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Speaker 1: Wind down with Janet Kramer and I'm Heeart Radio Podcast.

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Speaker 2: You guys, I have something that I have been meaning

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Speaker 2: to talk to you guys about, and I keep putting on.

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Speaker 3: My This is quick and makes me nervous every time.

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Speaker 2: What Kat and I are always like, I watch our

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Speaker 2: physicians change our body language. No, but it's something that's

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Speaker 2: really bothered me. Great shift again.

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Speaker 3: Can we start with this and have to do with us?

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Speaker 4: Yeai?

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Speaker 2: Oh no, I did your dramatic pause just as I

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Speaker 2: go home, now okay cool?

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Speaker 3: Then go okay, so.

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Speaker 2: Shoot, so okay, I have to remember exactly what it

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Speaker 2: was or y'all. Y'all know that I like when I'm

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Speaker 2: on a plane, I like to meet the person next

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Speaker 2: to me, right, That's how you met Sarah. That's how

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Speaker 2: I met Sarah Gretzky, who's still a very dear friend.

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Speaker 3: She's funny.

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Speaker 2: I text her the other day and I said, hey, girl,

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Speaker 2: when you come in to visit. She's like, how did

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Speaker 2: you have two kids? The old baby drowning that's the worst.

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Speaker 2: It's like you're drowning and babies and.

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Speaker 3: It is hard, especially i's one to two, especially if

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Speaker 3: there's two. That's really all this yeah.

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Speaker 2: I keep telling her we need she needs to come

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Speaker 2: on because she's just like I just got It's just

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Speaker 2: I can't certain personality types too.

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Speaker 3: I love to watch Get Two Kids.

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Speaker 2: She's drown and I love watching just because I'm like,

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Speaker 2: I don't think because I had both kids when like

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Speaker 2: you know, she was still like not engaged yet. It's

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Speaker 2: it's hilarious to now watch because I'm like, oh, you're

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Speaker 2: doing so good friend.

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Speaker 3: Yeah you needed this. I love you.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so you're But anyways, but that's my main western.

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Speaker 2: I love meeting people on planes. I love talking to people.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it kind of helps the anxiety a little bit.

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Speaker 2: So Alan and I were flying back from where we've

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Speaker 2: I don't remember. We didn't have the kids, it was

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Speaker 2: just us. I was pregnant. I'm just making sure I'm

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Speaker 2: mullle points right.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 3: So we're on the plane. Where are we coming from?

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Speaker 2: God?

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Speaker 3: I hate that.

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Speaker 2: But we were rushing to get to the plane and

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Speaker 2: and I see this really pretty girl at the gate,

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Speaker 2: and I'm thinking she kind of looked like a publicist.

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Speaker 2: Maybe she We're flying back from somewhere. It was like

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Speaker 2: on East Coast somewhere. We were flying back to Nashville. Well,

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Speaker 2: she ends up being my window seat, so I'm in

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Speaker 2: the middle, Allan's in the aisle, and I was just like,

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Speaker 2: you're just so pretty. Sorry if like I was staring

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Speaker 2: at you earlier, I just think it's really pretty. She's like,

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Speaker 2: oh my god, I was staring at you too, like

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Speaker 2: do I know you? And I was like I don't

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Speaker 2: know do we know each other, because you know, you

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Speaker 2: never know people like work people. Yeah, long story short,

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Speaker 2: She's like realized that she noticed me from one tree

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Speaker 2: hill or whatever. But we started talking and we like

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Speaker 2: had the she just got recently divorced. She's going she

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Speaker 2: was going to Nashville to like, uh have this really

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Speaker 2: fun just like time away.

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Speaker 3: Here's my thing.

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Speaker 2: We got so deep in the two hour flight that

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Speaker 2: we had or whatever that I mean, like we have

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Speaker 2: such similar pass that it was like scary. I mean

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Speaker 2: we were both like teary at Alan's like and over

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Speaker 2: like these weirdos.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, she's my new friend, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I'm like wanting to like, I'm like, oh my gosh,

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Speaker 2: I love Pamelin. Like we're all just like talking like

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Speaker 2: the girls. And then I was like, DM me so

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Speaker 2: I can, we can stay in touch because like, she's

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Speaker 2: no joke like someone. I was like, she's going to

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Speaker 2: be a Sarah, you know, like a friend. And so

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Speaker 2: when we got off the plane, she was.

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Speaker 3: Like I DMD.

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Speaker 2: I was like, oh yeah, I'm like, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: go love. So I go to my DMS. I can't

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Speaker 2: find her DM okay, And I went back. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: there's literally no DM. She said she DMed me whatever.

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Speaker 2: And to this day, I don't remember her name, and

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Speaker 2: I keep thinking she probably thinks I'm a freaking bitch

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Speaker 2: because I didn't respond to her. But I'm like I

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Speaker 2: genuinely wanted to be friends with her, Like I genuinely

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Speaker 2: was like DM because I wanted to talk to her,

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Speaker 2: and I want to be like I was Nashville. I'm like,

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Speaker 2: let's grab it, you know, and I'm not pregnant anmore.

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Speaker 2: Let's grab a drink, you know. And now I'm like,

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Speaker 2: this is she walking around being like she sucks?

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Speaker 4: Well?

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Speaker 3: Does it show that? Yeah? Also, isn't there so therese

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Speaker 3: Missed connections is like a thing? Do you remember that?

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Speaker 3: What is that? Missed connections? Was this?

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Speaker 2: Like I think it was for like dating, but it

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Speaker 2: was like you met at an airport or you met

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Speaker 2: it in an airport bar, and then later you're like, shit,

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Speaker 2: I wish I would have gotten their number, and there

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Speaker 2: was like a site maybe for this where you could.

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Speaker 3: Go say like, well, I'm not trying to date her.

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Speaker 4: Well, I.

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Speaker 3: Just feel bad, but maybe she was.

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Speaker 2: Like that's what I'm saying, like maybe we need like

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Speaker 2: a miss connection moment on Instagram where you're.

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Speaker 3: Like, okay, girl, maybe she listened.

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Speaker 1: If she doesn't listen, she does not remember your name,

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Speaker 1: email me at the.

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Speaker 3: Email on Instagram because she didn't get your DM.

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Speaker 2: I just feel bad because I don't want anyone to

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Speaker 2: think that any connection was a and it's it's bothered

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Speaker 2: me since that moment. And that was when I was

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Speaker 2: pregnant with Jace. I mean Roman, I did not know

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Speaker 2: Alan Jas. Okay, that's very clear before my boy, here's clickbait.

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Speaker 2: So so yeah, I just I don't ever like someone

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Speaker 2: thinking like, oh she was that was fake or something,

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Speaker 2: or because I was like, she's a real moment in

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Speaker 2: connection that I had with this person. I don't want

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Speaker 2: her to think that I was. And now I'm just

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Speaker 2: like I don't know, I don't know her name.

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Speaker 3: I don't. Yeah, that's unfortunate, and she listens.

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Speaker 2: So it really bothered me because I'm like, can you

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Speaker 2: do an Instagram story? I think that's more effective. Maybe

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Speaker 2: we need to do one today. It was well you drag,

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Speaker 2: yeah you'll know it, you will, yeah, I will. I

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Speaker 2: know exactly what she looks like. Okay, she was so sweet,

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Speaker 2: forties like single mom, like I loved her.

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Speaker 3: Yeah she's yeah. I think we were going to go

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Speaker 3: get her.

