still on silverware. Yeah, but I make
Speaker 2: sure every time I was like, thanks baby for doing
Speaker 2: the dishes, but a.
Speaker 4: Little bit.
Speaker 2: But that's that's the thing, right there, Guys. Really, that's
Speaker 2: like what they need. They need to like really be
Speaker 2: like thank you so much and like the appreciation, yes,
Speaker 2: but go ahead. So you didn't say thank you for something,
Speaker 2: appreciation whatever.
Speaker 4: It was. It was a fight and he like got
Speaker 4: in late and we were arguing. I was like, okay,
Speaker 4: sorry I didn't say thank you. And then the next
Speaker 4: morning we wake up, he's still upset and we do
Speaker 4: the podcast and we actually this is only one time
Speaker 4: it happened, but we had to close the podcast. Like
Speaker 4: I felt so bad for our producers, Like just I
Speaker 4: started crying.
Speaker 3: It's not their first time. Trust they've been with me, I.
Speaker 2: Promised.
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, this is only like at a level one,
Speaker 3: totally fine.
Speaker 4: Trust I was mortified, and nobody brought it up, like
Speaker 4: Jared never said a word producers.
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, sorry, it's life though.
Speaker 2: That's the thing, Like it's to be on a platform,
Speaker 2: a public platform to do you know, it's it's it's
Speaker 2: just life.
Speaker 3: A lot of people.
Speaker 2: I was watching the Kardashians, but Chloe was just like,
Speaker 2: people make mistakes all the time. Y'alls are just on
Speaker 2: or the fights that people have, fights all the time.
Speaker 2: It's just y'alls are on a platform and then in
Speaker 2: public and you have to do things like this. It's hard,
Speaker 2: you know, but I think it's that's why therapy is great,
Speaker 2: to be able to go and have that space and
Speaker 2: get it all out. And I think you're honesty. I mean,
Speaker 2: that's what everyone is tuning in like they already love you,
Speaker 2: you know, so just who you are is what they
Speaker 2: love and what they want to listen to. But now
Speaker 2: I'm really excited to listen to soccers though, because now
Speaker 2: I want to I want to see the dynamics between
Speaker 2: I don't respectfully want to listen to another dude talk
Speaker 2: about sports for thirty minutes because I'm my.
Speaker 3: Own at home, but she can head down.
Speaker 2: I'm all in for your sweet nose picking because you
Speaker 2: should work on it should be.
Speaker 3: I mean, you guys really need to dig deep. No
Speaker 3: pun intended. I didn't mean, Chris, We really do though.
Speaker 3: I mean there's a real opportunity to be in this
Speaker 3: there and it could help you too. Oh yeah, this
Speaker 3: is the other tissue? Would you feel different? Oh, I've tried.
Speaker 4: I've tried. I was like, do you know that tissues?
Speaker 3: Here's a hanky. I mean, my southern best her to
Speaker 3: come to Nashville the next time we come in Nashville.
Speaker 2: It's just please, that would be great. What else can
Speaker 2: listeners listen to on Tuckers.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so we just, you know, rebranded, and we're all
Speaker 4: talking about things that we're passionate about. The three of
Speaker 4: us come together, but I'm talking about pop culture books,
Speaker 4: things that I'm loving currently. Dean is obviously really great
Speaker 4: at everything travel related, so he's just recapping his trips
Speaker 4: and how to travel in an affordable way, and Jared
Speaker 4: is talking about being a dad. So it's it's fun
Speaker 4: that we all have our little mini podcast within it.
Speaker 2: I love that so much. Right, you're a sweetheart. Glad
Speaker 2: we got to chat. And yeah, whenever you're in Nashville,
Speaker 2: just give a little d M.
Speaker 5: We're here. Oh we need to go to Aspen when Yeah,
Speaker 5: we'll be there on the.
Speaker 3: All right, you're the best girl. Thank you so much.
Speaker 3: Appreciate you, guys. By she's a doll like precious. I
Speaker 3: love her. She's so so isn't being grateful or whatever?
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I said, sorry, whatever, Oh, it's
Speaker 2: too good.
Speaker 3: I would I would be annoyed if nose picking. Oh yeah, no,
Speaker 3: I went like that.
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think there wasn't. I had an ex
Speaker 2: with a weird thing, and I think it's good that
Speaker 2: I don't remember it anymore, but I remember that there
Speaker 2: was something always that. I was like, if he does
Speaker 2: that one more time?
Speaker 3: What are you thinking about, Jane?
Speaker 2: You're thinking about it something I'm thinking about a group
Speaker 2: text right now that's between me, Julie and Pam because
Speaker 2: we I can't say it.
Speaker 3: I'm here, it's rude.
Speaker 4: Let me.
Speaker 2: And les A running her decks savage. Yeah, I'm like,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to see how I can like go around it.
Speaker 2: Maybe and like, but I think some group messages are
Speaker 2: just just left to not be Please again to Leo's
Speaker 2: on the.
Speaker 3: Sage, Yeah, whoa walk into a bar?
Speaker 2: Anyways, all right, y'all, see you later.