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Speaker 2: Do you know that feeling though, when you just you

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Speaker 2: don't want someone to walk away going Oh, I guess

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Speaker 2: because when you share something, you share meaningful conversations like

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Speaker 2: you don't want Well, then here's here's the thing. What

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Speaker 2: if she really didn't DM me, maybe it was fake

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Speaker 2: on her side, and.

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Speaker 1: Then she really didn't want to be your friend? She said,

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Speaker 1: she you, but she didn't like you the whole time.

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Speaker 3: I know you need to write the flip side. I thought,

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Speaker 3: I really need to. She was like, I totally DM you.

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Speaker 3: Nice to meet you didn't too much. She was like,

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Speaker 3: that was in l a NonStop. She cried.

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Speaker 2: I cried, did she okay? She it was like listening

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Speaker 2: to you for both of us.

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Speaker 3: Okay, it's fine, and then I was like, you fine, love,

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Speaker 3: this is my like like, I was like, I promise

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Speaker 3: it's out there.

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Speaker 2: Alan's like, can I have another snack bag? I'm excited.

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Speaker 3: I really need to know how this ends up now,

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Speaker 3: which it is.

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Speaker 2: Speaking of follow up, I'd like to move on to

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Speaker 2: the next subject, which is I am getting a massive

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Speaker 2: amount of d ms about your X on your skin.

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Speaker 3: I was like, which one was?

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Speaker 2: I should have paused dramatically, damn it. I've got a

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Speaker 2: lot to learn from your kramer about your ex. I

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Speaker 2: respect my fiance and we don't talk about excess great

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Speaker 2: stuff you brought to you.

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Speaker 3: By God.

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Speaker 2: I really need I need inquiry. Minds, really need to

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Speaker 2: know because what you've done is you've set the world

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Speaker 2: on fire. People have been in their desks and in

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Speaker 2: their cars doing XES on their They're like, so, really, hey,

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Speaker 2: Christ and you might be a best shot at knowing

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Speaker 2: what's going on with Jana and the X.

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Speaker 3: So I'm on his skin.

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Speaker 2: So I when got my blood, I got my blood

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Speaker 2: work back. I went to your holistic doctor named Nate.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: He I'm pretty sure he regrets now meeting me because

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Speaker 2: I texted him at eleven o'clock at night because I

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Speaker 2: thought I was gonna have to go to the er

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Speaker 2: because he's been making me do these peptide injections in

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Speaker 2: my ass and the copper was stinging so bad. I mean,

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Speaker 2: this is like an hour and I'm like, I'm in law,

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Speaker 2: it does get that shit pain. Like it was an

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Speaker 2: hour plus. So I texted him. I was like, hey, Nate,

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Speaker 2: I am so sorry it's so late. But I also

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Speaker 2: know he does own kids, so I was like, you

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Speaker 2: know he can't.

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Speaker 1: He's probably well any texts anyway, Yeah, like to you know,

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Speaker 1: set up and see.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's well, just so we're clear, it's still there,

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Speaker 2: see and just so we're there. My husband's also a

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Speaker 2: patient and there's a certain artist like personality that is

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Speaker 2: a little copy paste, so he knows what he's into. Okay, Well,

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Speaker 2: I was like, do I need to go to the

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Speaker 2: emergency room because I'm looking on Google right now and

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Speaker 2: I might have hit my sadic nerve, which means that

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Speaker 2: I'm like, because I'm doing these own injections in my

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Speaker 2: butt right yeah, I'm like and Google and now I'm googling.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, I could have hit my sidic nerve, Like

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Speaker 2: which way where it's insane to me that I have

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Speaker 2: married you and that you're my best friend.

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Speaker 3: So he's like, you're fine.

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Speaker 2: The copper stings a little bit longer, but I'm gonna,

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Speaker 2: you know, whatever with the dosage. So he has me

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Speaker 2: on like a million different So my testosterone was a three,

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Speaker 2: which is really low. Uh, my thyroid is not great.

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Speaker 2: He doesn't like how my thyroid is.

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Speaker 3: I don't know.

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Speaker 2: He said all these like weird things, and I was

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Speaker 2: just like, can you please translate this in English to me?

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Speaker 2: So he's got me on thyroid medicine, testosterone, He's got

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Speaker 2: me on peptides obviously, he's got me on vitamin D.

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Speaker 2: I have this mute gene mutation called MTHR that I've

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Speaker 2: known about since I did IVF. He's like, interesting that

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Speaker 2: you're not on a supplement for that, because that's something

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Speaker 2: you should take for the rest of your life. It

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Speaker 2: but he's thinking I might have a nerve problem. I

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Speaker 2: knew he was going to dig deeper. That's why I

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Speaker 2: wanted to go to him. He's a total dig deep deeper.

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Speaker 2: But it's interesting because I texted the other day too.

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Speaker 2: I keep texting him. I'm like Okay, new update. Because

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Speaker 2: I had I was like, weird things keep happening. So

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Speaker 2: I'm like, the other day I had these chills on

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Speaker 2: my brain that it was like they were just on

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Speaker 2: my head. It's like I had chills on the body,

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Speaker 2: but it was only on my head. So I had that,

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Speaker 2: and He's like, all right, that sounds like a nerve thing,

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Speaker 2: which then would make sense with the itching and X,

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Speaker 2: Y and Z. So he's got me on like these

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Speaker 2: nerve supplements. But I might have to go see a

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Speaker 2: neurologist to check on my nerves because I could have

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Speaker 2: some weird immune neuropath even going on. So I'm obsessed

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Speaker 2: with Nate in a non sexual way. His brain is

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Speaker 2: my favorite. That is like doctor house too. That is

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Speaker 2: what I told Alan. I could not stop talking about him,

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Speaker 2: and I looked at it and go, I hope you know.

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Speaker 2: I'm I love his brain like I love Wait, I've

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Speaker 2: sent a million people, so I brain go to him too,

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Speaker 2: because I'm like, he's just so thorough and he knows

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Speaker 2: so much and he's he's just like we will check

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Speaker 2: every box. And so then the other day I also

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Speaker 2: texted him and said, hey, Nate, new thing minus the

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Speaker 2: brain chills.

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Speaker 3: I go, I just got the shower. It was a

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Speaker 3: five minute shower.

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Speaker 2: Wasn't even like super hot, and I have read like

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Speaker 2: splatches of like all over me. He's like, you're definitely

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Speaker 2: having a huge, a huge immune reaction. He's like, we're

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Speaker 2: going to figure it out. Don't worry, you'll be okay.

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Speaker 2: So like he also like calms me too. Yeah, So

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Speaker 2: he's great.

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Speaker 3: I love him. Well, I'm not going feathers.

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Speaker 2: He's great. So I got to go back to see him.

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Speaker 2: I'm waiting on my He also said too, he's like, listen,

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Speaker 2: after pregnancy, He's like, there's something too with food or

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Speaker 2: something that your body is like, I don't like this anymore.

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Speaker 2: Maybe Roman took the last of it and now you're

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Speaker 2: having a reaction to it. So he's like, we're going

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Speaker 2: to figure it out. He's like, but you might now

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Speaker 2: be allergic to something. So I did a food sensitivity test,

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Speaker 2: so we're going to see what comes back there, and

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Speaker 2: we're just gonna start xing it off.

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Speaker 3: I promise, y'all, I will. Is it better? No, okay,

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Speaker 3: it's not.

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Speaker 2: Having said that, I found a good shampoo that's really

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Speaker 2: helping to stop the itch. But I know that if

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Speaker 2: I go like two or three days and I don't

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Speaker 2: use the shampoo, it's like back to the Okay, back

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Speaker 2: to the itch.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. I do think it is some sort of like inflammatory,

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Speaker 3: there's something.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I just get these random like yeah, random things,

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Speaker 2: and that the head thing was really weird. My site

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Speaker 2: kind of goes foggy. It's very strange.

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Speaker 3: I will say this.

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Speaker 2: I think we sometimes, I think a society kind of

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Speaker 2: like toss postpartum moms into this, like once you've hit

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Speaker 2: a certain point, like you're just back on track kind

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Speaker 2: of feeling.

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Speaker 3: Yeah. And I think it's regular.

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Speaker 2: Doctors who have made me feel crazy. They're like, your

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Speaker 2: hormones are fine, You've had now two periods, You're good.

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, then why is Nate saying that? Hormonally

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Speaker 2: like I'm off and I was.

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Speaker 3: Lo lo to like a four.

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Speaker 1: And they never dig into like you do typical blood work,

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Speaker 1: but they never dig deeper unless there's like a reason too,

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Speaker 1: And that's why I love Nate. There wasn't really a

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Speaker 1: reason for me too, but I wanted to like dig

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Speaker 1: deeper and see what because I never go, which you know,

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Speaker 1: that's just you know, how I guess how medicine is.

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Speaker 2: But that's yeah, and a lot of I will say

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Speaker 2: to any postparton moms, A lot of postpartum moms get

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Speaker 2: immune immune diseases afterwards too, So he's like, so he's like,

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Speaker 2: those are boxes too that were still like I came

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Speaker 2: back to malnourished. He's like, we've got to get you

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Speaker 2: like I did the food sensitivity. He's actually changed Preston's

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Speaker 2: life too, So yeah, he's determined to stared by Integrative

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Speaker 2: Health goes. But serious though, if you guys are in

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Speaker 2: the Nashville area, was this last nime? I had Nate

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Speaker 2: Burne's neighbor and Saniel in Integrative Health right in Invigorate

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Speaker 2: Invigorate Health. He's in Franklin and he's fantastic, so definitely

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Speaker 2: go see him. But yeah, so we'll see. But I

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Speaker 2: did get a few DMS and I felt really bad.

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Speaker 2: People were like, I don't have an itch, but I

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Speaker 2: was itching the entire time list soon to podcast. I know,

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Speaker 2: it's crazy, Well it is. You just wonder, Yeah, like,

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Speaker 2: did you guys ever watch House Doctor House? No? No,

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Speaker 2: I had to. I can't with the Preston, can't. He's

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Speaker 2: hypochondriac anyway. But it's like that feeling like I'm like,

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Speaker 2: let's get to the bottom of it. I wanted to know.

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Speaker 3: I just need to know. I think that's what bothers

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Speaker 3: me the most. Sure what is it? And at the

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Speaker 3: point too, that's annoying.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, But let's got another girl on who's so fun

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Speaker 2: and I love her. And her name is Kaylin and

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Speaker 2: she was on the Bachelor and then she married Dean.

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Speaker 2: She's got a new podcast out with Jared and Dean.

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Speaker 2: It's called Suckers. Let's get Kaylin on.

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Speaker 3: Hey girl, Hey, how are you? I'm good, How are

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Speaker 3: you good?

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Speaker 4: Good to see you?

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Speaker 2: Good to see you too? You just got married? Ye?

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Speaker 3: The newly went glow. It's my favorite. I have to say.

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Speaker 2: I was when every time, you know, I would like

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Speaker 2: see you as an Instagram I'm like, is he going

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Speaker 2: to propose to her? Yet? Like what is going on?

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Speaker 2: I'm like this is taking forever. I'm like I'm getting

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Speaker 2: as annoyed as watching Tanya rads thing. And then Like'm like,

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Speaker 2: these girls need to get freaking engage, like they're ready.

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Speaker 3: You get so into it, I really do.

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Speaker 2: When are they going to because I know they you know,

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Speaker 2: at least I knew like Tanya was like ready, you know,

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Speaker 2: so I'm like, were you kind of like it was like,

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Speaker 2: how many five years?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we're coming up on five years. So yeah, he

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Speaker 4: really took his time, but yeah, I was ready. I

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Speaker 4: was ready, like because I'm from the South, and I

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Speaker 4: was like I could, I could be married tomorrow and

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Speaker 4: be ready for kids. But now that we're married, I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 4: I'll wait on the kids.

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Speaker 2: Ah yeah, right, like us forty year old moms. I'll

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Speaker 2: tell you, Yeah, I need you to wait not too long,

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Speaker 2: because I got to tell you the recovery once you

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Speaker 2: hit forty it's a little different.

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Speaker 4: How old are you twenty eight?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, twenty times being married?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, thirty sounds good. I guess. I don't know.

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Speaker 3: I'm just scared. Thirty two.

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Speaker 2: So the van, So when he said like he wanted

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Speaker 2: to live in a van, that didn't scare you off

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Speaker 2: or was that part of your idea?

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Speaker 3: Okay?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I had a crush on him for

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Speaker 4: it's probably been like eight years now, so I was

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Speaker 4: just so in love with him upon meeting him, and

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Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, I'll do like whatever weird stuff

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Speaker 4: you want to do.

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Speaker 3: But way, yeah, I don't know why.

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Speaker 2: That's so cute. What was it about Dean? I mean,

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Speaker 2: because you know, obviously I met him. He's such a

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Speaker 2: he's a handsome guy, he's so he's so nice, he's

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Speaker 2: so sweet. But what was it that were like, he's

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Speaker 2: my guy?

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Speaker 4: It's it's kind of those exact things I I just saw,

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Speaker 4: like how he was with people and the way that

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Speaker 4: he treats people. He can walk into a room and

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Speaker 4: make everyone feel so comfortable, and like, now I rely

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Speaker 4: on him so heavily, which is terrible. Like if he's

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Speaker 4: not with me, I'm very introverted, I'm very shy, and

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Speaker 4: he's just like I just love the way he puts

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Speaker 4: people at ease and makes people feel so cared for.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, I want that. That's what I

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Speaker 4: want as a Husband's that's who I want as the

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Speaker 4: father of my kids.

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Speaker 2: Okay, Now the flip side of that, what is one

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Speaker 2: thing where you're like, this is gonna drive me crazy

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Speaker 2: now as you know for years as your wife, or

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Speaker 2: what is the one thing they're like, he doesn't he

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Speaker 2: doesn't communicate well, Or what's the thing that's is a

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Speaker 2: little bit of a tough point in it.

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Speaker 4: Funny enough, he brought this up yesterday on a podcast.

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Speaker 4: It's pretty gross and pretty embarrassing. So he likes to

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Speaker 4: pick his nose in public and it grosses me. I'm

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Speaker 4: like this, we learned this as kids.

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Speaker 3: We don't do this, like for you.

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Speaker 4: I'm like what, and he tells me he's like, well, whatever,

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Speaker 4: He's come up with a million reasons. He's like, I

381
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Speaker 4: produced more bookers than the most most people, I don't

382
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Speaker 4: know whatever. And I talked to my therapist about it,

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Speaker 4: and I was like, I know this is but like

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Speaker 4: it's actually caused a fight between us, and she took

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Speaker 4: his side and was like, you envy the part of

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Speaker 4: him that is like care free and still a kid.

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Speaker 4: She's like, not that you want to pick your nose

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Speaker 4: in public, but you know you did pageants and you

389
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Speaker 4: feel sort of like shame and this need to be perfect.

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Speaker 4: And I was like, yeah, sure. But he brought it

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Speaker 4: up to everyone last night because we're in public beach

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Speaker 4: right now, and every single guy agreed with me. They're like,

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Speaker 4: you just don't do that.

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Speaker 2: I will say this, so I was I'm not gonna

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Speaker 2: say which couple it is, but there was a couple

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Speaker 2: that was talking to me and my fiance and they

397
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Speaker 2: were saying how they fart in front of each other,

398
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Speaker 2: and I'm like, we don't fart in front of each

399
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Speaker 2: other because and we had the discussion at the end

400
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Speaker 2: of the night, just Alan and I and he goes.

401
00:17:29,880 --> 00:17:32,760
Speaker 2: I just think there's a piece of the relationship that

402
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:36,920
Speaker 2: still needs to remain. He's like, I'd like, I don't

403
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,920
Speaker 2: want to fart in front of you, like he has

404
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,679
Speaker 2: by accident one time, like he walked away like he

405
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,920
Speaker 2: did a pantry and I was like, I just heard that.

406
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Speaker 2: I thought I was gonna be silent, you know, and

407
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,639
Speaker 2: it was like this funny thing and we laughed. But

408
00:17:47,720 --> 00:17:51,440
Speaker 2: like there's still like this. I don't know. It's like, yeah,

409
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Speaker 2: you want to be friends and you want to be

410
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Speaker 2: like cool, but it's still like you're my wife, you're

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Speaker 2: my husband. Like I don't know, like there needs to

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Speaker 2: be some for us at least like same some sort

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Speaker 2: of I was like, let's keep what we do you

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Speaker 2: for what far?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, totally does bother me.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't make me want to just like have sex

417
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Speaker 2: with the I still think there has to be some

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Speaker 2: sort of like emotional and not emotional, but some kind

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Speaker 2: of like sexiness there and intrigue.

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Speaker 3: And I don't know for us at least.

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Speaker 4: That's how I feel too, with the farting, especially because

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Speaker 4: he will just let it loose. And then after we

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Speaker 4: got married, he was like, I think I want to

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Speaker 4: stop farting in front of you.

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Speaker 2: Well it's like it it's like because you want I

426
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Speaker 2: still want to date him, you know what I mean,

427
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Speaker 2: And I want him to date me, and I don't

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Speaker 2: want just to think that, like, you know, farting. I

429
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Speaker 2: don't know, it's just it's like it's I wouldn't do

430
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Speaker 2: that on a date with someone that I want to impress.

431
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Speaker 2: Not that I need to impress my fancy, nor is

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Speaker 2: he impressed me, but it's still that like well, first

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Speaker 2: of all, the word in itself makes me cringe. So

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00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,280
Speaker 2: I've just been in a state of like constant tension

435
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:55,080
Speaker 2: for the last two minutes. I feel that way too,

436
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 2: like the courtship piece of it, like I still want

437
00:18:57,359 --> 00:18:59,720
Speaker 2: you to like want to be a certain way for

438
00:18:59,840 --> 00:19:01,760
Speaker 2: me or something like, but you.

439
00:19:01,720 --> 00:19:02,439
Speaker 3: Guys, just let it go.

440
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:05,360
Speaker 1: I mean we I mean not all the time, but yeah,

441
00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:08,359
Speaker 1: but it doesn't bother me if I said it bothered me.

442
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,639
Speaker 3: Then I don't know, it wouldn't like it just doesn't

443
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:12,119
Speaker 3: bother me.

444
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,639
Speaker 2: It's not it's not a bother It's like it doesn't

445
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:17,119
Speaker 2: bother me either, Yeah, it bother me. It was just

446
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,280
Speaker 2: it's more of like a it's just I don't know,

447
00:19:20,359 --> 00:19:23,320
Speaker 2: like it's not sexy. Yeah, it's like I want to

448
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,960
Speaker 2: date each other still, like in that sense, it doesn't.

449
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:28,600
Speaker 2: But okay, So picking the nose is like you guys

450
00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,360
Speaker 2: got into a fight because you're like, I don't want

451
00:19:30,359 --> 00:19:32,359
Speaker 2: you to pick your nose in front of you.

452
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:34,159
Speaker 4: It was really a fight. And I was like, this

453
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,400
Speaker 4: is insane because maybe that's the whole bigger picture here.

454
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 4: He's he's willing to compromise on a lot, but he

455
00:19:39,920 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 4: wasn't willing to compromise here. And I was like, how

456
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:43,920
Speaker 4: is it just like a non negotiable. It's like I'm

457
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,639
Speaker 4: picking my nose whenever I have anything going on up there.

458
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 2: I'm like, and then You're like, I'm having this fight

459
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:52,520
Speaker 2: right now about picking your nose, like in the middle

460
00:19:52,520 --> 00:19:54,360
Speaker 2: of it, and go are we really having a fight

461
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 2: about this?

462
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,679
Speaker 3: Yes? I was like, are we okay? This is what aout?

463
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,399
Speaker 2: Well I do when it's ingrained in you too, Like

464
00:20:01,480 --> 00:20:03,919
Speaker 2: raise Southern is a thing for sure that you know,

465
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:06,360
Speaker 2: there's like what is proper and what is not, and

466
00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 2: then pageants take that up another level and then you've

467
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:13,159
Speaker 2: got sweet Deane just digging for gold in the corner.

468
00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:15,400
Speaker 2: It feels like it just all doesn't align for your

469
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:16,480
Speaker 2: little world, you know.

470
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:19,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, That's something I've been struggling with too, is like

471
00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 4: you know, I've got friends and I look at their

472
00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:24,760
Speaker 4: marriages and I don't look at like one of my

473
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,199
Speaker 4: good friends Jess, I don't look at her husband and

474
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,760
Speaker 4: think that's a reflection of her. And that's something with

475
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,080
Speaker 4: like the pageant my uptightness that I'm working on, where

476
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,280
Speaker 4: I feel like if he does something embarrassing, it's a

477
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:37,240
Speaker 4: reflection of me, and that's kind of what can cause

478
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,679
Speaker 4: arguments and I'm like, Okay, he can be. You know,

479
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 4: we all have flaws. Pill do it whatever.

480
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,680
Speaker 3: It's not it's not.

481
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:43,719
Speaker 4: As I don't know.

482
00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:44,760
Speaker 3: That's hard.

483
00:20:44,800 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 1: That's a huge one for me, Like we will still

484
00:20:47,040 --> 00:20:48,880
Speaker 1: sixteen years in, I will get mad at.

485
00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:55,480
Speaker 2: Somebody say sixty nine like now.

486
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:55,719
Speaker 3: And still really works.

487
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, he does something that like I'm embarrassed by or

488
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,239
Speaker 1: that I don't think or I know bother someone like

489
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:04,800
Speaker 1: it will like it will cause a fight, and I'm like,

490
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 1: oh yeah, like I know specifically things that bother you

491
00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,960
Speaker 1: about my husband and if I will be like, don't

492
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: do it, he.

493
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,040
Speaker 3: Doesn't do it around me anymore.

494
00:21:14,560 --> 00:21:15,040
Speaker 4: She knows.

495
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:17,200
Speaker 3: Can we know? He does?

496
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:19,439
Speaker 2: Like a thing where and so and it makes me

497
00:21:19,760 --> 00:21:22,080
Speaker 2: like he makes his snot thing in his nose and

498
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 2: it's like like to swallow, like you know what I mean.

499
00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:29,200
Speaker 1: But also that gives me such anxiety. But it shouldn't.

500
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:30,280
Speaker 3: It should not.

501
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:35,679
Speaker 1: Annoys her, but it just it drives me crazy. And

502
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,480
Speaker 1: he's like, thanks for controlling what I do around other people.

503
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,479
Speaker 1: And finally I was like, you know what you do

504
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,520
Speaker 1: you I don't. I don't care, like I'm trying to

505
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:44,880
Speaker 1: be better at that, but it's hard. It's you think

506
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 1: it reflects you.

507
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 4: Yes, that's his reaction too. He's like, why do you

508
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,680
Speaker 4: want to control me or change me? And I'm like, oh,

509
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:52,119
Speaker 4: I just I don't know.

510
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:54,680
Speaker 3: I would just like to bring me a little tell

511
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:55,320
Speaker 3: me then.

512
00:21:55,600 --> 00:21:57,919
Speaker 2: So this personality type is interesting because I don't know

513
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,520
Speaker 2: much about you before I got to be introduced to

514
00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 2: you on a bio and you're precious and amazing and

515
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:06,760
Speaker 2: young and beautiful, but so doing reality TV is quite

516
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,640
Speaker 2: the opposite of the way you grew up and kind

517
00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:12,440
Speaker 2: of like your path until the Bachelor.

518
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:14,760
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, it's so weird.

519
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 3: How does that mix for you? I'm interested to know.

520
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,919
Speaker 2: And are you just watching some of these girls on

521
00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 2: this cast like somebody needs to call their mother?

522
00:22:23,200 --> 00:22:25,480
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, and people probably watched I mean definitely watched me.

523
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:28,760
Speaker 4: And it's thought the same thing I think with pageants and

524
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:30,800
Speaker 4: like the way that I was, I just felt this

525
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 4: need to be perfect all the time. I had this

526
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 4: obsession with and I was not even close to being perfect,

527
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,600
Speaker 4: but I just had this obsession with it. And then

528
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:39,840
Speaker 4: I go on reality TV and just kind of let

529
00:22:39,840 --> 00:22:43,040
Speaker 4: loose and got really drunk and was like a completely

530
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,880
Speaker 4: different version of myself and twenty three, So just making

531
00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:47,600
Speaker 4: mistakes on television wasn't great.

532
00:22:48,720 --> 00:22:49,439
Speaker 3: I love it you.

533
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 2: I watched that season and I was just like, a

534
00:22:52,119 --> 00:22:53,240
Speaker 2: she's a doll, Like.

535
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:53,760
Speaker 3: I love her.

536
00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:55,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, And what you did is you just went out

537
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:57,240
Speaker 2: and you were a person. So I just wanted to

538
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:59,640
Speaker 2: say that out loud, like that's all you did. You

539
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,359
Speaker 2: just were person. I know that's hard for your sweet,

540
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: prim improper brain, but you just went out and did

541
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 2: what we all do, and so good for you.

542
00:23:06,920 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 3: That's exciting.

543
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:11,880
Speaker 4: That makes me feel better. Thank you. Being with Dean too,

544
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,840
Speaker 4: it really like I kind of let loose a little

545
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,119
Speaker 4: bit on the show and then being with him, he

546
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,960
Speaker 4: was like, why are you so obsessed with this perfection thing?

547
00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:23,239
Speaker 4: Like it's dumb, nobody's perfect, nobody judges you, and so like,

548
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,280
Speaker 4: slowly over the past five years, I've been able to

549
00:23:25,400 --> 00:23:27,240
Speaker 4: just kind of like come into my own a little

550
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:27,560
Speaker 4: bit more.

551
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's helped you with that, So I think

552
00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 2: that's really that's really sweet. Where was Dean raised?

553
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:35,119
Speaker 3: What? What do we know about Dean is hey Colorado?

554
00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:40,040
Speaker 4: Yeah, so we just moved back to his hometown Colorado. Okay, yeah, yeah,

555
00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:41,879
Speaker 4: grew up like right outside of Aspens. So we just

556
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,680
Speaker 4: moved there two weeks ago, back to his hometown.

557
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,960
Speaker 2: Not in a van, not in the van. Thank good

558
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:52,800
Speaker 2: for you, woll that's exciting. What is y'all's fighting communication styles?

559
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,560
Speaker 2: Like what do you guys do when you guys are

560
00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 2: talking in a big fight about picking noses?

561
00:23:56,640 --> 00:23:58,720
Speaker 3: Like how do you guys? How do you guys fight

562
00:23:58,800 --> 00:23:59,560
Speaker 3: your fighting.

563
00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:00,240
Speaker 4: Fight and.

564
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,080
Speaker 3: Are you slamming doors?

565
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:04,360
Speaker 4: Are?

566
00:24:04,560 --> 00:24:04,679
Speaker 2: Like?

567
00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:05,800
Speaker 3: Is one a slammer?

568
00:24:05,840 --> 00:24:07,200
Speaker 2: Is one? Like? I don't want to talk right now,

569
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,760
Speaker 2: but I want to talk, like what is what is

570
00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 2: y'all like fighting love style?

571
00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,600
Speaker 4: So I am very like I have to think about

572
00:24:14,600 --> 00:24:16,560
Speaker 4: things before I can like fight them out, and he

573
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:18,680
Speaker 4: wants to just get to the bottom of it immediately.

574
00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,399
Speaker 4: He's really good with words, really good at talking his

575
00:24:21,440 --> 00:24:23,600
Speaker 4: way out of things, and I'm just very emotional, so

576
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,600
Speaker 4: I know I need a second. But if we are

577
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:28,000
Speaker 4: fighting in the moment, he's going to win because I

578
00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:29,640
Speaker 4: just like can't wrap my head around things.

579
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,960
Speaker 2: Well, he has his points already in order, yes.

580
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:36,680
Speaker 4: And I'm like, I just need to think. And typically

581
00:24:36,760 --> 00:24:39,639
Speaker 4: like we're pretty good. We don't like yell or scream.

582
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 4: If someone raises a voice, we're like, okay, it's getting

583
00:24:42,960 --> 00:24:45,960
Speaker 4: the little I don't know. It's like fights between us

584
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,040
Speaker 4: aren't crazy by any means. But then what really pisses

585
00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 4: me off is after we have an argument, he be

586
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:54,040
Speaker 4: good for you.

587
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 3: Girl, pisses you off? See it again, Len, that's my girl?

588
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:01,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, come grab a drink there you go, crack the

589
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:02,440
Speaker 2: crown off, sister.

590
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,360
Speaker 3: He pisses you off, going so Dean.

591
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,240
Speaker 4: Well, after we get into an argument, no matter like

592
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 4: how big or small, he shuts down and ices me

593
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,280
Speaker 4: out for like oh how long it'll last like two

594
00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:16,960
Speaker 4: to three days, four days, five days, And I'm like

595
00:25:17,359 --> 00:25:19,760
Speaker 4: freaking talk to me, like this is bullsh that, like

596
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 4: I need to communicate with you.

597
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 2: I sing as like one of my like I got

598
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:27,440
Speaker 2: iced before and when I was dating someone, and that

599
00:25:28,560 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 2: I don't like that feeling because I'm I got the

600
00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:33,359
Speaker 2: abandonment stuff too, so I'm like they're leaving their you know,

601
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,119
Speaker 2: and then there's just I don't like that, like just

602
00:25:35,160 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 2: talk to me, you know, like that's where we always did.

603
00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:40,399
Speaker 2: And I don't know something that you can, but I

604
00:25:40,480 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 2: learned from the therapists that you can use. But so

605
00:25:43,119 --> 00:25:44,399
Speaker 2: you have to set a time when you're going to

606
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,359
Speaker 2: come back, Like I'm really frustrated right now. I need

607
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:49,760
Speaker 2: twenty four hours or I need but it can never

608
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:52,320
Speaker 2: be they say never over twenty four hours because past

609
00:25:52,359 --> 00:25:55,040
Speaker 2: that resentment, that's when resentment really kicks in. So it

610
00:25:55,040 --> 00:25:56,600
Speaker 2: has to be like I need five hours or I

611
00:25:56,640 --> 00:25:59,000
Speaker 2: need ten and then we're going to come together. But like,

612
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 2: you can't do the like past twenty four hours because

613
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:04,840
Speaker 2: it's there's something they say in the brain that like

614
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:08,960
Speaker 2: just yeah, it is bad for resentment. So did you

615
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:10,880
Speaker 2: learn how to undo the resentment or twenty four hours?

616
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:12,280
Speaker 2: But I think I have a couple banks.

617
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:17,359
Speaker 3: Shoot no, but they don't come back around. Yeah it

618
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:19,480
Speaker 3: always did, so yeah, it does.

619
00:26:31,960 --> 00:26:35,400
Speaker 2: Biggest misconception that people have of you because you're very

620
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 2: honest about you know, the pageant life and everything. But

621
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,439
Speaker 2: what is your from everything that you've gone through and

622
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:43,840
Speaker 2: been in the public ie with Dean and yourself on

623
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,840
Speaker 2: the show. What is the biggest misconception about you?

624
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 4: I think that I view myself from the show as

625
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:55,959
Speaker 4: just being a bitch and like, oh I do I

626
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 4: think like, but I do think because I'm shy, because

627
00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,520
Speaker 4: I'm introverted, and because I internalize a lot of things

628
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 4: and just need to be alone Like I did that

629
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 4: in pageants. I just had like I had to have

630
00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 4: my headphones and I had to just be in my

631
00:27:07,840 --> 00:27:09,679
Speaker 4: own head, which didn't end up working out for me.

632
00:27:09,800 --> 00:27:13,080
Speaker 4: But I think because I am those things, people just

633
00:27:13,119 --> 00:27:14,400
Speaker 4: think that I'm a bitch.

634
00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:20,080
Speaker 3: Right, because you're not the like hey or yeah.

635
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:21,600
Speaker 4: I'm really good, like one on one or two on one,

636
00:27:21,640 --> 00:27:23,800
Speaker 4: but I'm not good in big groups, like I like

637
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 4: to watch people and take in information. But and that

638
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,000
Speaker 4: definitely can come across in a bad way.

639
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,840
Speaker 3: Were you're doing great on one on three?

640
00:27:32,160 --> 00:27:32,320
Speaker 4: Oh?

641
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 3: Thanks, I feel like you're doing a great job. Amazing.

642
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 3: Is that hard for a dean?

643
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:39,879
Speaker 2: Because when when you go to that place, does he

644
00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,000
Speaker 2: feel like then he has to kind of defend you

645
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,800
Speaker 2: and maybe be more extroverted because or be like, oh,

646
00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:50,080
Speaker 2: she's you know, like make I don't know, I make excuses,

647
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: but that would then piss me off to be like

648
00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:53,320
Speaker 2: I just am quiet, you know what I mean. I

649
00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:55,080
Speaker 2: don't like big groups, or you know, like why are

650
00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:57,280
Speaker 2: I'm tarting to defend? Does that ever go there?

651
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:00,720
Speaker 4: Yeah, he's he's really good about it, and he knows.

652
00:28:00,800 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 4: But we're both we both love alone time. That's how

653
00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:06,240
Speaker 4: we recharge. So he has to like go even harder

654
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,879
Speaker 4: when I'm when I'm like that and when I'm unfamiliar

655
00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,919
Speaker 4: with people. So then he comes home and he's so

656
00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 4: drained and can't talk, and I'm like ready and bubbly,

657
00:28:14,520 --> 00:28:16,359
Speaker 4: and I'm like, what do you mean? You have no energy?

658
00:28:16,400 --> 00:28:18,439
Speaker 4: And it's because he has to put on even harder.

659
00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:19,360
Speaker 2: Hm.

660
00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:20,399
Speaker 3: That makes sense.

661
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:24,280
Speaker 2: That's an interesting dynamic considering how public everything is for

662
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:24,800
Speaker 2: both of you.

663
00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a lot. Yeah, it is, it is.

664
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,160
Speaker 4: And it's like COVID, I feel like has changed both

665
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 4: of us so much. With we're even more introverted, we

666
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:37,960
Speaker 4: love alone time even more, and it's it's hard. I

667
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,880
Speaker 4: don't know. I feel like I'm such a different person

668
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:43,480
Speaker 4: from you know, twenty nineteen Kalin to now twenty twenty four.

669
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:46,400
Speaker 3: Same and I'm not twenty eight.

670
00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 2: The other day Alan was gone for five days and

671
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:51,720
Speaker 2: I was like, baby, I missed you so much five days.

672
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,280
Speaker 2: And Cain's like that had been my dream.

673
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,800
Speaker 1: Literally, what you're saying is like me to a tea alone, please?

674
00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:00,680
Speaker 3: You want to talk to Ale in a room?

675
00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:04,760
Speaker 2: Absolutely not, which then you get categorized as slightly more.

676
00:29:05,120 --> 00:29:07,120
Speaker 3: People think I'm a bitch too. I mean, I hear you.

677
00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 1: I mean, but it's like you just kind of shut

678
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,719
Speaker 1: down and it kind of becomes like self preservation, you know,

679
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,840
Speaker 1: and it's like, I mean, I hear you. I'm the

680
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:16,920
Speaker 1: same way, but I've just gotten to a fact a

681
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,160
Speaker 1: point where I'm just like people are going to think

682
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 1: what they think and if they're talking to me one

683
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:23,040
Speaker 1: on one, I'm going to have a conversation. It's not

684
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,560
Speaker 1: like I'm gonna but I just might not seek everyone

685
00:29:25,560 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: out in a room I might need to.

686
00:29:27,720 --> 00:29:29,640
Speaker 4: I definitely have that shut down to where it's like

687
00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 4: I've had enough. I've had too many people. And my

688
00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,479
Speaker 4: best friends at least know it. They're like, oh, Caitlin's gone,

689
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,920
Speaker 4: and I'm like, yeah, I just I can't do it.

690
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 2: That's a really appreciating special thing to know about yourself, though,

691
00:29:41,720 --> 00:29:43,360
Speaker 2: as young as you are, I think, because I think

692
00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 2: it took me people pleasing well into mid thirties before

693
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 2: I realize, like, I just don't do well with that

694
00:29:48,920 --> 00:29:49,720
Speaker 2: and I need a minute.

695
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:53,600
Speaker 3: So good for you. It's trying to make up for that.

696
00:29:54,120 --> 00:29:55,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, if it's like you, you feel like you have

697
00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:57,520
Speaker 1: to kind of like make up for that the people

698
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:00,400
Speaker 1: pleasing part of it, because I had that too, even

699
00:30:00,440 --> 00:30:03,400
Speaker 1: with friends. Even with friends, it's like I still think

700
00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:07,600
Speaker 1: sometimes people, you know, I've just now gotten to a

701
00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:10,360
Speaker 1: point where it's like, you know what, Like I can say, no,

702
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,400
Speaker 1: I just want to be home tonight. Yeah, I don't

703
00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:14,200
Speaker 1: have to have a reason.

704
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 3: I don't think my defaults. I did that right, a

705
00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:18,920
Speaker 3: real part. But I think a lot of that's hard

706
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 3: for a.

707
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:21,440
Speaker 1: Lot of people, you know, and I think that that's

708
00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:25,479
Speaker 1: but that's part of my figuring out. I'm almost forty,

709
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 1: and you know what, It's like, this is what I

710
00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:31,320
Speaker 1: need to like be okay, and that's part of my self,

711
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:34,120
Speaker 1: love and myself, and so I just I have to

712
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:36,320
Speaker 1: preserve that and I have to do that for myself.

713
00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,440
Speaker 3: Where's the adjustment moving now? So you live in Colorado?

714
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:43,200
Speaker 2: Now, yes, okay, that's a big adjustment, just if you

715
00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,280
Speaker 2: came from anywhere. Colorado is like its own thing, right right?

716
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:48,240
Speaker 2: Are you loving it? I'm a scale from one to ten.

717
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, like eleven. I love it so much. Yeah,

718
00:30:51,800 --> 00:30:54,200
Speaker 4: we were Dean was in LA for about ten years.

719
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:57,120
Speaker 4: I was in LA for five to six years, and

720
00:30:57,160 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 4: then we were in maybe less than that, I don't know, La,

721
00:31:00,560 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 4: than Vegas. And we moved from Vegas to Colorado. And

722
00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 4: Vegas was like because we weren't quite ready to get

723
00:31:05,520 --> 00:31:07,200
Speaker 4: rid of La just yet and let go of our

724
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 4: friends and the life there. So Vegas was easy because

725
00:31:10,760 --> 00:31:12,960
Speaker 4: it's like a thirty minute flight, four hour drive. And

726
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:15,040
Speaker 4: once we moved there, We're like, oh, we don't actually

727
00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 4: need la, like we can go further. So that's two

728
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 4: weeks ago moved out there.

729
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's like opposite day actually, Yeah, Vegas and Colorado.

730
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,440
Speaker 2: I mean you really were like, you know what, actually

731
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:26,960
Speaker 2: just flip it and reverse it.

732
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:29,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I actually don't like warmth. But no, it's it's

733
00:31:29,480 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 4: been really good.

734
00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,920
Speaker 2: So before we talk about the podcast, I want to

735
00:31:34,960 --> 00:31:37,840
Speaker 2: go back to the very beginning of when you were

736
00:31:37,840 --> 00:31:40,800
Speaker 2: on Colton's season and I remember, so I did a

737
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:43,040
Speaker 2: movie with Cassie. She had like a little day player

738
00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:44,760
Speaker 2: role in the last movie that I was in, and

739
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,360
Speaker 2: I was just like, I gotta ask you because if

740
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:51,400
Speaker 2: I'm on that show. And again, I love Colton. I

741
00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 2: think he's great, and I'm so happy that he's living

742
00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 2: in the life that like you know that he wants

743
00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 2: to be living in who he is and being you know,

744
00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 2: true to himself. But before that, did you feel a

745
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,840
Speaker 2: little duped when he did come out like, hey, I

746
00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:06,320
Speaker 2: went there with my open heart and to try and

747
00:32:06,320 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 2: find love, and like you kind of did you feel duped?

748
00:32:09,440 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 3: I guess.

749
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 4: I don't think I did. Like a lot of people

750
00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,480
Speaker 4: were asking me that and trying to be like, you know,

751
00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,800
Speaker 4: there were thirty women on the show who you know,

752
00:32:20,560 --> 00:32:24,760
Speaker 4: I don't. I don't know, and I just like, honestly

753
00:32:24,760 --> 00:32:26,640
Speaker 4: forget that. I was on the show so much that

754
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:30,400
Speaker 4: it never really registers. And he was with Cassie. Cassie

755
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,120
Speaker 4: and I had such a close friendship, so I was

756
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,760
Speaker 4: more concerned of like her well being sure.

757
00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:37,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense, all right.

758
00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:41,280
Speaker 2: Podcast, So you are doing a podcast with Ashley Ey's

759
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:44,960
Speaker 2: hubby Jared, and then you and Dean. So that's gotta

760
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:45,800
Speaker 2: be fun, right.

761
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:49,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's fun. It presents its own challenges, but it's fun.

762
00:32:50,240 --> 00:32:56,120
Speaker 3: Challenges which ones go for it? What about? What is bullshit?

763
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 3: Say it? Kaylin?

764
00:32:58,680 --> 00:33:01,120
Speaker 4: So the guys just like to real about sports and

765
00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,640
Speaker 4: it's just so I'm just over it, like ramble for

766
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,800
Speaker 4: like thirty minutes. And then if Deane and I get

767
00:33:06,840 --> 00:33:09,640
Speaker 4: into an argument, like a little tiff, you know something,

768
00:33:09,920 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 4: we woke up, we're cranky, said the wrong thing, and

769
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:14,960
Speaker 4: then we have to like put on this front, which

770
00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,760
Speaker 4: which happens in public too, like if there's someone who

771
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 4: watched The Bachelor and they're like, oh, I love you guys,

772
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:23,080
Speaker 4: and we just happened to be in this weird space.

773
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 4: We just have to kind of perform. So I don't

774
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:27,920
Speaker 4: love that, but that it's rare that it happens, but

775
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:29,320
Speaker 4: it definitely does come up.

776
00:33:29,920 --> 00:33:32,560
Speaker 2: There was nothing worse than doing in my podcast with

777
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 2: my ex husband because we obviously we fought all the

778
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:36,360
Speaker 2: damn time.

779
00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a good fight. It was a good fight.

780
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,080
Speaker 3: But Amazon someone posted their day about it. I'm like,

781
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,200
Speaker 3: let me, let me spoil it for you. Let me

782
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,320
Speaker 3: of that book. It is not a limited serious.

783
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 2: But it was like it was so hard for us

784
00:33:57,760 --> 00:34:00,160
Speaker 2: to show up, and it was awful for the producer

785
00:34:00,320 --> 00:34:03,480
Speaker 2: because I was just like that, like it to work

786
00:34:03,520 --> 00:34:06,560
Speaker 2: with your person when you're fighting is a really tough

787
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:07,600
Speaker 2: place to be in.

788
00:34:07,800 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 3: So I definitely empathize with with that.

789
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:13,000
Speaker 4: Oh it's fine. I mean only once it was really

790
00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,640
Speaker 4: bad because I don't even remember what we were fighting about.

791
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:21,799
Speaker 4: But he picked his butt. Yeah, like I don't know

792
00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:24,879
Speaker 4: what it was. I did show appreciation or whatever, and.

793
00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,000
Speaker 3: But you need to come here. What are you doing

794
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,200
Speaker 3: on that? But I love it guys.

795
00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:35,279
Speaker 2: I will say this one thing really fast. But the

796
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:37,920
Speaker 2: guys really want to be appreciated for the things. And

797
00:34:37,960 --> 00:34:39,879
Speaker 2: I'm like, he's like I have a dishwasher. I'm like, oh,

798
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:40,320
Speaker 2: didn't you.

799
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:42,480
Speaker 3: I was like, well, Dad did the luncher this, X

800
00:34:42,600 --> 00:34:42,880
Speaker 3: Y and Z.

801
00:34:43,000 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 2: I was like, guys, I was like Joeli and jays Alan,

802
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,759
Speaker 2: it is amazing, abody, thank you.

803
00:34:49,880 --> 00:34:52,440
Speaker 3: It's incredible how much validation is needed.

804
00:34:52,719 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 2: So we're doing laps like literally, I'm like, well you

805
00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,719
Speaker 2: did that, I produced and gave birth to a whole

806
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 2: human and you're still on silverware. Yeah, but I make

807
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:03,960
Speaker 2: sure every time I was like, thanks baby for doing

808
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 2: the dishes, but a.

809
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 4: Little bit.

810
00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,879
Speaker 2: But that's that's the thing, right there, Guys. Really, that's

811
00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:12,440
Speaker 2: like what they need. They need to like really be

812
00:35:12,440 --> 00:35:15,480
Speaker 2: like thank you so much and like the appreciation, yes,

813
00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:18,440
Speaker 2: but go ahead. So you didn't say thank you for something,

814
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,040
Speaker 2: appreciation whatever.

815
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 4: It was. It was a fight and he like got

816
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:27,120
Speaker 4: in late and we were arguing. I was like, okay,

817
00:35:27,239 --> 00:35:30,239
Speaker 4: sorry I didn't say thank you. And then the next

818
00:35:30,239 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 4: morning we wake up, he's still upset and we do

819
00:35:33,480 --> 00:35:35,560
Speaker 4: the podcast and we actually this is only one time

820
00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:37,400
Speaker 4: it happened, but we had to close the podcast. Like

821
00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:39,840
Speaker 4: I felt so bad for our producers, Like just I

822
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 4: started crying.

823
00:35:40,719 --> 00:35:44,160
Speaker 3: It's not their first time. Trust they've been with me, I.

824
00:35:45,680 --> 00:35:46,120
Speaker 2: Promised.

825
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 3: They're like, oh, this is only like at a level one,

826
00:35:51,239 --> 00:35:51,879
Speaker 3: totally fine.

827
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:55,719
Speaker 4: Trust I was mortified, and nobody brought it up, like

828
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 4: Jared never said a word producers.

829
00:35:57,400 --> 00:36:01,280
Speaker 3: I was like, oh, sorry, it's life though.

830
00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 2: That's the thing, Like it's to be on a platform,

831
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 2: a public platform to do you know, it's it's it's

832
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:08,279
Speaker 2: just life.

833
00:36:08,880 --> 00:36:09,359
Speaker 3: A lot of people.

834
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,360
Speaker 2: I was watching the Kardashians, but Chloe was just like,

835
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,440
Speaker 2: people make mistakes all the time. Y'alls are just on

836
00:36:14,760 --> 00:36:16,400
Speaker 2: or the fights that people have, fights all the time.

837
00:36:16,440 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 2: It's just y'alls are on a platform and then in

838
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,480
Speaker 2: public and you have to do things like this. It's hard,

839
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:24,799
Speaker 2: you know, but I think it's that's why therapy is great,

840
00:36:24,800 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 2: to be able to go and have that space and

841
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:30,520
Speaker 2: get it all out. And I think you're honesty. I mean,

842
00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 2: that's what everyone is tuning in like they already love you,

843
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 2: you know, so just who you are is what they

844
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:38,799
Speaker 2: love and what they want to listen to. But now

845
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 2: I'm really excited to listen to soccers though, because now

846
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:42,880
Speaker 2: I want to I want to see the dynamics between

847
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:46,400
Speaker 2: I don't respectfully want to listen to another dude talk

848
00:36:46,400 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 2: about sports for thirty minutes because I'm my.

849
00:36:48,040 --> 00:36:50,560
Speaker 3: Own at home, but she can head down.

850
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 2: I'm all in for your sweet nose picking because you

851
00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,760
Speaker 2: should work on it should be.

852
00:36:57,080 --> 00:36:58,840
Speaker 3: I mean, you guys really need to dig deep. No

853
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:03,000
Speaker 3: pun intended. I didn't mean, Chris, We really do though.

854
00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:04,560
Speaker 3: I mean there's a real opportunity to be in this

855
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:07,480
Speaker 3: there and it could help you too. Oh yeah, this

856
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,879
Speaker 3: is the other tissue? Would you feel different? Oh, I've tried.

857
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 4: I've tried. I was like, do you know that tissues?

858
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:18,480
Speaker 3: Here's a hanky. I mean, my southern best her to

859
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:21,480
Speaker 3: come to Nashville the next time we come in Nashville.

860
00:37:21,560 --> 00:37:24,759
Speaker 2: It's just please, that would be great. What else can

861
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,440
Speaker 2: listeners listen to on Tuckers.

862
00:37:28,239 --> 00:37:30,879
Speaker 4: Yeah, so we just, you know, rebranded, and we're all

863
00:37:30,920 --> 00:37:32,920
Speaker 4: talking about things that we're passionate about. The three of

864
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:37,080
Speaker 4: us come together, but I'm talking about pop culture books,

865
00:37:37,160 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 4: things that I'm loving currently. Dean is obviously really great

866
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,760
Speaker 4: at everything travel related, so he's just recapping his trips

867
00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:47,200
Speaker 4: and how to travel in an affordable way, and Jared

868
00:37:47,320 --> 00:37:49,399
Speaker 4: is talking about being a dad. So it's it's fun

869
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,600
Speaker 4: that we all have our little mini podcast within it.

870
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:56,360
Speaker 2: I love that so much. Right, you're a sweetheart. Glad

871
00:37:56,360 --> 00:37:59,320
Speaker 2: we got to chat. And yeah, whenever you're in Nashville,

872
00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,360
Speaker 2: just give a little d M.

873
00:38:01,040 --> 00:38:10,320
Speaker 5: We're here. Oh we need to go to Aspen when Yeah,

874
00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:11,640
Speaker 5: we'll be there on the.

875
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,080
Speaker 3: All right, you're the best girl. Thank you so much.

876
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:22,759
Speaker 3: Appreciate you, guys. By she's a doll like precious. I

877
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:26,280
Speaker 3: love her. She's so so isn't being grateful or whatever?

878
00:38:30,800 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I said, sorry, whatever, Oh, it's

879
00:38:36,800 --> 00:38:37,279
Speaker 2: too good.

880
00:38:38,239 --> 00:38:42,040
Speaker 3: I would I would be annoyed if nose picking. Oh yeah, no,

881
00:38:42,080 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 3: I went like that.

882
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 2: I'm trying to think there wasn't. I had an ex

883
00:38:45,640 --> 00:38:47,480
Speaker 2: with a weird thing, and I think it's good that

884
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:50,160
Speaker 2: I don't remember it anymore, but I remember that there

885
00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:52,359
Speaker 2: was something always that. I was like, if he does

886
00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:53,200
Speaker 2: that one more time?

887
00:38:53,480 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 3: What are you thinking about, Jane?

888
00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: You're thinking about it something I'm thinking about a group

889
00:38:56,640 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 2: text right now that's between me, Julie and Pam because

890
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 2: we I can't say it.

891
00:39:01,600 --> 00:39:02,239
Speaker 3: I'm here, it's rude.

892
00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:04,960
Speaker 4: Let me.

893
00:39:06,640 --> 00:39:12,320
Speaker 2: And les A running her decks savage. Yeah, I'm like,

894
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 2: I'm trying to see how I can like go around it.

895
00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:18,279
Speaker 2: Maybe and like, but I think some group messages are

896
00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 2: just just left to not be Please again to Leo's

897
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:22,160
Speaker 2: on the.

898
00:39:22,200 --> 00:39:24,200
Speaker 3: Sage, Yeah, whoa walk into a bar?

899
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:29,520
Speaker 2: Anyways, all right, y'all, see you later.